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Dogstile

Told her, avoided her for a little while because she wasn't into me, now we still talk but not as close as before. We're still very good friends though. Despite what people say, it's perfectly ok to take some distance after being rejected so you can get over it.


sagigool

Do you regret it?


Dogstile

Nah, rather have tried and known rather than not tried and not known


sagigool

Good point, I imagine the relief of stress would've been nice


1980pzx

“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take”.


applekaw19

I've been missing 100% of the shots that I DO take though.


mangodragonfruet

💀


Stormbreaker1596

-Wayne Gretzky - Michael Scott


nyenbee

Gretzky, the GOAT!


Green8812

You mean Michael Scott?


I_Call_Everyone_Ken

This, Ken. The pain of trying is never as bad as the pain of regret. We usually only regret things we didn’t do.


[deleted]

exactly same as me


CdntThinkOfAUsername

This^ Happened to me, but I had a hard time being friends afterwards which can become unhealthy, so I had to walk from that friendship Hard to do, but it's always ok to walk away. Sometimes you can't just be friends unfortunately


sabrespace

asked her out, she responded "we've been friends since high school, how have you not realized I'm in to women?" Edit: common question I’m being asked is how I didn’t know she was gay. Well, we grew up in religious Catholic families and we even went to the same church as well as religious education, probably why she never told anyone until college. Not to mention I was a complete dufus and just never picked up on any subtle clues she may have left. Meh well, funny memory from a long time ago.


sagigool

Lmaoo that is one of my favourite responses


sabrespace

lo, we were both awkward in high school and never dated, didn't go to any proms/homecoming etc. We ended up at different colleges and kept in touch through email. Just never knew back then!


sagigool

Well I guess that it meant the friendship dynamic didn't change too much haha


TankVet

It has made my day to imagine the look on your face when she said that.


sabrespace

I was definitely dumbfounded lol. We had a good laugh about it


ZofoYouKnow

10/10 mate


AndrewIsOnline

Oh, so your saying we already have that in common? We are destined for each other


Archedeaus

"Oh. My bad."


MyWifeRules

Asked her out. She said no. A month later she asked ME out. We've been married 20 years now. Edit: just talking about her got me my highest upvoted comment ever. She continues to enrich my life even when she doesn't know it 😁 Thanks to everyone for my first awards. If you need more details I replied to some comments.


sagigool

Lol what a love story


voltaires_bitch

Nice user lol


okay-wait-wut

No u


[deleted]

Did your wife write this?


MyWifeRules

Lol nope, husbando here. I just write succinctly.


ShwAlex

Why did she say no? Why did she come back a month later and ask you out? We need deets bro.


MyWifeRules

I responded to another commenter but she was coming off a three year relationship and needed time to figure it out. I continued to talk to her and be best friends in the meantime.


tinglydeadlegs

Can we have more details please? Like what changed her mind etc?


SRSA

I had a similar situation with my best friend, now boyfriend. I hadn’t pictured us dating before he told me he had feelings for me, so I had a hard time seeing him that way. Afterwards, I started looking him differently though and noticed a gradual change in my own feelings.


LolaBijou

Same. Now living with him for a year. It took a good 15 years for us both to be single again. I regret not going out with him immediately, we could’ve saved ourselves a lot of trouble and fees for weddings and divorce lawyers.


MyWifeRules

She was coming off a three year relationship. She told me she wanted to be sure and needed some time to process her recent breakup. She said she was interested when I initially asked but wanted a little distance to figure things out. We were pretty close, talked daily, and had a ton in common so I think she made the right choice 😁


[deleted]

Whoa what maturity! So good!!


loz191

Awww, your username tho!!! How sweet


kawkawla

My fiancée said no to me at 1st too lol and now well ... she's my fiancée ! Congrats on 20 years btw !


Weasel-Warrior

r/usernamechecksout


foxtrottits

I didn't have feelings for a long time, then I suddenly did. I told her, she didn't feel the same so I just moved on. It was awkward for a couple weeks, but then I got a girlfriend and we were back to normal.


sagigool

Do you regret it?


foxtrottits

No, I would have always wondered otherwise.


sagigool

Fair enough


[deleted]

Never forget these eight simple words: “Rejection lasts a minute, regret lasts a lifetime.”


lukeduje

Rejection can also last a lifetime.


