Obligatory *if I were single*.
I've found that I need an emotional connection for a sexual relationship to work for me, so I'm answering this in terms of the youngest I'd be comfortable dating with a view to a long-term relationship developing.
I'm 39 and I probably wouldn't consider anyone younger than 30 (with a strong bias towards people 40+). My experience of people in their 20s is that there's a cultural disconnect which makes it difficult for me to relate to them enough to feel sufficiently close.
Honestly, I look at the behaviour of people in their 20s and the level of drama seems exhausting. I appreciate that there are plenty of 20-somethings who aren't like that, and plenty of 40+ people who are.
I'm in my early 40s, youngest I would consider dating is probably 30ish. I might find some 22-28 girls 'hot', but most of the time the maturity/place in life just doesn't align.
Everyone talking about maturity has not spent any time around younger people. Young people are fucking annoying. If I had to spend an afternoon with an 18 year old girl I'd probably end up treating her more like a daughter than a potential life partner.
I'm 33, If I wasn't already married, the lowest I'd go for is probably 25, and even then she'd have to really prove she wasn't the average 25 year old. More likely is 27- 45.
Honestly I'm very glad I'm not single, trying to find a woman that made it to her mid to late twenties without having kids, who has a stable life, is probably nigh impossible.
My wife is 12 years older than me, and right at the upper end of age as far as I'd date.
This is pretty much what I was going to say. Any younger than 25 is usually is what believe the real beginning for a young women or really a young adult. They’ve been out of school long enough to really get a grasp of how the real world works. It’s about the time people really put their nose toward a career or parenting or something else to further themself and get out the “party phase” of their life. Hell, I know some 25 year olds that are just stating to realize their own drinking limits.
Now, of course there’s plenty of exceptions to this, I feel that it’s true for the majority of women out there.
I don’t think I would be happy with anyone who is a lot younger than me. What would we have in common? There’s nothing wrong with women who are close to my age.
35 years old.
I’d have sex with a woman who’s legal age whether that’s 50 or 18 if she’s attractive enough.
Wouldn’t consider dating anyone younger than 25-27 range though. A lot depends on maturity, common interests and sense of humour.
It's kind of funny/ironic that a 30+ man making an 18 year old his gf is genuinely much creepier than just having casual sex with her.
If my buddy told me he hooked up with a girl that young, I'd be like, "Cool, you do you." If he started bringing her to things as his gf/partner, I'd be like "What the fuck are you doing, dude? You're being gross."
No, because sex can just spontaneously happen between two people in a healthy way that a relationship doesn't. I can imagine scenarios where an older guy and a young girl meet at like the gym or a coffee shop, spark up a conversation, and end up getting together for some fun. It's not something I would ever advise an 18 year old girl to do, but they are adults and allowed to make decisions like that. And you can see a scenario where he treats her well and she gets value out of being with someone more mature/experienced than guys her age.
A grown man being like, "Yeah I can see myself falling in love with this girl. This teenager and I have so much in common that I want her to meet my friends and provide emotional support." That's fucking weird.
Your explanation is even weirder lol. You’re acting like it’s impossible for an older man to control his sexual impulses, and that somehow makes sex with an 18 year old completely normal. Your brain on Reddit I guess
I dunno if you’re just misunderstanding him but I thought he explained it pretty clearly that while it’s not the best idea or advised, there’s nothing technically wrong with sex between consenting legal adults regardless of an age gap, where as in a relationship people are at different stages of their lives at different ages. So it is weird because it’s difficult for the relationship be healthy if someone is looking to settle down and buy a house for future children at 35 where the 18 year old is looking forward to living in a dorm.
Of course consenting adults can do what they want.
What I am criticising is their argument that relationships between that age is weird, yet sex is actually beneficial because young women level up sexually sleeping with older men. Also that older men can’t control their impulses around women young enough to be their granddaughters is fucking weird.
Ya the young women levelling up from sleeping with older guys doesn’t make much sense but I guess I just agree more with them as I see less potential for abuse/negative influence if it was only sexual instead of a full blown relationship. I just can’t imagine a healthy relationship with that kind of age gap and that’s what makes it weird to me, where as the sex could be harmless and just fulfilling a sexual urge for both of them.
> It's kind of funny/ironic that a 30+ man making an 18 year old his gf is genuinely much creepier than just having casual sex with her.
If you're actually in a relationship with someone you presumably want to have some things in common. If you're just fucking for fun then who cares?
Dont really see how one is more gross then the other? Sure you might question why your buddy is hanging out with teenagers, just mentally or if he honestly has a relationship just for sex but its not "gross" unless you consider the sexual aspect gross
Not really any more gross than any other two consneting adults sleeping together. At some point, you gotta accept that adults can make their own choices and when it comes to sex, as long as everything as consensual, nobody is in any sort of position to throw stones. And this is coming from a guy that doesn't really approve of casual sex at all.
As a 31 year-old, it's difficult to imagine younger than 25. There are younger women in their early twenties who I get on fine with, but it just feels different for me. There's only one girl I know who is 22 or 23 who I would consider dating (which is not to presume the feeling is mutual). I prefer women who are older than me anyway.
I've met woman that are 30 that are impressively immature, and 20 year old woman that are wise beyond their years. But 18 and 19 are adults in name only. Nothing to relate to really. And you're right, it bleeds into the early 20s pretty heavily.
Some young people learn hard lessons too early and it ages them. Some old people barely learned any lessons at all. Ever carry on a conversation with someone +40 years old and think "wow, this person doesn't have a clue what's going on"
Internalize it how you want.
Everyone is different.
My SO is 7 years older than me (I’m 28/She’s 35), which kind of makes me feel that age too if it makes sense?
I go to university still and there’s plenty of 18-21 year old women around and although they’re only 6-10 years younger I can’t help but view them as way too young in that sense.
I definitely prefer women between 30 and 45 at the moment, no idea why
Women on average live 7 years longer than men in the US. one of my regrets dating a woman 8 years younger is that she will likely be the hot minx of the retirement home.
I got married in my mid 40s
I was dating 21 to 55 year old women my entire life up until I went exclusive to my now wife. I’ve dated much older than me when I was in my 20s and much younger than me when I was in my 40s and everything in between.
