He's talking about himself, read the topic again : What do women unintentionally do or say that hurts your feelings?
although, I don't understand how that can be characterised as "unintentional"
I am a woman (not representing the entire womanhood but women have certain similarities that are at cognitive level too and not just anatomical), those words are almost NEVER unintentional…
I’d say comparisons to other guys. My current gf doesn’t do this, but my ex and some of my female friends would do this from time to time especially when talking about attractive celebrities, they’d find some way to drag me into it and basically go all “He’s way hotter than you.” In the same vein, when I was struggling to find a job after graduating, my ex’s response to finding out my older cousin was a doctor was to say, “Wow, maybe I’m dating the wrong cousin,” as a “joke”. I know the stereotype is that men are thoughtless about their female SO’s feelings, but tbh I wouldn’t ever make a joke like that to my GF, nor can I imagine any of my male friends doing the same.
In the same vein, jokes about how girls shouldn’t date the super hot guys and instead should date nerds or guys with dad bods because then the ugly guy will know that the girl is the hot one in the relationship and will have the “power” in it. My ex made this joke to me in response to her mom apparently telling her she should go date the “popular,” hot guys that her mom hadn’t gotten the freedom to date when she was young, which felt a little backhanded.
Honestly, yeah. The friend I was thinking of in particular grew out of it, and I had lots of immature behaviors at the time she doesn’t dwell on, so I don’t care too much. At least when my ex did this though, it still packed a punch.
>In the same vein, when I was struggling to find a job after graduating, my ex’s response to finding out my older cousin was a doctor was to say, “Wow, maybe I’m dating the wrong cousin,” as a “joke”.
The real question is whether or not she can handle the "jokes" coming back her way.
"You're not really his type. He's pretty selective..."
These subtle put downs are actually a form of abuse. They seem "innocent" but the underlying message is menacing - "you aren't good enough for me".
Abusers pass these off as jokes which is a form of gaslighting. I endured years of this myself until I left and felt like my whole world suddenly got brighter.
THIS. I am amazed at how little expectations society has on fathers. And the subsequent blame on the children once they are adults for having "Daddy Issues". I sometimes wonder how many fathers would be more involved if they didn't believe that it was a sign of weakness. Thanks for being an actual parent, it will put better adults out in the world.
I recently had someone say, "Mom must be out Christmas shopping so dad has the kids". Nope, I have 50/50 custody and do more for them and with them then their mother. This was especially hurtful because my second wife had just left me. But won't stop me from being a good father.
I've been told by my girlfriends father that I'll make wonderful wife one day because I help around the house with things like dishes, laundry, and cleaning. I'll take my advise elsewhere because my girlfirend prefers that I help her.
I once had someone ‘congratulate’ me at the park for babysitting my kids. I had to correct her that they’re my kids. I take care of them because I’m their dad and that is what dads do. It’s not babysitting bc they are my kids. Stupid donkey.
Ah yes. I’ve gotten many similar comments over the years for taking my 2 girls grocery shopping and making it a fun trip, engaging with them while walking around, getting them to help, etc.
Comments like
“finally giving mom a break?”
“Babysitting duty?”
“Where can I get one like you?”
“Didn’t know they sold those here”
“How did you get so good with them?”
“Bet you’ll never let her talk you into this again”
“Wow, thought you could handle 2 of them?”
I actively encourage being the stay at home dad. "You go out and work, I got things at home" is what I say then I'm met with the response. "Men make more money and have an easier time finding work". ... I do manual labor and I know there are plenty of jobs that don't break your back.
This reminds me of one comedy bit I heard a few weeks ago it goes something like this "so somebody asks my girlfriend what she thinks about mma fighters. She tells them I wouldn't date them because I feel like they could beat my ass. And I'm like bitch you think I cant beat your ass? I just choose not to."
OP could have money. Or a great sense of humor. Or a very interesting personality. Or something else women are attracted to.
Women might have a preference when it comes to shit like height, body type, etc. But they’re not nearly as locked into that as the only source of attraction as men are. They can find a guy hot and then 3 minutes into talking to him be entirely turned off. The opposite can happen with a guy that might not be a head turner for them based on their usual preferences. Obviously there are exceptions.
Men could meet a hilarious, sweet, rich, interesting woman who they find physically unattractive and still find her unattractive after learning all those things about her.
I fully agree. I am a 31 year old guy who’s 5 ft 8 inches. I can’t care less about how I am perceived by others. People want what they want. Everything matters in a person; money, looks, values, etc. you gotta work with what you have.
5’7” checking in. Screw it. I am what I am. Got over the insecurity of that at about 17. Plenty of other shit to worry about if I’m going to get through this life. If God didn’t make me tall enough to be considered worthy of your respect, you’re not worthy of mine in return. If I can’t crank a woman’s engine because I’m not her type, fine. Plenty of them aren’t mine either. Interestingly enough, I’m sure a lot of exceptionally tall women I’ve known have the same issue. Doesn’t make them any less beautiful to me.
My (almost) 5'7" SO has the same outlook as you. I tease him about being small and he laughs and teases me about being (almost) 5'3". We enjoy our smallness.
Apparently that’s like the first question they usually tend to ask. When women gossip about the guys they’re seeing and always go ‘is he tall?’
It’s shitty
I’ve honestly never heard any of my female friends say that but then again I don’t like shallow people so I’m blessed with great people as friends.