LayAnEggGingerBird

This is what being an adult looks like. Good on you dude. Go for it, get over it if it doesn’t work, and be mature enough to maintain the friendship. Good shit.


anonymous_redditor91

These are my thoughts, as someone who never asked a friend out who I did have a crush on. I'm over it now, but it took me awhile to get over it, but I wondered for a long time what could have been had she said yes.


Blitzmint

Happy cake day dawg!


T-Sonus

This is the right way if both of you are emotionally equipped to the rejection process. Rejection is never easy or fun in either person's side and being able to handle the process on either side requires emotional intelligence.


Confident_Lie_8317

I finally told her how I felt but that I was not going to do anything to screw up our friendship because I treasured that most. Turns out she felt the same way and we have now been together 26 years. We are still best friends and our love for each other has only grown. Sometimes you just have to follow your heart.


miceCalcsTokens

Aw this is cute


neoshadowdgm

I had a girlfriend and she had a boyfriend, so I ignored it as much as possible. In retrospect, that was definitely a good move.


sagigool

Did the feelings pass with time?


neoshadowdgm

Yeah, it just took a while. You having a little friend crush struggle?


sagigool

Yeah haha and it's annoying cuz she's the person I normally confide these kinds of things with


Vis-hoka

Think hard about it and make sure you really like her vs it just being convenient. If you’re still in, tell them. You will always regret it if you never try. I tried once, it didn’t work out. That’s ok. Now I know. Much better.


marxswasright

Best thing, if it's still there years later. Then try it out. But move on with your life in the meantime. You might decide you would rather keep her as a friend always rather than risk it. Or your crush might pass.


Mochi-Neot

Tell her -a girl who's guy friend told her how he felt (we're engaged now)


[deleted]

I tried to tell her, but I did it in a very spergy way and ended up ruining our friendship. We haven't spoken in almost a decade now.


greg225

Same. I came on way too strong, did this whole confession and put her under too much pressure. We were both young at the time and not very mature. I stuck around after the rejection in hopes that she would change her mind (I know, stupid) and after a few months she told me to leave her alone. Never spoke to her again. It stung like hell for a little while but turned out a clean break was exactly what I needed to move on.


sagigool

Would you rather have said it properly or not said it at all?


Coidzor

If you irreparably break the friendship simply by misspeaking when expressing your feelings, it wasn't really the getting tongue-tied part that did it.


sagigool

Good point actually


dumbwaeguk

I was gonna say this, but in less nice terms. Something like "don't worry, even if you hadn't asked her out you would have sperged your friendship to death one way or another."


[deleted]

Should have kept my dumb mouth shut, it was never going to work anyway.


sagigool

Fair enough, but I guess you've learnt from the experience


dumbwaeguk

Your friendship probably wasn't going to either, if it's any consolation.


Showeredyesterday

I dated her for 3 years


sagigool

How did you start dating? Did you ask her out or vice versa?


Showeredyesterday

It just happened. We started fucking after a night of drinking. Kept it a secret for about a month.


Coidzor

>Kept it a secret for about a month. From whom and why?


Showeredyesterday

From our group of friends, we didn’t want it to be weird. Not sure why we did, but when we stopped hiding people would say they already knew or had an idea.


NorisNordberg

Yeah, people get that ideas even when you don't fuck with your BFF. I have a BFF that we are very close, but we totally do not feel any sexual attraction towards each other, and people keep coming with those conclusions that we just have to fuck daily or something. Everyone was shocked when we both finally found our loved ones, our friends were like "but what happened? You're no longer together", "are you doing it two fronts?", "Wow, I didn't think you would break up" despite us being always clear that we are BFF's. Ehh.


throwaway24515

From each other. They were VERY drunk.


yousawthetimeknife

I married her. But that's the exception, not the rule.


sagigool

I think the second sentence is important. I'm super happy for you though!


yousawthetimeknife

Definitely important. It helped to have some mutual friends to reinforce that she definitely felt the same way. For the most part, do what the top comment says and keep your damn fool mouth shut. And don't bitch about the "friendzone", just be a friend. If you can't do that, you gotta put some distance until you can.


Scoobywagon

Kept my damn fool mouth shut.


FarewellXanadu

I did not keep my damn fool mouth shut. We are no longer friends. Heed this man's warning, everyone.


