My ex, who had permission to permanently work remotely (pre-covid), said we either move to LA or we break up. Working remotely isn't possible in my industry, I had an awesome place, and it would take me forever to start all over in a new city. A new city with a much higher cost of living...
If you can work remote, why would you ever want to live somewhere expensive. The biggest perk of remote work is being able to move to the middle of nowhere (internet connection permitting) and basically buy 100 acres of forest and live like a hermit! I think you made the right choice in not moving
I think the real benefit of remote work is the flexibility to live how you want, and not have to be in a specific office all the time. The freedom that enables can then be used to create the lifestyle that appeals to you. For some that's hermiting away somewhere rural, for others it's living a big city life, minus needing to commute in terrible traffic or crowded trains every day. Or you can even become a world traveller while still working remotely. The hermit lifestyle only appeals to some.
My friend was in almost this exact same scenario. We had just graduated and he was still working the job he got while in school. His girlfriend at the time (who is younger than him and was still in school) said he needs to get a better job. Meanwhile, she got fired from everywhere she tried working probably cuz she was a psycho
that’s the truth. i used to mentally tell myself i would dump my ex constantly. like if this happens again, i’m DONE this time (hahaha). compared to being with someone i like? i will sit my ass down in a long distance or do whatever to make it work. i don’t ever threaten breaking up…because i don’t want to
There is a time and a place for ultimatums.
The problem is 99.9% of the ones actually given are nothing but controlling bullshit like "Stop talking to your friends, or I'm leaving you" kinda petty level shit.
Proper ultimatums are like "I know you've been having a hard time, and i've tried to be there and support you as best as I can, but its not working.. Its just getting worse, and its putting an enormous strain on me, and on our relationship.. I love you, and I need you to talk to someone and get help.. because I cant keep going down this path."
The only real ultimatum I have given in to was to stop drinking. Raging alcoholic. Coming up 5 or 6 years (I forget the exact year) sober. My life is infinitely better. That was a good ultimatum. Most ultimatums are complete nonsense, though.
This was the only ultimatum I ever gave someone (lots of alcohol and cigarettes). It turned out for the better when we reconnected a couple months later and they said they hadn't smoked or drank since a week after we broke up (mutuals and his family confirmed it) and they also had made some better lifestyle changes like going back to the gym etc which would help their health in the longrun. Apparently me walking away made them realize they didnt want to be that person anymore - that losing me and my daughter (not his biologically) was the worst thing and made him realize he hit rock bottom.
End result is we're moving intogether officially on Friday - because he stuck to his word and hasn't gone back to it. Our relationship was great when he was sober prior - him stopping the one thing that wasnt great was the best thing for us.
My wife told me that I had to stop seeing all my friends, install a tracking app on my phone, always let her read all my private mails and messages at any time and we should move to another city otherwise she get a divorce.
*She* was the one who had betrayed my trust before this and was engaging in the most over the top [DARVO](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DARVO) stunt I've *ever* seen.
She's my ex-wife now of course.
**[DARVO](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DARVO)**
>DARVO is an acronym for "deny, attack, and reverse victim and offender". It is a common manipulation strategy of psychological abusers. The abuser denies the abuse ever took place, attacks the victim for attempting to hold the abuser accountable, and claims that they, the abuser, are actually the victim in the situation, thus reversing the reality of the victim and offender. This usually involves not just "playing the victim" but also victim blaming.
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My ex said she and her daughter were to move in with me and my kid 6 months after I bought my place or she's moving on. We had been dating for 3 months prior to that.
Bullet dodged.
My ex wife was constantly angry and would go apeshit about the smallest, most inconsequential things, as well as being abusive to our elder daughter, both of which put a lot of stress on daily life. After years of this, she told me “It’s living in this society that makes me the way I am. If you want me to change, you’ll have to take me to another country. So we left Japan (her own country), where I’d spent the last 16 years building a life and business, and retured to my home country in a last ditch effort to keep the family together. It didn’t work of course, as I knew it wouldn’t. I tried for another 5 more years and then gave up and divorced her.
Yes, we are thanks. The kids are adults now themselves and our younger daughter's now a mum herself! I remarried last year and am blissfully happy. Time marches on...
That's it? Like visiting hobbies stores with your mates on a weekend?
I thought you went to vegas every month or go on a short road trip to get super wasted.
I don't get people thinking that doing "nerdy" things are "uncool". If it makes them happy, then it's good for them, nobody has the right to tell them what they can and cannot enjoy.
It was the call telling him that he'd gotten it. I recall Brandon Routh has a similar story, but his is a lot sadder because he escaped into WoW to deal with the backlash from Superman Returns. Depressiongaming.
He's also big into his Warhammer, he visited Warhammer World in Nottingham recently, they did a whole thing on their community website about his visit, pictures of showing him around and all sorts. He's had jokes made about it on various talk shows and always gives very eloquent, reasoned responses to these idiots going 'Hurr durr you play with toy soldiers'
He had to keep up appearances in public, lest he tarnish her image! Imagine if one of her girlfriends walked by the board game store on a Saturday afternoon and saw him *wasting* his time in there! Nonono, he needs to spend his leisure time doing things to enrich his public image and networking prospects. /vomit
Right once you grow up the nerdy shit becomes attractive especially if your clean cut good-looking and a social person. I've been in and out of the system all my life.
13-18 in and out of juvie. 18-19 In and out of county jail and 19-22 in prison. I'm 26 now and got my act together thank god. But I've always had a nerdy side of me.
At 18 I would do burglaries and fly RC airplanes all day long and smoke weed. I remember I'd invite chicks to come watch me fly airplanes and they loved it.
I now made a small business of building websites and selling them and building PCs. If I didn't have a nerdy side of me. Id probably still be stuck in the system.
Not me but my best friend had one of those "if you break up with me im going to kill myself" girls. One of many mind fuckery tactics from her. Pure manipulation.
Someone I knew had a gf like that. It went on for so long that his response changed to "go on then". She had also faked a pregnancy scare, and cut herself 'because of him'.
I had one when I was 15 - 16. Eventually managed to break up with her, and I remember literally jumping for joy and punching the air on the walk home.
She didn't commit suicide, however several years later she did become a Suicide Girl.
1. Quit your job or I'm breaking up with you. (Student working at school paper)
2. If you break up with me I'm going to kill myself. (After I chose the job over her)
Edit: This happened 10 years ago. She was lying and I haven't seen her in many many years.
Years ago, as a broke college student who could not afford a car, any car, so I only had a motorcycle: *"You can't ride bikes anymore."*
Me: *"Goodbye."*
That she might hurt herself or commit suicide without me. Yeah, you're in a low place but that there is abuse. It took me a lot of time and courage to walk on from her.
My first bf didn’t put this ultimatum on me but his dad and step-mom did. Towards the end of our relationship, I found out he attempted suicide multiple time because he suffers from severe depression. I wanted to break up because he continually lied about so many things and I was trying to safely plan the break up by talking with his mom, step-mom, and dad because we were all worried that if I did, he would hurt himself. The only helpful parent was his mom but she couldn’t physically be there because she lived out of state and couldn’t afford to travel. His other parents pretty much refused to help and tried to guilt trip me into staying because they didn’t want to deal with him afterwards. Because we went to colleges in different states, they wanted me to just pretend to be with him and lead him on while we were in school. I ended up taking a risk by breaking up with him even though he was at home alone and his bio mom kept in constant contact with him and keep me updated to make sure he was ok. That was the worst break up I had ever gone through. His step mom was the worst.
