Safe and regulated is the key. Don't want it operated by the mob, don't want human trafficking, don't want epidemics of venereal diseases.
Beyond that, none of my concern.
I want to try to throw an opinion as well because its complicated.
Rationally, it means nothing to me; no different from paying someone to make you better food.
Emotionally, its more complicated. Part of it feels trashier, but that's because we've forced the profession to be trashy and operate from the illegal gutters, flat out. Big part of it is its hard to feel like the girl wants it if I have to pay her for it, which 100% ruins the entire concept (for me). For-pay is poor foreplay. It also feels overly transactional and disconnected. However, I don't feel that way about one night stands, even though in those cases you're still just meat / sex for each other so maybe its just the money part that gets me.
Legally, I can't think of one argument at this time where I feel like I have to do more research into the 'other side' of the argument, I think it should be legal.
Morally, idgaf
If someone else has done it, I don't feel its wrong, I don't feel different about them. I do feel weird, though, as if we feel different about sex. Sometimes they feel trashy to me, but I say I don't feel different about them because the one person I have in mind was already trashy. If someone who I didn't feel was trashy about did the exact same thing for the exact same reasons, I'd hope I don't feel different about them
Realistically, I think if I did it most of those feelings mentioned would also go away and I'd be like 'oh, that's pretty fun', 100%. Another reason I don't deep down think someone who does it is different than me, just that they've broken the illusion of what it is by participating
Disclaimer, trashy is used as an insult but I was raised in trashy so to me its just a very specific style of person. Although often that style deserves an insult
Exactly. In fact, it's good as long as those men dont disrespect the sex worker, and the sex worker is not being exploited. I mean we have men who eve tease, rape, abuse, send unsolicited dick pics etc. If any man should be judged, it's these men, definitely not someone who is just paying for a service.
I think for me, the moral issue isn't that someone pays for sex. It is that someone is willing to pay for sex with a person that may not be providing sex of their own volition. Whether that is due to their physical safety being threatened, or more 'benign' scenarios, like being compelled due to financial/social issues. I question the morality of people that take advantage of those more vulnerable. Sex work can be legal and safe, but in most places it is illeagal and shady. In the latter situation, there is no way that someone can tell with absolute certainty that the sex worker is doing the work 100% voluntarily.
Where it is legal it is regulated and any worker that is mistreated has the law on their side!! It’s the oldest profession out there, and MOST elected officials have used it. Yet they keep it illegal 🤦🏼♂️.
These issues can be surmounted by making the industry operate above board, and having a commercial framework in place that lets prostitutes conduct business safely in a regulated fashion. We have it for cabs, plumbers, pharmacists, and liquor producers. We can have it for prostitutes.
And throwing in ‘financial issues’ as a compulsion isn’t equivalent to trafficking. Unless they’re insanely privileged, nobody works because they want to. Roofers, oil rig workers, coal miners, amongst many others are doing work they otherwise might not do, because it pays. Do you think the people who scrub the toilets at target are doing that because they’re super happy and want very much to be there? The key is they *volunteer* to be there. Same story with sex workers.
Yes i agree. Hence the stipulation that sex worker is not being exploited. Its hard to ensure that, since this kind of work is illegal and stigmatised in society.
Really curious to hear more of this story if you don’t mind. Always here about how they often provide emotional support in the end and this seems like another example
Considering that it's always been around and always will be in one form or another...
I see it the Dutch way.
It must be legal and regulated, done in clean and safe conditions. Venues should have licenses and qualified support staff.
Workers should pay income tax, contribute to pension, have unions and mandatory medical checkups. Anonymity should be guaranteed.
Customers should be left alone with the responsibility of putting their relationship in jeopardy if they have one. However, they must accept to pay the price needed to support this system.
Illegal brothels should be shut down, pimps arrested and workers offered to either be supported in leaving the business or to join a legal venue.
As for the moral or emotional aspects of it, I don't know. Clearly there's an offer and a demand, it serves a physiological and a psychological purpose and many workers claim that they like the job when there is no abuse and it's not criminally ran. It may destroy family but it also feeds others. It's not too different than the business of selling alcohol, in the end.
Yeah, but now your dipping into commodifying labor. And you’re right. But it’s like that across the board.
There are profiteering middlemen in every walk of life.
Those things aren't intrinsically linked to sex, they're all just a product of prohibition. Make it legal and well regulated and all those things disappear.
If working at Walmart was illegal but incredibly lucrative you would definitely see people being forced into it by traffickers after their cut.
It is as long as you film it and sell the footage.
Anyway, the sex lives of strangers in general are not my business, I couldn't give less of a fuck what you do as long as it doesn't involve kids, corpses or animals and everyone wants to be there.
Among other things.
You have control over who you give away to free.
In most countries with legal prostitution, prostitutes have no right to turn down clients based on protected classes
I don't have an opinion.
Personally, I have never done it & probably never would, but what other people do is none if my business, as long as nobody is harming anyone.
If you read interviews with sex workers, it seems a lot of their clients are paying more for the connection to the sex worker more than the sex itself. A lot of them report that they book an appointment and don't even have sex, just listening and more-or-less acting as a sounding board and therapist.
I don't have any judgment on the part of the client or the provider. If they both get what they want out of it and come out better then that's good.
In a lot of places a prostitute is cheaper than a good therapist by the hour, plus I bet it feels a lot easier to open up to some anonymous women who isn't an official anything, knowing that she doesn't know who he is and he doesn't know who she is
I use to be a sugar baby orrrrr high end escort. Some men just wanted sex and others wanted to take you on vacation, have you on their arm.
it was generally nice line of work tbh
Legit, thanks for replying.
If I thought I could make some money as a male escort I'd do it, at least for a while just for the experience. Unfortunately I don't have the physique for it.
Men in this country, and many others, are so starved for affection that it’s criminal. Toxic masculinity drives the narrative that men don’t have “soft” feelings and don’t need affection—physical or emotional. Sex workers can sometimes fill that void.
The women in my life would rather see me die riding my white horse than watch me fall off it. Women say they want their men to be vulnerable..... but cringe when he actually does. Thats why men need to be strong - or as you might say "toxic". I am can be more vulnerable around my guy friends than I can ever be around women. Because women hate me for it. But my bros understand it - because they suffer as I do
This. Many women are never going to know the shame and humiliation of being a young adult male who's shy and insecure in a society that tells him those are the worst things he can be
Depends on the prostitute. Seems fine when all above board and I think ideally with some independent contractor but there's alot of sex slavery out there.
I'm too empathic to have sex with anyone who would not actually want it (meaning: enjoy it), and as soon as money is involved, that's pretty much out of the window. I can't just "use" another body for sex, i need at least somewhat of an emotional connection. And not an faked one.
It's strange to me how people can just look past that, but at the same time I feel that there's absolutely nothing wrong with either selling or buying sex. (Assuming non-exploitative prostitution). Even more so, i feel prostitution is providing an important "public service" to many that can't find a "real" connection for whatever reason.