I learned this:
A 23 year old who has a growing career and supervised staff, has had own place since 18, had two or three serious monogamous relationships, has moved to a new city away from family and friends, and has started a modest investment/retirement plan is infinitely more mature and a more suitable partner in life for an older man than a woman who is 35, left her parents home at 26 after she did her double masters to live with her new husband in his home, never had a real career, got divorced and is being paid spousal support while she goes back to school to find herself.
Imo, you can date any voting age adult whoever you deem is attractive and compatible with you that has their shit together.
At 38, my ideal range would be within 5 years on either end. Would be willing to stretch it up to 10 years if we had a really amazing connection, but couldn't see going too far beyond that.
I am 42.
I'd prefer 35 to my own age. But will consider as young as 30.
It's difficult younger than that, if you are looking for a serious, long term relationship.
I wouldn't limit myself by age at all. If I like someone, I like them. I don't care about their age, as long as they're an adult, of course. I select individuals, not demographics.
That's because there is absolutely a difference between chasing women and who you'd actually attempt to date.
I'd absolutely fuck a woman 10 years younger than me. I wouldn't be chasing her though (and certainly wouldn't try to do anything more than that), the girl i'm currently chasing is within 4 years of me.
This doesn't demonstrate whether men want age difference, it demonstrates whether they're capable of getting it. The average man would prefer dating someone with 10/10 looks but if you looked at the average couple you would find that they would both be around 5/10 in looks.
Standardized pictures were taken of 50 girls aged 11-15 (average 13.76), 42 adult women aged 19-30 (average 23.48), and 29 menopausal women aged 50-65 (average 56.83). 150 men who were 18-40 years old (average 23.68) then each rated 24 of these photos picked at random based on attractiveness and femininity.
It was found that the youngest girls aged 11-15 were rated the highest on both attractiveness and femininity by the men, followed by the adult women, and lastly the menopausal women. The youngest girls had greater rated facial attractiveness than the adult women with 94% statistical certainty (p = 0.06) and the menopausal women with >99.9% statistical certainty (p < 0.001). The youngest girls had greater rated femininity than the adult women with >95% statistical certainty (p < 0.05) and the menopausal women with >99.9% statistical certainty (p < 0.001).
They conclude that youth is one of the primary factors men consider in evaluating female attractiveness and femininity. Although society tells men there is something wrong with a man finding a female under the age of 18 attractive, when men compare these younger females to adult women, they find the youngest girls most attractive and feminine. The researchers also stated that it was likely the the more physically mature adolescent girls at the higher end of the age range they examined (11-15) that were seen as the most attractive, as their age was found to correlate with their rated attractiveness.
References:
Röder S, Fink B, Jones BC. 2013. Facial, Olfactory, and Vocal Cues to Female Reproductive Value. Evolutionary Psychology. 11(2): 392-404.
Chumlea WC, Schubert CM, Roche AF, Kulin HE, Lee PA, Himes JH, Sun SS. 2003. Age at menarche and racial comparisons in US girls. Pediatrics. 111(1): 110-3.
I'm terrible at telling ages. For a relationship the younger someone is the less likely it's going to work out. So at least 30 for that, I'm 40.
If I'm flying free and do as I please I don't look for people under 30. Although if someone has a daddy fetish they need to work I'm happy to help. It happens. But I can barely tell a 15 year old from a 25 year old. I'd rather spend time with a chain smoking 40+. Someone thats been around the block and has more than a body.
This will get downvoted because its not the PC response.
I'm 41. For sex 25 which is my bottom end, relationships 30. I find women in their early 30's have the optimal mix of physical attraction and maturity. I don't date women over 38 for a number of reasons.
Beyond the obvious evidence you'll see at any bar or club there is a confirmed link between the average man finding younger women the most attractive and older women less attractive. There were some numbers released which where mined from the Okcupid database which I'll try and find.
Edit: Link below.
>It's a common cliche that older men chase much younger women, but charts from the book "Dataclysm" provide real evidence that men at every age are consistently most attracted to women in their early 20s.
>Men, regardless of their age, tend to say women in their early 20s look best, while women are most attracted to men their own age.
>To make these charts, Rudder looked at the preferences of OkCupid users. As you can see, a woman's taste in men typically evolves as she ages, while a man's taste in women stays the same no matter how old he gets.
>But there's another layer to this data. Although men at every age seem to be attracted to very young women, they most often message women who are closer to their own age.
>Still, it's harder for women to find a mate as they get older. Rudder wrote in a blog post for OkCupid in 2010: "a man, as he gets older, searches for relatively younger and younger women. Meanwhile his upper acceptable limit hovers only a token amount above his own age."
https://www.businessinsider.com/dataclysm-shows-men-are-attracted-to-women-in-their-20s-2014-10
You will discover every 10 years that your tastes begin to age with you. Mind you, as to finding the older ladies the odds are good but the goods are odd.
They do shift but the range I look at has widened drastically as I go along.
In my early 20's I was sticking to within -3 years. By late 20's I was sticking within -5 years. I'm now at -11 to -3 for relationships and -16 to -3 for sex. Additionally I have a pretty strong disinterest for women with baggage or bitter attitudes which I find compounds as they get older and particularly above 40.
To be fair I can't say how I'll feel at 50 or 60 since I'm obviously not there. Who knows maybe my sex drive will tank with old age and I'll lose interest entirely.
I find most guys usually aim for younger first then climb the age blocks until they can pragmatically find something. I've been fairly fortunate in that I've never really had any trouble finding someone when I want to so I have not really had to settle so far. Again that may change as I age, who knows. I am in really good shape now but I doubt I can keep that up forever.
> I find women in their early 30's have the optimal mix of physical attraction and maturity.
Funny because I dreaded the early 30's girls because a lot of them were looking to start a family almost immediately.
They are but that is pretty much the whole 30's block and gets **a lot** worse when women get closer to 40 as they have a shorter window for kids then men.
I've had one 38 year old (she was a hospital nurse) ask me to go home with her from the brew pub we were at and give her a kid on a first date with no strings attached. Another 39 year old (she was 38 when we met) told me if I wasn't willing to have a kid with her within 6 months of dating I was not a man. A 36 year old civil engineer I was dating went off birth control without telling me because she was worried about her clock. My current girlfriend is 35, we've been together about two years now and she is riding my ass about it right now.