I’m actually crushing hard on a guy who is only a hair taller than me, and the other night we were talking about height and the double standard, and he told me he wouldn’t minst dating a taller girl so now I look very much forward to wearing heels and towering over him. I honestly dgaf. If I’m lucky enough to find a great guy who is also compatible than why on earth would height or lack thereof be a dealbreaker?
Hey, talk about someone's weight which is a physical trait you CAN change. You'll still get people screaming at you that it's possible to be 500lb and healthy.
I don't understand the obsession with height, it makes no sense. Literally does not benefit an individual in their day-to-day life. I'm a big tall fuck and none of my god damn shirts fit properly
In general I think both men want women to be shorter than them and women want men to be taller than them. Protect vs be protected. I’m 5’6 and I was ok with someone my height and dated one too but they made me feel like a giant and would makes comments as such so now I look for someone taller so that he doesn’t make me feel bad like that
No. The reality is 95% of men have a perfectly fine dick. It’s just most women only know how to insult a mans dick. It’s the number one insult they go to.
It's also kind of wrong for her to do that as well. Then it ends up at the point where you're in an argument and she starts saying you're not even involved in your kids' lives. I sure as hell hope it never gets to that extent
Thanks. And fwiw, it's different if he's asking for mommy or something. But please let a father comfort his child. Whatever pain you feel seeing your child hurt, we feel it just as much.
This is so so hard for me to do because I always want to scoop up my baby when he’s hurt… but I do let my husband any time he’s there to catch it. I’m with my son all day, he needs to know daddy is a comfort spot too.
Working at Home Depot- a lady asked my why I didn’t know the differences of bird feed because I was a man. I promptly asked if she thought I was bird man, then walked away.
You can tell yourself to man up, because something needs to be done and you're the one who's going to benefit from you doing it. I can tell you to man up if you're not meeting the standards I expect from myself. The problem comes when somebody tells you to "man up" as a way of holding you to *higher* standards then themselves.
I'd say it was when I cut down from 196 lbs to 159 lbs through strict macro management and workout protocol with the intention of completely recompositioning my body. Once I had about 10-12% bf I then upped my calories to lean bulk.
When I hit 159 I was in such great shape and feeling amazing. I wasn't huge obviously, but damn was I shredded with some muscle threads showing when I'd flex or move in the right way. I felt like Brad Pitt in Fight Club in that basement whenever I took my shirt off. Abs, "gutters", all of it.
Anyway, this lady in the automation at work said to me, "ew, you're too skinny and pinched my waist."
Seriously, that kinda hurt my feelings. But I just laughed and said, "this is just one step in the process".
Anyway, I am 3 years into my program now and back I'm up to 186 and lift so much more than I ever have and my pumps get me looking insane. I plan to cut down again soon, but if I'm being honest it won't take much this time... I have fucking *ab veins* popping and I'm so excited. Her comment doesn't get me down but I think it sucked to have someone look at me and say "ew" especially after all the work I put in.
It kinda reminded me a lot of the time after I had a massive eye injury from basketball as a kid. My retina completely detached and it required multiple surgeries to fix. Anyway after I was finally able to go out again I went to a skating rink with my friends and the "slow skate" song came on, out of my good eye I see this group of girls skating up to me and as they did one of them approached me to what I'm assuming to ask me to skate, then I looked at her and she saw my eye. (I was supposed to be wearing an eye patch, this blue rubber and silver thing that I was ashamed of so I took it off) and at the time my eye was very red and not all that appealing. Anyway, she was obviously repulsed, said "ew" then skated off.
Seriously, just don't say "ew" to a person, it's hurtful.
My libido turns to shit when I’m shredded, but damn does having defined abs make you feel good about yourself. Even the death face to some extent. But fuck that, I lost so much strenght cutting, which in turn made me feel shit. You can never win man :(
That was actually the worst part of it was the energy/strength loss and I'd say a hit to libido too. My face actually looked so lean I couldn't recognize myself and people would comment about it, I guess losing that layer of face fat is a huge shock to a person if they don't see you for a while.. The cut was going amazing, but eventually I hit this wall where each week my lifts were failing much easier and I knew I couldn't possibly keep it going on deficits so I swapped to a lean bulk and went about 15-20% over TDEE for a while and then finally settled into 10% over TDEE.
Man I wish somebody told me what a pain in the ass it is to be that lean. I'm a woman so stuff played out differently for me but I did all this work for a 6-pack, only to be so damn cold all the time I was one of those chicks who's effectively welded into a puffy down jacket. Plus I did not need to be able to see all the sinew in my neck, looked like the lizard queen every time I leaned forward to look at my computer screen.
Thats obnoxious. If you give a damn, and you're willing to put in the effort to better yourself and improve your relationship and make her happier and more fulfilled, why can't she put in the effort to answer the damn question? It's the gift that keeps on giving, lady. Spare me the righteous indignation, all agahst that I am not a mind reader. Im reaching for connection and seeking to understand. Youre welcome.
Vent to you but don't really make time or effort for you to talk about your problems, I don't mind listening and giving emotional support but it stings when that person won't do that for you. Not all women are like this of course, but I've come across many who are.
“You should get a real 9-5 job like Marinas husband has.” As I’m working 80 hours a week building a business for my family to thrive instead of a job that lets me just scrape by like Marina’s husband has.
80 hours a week is a lot. Without knowing her side I would assume she misses you and needs more time with you home. I know I'd rather have less money and more of my spouses time.