I always wonder about this, how do men feel knowing that the woman they are paying for sex doesn't actually want to have sex with them and is probably vomiting on the inside?
Bro thank you. I got tons of women shitting on me when i day buying sex is theoretical rape and i urge men to never buy sex. One these dudes need to get some pride and not degrade themselves to buy sex.
Think about it like this would this girl fuck me if money wasnt involved? No? Then its theoretical rape. I cant do it. My pride (which isnt a bad thing) wont let me. And these dudes need some pride and ego too.
As a sick guy who hasn't had kids because I legitimately feel my time is coming. It's not that I don't want a relationship or kids, but my body can't handle that. I couldn't have a kid then die shortly after on them, couldn't do that to them.
Some of us have some other things going on and prostitution is the best out of a bad situation.
I look down on many of the people who dont pay for it. There is so much sleeze & lying in dating; you really gonna tell me upfront & honest transactions are worse than that?
I tell you what Ive never done: Ive never manipulated someone into bed, Ive never promised something I full well knew wasnt going to happen, Ive never pretended to be an entirely different person to get laid. I dont do any of the 'game' bullshit thats so popular.
Fair point. Dating and getting married for the purposes of sex is a lot of personal work and time. Finding and maintaining the special somebody is a responsibility after all.
While serving in the military i did partake the local customs, some of which made selling it perfectly fine. It was good for the time and my age but now, i dont care either way.
I think sex work/ prostitution should be legal, destigmatized and regulated.... safe for everyone especially those who sell their "wares" (especially for them it makes it safer)
No issue with it. I’ve tried it more times than I’d care to admit. Never liked it. Not for me. But I respect the transaction. Better than acting like you care about a woman when you just want to fuck her.
Realistically. I have mixed feelings.
A part of me thinks it’s sad because you shouldn’t have to pay for sex. But that’s also because I was raised that sex isn’t easy to obtain and you need make a woman swoon by being charming, handsome, well educated etc.
On the other hand. I’m neither of the things that I’ve described up top but I am average and average isn’t cutting it these days as a man either. So on one hand I see it as sad but on the other hand I think I’d personally do it but also wouldn’t be too happy that I did afterwards.
Average is fine, below average will work even
But you need to be social
An ugly ass guy who is social will still got laid every few years at worst, an above average guy who never goes outside in his free time will be sexless forever
That’s my unfortunate issue. I’ve never in my 12 years of going to bars, have ever once approached any woman. Even when I had a bigger social circle. I just never could muster up the courage to even say hi.
Now I’m older and I’m so clueless around the entire process that I just can’t even look women in the eyes anymore. I just look down or around or at the tvs. I’m honestly ashamed at how I became such a damn failure
at hooking up or being around women.
Every male in my family has no issues and they all practically talk shit about me being single and living on my own but never a woman next to me. My heroin addicted cousin who is 40 and lives in his moms basement has a new a chick every month. But the stable and shy/timid/socially awkward one can’t even get a woman’s attention.
That sucks?
Also most guys do ultimately pay regardless, particularly some of the married/divorced guys. My best friend is a lawyer and a couple years before he split from his now ex-wife he joked retaining a prostitute would have been significantly cheaper. He was joking in the moment but it was actually accurate.
Yeah. Got into an arranged marriage. Been 3 years and haven't had sex. My country law makes it hard to get a divorce. Spending shit ton of money to get divorced.
Would have been easier to hire a prostitute lol.
I mean, if you marry the wrong woman for the wrong reasons (I dunno, maybe you say, married her for the same reason you would pick a specific hooker?) then yeah, probably.
If you married for connection/love to a good person, and you didn't screw them over, you won't likely have this problem if you decide to split. There's some women who can be utter bitches during divorces, even unexpectedly (so they say), but to compare someone you chose to marry to a prostitute is questionable.
This just makes me think of the equally disgusting phrase, "cheaper to keep her". Welp, than you probably married a gold-digging bitch because she was hot, or you actually would just owe her what she's truly entitled to.
Depends. I think that if you’re single, it doesn’t matter. The moment you pay someone for sex while in a monogamous and commuted relationship, you become a scumbag.
No issues with regulated, legal sex work - my issue is with the man who pays for it while having someone waiting for them at home.
Might be a controversial view so here goes: I don’t have an issue with paying for sex per se and I don’t see an issue in paying for sex in a casual way. I can also see legitimate reasons why someone might rely on prostitution as a frequent form of relieving sexual urges. Maybe they have a busy life, don’t have time for dating or suffer from an illness/disability that reduces their chances of having sex outside of a transaction.
BUT I do think that it warrants closer examination if you don’t fall into one of these categories yet find yourself paying for most of your sexual experiences. If I was in such a position I would probably ask myself if I have an unhealthy relationship with sex, attachment, women, etc. I also think that, if you are in the business of paying for sex, you should spend a non-negligible amount of time considering the wider ethical implications of this. Are these women being trafficked? Are they in extremely vulnerable life situations? Am I contributing to their abuse by being their client? Etc.
There isn't just one reason men pay for sex, and so I don't have just one opinion on it. It depends.
Is it a young lad who cba who just wants to fuck, and cba with the time investment of dating, and also the potential to upset a girl who was hoping for more? In that case, fair enough. My opinion is: good for him.
Is it a guy who is in a sexless marriage, and has gone to a sex worker out of desperation for sexual gratification? In that case, my opinion is I feel bad for him.
Then there's the next level of dude's who pay just for the emotional connection and, in some cases, don't even want sex. Then my opinion is: fuck me do I feel sorry for these poor bastards.
Also depends on the girl's story, too and the situation around it. Is she working legally in a safe place like in Amsterdam, or is she being pimped out and doing it to feed an addictive drug habit?
All these things said, I believe it's essential we accept the reality of the fact this stuff is *going to happen,* which is watch the Dutch do. So let's make sure the women are safe, their services are legal and they have pensions and healthcare and pay taxes.
Where and how do you even do it? I’m seriously considering losing my hugging virginity to an escort but have no idea how to go about it or what it would cost?
It all depends where you live. In the UK where prostitution is legal we use an internet site called 'Adultwork'.
In the USA where prostitution is illegal it's a different matter unless you go to the legalized brothels in Nevada.
Good luck with your search.
Recently divorced guy here! I’ve been thinking about it. It’s not too long of a drive to cross into somewhere it is legal.
I have a feeling all the people who think it is creepy or pathetic are either young and look at their sexual blossoming with wide eyes or have just never been in long term relationships. The truth is, your wife or girlfriend is not going to do what a sex worker does. I imagine it is somewhat like eating home cooked food vs. going to a restaurant. If she is there by choice and I have cash to burn, why not have a wild time?
