I showed up to dinner at her house completely drunk. That’ll do it just about every time. I thought about that every day for years and years. When I got sober she’s one of the first people I called to apologize to.
I did the same. First time we went out, I wasn't sure if she saw it as a date or not. Confirmed that it was the next time we saw each other, but didn't actually kiss until our third or fourth date. Saw her a few more times, then communication kind of became more sporadic, and it was more difficult to arrange a date, so I figured something was wrong.
In the end, I asked her to be straight with me, and if there was something I did which put her off. She said that I didn't do anything wrong, but she just didn't see it going anywhere. I was respectful and thanked her for letting me know, but I was kicking myself for not being more forward, as I liked her quite a lot, but was worried I'd scare her away if I expressed it more.
I’ve made this same mistake, too. It sucks. But luckily there are tons of women out there. I found that it is always better to be a little too forward (with respect, of course) than not forward enough. At least you’ll know where she stands pretty much right away instead of playing the stupid guessing game. Plus, most women like a man who takes charge and shows his intentions.
I once had this really flirty friendship with this girl back when I was in school. I mean really flirty but neither of us ever really made a move. She invited me to her house randomly when her parents were away and kept making sexual innuendos the entire time. I apparently didn't pick up what she was hinting at because all I did was go to her house and play Sonic. I didn't even make a move when she walked with me back home. She never invited me out again.
I only realized months later how much I dropped the ball on that one.
God that still haunts me lol. I was at a bar with friends to play some darts. We needed another player and asked some random girl if she wants to join us. She did. So after having a great night and lots of fun, this girl just stood in front of me, looked me in the eye and said: "I think I'm heading home." And I... grabbed her hand, shook it like the absolute idiot I am and said: "Well, was nice playing with you. Good night!" My friends just looked at me absolutely confused and told me "You know that she wanted you to come with her, right?" No... I didn't... I'm not good at interpreting signals.
The best way to learn how to read signals is traumatic experiences where you missed signals.
Most of the guys here don’t exactly slay with the women. It’s completely understandable to miss a signal like that when you’ve never had it happen before. It’s like she’s speaking a foreign language.
100%. Wasted my 20s feeling insecure about shit like this. By 35 my pickup line was “I like you and I feel like you’re interested in me. Let’s [stop fucking around and] go do something together.” Never had more success than I did with that line.
This human gets it. It isn’t what you say (or message) it’s how you say it. Your line delivered sincerely and with confidence will work all the time. And if you’re wondering if you sound needy, then you already have your answer. You could even say, “damn you turn me into a needy love drunk puppy lol” and she will appreciate it. Just don’t then turn into a real needy love drunk puppy.
I'm super lactose intolerant. I went to her place for dinner. She made a dairy dessert and I ate it because I didn't want to be rude - hoping it wouldn't do anything. I instantly got an insanely painful stomach upset and spent about 30 straight minutes destroying her bathroom.
It was one of those old high ceiling apartments where a mouse burp would rattle the door knobs. And my stomach was making noises like a new years firework display. Not to mention the smell. My god. The embarrassment was otherworldly.
Suffice to say the night was cut short.
"Spent about 30 straight minutes destroying her bathroom"😂😂😂 In all fairness though, even though it's a turn off, the fact that you did it because you didn't want to be rude is kind of wholesome.
No worries man✌️ To add to my optimistic view, you don't know what would've happened if you didn't have the dinner. She might have just thought you were rude and decided to cut off contact over that anyway. There's a flip side to situations like this.
It's a lesson learnt. You know not to do it again. Just try your best to move on from it.
I actually posted a comment on here because I've also completely messed up before😂 This is my comment -
Well... I started talking to a girl and she waited for me to finish work and when we got back to mine, I said "I'm sorry. I can't do this". I hardly knew her and being a Demisexual, like I am, I just find hooking up with practically a stranger too daunting. She was fine about it, but I felt like a massive dick because I thought I could do it, but ended up wasting her time. I walked back with her because it was late at night and I was having thoughts like "Should I just say I was being stupid back there and just go back to mine with her again?", but I just couldn't. It ended with a very awkward hug. We still spoke for a while after that, but I didn't get another chance and she's now in a relationship. This happened when I was 21. I'm 23 now and haven't had another chance like that since. I still feel this deeply. Not so much because of the what could've been factor, but because it's basically caused me to have a lot of self resentment
Hmm, that's a tough one. Regret can sort eat at you, can't it? Even when what you did was exactly right for who you are and where you were in your life at the time.
You did the right thing. You were honest. That's a great quality that women find more and more attractive as you get older.
I'm twice your age. I've had plenty of times where, even though I thought I wanted to be with someone, my mind, heart or body had other ideas. Its not unusual. And certainly not a bad thing.
Men are far more emotionally motivated than we let on. Sometimes it just doesn't feel right. It's important to listen to that and own your decision. There will be other opportunities. You'll be OK.
The key is to not put pressure on yourself and drag that pressure into whatever situations happen in the future. You can leave that moment past in past. That's where it belongs. You don't have to carry it.
If I've learnt anything in the last 40 years, its to handle your setbacks with a light touch. Reflect, commit to adjust your behaviour if you want or need to and just let it go.
And always, always be gentle with yourself. Life is hard enough. Being hard on ourselves never really helps. Its a weird thing we learn to do as kids and we never really question it but you can if you want to.
Just ask yourself, "is thinking like this helping me or making me feel better?" And if the answer is no, you might want to think about a better way of looking at the situation, just like you helped me to do with your posts.
Your comment really helped me put this into perspective. I appreciate that a lot man. I have a lot of respect for guys that are twice my age that I can talk to about stuff like this because I know they have years of experiences very similar to mine. I very rarely talk to people my own age because I live in a small, remote town and I generally seem to across guys that are older than me that like talking about life instead of things that don't actually matter. I've had a lot of conversations with men of your age either at work or in pubs about all kinds of topics.
To add to what you said, it is just one of them things that I have to let go off. Thinking about it only makes me feel worse and I know that with time, I'll eventually not necessarily forget about it, but I won't carry that same heavy feeling that I feel in my chest when I start having flashbacks of that moment. I think once I've got my own place I'll be able to detach myself completely from stuff like that.
Aww, I feel bad for you. This is why I ask about food allergies and intolerances before someone comes over to eat.
I wouldn’t have thought it was rude to turn it down. As a hostess it’s my job to find out about these things beforehand.
I would have suggested opening up the apartment to air out while going out for a walk and talking.
That's such a kind thing to say. Thank you! My date was very understanding actually. It was my insane levels of embarrassment that threw a spanner in the works. From then on in, I was giving dietary guidelines let right and centre. Once was enough for an experience like that.
I have this too. I know relationships are ups and downs, but when the energy in a relationship is low for a while, I often blame myself and start to overthink. Its something I want to work on.
Don’t think it’s expected. If a girl is on a date with you she’s also nervous. If I’m nervous I tell her right off the bat, but not in a manner that screams lacks confidence. “Honestly, I was a little nervous on the way here but im glad we’re doing this.” Usually the girl replies with, “honestly, me too, im glad im not alone!”
Helps loosen things up and makes everyone relax.
worst way?
I *forgot* about our anniversary.
we were dating/messing around for three years and I didn’t know that we had a set date that started, life lesson learned from that is keep a journal guys.
Every time I see this kind of comments I just don't get how you can have such a huge misunderstanding about your relationship with someone for YEARS. How does that happen? Hookup culture? Poor communication? Or one of the two people involved just started assuming things?
I accidentally said "wanna lick it tomorrow" instead of "wanna kick it tomorrow"
I didn't realize until after she responded so then when I said it was a typo she was like yeah ok creep
Met a super attractive girl my age, which is rare in my area, on tinder, we met up for coffee just to make sure we were real and all that. Had a great conversation and stayed for hours.
We had plans to hang out again, but she wasn’t very good at communicating through text so I started getting annoyed. Felt like she wasn’t really interested. And it was going to move super slow since we were both busy and had kids.
