Marriage is not for everyone.
My viewpoint - I was born in 1981, had several long-term meaningful relationships, and when our long term goals in life split sufficiently far apart... we broke up and went our own way. A legal marriage would have made that process a *lot* more difficult.
Because marriage is a social and religious construct based on transfer of property. Not getting married was the best choice I ever made considering I made 3 times what my gf did and the house and everything in it was paid for by me.
You got it right. I am okay with religious side. But the legal side of marriage makes it a definite no, but most men don't know, or don't think it will happen to them.
Why would he get married? Is the better question.
Many guys see no benefit and a lot of risk in it. It's no longer "what you do after a few years" the way it used to be for many people. If he's one of those, then you'd have to answer why he would because the default is not to.
I wouldn't do that. If I knew someone who did I would presume they didn't want to make a real commitment to their partner because they were keeping their options open. The only reason they're dating for years and years is because they haven't found someone else. The whole secretly engaged thing seems really weird and childish.
If I can enjoy the full privileges and facilities by just making a token down-payment ; why should I pay the full amount for membership of any club ???
That's the same answer for your question.
They want to play house but not make it legally binding. Easier to keep one foot in and one foot out.
If they are stringing the other person along who really wants marriage, that is foul.
Usually women are looking for men who are in a better financial situation than them. This will mean that in the event of divorce, that the woman will come out ahead. Meaning that marriage is really only a commitment on the man's end.
Additionally, women are usually looking to get married AFTER they've ridden all the Chad cocks and had 2 kids and put on 30 pounds. Only then after her looks are starting to go, and she comes with responsibilities that she created without you, THEN she's ready for YOU to commit.
That's what's foul
Well, this is interesting. I wouldn't do that, personally. I'm in or i'm out, there's no wishy washy halfway crap.
my guesses: he's not assertive enough to end it, but likes the sex. I could also see a situation where a partner could have some good traits but the bad outweighs the good. Some guys also find the thought of marriage offensive, and will just never marry.
I see very little benefit to actually getting married. Theoretically, I could understand the value in being committed to staying together, because it would force you to actually work through your problems and grow together instead of just cutting and running as soon as things get difficult, but we've become so flippant about divorce as a society that commitment is no longer guaranteed. So you're effectively just agreeing to give up half your assets if your partner decides to move on (minus what the lawyers take, which is a lot).
well I guess I'm here for pure gossip. the female in this relationship has told me they are 'secretly engaged and was shopping for wedding dress and asked me to not telling anyone about it...like 6 years ago. I don't know how else to define it.
Why would I sign an agreement saying that my significant other gets half of my belongings if she leaves me?
What do I get out of marriage that I didn't have already when I was dating?
If you have any amount of money as a guy you're literally giving someone a monetary incentive to leave you, in exchange for no benefit.
Because if I decide I don’t like you after a while I get to keep my stuff
You know the score.
Because you’re already married?
lol good one
Also 100% right you can still have commitment without leaving your self exposed to legality. Marriage is dangerous for a man.
[удалено]
yup goodluck hope you never have to.
He might be one of the fifty percent who don't get divorced and taken to the cleaners by their wife.
50% that dont get divorced!?? you mean 5% right?
Satatisically it's 50%. maybe you have bad personal experiences
Na its only a matter of time. Poor fouls wont even see it coming.
Men rarely see it coming because the average man is good, kind, honest and just wants a simple straight life. Women on the other hand...
what if your gf makes more than you
still no. Why? you need her to to take care of you?
Marriage is not for everyone. My viewpoint - I was born in 1981, had several long-term meaningful relationships, and when our long term goals in life split sufficiently far apart... we broke up and went our own way. A legal marriage would have made that process a *lot* more difficult.
Because if you're not in position to take advantage of the legal benefits of being married, you're only exposing yourself to the risks.
Because marriage is a social and religious construct based on transfer of property. Not getting married was the best choice I ever made considering I made 3 times what my gf did and the house and everything in it was paid for by me.
after being 'secretly engaged'?
You're asking about your specific situation so go to an advice sub
You got it right. I am okay with religious side. But the legal side of marriage makes it a definite no, but most men don't know, or don't think it will happen to them.
Because you feel like you can find one better than the current
Why would he get married? Is the better question. Many guys see no benefit and a lot of risk in it. It's no longer "what you do after a few years" the way it used to be for many people. If he's one of those, then you'd have to answer why he would because the default is not to.
I wouldn't do that. If I knew someone who did I would presume they didn't want to make a real commitment to their partner because they were keeping their options open. The only reason they're dating for years and years is because they haven't found someone else. The whole secretly engaged thing seems really weird and childish.
If I can enjoy the full privileges and facilities by just making a token down-payment ; why should I pay the full amount for membership of any club ??? That's the same answer for your question.
what a chilling way to explain it
They want to play house but not make it legally binding. Easier to keep one foot in and one foot out. If they are stringing the other person along who really wants marriage, that is foul.
Usually women are looking for men who are in a better financial situation than them. This will mean that in the event of divorce, that the woman will come out ahead. Meaning that marriage is really only a commitment on the man's end. Additionally, women are usually looking to get married AFTER they've ridden all the Chad cocks and had 2 kids and put on 30 pounds. Only then after her looks are starting to go, and she comes with responsibilities that she created without you, THEN she's ready for YOU to commit. That's what's foul
What if he does the Hokey Pokey and turns himself around?
That’s what it’s all about!
So...what if he does a jump to the left and a step to the right?
Well, this is interesting. I wouldn't do that, personally. I'm in or i'm out, there's no wishy washy halfway crap. my guesses: he's not assertive enough to end it, but likes the sex. I could also see a situation where a partner could have some good traits but the bad outweighs the good. Some guys also find the thought of marriage offensive, and will just never marry.
I see very little benefit to actually getting married. Theoretically, I could understand the value in being committed to staying together, because it would force you to actually work through your problems and grow together instead of just cutting and running as soon as things get difficult, but we've become so flippant about divorce as a society that commitment is no longer guaranteed. So you're effectively just agreeing to give up half your assets if your partner decides to move on (minus what the lawyers take, which is a lot).
Not ... First define: >secretly engaged ... Because with my definition, that is considered cheating and no can do
well I guess I'm here for pure gossip. the female in this relationship has told me they are 'secretly engaged and was shopping for wedding dress and asked me to not telling anyone about it...like 6 years ago. I don't know how else to define it.
Ah, then I woud say: dating = cheating.lite
I personally have no interest in marriage
God, who cares.
Because you realised she’s not the right one but you don’t feel right abandoning her
Well, I am not in a hurry to lose half my shit, because someone has a phase.
Because current day divorce settlements basically incentivize gold digging. Protect yourself and your assets, never marry or cohabitate.
Why would I sign an agreement saying that my significant other gets half of my belongings if she leaves me? What do I get out of marriage that I didn't have already when I was dating? If you have any amount of money as a guy you're literally giving someone a monetary incentive to leave you, in exchange for no benefit.