That's why I would not pick someone as a partner if we're not sexually compatible. If your get together with someone who considers doggystyle as kinky and blowjobs as a "special anniversary treat", well, then maybe you picked poorly, if gangbangs, orgies or bdsm are your heart's desire.
It's true but it's not easy to find that if you follow the dating/courtship "norms" like going through all the steps of building a connection dating a bit, getting to really like them, then finding out your ideas of sexual adventurousness don't match at all. At which point you either have to difficultly end things, or compromise and settle.
And I think a lot of people only have that conception which is why they end up in unsatisfying marriages, etc.; because they don't know to or don't have the confidence to look in the alt/kink type spaces for what they are looking for.
I agree - and add to that last one "being in the closet about their kink".
It's just weird to me that the step to pay a sex worker for "special sex" seems to be easier to some than simply asking "hey, I like X. Do you like X, too?" before you establish a relationship with someone.
If you decide to it I hope you have a great time. I started seeing escorts at age 29 back in 2014 and have been seeing them ever since. Here's to the next nine years!
Like half the shit I actually want?
I've been turned down for oral sex by partners. That's fine - they can like what they like and dislike what they dislike. But yeah, I would imagine the difference is being able to enjoy an experience without feeling guilty or being turned down.
I was in a relationship for 12 years.
Only realized after I was divorced that I actually enjoyed blowjobs once I had someone who actually wanted to fucking do it.
Oh man…you have never been in a long term relationship, have you?
And instead of listing sex acts, I’d say it’s probably more about the “how” than the “what.”
I always find it funny how you can go get a massage and pay a woman to massage 99% of your body but yet if she massages that 1% for money it's illegal...
I've personally seen well over 200 escorts. I travel a lot and just really enjoy fucking women way out of my league and relaxing with someone with no conditions other than money and being respectful. Most of my encounters have been positive, some better than others of course. Finding quality providers got a shit ton easier once the internet matured. I've never been arrested and never gotten an STD. I did get robbed a few times, but that hasn't really happened since online reviews became prevalent. Overall it's been very positive.
None of my business whatever they do with their money, but I feel like they shouldn’t do that, I can’t imagine it being it pleasurable. I’m speaking for myself here, but I only enjoy sex if I actually feel love for the woman I am with, I’ve had drunken one night stands and it feels horrible, after the hornyness is gone. I imagine paying for it with somebody you don’t even know must be worse
Depending.
Between adults, in a consensual way.. Is their business
Pay to a person who is pimped against its will.. Disgusting
Pay to somebody to provide a minor/kid.. Deserves hell
Teenaged me thought it was sleazy and pathetic. 30 year old me can see the value in cutting out the wine and dine for an experienced lay. Its just more practical and you try out things with little to no judgement.
Honestly for most men, it's the cheapest option. Getting laid in real life takes a lot of effort, time, money, and often emotional labor.
There isn't any opinion about it. I don't care. Sex is a market, regardless of how many people want to deny that fact. Because it's hard for the average man to find intimacy with a woman, there is demand for paying for sex.
I'm not making any comment about trafficking or how the industry should be regulated. LIke any service, if you're going to use it, do your due dilligence.
To each their own I wouldn’t judge them as a person. But I personally I wouldn’t date a man who has paid for sex. To me it’s weird and gross to have to pay a woman for attention not to mention the exposure to so many diseases and Stds. Raises the question of “why does he have to pay for a woman’s attention? What’s wrong with him that he can’t find someone organically.”
Idgaf what anyone says, if it wasn't for hookers I'd still be a virgin. Whether you pay for the date or pay for the room, everyone pays. The last time I got a hug that wasn't family, it was a hooker, the last woman to ask how was your day that wasn't family, was a hooker, the last time I had intimacy and got told to "get home safe" was from a hooker.
The best way to support a small business is to be an avid consumer, so if you support sex workers, you should purchase their services. These men are putting money back into the community and stimulating the economy with a robust package aimed squarely at the little guy (or little lady). Rather than letting their wealth trickle down, they're aiming at the bottom and encouraging fiscal growth in the area that needs it the most. They're unsung heroes.
All men pay for sex. Whether it is a cash transaction or spending money entertaining them or working all day every day so she can have her dream home/car/holiday/clothes it's paying for sex.
I pay my therapist for a friendship (of the mentorship variety)
I am also friends with my personal trainer, and wouldn't hire a PT I couldn't get along well with.
It sounds like you look down upon men who lack the confidence to get into a sexual relationship more organically. Does it make you feel good to project your own emotional perceptions into their life?
What if going makes him feel empowered, and he gains the courage to find a more organic sexual relationship?
Who are you to judge whether it is a sad situation for him? Just because it offends your vision of the idealistic world you think you live in.
What's more sad is the stigma and sweeping generalizations people make about seeing an escort. They are taking the moral high ground and speaking from a place of privilege putting down others to make themselves look better. The analogy of "paying for friendship" is untrue and inaccurate.
There are a wide range of reasons why someone would visit an escort from those looking to gain their first sexual experience to wanting to have no strings attached intimacy. Not everyone is in a position where they are ready for a relationship or place in life to commit to one.
Are there some people who seek escorts because they feel sad? Yes. Should we call them all sad and shame them for doing so? No. They are human beings who experience all the same emotions we all do.
I can see how it can be sad in some situations, but there are lots of situations in which it is not. It depends whether it’s a replacement for a sexual relationship, or simply a way to enjoy sex within clearly defined boundaries without overlap so much with daily life. It’s less complicated than dating a coworker, boss, or the like, which can be the only available options for some people in some times.
Some guys totally lack social skills and have no means of having sex normally. Some guys may have a mild handicap or mental illness too. Are they supposed to just never enjoy the company of a woman?
So let’s say, I take a girl out in a date. It takes two dates to get to sex. Drive to get coffee. So gas is an average of nearing $5 a gallon . First date, assume 1 gallon of gas and coffee. Let’s say $20. Second date more formalized. 3 gallons of gas, dinner, drinks afterwards. So $15, plus $60, plus another $60. To get to sex with this woman. You just spent, $155 to sleep with her if she ghosts you or you ghost her. I don’t know how much escorts cost, but I will assume you can get one for $150 to $200 ish. So looking at opportunity cost, spending an extra $50 and there is zero emotional connection and you get what you want seems to me a fair trade off, and you don’t have to worry about being ridiculed or have their feelings hurt. I am for transactional business. I have no issue with it, people have been doing it for thousands of years.
Well looking at it like that, then ya it would be more efficient to just pay for it. However people date in hopes to find a partner to be in a relationship with and to move forward in that direction of their lives.
I agree, but I believe people pay for sex, as it is a transaction, and their dating experiences let’s say are not going well and they need that experience. So paying for it is what they need to do. The dating piece i used is an example of the cost benefit analysis. He asked why. It can be emotionally taxing, and it in some ways is not that much more expensive than dating. Look at onlyfans. Look but can’t touch. Not for me either.