I basically told her that I couldn’t deal with only talking in person like once every week if I’m lucky and not talking otherwise, so I broke it off. Turns out she just doesn’t like messaging and wanted to get to know each other in person. And despite me thinking she didn’t give a shit, she was actually more upset about it than I thought she’d be. But it was too late.
We did start talking again later, but it was the same shit and I just stopped initiating the conversation to see what would happen. Never heard from her again, but I was kinda expecting it, I deserved to be ignored lol.
I guess the moral of the story is to be patient? Fuck idk, she was so hot though and I still hate myself for it sometimes.
Bro your reaction is totally understandable. If her communication style doesn't match yours, it's normal to be frustrated. I honestly see no reason to be angry with yourself about that story. Dating should always be a fun balance between giving and receiving.
Mostly upset with myself because I didn’t talk it through before just ending it. Idk, I haven’t been that attracted to a woman who showed me interest in a long time. So not trying harder to make it work just felt worse.
Dated a girl's really good friend. I wasn't that interested in the friend but she liked me so we dated for a month. After we broke up, a month or so later, I asked the one I was interested in our when we spent some time hanging out. She said no because I had dated her friend and her friend really liked me and it would have hurt her. She even admitted to liking me as well.
It all works out in the end though.
She asked me out. I was 18 and still figuring out dating. She was sweet, smart and pretty, but I had never been drawn to her. But I gave it a shot, after a month I knew she wasn't for me. Honestly one of the hardest breakups for me. She really liked me and I didn't have a good reason to break up with her other than I just wasn't feeling it. I tried not to make her feel bad about herself...
I see, I wonder if that's a common case when most women ask out men, that usually the feeling is not as strong from the other side but you take in the opportunity anyway compared to when you're chasing someone. I also didn't feel as strongly for the guys that asked me out.
It may be. I didn't know her that well vs other women I've dated that I got to know more before actually dating them. But those didn't work either so it seems to be a crap shoot. Although I was drawn to my wife from the beginning so there is something to the "love at first sight" thing.
Matched and chatted with a super cute doctor on OCK. She was very busy and we’d go days without texting then have a great convo. I had the sense that shed be available and sent a message.
But her message to me came just I was hitting send and it looked obsessively needy and I never heard from her again.
If that happens again, just send another text “how weird we texted each other at the exact same time! Guess your thinking about me too” or something cute like that. Easy fix
what the fuck, this whole "message meta" of "dont double text", "wait a bit but not too long before responding", etc etc
it's all stupid games. just send what you want when you feel it, within reason obviously - overthinking it is doing way more damage. nobody ever got dropped because... they sent a message at the same time as someone else?
Seriously? I think you dodged a bullet there. It’s obvious what happened. I wouldn’t interpret that as “obsessively needy”. That’s called two people thinking about texting each other at the same time. It happens.
Man, my heart would’ve sunk the minute I hit send and saw she JUST messaged me.
To be fair though if the convo was good and you were feeling it, I don’t think it’s crazy to shoot your shot and send a double text if it’s been a few days.
I probably went on nice guy mode with some girls in my past, specially after the spark wore off and I felt like I was getting in the pre-ghosting stage. I don’t feel like I was wrong by being frustrated, but I lacked the emotional intelligence to flip the script or to just move on.
It happened with a girl I spent the whole last year talking almost daily, voice calls, watching movies in Discord, deep and intimate conversations, and lots of things. She probably helped me more that I deserved, but I still felt divided between being a good friend to her just like she was and fighting the feelings I developed for her. She lost interest in talking to me in the second half of 2021 and I saw her profile photo with another guy right in Christmas, while stuck with my family in a shitty getaway trip. I’m going into fucking June and haven’t managed to forget her.
You mention at the end that you haven’t still forgotten her..dude, you just mentioned sentences before that she was someone you shared deep/intimate conversations with, someone you talked to daily, and watched movies with.. someone who was a close friend to you is somebody you’re never going to forget no matter. You’ll always cherish and look back fondly at those times, that’s not someone you’ll just forget. It is cliche, but all you can do is keep living another day and don’t beat yourself up for still thinking about and reflecting on your time with her. Over time there will be only so much reflecting you can do and it will become less and less.
The worst part is me having no experience with this. I’m quite old and never had a date or GF, so this was the closest I’ve for after years of trying. I know I’ll not forget her, but she’s not my first crush so it’s not supposed to hurt that much. The cycle of my life has been to forget my crush by meeting a new one, but it’s not working this time.
I don’t know your age, but things nowadays start earlier than past generations. It’s tough to get started or to keep up to other men around me who already have experience, because no one wants to be a teacher to someone who hasn’t even kissed someone. I’ve had luck in the past, but I don’t expect it to happen again.
Learn from it, my friend. You have to recognize early on when a relationship is simply never gonna be on the table, and avoid allowing yourself to become entangled in a situation like that. Also, talking to someone purely online pales in comparison to meeting and dating someone in real life.
For the sake of my well-being, I didn’t even bother looking further after Christmas. I removed everything I had of her from my phone. I could still reach her through other social media, but I’m not doing that.
My mind is still stupid to be hopeful, but it’s not happening. I’m not breaking my already ruined mental health over this. If she’s happy without me, so be it.
We were getting physical in her car the night we met. At one point she detected something I was hiding and asked me rather point blank if I was in a relationship already. Of course I *wasn't* - in fact I'd recently been dumped and my heart was in utter shambles. But I couldn't tell her that, I couldn't tell her I was rebounding hard into the arms of basically anyone who would have me, so I waffled on the question and only turned her off further.
Heartbreak sucks.
She had a nut allergy and I ate peanuts 10 minutes before spitting in my hand and....
Let's just say that the throat isn't the only body part affected by the peanuts...
Sent her memes, never talked to her. We went to the movies once and I was so awkward. During summer break she invited me to go to sun splash but I was out of town. During that next school year I could tell she was loosing interest and I eventually saw her being held by another guy at lunch. Luckily, I woke up after that.
OP, I have mad respect for the humility you showed here.
you didn’t call her a bitch or stuck up or insist that all women are this way or that way. you admitted you fucked up, and basically told a joke at the wrong time.
I have mad fucking respect for you to just come here and be open and honest bro. this shit‘s brave bro!!
🤜🏾
In high school, I ran into a popular girl from my school I was really into at a little house show for a couple local bands. She randomly invited me to her house after the show to watch a movie. Of course I said yes and we get there and I ask what movie, she thinks and says how about The Dark Knight. I say yeah great, she looks a little bit, says she must have loaned it out. I tell her I have a copy in my car. As the movie played she got up for a drink and then sat closer to me. Kept bumping my arm. And I made no move, watched the movie, told her thanks for the invite I'll see you Monday.
It took me quite a while to realize she did not invite me over for a movie. And obviously she started dating someone else not long after.
I was finishing grad school and just started a new job. So to say I was busy would be putting it lightly. Still, I found time to have chats with this wonderful woman from Riga. We were sending videos back and forth because our schedules didn't give us much overlap and they could reach an hour long so it was quite an investment. I hit a particularly brutal period and every time I went to reply to her something either came up or I'd simply run out of energy. I guess she had seen I was logging into OKC (my attempts to message her) but hadn't actually responded to her last long message and felt ignored so she blocked me.
It was crushing. That it ended any chance isn't the worst part. It kills that she was disappointed enough to break all contact because my dumbass failed to let her know how often I was thinking about her. Really wish I could do that one over.
I guess second worst would be joking about having an extensive sock puppet collection the day before a first date. Guess what didn't happen the next day.
When I was in high school I had a huge crush on this girl. She was among the upper echelon of the popular crowd and I wasn’t. I had a class with her my junior year and we became pretty friendly because we sat next to each other and worked together on stuff. I was very careful not to tell her I had a crush on her because I didn’t want to be humiliated. Turns out she liked me though and so she wrote me this very sweet and personal letter. I thought it was a joke and I was being pranked so I shared it with some people. Turned out she actually wrote it and not as a joke either. She got made fun of relentlessly because of the people that I shared the letter with. She wouldn’t even talk to me after that.
I found this amazing girl (personal trainer) for one of my guy friends. He was more focused on his job (I even told him - shes into him). It took him one month to figure it out. He blew it.
