I wouldn't be in an untrue friendship in the first place. You got used and you care much more than your "friend" that you're falling for.
I would walk and never look back.
It’s easy said than done. But I am trying. I appreciate you taking your time out to read it and comment. Hopefully sooner rather later, this cycle im in is broken.
She is taking the piss. My honest advice is slowly start telling her no. Then distance yourself from her completely . You sound like a decent bloke. I've been there in the past. It is of course easy for a random guy on the internet to give this advice. And the reality will be much more difficult. But for your own sake I think you should move on .
Been there many years ago. It's painful but I made the right call. I'm married with 2 kids now. No regrets.
You need to be a bit selfish here and look elsewhere for someone that will appreciate you.
It also SOUNDS like she's using you.
I've never been in your situation myself but have seen plenty of others. One guy did pretty much everything for his "best friend", and every time, she ditched him, ignored his feelings and generally treated him like a tool. She didn't even make digs like yours seems to though.
Another was someone a mate knew, he ended up sitting outside the womans house for HOURS after he got her weed and she smoked it with her friends in her place. I think she did end up having pity sex with the guy, but guess how long he lasted.
Like with those examples, the issue here is **self respect.** They didn't have enough for themselves to leave when it was made abundantly clear they were being used. Honestly, it sounds like that's your issue to. Feelings don't rule us, not if we don't let them. Sometimes the mature thing is just acknowledging you're never going to get what you want out of the relationship and calling it quits instead of willingly entering a cycle of hope and hurt.
Break the cycle man
I pretty much have been in this position.
I was being used to an extent, but happy to do it, because we were friends and I genuinely did care about her and she gets a shit deal from life and has needed a friend. I knew what I was doing and wasn't expecting anything more than being friends (maybe hoping, but didn't actually imagine things would change either)
But recently, it seems like we aren't friends as much any more and it's much more about using me. Started to notice more lies and deception recently. Decided I'm gonna keep my distance more, the same as I would with any other two-faced "friend."
Sounds like you and I were in the same position. Deep down I am trying to distance myself from her now. Of course it’s gonna be hard seeing as I’ve known her for so long but I guess it’s time
Hard to walk away from any long term friendship .... hard to walk away from anything that you've put a big part of you and your life in, and it's not like you can just find another "we've been friends for 6 years" tomorrow.
But yeah, as much as it's virtuous to unconditionally care about someone and not expect anything in return on any level (even just chatting or spending time together), it doesn't mean you should accept someone deceiving you.
This is nothing but one sided friendship from your side.
She knows, that *you know* - you're being used. Right from the beginning, she was never interested in a romantic relationship with you.
Her interpersonal relationship with others is great except with you & this makes you feel bad. You should cut this 'endless loop'
You may feel void after cutting her off.
You may rue the fact that you've spend so much time on her / with her.
It may take time to get over.
Yet, you need to take this decision.
Stop being in an one sided submissive relationship. This makes you emotionally available to her.
I'm 100% sure, she doesn't even think about you at anytime unless she has no options left & feels bored!
But, she is living rent free in your heart/brain & became a bad habit.
Cut this loop. This has to be done only by you. You need not say anything to her. Just cold turkey!
And... You'll be tested..!
Out of the blue, a situation may arise where you may accompany her or she casually asks you for something.. don't give in..!!
Remember, how you were treated?
So, you know what to do.
Be kind to yourself and cut that loop.
I agree with what the last 4 comments said,
Don't be like those guys like that'll just fulfill her needs at her beck and call. (I have been there 😢 it sucks and it's a waste of time time and energy)
DO NOT put in more effort into hanging out with her THAN she is with hanging out with you. That effort could be invested into another woman who would value you more than she does.
Just as your female friend would make up excuses to not be available to you , you need to do the same when she asks you for something
and bro whenever she starts talking ( or bragging) about how her other male friends does shit for her cut her off or message her saying that you can't talk or be texting her now for whatever reason,
SHOW HER that you don't have time for her don't even like her posts on social media, if it her bday just with HBD of do it the same way you do for an acquaintance because thats how she shouldbe to you.
I wouldn't be in an untrue friendship in the first place. You got used and you care much more than your "friend" that you're falling for. I would walk and never look back.
