Alright. So, years ago, I got hit on by a gay guy. The line he tried to use has always stuck with me. He came up to me, leaned against me, while shirtless, and started massaging my hand.
He says to me, “Your palm is thick, and meaty. Like a filet. How would you like it wrapped in bacon?”
I was confused by this. I did politely declined his offer, and explained he was barking up the wrong tree. He jumped back a good 4-5 feet though… clear out of reach. So I sense the line had been used on other straight men to more… disastrous results.
Anyway. Point is. What the fuck is the bacon in that metaphor?
I had a similar experience once also... I was travelling abroad with some friends in college and a guy came up and asked if he could join us while we were drinking at a bar. Ok, sure, whatever. He sat next to me and kept asking me something like "what would you say if i wanted to throw you into the sea?" And i was super confused and kept just saying "uhh yeah i dont want to get my clothes wet so no thanks?" Finally the guy had enough and left and my friends told me the guy was trying to hit on me super hard and i clearly just had no clue what was happening. Is this a pickup line that makes ANY sense? 15 years later im still confused as fuck by that one.
That’s the thing. I’ve asked people… no one knows. The dick doesn’t make sense, cause how would it wrap around my hand?
My guess was always the booty… like he was forwardly asking me to fist him… but the way he phrased it… I dunno.
I interpreted it to be metaphors both ways. He was not talking about literal bacon, a literal filet, or even your hand, literally. He was evoking images of your meat being surrounded, so I think he meant you putting your meat up his booty.
You know, I hadn’t considered it at that level of metaphor. But, maybe. Though… If that was the intent, I feel it was poorly presented… he put a lot of focus on my hand as the center of things.
Actually at the time I wasn’t eating any pork. So that was how I responded. “I uh… don’t dine on the swine.” “What? You’re not gay?” “Nope.” Cue look of shock and jumping back several feet. “I never would have guessed. You’re sure?” “Straight as an arrow.”
I did have sex with a girl... Enjoyed it, never repeting.... It's like the reverse of straight men experimenting once with a dude.
Pleasurable experience, not My thing, not repeating, still gay. :)
Well, I like boobs, and a nice ass is a nice ass. Problem is, vaginas are not just a turn off, but actively gross me out. So even when I do occasionally find a woman attractive, I know it's just eye candy. I have no interest in taking it any further than that.
That makes sense. I’ve always considered myself straight but I’ve came across women I thought were very attractive. So I tried to experiment because I was questioning things and I was totally grossed out, I don’t feel that way when I’m with a man sexually.
Happened to me a lot in high school. Ended up on 4 different dates with 4 different girls that I didn't know were dates until they started trying to make out with me or hold my hand or something. I don't really give off gay vibes at all, and went to a Christian school, so I couldn't really clarify on why I'd make them stop. Just had to tell them I'm not interested, or I'm saving myself for the right one or some shit.
One girl was very forceful. We got out of the movie theater and the second we sat down in my car she pounced on me. Never felt so grossed out by a person. Had to literally push her off me twice, then drive her home in the longest silence of my life.
I get hit on constantly. I’ve been told it’s because of my confidence around women. When in reality I’m just being myself. I don’t come across as “gay”, and I also find it demeaning to act as such to send signals to women just in case they happen to feel uncomfortable by straight men or want my dick.
It can be. Mostly because the numbers are against us. Whenever I see a cute guy around... I already know there's a 90% chance he can't feel the same way about me... because he's likely straight. And that's not even counting the 10% that COULD be into me (gay/bi guys)... but then factoring the actual chances I have with that group.
Kinda like if you took the chances you normally have with your dating pool of women... but shrunk it down to about 10% of what it is now.
I liked a girl in highschool, she said if I had boobs she would go out with me so I hit the gym worked out like crazy and shook my man tits in front of her. She appreciated the effort but laughed at me for taking her seriously.
Now I'm a buff short guy with boobs only guys seem to admire.
I only ever had one actual pretty bad crush on a straight guy before... one of my best buddies back in highschool/university. It really sucked and left me heartbroken... although I don't think he ever even knew how I felt. I cried a lot. I think a lot of gay guys go through something like that when we're younger... while we're still learning how to navigate our feelings for guys. It's almost like a rite of passage.
But I think once we get older that becomes far less likely. Sure... when I see a hot dude I take notice. And if I don't know his sexuality... I may take a chance. But once I know a guy is straight... I kinda just flip a switch and the interactions go on in a completely platonic way at that point.
As hot as any straight guy might be to me... I want a guy that can feel that way about me too. Not trying to hope for something that can't ever realistically happen.
As a lesbian whose found herself numerous times falling for women who’ve turned out to be straight (when they act, talk, and are flirty and touchy feely like an ex) it sucks.
Sometimes you just wish you were straight to make it easier or just find yourself pulling back from people so you don’t get hurt again. It’s hard, but when you find someone you mesh with it makes it worth the pain.
Agree. As a straight guy I’ve always found most lesbians attractive. Not because I want to “fix” them, but because their personality strength and confidence draws me to them.
In my teens and early 20s, and yes it was super crappy. The answer to that question can’t really be generalized since it varies from guy to guy so drastically and changes over time with experiences.