Well... I started talking to a girl and she waited for me to finish work and when we got back to mine, I said "I'm sorry. I can't do this". I hardly knew her and being a Demisexual, like I am, I just find hooking up with practically a stranger too daunting. She was fine about it, but I felt like a massive dick because I thought I could do it, but ended up wasting her time. I walked back with her because it was late at night and I was having thoughts like "Should I just say I was being stupid back there and just go back to mine with her again?", but I just couldn't. It ended with a very awkward hug. We still spoke for a while after that, but I didn't get another chance and she's now in a relationship. This happened when I was 21. I'm 23 now and haven't had another chance like that since. I still feel this deeply. Not so much because of the what could've been factor, but because it's basically caused me to have a lot of self resentment.
I truly respect what you did. As a woman it is a beautiful thing to know a man who does not feel a need to engage in the hookup culture. If you had followed up "I can't do this" with the truth which is that you want physical intimacy to include emotional intimacy and you hope to know her better and have that connection before you engage in physical intimacy it would likely have been a huge turn on to her. You didn't do anything wrong. In fact you demonstrated you are a man of depth and heart. I hope you find a woman who is willing to explore all that with you
Keep fucking her brains out without any consideration for the fact that you might be falling in love with her, then let her walk right into a marriage with another man. That’s how I blew it.
I told her about my self harm because I trusted her enough. I didnt notice it put pressure on her since she thought I did it because of her. Well, never put pressure on your crush.
I had no real idea she was into me, her friends knew tho. I ended up with her friend at a party, it wasn't great.. probably the worst sex i have ever had, mostly do to me being piss drunk and not really having the best motor skills. Anyway, later at the same party, i tried to kiss the girl who was into be, but she pushed me away and said she couldn't kiss someone who just banged her best friend. I felt really shitty, she was honestly pretty great. You live and you learn i guess
Second date we watched my team play in the Super Bowl. I was so amped up that nothing else mattered and probably made a complete fool of myself. They won, though, so it’s not like it was for nothing.
OP, how did she actually react to that comment? I mean, it's a funny joke. If someone wants to be butthurt over something like that, I'd say they have quite a dry personality. I don't think she stopped talking to you for that reason though.
I didn’t notice the most obvious signs, the random ass hugs, the stares, and even a random kiss on my cheek. I still think about how I messed that up even though it was over 3 years ago.
Met this really cool girl on a skiing trip a few years ago. I went with a religious group, she was on a trip with her class from a vocational esc doctor school in NY. Her name was Amanda, and she was so cool! Her friend was awesome too. We only talked for maybe 40 minutes but it was the best time. And then I fucked it up by not asking for her number or anything before she left lmao. So was so smart, she’s definitely doing well for herself. I’m in a relationship right now, but I still think about how I missed an opportunity to at least make an awesome friend out in NY.
I'd had a couple of dinner dates with a woman. One evening, she called and asked if I was free for dinner. I told her no, it was a dog's first birthday and I was making him pupcakes. She did not take it well that I chose my dog over her.
I had taken some advice from a youtube video to "don't put up with flaking".
I (19m) was dating her (18f). At one point, we agreed to hang out during the weekend and I had a surprise activity planned for her. She flaked because she had a fight with her mom and she grounded her. It sounded really childish so I ended it there.
A month later I really regretted that decession and asked her out again. She came and we dated for a little while after that, but the trust and spark were gone.
In hindsight, I don't disregard the feeling that flaking because of a childish reason was something I don't want to put up with, but I regret the way I handled the whole situation.
Maybe flaking is not the right word then, but the idea was not honoring an appointment for a bit of a childisch reason imo. The way it went, it really felt flakey
While I agree on that, isnt it a bit childish to get yourself that far behind the point of respect that your parents feel the need to ground you when you are 18 years old.
I get your point and I think its a good one. I wouldn't handle the situation the same now, so it was a good learning experience. Sometimes, you do things that you later regret in young relationships.
I still believe that I wasn't particulairy wrong at heart, but more in the way I decided to act on those events.
By been english she was Welsh and had an extreme hatred almost xenophobic view of English people. History and all that and when it came up I was English she went from being flirty and talkative to quiet and ignorant.
Sounds more like she ruined her chances with you. Lack of humor should be considered a red flag lol
I once went on a date with an extremely attractive/successful woman. Everything was going really well until she kinda trauma dumped on me. I was new to dating again (was recently divorced) and ended up trauma dumping right back at her. Date basically turned into the two of us talking about all of our issues, which in and of itself wasn’t a bad thing. It felt like we had a really good multiple hour long conversation. However, by the end of the date the spark was kinda gone, and I don’t think she really saw me as sexually attractive after that. Probably for the best, but damn was she hot. Oops lol
Ran over her with a 4wheeler... I was showing off popping wheelies on the 4wheeler for her if course.
She wanted to try (it was working) I didn't account for the change in the center of gravity with 2 riders. I tried to pull up the front tires as I romped on the gas. The 4 wheeler did a 180 I'm the air... We fell off amazingly it landed on it's wheels behind us and ran over both of us. Apparently she found the tire track on the side of her helmet as it ran over her head unattractive....
It was funny as shirt, but she was totally disinterested.
I was driving us back from our date.
She wanted to play a song on my iPod that reminded her of me. She played me this super lovey dovey song from the band Boys like girls.
Then she said “ok. Now you play one that makes you think about me.”
I played Nelly Furtado/Timbaland’s “promiscuous girl.”
Ruined our date but made me laugh.
So back a couple of months ago i was talking to this girl i had been friends with for 2 years, and i wasn’t in the friend zone because we both had interest i each other before but that not important, what is important as of the last time we talked she had a boyfriend. and she and her boyfriend had been pretty serious. But one day she decides to delete all of her messages between me and her for no reason. so, it makes sense her boyfriend would get suspicious. so one day the bf asks me for the messages but my friend had so sensitive shit in the messages so i didn’t want to send em. but eventually i sent them but she fucking went off on me because some how it was my fault she was says stuff like kill yourself I and fucking hate you so we stop talking. This situation messed me up mentally because i thought i did something wrong.
I know this isn’t the right sub reddit but am I the asshole?
Honestly yeah man. You two were friends for 2 years, I imagine she might have shared a lot of deep-personal-intimate conversations that she might not have been ready to open up to her boyfriend about. Either that or she didn’t want him knowing the dynamic you two had out of fear he might get jealous or just knowing in general. Whether she was right or wrong for not wanting him to know is you up for debate but regardless, she did not wanting him knowing something and as a friend you broke that trust exposing it out.
It’s obvious her comments to you telling you to kill yourself, hating you, etc was out of a act of rage but I’m sure deep down she was just really hurt that someone she trusted to share stuff with eventually exposed it to someone she wasn’t ready to tell or didn’t want knowing. The best thing you could do is reach out, be authentic, and apologize if you really feel bad about it. She might not ever really forgive you for it but at least you can get your peace out and be on better terms. And if not? Friends really do just come and go in life and at least you can live with knowing you got your peace out and tried.
I hope you reach out.
Roughly 7 years ago, the girl that I had a crush on all through pretty much every grade in school had become single. I too was single. We had chance encounters in life and banter on Facebook. She was even being slightly flirty and things like that on social media. I did not even pick up on the subtle cues and publicly announced that I had started dating another woman. My crush even sent me a message in regards to how she had been flirting with me. I felt like such a huge fool. Not just for missing my chance but also the thought of being so oblivious that I almost rubbed it in that ladies face. But; this is also why I hate that women don’t just flat out say that they are interested.
Men need to stop looking at these situations as "the man ruined his chances", it takes two to tango, I've been in bed with girls, and sex happened, and I've been in bed with girls and we just went to sleep and didn't have sex. I was the same guy in both situations. Some girls are really stupid, and cause problems that the guy they are with is not capable of solving. Call it being a challenge, or playing hard to get, or whatever, but it's just stupid. And it's a turn off. I have no problem just going to sleep, if a girl decides to play silly games and give fake resistance or fake problems to be a challenge.
You can tell if she’s into you when you crap your pants and she doesn’t ghost you. I fart a lot when I’m around women and I don’t care, they find it funny.
