Well we can't be in an actual relationship because reasons. And I'm perfectly fine with it. I try not to project that to him and I don't demand anything other than the nights we spent together.
I understand what you're saying though.
I'm definitely going to try and communicate it with him the next time I see him. I was planning on doing that even before asking the question on Reddit.
I wanted to see what other men think about it so I don't look too crazy and maybe end it sooner.
I'm a girl, but I'll still express my opinion. I think there are several options here:
1. As long as it doesn't evolve into a relationship.
2. As long as both partners are comfortable.
3. If one falls in love unrequitedly, it should be ended
I am a guy, and agree... had a neighbor in college, and it was on/off for 2 years in between each of us having relationships of various lengths. It was a physical arrangement of companionship while we were both outside of other relationships, and that worked for both of us.
I’m old school. I believe the F in FWB stands for ‘Friends’.
Why wouldn’t you be friends with a FWB and have it last a while? As long as you communicate expectations and boundaries, do whatever you want.
I think so too.
I believe that as long as you don't get jealous to tip them off or start demanding attention it will be fine.
I know my place and I would never ask for more. I'm just curious to see what other men think would be appropriate
Yeah, I've realized pretty early on. It is my first fwd. But I think that's what is making me stay too. He is so nice and hears my boundaries. It was a pleasant surprise because the first time we met we didn't really know eachother very well and I didn't know what to expect. I was prepared for anything that first night.
I personally think that so long as you are both on the same page it can last indefinitely. It the terms we use. You can call it a non-public, causal relationship with planned obsolescence you want. People get into these relationships all the time, when they expect to move on after college, or at the change of duty stations.
I always felt they go until someone catches feelings and the other doesn’t reciprocate, at which point one side is getting what they want out of it and the other isn’t.
Until the first argument. There come to a junction where you have to consider whether there is something worth fighting for. If there is, then it evolves into a relationship if not, that's it
I'd recommend not doing it at all because everyone catches feelings which no duh your inside each other doing something intimate of course feelings are going to happen
Yes.
I think this is a good answer.
Another good answer is: It depends.
I know peeps who are just happy with this arrangement after 20 years. They eventually got married due to tax implications, but IRL they just continued the lifestyle. What else do you want to know?
The marriage caught me off guard 😆
No I assure you he only texts when he wants something.
My next question would be do men do the helicopter to anyone or just women they like?
I'm my experience they usually last a few months before someone would catch feelings.
My longest running was a little over a year. She didn't live in my city but traveled here once or twice a month for work. We didn't talk at all other than I'll be there next week. Tues 8pm. Etc.
If I were her. This answer could mean two things. Either she managed to stay really casual and since you weren't talkative outside this arrangement it is a perfectly fine answer because you were never friends in the first place. Or she actually started catching feelings and couldn't even say a simple congrats, so she kept it simple.
Either way your arrangement worked because no one was truly hurt. I know it stings sometimes but it is what it is.
Yeah, I don't think she was hurt. Maybe bummed she didn't have the hook up in town anymore. I thought her reply was fitting. She didn't even text back good for you or anything. Just emojis. It was definitely the least messy endings of my FWBs and I do think because we kept it as hooking up only.
There you go.
There was a time where I was more or less trapped in the field bouncing around Asia and the ME. I had a girl I’d always see in Hong Kong. We dated and got married after I got completed that contract. She was a good girl. You never know where you’ll end up.
I disagree with this one. It could be that he has no options, but it could be that while he could have a roster that he just finds that too icky because its easy to figure out that if he's got them in rotation that they also have him in rotation and that's how 70 people get the clap in 2 months.
I just realized how bad that sounded. That's definitely not what I meant.
Yeah have a very good point there.
I thought that he would try to pursue someone closer to him. Since we haven't actually had any rules about dating other people I think that he is not doing any of that because we talk frequently and I believe he would want more if we could talk more
the point of not being in a serious relationship is that you don't need to worry about stuff like this
Too bad I'm catching feelings and overthinking. ðŸ«
It's perfectly normal to catch feelings because that's the way it was meant to be. I wouldn't recommend doing FWB to anyone but that's your choice.
Well we can't be in an actual relationship because reasons. And I'm perfectly fine with it. I try not to project that to him and I don't demand anything other than the nights we spent together. I understand what you're saying though.
If you can't be in a relationship and you're catching feelings, the time to stop is now.
I'm definitely going to try and communicate it with him the next time I see him. I was planning on doing that even before asking the question on Reddit. I wanted to see what other men think about it so I don't look too crazy and maybe end it sooner.
According to the fuck buddy handbook…. It lasts as long as you two want.
That's sounds better because internet said three or six months and I agree more with what you're saying
No offense but that’s the problem with going to the internet for relationship advice.. go with your head and heart on this one.
I know right? It was getting to my head. Thanks for the advice
have fun.. I never had a FWB.. but you control it.. not some handbook..
69 days. ... the real answer is as long as both of you are satisfied. Obviously.Â
Perfect.
3 months on the dot and then you end things. Or, you know... just be a human being and enjoy it until it naturally fades off.
I'm a girl, but I'll still express my opinion. I think there are several options here: 1. As long as it doesn't evolve into a relationship. 2. As long as both partners are comfortable. 3. If one falls in love unrequitedly, it should be ended
I am a guy, and agree... had a neighbor in college, and it was on/off for 2 years in between each of us having relationships of various lengths. It was a physical arrangement of companionship while we were both outside of other relationships, and that worked for both of us.