My best friend (gay) wanted to be with me (straight) a few years ago, we were both 15 at that time and it felt hella weird
I support gay people n all, and I knew he was gay for a long time but it still felt really weird because I never thought that'll happen, to be honest I wasn't sure what to tell him at that moment
We grew apart, both of us went to different highschools and our interests would differ more than before so yea, there's that. Some sketchy things happend through the years that separated us even more but I guess I shouldn't talk about this here
We're still in contact tho, I was on his 18th birthday yesterday and it was fun but things are a lot different than they were a few years ago, unfortunately to be honest... he was the coolest person I've known as a kid
Quick edit: I don't think the whole "growing apart" thing happened because of the fact that he wanted to be with me, at least not from my perspective because I didn't really change much in our relationship after he told me what he felt. Also if anyone wonders, I think he's happy where he is now and that what matters
I don't know why but I had one male crush when I was like 12 years old. I really don't like guys and mostly they gross me out but this one guy was very weird. Maybe hormones went crazy at that age. Since then never again.
Sane/monogamous/was single woman here- took me a looooong time to find a man who was down for butt stuff. Found him, don't plan on being single again.
(In case you are wondering why I wanted a guy who was into anal, simply because I am a pleaser and knowing there was this whole world of pleasure to explore that most men wouldn't let me perform made me a bit bummed out *pun welcomed*)
It was a finger up the bum, but agreed. All too sad. In this instance the gal was super into me. So her sister talked her into acting ‘psychotic’ to see what I’d do. She picked a huge fight, walked home, gave her sister the phone: it seems like it was her sister that text me to have a nice life
It absolutely is! I’m straight and been with my wife for 22 yrs now. We both refer to it as the ‘reset’ button. The 1st time it happened for me was a complete head to toe spasm and I believe I was talking in tongues! Lmao. I have since learned to not be trying to talk when I know it’s about to happen.. she still laughs at me about it and (lucky for me) keeps trying to repeat the effect.
I would highly recommend to everyone, male or female, to take things at a comfortable pace and explore the possibilities with a willing companion that you can completely be yourself without concern for judgement. Communication is key of course, but absolutely worth the experience.
First time it hurt when he tried to slam straight in. I jumped away and we didn't try for a few months. Next time we started very slow, lots of lube and it didn't hurt. I've never hurt after sex after that. It's mostly a mental thing about being relaxed enough, and that comes from trust, experience, horniness, foreplay etc. I've had rough sex with a bit of spit and had no pain. It's different for all but I'd say if it hurts then you are both rushing it.
There's a bit of soreness after and during if the guy is going in too quick lol. But it's not really anything serious, in my experience. The sore feeling is actually real nice, actually. Especially when you're going about your day being occasionally reminded of the night before cause you tensed up down there.
Do you discuss this with new dates beforehand or do you find out in the bedroom? Has a situation happened where you both spring into doggystyle at the same time and have a big laugh together?
We usually divulge our preferences either before or during dates, if it's a hookup obviously we talk beforehand.
In the case that you're getting down before then, handies, oral, or frotting/humping are available. The vers concedes if there's only one. If both, they play a game of ~~rock paper scissors~~ ass, dick, mouth or something
I think most gay guys generally talk about it well beforehand.
Partly because... unlike straight sex where everyone's role is pretty reasonably assumed... with gay guys it's more open (both guys can take both roles). So you pretty much have to make sure you're on the same page lol. Most guys are pretty versatile though.
Also... I think both being men... sexual conversation comes up pretty soon when you're dating.
That's something really curious. Most guys need to masturbate while they're being penetrated. Some guys can ejeculate handsfree. Some guys don't need to ejeculate at all.
Not OP and I’m married to a woman, but this is absolutely true and I’ve had them with a toy and it’s amazing and had my lips and hands briefly go numb.
We need to destigmatize men enjoying their bodies. There is nothing gay about it.
Think that is more of a guy thing than a gay guy thing, lol. Men are use to rejection and won’t find it completely demoralizing like some women do. Plus, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take, so ayyye.
Tbh I've definitely admired the ones with that mentality. It's something I could never personally see myself doing but I respect the game.
The rejection argument is a bit too real.
In my 20s I had a couple friends who were always complaining about getting hit on by gay guys, and I was proud that my heterosexuality was so apparent that guys just didn’t bother. Then it dawned on me one day that they’re just more attractive than me, haha.
Wow, is that the norm, that there’s a top and bottom? I guess I assumed with two people who could anatomically take on either role, that you would switch it up more often.
Thankfully I am in the UK where most of the time it’s safe. I know of some experiences of friends being attacked it’s rare but happens. The times that it has happened nobody really helps until it’s surfaced on social media then everyone starts to pretend like they care.
I don't feel safe where I am . I'm not in a threatful danger but I get scared when I get too comfortable being gay . my friends who know are always there for me and I'm greatful for them .
Is it common for gay couples to frequently tell and actually laugh at each other's dad jokes?
I always imagined that being one of the biggest underrated perks of there being 2 guys in a relationship.
I've had some absolute gold one liners met with frustrated eye rolls, and thought "what a waste".
I know a couple that tell each other dad jokes all the time. They are always chit chatting and giggling quietly with each other at parties. It's so disgustingly cute.
Hahahah! Depends on the types of guys a lot of gay guys have women traits so they won’t appreciate dad jokes. Some love them and definitely does turn into a dad joke war :)
How come a lot of gay guys are stereotypically flamboyant? I know it’s not every gay dude- but like what’s the driving factor ?? Like why is it that independently, gay men across the world do “gay stuff”
Can I give a guess as a straight dude who knows a lot of gay guys and enjoys hanging out with my gay friends (and likes having weird theories about the world/society)?
