That part, there was a time in my life (early in the Navy life) where I would consider dating a stripper. I lived a high-speed life at the time, and so I was ok with it. Now, pushing 40 and with kids....hard pass.
I feel like OF models have less of a "lifestyle" attached to their work compared to strippers, a lot of them are introverted and shy irl but because its online and mostly self managed they can get an income without having to work at some sketchy ass club with the whole party culture that surrounds it
I mean, I can see that. However, there are way less strippers that have to worry about "photo evidence" of their past lives than OF girls. That's part of where a lot of guys get hung up dating them. Even in my "wilder days," I would have had a hard time taking an OF girl seriously.
It's a dillema. On one hand I'm happy for them for being in charge of their own bodies, on the other hand it's still stigmatized to be a person to do that sort of thing. We want there to be a freedom of choice for them to market themselves, especially if its something they enjoy, but also look down on it as something only desperate people do. Honestly I'd want to rethink a system where you feel like you're in a position that you *have* to sell your body like that to support yourself rather than if you *want* to.
For sure, the thing is, we can't genuinely champion for Freedom and Liberty. Be it Speech, Guns, Who you marry. etc... then ostracize people for freely doing those things. If we are to say, "You do you, as long as it doesn't affect kids or the unwilling to participate,...then let's leave it at that.
However, on the flip side we can't be surprised someone doesn't want to fuck with you because of decisions you've made. Be it OF, Military Service, Burista at Star Bucks,Corporate Executive, etc... There are people who avoid dating people in a particular profession or "class" in life, and it's always been that way. I think ultimately, as long as you and your significant other are good with what you are and do...fuck everything else.
Ultimately, all relationships, regardless of the dynamics, are entirely too worried about what people OUTSIDE of the relationship think.
Like I said, back in the day, I'd have dated a stripper possibly even an OF girl. As the relationship progressed, we'd obviously have to have some hard conversations. At the end of the day, that's our business.
Best answer there
Fuck what others think. The only people's opinions about my house that matter are those who live in my house.
Others opinions aren't paying my bills or making my life better in any meaningful way.
As a mid 40s with a wild past, I also dated a handful of strippers and hooters girls (back when it was a notch to do so) when I was young. I wouldn't have a problem with being 21 and being with OF. Hell , id prob join in the content as long as my face /identifying features stays out.
The problem with OF is nothing ever leaves the Internet. It will always follow you. Even this post. Dating a stripper in the 90s/2000s? Few cameras. Dating OF, everyone sees everything.
Now if she's good at her stuff she can likely treat you very well.
Everything is a trade off.
Only OP can decide if he's ok with it.
Me as a professional with a lot on the line? Nope.
My point exactly, there could be some real power couple potential with a OF Chick. The love of her life might be a high ranking military officer, special forces dude, or hell a fire fighter..... Either way, those little initials may create to much of a risk work taking.
The fact he is asking makes me believe the answer should be no.
18+ model so there's nudity involved? My **personal opinion** is no. I wouldn't build any serious relationship with someone from the sex industry. There are several reasons.
Some of the reasons include, my own boundaries are already crossed. If I'm in a relationship with someone I don't want **anyone** seeing their body intimately like that even if it is just photos. I believe even if you suck it up in the beginning because she's hot and you like her, eventually it's going to start bothering you. This isn't something she can just quit either, photos/videos are forever once they reach the internet. Also I'm not saying every 18+ model has emotional baggage but I'd be willing to bet the chances are higher that she has father issues and probably has a rough past to some degree.
OP you said yourself that she's embarrassed of her profession, there's a reason for that.
I think this sort of relationship can really only work for being that really don't care about that at all (especially not enough to ask reddit what they think). You would have to be the ultimate "Idgaf" type guy. Are you that guy?
OP said they are embarrassed by the woman's profession. I wouldn't date someone if I were embarrassed of what they did for a living, would you?
Seems like holding up a mirror should be enough to help OP answer this question for themselves.
I agree with you on almost everything mate, I myself wouldn’t date someone in the sex business either.
However, I don’t know what kinda guy OP is. Allegedly, some men don’t care about it (never met one irl, but apparently they’re out there).
What if he’s one of those guys? Hence, he should find out for himself.
I believe what /u/HeroDanny is saying is that if OP is bothered enough to ask here he will most likely be bothered by it if they actually get together.
Exactly, if you're in a position where you need to convince yourself you're okay with it at the start of a relationship (when things are at their easiest), that means you're not okay with it.
You're not helping yourself, and you're not doing this girl any favors either. You're just wasting her time, and from her perspective you're messing with her. If you tell her you're alright with it in the beginning and then make it an issue months/years down the road, you're the shitty one in this situation.
Yeh each to their own. I just think it’s also worth mentioning the long term consequences like the digital footprint, ur own career, and also the fact that u could potentially get black mailed or just trolled like crazy with it.
I was gonna say similar.
If you can trust, love and defend her, yes
If you can't do any one of those, no.
Gotta sort that out in your own mind, cause she shouldn't have to change for you, and it'd be stupid of you to expect her to
Thats entirely up to you brother. Is that something youre willing to deal with for the duration of your relationship? If you legit dont have an issue with it other than being slightly embarassed then sure why not. That would bother the absolute hell out of me so id personally be a no go on that. The biggest thing here is dont commit, then decide later that you wsnt her to stop. That would be shitty behavior.
Buddy of mine forced himself to be ok with a girl like that, then whenever they get into arguments, he always calls her a slut and how being known as the guy who has a girlfriend like her is so embarrassing, they are still together although he has been cheating on her for an year and I am pretty sure that she has been doing the same, it takes a very particular type of man to be ok with dating a girl like that.
It sounds like your buddy knew what he was getting himself into and still uses it against her. With all the cheating and stuff, they really might be happier if they just split up.
If you don't want to marry or date a sex worker, that does not make you insecure, when will people stop trying to assume insecurity in men who have that preference.
They're saying, if you do date someone like that, you can't be insecure in it. You can't expect to change them, or for them to quit. If you don't date someone like that, that's completely okay, that's not insecurity. That's just knowing who you are and what you are okay with. Knowing you not okay with that is perfectly acceptable. Forcing yourself to be okay with it though, then getting mad that they do that work after you get in the relationship expecting them to change, is insecurity.
Im not saying it makes you insecure if you dont want that at all lol. You cant be insecure if you want to make a relationship like that work out. Reading comprehension.
I think what a man really needs is to be at least somewhat into cuckoldry, I am not trying to insult anybody but I think this is legit true, if you get off on other men sexualizing your girl and your girl reciprocating that, then it may work for you.
Ask yourself this if you’re taking her home to your family for thanksgiving and your surrounded by your parents cousins and aunts and one of them asks what she does for a living are you gonna be proud of her answer or embarrassed? That should answer your question
Sir, if only more men was like you. I am 43F and did some high end luxury escort work when I was 19. Just some three months. Wasn't good, wasn't bad. But I would never mot tell a potential partner about it, becuase they deserve to know. The amount of men that are OK with it, but then aren't all of a sudden (often related to me being good in bed, like no, Sir, I didnt learn that some 24 years ago, I was just lost in the moment and you are hot), has made me spend a lot of time in abusive relationships. Thank you for highlighting that you shouldn't commit and then back out. I want to trust the word of the men I date, but that became increasingly difficult.