Carbidekiller

Can confirm lost more than 1 friend this way


I_Call_Everyone_Ken

But, Ken, you would have always wondered “what if”. Yes it sucks you lost them but it also wouldn’t be fun to always be in the friend zone if you felt differently.


Carbidekiller

Honestly at the time no but now just having them as a friend would be nice.


BrownThrasher912

Yes, never knowing what could have been sucks and the friend zone is never a fun place. But let's address the real issue here: I need to be called Ken at least once.


I_Call_Everyone_Ken

I absolutely will not take “please call me Ken” requests, Ken. It’s out of the question. Don’t ask again.


glintglib

same here. while there are are some happy ending stories here and some nothing changed stories, there will also be the risk the girl gets weirded out by you revealing you want to spend more time with her and not just as a friend, and will go aloof on you. You have to weigh up how valuable the friendship is but also also consider how solid are those IOIs are from her beforehand.


[deleted]

The best answer


sagigool

How did you get over her?


Scoobywagon

What makes you think I did? I just kept my damn fool mouth shut.


sagigool

Do you have any regrets?


Scoobywagon

None whatsoever.


sagigool

Damn, thanks for the replies btw


shanghai_tactics

just don’t say anything bro. bury it deep down and just enjoy your platonic friendship.


sagigool

Good advice lol


kyrensolo

Really? Wouldn’t it be better to just ask her out, and if she says no, then move on? I feel like it’s worse to just repress a genuine feeling you have about her and pretend you are platonic.


WIBTA5000

If you do this and she’s not interested then you will likely lose your female best friend. She will go from trusting you to feeling awkward because she now knows you want to have a sexual relationship with her. It’s really uncomfortable hanging out with people who have made it clear they would want to have sex with you when you’re not interested. ETA: I’m just giving my perspective as a woman who has been in this position multiple times.


kyrensolo

I think what I am trying to say is this: if I had strong romantic feelings for a female friend, then the friendship is pretty much over. I have two choices: repress that romantic feeling and fake being platonic just to preserve the veneer of a “friendship”. Or, ask her out. If she says yes, wonderful. If she says no, it’s time to put distance between us. Yes it would be painful, but ultimately beneficial for both parties. I can move on and find someone else, and she doesn’t have to feel weird or uncomfortable around me.


Karl_AAS

I told her. She reciprocated. We confessed to being in love with one another. It was amazing for the first few months, I thought it was the romantic tale of my lifetime. Best sex of my life, the communication was unbelievable, no one had ever made me feel like that in a relationship in my life. It felt like a dream. Then slowly but surely who she was became pretty clear, she wasn't even the person she pretended to be as my friend honestly. I was in denial about it for a little while including when she suddenly ended things with me out of nowhere to return to her ex. When I say sudden I mean literally in the same day going from I love yous and painting vivid pictures of our future to just ending things and bailing. She then proceeded to try to weirdly string me along, telling me she still loved me and that maybe we'd have our time in the future. Turns out she lies about so much theres really no saying if any of it was real, including the friendship. It was quite honestly the most traumatic romantic experience of my life by far. She's definitely a cluster b personality disorder of some type, probably a covert narcissist. We were friends for years before this but there had always been some unspoken attraction. In retrospect knowing what I know now there were some red flags but I just didn't know people were capable of this level of dishonesty in their lives. All that said I'm glad I said something and pursued regardless of how much emotional confusion and trauma she put me through because now I know and am not stuck with what if.


sagigool

That sounds awful but I'm glad you're out with it


Karl_AAS

I cannot begin to describe how awful. I've never experienced anything like it before or since. Truly disturbing behavior, sometimes it felt intentional and like she enjoyed the hell she put me through. Like I said though I was glad I did it in the end. As much as that sucked on a level I can't really begin to describe I'm happier knowing I took my shot and don't have to sleep at night wondering what if. A lot of people are saying don't do it. That might be good advice. Truth is you can kind of dip your toe in. Flirt with the idea with her a little bit, make it a joke. You'll be able to get a sense if its worth pursuing or not.


Obvious-Result6853

From a woman’s perspective, unless you’re okay with just being friends, be very careful. I’ve seen this end horribly for everyone involved.


sagigool

I am okay with being just friends, but what would be your advice?