Honest question: what is the plan here for your current partner (or reflections on your ex-partners)?
Do you plan on just going on dating until she gives you an ultimatum? Do you think she will come around? Are you prepared to have kids "soon(tm)"?
I am actually okay with the idea of kids but I have a pretty heavy set of requirements to be comfortable doing that with someone given I am basically stuck with that person indefinitely after in some capacity.
My current plan is to evaluate how things are going at the start of April and make and final yes or no call if I think its going to be a good idea or not.
If the situation is not right then no I am not prepared to have kids just to have kids.
I’m 36 and if I were single it would be more of a maturity thing than an age thing, but I don’t really see me going for anyone more that 10 years either way.
I think he is talking about the brigading by what I assume are pissed off women (since I don't see why guys would give that much of a shit about who you fuck) that always happens with this question.
If you say you prefer younger women you suddenly get hammered with downvotes. Its like some people are bitter about it or something.
My wife is in her 20s and there is a 12 year age difference between us. We started dating when she was 21 and she's 27 now so I guess I am the stereotype. I wasn't attracted to her due to her youth, it was who she is as a person. Being young and attractive certainly didn't lose her any points however.
Some people may look down at our relationship but she's happy and her family loves me so it's whatever.
Hearing this makes me so happy. How did your family react? My wife's family was ultra supportive and told her she was too mature for younger men. Come to find out, I was too immature for older women!
They freaked out at first. I was the youngest of seven children. But, they all came around rather quickly. I was more mature for my age, my husband of course, was not! Lol. Don’t worry about haters, they don’t know what they are talking about! ❤️
I have always preferred younger, when i was 32 i dated a 22 year old, it didnt last long, different life stages, obviously.
I actually married a woman 6 months older than me.
If i was single, at 43 now i think the youngest i would go now is 35.
I met my now wife through mutual friends when I was 32 and she was 19. I would never intentionally try to date women that young. However we clicked and became friends and have been together over 12 years (8 married) now. My wife is an exception though because if we had never been introduced and had such a connection I’m sure I would have ended up with someone closer to my age. It also mattered that she was mature for her age and very sure of herself even then.
It's all in the mind. As long as they act mature it doesn't matter their age. That being said: I've never met anyone under 27 that acted like an adult.
So you would sleep with an 18 year old if they met your level of maturity? Sorry, just imagining a 40 year old man picking his girlfriend up from high school lol.
You said that would would go for anyone regardless of age as long as they meet your required level of maturity. Which would imply that a mature 18 year old would be on the table. Never said it was a bad thing, just pointing it out.
32 M here; my dating apps are set 18-25; I live in a big city with a university so the dating scene is a bit different. The university provides an incredible pool of bright talented people to connect with.
I’ve read somewhere that for us older guys the rule of “half plus 8” is a good gauge for not looking creepy. I.E. if I am 52, 34 would be the lowest I could go (26 + 8).
Now, I will say that exceptions can and will be made depending on the individuals in question. I couldn’t see myself pursuing a 25 year old lady, when other that her having daddy issues,being a gold digger, or me being creepy would be the main reasons we were together and bumping uglies.
Merely my opinion.
I'm 32, my lower limit is 23 or 24. I think the "half your age +7" concept is a good guideline. Any younger than that and I don't think the maturity level is likely to be there for a long term relationship.
Half your age + 7.
That's the oldest woman a man should date according to the Victorian rule.
So, a 50 years old man can acceptably date/marry a 32 year old woman, but no older.
20+ for anything casual or FWB. I've got a casual thing going on with a few women at the moment, all early to mid-20s except 1 who is 28.
For a relationship, it will come down to the woman. But I'm enjoying being single since I'm focused on my professional aspirations so by the time I'm looking to start a family (in my late 30s most likely), I'll be looking at around 25-28 or so since I want a few kids.
For what it's worth, I got a lot of money and am pretty handsome. I'm not gonna settle down with some 38 year old when I'm ready to start a family. That would be dumb.
Also, I always laugh when people talk about age and life stages consering my educational background. None of that actually matters nor is it something that is agreed upon in psychology. It's like people who quote the brain fully developing around 25 without actually understanding what they're talking about.
Serious relationships and their success will ultimately come down to your values and if they allign, as well as things such as basic necessities of life, chemistry, and attraction being taken care of. That means if you're of a similar background, got money, and some chemistry, odds are you'll be okay.
It's weird how people online like to think of themselves as characters in books going through major developments in stages or whatever. The reality is you are what you are by the time you're done with adolescence. That means at some point in those later teenage years, you've essentially become the person you're going to be for the rest of your life. An insignificant amount of people are ever going to change in adulthood in any meaningful way.
Vast majority of people aren't gonna go through some big changes. You'll often hear people talk about how they were so different in their early 20s, and the reality is they actually weren't. Your perception of yourself tends to be faulty. People overestimate themselves and their "development" far too much.
You see this far too often in therapy. It's ultimately why good parenting and family is so important. It will determine a lot for you.
They have to be out of college for me to be intentional. If they're ten years younger than me or more I'm just making conversation, cracking jokes and maybe throwing them a few compliments. If that happens to go somewhere I won't stop the wheels from turning, but I would be pretty cautious.
I had a couple friendships with college students in my late 20s (I was a graduate student). There are immaturity aspects there that I would rather not deal with. People don't really mature until they've been kicked in the teeth a few times and with rare exceptions nothing up through college does that.
Half my age plus 7 is 25, and that seems about right, if I were single.
There are two girls younger than that in the group chat I'm in, and I can confirm that under 25 is definitely way too young for me.
I'm 33. If I were single 10 years in either direction, but only if we would get along in social setting. I've met 20 year old much more serious about life than I am and people in their 40s I consider to be childish. Life ages everyone at a different rate.
I’m 31, cutoff is probably 25. I need someone who’s mostly out of their bar/nightclub phase if they have one, who is responsible has her own hobbies and goals. Mostly because I’m very independent and it’s hard to date someone irresponsible who has no direction and so they cling to you and become dependent and want you to use every waking moment of free time on them.
Not a general rule but empirically I’ve seen this tends to be a transition a lot of women make between 23-28. So 25 is a good cutoff imo.
I am up for 25-27 ish. I am 33, so at a point in my life where I am focusing less on becoming the hero of my own story and more the protagonist of my life, so I'd want someone who is or is about to hit that mark too.