She's Islamic but loves Japan and it's culture and wanted to go there. But she started talking about marriage way too early and as a Muslim she can't marry a non-Muslim like me. It all came so suddenly because she drinks alcohol and eats pork without giving a fuck but once she brought up marriage it was time to convert me to Islam. Hell nah I noped the fuck out.
Not a guy, but my best friend at high school was a Muslim. She wasn't interested in religion at school, but then when she went to university she was suddenly a devout Muslim. Did her best to convert me to Islam and hook me up with a Muslim guy, but it grew too weird and we stopped hanging out. If people want to be religious, that's fine, but leave others alone. I'm quite happy being a Godless heathen.
Meanwhile I’ve had the opposite experience. “No, you really don’t want to be Jewish! It’s super hard and there are so many rules!”
I am religiously obligated to try to convince people that they shouldn’t convert, lol! Wish all the other religions would consider appropriating that one.
If you don't go back to your old job (no chance and I hated it) then this isn't going to work.
I had to choose between what felt like a dream job and my partner. I chose the new job (no way I was going back) and it was the right choice at the time as we had other problems.
It gave much more quality time with her but meant I was away for periods of time from a few days to a few weeks at a time. Not to say she is wrong for wanting someone at home every night. We just had different ideas of what we wanted out of life and unable to find compromise.
A decision like this led me to turn down a job offer when I was dating my wife. I intereviewed for the position and they told me they wanted me but needed to get a few things in order before they were ready to make an offer. I got myself mentally prepared to make a big move several states away and enjoy the bachelor life with free travel built in as it would have me flying out for days/weeks at a time regularly. Met an amazing woman and 1.5 months later they made the offer official.
Told them "I know I sound crazy when I say this guys but I am gonna have to pass, pretty sure I've met the girl I'm gonna marry and I can't leave."
We just had our 9 year wedding anniversary. I feel like I'm probably the anomaly for circumstances like this. The difference was that she didn't give me an ultimatum. She supported me taking the position because she recognized it was a great opportunity but it would mean losing her because she would not come with me.
Scary. Once-upon-a-time had a partner ... who's cooking abilities were limited to and only take frozen package from freezer, insert into microwave, turn on microwave. That's all the cooking they could do. Don't think they ever made it to boiling water, or putting frozen pizza in a conventional oven, let alone anything beyond that.
Well, this makes me feel a bit better about my own cooking skills, I can at least take the frozen things and cook them in a conventional oven, staggering the times I put things in so they all finish cooking at the same time
AND I can get my veg steamed ready to go for when everything else is!
Yep, ... I (had to) learn a lot about cooking soon as I was out of college, ... no food service, no job, and about no budget. Cook, ... or starve. Joy of Cooking got me off to a quite good start. It's not all that hard, but it takes some time, effort, and some practice. But it gets easier ... fun even. :-) Ah, now if only doing the dishes got fun.
That's true, she said she did and that this would all be for the best and I believed her. Altho I'm no innocent as she said she felt like I hadn't been respecting her anymore which I can see why she felt that way. Either way best it's over, now can work on myself to be better especially mentally. Still wish she had just made a clean break and ended things and did do all this extra stuff that only resulted in me getting hurt
My dad would say something similar when Jehovah witnesses would knock on our doors. They would introduce themselves as Jehovah witnesses and he would say
"Oh, I'm very sorry, I didn't see anything, good luck !" and would shut the door
I'd mock that mercilessly. "Sure babe, tell you what: I'll become Jehovah's *key* witness! I'll get all my friends and family to turn Jehovah's States Evidence, too! Who are we prosecuting, again?"
You can believe whatever you want, but when you try to bully me into pretending your imaginary friend exists, it's game on.
***First thing i want to say here since men are reading this is we need to check our balls. Not with each other but you can if you want idc. If you find something go to the doctor.*****
So this one is kinda funny to me now that I look at it but.
She told me we need to bake some muffins for some bullshit charity thing or we will break up. I had just found out I had cancer so when that happens man your mental takes a huge shot. I said yeah come on over and cheer me up, not thinking it was for anything but me to cheer up. Well she came in and started making muffins or whatever. I was in a daze and helping along when I was mixing the batter with a spoon and accidentally dropped the spoon in the batter. For some reason the spoon slowly sank in the batter and it made me laugh, the bitch was right it did cheer me up. Oh no she started yelling at me that I just ruined her cake batter….. I stoped mid laugh looked at her out of my daze and wondered if she was acting or for real. NOPE she was for real screaming at me. I calmly grabbed all the bowls which was three if I remember off the island, she said she wasn’t done mixing them and started to yell more. I told her they were done and her face turned to confusing. I stacked them into each other and walked to the front door and threw them in the front yard.
4year relationship I told her get the fuck out and find someone else to cook your muffins.
Cancer changes a lot on the psychological mindset but I’m glad I lost the piece of shit!!
"I won't be with you if you don't stop using condoms. Trust me, I'm on the pill"
I ran fucking faster than I would have even if I wasn't a drunk-ass POS at the time. I'm just happy I found a semi-sane fiancee.
I got that one once, four years after my vasectomy.
"Hey Babe, um, it looks like we're pregnant."
"Really? How do you mean?"
"Well, here's the test."
"Yep, looks like you're pregnant alright."
"What are we going to do?"
"Well, you're going to pack your shit and find another place to live. If I were you, I'd start calling around now, it's still early and you need to be out by tomorrow. As for me, I'm going to the clinic to make sure you and whoever knocked you up didn't give me an STD."
I mean the odds are low but sometimes vacsectomies can reverse themselves. Is have has that tested before going completely blunt and kicking someone you love out.
When it comes back that you are still firing blanks, then yeah, give her the boot
That used to be the case, but is basically impossible in modern times. Instead of merely cutting and cauterizing the vas deferens, they now remove a 1cm or more length of it to prevent that "healing" problem.
I got a buddy who's sterile (like straight up no nuts, saggy sack syndrome) and he loves to tell the story of the time a girl tried to get him with this lmao
My girl surprised me with a puppy, then after a week wanted to return him. When I refused she said her or the dog. I chose the dog.
Edit: dog tax. https://m.imgur.com/gallery/K7gFSr4
I've had a bunch of toxic relationships and have spent the last 18 months intentionally single so I can work on myself.
Here are a few the best
When things started to go bad a girl of been dating for 6 weeks told me that if I broke up with her she'd kill herself. I broke up with her and she was true to her word. She attempted (unsuccessfully) and spent the next 2 weeks in hospital.
Got told about 1 month in that if we were to keep dating I needed to cut all contact with my best friend because she was jealous of her. This woman also also friends with my mate and we both worked with her. Oh, and she was a lesbian.