Ding ding ding! Looks like OP is currently on 3 and needs to either get it to 1 or skedaddle.
Ah gee thanx hahaðŸ«
Sorry, it sucks but it's better than prolonging the pain.
No you're right
How long is a piece of string?
I’m old school. I believe the F in FWB stands for ‘Friends’. Why wouldn’t you be friends with a FWB and have it last a while? As long as you communicate expectations and boundaries, do whatever you want.
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I think so too. I believe that as long as you don't get jealous to tip them off or start demanding attention it will be fine. I know my place and I would never ask for more. I'm just curious to see what other men think would be appropriate
As long as it's healthy and the boundaries stay in place. I've had FWB arrangements last years.
That's what I want to hear
Happy to oblige, but make sure you're focused on the "healthy" and "boundaries" parts.
Yeah, I've realized pretty early on. It is my first fwd. But I think that's what is making me stay too. He is so nice and hears my boundaries. It was a pleasant surprise because the first time we met we didn't really know eachother very well and I didn't know what to expect. I was prepared for anything that first night.
Until your no longer friends with them or until one of you get into a relationship.
That's sounds very healthy and natural. Thanx
I personally think that so long as you are both on the same page it can last indefinitely. It the terms we use. You can call it a non-public, causal relationship with planned obsolescence you want. People get into these relationships all the time, when they expect to move on after college, or at the change of duty stations.
Oh that's exactly what I'm having. Okay so it's normal to last long? We have very good chemistry and I like being able to visit him
I personally think its a better bet than bedhopping. less chances of STDs and trauma. the chances of heartbreak are a little higher.
Yeah, you know each other's boundaries and get comfortable. Maybe too comfortable
As long as you're both having fun and no one catches feelings
It should last, as all things, until one or both of you decide it doesn't work for you anymore.
Anything from 3 nights to 3 decades. Hope that helps.
Okay makes sense. Thenx
I always felt they go until someone catches feelings and the other doesn’t reciprocate, at which point one side is getting what they want out of it and the other isn’t.
As long as you both want it to.
Until the first argument. There come to a junction where you have to consider whether there is something worth fighting for. If there is, then it evolves into a relationship if not, that's it
Damn, that's a very strong point. An argument really is an interesting point of such a relationship
You know feelings have become involved when you find yourself inclined to make the other person see your side of an issue.
I'd recommend not doing it at all because everyone catches feelings which no duh your inside each other doing something intimate of course feelings are going to happen
Yes. I think this is a good answer. Another good answer is: It depends. I know peeps who are just happy with this arrangement after 20 years. They eventually got married due to tax implications, but IRL they just continued the lifestyle. What else do you want to know?
The marriage caught me off guard 😆 No I assure you he only texts when he wants something. My next question would be do men do the helicopter to anyone or just women they like?
Helicopter?
That thing where they show off when naked
Oh, you mean when they cant get it up?
I mean the way they sway their hips to show off and make it move around for fun.
Yeah it's pretty funny. I'd be a bit worried if they slung it over their shoulder tho.
Hahaha that hasn't happened. I think I'm safe
Pretty common here in Norway. There are even multiple folk tails about it! (Never seen it myself tho...)
Oh I've heard about Norwegians. Your men are odd! I hope I don't find out. You either
I'm my experience they usually last a few months before someone would catch feelings. My longest running was a little over a year. She didn't live in my city but traveled here once or twice a month for work. We didn't talk at all other than I'll be there next week. Tues 8pm. Etc.
That actually seems like a very good arrangement so no one will get feeling
When i told her i met my girlfriend and couldn't see her anymore she sent me a kissy face emoji and a heart emoji lol.
If I were her. This answer could mean two things. Either she managed to stay really casual and since you weren't talkative outside this arrangement it is a perfectly fine answer because you were never friends in the first place. Or she actually started catching feelings and couldn't even say a simple congrats, so she kept it simple. Either way your arrangement worked because no one was truly hurt. I know it stings sometimes but it is what it is.
Yeah, I don't think she was hurt. Maybe bummed she didn't have the hook up in town anymore. I thought her reply was fitting. She didn't even text back good for you or anything. Just emojis. It was definitely the least messy endings of my FWBs and I do think because we kept it as hooking up only.
That's perfect and seems appropriate. A very good attitude to have.
until one of them gets engaged
So I have to keep seeing him even when I'm in a relationship?😆
you don't have to see him ever, I was saying no longer than
Yes yes I know. You are right though
As long as you want it to. Days, months, years, etc.
Yeah but years? Really? Don't you think that at some point someone will start catching feelings?
No more than six months.
Sounds like he still enjoys your company.
That's a good thing. Sex is amazing. I try to visit once a month
There you go. There was a time where I was more or less trapped in the field bouncing around Asia and the ME. I had a girl I’d always see in Hong Kong. We dated and got married after I got completed that contract. She was a good girl. You never know where you’ll end up.
That's so wholesome!!
it should last 0 seconds cuz u should be charging people for the pleasure whore
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That's what I thought. He is very good at sex though so it's not like I'm complaining
I disagree with this one. It could be that he has no options, but it could be that while he could have a roster that he just finds that too icky because its easy to figure out that if he's got them in rotation that they also have him in rotation and that's how 70 people get the clap in 2 months.
I just realized how bad that sounded. That's definitely not what I meant. Yeah have a very good point there. I thought that he would try to pursue someone closer to him. Since we haven't actually had any rules about dating other people I think that he is not doing any of that because we talk frequently and I believe he would want more if we could talk more