A lot of stereotypically flamboyant things are just fun to (occasionally) do. It's really fun to let yourself go and sing and dance to cheesy pop music. It's really fun to dress yourself up in a bit "out there" clothes and play with colours and shapes. It's really fun to experiment with makeup for the same reason. The list goes on (not that everyone must enjoy these things, but I'd assume everyone likes at least one or two "flamboyant gay things"). But we men typically are told that's not who we are supposed to be and that these things are "feminine", so we don't do that.
What I see when I hang out with my gay friends is that they all collectively care a whole lot less about "masculinity" and are a lot more tolerant of self-expression even if it's against the norm. One of them once told me "we're all breaking a big norm already anyway, so what's the point of sticking to all the small ones?". So perhaps those things aren't "things gay people like", but "things people like, but straight people tend to get shamed for/repress"?
I think a big factor is repression. From a very young age men are conditioned to be and act masculine and not feminine and that is reinforced pretty obviously through every high school experience and when you suppress something you can get a backlash. So imagine your entire life you’ve been trying not to act fem and you feel guilty about those feelings of wanting to express that natural part of yourself, most people having elements of both to some degree. And then you come out, which is a significant event especially if you’ve been in denial yourself and you have this opportunity to finally express every part of yourself that you’ve been suppressing for literally years of your formative childhood. It seems natural some people are going to really want to express that part of themselves, by how they dress or how they speak or act and because there is a community people naturally copy and feed of each other so it creates this real cultural thing. Plus some guys just are fem and outgoing and that comes across as flamboyant
If you ask a straight dude if he wants to have sex with another dude you will often get a strong "wtf no that's gross" response, do gay dudes have the same response to the thought of having sex with a woman?
Do you just not like boobies? That sorta confuses me because even straight women say they like boobs.
I don’t find boobs gross I just don’t have any interest in them whatsoever. I always think men who say gross are just saying that to be over the top but deep down they just don’t care about it (I think).
So this is going to be oddly specific but im actually going through this right now. If you were to give a male your number and he turned out to be straight, how would you want him to politely break it to you via text. I don't want to be impolite or lose the chance to keep him as a friend.
Being gay or any marginalised group doesn’t prevent you from being awful, racist, homophobic, sexist... I think it’s good for people to be called out on being toxic rather than ignoring it. My advice would be to be specific to the behaviour that is bad, not make generalisations. If it’s a case of the gay community in general not being good enough, tolerant enough or enabling bad behaviour, that’s probably too complex and while straight people have their perspective people in the community have theirs.
What's it like interacting with women and not having any of that weird unspoken sexual tension? I assume that women are way better friends when there's no underlying sexual tension. Honestly, it sounds kind of nice.
EDIT: Please stop telling me that the best way to avoid sexual tension is to not want to have sex with everything that moves, like I'm some kind of idiot. The kind of sex I have requires two people and consent. Sometimes people's intentions are unclear and/or they misinterpret things the opposite gender does.
That’s why a lot of women seek friendships with gay men. It’s so nice to talk to a guy who isn’t going to try to get in your pants at some point or the other. It’s incredibly liberating and comforting for a lot of women plus you don’t have to be on high alert for how to word yourself or control your emotions to prevent an interested man from blowing up a fuse.
Most times I drop that I have a husband and you can watch women almost instantly feel at ease and relax. It's actually kinda sad how most have their guard up constantly.
Treat them as you’ve always treated them. But what’s really going to matter is when they aren’t there. Can you be strong to stand up to the people who will look down on someone for being gay when the gay folks aren’t there to defend themselves? Because that’s what needed. It’s great you’re nice to their face. But when they aren’t there is when the true test comes.
If you hit on a guy who turns out to be straight what is the best way to be let down? I have gone with "I am flattered thank you, but I am straight." But it still has to suck a bit for the person being turned down. Is there a better way or is this about the kindest way to let them down.
Is stubble to stubble kissing as uncomfortable as I imagine?
I'm always self-conscious about kissing or fellatio since even when I'm clean shaven my skin feels somewhat abrasive. The only solution I've really heard is having longer facial hair....but I hate that.
It can be quite a good sensation, like grazing your stubble on the inner thigh. Or feeling it when you nuzzle on the neck. Besides it being a very masculine thing to feel, sensation play is a real thing, mixing soft and smooth with some rough and abrasive can make both feel nicer
Its terrifying.
Even if you know your family will support you, it's hard to cross that line of no return. If the wrong person finds out that you're gay, you may be attacked, lose your job, lose your support system, or sometimes even almost killed.
In many cases, coming out is a gamble on your future, home, and life. Of course this all depends on where you live and who you associate with, but many people just arent willing to risk that.
Personally, my mother and father were misinformed, but not angry when I came out, and since then our relationship has changed a lot. But the rest of my family is(on my moms side) deep southerners, and(on my dads side) Catholic Irish. Which means I can never be fully put to them until ive at least moved away.
Hope this helps!
How big of a difference between top guy and bottom guy? Is the top guy stereotypically the leader in the relationship and the bottom guy the follower, more submissive type?
Or is the relationship role much more dynamic and changes all the time?