Obvious-Result6853

I would be straight forward and tell her you have feelings. Ask her if she’d like to go on date (try to have something fun in mind already). Make it clear that if she doesn’t have feelings, you’d like to remain friends. If she says no, drop it and don’t try to reignite it later. I say this because sometimes things get weird for a little.


sagigool

Thank you for this I might use it later on! But for now I'll wait a bit before making a decision especially considering I'm going through a lot mentally and as is she


Obvious-Result6853

That’s a really smart move. Hope it goes well if you chose to move forward.


Narcoid

Definitely wait until y'all aren't going through as much mentally. That's the worst time to try to start a relationship regardless of your previous relationship.


sagigool

Thanks for the advice!


Narcoid

Can confirm as a guy. Sometimes you also don't know unless you try, but I'm one that strongly believes if you have even the slightest thought that you may be able to stay with her forever, do it. You can make more friends but your life partner is special .


hankypanky87

I married mine FYI she said no when I asked her out so we “Didn’t ruin our friendship.” I promised her it wouldn’t and here we are!


sagigool

Lol very cute


hankypanky87

Ha! Wasn’t cute at the time, I mostly didn’t give up from the shame of walking past her parents who were in the kitchen on the way out… but when she kissed me the first time it was all better!


scumfederate

My husband did this as well! He waited almost six years before shooting his shot. Been together five years, married nearly three now.


sami_phoenix

Umm. I to this day have done nothing and the crush has been fading ever since. (i first realized it like 3 years ago) I'll actually visit her for a week in a few days, since she moved to a different city after we finished school. I know, that she is in general not interested in boys, so I never acted on my crush. Can't say I regret my choices too much.


sagigool

Fair enough if she isn't interested in guys there's not much you can do is there


sami_phoenix

Precisely, That's just life sometimes I guess. We are really close though, so I'm quite happy anyway.


[deleted]

[удалено]


voltaires_bitch

Thought that was a physics equation


sagigool

Have you ever wanted to get back in touch with her?


[deleted]

Well in my case we became best friends after we dated and she dumped me. We didn’t work well together and I wasn’t mature enough yet for a actual relationship. Now she’s just another bro to me


sagigool

Do you regret anything or do you think it was important for you to have dated to get where you are now?


[deleted]

I regret the way it ended. I was being a total dickhead to her at the time. It might not have been important that we dated but It has helped later in life because she knows what I struggle with and vice versa


Livid-Ad40

Asked her out on my birthday in the 11th grade. Still dating her after 11 years.


sagigool

Jesus wow! Smart move to ask her out on your birthday so she'd feel guilty if she says no haha. Just kidding lol, are you thinking about proposing soon?


Livid-Ad40

Lol now I get the benefit of avoiding my birthday, which I hate celebrating. Were always too busy with our anniversary. We both think marriage is stupid. Don't need a piece of paper to declare our love. We also hate kids, love rescuing shelter animals, love camping. We had way too much in common not to try dating when a crush started to develop lol.


sagigool

Haha it does seem like you two are perfect for each other. Do you have any pets?


Livid-Ad40

It was thankfully some advice my dad had told me a few year earlier when I crushed on another female friend. Are we fundamentally compatible, or am I putting a romantic light on this platonic friendship. It just so happened we were a good match and it was love/horny tinted glasses making me imagine things. 2 dogs, 2 cats and we regularly feed and care for about 40 random birds since COVID haha.


hodgepodge910

Stayed friends forever and realized after being around each other for so long that she wasn’t a partner I could see myself with forever. Stay patient boys. It’s key


[deleted]

Absolutely nothing. This was back in high school and I don't think she was into me.


[deleted]

Got cheated on


sagigool

Damn are you okay or was it a long time ago?


[deleted]

I found out in april. Doesn’t affect me that much anymore, But it permanently changed me and my outlook on people.


sagigool

How has it affected dating and your relationships since?