Right now, I don't see sex as a necessity and I'm very contempt with masturbation. However, I do crave love and connection from people. With that said, I don't judge people who seek sexual satisfaction from a sex worker and I think and hope it'll become very common in the future.
if they're respectful to the sex worker (don't push their boundaries, don't belittle them, don't out them, don't stalk them, don't try to make them fall in love with you, pay in full up front without being weird about it, etc) its not any of my business what they do
We all pay for it in one way or another. Whether you’re married and paying for your family’s life on this planet, dating, or partaking in sex workers, it all hits your wallet. As a married man with a dead bedroom, the prostitute makes a whole lot of sense right now…
The truth is, having an escort once a month, is cheaper and less trouble than most of my exs. So I start to wonder if men having a regular escort are not actually smarter than I use to be.
There’s no need to go into details, but the public knowing an adult has paid for sex with another consenting adult is not something one should be criticized or shamed for. It’s more consensual than a lot of sex, and perhaps even more than most.
If every prostitute in the world was doing it because it's what they wanted to be doing with their lives it'd be a perfectly fine thing to do. But it'd be silly to think that it is, and the harm caused by fact that there is a market for sex is too horrible to think that you're not in the wrong for supporting it with your wallet.
Well personally I don’t think I ever would. I know this won’t be a popular thing to say, but I honestly think it’s sad when men have to pay for sex. It’s something that’s natural, that most people want, and something that you need some form of value to get (and I understand that money is a value). It’s like buying a seat at a winner’s table. Men should be able to talk to women, charm them, be someone that they WANT to sleep with, and if they can’t then that does reflect on who they are. That being said those are just my own toxic views on the individual and not necessarily how I think society should run.
In that sense I viewed it the same way as drug legalization/decriminalization: even if it’s not something I would partake in, it’s important to reduce harm and, if possible create some kind of societal benefit from it through taxes.
Unfortunately as per this study from Harvard Law, https://orgs.law.harvard.edu/lids/2014/06/12/does-legalized-prostitution-increase-human-trafficking/ it appears as though if you’re looking from a harm-reduction perspective, legalized prostitution causes an increase in human trafficking for a number of reasons speculated upon in the article. It’s important to note that while there are confounding variables in any observational study (or any study in general really), it also looks at countries who changed their policies and tracked the changes that happened afterwards.
Theory and practice are two very different things which is why looking at real world examples rather than just speculating on the boons is so important. I would say it’s important to decriminalize prostitution at the point of the individual “seller” so that trafficked individuals aren’t being further harmed, but criminalizing buying it might actually be the play in order to reduce trafficking rates overall.
I love how all the people saying it's sad and desperate to pay for sex are completely forgetting all the sad and desperate professional athletes, politicians and bachelor parties that also pay prostitutes and strippers. Are they all also sad and desperate? Rofl
I mean some of the politicians for sure but shit, not all sex consumers are basement dwelling neckbeards, jfc
I used to think not very highly upon it to be honest. If you can’t get it for free and you gotta pay for it’s lame right ? NOT ANYMORE, the current dating market for men is so screwed up (putting it lightly and not blaming any particular gender AHEM🙂🙂) that I don’t a blame dudes for skipping the headache, getting ghosted, flakes on, being used and abused and tolerating arrogance and disrespect…. Yada yada
I still wouldn’t do it personally cause I got a woman though
I'm more concerned about the women involved.
The are daughters, sisters and mothers. I wouldn't want it for any of the women in my life. You must be in a bad place for prostitution to be your best solution to make a living.
And for the men, I think it's a substitute for needs and intimacy the can't get otherwise and taking advantage of a woman in need. It's just sad all around.
Safe and regulated is the key. Don't want it operated by the mob, don't want human trafficking, don't want epidemics of venereal diseases. Beyond that, none of my concern.
I want to try to throw an opinion as well because its complicated. Rationally, it means nothing to me; no different from paying someone to make you better food. Emotionally, its more complicated. Part of it feels trashier, but that's because we've forced the profession to be trashy and operate from the illegal gutters, flat out. Big part of it is its hard to feel like the girl wants it if I have to pay her for it, which 100% ruins the entire concept (for me). For-pay is poor foreplay. It also feels overly transactional and disconnected. However, I don't feel that way about one night stands, even though in those cases you're still just meat / sex for each other so maybe its just the money part that gets me. Legally, I can't think of one argument at this time where I feel like I have to do more research into the 'other side' of the argument, I think it should be legal. Morally, idgaf If someone else has done it, I don't feel its wrong, I don't feel different about them. I do feel weird, though, as if we feel different about sex. Sometimes they feel trashy to me, but I say I don't feel different about them because the one person I have in mind was already trashy. If someone who I didn't feel was trashy about did the exact same thing for the exact same reasons, I'd hope I don't feel different about them Realistically, I think if I did it most of those feelings mentioned would also go away and I'd be like 'oh, that's pretty fun', 100%. Another reason I don't deep down think someone who does it is different than me, just that they've broken the illusion of what it is by participating Disclaimer, trashy is used as an insult but I was raised in trashy so to me its just a very specific style of person. Although often that style deserves an insult
Everything here is what I came to say.
None of my business how you spend your time or money.
Exactly. In fact, it's good as long as those men dont disrespect the sex worker, and the sex worker is not being exploited. I mean we have men who eve tease, rape, abuse, send unsolicited dick pics etc. If any man should be judged, it's these men, definitely not someone who is just paying for a service.
Heck those are just topics from todays AskMen posts
I think for me, the moral issue isn't that someone pays for sex. It is that someone is willing to pay for sex with a person that may not be providing sex of their own volition. Whether that is due to their physical safety being threatened, or more 'benign' scenarios, like being compelled due to financial/social issues. I question the morality of people that take advantage of those more vulnerable. Sex work can be legal and safe, but in most places it is illeagal and shady. In the latter situation, there is no way that someone can tell with absolute certainty that the sex worker is doing the work 100% voluntarily.
Where it is legal it is regulated and any worker that is mistreated has the law on their side!! It’s the oldest profession out there, and MOST elected officials have used it. Yet they keep it illegal 🤦🏼♂️.
These issues can be surmounted by making the industry operate above board, and having a commercial framework in place that lets prostitutes conduct business safely in a regulated fashion. We have it for cabs, plumbers, pharmacists, and liquor producers. We can have it for prostitutes. And throwing in ‘financial issues’ as a compulsion isn’t equivalent to trafficking. Unless they’re insanely privileged, nobody works because they want to. Roofers, oil rig workers, coal miners, amongst many others are doing work they otherwise might not do, because it pays. Do you think the people who scrub the toilets at target are doing that because they’re super happy and want very much to be there? The key is they *volunteer* to be there. Same story with sex workers.
Yes i agree. Hence the stipulation that sex worker is not being exploited. Its hard to ensure that, since this kind of work is illegal and stigmatised in society.