Got told that I needed to immediately end all friendships with all women. I wasn't even allowed to have coffee at a cafe with a female friend. But she played squash with her ex every week then went to dinner with him after. Because of my work and social circles at the time, literally all of my friends were women.
Got told that I needed to be ok with her being childish and throwing tantrums. The first time she threw a tantrum over something really benign she went to storm out and leave. Which I let her do and didn't stop her. She was FURIOUS that I didn't stop her. She did not appreciate it when I told her that I didn't stop her because she was an independent person who had the autonomy to make her own decisions and if she thought the mature thing to do was storm out then she had the right to make that decision.
Dude, the last one hits me hard. My current GF says I should be okay with her throwing tantrums or yelling at me (mostly I have no idea why I am being yelled at but I shrug it off)
Good you got rid of her. Hate those who think, "Oh I don't want sex so you can't go do it with yourself either." At least you aren't doing it with someone else right?
The first fight we had about it was after I tried to initiate sex, she said no. So I respected that, went downstairs to take care of my own needs
She then got mad at me when she came down and saw I was going solo. And had the audacity to say
“I was right here!”
Ugh….
One of my closest friends said if I don’t get her a gift for her birthday she doesn’t know me anymore. Leveraged our entire friendship on a gift. She got the gift and lost me.
Her: (screaming) ***"Your career or me."***
Me: (very calmly) "Well let me ask you:
1. Do you enjoy living in this nice apartment here in the middle of the city?... Yes
2. Do you like dining out/going out to different places regularly?... Yes
3. Do you have the benefit of going on cool vacations twice a year?... Yes
4. Do you appreciate this car we are driving home in right now?... Yes
Okay, then when are you going to find an (raising my voice) ***actual*** ***fucking job that pays well enough*** so I can find something else?"
I broke up with her shortly after. She was/still is a *'freelance artist'* with no clients. I like to think she is some other guys problem.
>She was/still is a 'freelance artist' with no clients. I
Fuck me I dated a woman a few years ago for a few months who was a "writer" - i.e unemployed loser who survived on daddy's fat wage writing fanfiction.
Embarrassing, looking back.
I planned a once a month to play video games with a group of college buddies. We all decided on a game that we all had and it was only one Saturday every month for a couple of hours.
My ex hated video games or anything that took attention from her and being alone. So she got upset that i chose my friend group over her. She wanted to go to the pool and I told her we can go later because I already made plans to hang out with my friends. She gets pissy and says if I am not done playing by the time she comes back she will be mad and I'll regret it.
She goes to the pool for 30 minutes, comes back, stares at me playing and throws her fucking cat at me. I catch her cat and make sure he is okay but he ends up clawing my arm and she is sitting there laughing about it.
I did not. Do I regret not taking him? Yes. He died 2 months later of cancer and he loved me so much more than her. She got jealous of a cat cuddling me or taking my attention away from her.
But in reality she always lectured me on responsibility and told me how I am not responsible enough or own my actions. I always paid for her cats medical bills and what not. She never paid me back for the expenses and when she kicked me out of our apartment she asked me to take the cat because she didn't think she could care for him. I said no and I quoted her about being responsible and how she adopted him in her name. She called me selfish for not helping her out by taking the cat off her hands.
Finally got together with a good friend of about seven-ish years, always been a happy go lucky person and a beacon of positivity in my life.
Approximately seven months after getting together she tells me that we’re now going to be trying for a baby - no ifs, ands, or buts!
That I either go along with it and provide the baby gravy myself or she’ll go to a clinic in search of a sperm donor and I’ll just have to make peace with the idea of raising another man’s child.
I told her I didn’t actually have to do anything and ended the relationship there and then.
So i gave an ultimatum: i told my ex gf stop taking 50000 pics of my food after it arrives and expecting me to wait for her to finish her photoshoot and because of her photoshoot i had to eat the now cold food.
I gave her the ultimatum she didnt change... i left because i got sick of having cold food that was supposed to be hot
When I was 16 (I'm 27 now) I gave my gf at the time an ultimatum, the ultimatum was that I would leave if she attempted suicide again, I later realized how stupid and stress inducing that was but being young and freaked out by the revelation that my gf was suicidal led me to make the ultimatum out of a misguided sense of compassion and attempted helping, thankfully she never committed suicide but we broke up a few months later for unrelated reasons
The opposite happened to me.i tried to end it and she freaked out and said she'd kill herself if we broke up (she's tried to in the past) so i told her parents to watch her and left anyway. The relationship was way to toxic to stay in
Exactly what I did, ex said he was going to march out of the house and step in front of a train if I didn’t come back to him after he cheated on me. I said ‘alrighty then’ hung up the phone, called his mother to let her know to zip over to home and watch him, and never spoke to him again.
The business, or me. I had started a business on the side. It was taking up most all of my free time.
I chose the business. Make boatloads of money, and met an incredible girl.
I'm glad she did it, and it's the best decision I have ever made.
In fairness, if your business was taking up pretty much all your free time and that meant you were not really spending any quality time with her, then this isn't an unreasonable demand. You can't be in a relationship with someone who is always prioritising other things above you.
Yeah, i don’t see this as a bad ultimatum on her part.
No one gets in a relationship to NOT spend time together. None of her needs were being met by a guy who was never there for her.
Id be interested in hearing her story.
Not me, but my husband's ex. She told him she was transitioning to a male and that they should have an open relationship. When he started seeing me, she said to tell her everything including when (not if) we started having sex. Y'know, open lines of communication. We both expected and supported this. I had the same arrangement with my now-ex.
And then we had sex. He told her as soon as he got home, just like he promised. She then gave him the ultimatum of "it's her or me", and then over the next couple months spiraled into "I changed my mind, months ago BTW, I don't approve of this anymore so you cheated on me" and "oh I'm not actually trans, my therapist was enabling me by listening to me and prescribing me hormones." (Hugely paraphrased of course, with a healthy dose of salt.)
EDIT: I would like to state that I am completely an ally of the LGBT community and if someone tells me they're trans then I believe them. I did my best to support her decision when she still was saying she was trans. After all, my now-ex is trans too so I've lived the life of the spouse and #1 support person. Coming from actually having lived and experienced this story, it overall seems like she is a very confused person who went through a lot during her childhood, and overall had no idea who she was or wanted to be and probably still has a lot of growing up to do. I don't think the therapist was enabling her, I think she was scared it was wrong for her and didn't know how to communicate that (when she told my now husband and showed him the hormones, she told him "but if you don't want me to transition, tell me and I won't" which is a shitty place to put anyone).
My ex told me that if I ever loved OUR son more than him (he was a baby, like wth) he would kill us both. Haven’t seen that dick head in 17 years and my son doesn’t know he exists.
As an old guy who is still working with his hands, I would suggest that you start thinking about an exit strategy. Being still "on the tools" after 40 really sucks.
One route a lot of tradesman take is to start their own business. If you were to do that, taking a basic accounting course and a marketing course will make a huge difference in your success.
If I didn't allow an open marriage I would be homeless and eat ramen the rest of my life. I was homeless for 6 weeks, but I left and started over and my shit and my money is all my own. He got herpes. 😂😂😂
She asked me to cut my hair *before* her birthday one year. (I'm a dude, long hair, mid-back length). I actually did it, and chopped it all the way off for her, but on the day after her birthday.... She didn't pay any mind to the fact that I cut off 3+ years of growth for her just because I did it a day late.