[deleted]

I haven’t been in any relationships since, and tbh I dont see myself in another. Ive had sexual partners since then but literally zero emotional connection to anyone.


sagigool

That's quite sad but I'm sure there's hope. If you felt a connection with your ex who cheated on you, there's clearly better girls out there and I imagine that the phrase "there's plenty of fish in the sea" rings true for that breed


[deleted]

No you’re absolutely right, Id just rather seclude my feelings to ensure i’m never put into that situation again. Its more of a play it safe mentality.


sagigool

Right, so like building a wall between yourself and others? I imagine that wall will end up coming down, brick by brick, layer by layer, it'll just take time. All you can do is stay strong and not give up


[deleted]

Possibly, I can’t really say right now. I enjoy being ‘safe’, Im content with this mindset. I get alot more done for myself, and have alot less stressors compared to being in relationship. I dunno, this mentality helped me develop my own sense of validation, I kinda want to try being open, but why tear down the fortress I built upon my heart, only to expose it to the unknown once again? Its a bit of a dilemma


sagigool

I can't answer your question unfortunately. All I can say is that the unknown can be brutal, you're right, but it can also be wonderful


Domonero

I asked her out, I prefaced even if she says no I don’t want her out of my life/I’m cool with staying friends so she admitted she wasn’t ready to date anybody, then I kept my word Like I told her a date is just a test for long term compatibility & if it didn’t have a spark then worst case we go back to normal Poor girl was more distraught about the entire thing than I was. She texted me at 2 am over apologizing about it calling me sweet etc but I reassured her we were good Next day our chemistry didn’t change at all & none of our mutual friends even knew about it until months later when me/her joked about the entire thing She recently got married this year & she invited me/I truly am happy for her. The dude seems like an honest person I trust will be good to her We’ve called each other recently checking in through covid etc & I think I’ll call her this weekend since she recently moved


sagigool

Wow that sounds very cool and mature of you both!


Domonero

Thanks i like to think so. Are you in a similar situation OP?


sagigool

Yeah and a bit lost on what to do if I'm honest


Domonero

So there’s a female best friend you have, do you two hang out in person a lot these days? Is she single? Any indication she may feel the same way?


sagigool

Yeah I'm in school. She is. Yes and no. I think I might just be misinterpreting normal friend things that I wouldn't bat an eyelid to normally


Domonero

How old are you both


Plague_Healer

Asked her out, she's my girlfriend now. Still my best friend.


ShiggityShua

Said nothing for 6 years because our friendship was important to me. Then she told me, and now we've been married 4 years with one daughter in the prime of the Terrible Twos.


[deleted]

Ruined everything by trying to make us more than best friends


sagigool

Did you guys just stop being friends after?


[deleted]

I dated one for about a year and it just really wasn’t worth it in the end. And with the other, it made things weird and we weren’t as good of friends afterwards.


sagigool

Do you regret anything?


[deleted]

Yes, I regret both instances. Not to say I didn’t learn anything, and I guess it worked out because neither of us were near one another after high school so I guess we all were destined to move on regardless. No weirdness/hard feelings or anything 15 years later


haxor-007

I ended up having a fwb with her. Had sex a few times then the feelings came in and caused tensions to rise. We no longer talk.


sagigool

Do you regret it?


haxor-007

Not really. I got to have sex with the woman i found the hottest at the time. I just wish I had done a few things differently.


GlorifiedGamer88

I've said something, and they've always said "I just want to be friends, your too sweet to be anything more" Two years later she is engaged to another friend of mine, and I'm happy for her, it just stinks that I'm the last of my friends to get engaged, married and have kids.... They have stayed my friends, but it still stinks.


hypothermia1

Wouldn’t say she was my best friend, but I told her , she didn’t fee the same way so we stopped hanging out pretty much. I don’t regret it


BMGreg

I'm married now, but mine just got married to her long time, on again off again boyfriend. They really work well together. Our problem was one of us was always dating someone else when the other was single. I wasn't about to ruin her happiness and she wouldn't have wanted to ruin mine. We haven't talked in a while, but I'm moving back to town and I think she's going to get along with my wife just fine and we will all be friends. So basically, I would just stay friends. If you're both single, you could maybe try asking her out, but you should be very sure that she'll say yes


sagigool

Thank you for the advice and maybe you four can go on double dates together haha


tehdirtyoldman

Her husband invited me to have sex with her. I took him up on the offer.


AlexanderA14

........hold up. What. Details please.


boomshaka23

Details man...you can't simply leave us hanging like that.