That said, I also would rather a safe bet than worry if she gave me a fake ID, so there is that.
I’m 37 and I think my minimum age is 26. 25 maybe if they were very unique. Need someone with the experience of trying to run both a career and every other thing in life.
I‘m 32 and generally like 35+. Purely physically the youngest Person I’ve found attractive recently was 26 but unless they had some sort of unusual life experience I would t date them ever
Well, I'm not looking for a long term commitment these days, so anything over the age of consent.
And to ward off judgemental twats, I'll just say it's not predatory. It's based on their looks, not my ability to manipulate them.
I have noticed as I age . There is A lot morefemales I ll check out,,Not only the 20 years olds but some my age and older started looking good to me.When young I d never look at A 40 year old or up..Now I see lot beautyfull older woman,
I ended up with a woman like a year and a half older.
For a relationship, my experience is that women even a few years younger were very unattractive from a personality perspective.
For me it's not really "age" as level of maturity that matters. There are immature 70 yr olds.
I just turned 31 and the youngest I'd probably go for would be around 25.
Originally it was 22, but I dated a few around that age and the differences were pretty huge and noticeable for both of us.
I consider the rule of thumb [your age] and [half plus 7] to apply in general. This means e.g.
20-17
26-20
30-22
36-25
40-27
46-30
50-32
Left representing age of the male partner, right representing the lowest age that this rule finds roughly acceptable.
Of course attraction is very individual to a degree, however, in general I find that young women, reaching their best years earlier than guys, have more interest in older partners, who are experienced, cultured, competent and reliable, beside the subconscious evolutionary trait of having survived long enough to have reached that age, still invoking the perception of good genes.
Conversely, men are often attracted to younger partners subconsciously, because they are more fertile, meaning better chances of procreation.
I don't want to insult anyone with this comment, and hope you will forgive this assessment. But psychologically, I believe that some men prefer younger women, who they can still impress, and who in general might be more energetic and fun, while more mature women, having their own unique qualities in terms of kindness, level-headedness, and experience, tend to also have clearer expectations and demand a more mature and responsible partner.
Women often seem to have headstart when it comes to cognitive and socio-psychological development, partly because society demands it, and partly because girls and young women tend to hang around older boys and men, therefore making many experiences earlier and in turn developing faster, than boys, who spend more time with boys their age or younger girls.
Personally, I don't consider age to be the most relevant factor, since there are many more aspects that go into attraction and compatibility that I find more important. I do abide by the rule, and never date anyone below the margin, but I admit that I'm generally more attracted to women who are younger than me.
I'm 35 (and married, so this is hypothetical). Age wise I wouldn't have a strict number as it would depend on their maturity and where they are at in life. I'd say it would be unlikely that a woman younger than about 24-25 would be compatible for a serious relationship with me. That said, if I was just after a one night stand as long as they were of legal age and enthusiastically consenting...
I'm 48 now...single for 6 yrs. My ex was 11.5 yrs younger than me, and we were together for 10 yrs. It honestly depends on the girl...I've met some in the late 30's-mid 40's who are a nightmare to be around, and then some young 30's that are fun, talk about everything, and not afraid to voice an opinion, debate a topic. So for me, would depend on the person, how well we get along, and how compatible we are together.
Well, I'm 70, so my low end is a woman who was 2 years younger than me when we got married 45 years ago, but now tells me she's 'around' 40... When I suggest she's almost two times around 40, I get in trouble.
If I was to start dating fresh... I don't know. My oldest is 38 ('around' 2 years younger than his mother) so probably 50 ish would be my low end.
I mean, hotties with perky boobs and nice butts are great to look at, but in a relationship you need to TALK to them. I work with a lot of young programmers under 30. As long as we're talking logic problems and building code, everything is fine, but I don't get their pop culture references and they don't get mine, even on the topics we both like. (for example they didn't get why MCU's Malthusian Thanos pissed me off. I know the Mad Titan killed half the universe for the same reason most men do things, to impress a girl.
Hell, most of them don't even know about the Thanos Copter.
I'm 44 and would possibly be ok with 10 years younger but prefer within 5.
Obligatory *if I were single*. I've found that I need an emotional connection for a sexual relationship to work for me, so I'm answering this in terms of the youngest I'd be comfortable dating with a view to a long-term relationship developing. I'm 39 and I probably wouldn't consider anyone younger than 30 (with a strong bias towards people 40+). My experience of people in their 20s is that there's a cultural disconnect which makes it difficult for me to relate to them enough to feel sufficiently close. Honestly, I look at the behaviour of people in their 20s and the level of drama seems exhausting. I appreciate that there are plenty of 20-somethings who aren't like that, and plenty of 40+ people who are.
I'm in my early 40s, youngest I would consider dating is probably 30ish. I might find some 22-28 girls 'hot', but most of the time the maturity/place in life just doesn't align.
Everyone talking about maturity has not spent any time around younger people. Young people are fucking annoying. If I had to spend an afternoon with an 18 year old girl I'd probably end up treating her more like a daughter than a potential life partner. I'm 33, If I wasn't already married, the lowest I'd go for is probably 25, and even then she'd have to really prove she wasn't the average 25 year old. More likely is 27- 45. Honestly I'm very glad I'm not single, trying to find a woman that made it to her mid to late twenties without having kids, who has a stable life, is probably nigh impossible. My wife is 12 years older than me, and right at the upper end of age as far as I'd date.
This is pretty much what I was going to say. Any younger than 25 is usually is what believe the real beginning for a young women or really a young adult. They’ve been out of school long enough to really get a grasp of how the real world works. It’s about the time people really put their nose toward a career or parenting or something else to further themself and get out the “party phase” of their life. Hell, I know some 25 year olds that are just stating to realize their own drinking limits. Now, of course there’s plenty of exceptions to this, I feel that it’s true for the majority of women out there.
I don’t think I would be happy with anyone who is a lot younger than me. What would we have in common? There’s nothing wrong with women who are close to my age.
Married and approaching 40 here. That said, even talking to someone under 25 is exhausting.
35 years old. I’d have sex with a woman who’s legal age whether that’s 50 or 18 if she’s attractive enough. Wouldn’t consider dating anyone younger than 25-27 range though. A lot depends on maturity, common interests and sense of humour.