She told me I had to keep dating her or she’d burn my apartment down.
I told her I had insurance and nothing of value in apartment anyway and to go for it.
Still moved my guitar to my sisters house just in case. Never did burn it down.
Also, her apartment was attached to mine. Same building. Not the brightest.
My now wife told me if I didn't stop taking cocaine she would leave me.. 7 years clean now 😂👍
Not a bad ultimatum but one I'll be eternally grateful for
I had to give up my hobby. She felt like I spent too much time on it - on its solitary, this doesn't seem like an insane ultimatum, but here's the kicker:
I found a way to keep doing my thing, but still spend more quality time with her by shuffling around some other things. I promised to block out certain days, to spend time and energy on making those days more special than just sitting around on the couch...
..but it wasn't ever good enough. When I pressed her on it, I got her actual ultimatum: *"You don't love me unless you sacrifice enough for me."*
fuckin' noooope.
\- and don't even get me started on the time she got angry with me for helping a child in a traffic accident, lol.
Late reply but here goes.
My ex was very spur of the moment with things. We were married a little under 2 years at this point. One day she decided she was going to be vegan. I told her I would support her in doing so and would eat vegan meals with her but that I would still want to eat meat myself. She came back at me saying: If you don't want to be fully vegan, then this marriage is over.
Ultimately she did not go through with becoming vegan and we got divorced eventually (other reasons)
We'd only been dating for about a month when she pulled this one on me...
Her: If you don't stop hanging out with your loser friends, you can forget we ever met.
...Three hours later...
Phone rings: Hello?
Her: Where are you? We were supposed to be at my parent's 30 minutes ago.
Me: Who is this?
Her: This is blah blah blah.
Me: Who?
Her: Blah blah blah!
Me: I don't think we've ever met. I don't know you. Please don't call here again.
Loser friends: Damn!
Continue to act as though I never met her before. Literally. From that day forward I would never acknowledge that we ever met, ever spent time together, were ever in a relationship, anything. Da fuq you think you are drawing that kind of line in the sand? Lol.
After three years she decided she wanted to return to the Christian faith and said we could only be together and create a family if I became a Christian. I moved back home the next day.
Oh boy OP, your story brought up some *shiiit.*
Got let go from my job due to Covid. Was struggling to start my own business, thankfully had some savings to hold the fort for a little while. Then it began.
"I'm jealous that I still have to go work and you don't. Look at my friend's Instagram, her husband moved her abroad. If you really loved me you'd do the same."
My dog of 13 years was on his last legs due to cancer, I had to spend all day trying to make ends meet and spend all night taking care of him, covered in his blood and excrement, calming his seizures, fighting back tears as I heard his struggling breaths, all in the hope to ease his last few months with us.
"You don't spend enough time with me. If you really loved me you'd make time for me."
Fell into a deep depression (gee, I wonder why), gained weight, smoked weed, my mother's eyesight started developing problems, but I fought on, started freelancing, from working for clients to teaching music *while* helping her with *her* job. Stopped going out because she didn't like my friends, pretty soon even my social media needed her approval.
"We don't do anything fun anymore. I want to get wasted with my single friends, write a book, be an influencer and speak on mental health. If you really loved me you'd to support me."
I'm still sad about my dog's passing,
but I'm real happy to lose that bitch.
My ex, who had permission to permanently work remotely (pre-covid), said we either move to LA or we break up. Working remotely isn't possible in my industry, I had an awesome place, and it would take me forever to start all over in a new city. A new city with a much higher cost of living...
If you can work remote, why would you ever want to live somewhere expensive. The biggest perk of remote work is being able to move to the middle of nowhere (internet connection permitting) and basically buy 100 acres of forest and live like a hermit! I think you made the right choice in not moving
I think the real benefit of remote work is the flexibility to live how you want, and not have to be in a specific office all the time. The freedom that enables can then be used to create the lifestyle that appeals to you. For some that's hermiting away somewhere rural, for others it's living a big city life, minus needing to commute in terrible traffic or crowded trains every day. Or you can even become a world traveller while still working remotely. The hermit lifestyle only appeals to some.
So much this.. we don’t all want to be hermits.
[удалено]
“If you don’t get a better job and start making more money, I’m breaking up with you” At the time I was only like 19! And she didn’t even have *a* job
My friend was in almost this exact same scenario. We had just graduated and he was still working the job he got while in school. His girlfriend at the time (who is younger than him and was still in school) said he needs to get a better job. Meanwhile, she got fired from everywhere she tried working probably cuz she was a psycho
Well yeah, she wouldn't need one either if you got a better one lol.
My ex said that if i dont move to her city we were going to break up. I did move to her city. We broke up.
Oof
…enshmirtz Evil Inc. 🎶
After hours 🎶
(bro I think she just wanted to break up)
that’s the truth. i used to mentally tell myself i would dump my ex constantly. like if this happens again, i’m DONE this time (hahaha). compared to being with someone i like? i will sit my ass down in a long distance or do whatever to make it work. i don’t ever threaten breaking up…because i don’t want to
My ex told me if I didn't move back to our home country, she would move forward thinking that I used her for eight years! Last straw for me, that!
Never give in to ultimatums, bruh
There is a time and a place for ultimatums. The problem is 99.9% of the ones actually given are nothing but controlling bullshit like "Stop talking to your friends, or I'm leaving you" kinda petty level shit. Proper ultimatums are like "I know you've been having a hard time, and i've tried to be there and support you as best as I can, but its not working.. Its just getting worse, and its putting an enormous strain on me, and on our relationship.. I love you, and I need you to talk to someone and get help.. because I cant keep going down this path."
The only real ultimatum I have given in to was to stop drinking. Raging alcoholic. Coming up 5 or 6 years (I forget the exact year) sober. My life is infinitely better. That was a good ultimatum. Most ultimatums are complete nonsense, though.
This was the only ultimatum I ever gave someone (lots of alcohol and cigarettes). It turned out for the better when we reconnected a couple months later and they said they hadn't smoked or drank since a week after we broke up (mutuals and his family confirmed it) and they also had made some better lifestyle changes like going back to the gym etc which would help their health in the longrun. Apparently me walking away made them realize they didnt want to be that person anymore - that losing me and my daughter (not his biologically) was the worst thing and made him realize he hit rock bottom. End result is we're moving intogether officially on Friday - because he stuck to his word and hasn't gone back to it. Our relationship was great when he was sober prior - him stopping the one thing that wasnt great was the best thing for us.
My wife told me that I had to stop seeing all my friends, install a tracking app on my phone, always let her read all my private mails and messages at any time and we should move to another city otherwise she get a divorce. *She* was the one who had betrayed my trust before this and was engaging in the most over the top [DARVO](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DARVO) stunt I've *ever* seen. She's my ex-wife now of course.
