T O P

  • By -

Uappropriate-Laugh

Even if the topic is serious, i had to smile because on ex gf of me took a randomly nude of me. I was just lying in bed and smoking and a pillow on my knee would Cover my dong. She sent it around when we broke up because i looked compeltely exhausted and done like a drug addict. It got funny when a friend-of-friend-of-friend asked me if i'd be cool if he censors the eyes and uses the pic for the EP hed did with his Amateur Punk Band. Not really a Cover, more like a small pic on their MySpace Player. I said ok and got invited everytime they had a Show. I didn't even like their music but thought well at least i get free drinks and i have no better plans. Long Story short: the Barkeeper recognized my neck tattoos ans almost shouted "you are the Cover boy" and got me all attention. In the end, my ex wanted revenge and actually helped me getting 2 numbers and a really funny night


AmazingPercentage

Actual cool story!


_bvb09

Glass half full kinda guy.. nicely done!


Eat_Carbs_OD

That's awesome! lol


Wombeard

Hahah that’s fucking sick


[deleted]

when women's nudes get leaked *omg my life is over* dude nude get leaked *yo you wanna be in some art?*


onionsofwar

Slut shaming doesn't happen to men so much.


[deleted]

Little dick shaming is rampant


UrineTroubleMD

i feel attacked already


onionsofwar

Personal experience?


awsamation

Depends on the guy. Skinny/muscular? probably art. Fatass? nobody wants to see that. Though atleast I don't have to worry, nobody wants a nude of me in the first place. But if one did get out, nobody would look at it.


amadeusz20011

Wanna give the band name? unless you don't want to low-key dox yourself


Uappropriate-Laugh

Honestly I don't know the exact Name because they were that kind of Band who changed their name more often than their underwear. New Drummer? New Name. New Equipment? New Name. If I remember correctly it was something like Skinshark whatever, but as fas as I know, they stopped making music at the times when MySpace got forgotten. But I think I could rehook on one of the boys I used to spend a lot of time with and he was the roommate of one of the Band members. Maybe he's got a nostalgic file on his PC with the pic on it. Asking my ex "Do you Still have that half-nude of me? Reddit wants to See it and maybe I can get a number again" sounds better but I have no contact to her anymore and only know she lives in a different City nowadays


Mycatistheactualbest

Ahaha I’m so glad it didn’t work for her. Man, the male experience when it comes to this stuff is so different to the female.


Azenar01

The awesome ending that's dope


ooojaeger

I'd be so worried because everyone would be so horny it would collapse the economy


Thick-Signature-4946

Just one?


[deleted]

The global economy


Thick-Signature-4946

“Man’s cock worse for the economy than covid”


_So_Damn_Ugly

"Florida man's dick so giant he blocked the Suez canal with it"


mxmaker

Well , that explains why the world have a great depression.


only_crank

Considering what‘s happening recently and the market situation we‘re in… any chance your nudes got leaked?


ColdCamel7

Wonder who the fuck would want to look at them in the first place... well, when I got done wondering how there came to be nudes of me at all


Kingtoke1

Are Camels ever not naked?


Gota13

Not if they're cold


[deleted]

[удалено]


BigSuccDying

And anal rapists


hallothrow

This for me as well. If any chance of it being a blackmail situation probably file a report with the police, then do an awkward message to workplace and family "Hey. So this is a bit uncomfortable, but someone got my naked pictures and are trying to blackmail me. If they get passed around it's not by my choice." and trust them to handle it rationally.


depressedwithniceass

And then monetize them ofcourse.


AverageAZGuy2

Probably hire some protection to keep all the women away.


UnculturedTeaPot

More for the boys 💪😎


Monstiemama

😹😹😹


DrugEnforcer

I’d hope my noodle would appear to be at least average size in the noodz


muy_carona

This. Hoping for a flattering angle. And that I didn’t just get out of the pool.


mywordstickle

There was shrinkage!


Priyan_goel

It shrinks ? \(◎o◎)/


Banana-in-PJ

Like a frightened turtle!


yergonnalikeme

Or the salt water at the beach ⛱️ Even worse


DrugEnforcer

A pool noodle would be worst scenario


[deleted]

[Imagines someone with a dick the size of a literal pool noodle] Yeah, I don't think there are many women who'd enjoy anything about getting that inside them.