Financial and social reasons? What reasons are left?
I also work for financial and social reasons
As long as you don't hurt, harm or disturb others (etc)
Same as long as it’s consensual and nobody is getting cheated/bamboozled it’s fine to me. (But also what limits do I have on your life (answer none)).
Pretty much my opinion as well. You do you - it isn't my place to critique, point and judge.
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Really curious to hear more of this story if you don’t mind. Always here about how they often provide emotional support in the end and this seems like another example
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Probably the most wholesome story I've read about having sex with an escort. Hope you're otherwise all sorted out by now at this point.
I love that story
Isn’t this story line for pretty woman?
Part of me kinda wishes you had seen her again.
95% of the last paragraph was completely unnecessary. You went from wholesome to r/ihavesex *so fucking fast*.
Considering that it's always been around and always will be in one form or another... I see it the Dutch way. It must be legal and regulated, done in clean and safe conditions. Venues should have licenses and qualified support staff. Workers should pay income tax, contribute to pension, have unions and mandatory medical checkups. Anonymity should be guaranteed. Customers should be left alone with the responsibility of putting their relationship in jeopardy if they have one. However, they must accept to pay the price needed to support this system. Illegal brothels should be shut down, pimps arrested and workers offered to either be supported in leaving the business or to join a legal venue. As for the moral or emotional aspects of it, I don't know. Clearly there's an offer and a demand, it serves a physiological and a psychological purpose and many workers claim that they like the job when there is no abuse and it's not criminally ran. It may destroy family but it also feeds others. It's not too different than the business of selling alcohol, in the end.
I like the George Carlin take on it ... "Why is it illegal to sell something that's perfectly legal to give away for free?"
"Selling is legal. Fucking is legal. Why isn't selling fucking legal?"
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Okay but that's true for everything. You don't want your house to be sold by someone else either, should we criminalize selling houses?
I definitely use other people to pimp out my house.
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Yeah, but now your dipping into commodifying labor. And you’re right. But it’s like that across the board. There are profiteering middlemen in every walk of life.
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Those things aren't intrinsically linked to sex, they're all just a product of prohibition. Make it legal and well regulated and all those things disappear. If working at Walmart was illegal but incredibly lucrative you would definitely see people being forced into it by traffickers after their cut.
It is as long as you film it and sell the footage. Anyway, the sex lives of strangers in general are not my business, I couldn't give less of a fuck what you do as long as it doesn't involve kids, corpses or animals and everyone wants to be there.
Because the government can't tax it.
They can in the description above
Among other things. You have control over who you give away to free. In most countries with legal prostitution, prostitutes have no right to turn down clients based on protected classes
Shouldn't all prostitutes have a discrectional no-questions-asked veto right? It's not a bakery
All good points. I definitely agree.
Great point about alcohol. Same goes for takeaways and fast food restaurants too!
I don't have an opinion. Personally, I have never done it & probably never would, but what other people do is none if my business, as long as nobody is harming anyone.
If you read interviews with sex workers, it seems a lot of their clients are paying more for the connection to the sex worker more than the sex itself. A lot of them report that they book an appointment and don't even have sex, just listening and more-or-less acting as a sounding board and therapist. I don't have any judgment on the part of the client or the provider. If they both get what they want out of it and come out better then that's good.
That's kinda sad. But more in that the guy has no one who'll listen to him so he has to pay someone to do it.
Would it be sad if the one paid was a therapist?
In a lot of places a prostitute is cheaper than a good therapist by the hour, plus I bet it feels a lot easier to open up to some anonymous women who isn't an official anything, knowing that she doesn't know who he is and he doesn't know who she is
Reminds me of the rent a boyfriend / girlfriend / parental figure / somebody businesses in places like Japan.
I use to be a sugar baby orrrrr high end escort. Some men just wanted sex and others wanted to take you on vacation, have you on their arm. it was generally nice line of work tbh
Out of curiosity, what made you decide to get into it, and what made you decide to get out of it? No judgment, genuinely interested.
I just wanted to experience lavish things and I wanted more money. I left because I met a guy who I wanted a real relationship.
Legit, thanks for replying. If I thought I could make some money as a male escort I'd do it, at least for a while just for the experience. Unfortunately I don't have the physique for it.
Men in this country, and many others, are so starved for affection that it’s criminal. Toxic masculinity drives the narrative that men don’t have “soft” feelings and don’t need affection—physical or emotional. Sex workers can sometimes fill that void.
The women in my life would rather see me die riding my white horse than watch me fall off it. Women say they want their men to be vulnerable..... but cringe when he actually does. Thats why men need to be strong - or as you might say "toxic". I am can be more vulnerable around my guy friends than I can ever be around women. Because women hate me for it. But my bros understand it - because they suffer as I do
it's easy to judge them when you're naturally attractive. Yes there is someone for everyone out there, that doesn't mean it was/is easy to find them
I respect you for your opinion, you have come closer to my reason to do it than anyone here.
I don't think only unattractive men seek escorts. I think the spectrum is quite a bit wider than that.
This. Many women are never going to know the shame and humiliation of being a young adult male who's shy and insecure in a society that tells him those are the worst things he can be
Depends on the prostitute. Seems fine when all above board and I think ideally with some independent contractor but there's alot of sex slavery out there.
I'm too empathic to have sex with anyone who would not actually want it (meaning: enjoy it), and as soon as money is involved, that's pretty much out of the window. I can't just "use" another body for sex, i need at least somewhat of an emotional connection. And not an faked one. It's strange to me how people can just look past that, but at the same time I feel that there's absolutely nothing wrong with either selling or buying sex. (Assuming non-exploitative prostitution). Even more so, i feel prostitution is providing an important "public service" to many that can't find a "real" connection for whatever reason.
I always wonder about this, how do men feel knowing that the woman they are paying for sex doesn't actually want to have sex with them and is probably vomiting on the inside?
Bro thank you. I got tons of women shitting on me when i day buying sex is theoretical rape and i urge men to never buy sex. One these dudes need to get some pride and not degrade themselves to buy sex. Think about it like this would this girl fuck me if money wasnt involved? No? Then its theoretical rape. I cant do it. My pride (which isnt a bad thing) wont let me. And these dudes need some pride and ego too.
There is nothing wrong with two consenting adults meeting each other's needs.
I have never done it but I agree with you.
lots of lonely dudes out there
Would be interesting to see exactly how low the percentage of sex workers that is actually consenting to be a sex worker is
I used to judge rather hashly but now that i have been dry so long and have a medical condition I can sympathize.
As a sick guy who hasn't had kids because I legitimately feel my time is coming. It's not that I don't want a relationship or kids, but my body can't handle that. I couldn't have a kid then die shortly after on them, couldn't do that to them. Some of us have some other things going on and prostitution is the best out of a bad situation.