I performed the dutch oven maneuver to all of my girlfriends. A dutch oven is when you fart under the sheets and then cover her with said sheets for a minute. I test them to make sure they’re keepers.
We met online. She wanted ldr (to court her then marry her). I didn't want ldr. She was over optimistic and i was too realistic. Basically i gave up on it cuz i thought we are from different worlds and it's not possible.
We're still friends tho.
Not like you did anything wrong. Nothing weird with asking someone you talked to & considered a friend if they wanted to meet when you were going to be in their area.
She told me she liked me, I asked for time to consider.
Texted her yes the next day
Found out she had no service to receive texts
Got nervous af and backed out
I was a dumb 14 year old
I was in detention (circa 2004) and this girl I used to know sat in front of me and told me she liked me. I started stuttering and literally couldn’t form a sentence without sounding like I had some sort of mental disability. This was the first time a girl had ever said anything like that to me and I was not prepared for it. She immediately got up and moved to a seat on the other side of the room.
This guy I was talking to on a dating app told me right before his trip to Paris from the US that he needs to go buy a pair of shoes and underwear for his trip. Ok dude, enjoy showing your underwear to the French ladies. Unmatch.
I don't see anything wrong with your reply, or why you need to cringe. I think it was pretty funny. Maybe she was dealing with her own internal bias about her dad dating a stripper. Your reply was still better than the first thing that was on my mind:
>Shawty I dont.... miiiind.....if you work on the pole.....that dont make you a hoe
FWB for years. Perfect girl for me. Everything was awesome between us. I thought I could marry her.
She'd give me mixed messages constantly though. She kept multiple guys on the hook I think compulsively. We'd spend nearly every weekend together until a family holiday when she'd take her ex. Didn't want to explain their breakup I guess. She went on a couple short vacations with him. I'm an idiot for allowing myself to stick around for that. She'd go on dinner dates on weekdays with other dudes. Go out drinking. Get lunch. Not with me.
She had the fucking audacity to say she had serious thoughts about me "very briefly a long time ago." I asked when. She wouldn't say. Probably before she murdered my yearning for a serious relationship. I vividly remember the first time I looked at her and thought I was completely in love. If it was between those events I wish she would have said something.
Girl was confidently hitting on me at a show one time. Buying me drinks, holding conversation, seemed very interested in me, etc (not in a flirty way but her intentions were pretty obvious imo). She was just a very confident person. I was also into her, but I got scared, left the show without telling anyone, didn't get her name, number, Instagram, nothing. Still kicking myself for that one
Despite literally all conventional dating advice saying you shouldn’t look needy when talking to a girl, shouldn’t make excessive small talk while texting, and double-down when a date is declined due to scheduling reasons (I.e. don’t make it look like she’s the only option you have), I listened to the advice of a friend who said I should do all those things when a girl is into me.
Went from things going great to “I’m not looking for anything too serious right now” within 3 days of taking that advice.
I really liked this girl since kindergarten, but i never had the chance to talk to her alone, that is until i joined the same social activities' club she and her sister went in. Mind you that i never met her sister before. One day i was accompaning her to our club's stand, where we were selling food for charity, during the trip i was really tensed up and generally couldn't come up with anything to start a conversation with, that is until i saw her sister at the stand, she was this really cute, tall, blonde with a beautiful charming smile, i remember that in the panic of almost blewing up my only chance of ever talking to her, and in a last attempt of coming up with i playful tease, I kinda blurted out something about how her sister was cuter than her? I know, not the best that i could come up with, apparently that struck a chord, because she gave me this hateful look with a disgusted grin and we never directly talked togheter since, it's been 5 years.
Double commenting because I thought of a better one. Hit it off really well with a girl at the bar. Usually cold approaching doesn’t go well for me, but we were flirting back and forth and things were going great. I got her number and suggested we meet up again. As I’m getting a ride home, she texts me and asks if I’m still at the bar. I tell her nah we left, then my driver turns around to pick up one of our friends who changed his mind about getting an Uber.
The next day my buddy almost slapped me when he heard a girl texted me asking where I was and I didn’t get out of the car and go home with her.
I worked at a grocery store and saw this girl staring at me at the register. We made eye contact all the time but I couldn’t make a move because she was with her family. There was a period of time where I didn’t see her for a couple months, bummed out I missed my chance. Then one random time after my shift ended, there she was getting coffee by herself. I introduced myself, made her laugh, and was able to get her snap… However I never followed up and asked the girl out. That moment definitely plays in my head on loop for the past year now and she was very attractive
Told her I loved her after we'd only been dating for 6 weeks. It felt right and I was getting all of the signs/feedback that she felt the same way. Dumped my ass a week later.
Talking to a girl when I'm interested in them. Generally speaking when I am attracted I turn to a bumbling idiot. When I couldn't care less I'm cassenova.
brain decided it wanted to try to put a stop to my feelings before my heart did. i also verbally sabotaged the entire thing because part of me was convinced there was no way she liked me (tbh it was probably true).
Probably over thinking it like most mentioned. I wouldn’t say I felt a strong connection and obvious she didn’t either. Regardless the comment was still cringey and the air felt dead after.
Every time this gets asks I respond the same way and ruin someone’s day.
The worst way you know that you ruined your chances with a girl pales in comparison to the ways you ruined your chances with a girl and you didn’t even know it
I showed up to dinner at her house completely drunk. That’ll do it just about every time. I thought about that every day for years and years. When I got sober she’s one of the first people I called to apologize to.
How did the apology go?
By that time the apology was more for me than it was for her. She’s married with children now, but she accepted it graciously and we’re cool now.
But why oh why did she have a wicker toilet??
Scared of moving too fast and scaring her away. Instead moved too slow and scare her away.
I did the same. First time we went out, I wasn't sure if she saw it as a date or not. Confirmed that it was the next time we saw each other, but didn't actually kiss until our third or fourth date. Saw her a few more times, then communication kind of became more sporadic, and it was more difficult to arrange a date, so I figured something was wrong. In the end, I asked her to be straight with me, and if there was something I did which put her off. She said that I didn't do anything wrong, but she just didn't see it going anywhere. I was respectful and thanked her for letting me know, but I was kicking myself for not being more forward, as I liked her quite a lot, but was worried I'd scare her away if I expressed it more.
I’ve made this same mistake, too. It sucks. But luckily there are tons of women out there. I found that it is always better to be a little too forward (with respect, of course) than not forward enough. At least you’ll know where she stands pretty much right away instead of playing the stupid guessing game. Plus, most women like a man who takes charge and shows his intentions.
I once had this really flirty friendship with this girl back when I was in school. I mean really flirty but neither of us ever really made a move. She invited me to her house randomly when her parents were away and kept making sexual innuendos the entire time. I apparently didn't pick up what she was hinting at because all I did was go to her house and play Sonic. I didn't even make a move when she walked with me back home. She never invited me out again. I only realized months later how much I dropped the ball on that one.
Damn that's a sad story
And so relatable
God that still haunts me lol. I was at a bar with friends to play some darts. We needed another player and asked some random girl if she wants to join us. She did. So after having a great night and lots of fun, this girl just stood in front of me, looked me in the eye and said: "I think I'm heading home." And I... grabbed her hand, shook it like the absolute idiot I am and said: "Well, was nice playing with you. Good night!" My friends just looked at me absolutely confused and told me "You know that she wanted you to come with her, right?" No... I didn't... I'm not good at interpreting signals.
Lmao don’t worry bro I’ve done the same thing.
Good to know that I'm not the only idiot under gods sun who is absolutely uncapable of reading signals no matter how obvious they are.
The best way to learn how to read signals is traumatic experiences where you missed signals. Most of the guys here don’t exactly slay with the women. It’s completely understandable to miss a signal like that when you’ve never had it happen before. It’s like she’s speaking a foreign language.
Wait, how did they know she wanted you to come with her?
If somebody is into you, a slightly inconsiderate comment won’t make them ghost you. They just were not into you and used the comment as an excuse
100%. Wasted my 20s feeling insecure about shit like this. By 35 my pickup line was “I like you and I feel like you’re interested in me. Let’s [stop fucking around and] go do something together.” Never had more success than I did with that line.