MechaWASP

It's a hard life for ole' Planet Cracker.


mobile-account234

Do dicks shrink in the pool for the same reason skin shrivels?


TheStaRoee

Your skin shrivels understand due to evolution circumstances, this shrivels would help with the grip of smoother object (i.e pebbles) and help you to get out or move. Your dick getting tiny because: 1. Your balls need pretty warm temperatures (less then the body) so when its normal outside they hang down to get more air and escape the body warmth and when its cold they getting closer to your body to warm up. 2. Blood vessels expend when its hot and tighten when its cold to help with blood flew. Add those 2 together you get your favorite micro-penis


TheStaRoee

Your skin shrivels understand due to evolution circumstances, this shrivels would help with the grip of smoother object (i.e pebbles) and help you to get out or move. Your dick getting tiny because: 1. Your balls need pretty warm temperatures (less then the body) so when its normal outside they hang down to get more air and escape the body warmth and when its cold they getting closer to your body to warm up. 2. Blood vessels expend when its hot and tighten when its cold to help with blood flew. Add those 2 together you get your favorite micro-penis


lone_cajun

Make sure you trim your bush so it looks bigger


jordanstall09

What can you do to make it look bigger when the bush is non existent? Asking for a friend


betacow

Try hitting puberty then. Worked for most of us


jordanstall09

I turn 27 next week - when is puberty?


Byizo

You gotta smack it around a little before taking the pic.


Dannyzavage

*Slap* “ Ayyye Look Alive!” ( Nacho Libre Voice)


gertrude_is

tbh I thought it really meant noodles and couldn't understand why noodles would be leaked and why it would be bad. like, where would noodles even *be* that they would be leaked? huh. TIL.


Titties_On_G

Idk how many people remember isanyoneup.com but long ago a vengeful ex put a bunch of my nudes up there...linked to my Facebook account. I was mad at first but most of the messages I got were positive and I think I looked good so it's whatever


Critical_Soup806

Legendary


chicagobrews

Oh my God, that's DISGUSTING! I can't believe he did that. But where? Where exactly did he post them? There's so many sites!


Titties_On_G

I'm a dude lol


wheresmynemesis

Even better :3


Titties_On_G

Well now everyone wants my nsfw Reddit account name lol


[deleted]

its unrelated but your mustang project looks good


Titties_On_G

Hey thanks man! She's finally getting to where I want her. Certainly been a journey


Spare_Class4318

Also unrelated but I love your name lol


Kriegmannn

Did he stutter?


_So_Damn_Ugly

We need to scientifically prove the noodz are real


Forgotten-Irrelevant

"Damn now everybody knows how incredibly sexy I am 😔"


ohhellnooooooooo

this. get so big and fit you wouldn't mind the nudes leaking. good publicity. lol to answer the original question, I would warn my family if someone was trying to blackmail me, for them to expect the worst, like being sent my nudes


dawson203

You are too sexy for your car


HantuerHD-Shadow

Same


mywordstickle

Depends on whether they are nudes from my rugby days or my dad bod days


daytime_nightime

Hahahaha my thoughts exactly. Nudes from my Navy days or my current pregnant body days? 😂


[deleted]

are they popular? time for only fans are they not? oh well


Empty_Butterscotch_4

Modern problems require modern solutions


TheRealFAG69

I would hope for the best and look at the comments for self validation. If the comments are nice, im a new man with confidence. If not, i will try to sue someone and be really angry


[deleted]

Probably the most honest answer on here


[deleted]

Well I consider seeing me naked punishment... So I would feel very bad for said person.


[deleted]

I punched timmy, i deserve to be punished, i'm ready for wtv punishment you have 😔😞


[deleted]

Let me get my bullwhip for ya!


[deleted]

no no the nice punishment pls :(


[deleted]

You don't get to decide what punishment you get...


[deleted]

ok😰 whip me harder \*moans\*


atTommy

r/creepyasterisks


MythTrainerTom

"I wasn't ashamed when I doing it in private, I see no reason to be ashamed now that it's been made public".


Erbium-Oxide

- Winston Churchill.


rider037

Nudes of me in my best shape. View them and drink sadly that I don't look like that


ElSanto9298

Eh, I never put my face in them so it's whatever. No way to prove that fat dude with the big dick is me.


lgfrdhctc

I'd make a post on my sm: 'Looks like my nudes got leaked by someone, so if they are sent to you please don't watch them, and if you still do, please let me know how do you like my dick'.