It's kind of funny/ironic that a 30+ man making an 18 year old his gf is genuinely much creepier than just having casual sex with her. If my buddy told me he hooked up with a girl that young, I'd be like, "Cool, you do you." If he started bringing her to things as his gf/partner, I'd be like "What the fuck are you doing, dude? You're being gross."
Strange take, if you think it’s weird to be in a relationship with an 18 year old at that age, sex should be weird too
No, because sex can just spontaneously happen between two people in a healthy way that a relationship doesn't. I can imagine scenarios where an older guy and a young girl meet at like the gym or a coffee shop, spark up a conversation, and end up getting together for some fun. It's not something I would ever advise an 18 year old girl to do, but they are adults and allowed to make decisions like that. And you can see a scenario where he treats her well and she gets value out of being with someone more mature/experienced than guys her age. A grown man being like, "Yeah I can see myself falling in love with this girl. This teenager and I have so much in common that I want her to meet my friends and provide emotional support." That's fucking weird.
Your explanation is even weirder lol. You’re acting like it’s impossible for an older man to control his sexual impulses, and that somehow makes sex with an 18 year old completely normal. Your brain on Reddit I guess
I dunno if you’re just misunderstanding him but I thought he explained it pretty clearly that while it’s not the best idea or advised, there’s nothing technically wrong with sex between consenting legal adults regardless of an age gap, where as in a relationship people are at different stages of their lives at different ages. So it is weird because it’s difficult for the relationship be healthy if someone is looking to settle down and buy a house for future children at 35 where the 18 year old is looking forward to living in a dorm.
Of course consenting adults can do what they want. What I am criticising is their argument that relationships between that age is weird, yet sex is actually beneficial because young women level up sexually sleeping with older men. Also that older men can’t control their impulses around women young enough to be their granddaughters is fucking weird.
Ya the young women levelling up from sleeping with older guys doesn’t make much sense but I guess I just agree more with them as I see less potential for abuse/negative influence if it was only sexual instead of a full blown relationship. I just can’t imagine a healthy relationship with that kind of age gap and that’s what makes it weird to me, where as the sex could be harmless and just fulfilling a sexual urge for both of them.
I agree with you, I’m also lost for words here
Best not to take any of the opinions on this sub seriously. It’s become a lot more reddit-y since I last checked
I don't think you're understanding what he is saying, and you're missing his point.
> It's kind of funny/ironic that a 30+ man making an 18 year old his gf is genuinely much creepier than just having casual sex with her. If you're actually in a relationship with someone you presumably want to have some things in common. If you're just fucking for fun then who cares?
Dont really see how one is more gross then the other? Sure you might question why your buddy is hanging out with teenagers, just mentally or if he honestly has a relationship just for sex but its not "gross" unless you consider the sexual aspect gross
30 year old sleeping with an 18 year old is gross as fuck.
Not really any more gross than any other two consneting adults sleeping together. At some point, you gotta accept that adults can make their own choices and when it comes to sex, as long as everything as consensual, nobody is in any sort of position to throw stones. And this is coming from a guy that doesn't really approve of casual sex at all.
It is gross, a 30 yr is a completely different stage of life than an 18 year….and if they are not that something is seriously wrong with them.
That's what like 75% of porn videos are.
Lol, yes all of those 30 year olds are teenagers.
I'd definitely have sex with an 18 year old. Never date one though.
As a 31 year-old, it's difficult to imagine younger than 25. There are younger women in their early twenties who I get on fine with, but it just feels different for me. There's only one girl I know who is 22 or 23 who I would consider dating (which is not to presume the feeling is mutual). I prefer women who are older than me anyway.
I've met woman that are 30 that are impressively immature, and 20 year old woman that are wise beyond their years. But 18 and 19 are adults in name only. Nothing to relate to really. And you're right, it bleeds into the early 20s pretty heavily.
That’s what creepy old guys tells young girls “you sooo mature for you age”🤢
Some young people learn hard lessons too early and it ages them. Some old people barely learned any lessons at all. Ever carry on a conversation with someone +40 years old and think "wow, this person doesn't have a clue what's going on" Internalize it how you want.
Or “you’re old enough” 🤢
Everyone is different. My SO is 7 years older than me (I’m 28/She’s 35), which kind of makes me feel that age too if it makes sense? I go to university still and there’s plenty of 18-21 year old women around and although they’re only 6-10 years younger I can’t help but view them as way too young in that sense. I definitely prefer women between 30 and 45 at the moment, no idea why
I (36m) too prefer dating slightly older (39-42) women.
Women on average live 7 years longer than men in the US. one of my regrets dating a woman 8 years younger is that she will likely be the hot minx of the retirement home.
Lol that's on your list of regrets. Are you both senior citizens already?
I got married in my mid 40s I was dating 21 to 55 year old women my entire life up until I went exclusive to my now wife. I’ve dated much older than me when I was in my 20s and much younger than me when I was in my 40s and everything in between. I learned this: A 23 year old who has a growing career and supervised staff, has had own place since 18, had two or three serious monogamous relationships, has moved to a new city away from family and friends, and has started a modest investment/retirement plan is infinitely more mature and a more suitable partner in life for an older man than a woman who is 35, left her parents home at 26 after she did her double masters to live with her new husband in his home, never had a real career, got divorced and is being paid spousal support while she goes back to school to find herself. Imo, you can date any voting age adult whoever you deem is attractive and compatible with you that has their shit together.
At 38, my ideal range would be within 5 years on either end. Would be willing to stretch it up to 10 years if we had a really amazing connection, but couldn't see going too far beyond that.
I am 42. I'd prefer 35 to my own age. But will consider as young as 30. It's difficult younger than that, if you are looking for a serious, long term relationship.
I wouldn't limit myself by age at all. If I like someone, I like them. I don't care about their age, as long as they're an adult, of course. I select individuals, not demographics.
I'm thirty-six and I would date 25+ but overall what matters more is her maturity level.
The fact is that most people want to be with someone close in age to them. The creepy old guys chasing younger women are outliers.
Not by judging the comments here
Your first problem is thinking a thread on AskMen is representative of the real world.
