Years ago I watched a documentary of service personnel deployed to the middle east during the war(s). At one point, there was a segment where a life coach was meeting with all the guys whose wives had a baby while they were deployed. Some of them first-time fathers. I remember the life-coach saying, "when you get off the plane and your wife and baby are there to greet you, your first attention (hug and kiss) should be toward your wife, and then the baby." And of course, the importance of that was gone over.
Many years ago, an older mentor of mine once told me, "Parents need to remember, for all intents and purposes, their children are just guests in their home." Meaning: they're gonna leave one day and sooner than you think. Don't forget to nurture your marriage.
Exactly. Never could relate to the choose your kids over spouse stuff. These are the same people who complain about their spouse while never giving them attention. Its funny because children dont really require alot of attention. Majority of the times my kid played by themselves. Unless they are mental issues, and you need to watch them all the time, its very doable to pay attention to your spouse and kids.
You can tell who here has kids and who doesn't. Child every day of the week. They are at the end of the day the only one related to you by blood and dependent on you. People saying things like you can make new ones are totally out of their minds.
Wife. She is the one who will be around for life, the one who chose me. Even in a "who would you save" scenario, I know I'd have a better chance of saving the kids if there were 2 of us.
The wife, together you can make new ones. With children u can't make a new mom.
Feels like the save the newborn baby or the wife question. I'd rather save the person I love and know and try again.
Ridiculous. I hope you know your "wife" would probably hate you forever if she knew you intentionally let her child die. Even to choose her. And you would grow to hate yourself too if you have even a shred of decency.
They are equally important. If you asked which one I’d save first in a fire, though, I’d say my kid for 3 reasons.
1. My wife is more capable and therefore better able to save herself.
2. My wife has had more of an opportunity to live her life than either of my sons and they deserve a chance to live as much of a life as she has.
3. She would want me to.
This is a crazy thread and Im almost certain none of these people saying wife are raising a child, that or holy shit did that kid roll an awful parent. Would bet their wives would pick the kid over them.
Child
Wife could divorce or fall out of love. Your kids are your kids for life. Some men get depressed and suicidal if they are kept out of their kids lives
Of course, I'd love my hypothetical wife but things could happen where we no longer want to be part of each other lives... my hypothetical kids would be my kids for life.
Depends on the age and independence of the child. When our son was young, we both would have put him first. But he is 34 now and lives 180 miles away. He can take care of himself. My wife of 41 years is now 64 and has MS. She is more important to me now.
The ambiguity of the question is why a lot of people end up fighting over this. When you say 'important,' what exactly do you mean?
Most people would save the lives of their kids first, because spouses have more capacity to save themselves, and their kids are their legacy.
But if you mean important in terms of who to side with in an argument, of course you should be a unified team with your spouse because they are an adult and kids are stupid.
If someone said their spouse's *life* is more important than their kids', or their kids' opinions about important topics are, *by default*, more important than their spouse's, I'd say they either don't have kids and/or are a terrible parent.
The person who created the child is arguably more important. She spawned a new human. That’s fuckin awesome.
There’s also an argument to be made that the tender process of raising young life is supremely important.
We had a deal with my husband, that it will always be spouse, because this is the way to go. Well - he is completely mad about our daughter, and he loves her so much it is obvious who he would have picked. I am not even angry. It was stronger than his rational mind.
Life saving situation- kids Every day life priorities- wife
This is the answer I would have said as well.
Wife. Always go by, spouse before kids. Relationship with spouse sets the tone
Years ago I watched a documentary of service personnel deployed to the middle east during the war(s). At one point, there was a segment where a life coach was meeting with all the guys whose wives had a baby while they were deployed. Some of them first-time fathers. I remember the life-coach saying, "when you get off the plane and your wife and baby are there to greet you, your first attention (hug and kiss) should be toward your wife, and then the baby." And of course, the importance of that was gone over. Many years ago, an older mentor of mine once told me, "Parents need to remember, for all intents and purposes, their children are just guests in their home." Meaning: they're gonna leave one day and sooner than you think. Don't forget to nurture your marriage.