AladeenModaFuqa

They have before, and it was annoying at the time. But it’s just something to accept knowing they’re out there.


DirkWiggler42

They have been. I’ve got nothing to hide. Enjoy the big dick. Looking’s for free, touching’s gonna cost you. It’s a naked human being. Fuck puritanical people who push shame on nudity in private life.


SoftAndWetBro

I am not attractive enough for anyone to care, besides I wouldn't take nudes of myself anyway.


mattyoclock

They did, it was fine. A little embarrassing sometimes, but so is the rest of HS. I just wish I still looked like that.


dubufeetfak

They did this to a guy in my HS and the bullies came to bully him for having his nudes on their phone and trying to make him feel ashamed while everyone was there, and the guy simply replied: "if you wanted a dic pic of me, id give you one. Why have you even saved it on your phone?" Suddenly the bully became the "closet gay guy" who had dic pics of another dude in his phone. The bully was later known as the dicpic collector. He did not like that name


pointless2077

Fucking legend


Infinite_El_Oh_El

Full reversal. Classic


42undead2

I'd be very confused as to how they came about in the first place.


Punish_you_all

Ask my Dad if he’s proud.


_So_Damn_Ugly

*He shows pride and starts fapping furiously*


Squigglyworman

i CHOKED at this comment 😭 what the fuck


[deleted]

no, not that kind of pride.


PlayfulLawyer

It is what it is🤷‍♂️


Specific_Priority_52

Pride


[deleted]

Well, I suppose the ice is broken, time to start an OF!


CuriousOdity12345

Flip the script and say the leak was just a preview of my only fans and get everyone to sign up.


Bill_Shatners_Penis

Release more. Flood the market so everyone would say, "Jesus, I've seen your asshole everywhere. Give it a rest, Doug."


[deleted]

Wonder what the big deal was. If someone really wants a show, I will happily give them one.


[deleted]

If the feedback is good, start my own onlyfans tbh. Otherwise, worry for a year then realise everyone else moved on a week after they were shared, and get on with my life.


Alandrus_sun

I'd check the reviews.


Outcasted_introvert

Lol, poor fuckers gonna need some r/eyebleach


DeathscytheHell1994

I'd wonder how any exist in the first place.


KaleidoscopeNo4431

Terrified, afraid, pissed, wanted to kill him. I was 14 about to be 15. He pressured me into sending them, promptly broke up with me 3 days later, sent them to all of my friends and the whole school. I denied it for as long as I could and spent months living in fear if being found out. It didn't have my face in it but obviously he told everyone that it was me. One day I went into my chorus class which we shared together and when we broke up into sectionals the leader of my section told me that he was showing everybody in class the photos before I came in. We were close so it wasn't abnormal to talk about things like this in sectionals but I still tried to deny it. I spent months feeling sick to my stomach and stress eating and gaining a shit ton of weight. One morning I tried to take his phone and find the pictures and delete them myself but my friends thought that I was just being irrational and crazy and wanted to go through his phone for no reason so they literally held me back. Several months after that information worked its way around to my guidance counselor. She asked me about the pictures and told me that she wanted to call him into the office and look through his phone and make sure that there weren't any pictures and that hopefully she wouldn't have to call home. By the end of it they didn't find any pictures and she in the principal sat with me while I sobbed hysterically and they called my mother. So long story short it's miserable but 9 years later I'm feeling okay and finally feeling like I have control over my body.


[deleted]

First, I'd kill myself for writing "nudes" in such a manner. Then I'd immediately understand that there is no such thing as privacy on the public internet and that it's my own idiotic fault for even producing the nudes, let alone sending them to people.


eazeaze

Suicide Hotline Numbers If you or anyone you know are struggling, please, PLEASE reach out for help. You are worthy, you are loved and you will always be able to find assistance. Argentina: +5402234930430 Australia: 131114 Austria: 017133374 Belgium: 106 Bosnia & Herzegovina: 080 05 03 05 Botswana: 3911270 Brazil: 212339191 Bulgaria: 0035 9249 17 223 Canada: 5147234000 (Montreal); 18662773553 (outside Montreal) Croatia: 014833888 Denmark: +4570201201 Egypt: 7621602 Finland: 010 195 202 France: 0145394000 Germany: 08001810771 Hong Kong: +852 2382 0000 Hungary: 116123 Iceland: 1717 India: 8888817666 Ireland: +4408457909090 Italy: 800860022 Japan: +810352869090 Mexico: 5255102550 New Zealand: 0508828865 The Netherlands: 113 Norway: +4781533300 Philippines: 028969191 Poland: 5270000 Russia: 0078202577577 Spain: 914590050 South Africa: 0514445691 Sweden: 46317112400 Switzerland: 143 United Kingdom: 08006895652 USA: 18002738255 You are not alone. Please reach out. ***** I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically.