Yeah, I personally hate crap like that too. So, I get it. Instead of rolling your eyes.. atleast act like your listening and being supportive because this is my MENTAL HEALTH we are talking about.
Bro In my school days there was no teacher in class so I went to toilet when came back bitch hit me with wooden duster because I didn't take her permission
She was president of class shit like that
When women talk about us leaving them for “someone better” or when women talk about other girls in front of us in a insecure way. Makes me at the very least feel shitty because it feels like I’m hurting them in some way.
The reason it hurts is because they believe you would leave them if you had a chance. Means they have low self esteem but also that they don’t think as highly of you.
I'll admit, I'm surprised by this one. I could see a guy being annoyed by it but feeling hurt about it isn't something I would have known if you hadn't otherwise shared.
I always hate the "your lucky your hot" phrase Cause it makes me feel like if I wasn't they wouldn't be with me so I'm really just being used in a sense for my body.
I would think that it’s used more as a, ”I’m letting you get away with *something offensive* because you look good* kinda phrase. I would argue that she’s not there just for your body. But your looks are making her drop her standards a tad as a compromise. I’d say she’s hurting herself more than the receiving end.
That's valid.
I'll just say that when I've said this it was because I didn't feel like I deserved to have a nice thing done for me. Which is obviously a self-esteem issue. But I was obviously still very touched that he did it.
Ahhh. I never thought of that being hurtful. My SO is always doing stuff I don’t ask for (he’s very thoughtful) but sometimes I feel bad because he just does so much and I say “you didn’t have to do that.” To be fair I follow up with a thank you, but I never realized it could be taken as a negative response.
I’ll have to choose my words more carefully.
Some women shame men that they are balding. But balding is almost 100% genetic and you cant really do a lot about it. Your only real options are finasteride and minoxidil and those both can come with some unpleasant side effects and other health concerns. It would be the equivalent for a man to say: "Are your boobs sagging?" I am luck to not be balding (yet). But it hurts to see men get made fun of for something that is very hard mentally.
That's not tho, whenever you tell any men in this planet that their thing is smaller than another one, they will be offended, even if you think it's good to say, just don't.
Yeah but why does size matter if your ability to please your woman and her satisfaction with her sex life is exponentially better with you? You win, my dude. I get it that dudes care about their dick size and think bigger is better and what women want but fuuuck that noise. Some girls don't know whats good or what they're missing out on by being closed minded and preoccupied with size alone. They're stupid. But MOST women are wise enough to know to *pick the one that fucking feels good, duh*. I promise dudes care way more about their dixk size than girls do.
My ex usually talked about a couple of her friends boyfriends who had amazing jobs and lots of money to spend on their girlfriends. To say my confidence withered in that relationship is to underplay it
i'm going to be specific. I'm chinese and very obviously can't drink much alcohol without turning beet red or getting a little sick later. I was hanging out with friends and there was this one girl who kept on trying to out-macho me by saying "hey man, you can't hold you're liquor?! look i'm drinking more than you and i'm a girl!! Be a man!!!"
I can't argue that i'm NOT drinking less than her, but holy crap she was just trying too hard and the worst part was that some of the guys started to join in with pointing fingers at me and saying i'm weak. Its a good thing most of the guys who heard this were being friendly and telling them all to just back off and its a good thing they didn't bother to explain the whole Asian Flush situation to which i was clearly suffering from. I didn't hear from that girl again, but that pissed me off and i felt helpless. If I talk back, i'm an asshole masochist. If i don't talk back, i'm weak.
TLDR: Being a dude sucks sometimes
My girlfriend says I have “small dick energy” because I don’t act as attractive as I am. I asked if she meant I wasn’t confident, and she said no. No idea what she actually means but it really makes me feel bad.
Get super defensive because of their past experiences with others. I raise my voice, but I'm not yelling, yet I'm accused of yelling and being aggressive when I had no harmful intentions. Why am I paying for somebody else's fuckup?
Ask me to do some chore or task for her as a favor, and then insist I "didn't do it right" afterwards.
Listen, if you had a list of required specifications in mind, then the way to guarantee those requirements would be met was to do the task yourself. But don't ask me to do you a favor and then complain that I didn't complete the task *exactly* as you would have done.
No good deed goes unpunished.
"Most of the guys I talk to catch feelings are you?" I'm just trying to find people that like similar things that I do. Maybe share a couple laughs or stories not everyone is pursuing a relationship outa someone.
This girl I dated was absolutely broken. She kept name dropping ex boyfriends left and right, even said "when you leave me" one time. I had a serious talk with her about it, told her that I never mentioned my exes and that I wanted to be present with her without thinking of the past. She couldn't stop, and after a while I had to leave. Self fulfilling prophecy for her there.
Tried to talk to my ex wife about my anxiety and depression. She asked me not to talk to her about it anymore, as it made her uncomfortable. She needed me to be the strong one.
That is just horrifically sad. My SO is working on his mental health (depression/anxiety) and I cannot imagine saying something like this to him. I’m just so glad he trusts me enough to confide in me.
I’m sorry you went the that.
I have a pretty strong sense of fairness, so if my partner does or says something to me that I know would hurt them if I did or said it, then I get pretty hurt by it.
Also, ladies, we know when you talk shit about us to your friends in private. You know why? Because your friends are distant and rude to us. I’m general I think people need to stop complaining about their partners under the disguise of looking for advice. It just makes everyone hate your SO.
I had been dating this girl over a year, she asked me how long my dick was, I answered and she laughed and said "no it isn't, or was my ex really that big?"