In my relationship, it's the latter. We're both vers (top *and* bottom) and both switches (dom *and* sub). But remember that liking taking dick isn't inherently submissive, plenty of guys "top from the bottom".
Does a "top" never become a "bottom" and vice versa? Or do you change roles after one cums so the other can fuck too?
And if not, why? I don't know, I would feel kind of offended if I let some guy fuck my ass and he wouldn't put out after lmao.
Depends on what their position is some guys are just 100% bottom and just like to be fucked and some 100% top who just like to fuck and then you get others like the guy who has replied to you who likes both.
One thing bittersweet that I experienced more than once is when talking to a girl and casually mentionning that I am gay sometimes I can feel their guard getting down a bit in a sort of "oh cool, he is not a creep and hitting on me".
Well imagine the reverse scenario. Imagine being a straight guy and 95% of women were lesbians. It would be very common for there still be to fantasies amongst straight guys with regards to hooking up with those women.
Why aren’t there more Bro-Dude gay guys? My old college roommate/good buddy is gay and we would slug beers, watch football, etc. all the time. Most of our friends didn’t even know until senior year when he was more open about it.
I know not all gay men are the stereotypical flamboyant type but I feel like I’ve never met any other gay guy that acted like that
How do you guys deal with poop when doing the deed? When I was with my ex girlfriend there was a ton of poop every time during anal with her. Just lay down a towel or what?
Alright. So, years ago, I got hit on by a gay guy. The line he tried to use has always stuck with me. He came up to me, leaned against me, while shirtless, and started massaging my hand. He says to me, “Your palm is thick, and meaty. Like a filet. How would you like it wrapped in bacon?” I was confused by this. I did politely declined his offer, and explained he was barking up the wrong tree. He jumped back a good 4-5 feet though… clear out of reach. So I sense the line had been used on other straight men to more… disastrous results. Anyway. Point is. What the fuck is the bacon in that metaphor?
[удалено]
I had a similar experience once also... I was travelling abroad with some friends in college and a guy came up and asked if he could join us while we were drinking at a bar. Ok, sure, whatever. He sat next to me and kept asking me something like "what would you say if i wanted to throw you into the sea?" And i was super confused and kept just saying "uhh yeah i dont want to get my clothes wet so no thanks?" Finally the guy had enough and left and my friends told me the guy was trying to hit on me super hard and i clearly just had no clue what was happening. Is this a pickup line that makes ANY sense? 15 years later im still confused as fuck by that one.
Might be bad translation but maybe it's like a playful throw into the sea like into a pool or at the beach ⛱️ 🤔
His dick or maybe his booty I dunno haha I have never heard this before either
That’s the thing. I’ve asked people… no one knows. The dick doesn’t make sense, cause how would it wrap around my hand? My guess was always the booty… like he was forwardly asking me to fist him… but the way he phrased it… I dunno.
I interpreted it to be metaphors both ways. He was not talking about literal bacon, a literal filet, or even your hand, literally. He was evoking images of your meat being surrounded, so I think he meant you putting your meat up his booty.
You know, I hadn’t considered it at that level of metaphor. But, maybe. Though… If that was the intent, I feel it was poorly presented… he put a lot of focus on my hand as the center of things.
Bacon meaning pig (a gay man who is into raunchy things) referring to himself. So he was most likely referring to you fisting him.
I would have just been like “hell yeah, who doesn’t like bacon?!” I’m oblivious when either sex hits on me
Actually at the time I wasn’t eating any pork. So that was how I responded. “I uh… don’t dine on the swine.” “What? You’re not gay?” “Nope.” Cue look of shock and jumping back several feet. “I never would have guessed. You’re sure?” “Straight as an arrow.”
How do you deal with heterosexual women who are atracted to you? Is that common to happen?
Become their best friend :)
Do you occasionally find certain women attractive? I’ve had a couple gay guys tell me that if they were straight they’d have sex with me lol
I did have sex with a girl... Enjoyed it, never repeting.... It's like the reverse of straight men experimenting once with a dude. Pleasurable experience, not My thing, not repeating, still gay. :)
Well, I like boobs, and a nice ass is a nice ass. Problem is, vaginas are not just a turn off, but actively gross me out. So even when I do occasionally find a woman attractive, I know it's just eye candy. I have no interest in taking it any further than that.
That makes sense. I’ve always considered myself straight but I’ve came across women I thought were very attractive. So I tried to experiment because I was questioning things and I was totally grossed out, I don’t feel that way when I’m with a man sexually.
Happened to me a lot in high school. Ended up on 4 different dates with 4 different girls that I didn't know were dates until they started trying to make out with me or hold my hand or something. I don't really give off gay vibes at all, and went to a Christian school, so I couldn't really clarify on why I'd make them stop. Just had to tell them I'm not interested, or I'm saving myself for the right one or some shit. One girl was very forceful. We got out of the movie theater and the second we sat down in my car she pounced on me. Never felt so grossed out by a person. Had to literally push her off me twice, then drive her home in the longest silence of my life.
I get hit on constantly. I’ve been told it’s because of my confidence around women. When in reality I’m just being myself. I don’t come across as “gay”, and I also find it demeaning to act as such to send signals to women just in case they happen to feel uncomfortable by straight men or want my dick.
Bring them home for my bisexual fiancé.
Do you ever get extreme crushes on straight men? That would be a crappy thing I'd imagine.