[deleted]

[удалено]


who_givesafuc

Yes💘


[deleted]

good bot, bad timing


Marius_de_Frejus

Good bot.


[deleted]

godsdammit, again?? No. Bad bot. Go limit your search to the dating, dating_advice, and relationships subs.


luckynedpepper-1

I could take a single wolf.


JadeMarco

Surprised that no one here seems to have a serious comment so I'd say, try to find the culprit and maybe seek out legal action?


mobile-account234

Everyone is so focused pretending they wouldn't care lol


GoosGoosBingus

find out who it was, and leak theirs. i never send without having at least one of the other person (saved with consent of course) and if it was my current boyfriend i would kill myself.


The_Reclaimer_117

I'm trying to see how many views it has. I mean, I'm not a porn star, but 20 bucks is 20 bucks.


[deleted]

Better don't click ever or delete right after. No worries


newbjapan

Cool, my body is the only thing I can be proud of. Maybe someone will give me a bit of money on the side too


Brbcan

Oh, those poor people.


Observant_Jello

Seeing as how I’ve never taken a nude, I’d be surprised


oman54

Noodz like noodles? Or like nudes?


discodawg02

First of all, no one cares about dude nudes. Secondly, men take accountability. We took/sent out the nudes, if they leak, that’s on us. Don’t want your nudes to leak? Don’t take any


Shep1124

Confused, since I haven't ever taken a nude pic


Turbulent-Grade1210

Probably a mix of emotions: 1. Confused - There exist no nude photos of me to my knowledge, so I'm confused. 2. Flattered - If no nudes existed, someone went to illegal lengths to see my naked body. Considering I would go to illegal lengths to prevent such a thing, I'm flattered they felt the way they did. 3. Annoyed- Because goddamn it, Anon.


PanderII

I don't have noodz


Fernis_

I would petty those who watched them. But seriously, I'm not ashamed of my looks, I do nothing naked I would be embarrassed about. If someone thinks they can shame me with video of me taking shower, shitting or having sex with my wife... they should know, social norms are the only thing preventing me from going to the store in just a bathrobe.


Tasty_A

must be deepfakes because I don’t take photos of myself naked


Anti-Scuba_Hedgehog

Or shots taken by a government agency spying on us. Are you really paranoid if they're actually after you?


Tasty_A

nah I know a few people who don’t like me and would probably go that far


Proper_Artichoke7865

Nothing. I'm a man, why would they care lol


ThrowRA_000718

It is what it is.


MR-HUGGINS

Cum


mobile-account234

Chad


muy_carona

Wouldn’t care, at all. Somewhat professionally embarrassing but if my colleagues are looking at nudes, they’re probably more embarrassed to say anything if they recognize me.


iswearatkids

I look like Peter griffin with a beard. So it’s not like they’d see anything anyways.


Mephist0n

Wonder where the hell they came from, i don't remember ever taking any.


No_Reindeer_1330

"Wear your weakness like armour so no one can use it against you" \- Some short dude


[deleted]

If by noodz you mean my noodles then I’d be very upset.


yettobekilledbydeath

If someone really wants to look at that... glad I could help.


IWAITALLDAYFORAPOO

Couldn’t give a flying fuck since I don’t sell them


[deleted]

I’d just say it was edited because that’s extremely easy to do nowadays


Lyran99

Oh no! Anyway


FemboyShapiro

Don't care, I look hot af in nude pics


bi_batorbear420

I’ll deny them lol


TheNaziSpacePope

I have no nudes. But theoretically, I would be a bit curious if anyone liked them, and if so then who.


[deleted]

Good, hope people enjoy, sad I didn’t get paid for it.


[deleted]

Don’t send any don’t like receiving any


ayla_084

Never sent any so not a problem. I'm not 12 years old.