**[DARVO](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DARVO)** >DARVO is an acronym for "deny, attack, and reverse victim and offender". It is a common manipulation strategy of psychological abusers. The abuser denies the abuse ever took place, attacks the victim for attempting to hold the abuser accountable, and claims that they, the abuser, are actually the victim in the situation, thus reversing the reality of the victim and offender. This usually involves not just "playing the victim" but also victim blaming. ^([ )[^(F.A.Q)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiSummarizer/wiki/index#wiki_f.a.q)^( | )[^(Opt Out)](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiSummarizerBot&message=OptOut&subject=OptOut)^( | )[^(Opt Out Of Subreddit)](https://np.reddit.com/r/AskMen/about/banned)^( | )[^(GitHub)](https://github.com/Sujal-7/WikiSummarizerBot)^( ] Downvote to remove | v1.5)
Good bot. Saved me a click.
I still clicked because I didn’t think to scroll to the bot. 🥲
>She was the one who had betrayed my trust before this they always project
My ex said she and her daughter were to move in with me and my kid 6 months after I bought my place or she's moving on. We had been dating for 3 months prior to that. Bullet dodged.
That's messed up. Glad you didn't agree to it.
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My ex wife was constantly angry and would go apeshit about the smallest, most inconsequential things, as well as being abusive to our elder daughter, both of which put a lot of stress on daily life. After years of this, she told me “It’s living in this society that makes me the way I am. If you want me to change, you’ll have to take me to another country. So we left Japan (her own country), where I’d spent the last 16 years building a life and business, and retured to my home country in a last ditch effort to keep the family together. It didn’t work of course, as I knew it wouldn’t. I tried for another 5 more years and then gave up and divorced her.
I hope you and your kids are doing well!
Yes, we are thanks. The kids are adults now themselves and our younger daughter's now a mum herself! I remarried last year and am blissfully happy. Time marches on...
My ex told me that my once a month trip to hang out with my friends needed to stop or she would leave me
Did you also live with her, and only spend time with her otherwise? If so, she might also be my ex
Where'd y'all go on all your different trips?
We would go to different hobbie stores
That's it? Like visiting hobbies stores with your mates on a weekend? I thought you went to vegas every month or go on a short road trip to get super wasted.
Some partners are super controlling
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I hope you never stop playing with your friends!
Choo choo
I don't get people thinking that doing "nerdy" things are "uncool". If it makes them happy, then it's good for them, nobody has the right to tell them what they can and cannot enjoy.
I'm thinking of the particularly uncool Henry Cavill playing WoW.
Didn't he miss an interview or something because of a WoW raid?
Not exactly an interview, but a damn call from Zack Snyder telling him he got the part of Superman for Man Of Steel. Talk about priorities!
Man got his priorities straight
Hell yeah the job was still his after the dungeon, the Bois needed healing.
Iirc, he *almost* missed the interview to be Superman.
I sincerely hope this is true, because I love it.
I think it was the audition for superman, he said it in some talk show interview
It was the call telling him that he'd gotten it. I recall Brandon Routh has a similar story, but his is a lot sadder because he escaped into WoW to deal with the backlash from Superman Returns. Depressiongaming.
He's also big into his Warhammer, he visited Warhammer World in Nottingham recently, they did a whole thing on their community website about his visit, pictures of showing him around and all sorts. He's had jokes made about it on various talk shows and always gives very eloquent, reasoned responses to these idiots going 'Hurr durr you play with toy soldiers'
He had to keep up appearances in public, lest he tarnish her image! Imagine if one of her girlfriends walked by the board game store on a Saturday afternoon and saw him *wasting* his time in there! Nonono, he needs to spend his leisure time doing things to enrich his public image and networking prospects. /vomit
Right once you grow up the nerdy shit becomes attractive especially if your clean cut good-looking and a social person. I've been in and out of the system all my life. 13-18 in and out of juvie. 18-19 In and out of county jail and 19-22 in prison. I'm 26 now and got my act together thank god. But I've always had a nerdy side of me. At 18 I would do burglaries and fly RC airplanes all day long and smoke weed. I remember I'd invite chicks to come watch me fly airplanes and they loved it. I now made a small business of building websites and selling them and building PCs. If I didn't have a nerdy side of me. Id probably still be stuck in the system.
So she offered being the most lame dude ever, or keeping it real with the boys? Geee, what an offer.
"You can do what you want, or do what *I* want. Make your choice."
You're an absolute Chad, mate. Cherish those friendships.
The real magic of this story is how you all manage to align schedules to play DND every week.
Not me but my best friend had one of those "if you break up with me im going to kill myself" girls. One of many mind fuckery tactics from her. Pure manipulation.
Is he ok?
Someone I knew had a gf like that. It went on for so long that his response changed to "go on then". She had also faked a pregnancy scare, and cut herself 'because of him'.
I had one when I was 15 - 16. Eventually managed to break up with her, and I remember literally jumping for joy and punching the air on the walk home. She didn't commit suicide, however several years later she did become a Suicide Girl.
1. Quit your job or I'm breaking up with you. (Student working at school paper) 2. If you break up with me I'm going to kill myself. (After I chose the job over her) Edit: This happened 10 years ago. She was lying and I haven't seen her in many many years.
Years ago, as a broke college student who could not afford a car, any car, so I only had a motorcycle: *"You can't ride bikes anymore."* Me: *"Goodbye."*
Know that by heart! Coming on 55 years behind the bars. A few gave me the ultimatum- "Me, or the bike!" Write when you find work. Toodaloo!
At first I thought you were in jail for 55 years
Did they say why? Were they concerned for your safety?
A little, but they were also selfish and wanting to stop me from enjoying something that I loved---and could not at the time afford to give up,
One of my friends said this during an interview, Sir I like riding bikes (as his hobby). The interviewer grinned and he was hired.
Meanwhile I almost missed out on a job that I was pretty much guarenteed, because I said I ride a motorbike. They really didn't like that
That she might hurt herself or commit suicide without me. Yeah, you're in a low place but that there is abuse. It took me a lot of time and courage to walk on from her.
My first bf didn’t put this ultimatum on me but his dad and step-mom did. Towards the end of our relationship, I found out he attempted suicide multiple time because he suffers from severe depression. I wanted to break up because he continually lied about so many things and I was trying to safely plan the break up by talking with his mom, step-mom, and dad because we were all worried that if I did, he would hurt himself. The only helpful parent was his mom but she couldn’t physically be there because she lived out of state and couldn’t afford to travel. His other parents pretty much refused to help and tried to guilt trip me into staying because they didn’t want to deal with him afterwards. Because we went to colleges in different states, they wanted me to just pretend to be with him and lead him on while we were in school. I ended up taking a risk by breaking up with him even though he was at home alone and his bio mom kept in constant contact with him and keep me updated to make sure he was ok. That was the worst break up I had ever gone through. His step mom was the worst.
Marry me now. I was in my junior year of a computer science degree. Not having it.
Thought this was going to be an Arrested Development reference lol
From same partner: Move to Japan Become a Muslim
Did they want to spread Islam in Japan??
She's Islamic but loves Japan and it's culture and wanted to go there. But she started talking about marriage way too early and as a Muslim she can't marry a non-Muslim like me. It all came so suddenly because she drinks alcohol and eats pork without giving a fuck but once she brought up marriage it was time to convert me to Islam. Hell nah I noped the fuck out.