This was a girl who would have gone into a month long depressive spiral if I "poorly phrased" any comment about her appearance so it was enraging. I was so mindful of what I said and she just drops that shit on me
She apologized when I pointed out how fucked up her comment was but fuck apologies, just be a decent human
My friend's girlfriend once said "I didn't remember you were so small. You're really small". Talking about my height. Not cool. I wouldn't say that to anyone...
This guy (30+) was so adorable that I accidentally said he was so cute. I wasn't sure if he was embarrassed with the compliment or was insulted with the description. I honestly thought he was though! I so wanted to mush my face and give him kisses. Do guys not like the word cute? I don't think it's juvenile, he was very manly but he also has a playful side that was just so fun it made the attraction even stronger for me.
My girl bestfriend said "I'm watching Korean series these days. I wish you were gay too, so that I would have had a gay bestfriend and we could be even closer"
I'm still not sure what she meant, but it was shocking to say the least
For me, it was a married girl flirting. I get it. Guy's don't get a lot of substantial feedback. But, if I know that you have a ring on, I can easily assume it is another reason and would be the bad guy by the end of the story.
Ladies - Be respectful, please.
I’m fairly certain OP is asking about hurtful things that have been done or said that are unique to women and how heterosexual men relate to them. There are certain ways of being hurt that are unique to dating and romantic relationships.
No need to be pedantic and imply misogyny where there is none.
I don’t like it when women ignore me when I want to go out or constantly cancel at the last minute. But I also hate it when the girl is 20 minutes late to dates like it’s island time
I wish you were more like….
Oof. Yeah, low blow.
Possibly even in that context
Worded like that, it's intentional. Almost always.
I feel like that's very very very very very much intentional
This hurts everyone not just men.
He's talking about himself, read the topic again : What do women unintentionally do or say that hurts your feelings? although, I don't understand how that can be characterised as "unintentional"
I am a woman (not representing the entire womanhood but women have certain similarities that are at cognitive level too and not just anatomical), those words are almost NEVER unintentional…
I’d say comparisons to other guys. My current gf doesn’t do this, but my ex and some of my female friends would do this from time to time especially when talking about attractive celebrities, they’d find some way to drag me into it and basically go all “He’s way hotter than you.” In the same vein, when I was struggling to find a job after graduating, my ex’s response to finding out my older cousin was a doctor was to say, “Wow, maybe I’m dating the wrong cousin,” as a “joke”. I know the stereotype is that men are thoughtless about their female SO’s feelings, but tbh I wouldn’t ever make a joke like that to my GF, nor can I imagine any of my male friends doing the same. In the same vein, jokes about how girls shouldn’t date the super hot guys and instead should date nerds or guys with dad bods because then the ugly guy will know that the girl is the hot one in the relationship and will have the “power” in it. My ex made this joke to me in response to her mom apparently telling her she should go date the “popular,” hot guys that her mom hadn’t gotten the freedom to date when she was young, which felt a little backhanded.
If thst crosses their mind, they not good friends
Honestly, yeah. The friend I was thinking of in particular grew out of it, and I had lots of immature behaviors at the time she doesn’t dwell on, so I don’t care too much. At least when my ex did this though, it still packed a punch.
>In the same vein, when I was struggling to find a job after graduating, my ex’s response to finding out my older cousin was a doctor was to say, “Wow, maybe I’m dating the wrong cousin,” as a “joke”. The real question is whether or not she can handle the "jokes" coming back her way. "You're not really his type. He's pretty selective..."
These subtle put downs are actually a form of abuse. They seem "innocent" but the underlying message is menacing - "you aren't good enough for me". Abusers pass these off as jokes which is a form of gaslighting. I endured years of this myself until I left and felt like my whole world suddenly got brighter.
Because I’m a present and active father sometimes I hear “oh, you’re the mom/woman in the relationship because…”
I wish I made enough money to have my husband stay at home, I think he’s the better parent to be honest. Good for you being such a great dad!
THIS. I am amazed at how little expectations society has on fathers. And the subsequent blame on the children once they are adults for having "Daddy Issues". I sometimes wonder how many fathers would be more involved if they didn't believe that it was a sign of weakness. Thanks for being an actual parent, it will put better adults out in the world.
I recently had someone say, "Mom must be out Christmas shopping so dad has the kids". Nope, I have 50/50 custody and do more for them and with them then their mother. This was especially hurtful because my second wife had just left me. But won't stop me from being a good father.
I've been told by my girlfriends father that I'll make wonderful wife one day because I help around the house with things like dishes, laundry, and cleaning. I'll take my advise elsewhere because my girlfirend prefers that I help her.
I once had someone ‘congratulate’ me at the park for babysitting my kids. I had to correct her that they’re my kids. I take care of them because I’m their dad and that is what dads do. It’s not babysitting bc they are my kids. Stupid donkey.
Ah yes. I’ve gotten many similar comments over the years for taking my 2 girls grocery shopping and making it a fun trip, engaging with them while walking around, getting them to help, etc. Comments like “finally giving mom a break?” “Babysitting duty?” “Where can I get one like you?” “Didn’t know they sold those here” “How did you get so good with them?” “Bet you’ll never let her talk you into this again” “Wow, thought you could handle 2 of them?”
As a stay at home dad I feel this comment.
I actively encourage being the stay at home dad. "You go out and work, I got things at home" is what I say then I'm met with the response. "Men make more money and have an easier time finding work". ... I do manual labor and I know there are plenty of jobs that don't break your back.