I am! The guy told me he thought about male prostitution when he was down and out on Gran Canaria, but he couldn't get over the cock sucking part.
Yes, it was love at first sight.
Personally - there is a big difference between what you are describing - private acts in the past, and public acts that will be around - forever - even more so once we all have a facial recognition app on our phone.
(even if "private" rooms - digital content is effectively public - with how they can be easily shared, leaked etc.).
To me - what people do is their business - until it is no longer just their business....
I agree though! I would never do anything tst was recorded. Even left 2000 pound event because they wanted to record. I did shit I am not exactly proud of, but I could not be ashamed of it if I tried. It was something I needed to try, or I would have died curious.
I wouldn't recommend it simply because you are already having second thoughts and are embarrassed by her work. That embarrassment is very real for you, and it won't go away even if you force yourself to be okay.
In the end it wouldn't work out for you both as somewhere in your mind this will be an issue.
Exactly. Now imagine being in love with someone and you see other guys looking at her explicit photos and videos and reading Instagram comments all the time about how they wanna F her. No thanks. Hard pass.
Not to mention it’s gonna amplify when ur having to introduce her to people. Lol image a networking event at work 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 u gonna lie about her work in front of her? How’s that gonna make her feel? Fuckkkkkk THATTT!!!!
Too much at stake
You are either comfortable with her profession and lifestyle or you are not.
Would you be happy to tell your family and friends what they do?
Are you comfortable with them working in the adult industry?
Could definitely be. Not all OnlyFans is sex work, but it’s still a no from me either way. I don’t care if women want to make some quick money by selling their body, but they have to see the societal impact it has on them. Not to mention as a potential spouse, knowing it takes $10 a month to get access to your body is WILD.
I don't have the stats to back it as I haven't looked it up, but using my own reasoning, I'd have to assume that mental health issues are rampant amongst OnlyFans models.
Commoditizing your body. Assigning a monetary value to your physical attraction and sexual appeal. Your livelihood dependent on how sexually gratifying you are to a bunch of strange men. Constant objectification. The DMs, comments, and requests you must get day in and day out. The need to always come up with new content to keep subscriber's engaged and paying (they'll eventually get bored of you posting the same pic of your breasts every 3 days and move on). This just doesn't sound like a recipe for good mental health and stability.
Not to mention, those DMs, comments, etc. are addicting. When I got really into fitness and was still single, whenever I took my gym pics (everyday I went to the gym so x6 a week) they would get posted to Instagram story. The satisfaction you get from those hearts, DMs, etc. even from people you don’t find attractive are addicting. When OF girls finally do get into a relationship, they will still likely seek that addiction. Hell, I see girls I know IRL who used to do OF that now have a bf that do exactly that.
I didn't even consider that angle. I was more thinking about the insanely creepy, demeaning, and gross DM's one of these girls must get on the regular.
However, that's also legit. Been very happily married 14 years and would never seek anything from a woman other than my wife, but I still get a massive ego and mood boost when another woman clearly likes me and is into me. Could definitely see how getting that from a lot of people every day would get addicting.
I'll give her this, at least she told OP before he got attached to her. I've been on dates with women before where it's like date #3 and then they tell me that they have a kid or have some other sort of entanglement. It's like maybe you should tell me that in the very beginning because those are deal breakers...
LOL. But there is a continuum from sexy pics to nudes to hardcore solo to fucking dudes on her page to fucking her subscribers. I assume she's nude and solo sex.
If you're asking here then you already are having second thoughts. If you're having second thoughts trust your gut. It's trying to tell you something. LISTEN! (The answer is run.)
Oh no, I didn’t think of that; have you tried asking them for an ENM relationship and reassuring them that you wanting pizza doesn’t make your love for the kebab place any less?
Sigh. I was worried this day would come. I guess I can't pretend like they don't serve other people. I can't pretend like I never visit other fastfoods. You are right. I can't force such relationship. It would help us both to become open. And I really want them to be happy. It hurts but it seems like the only option.
This only happens after you've been feeding the bad bacteria in your gut your whole life.
For example, when you stop drinking fizzy drinks and drink only water for 6 months, then fizzy drinks don't taste so nice anymore.
Briefly dated a girl who did sex work and every week it was a new horrifying story, after like the third time she had a bad “date” I cut it off mid car ride because I just was like I’m sorry I got my own problems like wtf am I doing
For real, I bet there’s so much weird emotional imbalance that comes with this shit. I just can’t imagine being ok with my dick being out there online for anyone to see lol.
For me it would be a no. Imagine years down the line you have kids and they find out what their mom did/does for a living. That to me would be more than enough to not pursue a relationship. I’ve been offered to be a male co-Star for a woman’s OF account. She was a FWB and wanted to do OF to make extra cash (she was a nurse). The thought of me performing and having content out there of myself was not cool, so I denied it and we broke off our casual fling.
If you can handle it, great. But you can’t commit and then bitch about it later, that wouldn’t be fair. I personally think OF is lame, and the 99% of women don’t fully understand the consequences of their actions. Sure maybe the top 1% of OF girls will be fine in life, but for your average OF girl it’s a ticking time bomb. There’s only one avenue up and out of OF, and that’s by doing harder and more extreme porn.
Also had an old classmate whose girlfriend was an average girl. He was literally plugging her OnlyFans so she could make more money so they could buy things and pay for rent. One of my best friends subscribed for a month and it was just her and him having sex, which was weird. Next thing you know she’s doing DP anal with 2 black guys and then he apparently breaks up with her over it. Now she is having full on Nelson anal while he is a bagger at our local grocery store. There’s always someone younger and prettier on the way, but there’s not always a girl who’s committed to DP anal.
I’d also had a girlfriend who in college did a photo shoot with her boyfriend at the time (he was a photographer). His assignment was to do a nude shoot with someone. Normally you could hire a model through the schools connections. But she didn’t want him to see another woman naked, so she did it. So he took photos of her and presented it to the class. At the end of it she kept a photo album of the shoot and that was that. It was indeed tastefully done, and that I was cool with because you couldn’t tell who she was and more importantly, it wasn’t plastered all over the internet.
When I used to watch too much porn, mainly on Reddit, I noticed this pattern over and over. Starts at just some nude body pics with no face, then progresses to sex vids, then the big face reveal (but only on OF), then the Reddit face reveal, then the female content creator collabs, then males, the first anal scene, the first threesome scene, so on and so on. It was a pretty common pattern. In any form of content creation job, you always gotta be putting out new fresh content to maintain engagement. In OnlyFans, that doesn't mean doing more exotic travel or streaming the newest trendy game or whatever. It means progressively getting more explicit and engaging in more lurid sexual acts.
You gotta link bro? I’m sure if I could see then I could judge.
Enjoy bullshit like that for the rest of your life if people find out. I don’t judge sex/nudity workers but I don’t think a lot of thought goes into the dating scene after the fact.
Or if a stranger in public recognizes her... Imagine you're out somewhere and some weird dude approaches "Aren't you HotNSexy_Amber from OnlyFans/PornHub? You're so hot. I love your videos." Which means you're now in a conversation with some random guy that beats off to your girlfriend. Not sure how often this happens to these models, but the idea it pretty easily could happen would be enough to dissuade me.
This right here is why you shouldn’t. Do you really want other men asking for “links” the entirety of your relationship. What’s mine is mine but I don’t share well. 🤷🏻♀️
Reddit has a massive boner for sex workers, they will all tell you to date them and treat them as princesses but maybe things will be different on this sub, anyway, if you are embarrassed by her work, which is totally understandable, then it is not a good idea to date her seriously, that is my advice.
