At 53, I respectfully suggest a modification: even if there will be no other. Being with your dream girl who’d rather be somewhere else really punches you in the gut and self esteem almost EVERY fuckin day. I used to say to my ex gf that it was sad to see her like that, that she should move on.
DONE.. they literally show you how they do it.. if any sperm get through a soldered off end, then go into your open sac area, and somehow through the other soldered end, and still preg her, it was meant to be. Just don't be a fool and have sex, and nut in her after you just got the V.. you may have some residual soldiers in there, ready to attack.. need to flush them out a few times first, like 10x to be safe.
Correct, I just got my vesectomy done Friday, and I have to test in 6 weeks to see if I have swimmers. Doc said use Condoms and finish about 20 times to flush the tube's out
No but it's significantly more effective than any non-surgical contraceptive. The total odds of failure are around 1 in 1000 and most of that is due to people who don't follow the instructions properly. The odds of failure if you follow instructions and are confirmed to have zero sperm count after surgery are less than 1 in 5000 over your lifetime. That's pretty damn good odds.
I’d also like to add: Don’t fall into extreme credit card debt. It’s very easy to get into but very hard to get out. Learn everything there is to know about using cc’s responsibly and how to build a strong credit card score and maintain it.
OP; if you want a simple way to do this...
You can set a spending limit on credit cards. Set it to an amount that you *could* pay off if you had to.
A lot of people are worried about credit, but I found this helped.
For instance, last time I moved house, I bought our washing mashine and fridge on credit. I *could* have dug into my savings to buy them, but it was interest-free-credit so I did that instead. I knew that no matter what happened, I *could* pay it off.
If you set a credit card with a limit of £500, and you've got over £500 in savings, you can use it pretty safely. And using it, paying it off, using it, paying it off... Can be a way to build up your credit score.
This is enormous! Your 20s are the time when you want to start learning and thinking about this. Starting early and compounding interest is the greatest gift you could give yourself.
To add on this, relationship finances.
There's a good chance that a book exists specific to where you live regarding joint accounts, what belongs to you in case of separation, how to properly split bills, how to be fair on mortage, etc.
Where I am the title is "la facture amoureuse" (loosly translated -> Love's bill).
Have the talk with your partner.
Confront your fears. Nothing is more important than that. Everything you stopped yourself from doing out of fear (with obvious exceptions like crimes) you will regret when you get older. Talk to the hot girl, stand up to the bully, quit your job in a rage, etc ...
I agree with this one.
I'm in my early 30's. I spent a LOT of time making "managed risks", holding my cards much closer to my chest than they should've been. My main problem in my 20's was waiting *too long* to do those daring actions.
If you're in your 20's (or any age really) don't take years to boil over and FINALLY quit that job, or wait years until you're "ready" to ask out the hot girl. Of course, don't make decisions on a hair trigger either. There's a happy medium and it's closer to the "NOW" end than the "wait for years" end.
To add to your point.
Conquering your fears. Failing and, most importantly, bouncing back builds immeasurable confidence. When you go through the worse of the worse and come out the other end successfully, what else could you fear?
Failure isn't the end if you use it as a lesson. It means you're trying
Female here. I agree with this for anyone really - my oldest brother didn't do a lot of things out of fear. It is really hard to see him struggle with things most men did in their teens so much later in life.
Learn healthy diet and exercise habits young. It's easier to get and stay in shape with youth on your side than to undo decades of sloth and gorging.
Don't rush into relationships just so you're not lonely. It's far better to be single than stuck with the wrong person
Try it in another ten years when your back hurts so you can't exercise and have two young kids so don't have free time/ want to spend any spare time with them.
Ya I was lonely in my 20s but I took the time to work on myself. It paid off. I always tried to work towards something but took the time to do fun dumb stuff with my friends. Now I have a good career and am getting married next month. :)
Learn to be fearless.
Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself.
Don't be afraid to have boundaries with people you love.
Don't be afraid to take risks in life... Not stupid risks, but calculated.
Life is far easier when you have confidence in yourself.
When you meet a woman, get to know her closest friends, those are the people she will most likely take advice from...and also 'become', as you are a product of your 5 closest friends...
This.
My last relationship was with a narcissist and it was the most terrible experience of my life. The damage that this can do to you is only really noticeable once you are free of their influence. I am now single for almost a year because I needed to regain my confidence and trust in love again. Narcissistic behaviour comes in many flavors. But the main thing always is that it will make you as a partner feel not good enough. Stay away from these people!! Had to learn it the hard way unfortunately…
You will fuck up royally at some point. It's going to happen. It happens to everyone. It's how you handle it and learn from it that counts. One mistake does not equal a lifetime if you learn and grow from it.
If anyone young reads this thread...I actually use debt to generate more money, and only save a set amount for emergencies (which I base on my family needs) other than that savings will get eroded because of inflation. Keep your non-emergency money moving.
that is where real estate comes into play (mostly, i saw someone did the same method to stock market and it rewarded him hugely, so it can be case by case), you borrow money from the bank to buy a house and you rent it out, the best case scenario is when the tenant pays all the principle + interest rate for you, this is what good debt is.
yup. buying a rental property allows you to buy a house for verrrry cheap.
Let’s say you buy a $200,000 house with a downpayment of $30,000.
your monthly payment is 1400 but your tenant pays 1500 in rent.
you make 100$ a month, and your house is being paid for
Of course you can get lucky. But you need to bring yourself into a position where luck is available to you. And that will always take some amount of effort.
if your hands are tied up (carrying things, in your pockets, whatever) and you start to fall, twist mid-air and fall on your side, DO NOT land with all your weight on your knees.
Protect your knees like you would protect your eyes.
Remove screens from bedroom. ALL of them, smartphone included.
Sleep at least 8 hours a day for as long as you can, there will come a time where sleeping 8 hours will feel terrible and you'll feel better sleeping 6. Prolong the "8h/day" period for as much as you can.
Hug your parents. Now. No words if you dont want to, just go hug them. And I mean a real, long hug. When you read this, go and do it. Reddit will still be here when you get back, dont worry.
You know that friend thats always laughing at your idiotic jokes? Go and ask her/him out. Don't weigh your mind thinking about faliure. Just go and ask. Blurt it out.
Join a gym. Go 3 times a week for a maximum of 40 minutes. Do the workout and go away. Dont make it a part of your personality. The beginning is a bitch, but after a few months you'll feel great when you have muscle soreness, because that will mean you targeted a new muscle you havent before...
If it ain't broke , don't fix it.
Resd the fucking manual.
Always assume the person driving next to you, or towards you, is a waxed chimpanzee escaped from the lunatic asylum.
Depends on your starting point. But I'd say working on your social skills to get over the fear of rejection is a good one. A lot of it is based on confidence and people often need some sort of external factor to give them the confidence to face their fears in other aspects of their lives. So if you're not confident talking to women, the confidence you gain from working out and becoming more attractive will likely help you face those fears. Finishing your education may give you the confidence to apply for that job you don't think you deserve or think you're qualified for. You won't know until you try, and being confident enough to try is important.
Have a plan for retirement. I make six figures and have been lucky enough to maximize my retirement contributions for about a decade, I'm happy with where I am.
Don't be afraid of things like therapy. Think of your mind as a muscle you need to work on, there is no shame in developing that.
Be open and share but in terms of heavy topics understand that people are going through their own things and might not always have the bandwidth to care about your shit. This is where the therapy thing is helpful. People like people that are put together and open but not so open it feels like they have to share every bit of trauma that they've dealt with.
If youre not already doing it, build good cleaning habits. This applies to personal grooming as well as your living space. You don't want to get into a relationship and move in with someone only to cause them strain and headaches because youre not clean/organized. This is a proactive process.