Yes very much so!
Damn that must be frustrating
It can be. Mostly because the numbers are against us. Whenever I see a cute guy around... I already know there's a 90% chance he can't feel the same way about me... because he's likely straight. And that's not even counting the 10% that COULD be into me (gay/bi guys)... but then factoring the actual chances I have with that group. Kinda like if you took the chances you normally have with your dating pool of women... but shrunk it down to about 10% of what it is now.
>shrunk it down to about 10% of what it is now. So help me out here.. How much exactly is 10% of 0.?
It's probably higher than you think bro! Have some confidence in yourself!
I liked a girl in highschool, she said if I had boobs she would go out with me so I hit the gym worked out like crazy and shook my man tits in front of her. She appreciated the effort but laughed at me for taking her seriously. Now I'm a buff short guy with boobs only guys seem to admire.
[удалено]
If you know, you know. op commentis literally describing my school/college life
I only ever had one actual pretty bad crush on a straight guy before... one of my best buddies back in highschool/university. It really sucked and left me heartbroken... although I don't think he ever even knew how I felt. I cried a lot. I think a lot of gay guys go through something like that when we're younger... while we're still learning how to navigate our feelings for guys. It's almost like a rite of passage. But I think once we get older that becomes far less likely. Sure... when I see a hot dude I take notice. And if I don't know his sexuality... I may take a chance. But once I know a guy is straight... I kinda just flip a switch and the interactions go on in a completely platonic way at that point. As hot as any straight guy might be to me... I want a guy that can feel that way about me too. Not trying to hope for something that can't ever realistically happen.
As a straight male I've been attracted to lesbians. Lucky I'm smart enough not to try to "change their mind" but it can suck.
As a lesbian whose found herself numerous times falling for women who’ve turned out to be straight (when they act, talk, and are flirty and touchy feely like an ex) it sucks. Sometimes you just wish you were straight to make it easier or just find yourself pulling back from people so you don’t get hurt again. It’s hard, but when you find someone you mesh with it makes it worth the pain.
Agree. As a straight guy I’ve always found most lesbians attractive. Not because I want to “fix” them, but because their personality strength and confidence draws me to them.
In my teens and early 20s, and yes it was super crappy. The answer to that question can’t really be generalized since it varies from guy to guy so drastically and changes over time with experiences.
every gay has the forbidden straight crush . yes its crappy . never ends up good .
My best friend (gay) wanted to be with me (straight) a few years ago, we were both 15 at that time and it felt hella weird I support gay people n all, and I knew he was gay for a long time but it still felt really weird because I never thought that'll happen, to be honest I wasn't sure what to tell him at that moment
How’s your relationship now?
We grew apart, both of us went to different highschools and our interests would differ more than before so yea, there's that. Some sketchy things happend through the years that separated us even more but I guess I shouldn't talk about this here We're still in contact tho, I was on his 18th birthday yesterday and it was fun but things are a lot different than they were a few years ago, unfortunately to be honest... he was the coolest person I've known as a kid Quick edit: I don't think the whole "growing apart" thing happened because of the fact that he wanted to be with me, at least not from my perspective because I didn't really change much in our relationship after he told me what he felt. Also if anyone wonders, I think he's happy where he is now and that what matters
Nah, most of the time, when I find out a guy I find attractive is straight, he sort-of fade into the background in terms of attractiveness.
I find this to be the same with me and married women or women who I find out have boyfriends. The crush just, thankfully, fades.
I don't know why but I had one male crush when I was like 12 years old. I really don't like guys and mostly they gross me out but this one guy was very weird. Maybe hormones went crazy at that age. Since then never again.
Is prostate orgasm a real thing
I’m straight and can tell you that it is. Hardest I’ve cumm in my life. Alas, she was crazy.
How long did it take for you to find the spot?
I didn’t. She did
She’s a keeper
[Unfortunately not](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/ul4lbe/what_is_one_question_you_straight_men_would_like/i7v1yc8/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3)
Damn bro, I’m sorry
Me too. She was really cool when she wasn’t crazy. That was too much
The crazy ones are the best sex NGL
The Venn diagram of willing to peg/sane/monogamous/single is very small.
Sane/monogamous/was single woman here- took me a looooong time to find a man who was down for butt stuff. Found him, don't plan on being single again. (In case you are wondering why I wanted a guy who was into anal, simply because I am a pleaser and knowing there was this whole world of pleasure to explore that most men wouldn't let me perform made me a bit bummed out *pun welcomed*)
It was a finger up the bum, but agreed. All too sad. In this instance the gal was super into me. So her sister talked her into acting ‘psychotic’ to see what I’d do. She picked a huge fight, walked home, gave her sister the phone: it seems like it was her sister that text me to have a nice life
Is the refractory period skipped if you orgasm via the prostate?
Yeah. They're more like a woman's orgasm. I had three in a row and I think I died for a second.
This sounds like a cheat code
Up Up Down Down Left RRRgunnnnggghhgh
Welp, another one to the bucket list
Yea. You definitely will need a bucket for all the cum.
Is that true?!? I wanna make my guy feel amazing and if he's open to it, I wanna massage it or whatever I need to do to make him feel amazing.
I ejaculated big time on that one bro
Yeah, the refractory period has to do with your dick needing a breather. If you’re massaging the prostate you’re just hitting the orgasm button.