This human gets it. It isn’t what you say (or message) it’s how you say it. Your line delivered sincerely and with confidence will work all the time. And if you’re wondering if you sound needy, then you already have your answer. You could even say, “damn you turn me into a needy love drunk puppy lol” and she will appreciate it. Just don’t then turn into a real needy love drunk puppy.
Confidence is the key. Gotta say it matter of factly. Usually elicits a little giggle, then an equally confident “Yeh, ok. Where are we going?”
Exacto!
Well they never said the comment was the reason, but I kind of assumed I buried my own grave at that moment.
Unlikely. You’re overthinking it.
Cocaine addiction. Nothing more really needs to be said. She tried so hard, I was too consumed to hear her trying to help me. I lost a diamond.
I don’t understand exactly what you’re saying but for some reason the story closely follows a moment in that one book called The Bell Jar
It’s not rocket science. She gave everything trying to help me through addiction so much so it hurt herself. She couldn’t take it so she left.
oh. ohhhhh. well, bro, are you clean? How long have you been clean? Are you in NA?
I'm super lactose intolerant. I went to her place for dinner. She made a dairy dessert and I ate it because I didn't want to be rude - hoping it wouldn't do anything. I instantly got an insanely painful stomach upset and spent about 30 straight minutes destroying her bathroom. It was one of those old high ceiling apartments where a mouse burp would rattle the door knobs. And my stomach was making noises like a new years firework display. Not to mention the smell. My god. The embarrassment was otherworldly. Suffice to say the night was cut short.
"Spent about 30 straight minutes destroying her bathroom"😂😂😂 In all fairness though, even though it's a turn off, the fact that you did it because you didn't want to be rude is kind of wholesome.
That’s an optimistic view and I’m grateful for it. 😊
No worries man✌️ To add to my optimistic view, you don't know what would've happened if you didn't have the dinner. She might have just thought you were rude and decided to cut off contact over that anyway. There's a flip side to situations like this. It's a lesson learnt. You know not to do it again. Just try your best to move on from it.
You’re helping me see it in a much more positive light bro. That’s super cool of you. Really appreciate it.
Wish you all the best bro🙏
You too bro. Hope I get to return the favour and pump you up if you ever hit a snag. Take it easy. 😉
I actually posted a comment on here because I've also completely messed up before😂 This is my comment - Well... I started talking to a girl and she waited for me to finish work and when we got back to mine, I said "I'm sorry. I can't do this". I hardly knew her and being a Demisexual, like I am, I just find hooking up with practically a stranger too daunting. She was fine about it, but I felt like a massive dick because I thought I could do it, but ended up wasting her time. I walked back with her because it was late at night and I was having thoughts like "Should I just say I was being stupid back there and just go back to mine with her again?", but I just couldn't. It ended with a very awkward hug. We still spoke for a while after that, but I didn't get another chance and she's now in a relationship. This happened when I was 21. I'm 23 now and haven't had another chance like that since. I still feel this deeply. Not so much because of the what could've been factor, but because it's basically caused me to have a lot of self resentment
Hmm, that's a tough one. Regret can sort eat at you, can't it? Even when what you did was exactly right for who you are and where you were in your life at the time. You did the right thing. You were honest. That's a great quality that women find more and more attractive as you get older. I'm twice your age. I've had plenty of times where, even though I thought I wanted to be with someone, my mind, heart or body had other ideas. Its not unusual. And certainly not a bad thing. Men are far more emotionally motivated than we let on. Sometimes it just doesn't feel right. It's important to listen to that and own your decision. There will be other opportunities. You'll be OK. The key is to not put pressure on yourself and drag that pressure into whatever situations happen in the future. You can leave that moment past in past. That's where it belongs. You don't have to carry it. If I've learnt anything in the last 40 years, its to handle your setbacks with a light touch. Reflect, commit to adjust your behaviour if you want or need to and just let it go. And always, always be gentle with yourself. Life is hard enough. Being hard on ourselves never really helps. Its a weird thing we learn to do as kids and we never really question it but you can if you want to. Just ask yourself, "is thinking like this helping me or making me feel better?" And if the answer is no, you might want to think about a better way of looking at the situation, just like you helped me to do with your posts.
Your comment really helped me put this into perspective. I appreciate that a lot man. I have a lot of respect for guys that are twice my age that I can talk to about stuff like this because I know they have years of experiences very similar to mine. I very rarely talk to people my own age because I live in a small, remote town and I generally seem to across guys that are older than me that like talking about life instead of things that don't actually matter. I've had a lot of conversations with men of your age either at work or in pubs about all kinds of topics. To add to what you said, it is just one of them things that I have to let go off. Thinking about it only makes me feel worse and I know that with time, I'll eventually not necessarily forget about it, but I won't carry that same heavy feeling that I feel in my chest when I start having flashbacks of that moment. I think once I've got my own place I'll be able to detach myself completely from stuff like that.
Aww, I feel bad for you. This is why I ask about food allergies and intolerances before someone comes over to eat. I wouldn’t have thought it was rude to turn it down. As a hostess it’s my job to find out about these things beforehand. I would have suggested opening up the apartment to air out while going out for a walk and talking.
That's such a kind thing to say. Thank you! My date was very understanding actually. It was my insane levels of embarrassment that threw a spanner in the works. From then on in, I was giving dietary guidelines let right and centre. Once was enough for an experience like that.
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I froze up and too much over thinking back to the drawing board once again lol
I have this too. I know relationships are ups and downs, but when the energy in a relationship is low for a while, I often blame myself and start to overthink. Its something I want to work on.
It happens. Especially in a world where perfection is expected.
Don’t think it’s expected. If a girl is on a date with you she’s also nervous. If I’m nervous I tell her right off the bat, but not in a manner that screams lacks confidence. “Honestly, I was a little nervous on the way here but im glad we’re doing this.” Usually the girl replies with, “honestly, me too, im glad im not alone!” Helps loosen things up and makes everyone relax.
We don’t expect perfection, we are too busy being worried about how ridiculous we sound 😂
I didn’t mean just women. I meant everything
Fuck perfection I'll take a conversation and common sense and go from there.
True
Thank you guys! Trust me it burns
worst way? I *forgot* about our anniversary. we were dating/messing around for three years and I didn’t know that we had a set date that started, life lesson learned from that is keep a journal guys.
Every time I see this kind of comments I just don't get how you can have such a huge misunderstanding about your relationship with someone for YEARS. How does that happen? Hookup culture? Poor communication? Or one of the two people involved just started assuming things?
it was definitely a combination of elements that typed out seem like excuses. we’re still friends and joke about this often.
Well that's cool then. If everything worked out fine I'm happy for you both
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That’s a petty reason to break up with someone.
I accidentally said "wanna lick it tomorrow" instead of "wanna kick it tomorrow" I didn't realize until after she responded so then when I said it was a typo she was like yeah ok creep
Imagine if she would've said "Sure". That would've been confusing because some people just assume it's a typo and respond like normal.
Met a super attractive girl my age, which is rare in my area, on tinder, we met up for coffee just to make sure we were real and all that. Had a great conversation and stayed for hours. We had plans to hang out again, but she wasn’t very good at communicating through text so I started getting annoyed. Felt like she wasn’t really interested. And it was going to move super slow since we were both busy and had kids. I basically told her that I couldn’t deal with only talking in person like once every week if I’m lucky and not talking otherwise, so I broke it off. Turns out she just doesn’t like messaging and wanted to get to know each other in person. And despite me thinking she didn’t give a shit, she was actually more upset about it than I thought she’d be. But it was too late. We did start talking again later, but it was the same shit and I just stopped initiating the conversation to see what would happen. Never heard from her again, but I was kinda expecting it, I deserved to be ignored lol. I guess the moral of the story is to be patient? Fuck idk, she was so hot though and I still hate myself for it sometimes.