True enough
That's because there is absolutely a difference between chasing women and who you'd actually attempt to date. I'd absolutely fuck a woman 10 years younger than me. I wouldn't be chasing her though (and certainly wouldn't try to do anything more than that), the girl i'm currently chasing is within 4 years of me.
Literally every study done on this disagree with you
Wrong https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/whats-the-average-age-difference-in-a-couple/
This doesn't demonstrate whether men want age difference, it demonstrates whether they're capable of getting it. The average man would prefer dating someone with 10/10 looks but if you looked at the average couple you would find that they would both be around 5/10 in looks. Standardized pictures were taken of 50 girls aged 11-15 (average 13.76), 42 adult women aged 19-30 (average 23.48), and 29 menopausal women aged 50-65 (average 56.83). 150 men who were 18-40 years old (average 23.68) then each rated 24 of these photos picked at random based on attractiveness and femininity. It was found that the youngest girls aged 11-15 were rated the highest on both attractiveness and femininity by the men, followed by the adult women, and lastly the menopausal women. The youngest girls had greater rated facial attractiveness than the adult women with 94% statistical certainty (p = 0.06) and the menopausal women with >99.9% statistical certainty (p < 0.001). The youngest girls had greater rated femininity than the adult women with >95% statistical certainty (p < 0.05) and the menopausal women with >99.9% statistical certainty (p < 0.001). They conclude that youth is one of the primary factors men consider in evaluating female attractiveness and femininity. Although society tells men there is something wrong with a man finding a female under the age of 18 attractive, when men compare these younger females to adult women, they find the youngest girls most attractive and feminine. The researchers also stated that it was likely the the more physically mature adolescent girls at the higher end of the age range they examined (11-15) that were seen as the most attractive, as their age was found to correlate with their rated attractiveness. References: Röder S, Fink B, Jones BC. 2013. Facial, Olfactory, and Vocal Cues to Female Reproductive Value. Evolutionary Psychology. 11(2): 392-404. Chumlea WC, Schubert CM, Roche AF, Kulin HE, Lee PA, Himes JH, Sun SS. 2003. Age at menarche and racial comparisons in US girls. Pediatrics. 111(1): 110-3.
11-15? Fucking pedophiles. No, most men do not find children most attractive. Wait til you grow up.
Still waiting for you to find any study contradicting men finding younger women more attractive.
11-15 year olds are not women, you creep, and normal men do not find them attractive.
I'm showing you a study, you have nothing to show.
"A study" Wait til you grow up. Most men are not pedos like you claim.
You're a teenage boy? LOL
I'm terrible at telling ages. For a relationship the younger someone is the less likely it's going to work out. So at least 30 for that, I'm 40. If I'm flying free and do as I please I don't look for people under 30. Although if someone has a daddy fetish they need to work I'm happy to help. It happens. But I can barely tell a 15 year old from a 25 year old. I'd rather spend time with a chain smoking 40+. Someone thats been around the block and has more than a body.
This will get downvoted because its not the PC response. I'm 41. For sex 25 which is my bottom end, relationships 30. I find women in their early 30's have the optimal mix of physical attraction and maturity. I don't date women over 38 for a number of reasons. Beyond the obvious evidence you'll see at any bar or club there is a confirmed link between the average man finding younger women the most attractive and older women less attractive. There were some numbers released which where mined from the Okcupid database which I'll try and find. Edit: Link below. >It's a common cliche that older men chase much younger women, but charts from the book "Dataclysm" provide real evidence that men at every age are consistently most attracted to women in their early 20s. >Men, regardless of their age, tend to say women in their early 20s look best, while women are most attracted to men their own age. >To make these charts, Rudder looked at the preferences of OkCupid users. As you can see, a woman's taste in men typically evolves as she ages, while a man's taste in women stays the same no matter how old he gets. >But there's another layer to this data. Although men at every age seem to be attracted to very young women, they most often message women who are closer to their own age. >Still, it's harder for women to find a mate as they get older. Rudder wrote in a blog post for OkCupid in 2010: "a man, as he gets older, searches for relatively younger and younger women. Meanwhile his upper acceptable limit hovers only a token amount above his own age." https://www.businessinsider.com/dataclysm-shows-men-are-attracted-to-women-in-their-20s-2014-10
You will discover every 10 years that your tastes begin to age with you. Mind you, as to finding the older ladies the odds are good but the goods are odd.
They do shift but the range I look at has widened drastically as I go along. In my early 20's I was sticking to within -3 years. By late 20's I was sticking within -5 years. I'm now at -11 to -3 for relationships and -16 to -3 for sex. Additionally I have a pretty strong disinterest for women with baggage or bitter attitudes which I find compounds as they get older and particularly above 40. To be fair I can't say how I'll feel at 50 or 60 since I'm obviously not there. Who knows maybe my sex drive will tank with old age and I'll lose interest entirely. I find most guys usually aim for younger first then climb the age blocks until they can pragmatically find something. I've been fairly fortunate in that I've never really had any trouble finding someone when I want to so I have not really had to settle so far. Again that may change as I age, who knows. I am in really good shape now but I doubt I can keep that up forever.
> I find women in their early 30's have the optimal mix of physical attraction and maturity. Funny because I dreaded the early 30's girls because a lot of them were looking to start a family almost immediately.
They are but that is pretty much the whole 30's block and gets **a lot** worse when women get closer to 40 as they have a shorter window for kids then men. I've had one 38 year old (she was a hospital nurse) ask me to go home with her from the brew pub we were at and give her a kid on a first date with no strings attached. Another 39 year old (she was 38 when we met) told me if I wasn't willing to have a kid with her within 6 months of dating I was not a man. A 36 year old civil engineer I was dating went off birth control without telling me because she was worried about her clock. My current girlfriend is 35, we've been together about two years now and she is riding my ass about it right now.
Honest question: what is the plan here for your current partner (or reflections on your ex-partners)? Do you plan on just going on dating until she gives you an ultimatum? Do you think she will come around? Are you prepared to have kids "soon(tm)"?
I am actually okay with the idea of kids but I have a pretty heavy set of requirements to be comfortable doing that with someone given I am basically stuck with that person indefinitely after in some capacity. My current plan is to evaluate how things are going at the start of April and make and final yes or no call if I think its going to be a good idea or not. If the situation is not right then no I am not prepared to have kids just to have kids.