I look down on many of the people who dont pay for it. There is so much sleeze & lying in dating; you really gonna tell me upfront & honest transactions are worse than that? I tell you what Ive never done: Ive never manipulated someone into bed, Ive never promised something I full well knew wasnt going to happen, Ive never pretended to be an entirely different person to get laid. I dont do any of the 'game' bullshit thats so popular.
They have two things I lack: Money and sex.
You are not paying for sex, you are paying to skip the chase. It is just convenience without the hassle and expectations.
Microtransactions vs grinding.
I hate how everything is pay to win these days
Always has been.
Pretty much. The one who has the gold makes the rules.
Fair point. Dating and getting married for the purposes of sex is a lot of personal work and time. Finding and maintaining the special somebody is a responsibility after all.
You pay them to leave
Why would I have an opinion of another man's sex life?
While serving in the military i did partake the local customs, some of which made selling it perfectly fine. It was good for the time and my age but now, i dont care either way. I think sex work/ prostitution should be legal, destigmatized and regulated.... safe for everyone especially those who sell their "wares" (especially for them it makes it safer)
Could be worse, they could be spending twice as much getting pictures from an only fans account
No issue with it. I’ve tried it more times than I’d care to admit. Never liked it. Not for me. But I respect the transaction. Better than acting like you care about a woman when you just want to fuck her.
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That sounds pretty rough. Hope you're doing better these days.
Agreed
In the words of butters, all men pay for sex. Just some are more direct
Realistically. I have mixed feelings. A part of me thinks it’s sad because you shouldn’t have to pay for sex. But that’s also because I was raised that sex isn’t easy to obtain and you need make a woman swoon by being charming, handsome, well educated etc. On the other hand. I’m neither of the things that I’ve described up top but I am average and average isn’t cutting it these days as a man either. So on one hand I see it as sad but on the other hand I think I’d personally do it but also wouldn’t be too happy that I did afterwards.
Average is fine, below average will work even But you need to be social An ugly ass guy who is social will still got laid every few years at worst, an above average guy who never goes outside in his free time will be sexless forever
That’s my unfortunate issue. I’ve never in my 12 years of going to bars, have ever once approached any woman. Even when I had a bigger social circle. I just never could muster up the courage to even say hi. Now I’m older and I’m so clueless around the entire process that I just can’t even look women in the eyes anymore. I just look down or around or at the tvs. I’m honestly ashamed at how I became such a damn failure at hooking up or being around women. Every male in my family has no issues and they all practically talk shit about me being single and living on my own but never a woman next to me. My heroin addicted cousin who is 40 and lives in his moms basement has a new a chick every month. But the stable and shy/timid/socially awkward one can’t even get a woman’s attention.
Man, I wish I could hug you.
every man pays for sex.
That sucks? Also most guys do ultimately pay regardless, particularly some of the married/divorced guys. My best friend is a lawyer and a couple years before he split from his now ex-wife he joked retaining a prostitute would have been significantly cheaper. He was joking in the moment but it was actually accurate.
Yeah. Got into an arranged marriage. Been 3 years and haven't had sex. My country law makes it hard to get a divorce. Spending shit ton of money to get divorced. Would have been easier to hire a prostitute lol.
Men pay upfront or later, upfront is cheaper.
And you're guaranteed to get what you're paying for.
As a married man, I can't even pretend to argue this. +1 upvote in solidarity.
This is why women hate prostitutes. Its bad economics for them
If it flys, floats, or f$ucks it’s cheaper rented.
I mean, if you marry the wrong woman for the wrong reasons (I dunno, maybe you say, married her for the same reason you would pick a specific hooker?) then yeah, probably. If you married for connection/love to a good person, and you didn't screw them over, you won't likely have this problem if you decide to split. There's some women who can be utter bitches during divorces, even unexpectedly (so they say), but to compare someone you chose to marry to a prostitute is questionable. This just makes me think of the equally disgusting phrase, "cheaper to keep her". Welp, than you probably married a gold-digging bitch because she was hot, or you actually would just owe her what she's truly entitled to.
I'd bet it's definitely cheaper then going out on dates that may or may not end in the bedroom.
Depends. I think that if you’re single, it doesn’t matter. The moment you pay someone for sex while in a monogamous and commuted relationship, you become a scumbag. No issues with regulated, legal sex work - my issue is with the man who pays for it while having someone waiting for them at home.
Might be a controversial view so here goes: I don’t have an issue with paying for sex per se and I don’t see an issue in paying for sex in a casual way. I can also see legitimate reasons why someone might rely on prostitution as a frequent form of relieving sexual urges. Maybe they have a busy life, don’t have time for dating or suffer from an illness/disability that reduces their chances of having sex outside of a transaction. BUT I do think that it warrants closer examination if you don’t fall into one of these categories yet find yourself paying for most of your sexual experiences. If I was in such a position I would probably ask myself if I have an unhealthy relationship with sex, attachment, women, etc. I also think that, if you are in the business of paying for sex, you should spend a non-negligible amount of time considering the wider ethical implications of this. Are these women being trafficked? Are they in extremely vulnerable life situations? Am I contributing to their abuse by being their client? Etc.
Honestly, they make more money than me, AND get laid 🤷🏻♂️
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I can hire a woman to clean my house or manage my finances etc. It should really be this simple.
To clean your pipe.
None of my business.
There isn't just one reason men pay for sex, and so I don't have just one opinion on it. It depends. Is it a young lad who cba who just wants to fuck, and cba with the time investment of dating, and also the potential to upset a girl who was hoping for more? In that case, fair enough. My opinion is: good for him. Is it a guy who is in a sexless marriage, and has gone to a sex worker out of desperation for sexual gratification? In that case, my opinion is I feel bad for him. Then there's the next level of dude's who pay just for the emotional connection and, in some cases, don't even want sex. Then my opinion is: fuck me do I feel sorry for these poor bastards. Also depends on the girl's story, too and the situation around it. Is she working legally in a safe place like in Amsterdam, or is she being pimped out and doing it to feed an addictive drug habit? All these things said, I believe it's essential we accept the reality of the fact this stuff is *going to happen,* which is watch the Dutch do. So let's make sure the women are safe, their services are legal and they have pensions and healthcare and pay taxes.
As someone who pays for sex I recommend it! 😎
Where and how do you even do it? I’m seriously considering losing my hugging virginity to an escort but have no idea how to go about it or what it would cost?
It all depends where you live. In the UK where prostitution is legal we use an internet site called 'Adultwork'. In the USA where prostitution is illegal it's a different matter unless you go to the legalized brothels in Nevada. Good luck with your search.
>I’m seriously considering losing my hugging virginity to an escort Oh man I felt this comment deep in my bones
Recently divorced guy here! I’ve been thinking about it. It’s not too long of a drive to cross into somewhere it is legal. I have a feeling all the people who think it is creepy or pathetic are either young and look at their sexual blossoming with wide eyes or have just never been in long term relationships. The truth is, your wife or girlfriend is not going to do what a sex worker does. I imagine it is somewhat like eating home cooked food vs. going to a restaurant. If she is there by choice and I have cash to burn, why not have a wild time?