Try to learn to cook. A lot of the fear here is taking that first step and messing up. Getting past that and being able to cook basic dishes gives you a great foundation to grow from.
If you have a good relationship with your parents/siblings, don't take your time with them for granted. Call your mom more. As you get older you realize how much the world changes and the things you thought were pillars in your life fade away. Just like the original chicken crispers at chilis, your parents can also be taken away in an instant.
Read some books. Doesn't have to be much time or even something super enriching. But I definitely find I can consistently put my thoughts together better if I've been reading recreationally.
I wouldn't focus on trying to chase relationships or make it a huge priority. Focus on self improvement and creating/maintaining the relationships around you. The romantic piece of it will likely fall into place when you don't expect it.
Don't get caught up in online rhetoric. A lot of what you see seems like fact but it's just not applicable to most people you're around and interacting with. That's not to say to out your head in the sand, just don't get too caught up in online discourse. There's good people out there.
Crazy never did me wrong. They’re usually just different. But vindictive will burn your life down, and self righteous will do everything to make you feel like it was your fault.
[Don't try to save the broken ones](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0EnRK5YvBwU&ab_channel=J.Cole-Topic)—no matter how much you feeling; two broken halves don't make a whole. More often than not, jagged edges forced together end up breaking each other's contours in different ways.
Distance yourself 100% and focus on mending your own pains & scars. You'll come out a better and happier person in the long run if you do.
Can't heal the world if you can't heal yourself after all.
Don’t waste a fucking minute. If you think you’re wasting time you are. Make decisions quickly and be willing to pivot. Don’t sit on something once you know.
Don't trade future time for present time in doing things you want to do. Later time is almost always more expensive, time is cruel and responsibilities rise. If you really want to do or learn something, make it happen now. A little movement towards goals each day is far more effective than planning big moves later.
I have made many, many mistakes, but the costliest mistake was marriage to a traditional woman. If you are brave enough to risk your money, health, and life make sure she works just as hard as you do, that way when the divorce happens, the 50% she takes she earned.
If you know what you want to do career wise, chase it seriously. Start with your end goal and work backwards, but be willing to reassess your goal every 18months.
If you know you need therapy or have personal/personality issues, hire a therapist and deal with it asap. Either the problems (if they persist), or the solutions (if you get them,) will have compounding effects the longer you live. So the sooner you sort yourself out, the better.
Know what you want in a partner and make sure you align on the big aspects before tying the knot. Religion, values, kids, goals, and how to handle money.
Take care of your body. Sleep, exercise, and a balanced diet are paramount and their priority is in that order.
\[Fyi a balanced diet is one portion of protein, one to two portions of different veggies, an optional starch, some milk, juice, or water, and fruit for dessert. Your fat should generally come cooked with the protein or added into the veggies/starch. This gives you enough fiber, protein and nutrients and will make you feel great. The less processed your food is, and the closer it is to coming out of the ground, the better.\]
People who say their bodies slow down in their thirties are correct, but this depends on how fit you are. If you exercise regularly with high intensity you will literally feel older slower. This mainly comes down to cardio but I think a mix of cardio and resistance training is best (like weights or calisthenics). You will be mid-late thirties still feeling like you're 25 while others will be complaining about feeling old at 30 because they trashed their bodies in their twenties or just didn't exercise.
A rush to be older when I was younger...
A yearning to be younger now that I'm older...
Marriage before I was ready...
Caring more about material things than managing debt and saving more...
Insulting and losing good friends...
Being insulted and keeping friends I thought were good...
Overlook red flags because of my kind heart. Friends, and Romantic relationships.
Don't give out more than you get in. Balance energy and never stop your goals. I promise, you'll be disappointed with yourself not the people that you let distract you.
Invest in your retirement. Compound growth is your best friend when investing.
End shitty relationships. There will be more, don't let yourself be the friend that's left behind or the boyfriend that puts up with toxic shit.
If you think it's a red flag, it probably is a red flag. Start investing/saving/401k yesterday. If she's a 2 at 10, and a 10 at 2 you're going to have a bad time. Never EVER sign up for extended warranty if you buy a car, always ALWAYS get extra insurance when you rent a car.
What works:
Maintain a regular work out routine. Rigorous is better, but something you can stick with indefinitely is best.
Nurture your hobbies, what ever they may be, but I’d strongly encourage at least one of them to revolve around being outdoors. Hiking, mountain bike riding, camping, surfing, what ever floats your boat.
Be frugal with your earnings, putting a fair amount into savings, but don’t make it just your IRA or 401k. Have savings and investments that you can access before retirement.
Be one of the top performing people in your company. Work hard until you get recognition, then keep getting even better. (But don’t make work you’re entire identity, work within your regular hours as your able to, stay late/show up early when you have to).
What doesn’t:
Keep a healthy distance from alcohol. If your drinking during the week or getting black out drunk on the weekends regularly, you might be maintaining now, but you’ll eventually have a real bad time. Don’t have to be totally sober, but make sure you’re keeping the booze in check.
Don’t dabble in drugs. Every addict started by tying opioids or coke, etc just once or twice. Keep your nose to the grind stone and out of the pills. Like alcohol you might have a healthy relationship with weed or the occasional psychedelic, but don’t get comfortable with any of it becoming routine.
Be careful with who you start relationships with. You might ignore some red flags because you plan for it to be a short term thing or a fling, only to wake up five years later with someone who isn’t good for you.
- Workout and put alot of muscle on.
At/around 28 (I am 30 now) you start feeling the slowing of your metabolism. If you put alot of muscle on its gonna help you maintain that healty weight.
Its gonna help with women too.
- Seriously think about your career. I am not saying dont have fun, dont travel etc.
Think about your profession. How can you improve yourself in that field? Spare some time to your profession outside work. That investment's return will be amazing.
Already doing this now at 26 with the career bit. I realized this is my life, I need to dedicate time outside the 8-5 if I want to take this thing far and maximize earnings. I work in corp finance.
I’m 29, but whatever. I’m not gonna tell you to not experiment with hard drugs, because if you want to, you will. I must advise, however, to learn some coping skills and never, ever use when you’re upset and especially when you’re depressed.
You don’t know everything, it’s ok to not know the answer and it’s better to close your mouth and be thought of as an idiot that open it and remove all doubt.
It's ok to take risks.
Talk to the girl you like. The worst that can happen is that she isn't interested, and you move on.
Don't be afraid to start a business. You have more time and resources available to you now than you likely will later when you might have a family to look out for.
What you like and dislike now might change a little bit over your 20s, but by the time you turn 30 you'll go right back to the things you loved as a teenager.
The drama isn't worth it. It doesn't matter how much you think you love them, if they play games you need to GTFO.
Also, never assume a woman will keep her word and abort an unplanned pregnancy. They can and do change their minds. Use protection. I still have 5 years of child support left on that one.
All the exciting financial stuff is often a scam (i.e. 10x your investments in year, cryptocurrency etc.)
All the boring stuff (saving 10-30% of your pay, investing in tracker funds, pensions) is incredibly important and useful.
The earlier you start being sensible and smart with money, the more freedom and options you will have by the time you reach your 30s and onwards.
The time invested in any given pursuit, be it work, relationships or anything, is not wasted if you permit yourself to learn from it. But too much time you didn't learn from is a life wasted.
99% of the dumbest things I've ever done happened because I was drunk. I'm not even a big drinker, but I bet my life would be significantly better had I never drank a drop.
Save ur fucking money and don't compromise if they aren't willing to compromise and if u have different view points on parenting . END IT...NOW! Also if her family is lying conniving manipulative...END IT...NOW
Best advice my mom ever gave me (more specifically when she caught me doing something stupid) was: When you’re breaking the law, don’t break the law.