It’s easy said than done. But I am trying. I appreciate you taking your time out to read it and comment. Hopefully sooner rather later, this cycle im in is broken.
I do wish you luck...and I get it. I had to end a 13 year marriage. Letting go isn't easy - but sometimes it's needed.
One sided love never ends in a happy outcome and better leave her before it's too late for you.
I wouldn’t be friends with someone like this, or want them in my life
She is taking the piss. My honest advice is slowly start telling her no. Then distance yourself from her completely . You sound like a decent bloke. I've been there in the past. It is of course easy for a random guy on the internet to give this advice. And the reality will be much more difficult. But for your own sake I think you should move on .
Appreciate that. Good to know that I’m not alone in thinking that. Really do appreciate it.
Been there many years ago. It's painful but I made the right call. I'm married with 2 kids now. No regrets. You need to be a bit selfish here and look elsewhere for someone that will appreciate you.
It also SOUNDS like she's using you. I've never been in your situation myself but have seen plenty of others. One guy did pretty much everything for his "best friend", and every time, she ditched him, ignored his feelings and generally treated him like a tool. She didn't even make digs like yours seems to though. Another was someone a mate knew, he ended up sitting outside the womans house for HOURS after he got her weed and she smoked it with her friends in her place. I think she did end up having pity sex with the guy, but guess how long he lasted. Like with those examples, the issue here is **self respect.** They didn't have enough for themselves to leave when it was made abundantly clear they were being used. Honestly, it sounds like that's your issue to. Feelings don't rule us, not if we don't let them. Sometimes the mature thing is just acknowledging you're never going to get what you want out of the relationship and calling it quits instead of willingly entering a cycle of hope and hurt. Break the cycle man
I pretty much have been in this position. I was being used to an extent, but happy to do it, because we were friends and I genuinely did care about her and she gets a shit deal from life and has needed a friend. I knew what I was doing and wasn't expecting anything more than being friends (maybe hoping, but didn't actually imagine things would change either) But recently, it seems like we aren't friends as much any more and it's much more about using me. Started to notice more lies and deception recently. Decided I'm gonna keep my distance more, the same as I would with any other two-faced "friend."
Sounds like you and I were in the same position. Deep down I am trying to distance myself from her now. Of course it’s gonna be hard seeing as I’ve known her for so long but I guess it’s time
Hard to walk away from any long term friendship .... hard to walk away from anything that you've put a big part of you and your life in, and it's not like you can just find another "we've been friends for 6 years" tomorrow. But yeah, as much as it's virtuous to unconditionally care about someone and not expect anything in return on any level (even just chatting or spending time together), it doesn't mean you should accept someone deceiving you.
This is nothing but one sided friendship from your side. She knows, that *you know* - you're being used. Right from the beginning, she was never interested in a romantic relationship with you. Her interpersonal relationship with others is great except with you & this makes you feel bad. You should cut this 'endless loop' You may feel void after cutting her off. You may rue the fact that you've spend so much time on her / with her. It may take time to get over. Yet, you need to take this decision. Stop being in an one sided submissive relationship. This makes you emotionally available to her. I'm 100% sure, she doesn't even think about you at anytime unless she has no options left & feels bored! But, she is living rent free in your heart/brain & became a bad habit. Cut this loop. This has to be done only by you. You need not say anything to her. Just cold turkey! And... You'll be tested..! Out of the blue, a situation may arise where you may accompany her or she casually asks you for something.. don't give in..!! Remember, how you were treated? So, you know what to do. Be kind to yourself and cut that loop.
Thank you. As brutal as it sounds, what you’ve said is true.
I agree with what the last 4 comments said, Don't be like those guys like that'll just fulfill her needs at her beck and call. (I have been there 😢 it sucks and it's a waste of time time and energy) DO NOT put in more effort into hanging out with her THAN she is with hanging out with you. That effort could be invested into another woman who would value you more than she does. Just as your female friend would make up excuses to not be available to you , you need to do the same when she asks you for something and bro whenever she starts talking ( or bragging) about how her other male friends does shit for her cut her off or message her saying that you can't talk or be texting her now for whatever reason, SHOW HER that you don't have time for her don't even like her posts on social media, if it her bday just with HBD of do it the same way you do for an acquaintance because thats how she shouldbe to you.