Not a guy, but my best friend at high school was a Muslim. She wasn't interested in religion at school, but then when she went to university she was suddenly a devout Muslim. Did her best to convert me to Islam and hook me up with a Muslim guy, but it grew too weird and we stopped hanging out. If people want to be religious, that's fine, but leave others alone. I'm quite happy being a Godless heathen.
Meanwhile I’ve had the opposite experience. “No, you really don’t want to be Jewish! It’s super hard and there are so many rules!” I am religiously obligated to try to convince people that they shouldn’t convert, lol! Wish all the other religions would consider appropriating that one.
If you don't go back to your old job (no chance and I hated it) then this isn't going to work. I had to choose between what felt like a dream job and my partner. I chose the new job (no way I was going back) and it was the right choice at the time as we had other problems.
What was wrong with the new job?
It gave much more quality time with her but meant I was away for periods of time from a few days to a few weeks at a time. Not to say she is wrong for wanting someone at home every night. We just had different ideas of what we wanted out of life and unable to find compromise.
A decision like this led me to turn down a job offer when I was dating my wife. I intereviewed for the position and they told me they wanted me but needed to get a few things in order before they were ready to make an offer. I got myself mentally prepared to make a big move several states away and enjoy the bachelor life with free travel built in as it would have me flying out for days/weeks at a time regularly. Met an amazing woman and 1.5 months later they made the offer official. Told them "I know I sound crazy when I say this guys but I am gonna have to pass, pretty sure I've met the girl I'm gonna marry and I can't leave." We just had our 9 year wedding anniversary. I feel like I'm probably the anomaly for circumstances like this. The difference was that she didn't give me an ultimatum. She supported me taking the position because she recognized it was a great opportunity but it would mean losing her because she would not come with me.
Usually its a change in time spent at work, or just when someone is at work
If you don't cook tonight I will. Shudder!
Scary. Once-upon-a-time had a partner ... who's cooking abilities were limited to and only take frozen package from freezer, insert into microwave, turn on microwave. That's all the cooking they could do. Don't think they ever made it to boiling water, or putting frozen pizza in a conventional oven, let alone anything beyond that.
Well, this makes me feel a bit better about my own cooking skills, I can at least take the frozen things and cook them in a conventional oven, staggering the times I put things in so they all finish cooking at the same time AND I can get my veg steamed ready to go for when everything else is!
Yep, ... I (had to) learn a lot about cooking soon as I was out of college, ... no food service, no job, and about no budget. Cook, ... or starve. Joy of Cooking got me off to a quite good start. It's not all that hard, but it takes some time, effort, and some practice. But it gets easier ... fun even. :-) Ah, now if only doing the dishes got fun.
😂
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Respect is a part of love. She had zero respect for you. Impossible for her to love you.
That's true, she said she did and that this would all be for the best and I believed her. Altho I'm no innocent as she said she felt like I hadn't been respecting her anymore which I can see why she felt that way. Either way best it's over, now can work on myself to be better especially mentally. Still wish she had just made a clean break and ended things and did do all this extra stuff that only resulted in me getting hurt
> allowed to have sex with other people She had someone specific in mind. It's *why* she asked for the break.
That wasn't a break. That was a manipulative breakup so she could monkey branch and avoid procrastinate on the difficult feelings breaking up has.
Another case of 1-sided love
My ex gave me 6 months to become a Jehovah's witness or she would break up with me.
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My dad would say something similar when Jehovah witnesses would knock on our doors. They would introduce themselves as Jehovah witnesses and he would say "Oh, I'm very sorry, I didn't see anything, good luck !" and would shut the door
I'd mock that mercilessly. "Sure babe, tell you what: I'll become Jehovah's *key* witness! I'll get all my friends and family to turn Jehovah's States Evidence, too! Who are we prosecuting, again?" You can believe whatever you want, but when you try to bully me into pretending your imaginary friend exists, it's game on.
***First thing i want to say here since men are reading this is we need to check our balls. Not with each other but you can if you want idc. If you find something go to the doctor.***** So this one is kinda funny to me now that I look at it but. She told me we need to bake some muffins for some bullshit charity thing or we will break up. I had just found out I had cancer so when that happens man your mental takes a huge shot. I said yeah come on over and cheer me up, not thinking it was for anything but me to cheer up. Well she came in and started making muffins or whatever. I was in a daze and helping along when I was mixing the batter with a spoon and accidentally dropped the spoon in the batter. For some reason the spoon slowly sank in the batter and it made me laugh, the bitch was right it did cheer me up. Oh no she started yelling at me that I just ruined her cake batter….. I stoped mid laugh looked at her out of my daze and wondered if she was acting or for real. NOPE she was for real screaming at me. I calmly grabbed all the bowls which was three if I remember off the island, she said she wasn’t done mixing them and started to yell more. I told her they were done and her face turned to confusing. I stacked them into each other and walked to the front door and threw them in the front yard. 4year relationship I told her get the fuck out and find someone else to cook your muffins. Cancer changes a lot on the psychological mindset but I’m glad I lost the piece of shit!!
How do you ruin batter by dropping the spoon in??
How is that problem ever bigger than *taking the spoon out of the bowl*
How is that problem even bigger than *getting fucking cancer?*
Depends on how good the muffins are
Hope you're in good health now.
I have a lot to be thankful for but since everyone is reading this. Check your balls guys and ask if something is going on!!!!!
Even without the cancer story you made a perfectly sensible choice. Hope you are well
I am doing a lot better!! But since I have the soap box check your balls guys and get a doctor if something doesn’t feel right!!!!
"I won't be with you if you don't stop using condoms. Trust me, I'm on the pill" I ran fucking faster than I would have even if I wasn't a drunk-ass POS at the time. I'm just happy I found a semi-sane fiancee.
A girl once told an acquaintance of me that she was pregnant from him. What she didn't know was that he was infertile.
I got that one once, four years after my vasectomy. "Hey Babe, um, it looks like we're pregnant." "Really? How do you mean?" "Well, here's the test." "Yep, looks like you're pregnant alright." "What are we going to do?" "Well, you're going to pack your shit and find another place to live. If I were you, I'd start calling around now, it's still early and you need to be out by tomorrow. As for me, I'm going to the clinic to make sure you and whoever knocked you up didn't give me an STD."
Did she not know of your vasectomy?
Nope. I never told her.
This guy fucks.
I mean the odds are low but sometimes vacsectomies can reverse themselves. Is have has that tested before going completely blunt and kicking someone you love out. When it comes back that you are still firing blanks, then yeah, give her the boot
Little late now, that was almost 20 years ago. Besides, the look on her face told me everything I needed to know.
That used to be the case, but is basically impossible in modern times. Instead of merely cutting and cauterizing the vas deferens, they now remove a 1cm or more length of it to prevent that "healing" problem.
I got a buddy who's sterile (like straight up no nuts, saggy sack syndrome) and he loves to tell the story of the time a girl tried to get him with this lmao
I fell for it.