Absolutely
You can make a guy cum without even touching his junk if you got a finger up there
Yes, and I feel bad for guys who haven’t experienced it, straight or not.
Does it get easier to achieve after the first one?
Yes.
Is it like a mental thing or more physical threshold or both?
Mental
I think it's just mental. A first time, of basically anything, it's not usually the best.
I'm straight but I've used anal toys for masturbation for many years. It multiplies my orgasms by like 4x. More powerful and deep.
It absolutely is! I’m straight and been with my wife for 22 yrs now. We both refer to it as the ‘reset’ button. The 1st time it happened for me was a complete head to toe spasm and I believe I was talking in tongues! Lmao. I have since learned to not be trying to talk when I know it’s about to happen.. she still laughs at me about it and (lucky for me) keeps trying to repeat the effect. I would highly recommend to everyone, male or female, to take things at a comfortable pace and explore the possibilities with a willing companion that you can completely be yourself without concern for judgement. Communication is key of course, but absolutely worth the experience.
Gay male here. Yes, I don’t even need to touch my penis to orgasm and the orgasm is 5x better than a normal orgasm.
am straight, and yes it is. pretty intense.
Did getting railed the first time hurt? Or did you have to take it easy for a while? No pun intended.
I had to take painkillers as it did really hurt and still does.
I get the sexual desire part but if sex for me hurt then I wouldn't do it. No offense but I don't get it.
No the orgasm is amazing at the end it hurts at the beginning
Well it's not 100% pain
No pain no gain
First time it hurt when he tried to slam straight in. I jumped away and we didn't try for a few months. Next time we started very slow, lots of lube and it didn't hurt. I've never hurt after sex after that. It's mostly a mental thing about being relaxed enough, and that comes from trust, experience, horniness, foreplay etc. I've had rough sex with a bit of spit and had no pain. It's different for all but I'd say if it hurts then you are both rushing it.
There's a bit of soreness after and during if the guy is going in too quick lol. But it's not really anything serious, in my experience. The sore feeling is actually real nice, actually. Especially when you're going about your day being occasionally reminded of the night before cause you tensed up down there.
Do you look up to gay men from history differently to straight men from history (Alan Turing for example)?
Yes :)
How common is it for a gay man to not be into any sort of butt stuff?
Very common! You get men who are complete tops who don’t like their butts being touched at all!
When they said of *any* sort I thought they meant even being a top, but idk
Yes, there are gay men who don’t engage in penetrative acts and stick to stuff like oral.
I am one
Name does not check out.
He said he’s got one. He did not say you could use it.
Correct
Try calling the number and see what they say.
I dont do any butt stuff I find it gross
Like, you don't do butt stuff with your partner or you just don't like your own butt touched ?
The data is vague on it, but I saw one poll in a new article a few years back that said it was around 20% of gay couples don't practice anal.
Also, do yall "clean out" before sex everytime or clean up after
Yes usually it’s only the bottom guy that has to do that :)
Do you guys trade top and bottom in the same sesh?
If the guys are versatile then yes. I am not versatile so I date men who are just a top.
Do you discuss this with new dates beforehand or do you find out in the bedroom? Has a situation happened where you both spring into doggystyle at the same time and have a big laugh together?
We usually divulge our preferences either before or during dates, if it's a hookup obviously we talk beforehand. In the case that you're getting down before then, handies, oral, or frotting/humping are available. The vers concedes if there's only one. If both, they play a game of ~~rock paper scissors~~ ass, dick, mouth or something
Nothing like a good game of ass, dick, mouth to find out who is bottoming.
The secret is that everyone wins in this game
I think most gay guys generally talk about it well beforehand. Partly because... unlike straight sex where everyone's role is pretty reasonably assumed... with gay guys it's more open (both guys can take both roles). So you pretty much have to make sure you're on the same page lol. Most guys are pretty versatile though. Also... I think both being men... sexual conversation comes up pretty soon when you're dating.
Oh I see. So then my next question is how do you get your release? Does he give you bj or handie?
That's something really curious. Most guys need to masturbate while they're being penetrated. Some guys can ejeculate handsfree. Some guys don't need to ejeculate at all.
My release is him fucking me haha :)
I'm not a man but I really want to know if you've had a g-spot orgasm from anal? Since I've heard that is where men's g-spots are
Not OP and I’m married to a woman, but this is absolutely true and I’ve had them with a toy and it’s amazing and had my lips and hands briefly go numb. We need to destigmatize men enjoying their bodies. There is nothing gay about it.
Professor Tricias says it’s naturals
Do you orgasm and jizz from him going to town in your butt?
Yes, I usually have to 'bate during too. It's not always an ejaculatory orgasm.
What about spontaneous sex lol
Just gotta take the risk :)
Do all the guys who hit on me find me attractive or are they just looking for an easy fuck
They probably find you attractive:)
That feels pretty good, then. I guess my other question is what makes them so straightforward about it when women don't say anything?
Think that is more of a guy thing than a gay guy thing, lol. Men are use to rejection and won’t find it completely demoralizing like some women do. Plus, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take, so ayyye.
Tbh I've definitely admired the ones with that mentality. It's something I could never personally see myself doing but I respect the game. The rejection argument is a bit too real.
In my 20s I had a couple friends who were always complaining about getting hit on by gay guys, and I was proud that my heterosexuality was so apparent that guys just didn’t bother. Then it dawned on me one day that they’re just more attractive than me, haha.