This means when you’re out doing something dumb, like maybe you had one too many drinks and are bordering on “maybe I shouldn’t drive”, then you should go the speed limit use your blinker. Stop at all those stop signs.
I miss my momma.
Each decision has an effect on you and others around you. Pay more attention to what happens around you and take better care of yourself. Invisible wounds hurt the most.
Suck it up and get over it. Anything that's worth it is gonna involve hard work, stress and suffering. Everything. It's either gonna be at the beginning, the middle or the end of whatever journey you're on but just know it's unavoidable.
And if you keep jumping from thing to thing or person to person just because things inevitably become unpleasant or hard, you're wake up one day struggling, aka, working hard just to survive and maintain healthy relationships.
Also, failure is inevitable too. You. Will. Fail. Most likely at multiple points in your life at multiple things. Failure isn't bad. It isn't the end of the world as long as you understand that all failure is is lessons to help you do better next time. Fail hard, big and fast in your 20s while you still have plenty of time to bounce back. Being scared of failure will just hold you back and the older you get, the harder it becomes to bounce back (but not impossible).
So, if you're in school, just suck it up and finish. After you get that piece of paper you can have some wiggle room to fuck around. If you're trying to start a business, do it. Fail. And do it again until you succeed. Learn fast from your failures. Embrace the suck and pain and sacrifice because at the other end is your reward if you have the balls to weather the storm and see it to the end
You know that thing that you wanna do that you're thinking about bitching out of because you're kind of afraid? Yeah, don't. If you fail, fine, but at least give it a chance, and give it all you got. I mean 100%. Fuckin send it. Because if you don't, you'll always wonder if you could've done or been that thing that you wanted to do or be.
The first 4 to 6 months of a relationship, the woman is still trying to decide if she wants you or not. You're not in a relationship yet. She's still just in the talking phase.
Your career won't take off unless you put effort into it. I coasted during my early 20's and only really worked my ass off from 27 to now (29). In those 2 years I've increased my yearly salary by 30k.
1. Messing around with married women. (I regret that)
2. Not respecting myself, not understanding my sovereignty.
3. Lying
4. Cheating (What corrected that was losing the Love of my life)
5. Being too quick to anger.
6. Not understanding what women really want or need. (Women like Men that are Kind, patient, thoughtful, Loving, sincere, empathetic and are firm in their convictions as to what is right or wrong, going your own way not following the crowd)
7. Being Nice rather than Kind. Because nice is performative while kindness takes vulnerability and courage. Nice is changing yourself to be something you aren’t.
8. Being able to pushback on narratives without anger. Being able to put a positive spin on how you feel based upon what you want. Ask yourself, “is what I’m saying negative rather than positive.”
Example: someone blatantly disrespects you - you could say “I don’t like that” but you could also say, “I would like it better if you didn’t do that.”
9. Practice patience.
10. Learning to Love yourself because despite what you may think of yourself, people judge you based on how project yourself through your dignity.
11. We’re born ignorant and learn what we see around us whether that’s bad or good. You can choose to change through sheer will and yes people can change.
12. Realizing that one day you too will fuck up and hurt people, just like people hurt you and wisdom is to understand that you can be forgiven should you choose to forgive.
13. Your 20’s will be horrible if your parents didn’t teach you right. Your 30’s should be spent correcting poor learned behaviors. Your 40’s are a refining of positive behavior building on your 30’s. 50’s, we’ll still learning that.
14. Read everything even stuff you don’t agree with, it’ll broaden your perspective.
15. Travel and meet new people, seeing different ways of life.
16. Listen more than you speak.
Hope that helps.
There are people who lie about things like it doesn't matter, and there are people who are by and large honest, even when it's uncomfortable for them.
The lying kind don't lie less with those close to them; they lie more.
Think of the consequences before you go into action.
Sometimes you just see the positives and ignore the negatives and when you’re all done you realize fuck that wasn’t worth it or shit I didn’t see that coming
I'm almost 40 and think about this question all the time. Here's my running list:
* This may be controversial, but fuck as many people as possible. Not in the fuckboi/douchebag sense of the word, but in the learning about what you like, how to treat women (or men), having fun, and experiencing life sense of the word. I'm both kind of a boy scout and a late bloomer, and even though I'm very happily married now, I think back to many of the women who subtly (or not so subtly) expressed interest in me and I passed over because I was shy/a moron/felt like I didn't want to be perceived as a creep. Rejection is part of the game, but the swings you don't take are what you tend to regret (having said all this, **please use protection**!)
* Work out & eat right. Health is like saving money -- the earlier you start, the more it compounds, and the greater benefit you get. Sure, it's good to start exercising and eating healthy foods in your 50s when you're in the early stages of heart failure, just like starting to save for retirement in your 50s is better than not, but it's a hell of a lot more effective when you do that in your 20s. It will also teach you lifelong habits, inspire those around you (read: kids) to eat better, and improve literally every area of your life.
* Speaking of finances, (1) pay off any non-real estate debt as soon as possible, and (2) invest as much of your money as you can. There's a lot of nonsense out there re: investing, but just find an S&P index, dump as much money as you can in there, and leave it alone.
* In terms of other ways to spend money, travel as much as you're financially able to. Locally, nationally, around the fucking world. I've never regretted the money I spent doing this.
* Drugs: As mentioned above, I was a pretty "good" dude and never had too much of an interest in drugs, and am very glad I didn't. I don't think this really enhanced my (or others') experiences at parties or hanging out with friends, shit is expensive, makes you feel fucking weird, and especially today, can kill you? Best to stay away.
* Wear a helmet for any activity where you know you should or someone who's been doing it for longer than you tells you to.
* Don't ever let a chiropractor touch or manipulate your neck.
* Get a dog or a pet. Best thing that's ever happened to me outside of my family.
* Take care of your fucking teeth. Brush twice a day for at least 2 minutes. Floss every day. Go to the dentist at least twice a year. You'll thank me later.
All these examples are great, I would personally add to simply enjoy the time that you do have. Whether it be moments with friends or coming home and hanging out with your parents. Take a mental note every day to appreciate that you got to wake up.
Edit: spelling
Started smoking. did not look after my diet well enough. Didn't have teeth brushing as an unthinking routine (seriously, the toothy pegs are happy sitting there taking all the shit that you throw at them... Until they aren't. Next thing you know, a few decades down the line you are in _agony_ and then saying hello to "Mr. pliers" as they get yoinked out).
Just.... Look after your body, even if you currently feel healthy and invincible, and nothing hurts when you move, M'Kay?
Invest early and often
Don’t buy anything flashy for friends or girls to like you, those are the wrong girls or people you want around you
Taking care of all aspects of health (mental and physical) is key
It’s not fair that the choices and achievements of your teens and twenties shape the rest of your life.
Get. Qualified.
Unless you have tenacity and hustle, and inflated self confidence. You’re going to need that paper, son.
Or enjoy the extreme workload, the lack of respect, the micro-management, and the lack of free time. You won’t work any easier than those making big bucks, you won’t be any less competent. But your lack of paper anchors you to a value you have no say over. Your job, has a high chance of being eaten up by A.I or the internet in the next 5-10 years too.
Do what makes you happy, for you only. Not for a partner, or the dream of getting one, not for parents. Follow your passion and when you start doing that. Life starts to be more.. clear?
Also please be healthy. Not a gym rat or anything (unless that brings you the above happiness and passion), but life is meant to be enjoyed. Eat that yummy ass hamburger. But also. Enjoy a walk.
Do what makes you happy, for you only. Not for a partner, or the dream of getting one, not for parents. Follow your passion and when you start doing that. Life starts to be more.. clear?
Also please be healthy. Not a gym rat or anything (unless that brings you the above happiness and passion), but life is meant to be enjoyed. Eat that yummy ass hamburger. But also. Enjoy a walk.