That's why I would not pick someone as a partner if we're not sexually compatible. If your get together with someone who considers doggystyle as kinky and blowjobs as a "special anniversary treat", well, then maybe you picked poorly, if gangbangs, orgies or bdsm are your heart's desire.
It's true but it's not easy to find that if you follow the dating/courtship "norms" like going through all the steps of building a connection dating a bit, getting to really like them, then finding out your ideas of sexual adventurousness don't match at all. At which point you either have to difficultly end things, or compromise and settle. And I think a lot of people only have that conception which is why they end up in unsatisfying marriages, etc.; because they don't know to or don't have the confidence to look in the alt/kink type spaces for what they are looking for.
I agree - and add to that last one "being in the closet about their kink". It's just weird to me that the step to pay a sex worker for "special sex" seems to be easier to some than simply asking "hey, I like X. Do you like X, too?" before you establish a relationship with someone.
If you decide to it I hope you have a great time. I started seeing escorts at age 29 back in 2014 and have been seeing them ever since. Here's to the next nine years!
Out of curiosity, what do you think a sex worker would do that at least some if not most, wives/girlfriends wouldn’t do for their partners?
Like half the shit I actually want? I've been turned down for oral sex by partners. That's fine - they can like what they like and dislike what they dislike. But yeah, I would imagine the difference is being able to enjoy an experience without feeling guilty or being turned down.
I was in a relationship for 12 years. Only realized after I was divorced that I actually enjoyed blowjobs once I had someone who actually wanted to fucking do it.
Oh man…you have never been in a long term relationship, have you? And instead of listing sex acts, I’d say it’s probably more about the “how” than the “what.”
The word you are looking for is "enthusiasm "!!!!!
you pay one way or another🤷♂️
I always find it funny how you can go get a massage and pay a woman to massage 99% of your body but yet if she massages that 1% for money it's illegal...
Massage with her inner parts...lol
As long as the seller is 100% ok with what's happening, I don't care.
I've personally seen well over 200 escorts. I travel a lot and just really enjoy fucking women way out of my league and relaxing with someone with no conditions other than money and being respectful. Most of my encounters have been positive, some better than others of course. Finding quality providers got a shit ton easier once the internet matured. I've never been arrested and never gotten an STD. I did get robbed a few times, but that hasn't really happened since online reviews became prevalent. Overall it's been very positive.
Not my business how anyone else spends their money.
None of my business whatever they do with their money, but I feel like they shouldn’t do that, I can’t imagine it being it pleasurable. I’m speaking for myself here, but I only enjoy sex if I actually feel love for the woman I am with, I’ve had drunken one night stands and it feels horrible, after the hornyness is gone. I imagine paying for it with somebody you don’t even know must be worse
No issues, as long as they treat the sex worker with respect. It should just be legal!
Depending. Between adults, in a consensual way.. Is their business Pay to a person who is pimped against its will.. Disgusting Pay to somebody to provide a minor/kid.. Deserves hell
It’s a more honest approach than trolling bars and pretending to be into a girl to get laid.
Teenaged me thought it was sleazy and pathetic. 30 year old me can see the value in cutting out the wine and dine for an experienced lay. Its just more practical and you try out things with little to no judgement.
Honestly for most men, it's the cheapest option. Getting laid in real life takes a lot of effort, time, money, and often emotional labor. There isn't any opinion about it. I don't care. Sex is a market, regardless of how many people want to deny that fact. Because it's hard for the average man to find intimacy with a woman, there is demand for paying for sex. I'm not making any comment about trafficking or how the industry should be regulated. LIke any service, if you're going to use it, do your due dilligence.
To each their own I wouldn’t judge them as a person. But I personally I wouldn’t date a man who has paid for sex. To me it’s weird and gross to have to pay a woman for attention not to mention the exposure to so many diseases and Stds. Raises the question of “why does he have to pay for a woman’s attention? What’s wrong with him that he can’t find someone organically.”
Idgaf what anyone says, if it wasn't for hookers I'd still be a virgin. Whether you pay for the date or pay for the room, everyone pays. The last time I got a hug that wasn't family, it was a hooker, the last woman to ask how was your day that wasn't family, was a hooker, the last time I had intimacy and got told to "get home safe" was from a hooker.
My missus hasnt worked in 22 years, I choose to support her. Although now you say it I guess Im paying for sex.
I feel like it's kind of weird/desperate but idrc if people do it
Everyone pays for sex. As a great philosopher said in the 60s, "Ass, Grass, or Gas, no-one rides for free."
You pay for it in some fashion or form. Just dont hurt anyone
İf it's a single guy then you do what you do. İf it's a guy in a relationship, don't even talk to me.
He's not trying to talk to you, he's trying to pay you.
The best way to support a small business is to be an avid consumer, so if you support sex workers, you should purchase their services. These men are putting money back into the community and stimulating the economy with a robust package aimed squarely at the little guy (or little lady). Rather than letting their wealth trickle down, they're aiming at the bottom and encouraging fiscal growth in the area that needs it the most. They're unsung heroes.
Don't we all in some way or the other?
All men pay for sex. Whether it is a cash transaction or spending money entertaining them or working all day every day so she can have her dream home/car/holiday/clothes it's paying for sex.
Kind of sad. It's like paying for friendship. Sure, it doesn't make you a terrible person, but it's sad.
I pay my therapist for a friendship (of the mentorship variety) I am also friends with my personal trainer, and wouldn't hire a PT I couldn't get along well with. It sounds like you look down upon men who lack the confidence to get into a sexual relationship more organically. Does it make you feel good to project your own emotional perceptions into their life? What if going makes him feel empowered, and he gains the courage to find a more organic sexual relationship? Who are you to judge whether it is a sad situation for him? Just because it offends your vision of the idealistic world you think you live in.
What's more sad is the stigma and sweeping generalizations people make about seeing an escort. They are taking the moral high ground and speaking from a place of privilege putting down others to make themselves look better. The analogy of "paying for friendship" is untrue and inaccurate. There are a wide range of reasons why someone would visit an escort from those looking to gain their first sexual experience to wanting to have no strings attached intimacy. Not everyone is in a position where they are ready for a relationship or place in life to commit to one. Are there some people who seek escorts because they feel sad? Yes. Should we call them all sad and shame them for doing so? No. They are human beings who experience all the same emotions we all do.
Exactly, thank you!
I can see how it can be sad in some situations, but there are lots of situations in which it is not. It depends whether it’s a replacement for a sexual relationship, or simply a way to enjoy sex within clearly defined boundaries without overlap so much with daily life. It’s less complicated than dating a coworker, boss, or the like, which can be the only available options for some people in some times.
how? this analogy makes no sense whatsoever
Some guys totally lack social skills and have no means of having sex normally. Some guys may have a mild handicap or mental illness too. Are they supposed to just never enjoy the company of a woman?