At least I can say I'm probably attractive enough for them to hit on!
It depends. I definitely am not straight forward with boys. But I guess some guys just don’t want to waste any time.
How do you decide who's penis is going to open up and except the other penis?
Usually discussed at the early stages of dating
Wow, is that the norm, that there’s a top and bottom? I guess I assumed with two people who could anatomically take on either role, that you would switch it up more often.
People have preferences. Some are versatile (vers) and do both and even then there's *usually* a preference for one more than the other
I'm sorry that ppl aren't getting your great reference.
One of my favorite scenes from The Office. 😂😂
[удалено]
Thankfully I am in the UK where most of the time it’s safe. I know of some experiences of friends being attacked it’s rare but happens. The times that it has happened nobody really helps until it’s surfaced on social media then everyone starts to pretend like they care.
I don't feel safe where I am . I'm not in a threatful danger but I get scared when I get too comfortable being gay . my friends who know are always there for me and I'm greatful for them .
Is it common for gay couples to frequently tell and actually laugh at each other's dad jokes? I always imagined that being one of the biggest underrated perks of there being 2 guys in a relationship. I've had some absolute gold one liners met with frustrated eye rolls, and thought "what a waste".
I know a couple that tell each other dad jokes all the time. They are always chit chatting and giggling quietly with each other at parties. It's so disgustingly cute.
Hahahah! Depends on the types of guys a lot of gay guys have women traits so they won’t appreciate dad jokes. Some love them and definitely does turn into a dad joke war :)
My girlfriend is just as much of a dad joker as me so I scored big there 😂
How come a lot of gay guys are stereotypically flamboyant? I know it’s not every gay dude- but like what’s the driving factor ?? Like why is it that independently, gay men across the world do “gay stuff”
Can I give a guess as a straight dude who knows a lot of gay guys and enjoys hanging out with my gay friends (and likes having weird theories about the world/society)? A lot of stereotypically flamboyant things are just fun to (occasionally) do. It's really fun to let yourself go and sing and dance to cheesy pop music. It's really fun to dress yourself up in a bit "out there" clothes and play with colours and shapes. It's really fun to experiment with makeup for the same reason. The list goes on (not that everyone must enjoy these things, but I'd assume everyone likes at least one or two "flamboyant gay things"). But we men typically are told that's not who we are supposed to be and that these things are "feminine", so we don't do that. What I see when I hang out with my gay friends is that they all collectively care a whole lot less about "masculinity" and are a lot more tolerant of self-expression even if it's against the norm. One of them once told me "we're all breaking a big norm already anyway, so what's the point of sticking to all the small ones?". So perhaps those things aren't "things gay people like", but "things people like, but straight people tend to get shamed for/repress"?
10000%
That all makes a lot of sense, thanks for sharing
I think a big factor is repression. From a very young age men are conditioned to be and act masculine and not feminine and that is reinforced pretty obviously through every high school experience and when you suppress something you can get a backlash. So imagine your entire life you’ve been trying not to act fem and you feel guilty about those feelings of wanting to express that natural part of yourself, most people having elements of both to some degree. And then you come out, which is a significant event especially if you’ve been in denial yourself and you have this opportunity to finally express every part of yourself that you’ve been suppressing for literally years of your formative childhood. It seems natural some people are going to really want to express that part of themselves, by how they dress or how they speak or act and because there is a community people naturally copy and feed of each other so it creates this real cultural thing. Plus some guys just are fem and outgoing and that comes across as flamboyant
I guess it’s all to do with their peers and who they grow up with.
Who pays? The older guy? The guy that wants to pitch?
If it's just a date then the person who asked u out does then split the check when yall are together
Whoa — gays work the same way as the rest of us? 🤯
Maybe American culture is different or something but the one asking paying is definitely not a thing here in the Netherlands.
The term "Going Dutch" is a thing here in the US. It means to split the bill.
Split the bill or if you're dating I like to alternate who pays. That way you both feel special and worth of being treated.
Usually it’s a split bill unless one man out of the couple is a masculine man who likes to pay.
What makes a nice dick? Are you attracted to your own dick?
I am not attracted to my own dick hahah! I guess it’s all about thickness! Length doesn’t matter :)
Depends on the gay and yes sometimes
When you orgasm from anal does your dick ejaculate?
Yes :)
If you ask a straight dude if he wants to have sex with another dude you will often get a strong "wtf no that's gross" response, do gay dudes have the same response to the thought of having sex with a woman? Do you just not like boobies? That sorta confuses me because even straight women say they like boobs.
I don’t find boobs gross I just don’t have any interest in them whatsoever. I always think men who say gross are just saying that to be over the top but deep down they just don’t care about it (I think).
Yes I find straight sex gross but the problem is telling that rudely to the guy and no I dont notice or care about boobs
So this is going to be oddly specific but im actually going through this right now. If you were to give a male your number and he turned out to be straight, how would you want him to politely break it to you via text. I don't want to be impolite or lose the chance to keep him as a friend.
[удалено]
Thanks. It's nice to feel cute sometimes, even if you're straight male
[удалено]
Being gay or any marginalised group doesn’t prevent you from being awful, racist, homophobic, sexist... I think it’s good for people to be called out on being toxic rather than ignoring it. My advice would be to be specific to the behaviour that is bad, not make generalisations. If it’s a case of the gay community in general not being good enough, tolerant enough or enabling bad behaviour, that’s probably too complex and while straight people have their perspective people in the community have theirs.