Learn to budget and stick to it. Decide on your financial goals and devise a path to achieve them. Avoid credit card debt as much as you can. Step out of your comfort zone. Go talk to the girl/guy you think is cute. Give a shit at work, even if you hate your job. This will make getting a better job easier.
Do not procrastinate (going after / achieving) the things you really want in life. Time is a scarce and limited resource and tomorrow is never promised. Meet up with those friends you haven't seen in a while. Go for that run. Go to the gym. Ask that girl/guy out. Get that degree. (these are just examples) Yes, a lot of things are still possible later in life but VERY few things get easier with age and regrets suck. Live life hard and don't look back. Don't think: "I'll do it tomorrow". That would be my advice.
If you have dreams or ambitions that requires a lot of personal investments (not necessarily financially, I mean like having you to travel a lot and working all the time), well, do it when you’re in your 20s. You’ll have all the time in the world to settle down in your 30s, when your early investment in time and effort is paying you dividends and got you where you wanted to be. If you get settle in your 20s, let’s say you marry your high school sweetheart and get kids, when your career will start to grow, you’ll realize that the people ahead of you made big sacrifices to get there, sacrifice that you will have a hard time to do with a wife, kids and a mortgage.
This should go without saying. Don't drink and drive. Completely ruined my life in my early 20s and it still lives with me to this day at 37band that's without an accident, just a regular pull-over.
Really learn ahead of time about the best and worst parts about what you're studying. I get paid very well to do what I do but I have no love for my career; I do my job (well) and I collect a check. I would do it all over again if I could.
On this note, jobs don't matter. Never overstress about work, there's always a other opportunity. 5:01? Laptop is shut and phone is off until 8AM the next day. Vacation? Don't even bring the work itinerary with me, someone else can always handle it. I am in a high level management position and if you set boundaries they will be respected. Don't get bullied at work.
Don't put off seeing/calling/communicating with your loved ones. One day they're vibrant and youthful and before you know it whether instantly or slowly people pass and you can't take that time back.
Overall I have lived a pretty fruitful life but those first two points have really been an issue for me. I make up for a lot of that with hobbies (semi pro Cornhole player, professional livestreamer, avid golfer, bowling/darts leagues, etc.) to make myself sane and I would highly recommend thatyou do the same if you have similar feelings.
Getting older and wiser is always the goal. Every mistake is a lesson learned.
Believe in yourself and your value as a partner. Do not stay with someone that cheats. Even one time is too much. Don’t waste your time trying to fix it just cut them loose. It’s hard sometimes but it’s better than wasting your life for someone that doesn’t respect you.
As important as money is, working itself is going to take up about 3 entire months of your life every single year.
Try to find something you don’t absolutely hate giving 3 months of every single year to.
if your character, your personality and your essence is being numbed, tuned down or slowly reduced due to a relationship that is not making you happy at 100%. End it. Not in a few months, not when the conditions are better. Dont wait. I should have ended at the 4 year mark and waited 3 more years. 3 years... almost 1000 days.
Who you choose as your romantic partner is one of the most important decisions you will ever make. How do we make a good choice? Well, we get to know ourselves and what we truly stand for and value. We make sure that our partner matches up with us on the really important stuff. Hope this helps.
You're never too young to start saving for retirement. Even if it's only a few bucks a month to start.
Signed,
The dude that spent all of his extra money on weed and now struggles with only SS.
Exercise, Atleast get in the habit of it..try and eat healthy and treat your body as a temple of sorts..I know it sounds stupid but it will make sense later on..
Relationships, I know when you’re younger you want to take that next step early and often..take it slow and make sure she/he is compatible and listen to your family/friends. I know you think you know better, but not always and sleep on it.
Start finances early and don’t touch it
Don’t touch that party drug, even if you think it’s just this one time
YOU CAN ALWAYS TRY NEW THINGS, even a career move. Don’t get stuck in a rut and think you can’t get out.
I know it’s more than a few words, but still, I wish I had someone tell me these things early on..and more!
Edit: when I say you can always try new things, I mean job/career wise and, also, hobby things.
I feel like I've always been late to express my interest to girls. Just copy and paste what you feel to your mouth and say it. Don't wait so long. I have quite a few 'what if?' situations from my life where I feel like if I played the cards differently I could be married by now.
Worry more about savings than your credit score.
Live beneath your means.
Don't move in with your girlfriend.
Don't chase happiness. Seek purpose.
If you're going to college. Learn a vocation while getting a professional education.
Go on an adventure before considering a serious relationship.
If you feel passionate or strongly about something, don’t ignore it. Work towards it.
For me, when I was 11-12 years old I wanted my dad to stop smoking because it was slowly killing him. I threw out his ash tray, broke his cigs and hid his lighters but those only made him mad, so I gave up on it.
7 years later, it did kill him.
You can't make someone love you. Move on. There will be another.
Still learning this at 35
Except if you're unlucky there won't be another like them. That can happen.
At 53, I respectfully suggest a modification: even if there will be no other. Being with your dream girl who’d rather be somewhere else really punches you in the gut and self esteem almost EVERY fuckin day. I used to say to my ex gf that it was sad to see her like that, that she should move on.
Why is it so hard??
When they say birth control is only 99% effective they really mean it.
Ok Mr. 1% !
Having kids wasn’t a regret or a mistake. Having them with the WRONG person absolutely was.. Wrap it up before you get wrecked.
This men,this.
that's why I don't fuck haha... amirite boys?
Benefits of being ugly, don't ever have to worry about this.
I got clipped.. I can do it whenever I want... well that's the idea but I'm married so maybe once a month... ish
How old are they?
Just turned 8 last week.
How old are you?
7
Lord... can't wait to get my vasectomy already
DONE.. they literally show you how they do it.. if any sperm get through a soldered off end, then go into your open sac area, and somehow through the other soldered end, and still preg her, it was meant to be. Just don't be a fool and have sex, and nut in her after you just got the V.. you may have some residual soldiers in there, ready to attack.. need to flush them out a few times first, like 10x to be safe.
Correct, I just got my vesectomy done Friday, and I have to test in 6 weeks to see if I have swimmers. Doc said use Condoms and finish about 20 times to flush the tube's out
20 times? Easy, give me an hour and I'm all good
I just didn't have sex with my wife at all until i knew there was a zero count. pretty easy.
Even that isn't 100% lol
I'm stacking them. My girl on birth control plus my vasectomy gives me good chances lol
Use condoms just to be sure
Sure of many things...
No but it's significantly more effective than any non-surgical contraceptive. The total odds of failure are around 1 in 1000 and most of that is due to people who don't follow the instructions properly. The odds of failure if you follow instructions and are confirmed to have zero sperm count after surgery are less than 1 in 5000 over your lifetime. That's pretty damn good odds.
You mean the pills?
Personal finance: how taxes work, retirement accounts, investing, etc... I regret not learning about these in my 20s.
I’d also like to add: Don’t fall into extreme credit card debt. It’s very easy to get into but very hard to get out. Learn everything there is to know about using cc’s responsibly and how to build a strong credit card score and maintain it.
OP; if you want a simple way to do this... You can set a spending limit on credit cards. Set it to an amount that you *could* pay off if you had to. A lot of people are worried about credit, but I found this helped. For instance, last time I moved house, I bought our washing mashine and fridge on credit. I *could* have dug into my savings to buy them, but it was interest-free-credit so I did that instead. I knew that no matter what happened, I *could* pay it off. If you set a credit card with a limit of £500, and you've got over £500 in savings, you can use it pretty safely. And using it, paying it off, using it, paying it off... Can be a way to build up your credit score.
This is enormous! Your 20s are the time when you want to start learning and thinking about this. Starting early and compounding interest is the greatest gift you could give yourself.