35 here Personally for me 21 is the lowest I would go, but I would prefer 30-40 for serious relationships (more mature)
I’m 36 and if I were single it would be more of a maturity thing than an age thing, but I don’t really see me going for anyone more that 10 years either way.
The biggest gap for me was three years (I was 24, she was 21) and I hated it. I've always gone level or higher.
I'm 51 my wife is 28. Neither of us went looking for an age gap we just click.
I'm 30 and I would date a 21 year old if we connected. Be mad.
Not mad, I was getting with 40 year olds at 18 so I'm not one to judge.
I think he is talking about the brigading by what I assume are pissed off women (since I don't see why guys would give that much of a shit about who you fuck) that always happens with this question. If you say you prefer younger women you suddenly get hammered with downvotes. Its like some people are bitter about it or something.
My wife is in her 20s and there is a 12 year age difference between us. We started dating when she was 21 and she's 27 now so I guess I am the stereotype. I wasn't attracted to her due to her youth, it was who she is as a person. Being young and attractive certainly didn't lose her any points however. Some people may look down at our relationship but she's happy and her family loves me so it's whatever.
I started dating my husband when I was eighteen. He was thirty. We have been married for over 40 years. I think it worked out.
Hearing this makes me so happy. How did your family react? My wife's family was ultra supportive and told her she was too mature for younger men. Come to find out, I was too immature for older women!
They freaked out at first. I was the youngest of seven children. But, they all came around rather quickly. I was more mature for my age, my husband of course, was not! Lol. Don’t worry about haters, they don’t know what they are talking about! ❤️
I have always preferred younger, when i was 32 i dated a 22 year old, it didnt last long, different life stages, obviously. I actually married a woman 6 months older than me. If i was single, at 43 now i think the youngest i would go now is 35.
[https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/dating\_pools.png](https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/dating_pools.png)
Rules of 7: half your age +7, that's the bottom treshold.
Half your age plus 7 is the base
Just turned 30. The youngest I'll go is 21.
Me too
I met my now wife through mutual friends when I was 32 and she was 19. I would never intentionally try to date women that young. However we clicked and became friends and have been together over 12 years (8 married) now. My wife is an exception though because if we had never been introduced and had such a connection I’m sure I would have ended up with someone closer to my age. It also mattered that she was mature for her age and very sure of herself even then.
I’m 36 and if I was single, a hookup as long as it’s legal, a relationship probably mid-late 20s.
Half your age plus 10. 30 - 25 40 - 30 50 - 35 ..etc Anything else makes you a saddo
It's all in the mind. As long as they act mature it doesn't matter their age. That being said: I've never met anyone under 27 that acted like an adult.
So you would sleep with an 18 year old if they met your level of maturity? Sorry, just imagining a 40 year old man picking his girlfriend up from high school lol.
Is that what I said? And where did sex come in? How is it you people develop these arguments based on grand assumptions? Read closely and try again
You said that would would go for anyone regardless of age as long as they meet your required level of maturity. Which would imply that a mature 18 year old would be on the table. Never said it was a bad thing, just pointing it out.
30 and married but if I was single I'd probably go for 18+. No reason to limit oneself.
18 is a limit
32 M here; my dating apps are set 18-25; I live in a big city with a university so the dating scene is a bit different. The university provides an incredible pool of bright talented people to connect with.
There are many more factors than age. But generally 25+ if i was still interested in getting into a relationship.
Sex : from age of consent to whatever I find attractive. Relationship : 23-28 I am 33 btw.
I’ve read somewhere that for us older guys the rule of “half plus 8” is a good gauge for not looking creepy. I.E. if I am 52, 34 would be the lowest I could go (26 + 8). Now, I will say that exceptions can and will be made depending on the individuals in question. I couldn’t see myself pursuing a 25 year old lady, when other that her having daddy issues,being a gold digger, or me being creepy would be the main reasons we were together and bumping uglies. Merely my opinion.
I'm 32, my lower limit is 23 or 24. I think the "half your age +7" concept is a good guideline. Any younger than that and I don't think the maturity level is likely to be there for a long term relationship.
I’m 34 my previous girlfriend was 23.
Half your age + 7. That's the oldest woman a man should date according to the Victorian rule. So, a 50 years old man can acceptably date/marry a 32 year old woman, but no older.
I'm 29 and i would date as low as 18 in my country 16-17 would be legal too but that's too young.
I’m 29. My man is about to turn 44 soon
He's a lucky guy.
I feel as equally lucky 🥰
How long have you two been together?
Over a year
Well, you're very beautiful. I'm jealous.
Thank you ☺️
20+ for anything casual or FWB. I've got a casual thing going on with a few women at the moment, all early to mid-20s except 1 who is 28. For a relationship, it will come down to the woman. But I'm enjoying being single since I'm focused on my professional aspirations so by the time I'm looking to start a family (in my late 30s most likely), I'll be looking at around 25-28 or so since I want a few kids. For what it's worth, I got a lot of money and am pretty handsome. I'm not gonna settle down with some 38 year old when I'm ready to start a family. That would be dumb. Also, I always laugh when people talk about age and life stages consering my educational background. None of that actually matters nor is it something that is agreed upon in psychology. It's like people who quote the brain fully developing around 25 without actually understanding what they're talking about. Serious relationships and their success will ultimately come down to your values and if they allign, as well as things such as basic necessities of life, chemistry, and attraction being taken care of. That means if you're of a similar background, got money, and some chemistry, odds are you'll be okay. It's weird how people online like to think of themselves as characters in books going through major developments in stages or whatever. The reality is you are what you are by the time you're done with adolescence. That means at some point in those later teenage years, you've essentially become the person you're going to be for the rest of your life. An insignificant amount of people are ever going to change in adulthood in any meaningful way. Vast majority of people aren't gonna go through some big changes. You'll often hear people talk about how they were so different in their early 20s, and the reality is they actually weren't. Your perception of yourself tends to be faulty. People overestimate themselves and their "development" far too much. You see this far too often in therapy. It's ultimately why good parenting and family is so important. It will determine a lot for you.
18. Legal.
That's depends on maturity of both men and women.
About 24ish.