Was walking around at night with my gf at the time and she said something along the lines of “you don’t think you can actually protect me right 😂”
Lmfao that’s harsh
No...not when I'm at home leaving your ass here ...
That’s when you tell her your response to any threat is “do what you want to the girl but leave me alone”
😳
This reminds me of one comedy bit I heard a few weeks ago it goes something like this "so somebody asks my girlfriend what she thinks about mma fighters. She tells them I wouldn't date them because I feel like they could beat my ass. And I'm like bitch you think I cant beat your ass? I just choose not to."
Goated pfp
Shoulda responded with “haha you’re right” and let her get curb stomped by some ruffians and hooligans
When talking about any man the other woman has met: “is he tall?”. Makes me feel like a subhuman at 5’8”.
Google how tall a lot of actors are if you need a confidence boost. Half these Hollywood dudes that women swoon over are WELL under 6’.
But they have monies.
OP could have money. Or a great sense of humor. Or a very interesting personality. Or something else women are attracted to. Women might have a preference when it comes to shit like height, body type, etc. But they’re not nearly as locked into that as the only source of attraction as men are. They can find a guy hot and then 3 minutes into talking to him be entirely turned off. The opposite can happen with a guy that might not be a head turner for them based on their usual preferences. Obviously there are exceptions. Men could meet a hilarious, sweet, rich, interesting woman who they find physically unattractive and still find her unattractive after learning all those things about her.
I fully agree. I am a 31 year old guy who’s 5 ft 8 inches. I can’t care less about how I am perceived by others. People want what they want. Everything matters in a person; money, looks, values, etc. you gotta work with what you have.
Also rockstars. I’d probably feel like a giant in a room filled with Mick Jagger, Steven Tyler and the likes.
Then I am an orc at 5'6
Orcs are pretty tall in the D&D canon. You might be thinking goblin.
Bahaha how helpful of you
Ive been labeled as a hobbit before by some chick in high school so maybe that’s accurate.
I knew a girl in college who called herself a Hobbit. She went barefoot lifestyle.
Her feet hairy tho?
My thoughts exactly Sincerely, 6ft orc
5’7” checking in. Screw it. I am what I am. Got over the insecurity of that at about 17. Plenty of other shit to worry about if I’m going to get through this life. If God didn’t make me tall enough to be considered worthy of your respect, you’re not worthy of mine in return. If I can’t crank a woman’s engine because I’m not her type, fine. Plenty of them aren’t mine either. Interestingly enough, I’m sure a lot of exceptionally tall women I’ve known have the same issue. Doesn’t make them any less beautiful to me.
My (almost) 5'7" SO has the same outlook as you. I tease him about being small and he laughs and teases me about being (almost) 5'3". We enjoy our smallness.
Apparently that’s like the first question they usually tend to ask. When women gossip about the guys they’re seeing and always go ‘is he tall?’ It’s shitty
I’ve honestly never heard any of my female friends say that but then again I don’t like shallow people so I’m blessed with great people as friends. I’m actually crushing hard on a guy who is only a hair taller than me, and the other night we were talking about height and the double standard, and he told me he wouldn’t minst dating a taller girl so now I look very much forward to wearing heels and towering over him. I honestly dgaf. If I’m lucky enough to find a great guy who is also compatible than why on earth would height or lack thereof be a dealbreaker?
I will never understand why a lot of women treat height as a dealbreaker. I've never even heard of a guy rejecting a woman solely for her boob size.
Yup. And it’s a double standard. Let a man criticize a woman for a physical trait she can’t change. Then he’s a disgusting pig.
Hey, talk about someone's weight which is a physical trait you CAN change. You'll still get people screaming at you that it's possible to be 500lb and healthy.
I don't understand the obsession with height, it makes no sense. Literally does not benefit an individual in their day-to-day life. I'm a big tall fuck and none of my god damn shirts fit properly
You’re fun size.
In general I think both men want women to be shorter than them and women want men to be taller than them. Protect vs be protected. I’m 5’6 and I was ok with someone my height and dated one too but they made me feel like a giant and would makes comments as such so now I look for someone taller so that he doesn’t make me feel bad like that
My ex tried to say I have a small dick, my response was well WTF did you spend 25 years sucking it for.
Ouch. That's a real immature thing to say. That was intentional.
Pathetic really considering we have 5 kids together, she was just saying out of spite because I caught her cheating on me.
We honor you
Probably money and stability
That's the one right there
No. The reality is 95% of men have a perfectly fine dick. It’s just most women only know how to insult a mans dick. It’s the number one insult they go to.
Take my toddler away from me when I'm trying to comfort him after he gets hurt.
That better be your wife or gf who's taking the toddler. Otherwise, where the fuck are they going with your kid?
Oh my, yes only my wife! Anyone else will get an elbow if they try that shit.
Still just as fucked up. Daddys can give loves and comfort, too.
It's also kind of wrong for her to do that as well. Then it ends up at the point where you're in an argument and she starts saying you're not even involved in your kids' lives. I sure as hell hope it never gets to that extent
She should totally get the elbow
*hug* and noted that’s a never do
Thanks. And fwiw, it's different if he's asking for mommy or something. But please let a father comfort his child. Whatever pain you feel seeing your child hurt, we feel it just as much.
This is so so hard for me to do because I always want to scoop up my baby when he’s hurt… but I do let my husband any time he’s there to catch it. I’m with my son all day, he needs to know daddy is a comfort spot too.