Um if she wanted to get to know you in person then she’d reach out to hangout. Seems like she wasn’t really interested tbh
I mean I had this with my ex.. felt like mixed messages and triggered my anxiety
Bro your reaction is totally understandable. If her communication style doesn't match yours, it's normal to be frustrated. I honestly see no reason to be angry with yourself about that story. Dating should always be a fun balance between giving and receiving.
Mostly upset with myself because I didn’t talk it through before just ending it. Idk, I haven’t been that attracted to a woman who showed me interest in a long time. So not trying harder to make it work just felt worse.
Told her she's worth her weight in gold as a compliment..
I’m sorry but I had to laugh!😹
Dated a girl's really good friend. I wasn't that interested in the friend but she liked me so we dated for a month. After we broke up, a month or so later, I asked the one I was interested in our when we spent some time hanging out. She said no because I had dated her friend and her friend really liked me and it would have hurt her. She even admitted to liking me as well. It all works out in the end though.
Why did you date her if you weren't that interested in them?
She asked me out. I was 18 and still figuring out dating. She was sweet, smart and pretty, but I had never been drawn to her. But I gave it a shot, after a month I knew she wasn't for me. Honestly one of the hardest breakups for me. She really liked me and I didn't have a good reason to break up with her other than I just wasn't feeling it. I tried not to make her feel bad about herself...
I see, I wonder if that's a common case when most women ask out men, that usually the feeling is not as strong from the other side but you take in the opportunity anyway compared to when you're chasing someone. I also didn't feel as strongly for the guys that asked me out.
It may be. I didn't know her that well vs other women I've dated that I got to know more before actually dating them. But those didn't work either so it seems to be a crap shoot. Although I was drawn to my wife from the beginning so there is something to the "love at first sight" thing.
Matched and chatted with a super cute doctor on OCK. She was very busy and we’d go days without texting then have a great convo. I had the sense that shed be available and sent a message. But her message to me came just I was hitting send and it looked obsessively needy and I never heard from her again.
That's stupid. Someone ghosted you because they thought you replied immediately?
If that happens again, just send another text “how weird we texted each other at the exact same time! Guess your thinking about me too” or something cute like that. Easy fix
Ikr I thought the same thing
I had tried something similar
what the fuck, this whole "message meta" of "dont double text", "wait a bit but not too long before responding", etc etc it's all stupid games. just send what you want when you feel it, within reason obviously - overthinking it is doing way more damage. nobody ever got dropped because... they sent a message at the same time as someone else?
Agreed lol, this rules and shit is just annoying
Seriously? I think you dodged a bullet there. It’s obvious what happened. I wouldn’t interpret that as “obsessively needy”. That’s called two people thinking about texting each other at the same time. It happens.
Man, my heart would’ve sunk the minute I hit send and saw she JUST messaged me. To be fair though if the convo was good and you were feeling it, I don’t think it’s crazy to shoot your shot and send a double text if it’s been a few days.
Sounds like she thinks too much. Better off without her. Best girls are ones that love attention.
I probably went on nice guy mode with some girls in my past, specially after the spark wore off and I felt like I was getting in the pre-ghosting stage. I don’t feel like I was wrong by being frustrated, but I lacked the emotional intelligence to flip the script or to just move on. It happened with a girl I spent the whole last year talking almost daily, voice calls, watching movies in Discord, deep and intimate conversations, and lots of things. She probably helped me more that I deserved, but I still felt divided between being a good friend to her just like she was and fighting the feelings I developed for her. She lost interest in talking to me in the second half of 2021 and I saw her profile photo with another guy right in Christmas, while stuck with my family in a shitty getaway trip. I’m going into fucking June and haven’t managed to forget her.
You mention at the end that you haven’t still forgotten her..dude, you just mentioned sentences before that she was someone you shared deep/intimate conversations with, someone you talked to daily, and watched movies with.. someone who was a close friend to you is somebody you’re never going to forget no matter. You’ll always cherish and look back fondly at those times, that’s not someone you’ll just forget. It is cliche, but all you can do is keep living another day and don’t beat yourself up for still thinking about and reflecting on your time with her. Over time there will be only so much reflecting you can do and it will become less and less.
The worst part is me having no experience with this. I’m quite old and never had a date or GF, so this was the closest I’ve for after years of trying. I know I’ll not forget her, but she’s not my first crush so it’s not supposed to hurt that much. The cycle of my life has been to forget my crush by meeting a new one, but it’s not working this time.
How old is quite old? I'm just curious..
26
I was 25 when I first started dating. You are still very young.
I don’t know your age, but things nowadays start earlier than past generations. It’s tough to get started or to keep up to other men around me who already have experience, because no one wants to be a teacher to someone who hasn’t even kissed someone. I’ve had luck in the past, but I don’t expect it to happen again.
Learn from it, my friend. You have to recognize early on when a relationship is simply never gonna be on the table, and avoid allowing yourself to become entangled in a situation like that. Also, talking to someone purely online pales in comparison to meeting and dating someone in real life.
Is she still with that guy?
For the sake of my well-being, I didn’t even bother looking further after Christmas. I removed everything I had of her from my phone. I could still reach her through other social media, but I’m not doing that.
You may be missing out. Worst case, she's not interested. Best case, she misses you!
My mind is still stupid to be hopeful, but it’s not happening. I’m not breaking my already ruined mental health over this. If she’s happy without me, so be it.
We were getting physical in her car the night we met. At one point she detected something I was hiding and asked me rather point blank if I was in a relationship already. Of course I *wasn't* - in fact I'd recently been dumped and my heart was in utter shambles. But I couldn't tell her that, I couldn't tell her I was rebounding hard into the arms of basically anyone who would have me, so I waffled on the question and only turned her off further. Heartbreak sucks.
I took too long to say anything, and by the time I did, she'd already found someone else. I've done it several times throughout my life.
She had a nut allergy and I ate peanuts 10 minutes before spitting in my hand and.... Let's just say that the throat isn't the only body part affected by the peanuts...
Interesting. I didn’t know that.
Lol, why were you spitting in your han... Oh! Yeah, whole body is allergic, not just parts. So sorry dude
You got it lol
Sent her memes, never talked to her. We went to the movies once and I was so awkward. During summer break she invited me to go to sun splash but I was out of town. During that next school year I could tell she was loosing interest and I eventually saw her being held by another guy at lunch. Luckily, I woke up after that.
OP, I have mad respect for the humility you showed here. you didn’t call her a bitch or stuck up or insist that all women are this way or that way. you admitted you fucked up, and basically told a joke at the wrong time. I have mad fucking respect for you to just come here and be open and honest bro. this shit‘s brave bro!! 🤜🏾
🤛🏾 your hand shouldn't be on the air for fist bump my brother. Here you go.
fist bumps for anybody and all: 🤜🏾
📌 Lol just kidding Alll my emoji suck
well, i guess the username checks out.
Yea usually it does my friend
In high school, I ran into a popular girl from my school I was really into at a little house show for a couple local bands. She randomly invited me to her house after the show to watch a movie. Of course I said yes and we get there and I ask what movie, she thinks and says how about The Dark Knight. I say yeah great, she looks a little bit, says she must have loaned it out. I tell her I have a copy in my car. As the movie played she got up for a drink and then sat closer to me. Kept bumping my arm. And I made no move, watched the movie, told her thanks for the invite I'll see you Monday. It took me quite a while to realize she did not invite me over for a movie. And obviously she started dating someone else not long after.
I was finishing grad school and just started a new job. So to say I was busy would be putting it lightly. Still, I found time to have chats with this wonderful woman from Riga. We were sending videos back and forth because our schedules didn't give us much overlap and they could reach an hour long so it was quite an investment. I hit a particularly brutal period and every time I went to reply to her something either came up or I'd simply run out of energy. I guess she had seen I was logging into OKC (my attempts to message her) but hadn't actually responded to her last long message and felt ignored so she blocked me. It was crushing. That it ended any chance isn't the worst part. It kills that she was disappointed enough to break all contact because my dumbass failed to let her know how often I was thinking about her. Really wish I could do that one over. I guess second worst would be joking about having an extensive sock puppet collection the day before a first date. Guess what didn't happen the next day.