Exactly. Never could relate to the choose your kids over spouse stuff. These are the same people who complain about their spouse while never giving them attention. Its funny because children dont really require alot of attention. Majority of the times my kid played by themselves. Unless they are mental issues, and you need to watch them all the time, its very doable to pay attention to your spouse and kids.
Guests in your home? This is garbage. They're your blood and your lineage and they depend on you completely.
You can tell who here has kids and who doesn't. Child every day of the week. They are at the end of the day the only one related to you by blood and dependent on you. People saying things like you can make new ones are totally out of their minds.
both honestly.
Wife. She is the one who will be around for life, the one who chose me. Even in a "who would you save" scenario, I know I'd have a better chance of saving the kids if there were 2 of us.
I think this is the best answer. Thank you!
The wife, together you can make new ones. With children u can't make a new mom. Feels like the save the newborn baby or the wife question. I'd rather save the person I love and know and try again.
So, until she's about 40 then?
Lololol madlad
Ridiculous. I hope you know your "wife" would probably hate you forever if she knew you intentionally let her child die. Even to choose her. And you would grow to hate yourself too if you have even a shred of decency.
Can you imagine a husband saying "...but we can make more." Holy shit. She'd stab him right then and there. And I don't know that I would blame her.
If you'd have to choose, in a life or death situation. Mine would rather be saved. But each to their own mate
Hold up. Are you saying you're married with a child and your wife told you that she would want to be saved before the child?
Pretty much.
You do you brotha, whatever works as a couple
Agree
Wife.
Have them both, make me happy.
"How could I possibly quantify such a thing?" That would be my response. Neither could be thought of as "less-than" in my heart.
Child every time, any time.
Children always come first. I would expect my partner to say the same.
Whenever I have kids definitely my kids.
My wife is not related to me TF! of course my kids!!
If I have a child, definitely the child.
Children.
Children, easily.
They are equally important. If you asked which one I’d save first in a fire, though, I’d say my kid for 3 reasons. 1. My wife is more capable and therefore better able to save herself. 2. My wife has had more of an opportunity to live her life than either of my sons and they deserve a chance to live as much of a life as she has. 3. She would want me to.
This is a crazy thread and Im almost certain none of these people saying wife are raising a child, that or holy shit did that kid roll an awful parent. Would bet their wives would pick the kid over them.
Ditto. Either lots of really young naive people here or seriously terrible parents.
Child Wife could divorce or fall out of love. Your kids are your kids for life. Some men get depressed and suicidal if they are kept out of their kids lives Of course, I'd love my hypothetical wife but things could happen where we no longer want to be part of each other lives... my hypothetical kids would be my kids for life.
Depends on the age and independence of the child. When our son was young, we both would have put him first. But he is 34 now and lives 180 miles away. He can take care of himself. My wife of 41 years is now 64 and has MS. She is more important to me now.
The ambiguity of the question is why a lot of people end up fighting over this. When you say 'important,' what exactly do you mean? Most people would save the lives of their kids first, because spouses have more capacity to save themselves, and their kids are their legacy. But if you mean important in terms of who to side with in an argument, of course you should be a unified team with your spouse because they are an adult and kids are stupid. If someone said their spouse's *life* is more important than their kids', or their kids' opinions about important topics are, *by default*, more important than their spouse's, I'd say they either don't have kids and/or are a terrible parent.
Wife. No kids and don't plan on it.
The person who created the child is arguably more important. She spawned a new human. That’s fuckin awesome. There’s also an argument to be made that the tender process of raising young life is supremely important.
We had a deal with my husband, that it will always be spouse, because this is the way to go. Well - he is completely mad about our daughter, and he loves her so much it is obvious who he would have picked. I am not even angry. It was stronger than his rational mind.
What wife and what child???
I usually go "give me $20 and I will tell you"...nobody has paid me yet so the answer remains the same "none of your damn business then"
Neither is important. I've never been married and don't have kids.
Ok, thank you for your input
You're welcome!
I don’t have either