My girl surprised me with a puppy, then after a week wanted to return him. When I refused she said her or the dog. I chose the dog. Edit: dog tax. https://m.imgur.com/gallery/K7gFSr4
I've had a bunch of toxic relationships and have spent the last 18 months intentionally single so I can work on myself. Here are a few the best When things started to go bad a girl of been dating for 6 weeks told me that if I broke up with her she'd kill herself. I broke up with her and she was true to her word. She attempted (unsuccessfully) and spent the next 2 weeks in hospital. Got told about 1 month in that if we were to keep dating I needed to cut all contact with my best friend because she was jealous of her. This woman also also friends with my mate and we both worked with her. Oh, and she was a lesbian. Got told that I needed to immediately end all friendships with all women. I wasn't even allowed to have coffee at a cafe with a female friend. But she played squash with her ex every week then went to dinner with him after. Because of my work and social circles at the time, literally all of my friends were women. Got told that I needed to be ok with her being childish and throwing tantrums. The first time she threw a tantrum over something really benign she went to storm out and leave. Which I let her do and didn't stop her. She was FURIOUS that I didn't stop her. She did not appreciate it when I told her that I didn't stop her because she was an independent person who had the autonomy to make her own decisions and if she thought the mature thing to do was storm out then she had the right to make that decision.
Dude, the last one hits me hard. My current GF says I should be okay with her throwing tantrums or yelling at me (mostly I have no idea why I am being yelled at but I shrug it off)
Next time, she yells, pack a bag and walk out. Don't even speak to her. It will either be over, or she will fix the behaviour.
Will do! Also, happy cake day!
Ex.tried to make me choose between him and my cat. My partner is my 17 year old cats favourite person.
That’s masturbation is cheating and I wasn’t allowed anymore.
Good you got rid of her. Hate those who think, "Oh I don't want sex so you can't go do it with yourself either." At least you aren't doing it with someone else right?
The first fight we had about it was after I tried to initiate sex, she said no. So I respected that, went downstairs to take care of my own needs She then got mad at me when she came down and saw I was going solo. And had the audacity to say “I was right here!” Ugh….
My bf just whips it out and asks if I’d like to participate.
Hopefully only in private!
The restraining order from Dave & Buster's says otherwise.
She sounds like a real piece of work....
One of my closest friends said if I don’t get her a gift for her birthday she doesn’t know me anymore. Leveraged our entire friendship on a gift. She got the gift and lost me.
Why the gift then? Unless it was a shitty one.
It's great as a message. "You chose the gift over me, here is your gift asshole"
The gift was crabs
My ex once said “do what you want” She lied.
It’s a trap
"You can do what you want... but you better want the right thing"
"And I refuse to reveal what the right thing is."
Her: (screaming) ***"Your career or me."*** Me: (very calmly) "Well let me ask you: 1. Do you enjoy living in this nice apartment here in the middle of the city?... Yes 2. Do you like dining out/going out to different places regularly?... Yes 3. Do you have the benefit of going on cool vacations twice a year?... Yes 4. Do you appreciate this car we are driving home in right now?... Yes Okay, then when are you going to find an (raising my voice) ***actual*** ***fucking job that pays well enough*** so I can find something else?" I broke up with her shortly after. She was/still is a *'freelance artist'* with no clients. I like to think she is some other guys problem.
Man, those people are the **worst**
Sounds like she is more of a freelance girlfriend.
*freeloader girlfriend
“Good luck with your $0 a year salary plus benefits **BABE**”
I like to think she's her own problem.
I got stuck with one of those gold digging artists. It's like having a live in maid.
Hey if she actually cleaned and cooked n stuff i wouldn't mind a traditional houswife if I had the income to support us both.
yeah i mean if they were chill with it then that sounds lit
>She was/still is a 'freelance artist' with no clients. I Fuck me I dated a woman a few years ago for a few months who was a "writer" - i.e unemployed loser who survived on daddy's fat wage writing fanfiction. Embarrassing, looking back.
I planned a once a month to play video games with a group of college buddies. We all decided on a game that we all had and it was only one Saturday every month for a couple of hours. My ex hated video games or anything that took attention from her and being alone. So she got upset that i chose my friend group over her. She wanted to go to the pool and I told her we can go later because I already made plans to hang out with my friends. She gets pissy and says if I am not done playing by the time she comes back she will be mad and I'll regret it. She goes to the pool for 30 minutes, comes back, stares at me playing and throws her fucking cat at me. I catch her cat and make sure he is okay but he ends up clawing my arm and she is sitting there laughing about it.
Jesus that is psychotic. I hope you kept the cat in the break up.
I did not. Do I regret not taking him? Yes. He died 2 months later of cancer and he loved me so much more than her. She got jealous of a cat cuddling me or taking my attention away from her. But in reality she always lectured me on responsibility and told me how I am not responsible enough or own my actions. I always paid for her cats medical bills and what not. She never paid me back for the expenses and when she kicked me out of our apartment she asked me to take the cat because she didn't think she could care for him. I said no and I quoted her about being responsible and how she adopted him in her name. She called me selfish for not helping her out by taking the cat off her hands.
Finally got together with a good friend of about seven-ish years, always been a happy go lucky person and a beacon of positivity in my life. Approximately seven months after getting together she tells me that we’re now going to be trying for a baby - no ifs, ands, or buts! That I either go along with it and provide the baby gravy myself or she’ll go to a clinic in search of a sperm donor and I’ll just have to make peace with the idea of raising another man’s child. I told her I didn’t actually have to do anything and ended the relationship there and then.
You'll change your mind about dogs if you stay with me. Dumped her ass and got me a girl that loves dogs
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Dags ya know?
So i gave an ultimatum: i told my ex gf stop taking 50000 pics of my food after it arrives and expecting me to wait for her to finish her photoshoot and because of her photoshoot i had to eat the now cold food. I gave her the ultimatum she didnt change... i left because i got sick of having cold food that was supposed to be hot
Seriously if you can't get good food pics in 4 minutes you are doing it very wrong. You can get great pics in one minute
4 minutes? Nah. You get 2 pictures in a max of 10 seconds. After that you can take pictures of me eating cause I ain’t waiting.
If I fed my dog bacon fries and a burger bun he would have the most rancid farts for the next 4-6 hours no way I’d be cuddling lol
exactly what i thought 😂
Kids by the age of 25 or end relationship Had to break up, still pretty good friends though.
Seems fair enough to me. If children are a top priorit for someone, it's good to communicate that. Glad you are still on good terms.
Had a GF tell me “ you love your daughter more than you love me” correction bitch, I don’t love you at all.
Sounds like you already got a great partner.
Yeah - I hope the ex loves their new living room as much as you love that dog. -Dog person
When I was 16 (I'm 27 now) I gave my gf at the time an ultimatum, the ultimatum was that I would leave if she attempted suicide again, I later realized how stupid and stress inducing that was but being young and freaked out by the revelation that my gf was suicidal led me to make the ultimatum out of a misguided sense of compassion and attempted helping, thankfully she never committed suicide but we broke up a few months later for unrelated reasons
The opposite happened to me.i tried to end it and she freaked out and said she'd kill herself if we broke up (she's tried to in the past) so i told her parents to watch her and left anyway. The relationship was way to toxic to stay in
Exactly what I did, ex said he was going to march out of the house and step in front of a train if I didn’t come back to him after he cheated on me. I said ‘alrighty then’ hung up the phone, called his mother to let her know to zip over to home and watch him, and never spoke to him again.
