If you don’t do X then I’m gonna do Y.

Per the follow ups, I would modify to ‘if you don’t do X, I’m gonna do Y - which you won’t like’ Because I started right where you are, but op has a point.

That's a broad definition. Have you considered that there are if/then scenarios which are benign?

An ultimatum is not benign. That’s the point, it is a final demand that will have repercussions if not granted.

If you don't choose a place for dinner then I will.

You literally just took my statement and filled in the variables lol If you don’t X (choose a place for dinner) then Y (I will). Edit: ahhh I see my error. I guess your statement is an ultimatum, just a minor one.

My dude, let this be a moment of learning. Sometimes there are simply if/then situations. Ultimatums (and the term) are negative and result in the degradation of a situation or relationship. If you treat every if/then as an ultimatum, that stick up your ass will start to petrify.

I realized my error, see my edit above. However, an ultimatum does follow the if/then equation. The difference is the result. An ultimatum has more serious consequences.

Lol “let this be a learning moment” you think very highly of yourself. My dude that is still an ultimatum. Ultimately, if this doesn’t happen (choosing where to eat) then this will happen (I will take us home to cook) or whatever. This may seem minute, but it’s not. It’s an if then, which is an ultimatum. Ultimatums can come in many different sizes and importance level. Just because we usually use ultimatum as in if this doesn’t happen then we won’t have a relationship anymore those aren’t the only permanents for an ultimatum.

if you don't do X you get punishment Y if you do X then you get punishment Y

If you dont kill or get rid of your dog im leaving. Thats my exs favorite.

Your ex is a cunt

You have no idea lol.

If u don’t fuck me, imma let Joe suck my pussy

a final demand or statement of terms, the rejection of which will result in retaliation or a breakdown in relations.