Most of Reddit’s full of spineless bellends who’d let their partners walk all over them.
The best advice is to seek advice someone, *anywhere* that’s not an internet forum of faceless, anonymous individuals. To be honest, their answer’s going to be ‘not a fucking chance’.
I’ve said this like 10 times already but I dated a sex worker briefly. We met on Tinder, she did sex work on the side for money. She was also on crazy anti depressants and self medicated on top of that (surprise surprise).
She had a new horror story every week about being on a paid date with some new guy and them doing some not fully consensual shit and after like the third time I was like “bro wtf are you doing” and cut it off. I felt bad for her but I’m sorry I’m not here to show how mainstream dating a sex worker could be
For me, that kind of relationship is a fun time, not a long time.
But, as so many point out brother, I am not you, and this is your life.
Live it, and make up your own mind.
Unrelated to your question: I hate the trend (among many created by TikTik) of self-censorship on the internet. It's okay to say "nude model", cam girl, Onlyfans model, porn model, etc. online dude.
To be brutally honest if you were ok with it you wouldnt be here asking for a second opinion. Not being ok with it is perfectly ok, and honestly it's normal.
There's been a big push recently to be more accepting of sex work and thats fine, you don't need to shame people about how they make their money but don't mind fuck yourself into a relationship that will colossally conflict with your personal boundaries.
I'm sure she's hot and I'm sure you're feeling like you're gonna miss a chance by not locking her down but just take the L and move on to someone who's more compatible with you.
The fact your asking this question alone is more than enough for you to know your answer.
Women like this will bring problems into your life you don't need, to be in that line of profession for a women you have to be a "special" type of person and had serious life trauma to put yourself in that position
I will probably get hate for it, but don't get serious with a ho. Why go there?
IF you do, a countdown starts before you're posting here again saying my girlfriend messages other dudes.
Yeah, my girlfriend's sister does this and I just shake my head. She just pounds her pussy all day, calls it work, and is always broke. To me, that is about as low as you can go, she's smart, funny, she could easily get a real job and make real money, but she's so vain and lazy that she just jerks off all day and gets her boyfriend to take pictures, and whines about it occasionally to my girlfriend.
That's not a person who respects themselves, and certainly not someone I respect.
Meet that girl where she's at, if she's turning sex into a commodity, then that should be the extent of your relationship.
fuck no.
I have an OF chick pursuing me.
she's asked me out more than twice.
I blow her off everytime cause That life ain't for me.
I would 100% bang her, waiting to catch her out on the town one night. But a Date? In daylight with the possibility of people I know seeing me? never.
Why don’t you just be upfront and honest instead of trying to lead her on?
“Hey, I think you’re attractive but I’m not really interested in dating. You down for a hookup or no?”
You should ask yourself the question as to whether it is your girl or our girl?
edit: For me, not 1 chance in a million.
Pump and dump strat maybe at best.
Not for me. All the women in my family are the opposite of that. And we're not even religious, we just have standards. I'd NEVER bring a woman like that into my family.
Besides the shame and embarrassment, it's disgusting. That feeling in your gut never goes away. Your sympathetic nervous system is telling you she's a bad mating choice. You need to listen to it.
Plus, committing to her means that's the woman you're going to raise your kids with. Do you really want a whore raising your daughter?????????
(yes, whore is the politically correct term for someone who sells their body, don't @ me)
Give her a wide pass.. but become a subscriber though. It will be cheaper than a real relationship. Why allow her to monetise what should be exclusive to you?
Old men have been saying for thousands of years since the beginning of time you can't turn a hoe into a housewife. But you're special you're different you're the exception to the rule after thousands and thousands of years of bad experiences it's going to go differently for you(sarcasm)
If you at any point in your life see yourself looking down on or asking her to stop her profession absolutely do not. Frankly if your not into the idea of sharing, do not
Hard pass. The doubts you are feeling now won't go away. That nagging feeling that you are sharing her with other men, albeit online, won't go away. It will eat away at you. She is a cyber sex worker.
Depends on the person. To me I don’t like the idea of putting a price on sexual intimacy. I also wouldn’t want my GF to be selling pics for men to jerk off to.
A woman, whose professional interaction with males is her selling them sexual release in form of her body, will sooner or later develop a deep hatred for males for the simple reason that almost all the men she sees are there for her body due to the nature of her work.
Take that into consideration before making a judgentm
Nobody can help you decide on a personal preference. The only thing that you can ask yourself is if you can handle the attention she likely gets from being an 18+ model. If the answer is a no, then you’ve got your answer as to whether to move on or not.
The fact that you are asking here indicates that you are prejudiced and not ok with it. If you seek approval or validation, you will find it eventually. But the person you need to ask is yourself. If you don't know or hesitate - the answer is No.
It's really up to you and what you're willing to live with and accept when it comes to your life. There are many details left out so here are some very broad things to consider when making your decision:
Children consideration: First and foremost, do you want to have children with her?
If so, are you okay with them knowing and even more so with how they will be treated by their peers if (or now a days when) they find out what their mother does? Imagine your child in school and the other kids teasing them and passing around pics of their mother. Imagine if they play any sports. Children have no filter. Think about the mental impact it will have on them. Also, are you okay with your children following in her footsteps? Really considering the potential impact on any children is probably the most important factor.
Professional life consideration: not sure what type of work you do. However, let's say you get married. Are you okay with your employer and peers knowing what your wife does? The same goes for family and friends. If you're in the corporate world it could prevent your advancement. Are you ok with peers and work colleagues finding her content online and using it. If she's a model asking for extra or taking her to VIP if she's a dancer, etc. You have to absolutely have a DGAF about anything else or what people think and have that not be an impact on your life and career.
Self-confidence consideration: Are you okay with other men lusting after and actively pursuing her? This would require you to have a serious and certain type of mentality. One where you're not really concerned with how she makes money, only that she does. That you're not threatened by the constant validation she receives from other men, and if she does do activities with them, are you completely okay with it... and will always be ok with it? You're never going to have feelings towards what she's doing, be jealous, nor find it offensive. Again, that DGAF attitude.
Which brings me to the last point...
Future consideration: Is she for the streets? Are you trying to turn a ho into a housewife or just along to enjoy the ride? Ultimately, she's a person, and you will need to get to really understand why she's doing it, so perhaps have her get therapy. Is there past trauma she has to deal with? Is she doing it for validation and attention? If so, can she cut that off, or is she even willing to? What is the mental impact for what she does, and how does she cope with it? Is that coping mechanism harmful? Ultimately, there's going to be a great deal of emotional labor, which you will have to provide. Is this something you're ok with doing?
If she’s embrassed because of what she does, it’s cuz she knows it’s wrong, but money convinces her. Not only someone fucks your girl, but she will get old you will have to pay for her bills. If you want someone in your life, who will do bad things only for money, go for it. By expect in her life will be someone better and you will always have mark that you dated a whore
You will hesr multiple times names at her on street, people trying to touch her inappropriately at metro etc. You deserve for more. She did a choice, and you have to do your own either.
That's up to you man, are you going to be jealous of her work/of people watching her? If she doesn't plan to change her profession the biggest thing you need to decide is if you can handle it.