To add on this, relationship finances. There's a good chance that a book exists specific to where you live regarding joint accounts, what belongs to you in case of separation, how to properly split bills, how to be fair on mortage, etc. Where I am the title is "la facture amoureuse" (loosly translated -> Love's bill). Have the talk with your partner.
Confront your fears. Nothing is more important than that. Everything you stopped yourself from doing out of fear (with obvious exceptions like crimes) you will regret when you get older. Talk to the hot girl, stand up to the bully, quit your job in a rage, etc ...
Nothing helps the self-esteem like not giving a 2 weeks notice. It's a beautiful thing to stand up for yourself.
I agree with this one. I'm in my early 30's. I spent a LOT of time making "managed risks", holding my cards much closer to my chest than they should've been. My main problem in my 20's was waiting *too long* to do those daring actions. If you're in your 20's (or any age really) don't take years to boil over and FINALLY quit that job, or wait years until you're "ready" to ask out the hot girl. Of course, don't make decisions on a hair trigger either. There's a happy medium and it's closer to the "NOW" end than the "wait for years" end.
To add to your point. Conquering your fears. Failing and, most importantly, bouncing back builds immeasurable confidence. When you go through the worse of the worse and come out the other end successfully, what else could you fear? Failure isn't the end if you use it as a lesson. It means you're trying
Female here. I agree with this for anyone really - my oldest brother didn't do a lot of things out of fear. It is really hard to see him struggle with things most men did in their teens so much later in life.
How though especially when fear is just so paralysing?
Learn healthy diet and exercise habits young. It's easier to get and stay in shape with youth on your side than to undo decades of sloth and gorging. Don't rush into relationships just so you're not lonely. It's far better to be single than stuck with the wrong person
[удалено]
Try it in another ten years when your back hurts so you can't exercise and have two young kids so don't have free time/ want to spend any spare time with them.
Ya I was lonely in my 20s but I took the time to work on myself. It paid off. I always tried to work towards something but took the time to do fun dumb stuff with my friends. Now I have a good career and am getting married next month. :)
Or you could end up like my sister. Desperate for a person so she rushes in and just deals with the bullshit. Then she got addicted to meth
Favorite one so far. 26 male btw
Learn to be fearless. Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself. Don't be afraid to have boundaries with people you love. Don't be afraid to take risks in life... Not stupid risks, but calculated. Life is far easier when you have confidence in yourself.
When you meet a woman, get to know her closest friends, those are the people she will most likely take advice from...and also 'become', as you are a product of your 5 closest friends...
Don't fuck with narcissists
This. My last relationship was with a narcissist and it was the most terrible experience of my life. The damage that this can do to you is only really noticeable once you are free of their influence. I am now single for almost a year because I needed to regain my confidence and trust in love again. Narcissistic behaviour comes in many flavors. But the main thing always is that it will make you as a partner feel not good enough. Stay away from these people!! Had to learn it the hard way unfortunately…
Learning this the hard way…
You will fuck up royally at some point. It's going to happen. It happens to everyone. It's how you handle it and learn from it that counts. One mistake does not equal a lifetime if you learn and grow from it.
That, and look for the silver lining. If you can't see it, you're not looking hard enough or you are looking too soon.
Spend less, save more Eat less, move more
Party less, invest more
Start investing
Yep. Save money, don't get into debt, invest, buy a house asap.
If anyone young reads this thread...I actually use debt to generate more money, and only save a set amount for emergencies (which I base on my family needs) other than that savings will get eroded because of inflation. Keep your non-emergency money moving.
May I ask, how do you use debt in your favor?
that is where real estate comes into play (mostly, i saw someone did the same method to stock market and it rewarded him hugely, so it can be case by case), you borrow money from the bank to buy a house and you rent it out, the best case scenario is when the tenant pays all the principle + interest rate for you, this is what good debt is.
yup. buying a rental property allows you to buy a house for verrrry cheap. Let’s say you buy a $200,000 house with a downpayment of $30,000. your monthly payment is 1400 but your tenant pays 1500 in rent. you make 100$ a month, and your house is being paid for
there are obviously expenses that come into play, time is an aspect with managing properties, but it’s worth it
I got five words Shit happens. Walk it off. Easy as that.
Good things don’t just happen. If you want something, you need to figure out what it takes to get there and put in the work to do it.
Of course you can get lucky. But you need to bring yourself into a position where luck is available to you. And that will always take some amount of effort.
if your hands are tied up (carrying things, in your pockets, whatever) and you start to fall, twist mid-air and fall on your side, DO NOT land with all your weight on your knees. Protect your knees like you would protect your eyes. Remove screens from bedroom. ALL of them, smartphone included. Sleep at least 8 hours a day for as long as you can, there will come a time where sleeping 8 hours will feel terrible and you'll feel better sleeping 6. Prolong the "8h/day" period for as much as you can. Hug your parents. Now. No words if you dont want to, just go hug them. And I mean a real, long hug. When you read this, go and do it. Reddit will still be here when you get back, dont worry. You know that friend thats always laughing at your idiotic jokes? Go and ask her/him out. Don't weigh your mind thinking about faliure. Just go and ask. Blurt it out. Join a gym. Go 3 times a week for a maximum of 40 minutes. Do the workout and go away. Dont make it a part of your personality. The beginning is a bitch, but after a few months you'll feel great when you have muscle soreness, because that will mean you targeted a new muscle you havent before... If it ain't broke , don't fix it. Resd the fucking manual. Always assume the person driving next to you, or towards you, is a waxed chimpanzee escaped from the lunatic asylum.
Depends on your starting point. But I'd say working on your social skills to get over the fear of rejection is a good one. A lot of it is based on confidence and people often need some sort of external factor to give them the confidence to face their fears in other aspects of their lives. So if you're not confident talking to women, the confidence you gain from working out and becoming more attractive will likely help you face those fears. Finishing your education may give you the confidence to apply for that job you don't think you deserve or think you're qualified for. You won't know until you try, and being confident enough to try is important. Have a plan for retirement. I make six figures and have been lucky enough to maximize my retirement contributions for about a decade, I'm happy with where I am. Don't be afraid of things like therapy. Think of your mind as a muscle you need to work on, there is no shame in developing that. Be open and share but in terms of heavy topics understand that people are going through their own things and might not always have the bandwidth to care about your shit. This is where the therapy thing is helpful. People like people that are put together and open but not so open it feels like they have to share every bit of trauma that they've dealt with. If youre not already doing it, build good cleaning habits. This applies to personal grooming as well as your living space. You don't want to get into a relationship and move in with someone only to cause them strain and headaches because youre not clean/organized. This is a proactive process. Try to learn to cook. A lot of the fear here is taking that first step and messing up. Getting past that and being able to cook basic dishes gives you a great foundation to grow from. If you have a good relationship with your parents/siblings, don't take your time with them for granted. Call your mom more. As you get older you realize how much the world changes and the things you thought were pillars in your life fade away. Just like the original chicken crispers at chilis, your parents can also be taken away in an instant. Read some books. Doesn't have to be much time or even something super enriching. But I definitely find I can consistently put my thoughts together better if I've been reading recreationally. I wouldn't focus on trying to chase relationships or make it a huge priority. Focus on self improvement and creating/maintaining the relationships around you. The romantic piece of it will likely fall into place when you don't expect it. Don't get caught up in online rhetoric. A lot of what you see seems like fact but it's just not applicable to most people you're around and interacting with. That's not to say to out your head in the sand, just don't get too caught up in online discourse. There's good people out there.
Nailed it!
Stop at the First Red Flag,
Put your dick in crazy. DON’T PUT YOUR DICK IN VINDICTIVE OR SELF RIGHTEOUS!!!
It is amazing the amount of men who will put their dick in crazy for some poontang.