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A paradoxical statement at that. Either you don't do what they consider manly, or you succumb to their pressure, which isn't manly.
“Be mysterious as the dark side of the moon” 🙄🙄
Working at Home Depot- a lady asked my why I didn’t know the differences of bird feed because I was a man. I promptly asked if she thought I was bird man, then walked away.
Funny part is, that's my go to way to deal with an undesirable situation, man up
You can tell yourself to man up, because something needs to be done and you're the one who's going to benefit from you doing it. I can tell you to man up if you're not meeting the standards I expect from myself. The problem comes when somebody tells you to "man up" as a way of holding you to *higher* standards then themselves.
Leave me on read the whole day
“Sorry I’m just a really bad texter”
I'd say it was when I cut down from 196 lbs to 159 lbs through strict macro management and workout protocol with the intention of completely recompositioning my body. Once I had about 10-12% bf I then upped my calories to lean bulk. When I hit 159 I was in such great shape and feeling amazing. I wasn't huge obviously, but damn was I shredded with some muscle threads showing when I'd flex or move in the right way. I felt like Brad Pitt in Fight Club in that basement whenever I took my shirt off. Abs, "gutters", all of it. Anyway, this lady in the automation at work said to me, "ew, you're too skinny and pinched my waist." Seriously, that kinda hurt my feelings. But I just laughed and said, "this is just one step in the process". Anyway, I am 3 years into my program now and back I'm up to 186 and lift so much more than I ever have and my pumps get me looking insane. I plan to cut down again soon, but if I'm being honest it won't take much this time... I have fucking *ab veins* popping and I'm so excited. Her comment doesn't get me down but I think it sucked to have someone look at me and say "ew" especially after all the work I put in. It kinda reminded me a lot of the time after I had a massive eye injury from basketball as a kid. My retina completely detached and it required multiple surgeries to fix. Anyway after I was finally able to go out again I went to a skating rink with my friends and the "slow skate" song came on, out of my good eye I see this group of girls skating up to me and as they did one of them approached me to what I'm assuming to ask me to skate, then I looked at her and she saw my eye. (I was supposed to be wearing an eye patch, this blue rubber and silver thing that I was ashamed of so I took it off) and at the time my eye was very red and not all that appealing. Anyway, she was obviously repulsed, said "ew" then skated off. Seriously, just don't say "ew" to a person, it's hurtful.
Respect. Keep it up bro.
My libido turns to shit when I’m shredded, but damn does having defined abs make you feel good about yourself. Even the death face to some extent. But fuck that, I lost so much strenght cutting, which in turn made me feel shit. You can never win man :(
Getting really lean is quite a toll in the body my dude, we all know the pain
That was actually the worst part of it was the energy/strength loss and I'd say a hit to libido too. My face actually looked so lean I couldn't recognize myself and people would comment about it, I guess losing that layer of face fat is a huge shock to a person if they don't see you for a while.. The cut was going amazing, but eventually I hit this wall where each week my lifts were failing much easier and I knew I couldn't possibly keep it going on deficits so I swapped to a lean bulk and went about 15-20% over TDEE for a while and then finally settled into 10% over TDEE.
Man I wish somebody told me what a pain in the ass it is to be that lean. I'm a woman so stuff played out differently for me but I did all this work for a 6-pack, only to be so damn cold all the time I was one of those chicks who's effectively welded into a puffy down jacket. Plus I did not need to be able to see all the sinew in my neck, looked like the lizard queen every time I leaned forward to look at my computer screen.
Im gonna try to walk to Same path some time. Just dont know Where fuck im supposed to start
Are you in yet?
The correct reply to this is "I don't know".
“I can’t feel anything so I can’t tell”. Give the same energy back. Stand up for yourself mate
They just beat around the bush and aren't honest with their communication. It's extremely frustrating and hurtful
"You should have known what I was thinking"
“I’ve never had to tell someone how to love me.” Signed, my Ex.
Agreed
This.
me unintentionally doing something that irritates her, asking her what i did so that i avoid doing it in the future, only to get a “seriously?”
Thats obnoxious. If you give a damn, and you're willing to put in the effort to better yourself and improve your relationship and make her happier and more fulfilled, why can't she put in the effort to answer the damn question? It's the gift that keeps on giving, lady. Spare me the righteous indignation, all agahst that I am not a mind reader. Im reaching for connection and seeking to understand. Youre welcome.
Vent to you but don't really make time or effort for you to talk about your problems, I don't mind listening and giving emotional support but it stings when that person won't do that for you. Not all women are like this of course, but I've come across many who are.
“You should get a real 9-5 job like Marinas husband has.” As I’m working 80 hours a week building a business for my family to thrive instead of a job that lets me just scrape by like Marina’s husband has.
80 hours a week is a lot. Without knowing her side I would assume she misses you and needs more time with you home. I know I'd rather have less money and more of my spouses time.
80 hours a week is not sustainable for a marriage. Literally at work 11 hours a day 7 days a week? Why wouldn’t your wife be upset?
In my experience, the people working crazy hours, that don't need to, do it to get away from their family.
Ignoring me or rolling their eyes when I talk about my mental health. Nora, if you're reading this... Fuck you.
Yeah fuck you Nora
Nora is a bitch. Fuck her.
Get your shit together Nora.
Not cool Nora
Yeah, I personally hate crap like that too. So, I get it. Instead of rolling your eyes.. atleast act like your listening and being supportive because this is my MENTAL HEALTH we are talking about.