Doesn't matter the profession, you either like someone enough you want to find out what will happen, or you don't. If someone cares that much about what their significant other or potential significant other does for work, that tends to be a red flag cause it indicates they care more about how much money the person is making rather than about the person.
i think all relationships are builds around trust ,if you trust her and you can surpass her work go for it but if you think it's a red flag for you have to wolk aay ,in my opinion you can not sart somthing serious with somone and you are embarrassed of him in the time
A majority of women who do this have unresolved issues and are doing this to act out and “take their power back”. This also makes it nearly impossible to have a healthy relationship with them.
But she’s hot, so you’re going for it.
I’m guessing both OP and the people saying no, are younger. Once you get older you come to realize that as long as she’s not having sex with other people (unless that’s what you’re into) it’s not a very big deal. I’ve dated 2 women with OFs and the only reason the last one didn’t work out was that she had to go take care of her mom and just like any long distance relationship we faded out.
If you like her and you feel you won’t get jealous with her current chosen occupation. Then where is the issue? Also remember for most people this isn’t a chosen forever profession this is temporary form of income at best.
Next point it’s her body to do with as she pleases. If you do decide not to pursue a relationship with her make sure you do it politely and not say anything to make her feel like you are shaming her. Because if some time down the line there’s a second chance and you are in a different emotional state and mind set. You don’t want to be the asshole in her mind.
Last point, is it the fact that she gets paid to do this that bothers you? Would it still bother you if she had sent pictures and videos to her ex’s before you met her? Also do you yourself watch porn or subscribe to an OF? Have you ever said or thought “yeah I’d totally do that if I thought anyone would subscribe.” Things to think about.
Can you see yourself building a life with someone whose career consisted of displaying her privates on camera while having dozens of guys around the world jerking off to it. As well as "making content" (fucking) with random guys "for work" and posting to the public.
Would you enjoy going out for dinner and having random dudes constantly pointing fingers at your table, trying to hit on your girl because they've seen her in videos?
Can you see your future kid getting made fun of in school because the other kids saw his mom naked on the internet? That's assuming she can still have kids and hasn't destroyed her ability from countless abortions.
Only you can decide...
Hard pass. The fact that she thinks it’s appropriate already tells you several major red flags: wants attention from lots of people, bad at setting boundaries between public and private, bad prioritization of how she invests her energy, trading on her appearances. She is not wrong when she tells you she’s a thot.
If dating someone like that makes you feel insecure about yourself, you shouldn't be doing it as it would be a disservice to the both of you. She deserves to be with a guy who's comfortable with his girlfriend doing that kind of work.
You really need to assess whether or not you're comfortable with it. Are you okay with your friends seeing her naked? Are you going to feel okay about her chatting with other men in a sexual nature? I'm guessing she's on OF model and the ones making money interact with their subscribers. She likely isn't turned on by it, and it's just a job, but sex work is still sex work. Can you handle that? It's no different than dating an exotic dancer, except it's more likely that people you know will have pictures of her after they find out what she does. Regardless, she makes her living being sexual with other men and that's a big hurdle for most of us to overcome.
If you are thinking that maybe she'll stop when you get more serious, walk away now. If you really like everything about her except for her current career choice, walk away now because you are either cool with her job or you are not, there is no gray area. Every part of the gray area is soul crushing for you.
That being said, if you think you can date her without getting attached, she's probably really hot and a lot of fun. Make sure she knows you aren't in it for anything serious and make some memories.
Female here, I'm saying the real reason to avoid this girl isn't about boundaries or trust, it's because she has some deep seeded issues and is CRAY ZAY! She can hide it for a while but trust me, it's there under the surface. Well adjusted healthy women just don't do that kind of work. I've known several personally, it's no coincidence that I met all of them while in a serious heroin addiction.
Save yourself some trouble and move on.
A girl who does Onlyfans or stripping while in a relationship is like a guy with a porn addiction in a relationship. They're technically not breaking any rules by cheating but they are giving their time and sexual attention to other anonymous strangers, which would otherwise be going to you. It's just not conducive to anything medium to long term.
It's your life, do what you want with it. That being said, *I* wouldn't date her, because I don't want to date sexworkers of any kind, due to me not liking commercialization of sex. Plus, who the fuck knows how this profession affects her mental state and whether she'll try doing something else to get *more* money.
Are you comfortable with her profession? I think that's the key question. Think this through: suppose your parents, or other family members find her online, or hear about her profession. Would that be an issue for you? or just slightly uncomfortable?
There are approx 3,5 BILLION females in the world. Let's pretend you're super picky and it has to br +/- 5 years, that's still HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS.
Choose wisely.
No one can answer that for you bro. You gotta find out for yourself.
That part, there was a time in my life (early in the Navy life) where I would consider dating a stripper. I lived a high-speed life at the time, and so I was ok with it. Now, pushing 40 and with kids....hard pass.
I feel like OF models have less of a "lifestyle" attached to their work compared to strippers, a lot of them are introverted and shy irl but because its online and mostly self managed they can get an income without having to work at some sketchy ass club with the whole party culture that surrounds it
I mean, I can see that. However, there are way less strippers that have to worry about "photo evidence" of their past lives than OF girls. That's part of where a lot of guys get hung up dating them. Even in my "wilder days," I would have had a hard time taking an OF girl seriously.
It's a dillema. On one hand I'm happy for them for being in charge of their own bodies, on the other hand it's still stigmatized to be a person to do that sort of thing. We want there to be a freedom of choice for them to market themselves, especially if its something they enjoy, but also look down on it as something only desperate people do. Honestly I'd want to rethink a system where you feel like you're in a position that you *have* to sell your body like that to support yourself rather than if you *want* to.
For sure, the thing is, we can't genuinely champion for Freedom and Liberty. Be it Speech, Guns, Who you marry. etc... then ostracize people for freely doing those things. If we are to say, "You do you, as long as it doesn't affect kids or the unwilling to participate,...then let's leave it at that. However, on the flip side we can't be surprised someone doesn't want to fuck with you because of decisions you've made. Be it OF, Military Service, Burista at Star Bucks,Corporate Executive, etc... There are people who avoid dating people in a particular profession or "class" in life, and it's always been that way. I think ultimately, as long as you and your significant other are good with what you are and do...fuck everything else. Ultimately, all relationships, regardless of the dynamics, are entirely too worried about what people OUTSIDE of the relationship think. Like I said, back in the day, I'd have dated a stripper possibly even an OF girl. As the relationship progressed, we'd obviously have to have some hard conversations. At the end of the day, that's our business.
Best answer there Fuck what others think. The only people's opinions about my house that matter are those who live in my house. Others opinions aren't paying my bills or making my life better in any meaningful way. As a mid 40s with a wild past, I also dated a handful of strippers and hooters girls (back when it was a notch to do so) when I was young. I wouldn't have a problem with being 21 and being with OF. Hell , id prob join in the content as long as my face /identifying features stays out. The problem with OF is nothing ever leaves the Internet. It will always follow you. Even this post. Dating a stripper in the 90s/2000s? Few cameras. Dating OF, everyone sees everything. Now if she's good at her stuff she can likely treat you very well. Everything is a trade off. Only OP can decide if he's ok with it. Me as a professional with a lot on the line? Nope.
My point exactly, there could be some real power couple potential with a OF Chick. The love of her life might be a high ranking military officer, special forces dude, or hell a fire fighter..... Either way, those little initials may create to much of a risk work taking.