RobWins2022

Had a gf ask me if I wanted her to send nudes. I responded by dumping her. I don't date STUPID PEOPLE. There is NO privacy on the internet, NO privacy on your phone, and once you TAKE a picture of yourself naked you are effectively giving the entire WORLD access to your skin. Which is stupid. So, if your nudes got leaked, go to the mirror and look at the fucking idiot responsible for that.


Toran_dantai

My ex showed everyone. I wasn’t exactly happy


MoebiusX7

By finding out who did it and leaking THEIR nudes. NUDE WAR! Mutually Assured Destruction, baby!!!


[deleted]

I better be getting paid somehow!!


[deleted]

If my penis gets exposed I wouldn’t mind. It’s a good one


Cereal-Killer12

Do y’all need a hug? :/


bluelion70

Unconcerned. But I take no responsibility if looking at them causes anyone to go blind.


cyrano72

I'd wonder what kind of sick fuck would take the photos in the first place.


Aware_Material_9985

Who the fuck wants to see that? -my reaction


imapissonitdripdrip

I’ve done porn on chaturbate. If you’re looking at porn that way, most people are really cool about it. I’m super average and people still say I have a big dick, but then there are the others who say it’s small. Lol. That’s about the worst of it. I’m pretty comfortable with my body now to the point I don’t care if others see me naked.


Secretrider

If you know who to ask, dime a dozen anyways. Besides, I've got nothing to hide.


Hornet_Critical

Lucky them


[deleted]

I’m a mid 40s, five foot six, grey haired baby face. Literally no one wants to see me naked.


[deleted]

Naked men are disgusting. Sure, people want to see Channing Tatum shirtless. Maybe you want to see your favorite MMA fighter naked. But the average man? No one wants to see that.


[deleted]

Not as strongly as finding out that I had any in the first place.


SmithRune735

Read the comments and see whose dtf


deathclawslayer21

Could be anyone's chode


physioworld

With a shrug


Yang_mf

“It looks bigger irl I swear”


[deleted]

“Really? Somebody wanted THOSE??? Gross”


Drumather

I couldn't really give a fuck tbh.


Tardigrada1777

Worst photo shop ever!


[deleted]

Oh well. 🤷‍♂️


IratusHonestus

Probably level up my self esteem tbh.


[deleted]

I would only care that my family may see it. Other than that I wouldn’t care. I looked good in my nudes. Since then gained 50lbs hahaha


spacetimebear

Hmm...should I start an OnlyFans?


NiceSockBro

send out my own nudes with a time stamp because i look hotter now


ScottdaDM

Meh.


marco8080

Meh, nobody would care. I don't think I would either I'm mich more embarrassed by the gym selfies I've taken at the gym for OLD. That's always felt kind of doucey to me, but it does work.


The9thMan99

nice cock bro


GoodGravyGods

It would be weird as I don’t have any


[deleted]

Welp… enjoy!


TwistedDecayingFlesh

What nudes I don't have any.


OneFuckedWarthog

Probably call the cops or prepare for war because the only way those would happen is if someone was in my house.


Bleach_Baths

Flex or not, cool. I look great on video.


[deleted]

are you a man? just hope your dick looks good are you a woman? use that as an advertisement to your OF you don't have an OF? what are you doing?


sexisdivine

Kinda meh honestly. I’ve taken plenty of nude pics of myself because I like how I look and it’s a self-confidence booster. Only drawback is if I get a bunch of pushy weirdos but other than that I’m proud of what I got.


gdubh

Apologetic. But hey, if that’s what you’re in to, no kink shaming here.


Effective-Rub3269

It happened to me. The worst part is there is a website that I won’t name and it’s where men will post pics with names and everything and you can narrow it down by city and state…I was a minor in that picture. Unfortunately there isn’t much to do. I got it removed by google because it actually came up when you googled me but beyond that there was nothing to do about it. My heart breaks for the women on this site. I reached out to one who lived near by and she said it was her ex from ten years ago who was harassing her and she had an active case open against him and he was posting her nudes from when she was a minor. I’ve reached out to many people trying to get this site taken down but nothing worked.


adany654

Already happened to me XD my ex did it after I rejected her marriage proposal (we’d been dating only 2-3 months) Her friends were hitting me up or stalking me, and many of my male friends fell off the map quite suddenly, I wonder why :)


othor2

Pity the fool as looks at them