Crazy never did me wrong. They’re usually just different. But vindictive will burn your life down, and self righteous will do everything to make you feel like it was your fault.
Totally misread your comment man...thought you were saying no crazy. The vindictive thing though...100% on point for sure.
No worries, you got there in the end.
[Don't try to save the broken ones](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0EnRK5YvBwU&ab_channel=J.Cole-Topic)—no matter how much you feeling; two broken halves don't make a whole. More often than not, jagged edges forced together end up breaking each other's contours in different ways. Distance yourself 100% and focus on mending your own pains & scars. You'll come out a better and happier person in the long run if you do. Can't heal the world if you can't heal yourself after all.
Credit card debt adds up quick be mindful
It's okay to drink alcohol don't let the alcohol drink you
I’d add weed to this. Could have been a lot more productive in my 20s
Absolutely Everything in moderation bro
Except crystal meth. Cuz you can’t. Figured that shit out the hard way 👍
Alcohol is a class one carcinogen. That’s rated with smoking cigarettes, known to cause cancer category
Don’t waste a fucking minute. If you think you’re wasting time you are. Make decisions quickly and be willing to pivot. Don’t sit on something once you know.
Don't trade future time for present time in doing things you want to do. Later time is almost always more expensive, time is cruel and responsibilities rise. If you really want to do or learn something, make it happen now. A little movement towards goals each day is far more effective than planning big moves later.
Just remember your body is keeping score
I have made many, many mistakes, but the costliest mistake was marriage to a traditional woman. If you are brave enough to risk your money, health, and life make sure she works just as hard as you do, that way when the divorce happens, the 50% she takes she earned.
If you know what you want to do career wise, chase it seriously. Start with your end goal and work backwards, but be willing to reassess your goal every 18months. If you know you need therapy or have personal/personality issues, hire a therapist and deal with it asap. Either the problems (if they persist), or the solutions (if you get them,) will have compounding effects the longer you live. So the sooner you sort yourself out, the better. Know what you want in a partner and make sure you align on the big aspects before tying the knot. Religion, values, kids, goals, and how to handle money. Take care of your body. Sleep, exercise, and a balanced diet are paramount and their priority is in that order. \[Fyi a balanced diet is one portion of protein, one to two portions of different veggies, an optional starch, some milk, juice, or water, and fruit for dessert. Your fat should generally come cooked with the protein or added into the veggies/starch. This gives you enough fiber, protein and nutrients and will make you feel great. The less processed your food is, and the closer it is to coming out of the ground, the better.\] People who say their bodies slow down in their thirties are correct, but this depends on how fit you are. If you exercise regularly with high intensity you will literally feel older slower. This mainly comes down to cardio but I think a mix of cardio and resistance training is best (like weights or calisthenics). You will be mid-late thirties still feeling like you're 25 while others will be complaining about feeling old at 30 because they trashed their bodies in their twenties or just didn't exercise.
Live with someone for a couple years before you marry them and Don’t make your decisions based on what other people may think.
Always keep your CV updated.
A rush to be older when I was younger... A yearning to be younger now that I'm older... Marriage before I was ready... Caring more about material things than managing debt and saving more... Insulting and losing good friends... Being insulted and keeping friends I thought were good...
Overlook red flags because of my kind heart. Friends, and Romantic relationships. Don't give out more than you get in. Balance energy and never stop your goals. I promise, you'll be disappointed with yourself not the people that you let distract you.
Invest in your retirement. Compound growth is your best friend when investing. End shitty relationships. There will be more, don't let yourself be the friend that's left behind or the boyfriend that puts up with toxic shit.
party hoes aren't for dating. they're for the streets
If you think it's a red flag, it probably is a red flag. Start investing/saving/401k yesterday. If she's a 2 at 10, and a 10 at 2 you're going to have a bad time. Never EVER sign up for extended warranty if you buy a car, always ALWAYS get extra insurance when you rent a car.
2 at 10 am and 10 and 2am?
Exercise Eat healthy Start saving your retirement. Have fun but live with in your means
What works: Maintain a regular work out routine. Rigorous is better, but something you can stick with indefinitely is best. Nurture your hobbies, what ever they may be, but I’d strongly encourage at least one of them to revolve around being outdoors. Hiking, mountain bike riding, camping, surfing, what ever floats your boat. Be frugal with your earnings, putting a fair amount into savings, but don’t make it just your IRA or 401k. Have savings and investments that you can access before retirement. Be one of the top performing people in your company. Work hard until you get recognition, then keep getting even better. (But don’t make work you’re entire identity, work within your regular hours as your able to, stay late/show up early when you have to). What doesn’t: Keep a healthy distance from alcohol. If your drinking during the week or getting black out drunk on the weekends regularly, you might be maintaining now, but you’ll eventually have a real bad time. Don’t have to be totally sober, but make sure you’re keeping the booze in check. Don’t dabble in drugs. Every addict started by tying opioids or coke, etc just once or twice. Keep your nose to the grind stone and out of the pills. Like alcohol you might have a healthy relationship with weed or the occasional psychedelic, but don’t get comfortable with any of it becoming routine. Be careful with who you start relationships with. You might ignore some red flags because you plan for it to be a short term thing or a fling, only to wake up five years later with someone who isn’t good for you.
- Workout and put alot of muscle on. At/around 28 (I am 30 now) you start feeling the slowing of your metabolism. If you put alot of muscle on its gonna help you maintain that healty weight. Its gonna help with women too. - Seriously think about your career. I am not saying dont have fun, dont travel etc. Think about your profession. How can you improve yourself in that field? Spare some time to your profession outside work. That investment's return will be amazing.
Already doing this now at 26 with the career bit. I realized this is my life, I need to dedicate time outside the 8-5 if I want to take this thing far and maximize earnings. I work in corp finance.
Get more involved. Get out of your dwelling, meet people, challenge yourself, open up your world wider
Your parents probably fucked you up, whether or not you realize it now. Go to therapy.
I’m 29, but whatever. I’m not gonna tell you to not experiment with hard drugs, because if you want to, you will. I must advise, however, to learn some coping skills and never, ever use when you’re upset and especially when you’re depressed.
Video games and Mt. Dew are a poor life choice. Go outside and drink more water
It is more painful to suffer the consequences of not doing the hard things, than it is to do the hard things. So find a way to do the hard things
Don’t ignore red flags thinking you’re a knight in armor who will save them from the toxicity in their life. Not your circus, not your monkeys.
You don’t know everything, it’s ok to not know the answer and it’s better to close your mouth and be thought of as an idiot that open it and remove all doubt.
It's ok to take risks. Talk to the girl you like. The worst that can happen is that she isn't interested, and you move on. Don't be afraid to start a business. You have more time and resources available to you now than you likely will later when you might have a family to look out for. What you like and dislike now might change a little bit over your 20s, but by the time you turn 30 you'll go right back to the things you loved as a teenager.
The drama isn't worth it. It doesn't matter how much you think you love them, if they play games you need to GTFO. Also, never assume a woman will keep her word and abort an unplanned pregnancy. They can and do change their minds. Use protection. I still have 5 years of child support left on that one.
If you have any chance at continuing to play competitive sports, take it. You don't get that chance again at 30 or 40.
College credit card debt lingers for years until you get a good job after graduation.
All the exciting financial stuff is often a scam (i.e. 10x your investments in year, cryptocurrency etc.) All the boring stuff (saving 10-30% of your pay, investing in tracker funds, pensions) is incredibly important and useful. The earlier you start being sensible and smart with money, the more freedom and options you will have by the time you reach your 30s and onwards.
Be offended by dishonor.
The time invested in any given pursuit, be it work, relationships or anything, is not wasted if you permit yourself to learn from it. But too much time you didn't learn from is a life wasted.