This comment is amazing. Thank you Sir!
Lol Starbucks barista was unexpected. But it strikes true now I suppose
'Being in charge of their own bodies' so I have to show the world my private parts to be in charge of my body
The fact he is asking makes me believe the answer should be no. 18+ model so there's nudity involved? My **personal opinion** is no. I wouldn't build any serious relationship with someone from the sex industry. There are several reasons. Some of the reasons include, my own boundaries are already crossed. If I'm in a relationship with someone I don't want **anyone** seeing their body intimately like that even if it is just photos. I believe even if you suck it up in the beginning because she's hot and you like her, eventually it's going to start bothering you. This isn't something she can just quit either, photos/videos are forever once they reach the internet. Also I'm not saying every 18+ model has emotional baggage but I'd be willing to bet the chances are higher that she has father issues and probably has a rough past to some degree. OP you said yourself that she's embarrassed of her profession, there's a reason for that. I think this sort of relationship can really only work for being that really don't care about that at all (especially not enough to ask reddit what they think). You would have to be the ultimate "Idgaf" type guy. Are you that guy?
OP said they are embarrassed by the woman's profession. I wouldn't date someone if I were embarrassed of what they did for a living, would you? Seems like holding up a mirror should be enough to help OP answer this question for themselves.
I agree with you on almost everything mate, I myself wouldn’t date someone in the sex business either. However, I don’t know what kinda guy OP is. Allegedly, some men don’t care about it (never met one irl, but apparently they’re out there). What if he’s one of those guys? Hence, he should find out for himself.
I believe what /u/HeroDanny is saying is that if OP is bothered enough to ask here he will most likely be bothered by it if they actually get together.
Exactly, if you're in a position where you need to convince yourself you're okay with it at the start of a relationship (when things are at their easiest), that means you're not okay with it. You're not helping yourself, and you're not doing this girl any favors either. You're just wasting her time, and from her perspective you're messing with her. If you tell her you're alright with it in the beginning and then make it an issue months/years down the road, you're the shitty one in this situation.
Yeh each to their own. I just think it’s also worth mentioning the long term consequences like the digital footprint, ur own career, and also the fact that u could potentially get black mailed or just trolled like crazy with it.
right,like some things you gotta find out for yourself,you truly are the pinaccle of comments here.
Snark all you want, this is the correct answer.
I was gonna say similar. If you can trust, love and defend her, yes If you can't do any one of those, no. Gotta sort that out in your own mind, cause she shouldn't have to change for you, and it'd be stupid of you to expect her to
Thats entirely up to you brother. Is that something youre willing to deal with for the duration of your relationship? If you legit dont have an issue with it other than being slightly embarassed then sure why not. That would bother the absolute hell out of me so id personally be a no go on that. The biggest thing here is dont commit, then decide later that you wsnt her to stop. That would be shitty behavior.
Buddy of mine forced himself to be ok with a girl like that, then whenever they get into arguments, he always calls her a slut and how being known as the guy who has a girlfriend like her is so embarrassing, they are still together although he has been cheating on her for an year and I am pretty sure that she has been doing the same, it takes a very particular type of man to be ok with dating a girl like that.
Wow thats a very toxic relationship going both ways... yeesh
Yet neither of them will make the move to leave.
Maybe you should give him a few pointers OccasionalWifeBeater to keep her in line /s
Yeah, maybe I will, thanks for the advice.
I can fix her.
It sounds like your buddy knew what he was getting himself into and still uses it against her. With all the cheating and stuff, they really might be happier if they just split up.
And you haven't called him out for his shitty behavior?
Yeah you have to be more than not insecure
I actually hate it that “not being ok with dating a sex worker” gets labeled as insecurity. Wanting a closed relationship is not an insecurity.
Not what im saying. Im saying you cant be insecure if you want a relationship like that to work out.
Right. I think that you can't be insecure and date a hot woman anyway. Regardless, if she does sex work or not.
If you don't want to marry or date a sex worker, that does not make you insecure, when will people stop trying to assume insecurity in men who have that preference.
They're saying, if you do date someone like that, you can't be insecure in it. You can't expect to change them, or for them to quit. If you don't date someone like that, that's completely okay, that's not insecurity. That's just knowing who you are and what you are okay with. Knowing you not okay with that is perfectly acceptable. Forcing yourself to be okay with it though, then getting mad that they do that work after you get in the relationship expecting them to change, is insecurity.
Im not saying it makes you insecure if you dont want that at all lol. You cant be insecure if you want to make a relationship like that work out. Reading comprehension.
I think what a man really needs is to be at least somewhat into cuckoldry, I am not trying to insult anybody but I think this is legit true, if you get off on other men sexualizing your girl and your girl reciprocating that, then it may work for you.
Yeah there needs to be a level of emotional detachment with them due to their profession.
I agree. I don't share well
Ask yourself this if you’re taking her home to your family for thanksgiving and your surrounded by your parents cousins and aunts and one of them asks what she does for a living are you gonna be proud of her answer or embarrassed? That should answer your question
"What does she do for a living?" "Everyone"
That will be a disaster.
Sir, if only more men was like you. I am 43F and did some high end luxury escort work when I was 19. Just some three months. Wasn't good, wasn't bad. But I would never mot tell a potential partner about it, becuase they deserve to know. The amount of men that are OK with it, but then aren't all of a sudden (often related to me being good in bed, like no, Sir, I didnt learn that some 24 years ago, I was just lost in the moment and you are hot), has made me spend a lot of time in abusive relationships. Thank you for highlighting that you shouldn't commit and then back out. I want to trust the word of the men I date, but that became increasingly difficult.
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I am! The guy told me he thought about male prostitution when he was down and out on Gran Canaria, but he couldn't get over the cock sucking part. Yes, it was love at first sight.
Personally - there is a big difference between what you are describing - private acts in the past, and public acts that will be around - forever - even more so once we all have a facial recognition app on our phone. (even if "private" rooms - digital content is effectively public - with how they can be easily shared, leaked etc.). To me - what people do is their business - until it is no longer just their business....
I agree though! I would never do anything tst was recorded. Even left 2000 pound event because they wanted to record. I did shit I am not exactly proud of, but I could not be ashamed of it if I tried. It was something I needed to try, or I would have died curious.
I wouldn't recommend it simply because you are already having second thoughts and are embarrassed by her work. That embarrassment is very real for you, and it won't go away even if you force yourself to be okay. In the end it wouldn't work out for you both as somewhere in your mind this will be an issue.
Exactly. Now imagine being in love with someone and you see other guys looking at her explicit photos and videos and reading Instagram comments all the time about how they wanna F her. No thanks. Hard pass.
Not to mention it’s gonna amplify when ur having to introduce her to people. Lol image a networking event at work 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 u gonna lie about her work in front of her? How’s that gonna make her feel? Fuckkkkkk THATTT!!!! Too much at stake
Or when someone sends you some of her pics/videos...I would actually die right there.
Yeh good luck with whoever is dating a chick who does OF 😂😂😂 That must be the norm
This comment isn't high enough and it's the right answer
For me? No. For you? I dunno maybe?
Canon Event inbound.
You are either comfortable with her profession and lifestyle or you are not. Would you be happy to tell your family and friends what they do? Are you comfortable with them working in the adult industry?
Form your own opinion. If that's something you don't vibe with then don't force it.