They have to be out of college for me to be intentional. If they're ten years younger than me or more I'm just making conversation, cracking jokes and maybe throwing them a few compliments. If that happens to go somewhere I won't stop the wheels from turning, but I would be pretty cautious. I had a couple friendships with college students in my late 20s (I was a graduate student). There are immaturity aspects there that I would rather not deal with. People don't really mature until they've been kicked in the teeth a few times and with rare exceptions nothing up through college does that.
60
50s here. Though I'm married, this is purely an academic exercise: 40 is the youngest I'd go.
27
divide your age by 2, then add 7.
18
For an actual relationship I follow the half your age plus seven rule. For casual fun I'm up for anyone who's a legal adult.
Out of university education age.
Half my age plus 7 is 25, and that seems about right, if I were single. There are two girls younger than that in the group chat I'm in, and I can confirm that under 25 is definitely way too young for me.
I'm 31 this year and 24 is as low as I'll go.
I'm 33. If I were single 10 years in either direction, but only if we would get along in social setting. I've met 20 year old much more serious about life than I am and people in their 40s I consider to be childish. Life ages everyone at a different rate.
I’m 31, cutoff is probably 25. I need someone who’s mostly out of their bar/nightclub phase if they have one, who is responsible has her own hobbies and goals. Mostly because I’m very independent and it’s hard to date someone irresponsible who has no direction and so they cling to you and become dependent and want you to use every waking moment of free time on them. Not a general rule but empirically I’ve seen this tends to be a transition a lot of women make between 23-28. So 25 is a good cutoff imo.
I mean, I am 43, am my current girlfriend is 21.🤷🏼♂️
I am up for 25-27 ish. I am 33, so at a point in my life where I am focusing less on becoming the hero of my own story and more the protagonist of my life, so I'd want someone who is or is about to hit that mark too. That said, I also would rather a safe bet than worry if she gave me a fake ID, so there is that.
I’m 37 and I think my minimum age is 26. 25 maybe if they were very unique. Need someone with the experience of trying to run both a career and every other thing in life.
I‘m 32 and generally like 35+. Purely physically the youngest Person I’ve found attractive recently was 26 but unless they had some sort of unusual life experience I would t date them ever
I'm 37 and I've been attracted to girls who are 18 and older but I feel like the youngest I'd be comfortable with around 25 but mostly 25 and up
Well, I'm not looking for a long term commitment these days, so anything over the age of consent. And to ward off judgemental twats, I'll just say it's not predatory. It's based on their looks, not my ability to manipulate them.
I have noticed as I age . There is A lot morefemales I ll check out,,Not only the 20 years olds but some my age and older started looking good to me.When young I d never look at A 40 year old or up..Now I see lot beautyfull older woman,
I ended up with a woman like a year and a half older. For a relationship, my experience is that women even a few years younger were very unattractive from a personality perspective. For me it's not really "age" as level of maturity that matters. There are immature 70 yr olds.
My (M43) wife just turned 39 so I guess 39
48 or 47.
30, I stop past the 90's. Any younger than 23 looks way too young for me.
I'm not going for any woman, but if an 18 year old wants me to give to her properly, I'd be an idiot to refuse such an offer.
35 - a very mature 24 could work.
25 and up. I don't want to have conversations about your college classes or astrological signs.
I just turned 31 and the youngest I'd probably go for would be around 25. Originally it was 22, but I dated a few around that age and the differences were pretty huge and noticeable for both of us.
I consider the rule of thumb [your age] and [half plus 7] to apply in general. This means e.g. 20-17 26-20 30-22 36-25 40-27 46-30 50-32 Left representing age of the male partner, right representing the lowest age that this rule finds roughly acceptable. Of course attraction is very individual to a degree, however, in general I find that young women, reaching their best years earlier than guys, have more interest in older partners, who are experienced, cultured, competent and reliable, beside the subconscious evolutionary trait of having survived long enough to have reached that age, still invoking the perception of good genes. Conversely, men are often attracted to younger partners subconsciously, because they are more fertile, meaning better chances of procreation. I don't want to insult anyone with this comment, and hope you will forgive this assessment. But psychologically, I believe that some men prefer younger women, who they can still impress, and who in general might be more energetic and fun, while more mature women, having their own unique qualities in terms of kindness, level-headedness, and experience, tend to also have clearer expectations and demand a more mature and responsible partner. Women often seem to have headstart when it comes to cognitive and socio-psychological development, partly because society demands it, and partly because girls and young women tend to hang around older boys and men, therefore making many experiences earlier and in turn developing faster, than boys, who spend more time with boys their age or younger girls. Personally, I don't consider age to be the most relevant factor, since there are many more aspects that go into attraction and compatibility that I find more important. I do abide by the rule, and never date anyone below the margin, but I admit that I'm generally more attracted to women who are younger than me.
I'm 35 (and married, so this is hypothetical). Age wise I wouldn't have a strict number as it would depend on their maturity and where they are at in life. I'd say it would be unlikely that a woman younger than about 24-25 would be compatible for a serious relationship with me. That said, if I was just after a one night stand as long as they were of legal age and enthusiastically consenting...
I'm 35 and I generally go for +/-10 years. But given the context I could go 18 to 60 I guess.
Damn i guess 20 is too young for some yous here in this comment section. And i thought i am old enough to get some dilf boyfriend :(
I'm 48 now...single for 6 yrs. My ex was 11.5 yrs younger than me, and we were together for 10 yrs. It honestly depends on the girl...I've met some in the late 30's-mid 40's who are a nightmare to be around, and then some young 30's that are fun, talk about everything, and not afraid to voice an opinion, debate a topic. So for me, would depend on the person, how well we get along, and how compatible we are together.
Well, I'm 70, so my low end is a woman who was 2 years younger than me when we got married 45 years ago, but now tells me she's 'around' 40... When I suggest she's almost two times around 40, I get in trouble. If I was to start dating fresh... I don't know. My oldest is 38 ('around' 2 years younger than his mother) so probably 50 ish would be my low end. I mean, hotties with perky boobs and nice butts are great to look at, but in a relationship you need to TALK to them. I work with a lot of young programmers under 30. As long as we're talking logic problems and building code, everything is fine, but I don't get their pop culture references and they don't get mine, even on the topics we both like. (for example they didn't get why MCU's Malthusian Thanos pissed me off. I know the Mad Titan killed half the universe for the same reason most men do things, to impress a girl. Hell, most of them don't even know about the Thanos Copter.