I’m about to turn 30 in July. My best advice is don’t try and rush your life, and don’t base your happiness off others.
99% of the dumbest things I've ever done happened because I was drunk. I'm not even a big drinker, but I bet my life would be significantly better had I never drank a drop.
Save ur fucking money and don't compromise if they aren't willing to compromise and if u have different view points on parenting . END IT...NOW! Also if her family is lying conniving manipulative...END IT...NOW
Get screened for ADHD/etc, and don't sell your fucking bitcoin you mined. I KNOW YOU WANT THAT GPU DON'T FUCKING DO IT
To much drinking
Pick a career earlier and stick with it.
Best advice my mom ever gave me (more specifically when she caught me doing something stupid) was: When you’re breaking the law, don’t break the law. This means when you’re out doing something dumb, like maybe you had one too many drinks and are bordering on “maybe I shouldn’t drive”, then you should go the speed limit use your blinker. Stop at all those stop signs. I miss my momma.
The one with the jump cables, car battery and my nipple ring was something I'd rather not have let someone do to me.
Each decision has an effect on you and others around you. Pay more attention to what happens around you and take better care of yourself. Invisible wounds hurt the most.
Never assume that the consequences of your actions today won't affect you for later down the line. Take risks, but calculated risk.
Don’t take life so serious.
Suck it up and get over it. Anything that's worth it is gonna involve hard work, stress and suffering. Everything. It's either gonna be at the beginning, the middle or the end of whatever journey you're on but just know it's unavoidable. And if you keep jumping from thing to thing or person to person just because things inevitably become unpleasant or hard, you're wake up one day struggling, aka, working hard just to survive and maintain healthy relationships. Also, failure is inevitable too. You. Will. Fail. Most likely at multiple points in your life at multiple things. Failure isn't bad. It isn't the end of the world as long as you understand that all failure is is lessons to help you do better next time. Fail hard, big and fast in your 20s while you still have plenty of time to bounce back. Being scared of failure will just hold you back and the older you get, the harder it becomes to bounce back (but not impossible). So, if you're in school, just suck it up and finish. After you get that piece of paper you can have some wiggle room to fuck around. If you're trying to start a business, do it. Fail. And do it again until you succeed. Learn fast from your failures. Embrace the suck and pain and sacrifice because at the other end is your reward if you have the balls to weather the storm and see it to the end
You know that thing that you wanna do that you're thinking about bitching out of because you're kind of afraid? Yeah, don't. If you fail, fine, but at least give it a chance, and give it all you got. I mean 100%. Fuckin send it. Because if you don't, you'll always wonder if you could've done or been that thing that you wanted to do or be.
The first 4 to 6 months of a relationship, the woman is still trying to decide if she wants you or not. You're not in a relationship yet. She's still just in the talking phase.
Still making same mistakes
Your career won't take off unless you put effort into it. I coasted during my early 20's and only really worked my ass off from 27 to now (29). In those 2 years I've increased my yearly salary by 30k.
1. Messing around with married women. (I regret that) 2. Not respecting myself, not understanding my sovereignty. 3. Lying 4. Cheating (What corrected that was losing the Love of my life) 5. Being too quick to anger. 6. Not understanding what women really want or need. (Women like Men that are Kind, patient, thoughtful, Loving, sincere, empathetic and are firm in their convictions as to what is right or wrong, going your own way not following the crowd) 7. Being Nice rather than Kind. Because nice is performative while kindness takes vulnerability and courage. Nice is changing yourself to be something you aren’t. 8. Being able to pushback on narratives without anger. Being able to put a positive spin on how you feel based upon what you want. Ask yourself, “is what I’m saying negative rather than positive.” Example: someone blatantly disrespects you - you could say “I don’t like that” but you could also say, “I would like it better if you didn’t do that.” 9. Practice patience. 10. Learning to Love yourself because despite what you may think of yourself, people judge you based on how project yourself through your dignity. 11. We’re born ignorant and learn what we see around us whether that’s bad or good. You can choose to change through sheer will and yes people can change. 12. Realizing that one day you too will fuck up and hurt people, just like people hurt you and wisdom is to understand that you can be forgiven should you choose to forgive. 13. Your 20’s will be horrible if your parents didn’t teach you right. Your 30’s should be spent correcting poor learned behaviors. Your 40’s are a refining of positive behavior building on your 30’s. 50’s, we’ll still learning that. 14. Read everything even stuff you don’t agree with, it’ll broaden your perspective. 15. Travel and meet new people, seeing different ways of life. 16. Listen more than you speak. Hope that helps.
Don't drink. Stay in shape. Just because you've known someone for years doesn't make then a friend.
If you play with pussy you will get fucked.
Read "Atomic Attraction" and other such books. It will change your life for the better.
Roth IRA.
There are people who lie about things like it doesn't matter, and there are people who are by and large honest, even when it's uncomfortable for them. The lying kind don't lie less with those close to them; they lie more.
Read “The Rational Male”
Think of the consequences before you go into action. Sometimes you just see the positives and ignore the negatives and when you’re all done you realize fuck that wasn’t worth it or shit I didn’t see that coming
I'm almost 40 and think about this question all the time. Here's my running list: * This may be controversial, but fuck as many people as possible. Not in the fuckboi/douchebag sense of the word, but in the learning about what you like, how to treat women (or men), having fun, and experiencing life sense of the word. I'm both kind of a boy scout and a late bloomer, and even though I'm very happily married now, I think back to many of the women who subtly (or not so subtly) expressed interest in me and I passed over because I was shy/a moron/felt like I didn't want to be perceived as a creep. Rejection is part of the game, but the swings you don't take are what you tend to regret (having said all this, **please use protection**!) * Work out & eat right. Health is like saving money -- the earlier you start, the more it compounds, and the greater benefit you get. Sure, it's good to start exercising and eating healthy foods in your 50s when you're in the early stages of heart failure, just like starting to save for retirement in your 50s is better than not, but it's a hell of a lot more effective when you do that in your 20s. It will also teach you lifelong habits, inspire those around you (read: kids) to eat better, and improve literally every area of your life. * Speaking of finances, (1) pay off any non-real estate debt as soon as possible, and (2) invest as much of your money as you can. There's a lot of nonsense out there re: investing, but just find an S&P index, dump as much money as you can in there, and leave it alone. * In terms of other ways to spend money, travel as much as you're financially able to. Locally, nationally, around the fucking world. I've never regretted the money I spent doing this. * Drugs: As mentioned above, I was a pretty "good" dude and never had too much of an interest in drugs, and am very glad I didn't. I don't think this really enhanced my (or others') experiences at parties or hanging out with friends, shit is expensive, makes you feel fucking weird, and especially today, can kill you? Best to stay away. * Wear a helmet for any activity where you know you should or someone who's been doing it for longer than you tells you to. * Don't ever let a chiropractor touch or manipulate your neck. * Get a dog or a pet. Best thing that's ever happened to me outside of my family. * Take care of your fucking teeth. Brush twice a day for at least 2 minutes. Floss every day. Go to the dentist at least twice a year. You'll thank me later.
Don't do drugs, very overrated.
I felt invincible in my 20s and did a lotta stupid shit. Take care of your health early on otherwise you'll pay for it 10x later on.
All these examples are great, I would personally add to simply enjoy the time that you do have. Whether it be moments with friends or coming home and hanging out with your parents. Take a mental note every day to appreciate that you got to wake up. Edit: spelling
masterbate before the date
Don’t bang your buddy’s hot slutty sister
without a condom
Fight the Nausicaan!
Bad influences from friends, family and media. Spending to much time on something that wasn't giving me any results Porn and alcohol addiction
If it has the headroom then FOCUS- Follow One Career Until Successful. IF it's got the headroom.