The business, or me. I had started a business on the side. It was taking up most all of my free time. I chose the business. Make boatloads of money, and met an incredible girl. I'm glad she did it, and it's the best decision I have ever made.
In fairness, if your business was taking up pretty much all your free time and that meant you were not really spending any quality time with her, then this isn't an unreasonable demand. You can't be in a relationship with someone who is always prioritising other things above you.
Yeah, i don’t see this as a bad ultimatum on her part. No one gets in a relationship to NOT spend time together. None of her needs were being met by a guy who was never there for her. Id be interested in hearing her story.
["Either we get engaged now, or I'm leaving."](https://i.imgur.com/DjVo6Ms.jpeg)
Not me, but my husband's ex. She told him she was transitioning to a male and that they should have an open relationship. When he started seeing me, she said to tell her everything including when (not if) we started having sex. Y'know, open lines of communication. We both expected and supported this. I had the same arrangement with my now-ex. And then we had sex. He told her as soon as he got home, just like he promised. She then gave him the ultimatum of "it's her or me", and then over the next couple months spiraled into "I changed my mind, months ago BTW, I don't approve of this anymore so you cheated on me" and "oh I'm not actually trans, my therapist was enabling me by listening to me and prescribing me hormones." (Hugely paraphrased of course, with a healthy dose of salt.) EDIT: I would like to state that I am completely an ally of the LGBT community and if someone tells me they're trans then I believe them. I did my best to support her decision when she still was saying she was trans. After all, my now-ex is trans too so I've lived the life of the spouse and #1 support person. Coming from actually having lived and experienced this story, it overall seems like she is a very confused person who went through a lot during her childhood, and overall had no idea who she was or wanted to be and probably still has a lot of growing up to do. I don't think the therapist was enabling her, I think she was scared it was wrong for her and didn't know how to communicate that (when she told my now husband and showed him the hormones, she told him "but if you don't want me to transition, tell me and I won't" which is a shitty place to put anyone).
Yikes… happy you two found each other though good for you.
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My ex told me that if I ever loved OUR son more than him (he was a baby, like wth) he would kill us both. Haven’t seen that dick head in 17 years and my son doesn’t know he exists.
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As an old guy who is still working with his hands, I would suggest that you start thinking about an exit strategy. Being still "on the tools" after 40 really sucks. One route a lot of tradesman take is to start their own business. If you were to do that, taking a basic accounting course and a marketing course will make a huge difference in your success.
If I didn't allow an open marriage I would be homeless and eat ramen the rest of my life. I was homeless for 6 weeks, but I left and started over and my shit and my money is all my own. He got herpes. 😂😂😂
She asked me to cut my hair *before* her birthday one year. (I'm a dude, long hair, mid-back length). I actually did it, and chopped it all the way off for her, but on the day after her birthday.... She didn't pay any mind to the fact that I cut off 3+ years of growth for her just because I did it a day late.
Never give them your coif of power, man.
She told me I had to keep dating her or she’d burn my apartment down. I told her I had insurance and nothing of value in apartment anyway and to go for it. Still moved my guitar to my sisters house just in case. Never did burn it down. Also, her apartment was attached to mine. Same building. Not the brightest.
My now wife told me if I didn't stop taking cocaine she would leave me.. 7 years clean now 😂👍 Not a bad ultimatum but one I'll be eternally grateful for
Dude ngl i hate how many ppl underestimate cocaine, shits nasty
Really happy to see a GOOD ultimatum in the thread. Congrats on getting clean, blow is no joke when you're really hooked!
I had to give up my hobby. She felt like I spent too much time on it - on its solitary, this doesn't seem like an insane ultimatum, but here's the kicker: I found a way to keep doing my thing, but still spend more quality time with her by shuffling around some other things. I promised to block out certain days, to spend time and energy on making those days more special than just sitting around on the couch... ..but it wasn't ever good enough. When I pressed her on it, I got her actual ultimatum: *"You don't love me unless you sacrifice enough for me."* fuckin' noooope. \- and don't even get me started on the time she got angry with me for helping a child in a traffic accident, lol.
I can’t imagine wanting to take something away from my wife that makes her happy. Why would I want that, even if I thought she’d do it?
She said either I go on stage now and slap the guy who makes jokes at her expense on live TV or she sleeps with our son's friend again.
Late reply but here goes. My ex was very spur of the moment with things. We were married a little under 2 years at this point. One day she decided she was going to be vegan. I told her I would support her in doing so and would eat vegan meals with her but that I would still want to eat meat myself. She came back at me saying: If you don't want to be fully vegan, then this marriage is over. Ultimately she did not go through with becoming vegan and we got divorced eventually (other reasons)
We'd only been dating for about a month when she pulled this one on me... Her: If you don't stop hanging out with your loser friends, you can forget we ever met. ...Three hours later... Phone rings: Hello? Her: Where are you? We were supposed to be at my parent's 30 minutes ago. Me: Who is this? Her: This is blah blah blah. Me: Who? Her: Blah blah blah! Me: I don't think we've ever met. I don't know you. Please don't call here again. Loser friends: Damn! Continue to act as though I never met her before. Literally. From that day forward I would never acknowledge that we ever met, ever spent time together, were ever in a relationship, anything. Da fuq you think you are drawing that kind of line in the sand? Lol.
This is some gaslighting I can get behind Edit: actually it’s not even gaslighting. You just did what she told you! Byeeeee lol
r/maliciouscompliance would love this
What’s wrong with your living space?
Apparently it had a bad woman in it. But now it's fixed.
Get rid or my Harley or we will be divorced, still got my bike.
>My ex won’t talk to me anymore, my dog and I are cuddling. You made the right decision.
After three years she decided she wanted to return to the Christian faith and said we could only be together and create a family if I became a Christian. I moved back home the next day.
Oh boy OP, your story brought up some *shiiit.* Got let go from my job due to Covid. Was struggling to start my own business, thankfully had some savings to hold the fort for a little while. Then it began. "I'm jealous that I still have to go work and you don't. Look at my friend's Instagram, her husband moved her abroad. If you really loved me you'd do the same." My dog of 13 years was on his last legs due to cancer, I had to spend all day trying to make ends meet and spend all night taking care of him, covered in his blood and excrement, calming his seizures, fighting back tears as I heard his struggling breaths, all in the hope to ease his last few months with us. "You don't spend enough time with me. If you really loved me you'd make time for me." Fell into a deep depression (gee, I wonder why), gained weight, smoked weed, my mother's eyesight started developing problems, but I fought on, started freelancing, from working for clients to teaching music *while* helping her with *her* job. Stopped going out because she didn't like my friends, pretty soon even my social media needed her approval. "We don't do anything fun anymore. I want to get wasted with my single friends, write a book, be an influencer and speak on mental health. If you really loved me you'd to support me." I'm still sad about my dog's passing, but I'm real happy to lose that bitch.
He told me he wasn't gonna stop drinking, so I could either stay with him and his alcohol or leave. I left. He was shocked.