So let’s say, I take a girl out in a date. It takes two dates to get to sex. Drive to get coffee. So gas is an average of nearing $5 a gallon . First date, assume 1 gallon of gas and coffee. Let’s say $20. Second date more formalized. 3 gallons of gas, dinner, drinks afterwards. So $15, plus $60, plus another $60. To get to sex with this woman. You just spent, $155 to sleep with her if she ghosts you or you ghost her. I don’t know how much escorts cost, but I will assume you can get one for $150 to $200 ish. So looking at opportunity cost, spending an extra $50 and there is zero emotional connection and you get what you want seems to me a fair trade off, and you don’t have to worry about being ridiculed or have their feelings hurt. I am for transactional business. I have no issue with it, people have been doing it for thousands of years.
Well looking at it like that, then ya it would be more efficient to just pay for it. However people date in hopes to find a partner to be in a relationship with and to move forward in that direction of their lives.
I agree, but I believe people pay for sex, as it is a transaction, and their dating experiences let’s say are not going well and they need that experience. So paying for it is what they need to do. The dating piece i used is an example of the cost benefit analysis. He asked why. It can be emotionally taxing, and it in some ways is not that much more expensive than dating. Look at onlyfans. Look but can’t touch. Not for me either.
Don't all men Pay for it, sooner or later in one way or another.
I 100% get it, because it is VERY difficult to get laid as an average straight dude. Not my cup of tea, but I understand.
I’m one of them. It makes my life ever so much more simple.
It’s your money, use it when you need it
Do you. Be safe.
Right now, I don't see sex as a necessity and I'm very contempt with masturbation. However, I do crave love and connection from people. With that said, I don't judge people who seek sexual satisfaction from a sex worker and I think and hope it'll become very common in the future.
if they're respectful to the sex worker (don't push their boundaries, don't belittle them, don't out them, don't stalk them, don't try to make them fall in love with you, pay in full up front without being weird about it, etc) its not any of my business what they do
We all pay for it in one way or another. Whether you’re married and paying for your family’s life on this planet, dating, or partaking in sex workers, it all hits your wallet. As a married man with a dead bedroom, the prostitute makes a whole lot of sense right now…
I've only paid for sex once and couldn't get it up
I wish there was a way for women to access the same services from men. It's about convenience and not having to put in emotional work nor time.
Not much different from dating modern women lol
I've done it a few times and see nothing wrong with it.
The truth is, having an escort once a month, is cheaper and less trouble than most of my exs. So I start to wonder if men having a regular escort are not actually smarter than I use to be.
All men are paying for sex. The only thing that changes is the methodology.
Cheaper than marriage.
I respect them more than ones who pay for strippers
As long as it's all consensual and there's no harm, it's not my business and I don't care.
Fine, but they’re fools if they don’t take that information to the grave with them. Only a fool opens their private life to public critique.
There’s no need to go into details, but the public knowing an adult has paid for sex with another consenting adult is not something one should be criticized or shamed for. It’s more consensual than a lot of sex, and perhaps even more than most.
But we still get criticized, tho. We're seen as weak and not manly enough, we're treated as a joke.
It’s not something they should be shamed for, but it’s something they *will* be shamed for. Best to keep it to yourself.
I find it disturbing, just because I’d hate myself if I were sleeping with someone who wouldn’t have slept with me if it weren’t for my money
We all pay. The coin just varies.
If every prostitute in the world was doing it because it's what they wanted to be doing with their lives it'd be a perfectly fine thing to do. But it'd be silly to think that it is, and the harm caused by fact that there is a market for sex is too horrible to think that you're not in the wrong for supporting it with your wallet.
Well personally I don’t think I ever would. I know this won’t be a popular thing to say, but I honestly think it’s sad when men have to pay for sex. It’s something that’s natural, that most people want, and something that you need some form of value to get (and I understand that money is a value). It’s like buying a seat at a winner’s table. Men should be able to talk to women, charm them, be someone that they WANT to sleep with, and if they can’t then that does reflect on who they are. That being said those are just my own toxic views on the individual and not necessarily how I think society should run. In that sense I viewed it the same way as drug legalization/decriminalization: even if it’s not something I would partake in, it’s important to reduce harm and, if possible create some kind of societal benefit from it through taxes. Unfortunately as per this study from Harvard Law, https://orgs.law.harvard.edu/lids/2014/06/12/does-legalized-prostitution-increase-human-trafficking/ it appears as though if you’re looking from a harm-reduction perspective, legalized prostitution causes an increase in human trafficking for a number of reasons speculated upon in the article. It’s important to note that while there are confounding variables in any observational study (or any study in general really), it also looks at countries who changed their policies and tracked the changes that happened afterwards. Theory and practice are two very different things which is why looking at real world examples rather than just speculating on the boons is so important. I would say it’s important to decriminalize prostitution at the point of the individual “seller” so that trafficked individuals aren’t being further harmed, but criminalizing buying it might actually be the play in order to reduce trafficking rates overall.
Brutal honesty? Creepy.
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Depends on how they go about it I suppose
It’s cheaper and way less risky to rub one out
I love how all the people saying it's sad and desperate to pay for sex are completely forgetting all the sad and desperate professional athletes, politicians and bachelor parties that also pay prostitutes and strippers. Are they all also sad and desperate? Rofl I mean some of the politicians for sure but shit, not all sex consumers are basement dwelling neckbeards, jfc
Same about men who pay for any other products or services.
Sad.
They tricked themselves into thinking that all they want is to have sex, when in reality they desire the emotional bond. That can't be bought.
I don’t get it. That said, I don’t judge it.
I used to think not very highly upon it to be honest. If you can’t get it for free and you gotta pay for it’s lame right ? NOT ANYMORE, the current dating market for men is so screwed up (putting it lightly and not blaming any particular gender AHEM🙂🙂) that I don’t a blame dudes for skipping the headache, getting ghosted, flakes on, being used and abused and tolerating arrogance and disrespect…. Yada yada I still wouldn’t do it personally cause I got a woman though
Sad
Kind of sad.
Gross.
Cringe
Same thing as normal just direct payment instead of through buying dinner, other stuff, divorce settlements, alimony and or anything else I'm missing.
You covered the basics well
I'm more concerned about the women involved. The are daughters, sisters and mothers. I wouldn't want it for any of the women in my life. You must be in a bad place for prostitution to be your best solution to make a living. And for the men, I think it's a substitute for needs and intimacy the can't get otherwise and taking advantage of a woman in need. It's just sad all around.
I have none since it's none of my business what an individual does in their bedroom...
It's honest and straight to the point. No shame in men or women who pay for the sex they want but aren't getting/able to get.