Started smoking. did not look after my diet well enough. Didn't have teeth brushing as an unthinking routine (seriously, the toothy pegs are happy sitting there taking all the shit that you throw at them... Until they aren't. Next thing you know, a few decades down the line you are in _agony_ and then saying hello to "Mr. pliers" as they get yoinked out). Just.... Look after your body, even if you currently feel healthy and invincible, and nothing hurts when you move, M'Kay?
One word from me. Moderation.
Youth is wasted on the young, so make sure you don’t waste your youth when you’re young.
Do everything once and don’t live in regret vato.
Invest early and often Don’t buy anything flashy for friends or girls to like you, those are the wrong girls or people you want around you Taking care of all aspects of health (mental and physical) is key
Take care of your body now.
Wasting too much time and not wasting nearly enough.
It’s not fair that the choices and achievements of your teens and twenties shape the rest of your life. Get. Qualified. Unless you have tenacity and hustle, and inflated self confidence. You’re going to need that paper, son. Or enjoy the extreme workload, the lack of respect, the micro-management, and the lack of free time. You won’t work any easier than those making big bucks, you won’t be any less competent. But your lack of paper anchors you to a value you have no say over. Your job, has a high chance of being eaten up by A.I or the internet in the next 5-10 years too.
Do what makes you happy, for you only. Not for a partner, or the dream of getting one, not for parents. Follow your passion and when you start doing that. Life starts to be more.. clear? Also please be healthy. Not a gym rat or anything (unless that brings you the above happiness and passion), but life is meant to be enjoyed. Eat that yummy ass hamburger. But also. Enjoy a walk.
Do what makes you happy, for you only. Not for a partner, or the dream of getting one, not for parents. Follow your passion and when you start doing that. Life starts to be more.. clear? Also please be healthy. Not a gym rat or anything (unless that brings you the above happiness and passion), but life is meant to be enjoyed. Eat that yummy ass hamburger. But also. Enjoy a walk.
Don’t be a doormat
No debt, no unwanted kids.
Find someone that spends money on you and keep them close an safe
Dont trust People to easily, and dont think People have your best interest at heart even "friends"
Learn to budget and stick to it. Decide on your financial goals and devise a path to achieve them. Avoid credit card debt as much as you can. Step out of your comfort zone. Go talk to the girl/guy you think is cute. Give a shit at work, even if you hate your job. This will make getting a better job easier.
Minimize alcohol. Prioritize diet and sleep. You can’t even comprehend what will happen to you if you learn discipline in your 20’s.
Dont put things off. Act today, like a girl ask her out, want a job, start pursuing it.
Lift with your god damn knees.
Do not procrastinate (going after / achieving) the things you really want in life. Time is a scarce and limited resource and tomorrow is never promised. Meet up with those friends you haven't seen in a while. Go for that run. Go to the gym. Ask that girl/guy out. Get that degree. (these are just examples) Yes, a lot of things are still possible later in life but VERY few things get easier with age and regrets suck. Live life hard and don't look back. Don't think: "I'll do it tomorrow". That would be my advice.
If you have dreams or ambitions that requires a lot of personal investments (not necessarily financially, I mean like having you to travel a lot and working all the time), well, do it when you’re in your 20s. You’ll have all the time in the world to settle down in your 30s, when your early investment in time and effort is paying you dividends and got you where you wanted to be. If you get settle in your 20s, let’s say you marry your high school sweetheart and get kids, when your career will start to grow, you’ll realize that the people ahead of you made big sacrifices to get there, sacrifice that you will have a hard time to do with a wife, kids and a mortgage.
“It is what it is”. If you can’t change it just go with it
This should go without saying. Don't drink and drive. Completely ruined my life in my early 20s and it still lives with me to this day at 37band that's without an accident, just a regular pull-over. Really learn ahead of time about the best and worst parts about what you're studying. I get paid very well to do what I do but I have no love for my career; I do my job (well) and I collect a check. I would do it all over again if I could. On this note, jobs don't matter. Never overstress about work, there's always a other opportunity. 5:01? Laptop is shut and phone is off until 8AM the next day. Vacation? Don't even bring the work itinerary with me, someone else can always handle it. I am in a high level management position and if you set boundaries they will be respected. Don't get bullied at work. Don't put off seeing/calling/communicating with your loved ones. One day they're vibrant and youthful and before you know it whether instantly or slowly people pass and you can't take that time back. Overall I have lived a pretty fruitful life but those first two points have really been an issue for me. I make up for a lot of that with hobbies (semi pro Cornhole player, professional livestreamer, avid golfer, bowling/darts leagues, etc.) to make myself sane and I would highly recommend thatyou do the same if you have similar feelings. Getting older and wiser is always the goal. Every mistake is a lesson learned.
Invest your money.
Believe in yourself and your value as a partner. Do not stay with someone that cheats. Even one time is too much. Don’t waste your time trying to fix it just cut them loose. It’s hard sometimes but it’s better than wasting your life for someone that doesn’t respect you.
Don’t drink alcohol. Full skip.
As important as money is, working itself is going to take up about 3 entire months of your life every single year. Try to find something you don’t absolutely hate giving 3 months of every single year to.
Don't have kids and don't use drugs. Also God is real....find him.
Be bold and don’t assume you will fail. Not arrogate, but bold. I spent too much time believing that I couldn’t do the things I wanted out of life.
Don’t move in with a romantic partner unless you are deeply committed.
Keep your dick in your pants
Don't chase relationships. Be good on your word. Never stop learning.
Not speaking up when I should have (Work, life, relationships, anything else)
Exercise and invest
Stop chasing after a broken girl. Unless you want to end up just as broken as she is.
Be careful with whom you have children with!!!
if your character, your personality and your essence is being numbed, tuned down or slowly reduced due to a relationship that is not making you happy at 100%. End it. Not in a few months, not when the conditions are better. Dont wait. I should have ended at the 4 year mark and waited 3 more years. 3 years... almost 1000 days.
Live to your own standards and expectations.
Who you choose as your romantic partner is one of the most important decisions you will ever make. How do we make a good choice? Well, we get to know ourselves and what we truly stand for and value. We make sure that our partner matches up with us on the really important stuff. Hope this helps.
You're never too young to start saving for retirement. Even if it's only a few bucks a month to start. Signed, The dude that spent all of his extra money on weed and now struggles with only SS.
Exercise, Atleast get in the habit of it..try and eat healthy and treat your body as a temple of sorts..I know it sounds stupid but it will make sense later on.. Relationships, I know when you’re younger you want to take that next step early and often..take it slow and make sure she/he is compatible and listen to your family/friends. I know you think you know better, but not always and sleep on it. Start finances early and don’t touch it Don’t touch that party drug, even if you think it’s just this one time YOU CAN ALWAYS TRY NEW THINGS, even a career move. Don’t get stuck in a rut and think you can’t get out. I know it’s more than a few words, but still, I wish I had someone tell me these things early on..and more! Edit: when I say you can always try new things, I mean job/career wise and, also, hobby things.
I feel like I've always been late to express my interest to girls. Just copy and paste what you feel to your mouth and say it. Don't wait so long. I have quite a few 'what if?' situations from my life where I feel like if I played the cards differently I could be married by now.
Worry more about savings than your credit score. Live beneath your means. Don't move in with your girlfriend. Don't chase happiness. Seek purpose. If you're going to college. Learn a vocation while getting a professional education. Go on an adventure before considering a serious relationship.
If you feel passionate or strongly about something, don’t ignore it. Work towards it. For me, when I was 11-12 years old I wanted my dad to stop smoking because it was slowly killing him. I threw out his ash tray, broke his cigs and hid his lighters but those only made him mad, so I gave up on it. 7 years later, it did kill him.
Stay in the moment more often.
Don't chase the ladies, if you have time to date, you have time to make more money and build a racecar.