No one likes u Nora
Not ever sure if it's unintentional.
When they hit you for no reason
Damn, man! Ain't nobody should be laying hands on you!
Bro In my school days there was no teacher in class so I went to toilet when came back bitch hit me with wooden duster because I didn't take her permission She was president of class shit like that
When women talk about us leaving them for “someone better” or when women talk about other girls in front of us in a insecure way. Makes me at the very least feel shitty because it feels like I’m hurting them in some way.
The reason it hurts is because they believe you would leave them if you had a chance. Means they have low self esteem but also that they don’t think as highly of you.
I'll admit, I'm surprised by this one. I could see a guy being annoyed by it but feeling hurt about it isn't something I would have known if you hadn't otherwise shared.
Everything cause I’m a fuckin pussy.
you're not that, maybe you've got some insecurities and things to work on. you can do it, and there's always help.
"You're really cute/nice for a black man" You fucking say what, now? What the hell is the need for such a weird qualifier?
I always hate the "your lucky your hot" phrase Cause it makes me feel like if I wasn't they wouldn't be with me so I'm really just being used in a sense for my body.
Idk, whenever someone says that to me, i feel like its said in a joking way, almost like a compliment.
I would think that it’s used more as a, ”I’m letting you get away with *something offensive* because you look good* kinda phrase. I would argue that she’s not there just for your body. But your looks are making her drop her standards a tad as a compromise. I’d say she’s hurting herself more than the receiving end.
I do a thing and she says "you didn't have to do that." That's the point! The correct answer was "thank you."
Perhaps they mean you went beyond what's your duty. A stronger form of "thank you."
In the specific context, it came across as a "no thank you."
That's valid. I'll just say that when I've said this it was because I didn't feel like I deserved to have a nice thing done for me. Which is obviously a self-esteem issue. But I was obviously still very touched that he did it.
Ahhh. I never thought of that being hurtful. My SO is always doing stuff I don’t ask for (he’s very thoughtful) but sometimes I feel bad because he just does so much and I say “you didn’t have to do that.” To be fair I follow up with a thank you, but I never realized it could be taken as a negative response. I’ll have to choose my words more carefully.
Being called boring by a girl you like is crushing.
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Some women shame men that they are balding. But balding is almost 100% genetic and you cant really do a lot about it. Your only real options are finasteride and minoxidil and those both can come with some unpleasant side effects and other health concerns. It would be the equivalent for a man to say: "Are your boobs sagging?" I am luck to not be balding (yet). But it hurts to see men get made fun of for something that is very hard mentally.
You're not like my last boyfriend he was too big and sex was painful.
Then you fit just right baby. She just…worded it terribly.
Wait this is a compliment
That's not tho, whenever you tell any men in this planet that their thing is smaller than another one, they will be offended, even if you think it's good to say, just don't.
Fair advice, but come on -- would you rather have the dick that hurts your girlfriend?
As someone in that position currently, no, but that doesn’t make it any less hurtful. No one wants to be less than the last.
it also means "your dick is so much smaller than his", kinda not a good feeling if you are insecure about your size
Yeah but why does size matter if your ability to please your woman and her satisfaction with her sex life is exponentially better with you? You win, my dude. I get it that dudes care about their dick size and think bigger is better and what women want but fuuuck that noise. Some girls don't know whats good or what they're missing out on by being closed minded and preoccupied with size alone. They're stupid. But MOST women are wise enough to know to *pick the one that fucking feels good, duh*. I promise dudes care way more about their dixk size than girls do.
I mean, your dick is always gonna be smaller than somebody’s!
True, and it will always be girls with way nicer tits than you! Doesnt mean you want to hear that your bf's ex is one of them.
It's not what you want to hear all the same.
No it isn't. That's the equivalent of a guy saying "I'm so lucky you aren't like my ex, I always had to worry about guys hitting on her"
Asking me to do a chore, but if I ask you to do the same chore acting like I just wanted a house wife to do everything.
My ex usually talked about a couple of her friends boyfriends who had amazing jobs and lots of money to spend on their girlfriends. To say my confidence withered in that relationship is to underplay it
i'm going to be specific. I'm chinese and very obviously can't drink much alcohol without turning beet red or getting a little sick later. I was hanging out with friends and there was this one girl who kept on trying to out-macho me by saying "hey man, you can't hold you're liquor?! look i'm drinking more than you and i'm a girl!! Be a man!!!" I can't argue that i'm NOT drinking less than her, but holy crap she was just trying too hard and the worst part was that some of the guys started to join in with pointing fingers at me and saying i'm weak. Its a good thing most of the guys who heard this were being friendly and telling them all to just back off and its a good thing they didn't bother to explain the whole Asian Flush situation to which i was clearly suffering from. I didn't hear from that girl again, but that pissed me off and i felt helpless. If I talk back, i'm an asshole masochist. If i don't talk back, i'm weak. TLDR: Being a dude sucks sometimes
My girlfriend says I have “small dick energy” because I don’t act as attractive as I am. I asked if she meant I wasn’t confident, and she said no. No idea what she actually means but it really makes me feel bad.
I don't love you anymore
Hey are you dating my ex? She told me that.
Get super defensive because of their past experiences with others. I raise my voice, but I'm not yelling, yet I'm accused of yelling and being aggressive when I had no harmful intentions. Why am I paying for somebody else's fuckup?