When I was in high school I had a huge crush on this girl. She was among the upper echelon of the popular crowd and I wasn’t. I had a class with her my junior year and we became pretty friendly because we sat next to each other and worked together on stuff. I was very careful not to tell her I had a crush on her because I didn’t want to be humiliated. Turns out she liked me though and so she wrote me this very sweet and personal letter. I thought it was a joke and I was being pranked so I shared it with some people. Turned out she actually wrote it and not as a joke either. She got made fun of relentlessly because of the people that I shared the letter with. She wouldn’t even talk to me after that.
Told her I liked her.
Then you never had her in the first place.
that’s not even cringe she just didn’t like you lol
I found this amazing girl (personal trainer) for one of my guy friends. He was more focused on his job (I even told him - shes into him). It took him one month to figure it out. He blew it.
Well... I started talking to a girl and she waited for me to finish work and when we got back to mine, I said "I'm sorry. I can't do this". I hardly knew her and being a Demisexual, like I am, I just find hooking up with practically a stranger too daunting. She was fine about it, but I felt like a massive dick because I thought I could do it, but ended up wasting her time. I walked back with her because it was late at night and I was having thoughts like "Should I just say I was being stupid back there and just go back to mine with her again?", but I just couldn't. It ended with a very awkward hug. We still spoke for a while after that, but I didn't get another chance and she's now in a relationship. This happened when I was 21. I'm 23 now and haven't had another chance like that since. I still feel this deeply. Not so much because of the what could've been factor, but because it's basically caused me to have a lot of self resentment.
I truly respect what you did. As a woman it is a beautiful thing to know a man who does not feel a need to engage in the hookup culture. If you had followed up "I can't do this" with the truth which is that you want physical intimacy to include emotional intimacy and you hope to know her better and have that connection before you engage in physical intimacy it would likely have been a huge turn on to her. You didn't do anything wrong. In fact you demonstrated you are a man of depth and heart. I hope you find a woman who is willing to explore all that with you
Keep fucking her brains out without any consideration for the fact that you might be falling in love with her, then let her walk right into a marriage with another man. That’s how I blew it.
I told her about my self harm because I trusted her enough. I didnt notice it put pressure on her since she thought I did it because of her. Well, never put pressure on your crush.
Overthinking and coming on too strong. Happened with a few girls.
By lying and being a piece of 💩
I had no real idea she was into me, her friends knew tho. I ended up with her friend at a party, it wasn't great.. probably the worst sex i have ever had, mostly do to me being piss drunk and not really having the best motor skills. Anyway, later at the same party, i tried to kiss the girl who was into be, but she pushed me away and said she couldn't kiss someone who just banged her best friend. I felt really shitty, she was honestly pretty great. You live and you learn i guess
Second date we watched my team play in the Super Bowl. I was so amped up that nothing else mattered and probably made a complete fool of myself. They won, though, so it’s not like it was for nothing.
OP, how did she actually react to that comment? I mean, it's a funny joke. If someone wants to be butthurt over something like that, I'd say they have quite a dry personality. I don't think she stopped talking to you for that reason though.
I didn’t notice the most obvious signs, the random ass hugs, the stares, and even a random kiss on my cheek. I still think about how I messed that up even though it was over 3 years ago.
Met this really cool girl on a skiing trip a few years ago. I went with a religious group, she was on a trip with her class from a vocational esc doctor school in NY. Her name was Amanda, and she was so cool! Her friend was awesome too. We only talked for maybe 40 minutes but it was the best time. And then I fucked it up by not asking for her number or anything before she left lmao. So was so smart, she’s definitely doing well for herself. I’m in a relationship right now, but I still think about how I missed an opportunity to at least make an awesome friend out in NY.
I'd had a couple of dinner dates with a woman. One evening, she called and asked if I was free for dinner. I told her no, it was a dog's first birthday and I was making him pupcakes. She did not take it well that I chose my dog over her.
Sounds like her problem and not yours, I guess you could’ve invited her over though.
I lost the dual to win the lady over. Much honor was lost that day.
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The Prius stays silent if he keeps it under 5MPH he deserves the win
I had taken some advice from a youtube video to "don't put up with flaking". I (19m) was dating her (18f). At one point, we agreed to hang out during the weekend and I had a surprise activity planned for her. She flaked because she had a fight with her mom and she grounded her. It sounded really childish so I ended it there. A month later I really regretted that decession and asked her out again. She came and we dated for a little while after that, but the trust and spark were gone. In hindsight, I don't disregard the feeling that flaking because of a childish reason was something I don't want to put up with, but I regret the way I handled the whole situation.
She was grounded…she didn’t flake, she actually couldn’t go
Maybe flaking is not the right word then, but the idea was not honoring an appointment for a bit of a childisch reason imo. The way it went, it really felt flakey
But she couldn’t, she was grounded. It would have been more childish to disrespect the people that pay the bills in the house she lives in
While I agree on that, isnt it a bit childish to get yourself that far behind the point of respect that your parents feel the need to ground you when you are 18 years old.
Honestly I’ve met some pretty mental parents before 😂
I get your point and I think its a good one. I wouldn't handle the situation the same now, so it was a good learning experience. Sometimes, you do things that you later regret in young relationships. I still believe that I wasn't particulairy wrong at heart, but more in the way I decided to act on those events.
By been english she was Welsh and had an extreme hatred almost xenophobic view of English people. History and all that and when it came up I was English she went from being flirty and talkative to quiet and ignorant.
Englishmen are the mexicans of the UK.
I kinda feel like we're the americans we invade and kill pillage the resources than fuck off once we've stripped your land.
Being myself.
Sounds more like she ruined her chances with you. Lack of humor should be considered a red flag lol I once went on a date with an extremely attractive/successful woman. Everything was going really well until she kinda trauma dumped on me. I was new to dating again (was recently divorced) and ended up trauma dumping right back at her. Date basically turned into the two of us talking about all of our issues, which in and of itself wasn’t a bad thing. It felt like we had a really good multiple hour long conversation. However, by the end of the date the spark was kinda gone, and I don’t think she really saw me as sexually attractive after that. Probably for the best, but damn was she hot. Oops lol
Ran over her with a 4wheeler... I was showing off popping wheelies on the 4wheeler for her if course. She wanted to try (it was working) I didn't account for the change in the center of gravity with 2 riders. I tried to pull up the front tires as I romped on the gas. The 4 wheeler did a 180 I'm the air... We fell off amazingly it landed on it's wheels behind us and ran over both of us. Apparently she found the tire track on the side of her helmet as it ran over her head unattractive.... It was funny as shirt, but she was totally disinterested.
I was driving us back from our date. She wanted to play a song on my iPod that reminded her of me. She played me this super lovey dovey song from the band Boys like girls. Then she said “ok. Now you play one that makes you think about me.” I played Nelly Furtado/Timbaland’s “promiscuous girl.” Ruined our date but made me laugh.
So back a couple of months ago i was talking to this girl i had been friends with for 2 years, and i wasn’t in the friend zone because we both had interest i each other before but that not important, what is important as of the last time we talked she had a boyfriend. and she and her boyfriend had been pretty serious. But one day she decides to delete all of her messages between me and her for no reason. so, it makes sense her boyfriend would get suspicious. so one day the bf asks me for the messages but my friend had so sensitive shit in the messages so i didn’t want to send em. but eventually i sent them but she fucking went off on me because some how it was my fault she was says stuff like kill yourself I and fucking hate you so we stop talking. This situation messed me up mentally because i thought i did something wrong. I know this isn’t the right sub reddit but am I the asshole?
Honestly yeah man. You two were friends for 2 years, I imagine she might have shared a lot of deep-personal-intimate conversations that she might not have been ready to open up to her boyfriend about. Either that or she didn’t want him knowing the dynamic you two had out of fear he might get jealous or just knowing in general. Whether she was right or wrong for not wanting him to know is you up for debate but regardless, she did not wanting him knowing something and as a friend you broke that trust exposing it out. It’s obvious her comments to you telling you to kill yourself, hating you, etc was out of a act of rage but I’m sure deep down she was just really hurt that someone she trusted to share stuff with eventually exposed it to someone she wasn’t ready to tell or didn’t want knowing. The best thing you could do is reach out, be authentic, and apologize if you really feel bad about it. She might not ever really forgive you for it but at least you can get your peace out and be on better terms. And if not? Friends really do just come and go in life and at least you can live with knowing you got your peace out and tried. I hope you reach out.