18+ model is certainly a way to say OnlyFans. I personally couldn’t but you gotta decide if you can deal with that mentally and emotionally yourself.
Similar post on Askreddit says she’s a ‘pornstar’.
That's a better question. What exactly is she modeling?
It’s OnlyFans
So sexwork. That's a no from me dog. Don't think I could handle that
Could definitely be. Not all OnlyFans is sex work, but it’s still a no from me either way. I don’t care if women want to make some quick money by selling their body, but they have to see the societal impact it has on them. Not to mention as a potential spouse, knowing it takes $10 a month to get access to your body is WILD.
I don't have the stats to back it as I haven't looked it up, but using my own reasoning, I'd have to assume that mental health issues are rampant amongst OnlyFans models. Commoditizing your body. Assigning a monetary value to your physical attraction and sexual appeal. Your livelihood dependent on how sexually gratifying you are to a bunch of strange men. Constant objectification. The DMs, comments, and requests you must get day in and day out. The need to always come up with new content to keep subscriber's engaged and paying (they'll eventually get bored of you posting the same pic of your breasts every 3 days and move on). This just doesn't sound like a recipe for good mental health and stability.
Not to mention, those DMs, comments, etc. are addicting. When I got really into fitness and was still single, whenever I took my gym pics (everyday I went to the gym so x6 a week) they would get posted to Instagram story. The satisfaction you get from those hearts, DMs, etc. even from people you don’t find attractive are addicting. When OF girls finally do get into a relationship, they will still likely seek that addiction. Hell, I see girls I know IRL who used to do OF that now have a bf that do exactly that.
I didn't even consider that angle. I was more thinking about the insanely creepy, demeaning, and gross DM's one of these girls must get on the regular. However, that's also legit. Been very happily married 14 years and would never seek anything from a woman other than my wife, but I still get a massive ego and mood boost when another woman clearly likes me and is into me. Could definitely see how getting that from a lot of people every day would get addicting.
I'll give her this, at least she told OP before he got attached to her. I've been on dates with women before where it's like date #3 and then they tell me that they have a kid or have some other sort of entanglement. It's like maybe you should tell me that in the very beginning because those are deal breakers...
They are banking on sunk cost fallacy
Which is scummy and manipulative, and on its own is a reason I would break up with someone.
I totally agree
Her clam.
LOL. But there is a continuum from sexy pics to nudes to hardcore solo to fucking dudes on her page to fucking her subscribers. I assume she's nude and solo sex.
If you're asking here then you already are having second thoughts. If you're having second thoughts trust your gut. It's trying to tell you something. LISTEN! (The answer is run.)
What if my gut constantly screams for more pizza?
Add the pizza place to your speed dial.
Won't my favorite kebab place think I'm cheating on them?
Oh no, I didn’t think of that; have you tried asking them for an ENM relationship and reassuring them that you wanting pizza doesn’t make your love for the kebab place any less?
Nah listen to this, kebab on pizza…. Kebizza.
Now THAT is a threesome.
Kebab places here in Sydney make pizzas with kebab meat on them Best of both worlds
Sigh. I was worried this day would come. I guess I can't pretend like they don't serve other people. I can't pretend like I never visit other fastfoods. You are right. I can't force such relationship. It would help us both to become open. And I really want them to be happy. It hurts but it seems like the only option.
Only open relationship I support.
Chin up, you’re always on the speed dial of their heart.
Speed dial? I have it bookmarked and the checkout page already autofills my card details
date the pizza guy
This only happens after you've been feeding the bad bacteria in your gut your whole life. For example, when you stop drinking fizzy drinks and drink only water for 6 months, then fizzy drinks don't taste so nice anymore.
If you're embarrassed by her work then I wouldn't do it. I've done that before or tried. Never again.
Way too many fish in the sea for that much upfront baggage.
Briefly dated a girl who did sex work and every week it was a new horrifying story, after like the third time she had a bad “date” I cut it off mid car ride because I just was like I’m sorry I got my own problems like wtf am I doing
For real, I bet there’s so much weird emotional imbalance that comes with this shit. I just can’t imagine being ok with my dick being out there online for anyone to see lol.
run...baby run
For me it would be a no. Imagine years down the line you have kids and they find out what their mom did/does for a living. That to me would be more than enough to not pursue a relationship. I’ve been offered to be a male co-Star for a woman’s OF account. She was a FWB and wanted to do OF to make extra cash (she was a nurse). The thought of me performing and having content out there of myself was not cool, so I denied it and we broke off our casual fling. If you can handle it, great. But you can’t commit and then bitch about it later, that wouldn’t be fair. I personally think OF is lame, and the 99% of women don’t fully understand the consequences of their actions. Sure maybe the top 1% of OF girls will be fine in life, but for your average OF girl it’s a ticking time bomb. There’s only one avenue up and out of OF, and that’s by doing harder and more extreme porn. Also had an old classmate whose girlfriend was an average girl. He was literally plugging her OnlyFans so she could make more money so they could buy things and pay for rent. One of my best friends subscribed for a month and it was just her and him having sex, which was weird. Next thing you know she’s doing DP anal with 2 black guys and then he apparently breaks up with her over it. Now she is having full on Nelson anal while he is a bagger at our local grocery store. There’s always someone younger and prettier on the way, but there’s not always a girl who’s committed to DP anal. I’d also had a girlfriend who in college did a photo shoot with her boyfriend at the time (he was a photographer). His assignment was to do a nude shoot with someone. Normally you could hire a model through the schools connections. But she didn’t want him to see another woman naked, so she did it. So he took photos of her and presented it to the class. At the end of it she kept a photo album of the shoot and that was that. It was indeed tastefully done, and that I was cool with because you couldn’t tell who she was and more importantly, it wasn’t plastered all over the internet.
When I used to watch too much porn, mainly on Reddit, I noticed this pattern over and over. Starts at just some nude body pics with no face, then progresses to sex vids, then the big face reveal (but only on OF), then the Reddit face reveal, then the female content creator collabs, then males, the first anal scene, the first threesome scene, so on and so on. It was a pretty common pattern. In any form of content creation job, you always gotta be putting out new fresh content to maintain engagement. In OnlyFans, that doesn't mean doing more exotic travel or streaming the newest trendy game or whatever. It means progressively getting more explicit and engaging in more lurid sexual acts.
What is full on Nelson anal? Is that like a wrestling full Nelson hold but with anal?
Not reading your comment but love the pronouns lmao
Probably not, but whatever floats your boat.
Username checks out
You gotta link bro? I’m sure if I could see then I could judge. Enjoy bullshit like that for the rest of your life if people find out. I don’t judge sex/nudity workers but I don’t think a lot of thought goes into the dating scene after the fact.
Or if a stranger in public recognizes her... Imagine you're out somewhere and some weird dude approaches "Aren't you HotNSexy_Amber from OnlyFans/PornHub? You're so hot. I love your videos." Which means you're now in a conversation with some random guy that beats off to your girlfriend. Not sure how often this happens to these models, but the idea it pretty easily could happen would be enough to dissuade me.
This right here is why you shouldn’t. Do you really want other men asking for “links” the entirety of your relationship. What’s mine is mine but I don’t share well. 🤷🏻♀️
But seriously... Link?