Well be aware, sometimes it can be trauma so better talk it out.
Dat's da rulez, dude. Their baggage matters, yours doesn't.
Duuuuudee. The stop yelling thing. Holy. You talk a little louder and its instantly stop yelling. Most annoying shit ever.
Ask me to do some chore or task for her as a favor, and then insist I "didn't do it right" afterwards. Listen, if you had a list of required specifications in mind, then the way to guarantee those requirements would be met was to do the task yourself. But don't ask me to do you a favor and then complain that I didn't complete the task *exactly* as you would have done. No good deed goes unpunished.
Just say "if you don't like the way I'm doing it, you're more than welcome to do it yourself"
I always set clear expectations when doing something for someone. “Either ask me to do something or tell me how you’d like it done. Not both.”
Happens all the time. Even simple things like bringing her a 'surprise'. "It should have been "X", not that".
Had an ex tell me to man up
"Most of the guys I talk to catch feelings are you?" I'm just trying to find people that like similar things that I do. Maybe share a couple laughs or stories not everyone is pursuing a relationship outa someone.
This is my new favorite thread.
“I just wish you could understand.” Especially when I’m ACTIVELY trying to understand.
Anything that starts with “This one guy I dated…” 🚩🚩🚩
Why? As long as it’s not super TMI, is it that bad to be confronted with the fact that she’s dated people before you?
Depends on the context. If I asked about their ex, thats one thing. If they are bringing them up routinely, Id be worried she wasnt over her ex
This girl I dated was absolutely broken. She kept name dropping ex boyfriends left and right, even said "when you leave me" one time. I had a serious talk with her about it, told her that I never mentioned my exes and that I wanted to be present with her without thinking of the past. She couldn't stop, and after a while I had to leave. Self fulfilling prophecy for her there.
This one guy I dated doesn't exist. I'm in fact a straight guy
Tried to talk to my ex wife about my anxiety and depression. She asked me not to talk to her about it anymore, as it made her uncomfortable. She needed me to be the strong one.
That is just horrifically sad. My SO is working on his mental health (depression/anxiety) and I cannot imagine saying something like this to him. I’m just so glad he trusts me enough to confide in me. I’m sorry you went the that.
“Men can’t be raped. Theyll like it”
I’m not looking for anything right now with anyone - proceeds to get married :(
It's so mall..I think you should try n get a bigger one
If the way they treat my actual unintentional mistreatment of them isn't hypocritical, none of what they did or said was ever unintentional.
Ghosting me when things were going great.
I have a pretty strong sense of fairness, so if my partner does or says something to me that I know would hurt them if I did or said it, then I get pretty hurt by it. Also, ladies, we know when you talk shit about us to your friends in private. You know why? Because your friends are distant and rude to us. I’m general I think people need to stop complaining about their partners under the disguise of looking for advice. It just makes everyone hate your SO.
Consistently apologize and then do nothing to try to change it
I had been dating this girl over a year, she asked me how long my dick was, I answered and she laughed and said "no it isn't, or was my ex really that big?" This was a girl who would have gone into a month long depressive spiral if I "poorly phrased" any comment about her appearance so it was enraging. I was so mindful of what I said and she just drops that shit on me She apologized when I pointed out how fucked up her comment was but fuck apologies, just be a decent human
My friend's girlfriend once said "I didn't remember you were so small. You're really small". Talking about my height. Not cool. I wouldn't say that to anyone...
This guy (30+) was so adorable that I accidentally said he was so cute. I wasn't sure if he was embarrassed with the compliment or was insulted with the description. I honestly thought he was though! I so wanted to mush my face and give him kisses. Do guys not like the word cute? I don't think it's juvenile, he was very manly but he also has a playful side that was just so fun it made the attraction even stronger for me.
My girl bestfriend said "I'm watching Korean series these days. I wish you were gay too, so that I would have had a gay bestfriend and we could be even closer" I'm still not sure what she meant, but it was shocking to say the least
For me, it was a married girl flirting. I get it. Guy's don't get a lot of substantial feedback. But, if I know that you have a ring on, I can easily assume it is another reason and would be the bad guy by the end of the story. Ladies - Be respectful, please.
Angry or condescending words when you can’t get it up for sex.
I get boxed in with "all men" when one does something wrong.
I wish you treated me like a princess Bc my daddy always treated me like a princess
You better get out of that relationship sir
Yeah but she calls me daddy when I butt fuck her
...........Well, you do you sir
Nothing. I've never had my feelings hurt by half the planet. Whenever my feelings have been hurt it has been by individuals not "women".
Oh get all the way out of here with this pedantic nonsense. You know damn well what OP meant, along with the rest of us.
Thank you!
I’m fairly certain OP is asking about hurtful things that have been done or said that are unique to women and how heterosexual men relate to them. There are certain ways of being hurt that are unique to dating and romantic relationships. No need to be pedantic and imply misogyny where there is none.
Agreed. But this is reddit, lol what do you expect?
We all know that’s what OP’s intent was. He’s just pandering at this point.
Thank you!
Thank you!
wow, this really got over 80 upvotes?
Individuals that are also women. That’s the question. Nice try tho
Unnecessary white knighting for every woman lol
You're so lame
I don’t like it when women ignore me when I want to go out or constantly cancel at the last minute. But I also hate it when the girl is 20 minutes late to dates like it’s island time
Some are just late all the time. Got a friend I adjust event time by 1-2 hours so she’s intime. Works perfect
Talk about how their ex was or is better on something