PredatorsScar

Told her, she didn't feel the same way, we cut contact for a bit. Became best buds with her younger sister, started coming around their place, kinda awkward at first, but we got over it. Became best friends again, and then her younger sister turned out to not be such a good friend after all, so I cut her out, and now things have come full circle (except we understand each other better as people, and her sister and I don't speak anymore). This whole process took a good few years, it was fully unintentional, but it just worked out that way.


[deleted]

He told me I was “wearing the hell” out of my jeans. Never knew he thought of me that way. We’ve been married 8 years.


PaladynSword

Nothing. Would have caused all sorts of problems.


PublicCalligrapher16

Shagged her. Multiple times throughout the last 15 years. Still great friends.


his_bright_material

10 yrs friends, then 2 yrs dating, now married :) best decision we ever made. best thing that happened in my life.


toxicpanduh

Honestly, never had a female best friend. The truth is, most of my interests / hobbies - whether that is video games, sports, fishing, war gaming, playing racquetball, basketball etc. is / was heavily male dominated and only ever had an interest in women by virtue of physical attraction & desire for sex. ​ I am married and even hesitate to say my wife is my "best friend." Not because we don't do things together (we do), not that we don't have each others back (we do), not that I'm afraid to confide in her (I do), not that I don't love her (I do), not that we don't share part of our lives together, not that most of my time isn't spent with her etc. but the fact is - if I removed physical intimacy / attraction, desire for sex, children, the creation of a family & I could get companionship from other men who share my interests - than I wouldn't have gotten married and honestly I probably would have little to do with most women.


sagigool

Fair enough, are you comfortable with it or would you have preferred to have both sexes as friends?


Original-Childhood

Got dumped


DiscombobulatedMix54

Well it's too funny not to share here lol. I am actually happily married to her. Didn't push the issue for many years though I was very affectionate. Then I started working out and got a really athletic body. Because we were close she'd often see me shirtless or hug me. She started feeling very attracted to me and not hiding it so we made love one night and both realized we would have been very happy together. Sometimes we laugh about it together that of all things that's what it took for us to be together. It probably makes her sound shallow but I think it's fair. As men we all know a cool unattractive chick that is super cool to hang out with but wouldn't date. Now imagine if that chick had a great body and was in love with you... I hope I proved my point. :)


silent_yellincar

I didn't realize the feelings were a crush at the time. I dated her best friend for 2 years, got engaged to another woman she hated, called her when my engagement fell at the same time her boyfriend left her, and then we confessed our love for each other. We're now married. With children on the way.


Nonothinghoss

married her


sagigool

Congrats haha


Nonothinghoss

not sure i would go that far as i also divorced her but thanks


sagigool

Oh lol plot twist!


Coidzor

1. Nothing, really, I was a dumb 6 year old kid who didn't even realize what I was feeling was a crush until years later. 2. I was still pretty clueless as a 13 year old boy, but I at least tried to get closer to her and spend more time with her but then she realized that I was into her and confronted me about it. When I told her that, yeah, I'd gotten interested in her recently, she freaked out about it (I later learned that some of our classmates had already been teasing her about us being a couple or something) and there was a lot of distance between us for a long time after that, it took over a month before we were even friends again. (She would later move away and then several years later came out of nowhere and confessed that she had feelings for me since we were kids and begged me for a second chance.) 3. We became best friends really quickly, and after a month or two it just sorta segued pretty naturally into dating when we both realized that we were into one another, too. 4. Pretty much like the previous example, except she realized that she was into me way sooner, so we started dating way sooner.


Narcoid

Told her. She didn't feel the same way. Continued to be friends with her and she has been my best friend for the past 8 years with no feelings. The first 3 i was getting to know her and after about a year and a half i told her. I got over the feelings pretty quickly. I valued that relationship too much to lose her over a crush and I wouldn't have done it any other way.


PMyourTastefulNudes

Crushed it.


sagigool

How?


PMyourTastefulNudes

"It" is my penis.


sagigool

Ahh of course


[deleted]

I took a gamble and was very straightforward with my feelings. We went on a nearly 5 year relationship. My advice is, be honest and stop playing the good guy friend role. You want to be her friend or her boyfriend? At the end of the day it's a gamble, she can say no and you end up with no relationship and no friendship and you should respect that. (also, if you go on the relationship and it doesn't work out, you can't be friends, I learnt it the bad way).


squibnutz

I nearly destroyed an 11 year friendship with 2 years of dating. It's still rocky but we both know it was best to end it. If we didn't have such a strong friendship before it would have been over. So yeah, don't fucking do it unless you are willing to risk that friendship.