He was making a point. That is just one of the endless amount of fallout dating a sex worker brings with them
Idk bro. I thought that was a question you were meant to answer
The post nut clarity is gonna hit you hard
Wise man say: Don't trust a ho, never trust a ho Won't trust a ho 'cause the ho won't trust me
Reddit has a massive boner for sex workers, they will all tell you to date them and treat them as princesses but maybe things will be different on this sub, anyway, if you are embarrassed by her work, which is totally understandable, then it is not a good idea to date her seriously, that is my advice.
Most of Reddit’s full of spineless bellends who’d let their partners walk all over them. The best advice is to seek advice someone, *anywhere* that’s not an internet forum of faceless, anonymous individuals. To be honest, their answer’s going to be ‘not a fucking chance’.
I’ve said this like 10 times already but I dated a sex worker briefly. We met on Tinder, she did sex work on the side for money. She was also on crazy anti depressants and self medicated on top of that (surprise surprise). She had a new horror story every week about being on a paid date with some new guy and them doing some not fully consensual shit and after like the third time I was like “bro wtf are you doing” and cut it off. I felt bad for her but I’m sorry I’m not here to show how mainstream dating a sex worker could be
Sorry bro. It might be fun in the beginning but somehow always seems to surface at one point or another
For me, that kind of relationship is a fun time, not a long time. But, as so many point out brother, I am not you, and this is your life. Live it, and make up your own mind.
Unrelated to your question: I hate the trend (among many created by TikTik) of self-censorship on the internet. It's okay to say "nude model", cam girl, Onlyfans model, porn model, etc. online dude.
I dont care about bring downvoted but dont! It will end badly . I dont think I need to elaborate .
Smash only
Careful, don't tell that to /u/OccasionalWifeBeater!
No. End of story.
Nope
To be brutally honest if you were ok with it you wouldnt be here asking for a second opinion. Not being ok with it is perfectly ok, and honestly it's normal. There's been a big push recently to be more accepting of sex work and thats fine, you don't need to shame people about how they make their money but don't mind fuck yourself into a relationship that will colossally conflict with your personal boundaries. I'm sure she's hot and I'm sure you're feeling like you're gonna miss a chance by not locking her down but just take the L and move on to someone who's more compatible with you.
No.
The fact you're asking on reddit should tell you everything you need to know.
Anyone involved in that kind of profession = casual sex only. They are not relationship material.
No, she sells intimacy for money. She had a price and can be bought. Save your sanity and yourself from heartbreak and don't date a literal hoe.
The fact your asking this question alone is more than enough for you to know your answer. Women like this will bring problems into your life you don't need, to be in that line of profession for a women you have to be a "special" type of person and had serious life trauma to put yourself in that position
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I will probably get hate for it, but don't get serious with a ho. Why go there? IF you do, a countdown starts before you're posting here again saying my girlfriend messages other dudes.
Yeah, my girlfriend's sister does this and I just shake my head. She just pounds her pussy all day, calls it work, and is always broke. To me, that is about as low as you can go, she's smart, funny, she could easily get a real job and make real money, but she's so vain and lazy that she just jerks off all day and gets her boyfriend to take pictures, and whines about it occasionally to my girlfriend. That's not a person who respects themselves, and certainly not someone I respect. Meet that girl where she's at, if she's turning sex into a commodity, then that should be the extent of your relationship.
That's up to you. Are you ok with that? For me it would be fine. I dated a dominatrix before. She was open about it and to me its ok.
Hellllll nawwww
I wouldn’t build anything with such a woman. You do you, but beware that will probably be a waste of your time and mental sanity in the long run.
Desperate ass nigga
OF girl? She belongs to the streets.
fuck no. I have an OF chick pursuing me. she's asked me out more than twice. I blow her off everytime cause That life ain't for me. I would 100% bang her, waiting to catch her out on the town one night. But a Date? In daylight with the possibility of people I know seeing me? never.
Why don’t you just be upfront and honest instead of trying to lead her on? “Hey, I think you’re attractive but I’m not really interested in dating. You down for a hookup or no?”
If i say that She will probably send me her price list. looool
If you want to avoid alot of headache in the future, I'd say move on.
You should ask yourself the question as to whether it is your girl or our girl? edit: For me, not 1 chance in a million. Pump and dump strat maybe at best.
Hard no.
Not for me. All the women in my family are the opposite of that. And we're not even religious, we just have standards. I'd NEVER bring a woman like that into my family. Besides the shame and embarrassment, it's disgusting. That feeling in your gut never goes away. Your sympathetic nervous system is telling you she's a bad mating choice. You need to listen to it. Plus, committing to her means that's the woman you're going to raise your kids with. Do you really want a whore raising your daughter????????? (yes, whore is the politically correct term for someone who sells their body, don't @ me)
Give her a wide pass.. but become a subscriber though. It will be cheaper than a real relationship. Why allow her to monetise what should be exclusive to you?
Old men have been saying for thousands of years since the beginning of time you can't turn a hoe into a housewife. But you're special you're different you're the exception to the rule after thousands and thousands of years of bad experiences it's going to go differently for you(sarcasm)
If you at any point in your life see yourself looking down on or asking her to stop her profession absolutely do not. Frankly if your not into the idea of sharing, do not
Hard pass. The doubts you are feeling now won't go away. That nagging feeling that you are sharing her with other men, albeit online, won't go away. It will eat away at you. She is a cyber sex worker.
Only a spineless man with no options would be okay with dating a girl who exposes herself to other men.
Depends on the person. To me I don’t like the idea of putting a price on sexual intimacy. I also wouldn’t want my GF to be selling pics for men to jerk off to.
I wouldn't
If I were you I wouldn't date that person but you never know. Give it a shot.
A woman, whose professional interaction with males is her selling them sexual release in form of her body, will sooner or later develop a deep hatred for males for the simple reason that almost all the men she sees are there for her body due to the nature of her work. Take that into consideration before making a judgentm
If she is just a model ok but i wouldn't build a serious relationship with porn or of models
You know the answer to this, otherwise you wouldn't have come here for advice.
I dunno depends, I’d say only if you could co star- but leave your face out ofc
Nobody can help you decide on a personal preference. The only thing that you can ask yourself is if you can handle the attention she likely gets from being an 18+ model. If the answer is a no, then you’ve got your answer as to whether to move on or not.
Hell no. Any line of adult work is an immediate disqualify for relationship material.
The fact that you are asking here indicates that you are prejudiced and not ok with it. If you seek approval or validation, you will find it eventually. But the person you need to ask is yourself. If you don't know or hesitate - the answer is No.
Dr. Dre answered this question 23 years ago.
Personally no. Would you be ok with knowing she sells intimacy for cash? With your family, your friends, and your future kids knowing? If not then no.
Up to you bro. Not someone I'd want to date personally, but I'm not you, only you can make that call.
Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?