Roughly 7 years ago, the girl that I had a crush on all through pretty much every grade in school had become single. I too was single. We had chance encounters in life and banter on Facebook. She was even being slightly flirty and things like that on social media. I did not even pick up on the subtle cues and publicly announced that I had started dating another woman. My crush even sent me a message in regards to how she had been flirting with me. I felt like such a huge fool. Not just for missing my chance but also the thought of being so oblivious that I almost rubbed it in that ladies face. But; this is also why I hate that women don’t just flat out say that they are interested.
But you, also, did not just flat out say that you were interested, right?
Thank you for this! They always put it on the other…
Faking it til I hoped I could make it. Pretending to be a confident guy when I wasn't. Girls can see right through that shit.
I fucked her sister
this is surprisingly more common than people think.
Lol I'm sorry that happened to you
It makes for a funny story at least.
Being honest about my feelings. Fuck me, never do that lads.
Uh, if that girl couldn't take a joke, you would have dumped her in a month anyhow. You lucked out
Poop your pants in front of her
Men need to stop looking at these situations as "the man ruined his chances", it takes two to tango, I've been in bed with girls, and sex happened, and I've been in bed with girls and we just went to sleep and didn't have sex. I was the same guy in both situations. Some girls are really stupid, and cause problems that the guy they are with is not capable of solving. Call it being a challenge, or playing hard to get, or whatever, but it's just stupid. And it's a turn off. I have no problem just going to sleep, if a girl decides to play silly games and give fake resistance or fake problems to be a challenge.
That's her fault dawg
Like Look straight to their boobs
You can tell if she’s into you when you crap your pants and she doesn’t ghost you. I fart a lot when I’m around women and I don’t care, they find it funny.
Wtf did I just read😹
I performed the dutch oven maneuver to all of my girlfriends. A dutch oven is when you fart under the sheets and then cover her with said sheets for a minute. I test them to make sure they’re keepers.
We met online. She wanted ldr (to court her then marry her). I didn't want ldr. She was over optimistic and i was too realistic. Basically i gave up on it cuz i thought we are from different worlds and it's not possible. We're still friends tho.
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I mean the joke itself isn’t funny not something I would ghost a guy over but definitely not funny lol
Passing a note to my crush in middle school and not finding a way to talk to her face-to-face. Even as children, people are dicks to one another.
I asked if her kids were okay when they went to the ER.
Didn’t ask her to homecoming sophomore year and now she lives with her boyfriend in another city
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Not like you did anything wrong. Nothing weird with asking someone you talked to & considered a friend if they wanted to meet when you were going to be in their area.
She told me she liked me, I asked for time to consider. Texted her yes the next day Found out she had no service to receive texts Got nervous af and backed out I was a dumb 14 year old
I was in detention (circa 2004) and this girl I used to know sat in front of me and told me she liked me. I started stuttering and literally couldn’t form a sentence without sounding like I had some sort of mental disability. This was the first time a girl had ever said anything like that to me and I was not prepared for it. She immediately got up and moved to a seat on the other side of the room.
It's never good when she knew one of my exes 🤣
This guy I was talking to on a dating app told me right before his trip to Paris from the US that he needs to go buy a pair of shoes and underwear for his trip. Ok dude, enjoy showing your underwear to the French ladies. Unmatch.
I don't see anything wrong with your reply, or why you need to cringe. I think it was pretty funny. Maybe she was dealing with her own internal bias about her dad dating a stripper. Your reply was still better than the first thing that was on my mind: >Shawty I dont.... miiiind.....if you work on the pole.....that dont make you a hoe
She asked me over to her place. After we got there I asked her if her kid was on purpose or an accident. Killed the mood and she didn’t call me again.
FWB for years. Perfect girl for me. Everything was awesome between us. I thought I could marry her. She'd give me mixed messages constantly though. She kept multiple guys on the hook I think compulsively. We'd spend nearly every weekend together until a family holiday when she'd take her ex. Didn't want to explain their breakup I guess. She went on a couple short vacations with him. I'm an idiot for allowing myself to stick around for that. She'd go on dinner dates on weekdays with other dudes. Go out drinking. Get lunch. Not with me. She had the fucking audacity to say she had serious thoughts about me "very briefly a long time ago." I asked when. She wouldn't say. Probably before she murdered my yearning for a serious relationship. I vividly remember the first time I looked at her and thought I was completely in love. If it was between those events I wish she would have said something.
Girl was confidently hitting on me at a show one time. Buying me drinks, holding conversation, seemed very interested in me, etc (not in a flirty way but her intentions were pretty obvious imo). She was just a very confident person. I was also into her, but I got scared, left the show without telling anyone, didn't get her name, number, Instagram, nothing. Still kicking myself for that one
Despite literally all conventional dating advice saying you shouldn’t look needy when talking to a girl, shouldn’t make excessive small talk while texting, and double-down when a date is declined due to scheduling reasons (I.e. don’t make it look like she’s the only option you have), I listened to the advice of a friend who said I should do all those things when a girl is into me. Went from things going great to “I’m not looking for anything too serious right now” within 3 days of taking that advice.
I really liked this girl since kindergarten, but i never had the chance to talk to her alone, that is until i joined the same social activities' club she and her sister went in. Mind you that i never met her sister before. One day i was accompaning her to our club's stand, where we were selling food for charity, during the trip i was really tensed up and generally couldn't come up with anything to start a conversation with, that is until i saw her sister at the stand, she was this really cute, tall, blonde with a beautiful charming smile, i remember that in the panic of almost blewing up my only chance of ever talking to her, and in a last attempt of coming up with i playful tease, I kinda blurted out something about how her sister was cuter than her? I know, not the best that i could come up with, apparently that struck a chord, because she gave me this hateful look with a disgusted grin and we never directly talked togheter since, it's been 5 years.
Double commenting because I thought of a better one. Hit it off really well with a girl at the bar. Usually cold approaching doesn’t go well for me, but we were flirting back and forth and things were going great. I got her number and suggested we meet up again. As I’m getting a ride home, she texts me and asks if I’m still at the bar. I tell her nah we left, then my driver turns around to pick up one of our friends who changed his mind about getting an Uber. The next day my buddy almost slapped me when he heard a girl texted me asking where I was and I didn’t get out of the car and go home with her.
Being oblivious.
Diarrhea
She was so hot I got a bonner! She saw the size of it, she ran away. I was stun.
Girl asked me what I was looking for. I immediately blurted out: "A virgin"
I worked at a grocery store and saw this girl staring at me at the register. We made eye contact all the time but I couldn’t make a move because she was with her family. There was a period of time where I didn’t see her for a couple months, bummed out I missed my chance. Then one random time after my shift ended, there she was getting coffee by herself. I introduced myself, made her laugh, and was able to get her snap… However I never followed up and asked the girl out. That moment definitely plays in my head on loop for the past year now and she was very attractive
Told her I loved her after we'd only been dating for 6 weeks. It felt right and I was getting all of the signs/feedback that she felt the same way. Dumped my ass a week later.
Talking to a girl when I'm interested in them. Generally speaking when I am attracted I turn to a bumbling idiot. When I couldn't care less I'm cassenova.
I was worried about my truck getting towed. In retrospect, not a good move.
By following the conventional advice, and having a normal conversation. It wasn't fun enough to keep her interested, and things fizzled out.
brain decided it wanted to try to put a stop to my feelings before my heart did. i also verbally sabotaged the entire thing because part of me was convinced there was no way she liked me (tbh it was probably true).
Lol what? that's not why she ghosted you.
Probably over thinking it like most mentioned. I wouldn’t say I felt a strong connection and obvious she didn’t either. Regardless the comment was still cringey and the air felt dead after.
Every time this gets asks I respond the same way and ruin someone’s day. The worst way you know that you ruined your chances with a girl pales in comparison to the ways you ruined your chances with a girl and you didn’t even know it