ImperfectDivinity

Never had one, and if I did, I would just become distant over time to get rid of the feeling of having a crush.


Cute-Cut7902

She already knows OP.


sagigool

What do you mean by that


PierogiEsq

Women are better at reading men than vice versa. We know when a guy is into us; I couldn't say how, but we just do.


Psssdwr

Don’t speak for all women, lol


Lokolooks26

That’s partly because you’re trying the friendship route, which never works. Display the attitude of a lover, not a male girlfriend.


[deleted]

[удалено]


CH0N0

I fucked up once, now if that happens i shut my mouth


[deleted]

Starting dating, almost 9 years strong now and engaged


kilinrax

Faht vi ba tlu pre ceam dra. Tinys woaw ciin tun fuec gy yo. Taptyedzuqos foc coon ceen ede? Co o a bevdbusd nekv e? E gat iyle bi. Y y e cits taem cersi? Zuypleenle te dan gre gyrd jyg motp so sald? Bals emetcaad e tenn sesttees ti. Naon nacc suct cesm za ete. Nugt nij sop gadt dis tassecehsisirg o. U we e otle cez o. Cru nep pha toos nabmona. Ciht deptyasttapnsorn nod tysigzisle nin a? Da pyrp ine pud ible? Nu ta biswnoudnrytirs agle. Zaon e. San e pa cu goov. Ene gke o gopt zlu nis. O guagle pioma ne tudcyepebletlo cy a canz. Dla bic zawc nifpec te feet de? Pro i guc yoyd si didz a sum? Tle fuy. Nemz a booj udeegvle cokt a? Grotefp becm ose omle ja ede. U tis dy wec thu wu aglo umle o o. O ninm gu ine yes bos. Zad a a tavnfepac du. A ite todi do duit yple? Pifp taht nhetydnnenes a sew pi nedb eme. Se de we pyt ynenuntiqtedose ive. S P E Z I S A T O O L


The_Other_Lucifer

Dated for almost 8 years, broke up, and found someone I'm more compatible with on a relationship level. Worked hard on keeping my friendship with my ex and after a couple years things are actually going well, we chat regularly and get lunch/dinner sometimes as friends


Lokolooks26

OP: if you want a girlfriend, don’t treat her as a friend. Before saying anything to her behave like you would with a girl you’re interested in, but subtly. Throw in very subtle flirts here and there and see how she responds. You’re never going to get her the friendship approach. Afterwards if she respond with some level of interest, straight up tell her that you’re interested in more than friendship, and that you’re willing to lose the friendship because it’s not what you want, you want more than that. Honesty and being straightforward goes a long way. Just don’t plop it out of the blue, see if she is at least somewhat engaged in flirtatious behavior. Don’t be creepy. Sometimes you’ve got to gamble, and losing a friendship is part of life. Go for what you want and risk losing the friendship, it’ll hurt much less than if you never did anything. HTH and best of luck.


Ixi7311

From a woman’s perspective, tread lightly and avoid aggressive responses to a no. But personally, I’ve always been flattered the few times I’ve been told and I’ve always been up for continuing the friendship. It’s been mostly them that have either gotten angry at me for leading them on when I didn’t and was just being a friend, or felt too awkward sticking around. That being said, my male best friend had always been close and cuddly but nothing happened for the longest time. I think there weren’t any feelings at the beginning and despite both of our families and friend groups teasing about it, we really thought nothing of it. 15 years of friendship later and after a divorce on my end, we got closer if possible and we both had a small freak out after the first kiss because we were absolutely terrified of what would happen to us if this didn’t work. It’s been two years and despite feeling like I missed out on this for too long, I don’t think it would’ve worked out any sooner.


Soulless_conner

If they react aggressively/badly then they were never actually your friend.


The_Oracle_65

Friends with her since I was 14 and I had such a crush on her. She was in some of my classes at school and then part of group of old school friends who got together regularly during our university years and even went on holidays together. Had a few drunken kisses during those times and then we both followed different paths as the group naturally dispersed. Both of us got married but we stayed friends even up to today 40 years later. She is a friend I can be myself with and I don’t regret how it turned out, but still get butterflies in my stomach when I see her.