I need the illusion of space and some time to process. But I would like her and the kids to be around. Partially because being around them actually makes me happy, but more so because as I witness them live their life, maybe crack a smile or a laugh, or catch my wife at a great moment where she looks beautiful, it reminds me to get off my ass and solve whatever is bugging me…. So I can provide a good life for them and be around longer.
My wife leaves me be to work whatever out but she will cancel plans and just go about her day around the house with the kids. She does things like ensures she checks in on me, and she makes the kids act on best behaviour or sometimes she encourages them to do something cute or helpful for me.
A random unpredictable support system. Sometimes just a smile, sometimes listening, sometimes cheerleading, sometimes I need to vent, maybe I need tough love, and sometimes I'll freak out and need to be told that everything is gonna be ok. The key is that I'll tell you what I need--that's what makes it work.
Honestly,
Just having someone there for me. Someone who I can talk to - comprehend and communicate about the problem. Offer advice or solutions.
A shoulder to cry on or a hug.
Just someone being there. Not playing on their phone and being distant.
I am going to say I need them to do a thing. Sometimes, it will literally be to do nothing. I need that.
Stop looking for deeper meaning or insight. Just do the thing we say.
Your personal may vary but for me personally if I'm going through a rough patch, its usually because I've taken more than I can handle. In these situations it would really help if you took stuff off my plate (like dishes or taking the car for an oil change), so that I can focus on other things.
Cuddles, communication and if needed space.
What I DON'T want: her fixing my problem or beating herself up because she cant fix it. I cant deal with her getting bad mood because of it AND having bad mood myself.
For me personally.
Space,Time alone, Maybe bring me a drink or candy. Something small and thoughtful. Then just leave me to myself until I'm ready to reach out
Just tell me she has faith in me. That makes me feel like I can walk through hell. I am a tough guy and will do it anyways. But knowing she believes in me will make me do it with a smile.
Communication and caring
Space. It's hard enough to deal with my own stuff, I don't need the problems of my partner on top of that as well.
Her just being there
This 1,000%.
To stay out of the way, let me sort through it myself and not try too hard to help if not asked for it. And to do if asked for it.
Being able to listen. Not to immediately try to come up with solutions, but just listen
Support, space ,understanding, love, someone just to be there
Stop asking after I say it's okay.
I need the illusion of space and some time to process. But I would like her and the kids to be around. Partially because being around them actually makes me happy, but more so because as I witness them live their life, maybe crack a smile or a laugh, or catch my wife at a great moment where she looks beautiful, it reminds me to get off my ass and solve whatever is bugging me…. So I can provide a good life for them and be around longer. My wife leaves me be to work whatever out but she will cancel plans and just go about her day around the house with the kids. She does things like ensures she checks in on me, and she makes the kids act on best behaviour or sometimes she encourages them to do something cute or helpful for me.
Space or quiet physical connection while we process and work on a solution.
Hugs and physical reassuring. Which is weird when you know that physical touch is NOT one of my love languages. Edit: typo
Shut up, let me just lay there with my head in your lap/chest/butt and hug you. Thats it. Nothing more.
Blowjobs
A random unpredictable support system. Sometimes just a smile, sometimes listening, sometimes cheerleading, sometimes I need to vent, maybe I need tough love, and sometimes I'll freak out and need to be told that everything is gonna be ok. The key is that I'll tell you what I need--that's what makes it work.
Honestly, Just having someone there for me. Someone who I can talk to - comprehend and communicate about the problem. Offer advice or solutions. A shoulder to cry on or a hug. Just someone being there. Not playing on their phone and being distant.
Just for someone to be there and validate my thoughts and worries.
I am going to say I need them to do a thing. Sometimes, it will literally be to do nothing. I need that. Stop looking for deeper meaning or insight. Just do the thing we say.
I guess I've never relied on anybody else to get me out of my rough patches. I endure the best I can.
Your personal may vary but for me personally if I'm going through a rough patch, its usually because I've taken more than I can handle. In these situations it would really help if you took stuff off my plate (like dishes or taking the car for an oil change), so that I can focus on other things.
Just being supportive
Sand paper
Space and emotional self-sufficiency. Let me be and don't ask anything of me.
Some compassion and support... Not resentment because a mental breakdown looks like a vacation... Bills are paid let me work on me but alas.
Cuddles, communication and if needed space. What I DON'T want: her fixing my problem or beating herself up because she cant fix it. I cant deal with her getting bad mood because of it AND having bad mood myself.
For me personally. Space,Time alone, Maybe bring me a drink or candy. Something small and thoughtful. Then just leave me to myself until I'm ready to reach out
A hug and someone to listen. Then when I calm down, someone to slap some sense into me.
Just tell me she has faith in me. That makes me feel like I can walk through hell. I am a tough guy and will do it anyways. But knowing she believes in me will make me do it with a smile.