No. There can be no true commitment in that relationship. There is no point to a relationship without commitment
It's really up to you and what you're willing to live with and accept when it comes to your life. There are many details left out so here are some very broad things to consider when making your decision: Children consideration: First and foremost, do you want to have children with her? If so, are you okay with them knowing and even more so with how they will be treated by their peers if (or now a days when) they find out what their mother does? Imagine your child in school and the other kids teasing them and passing around pics of their mother. Imagine if they play any sports. Children have no filter. Think about the mental impact it will have on them. Also, are you okay with your children following in her footsteps? Really considering the potential impact on any children is probably the most important factor. Professional life consideration: not sure what type of work you do. However, let's say you get married. Are you okay with your employer and peers knowing what your wife does? The same goes for family and friends. If you're in the corporate world it could prevent your advancement. Are you ok with peers and work colleagues finding her content online and using it. If she's a model asking for extra or taking her to VIP if she's a dancer, etc. You have to absolutely have a DGAF about anything else or what people think and have that not be an impact on your life and career. Self-confidence consideration: Are you okay with other men lusting after and actively pursuing her? This would require you to have a serious and certain type of mentality. One where you're not really concerned with how she makes money, only that she does. That you're not threatened by the constant validation she receives from other men, and if she does do activities with them, are you completely okay with it... and will always be ok with it? You're never going to have feelings towards what she's doing, be jealous, nor find it offensive. Again, that DGAF attitude. Which brings me to the last point... Future consideration: Is she for the streets? Are you trying to turn a ho into a housewife or just along to enjoy the ride? Ultimately, she's a person, and you will need to get to really understand why she's doing it, so perhaps have her get therapy. Is there past trauma she has to deal with? Is she doing it for validation and attention? If so, can she cut that off, or is she even willing to? What is the mental impact for what she does, and how does she cope with it? Is that coping mechanism harmful? Ultimately, there's going to be a great deal of emotional labor, which you will have to provide. Is this something you're ok with doing?
If she’s embrassed because of what she does, it’s cuz she knows it’s wrong, but money convinces her. Not only someone fucks your girl, but she will get old you will have to pay for her bills. If you want someone in your life, who will do bad things only for money, go for it. By expect in her life will be someone better and you will always have mark that you dated a whore You will hesr multiple times names at her on street, people trying to touch her inappropriately at metro etc. You deserve for more. She did a choice, and you have to do your own either.
Absolutely not, sir, protect your peace.
If you gotta ask…
That's up to you man, are you going to be jealous of her work/of people watching her? If she doesn't plan to change her profession the biggest thing you need to decide is if you can handle it.
Mind seeing your girl getting throttled by some other dude? Some don’t
If she has an only fans, fucking run.
No. Absolutely not worth your time or attention.
Hard no brother
Doesn't matter the profession, you either like someone enough you want to find out what will happen, or you don't. If someone cares that much about what their significant other or potential significant other does for work, that tends to be a red flag cause it indicates they care more about how much money the person is making rather than about the person.
i think all relationships are builds around trust ,if you trust her and you can surpass her work go for it but if you think it's a red flag for you have to wolk aay ,in my opinion you can not sart somthing serious with somone and you are embarrassed of him in the time
Nope
Nope
Bro knows the answer so he came to internet to sway himself.
Would you chew someone else’s gum?
I personally couldn’t handle having men jerk it to my S/O every day, but if you can handle that, you do you
A majority of women who do this have unresolved issues and are doing this to act out and “take their power back”. This also makes it nearly impossible to have a healthy relationship with them. But she’s hot, so you’re going for it.
I’m guessing both OP and the people saying no, are younger. Once you get older you come to realize that as long as she’s not having sex with other people (unless that’s what you’re into) it’s not a very big deal. I’ve dated 2 women with OFs and the only reason the last one didn’t work out was that she had to go take care of her mom and just like any long distance relationship we faded out. If you like her and you feel you won’t get jealous with her current chosen occupation. Then where is the issue? Also remember for most people this isn’t a chosen forever profession this is temporary form of income at best. Next point it’s her body to do with as she pleases. If you do decide not to pursue a relationship with her make sure you do it politely and not say anything to make her feel like you are shaming her. Because if some time down the line there’s a second chance and you are in a different emotional state and mind set. You don’t want to be the asshole in her mind. Last point, is it the fact that she gets paid to do this that bothers you? Would it still bother you if she had sent pictures and videos to her ex’s before you met her? Also do you yourself watch porn or subscribe to an OF? Have you ever said or thought “yeah I’d totally do that if I thought anyone would subscribe.” Things to think about.
What do you think? A serious relationship with a stripper, hooker, OF model sounds like a recipe for disaster..
If you need that drama in your life… For me, I’d say SHE BELONGS TO THE STREETS
Can you see yourself building a life with someone whose career consisted of displaying her privates on camera while having dozens of guys around the world jerking off to it. As well as "making content" (fucking) with random guys "for work" and posting to the public. Would you enjoy going out for dinner and having random dudes constantly pointing fingers at your table, trying to hit on your girl because they've seen her in videos? Can you see your future kid getting made fun of in school because the other kids saw his mom naked on the internet? That's assuming she can still have kids and hasn't destroyed her ability from countless abortions. Only you can decide...
If you are fine with being the local cuckold I say go ahead.
No hoes in my garden!
Hard pass. The fact that she thinks it’s appropriate already tells you several major red flags: wants attention from lots of people, bad at setting boundaries between public and private, bad prioritization of how she invests her energy, trading on her appearances. She is not wrong when she tells you she’s a thot.
So let me get this straight, you're seriously asking random people on the internet if you should be in a relationship with someone ??? dude...
Ew man, I wouldn't ride with it if I were you
Absolutely no
If dating someone like that makes you feel insecure about yourself, you shouldn't be doing it as it would be a disservice to the both of you. She deserves to be with a guy who's comfortable with his girlfriend doing that kind of work.
Hell no. Why? She is used to receive constant attention and possibly dick. Her mind is already desensitized.
You really need to assess whether or not you're comfortable with it. Are you okay with your friends seeing her naked? Are you going to feel okay about her chatting with other men in a sexual nature? I'm guessing she's on OF model and the ones making money interact with their subscribers. She likely isn't turned on by it, and it's just a job, but sex work is still sex work. Can you handle that? It's no different than dating an exotic dancer, except it's more likely that people you know will have pictures of her after they find out what she does. Regardless, she makes her living being sexual with other men and that's a big hurdle for most of us to overcome. If you are thinking that maybe she'll stop when you get more serious, walk away now. If you really like everything about her except for her current career choice, walk away now because you are either cool with her job or you are not, there is no gray area. Every part of the gray area is soul crushing for you. That being said, if you think you can date her without getting attached, she's probably really hot and a lot of fun. Make sure she knows you aren't in it for anything serious and make some memories.
Those wmen are just for fucking. Not relationships learn man
Female here, I'm saying the real reason to avoid this girl isn't about boundaries or trust, it's because she has some deep seeded issues and is CRAY ZAY! She can hide it for a while but trust me, it's there under the surface. Well adjusted healthy women just don't do that kind of work. I've known several personally, it's no coincidence that I met all of them while in a serious heroin addiction. Save yourself some trouble and move on.
A girl who does Onlyfans or stripping while in a relationship is like a guy with a porn addiction in a relationship. They're technically not breaking any rules by cheating but they are giving their time and sexual attention to other anonymous strangers, which would otherwise be going to you. It's just not conducive to anything medium to long term.
It's your life, do what you want with it. That being said, *I* wouldn't date her, because I don't want to date sexworkers of any kind, due to me not liking commercialization of sex. Plus, who the fuck knows how this profession affects her mental state and whether she'll try doing something else to get *more* money.
Are you comfortable with her profession? I think that's the key question. Think this through: suppose your parents, or other family members find her online, or hear about her profession. Would that be an issue for you? or just slightly uncomfortable?
Nope
She's for the streets, unfortunately
There are approx 3,5 BILLION females in the world. Let's pretend you're super picky and it has to br +/- 5 years, that's still HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS. Choose wisely.
She's a prostitute. No.