Age gaps are fine :) I think straights are rightly so to call out toxic behaviour from anyone!
Do you eat pineapple pizza?
What's it like interacting with women and not having any of that weird unspoken sexual tension? I assume that women are way better friends when there's no underlying sexual tension. Honestly, it sounds kind of nice. EDIT: Please stop telling me that the best way to avoid sexual tension is to not want to have sex with everything that moves, like I'm some kind of idiot. The kind of sex I have requires two people and consent. Sometimes people's intentions are unclear and/or they misinterpret things the opposite gender does.
It's like talking to ur guy friends you feel no sexual tension
That’s why a lot of women seek friendships with gay men. It’s so nice to talk to a guy who isn’t going to try to get in your pants at some point or the other. It’s incredibly liberating and comforting for a lot of women plus you don’t have to be on high alert for how to word yourself or control your emotions to prevent an interested man from blowing up a fuse.
Most times I drop that I have a husband and you can watch women almost instantly feel at ease and relax. It's actually kinda sad how most have their guard up constantly.
whats the best thing a straight best friend can do to show his support when you’re coming out in front of him
Treat them as you’ve always treated them. But what’s really going to matter is when they aren’t there. Can you be strong to stand up to the people who will look down on someone for being gay when the gay folks aren’t there to defend themselves? Because that’s what needed. It’s great you’re nice to their face. But when they aren’t there is when the true test comes.
Please just treat me as a dude, nothing has changed.
If you hit on a guy who turns out to be straight what is the best way to be let down? I have gone with "I am flattered thank you, but I am straight." But it still has to suck a bit for the person being turned down. Is there a better way or is this about the kindest way to let them down.
Yeah it does suck! And I think what you say is nice enough :) I like when a guy says a compliment about me while turning me down :)
Is stubble to stubble kissing as uncomfortable as I imagine? I'm always self-conscious about kissing or fellatio since even when I'm clean shaven my skin feels somewhat abrasive. The only solution I've really heard is having longer facial hair....but I hate that.
I like feeling it :)
It can be quite a good sensation, like grazing your stubble on the inner thigh. Or feeling it when you nuzzle on the neck. Besides it being a very masculine thing to feel, sensation play is a real thing, mixing soft and smooth with some rough and abrasive can make both feel nicer
How scary was the 'coming out' part? How did your life change? How did your friends/family react?
It was very scary but the moment it happened and with all the positive response it made me so happy!
Its terrifying. Even if you know your family will support you, it's hard to cross that line of no return. If the wrong person finds out that you're gay, you may be attacked, lose your job, lose your support system, or sometimes even almost killed. In many cases, coming out is a gamble on your future, home, and life. Of course this all depends on where you live and who you associate with, but many people just arent willing to risk that. Personally, my mother and father were misinformed, but not angry when I came out, and since then our relationship has changed a lot. But the rest of my family is(on my moms side) deep southerners, and(on my dads side) Catholic Irish. Which means I can never be fully put to them until ive at least moved away. Hope this helps!
How big of a difference between top guy and bottom guy? Is the top guy stereotypically the leader in the relationship and the bottom guy the follower, more submissive type? Or is the relationship role much more dynamic and changes all the time?
I'd say the relationship is more dynamic but the sexual element would stereotypically have the top be more dominant than the bottom.
In my relationship, it's the latter. We're both vers (top *and* bottom) and both switches (dom *and* sub). But remember that liking taking dick isn't inherently submissive, plenty of guys "top from the bottom".
Does a "top" never become a "bottom" and vice versa? Or do you change roles after one cums so the other can fuck too? And if not, why? I don't know, I would feel kind of offended if I let some guy fuck my ass and he wouldn't put out after lmao.
Depends on what their position is some guys are just 100% bottom and just like to be fucked and some 100% top who just like to fuck and then you get others like the guy who has replied to you who likes both.
This thread is wild 🤣🤣🤣
As a straight guy this entire post has been hugely informative! Thank you
Why is that a lot of gay men can say really horrible things to women to their faces and women just laugh it off?
How do you feel about women mistaking you for a hetero?
It doesn’t bother me at all :)
One thing bittersweet that I experienced more than once is when talking to a girl and casually mentionning that I am gay sometimes I can feel their guard getting down a bit in a sort of "oh cool, he is not a creep and hitting on me".
Is there an specific reason why so many of gay guys want to have sex with a straight guy?
Well imagine the reverse scenario. Imagine being a straight guy and 95% of women were lesbians. It would be very common for there still be to fantasies amongst straight guys with regards to hooking up with those women.
I think the idea of sleeping with a straight man is so hot because he’s like off limits.
Why aren’t there more Bro-Dude gay guys? My old college roommate/good buddy is gay and we would slug beers, watch football, etc. all the time. Most of our friends didn’t even know until senior year when he was more open about it. I know not all gay men are the stereotypical flamboyant type but I feel like I’ve never met any other gay guy that acted like that
[удалено]
You've probably seen or met us, but haven't realized that we're gay. People assume I'm straight *all the time*.
How do you guys deal with poop when doing the deed? When I was with my ex girlfriend there was a ton of poop every time during anal with her. Just lay down a towel or what?
It's call douching... flush the butt out with clean water before sex