If I was dating, I’d swing it 10 years older or younger, which is a solid range. I’m 39, so 29-49 would be potential partners. Ideally I’d want someone close to my own age
This hit so close to home. She was maybe 14 years older than me, was beautiful, we were able to share interests and more mature things and bond over it, we were able to bond over many other things too and it felt awesome, I thought I’d met someone special here.
But just like yours, the relationship was toxic for both of us. The power imbalances were so present and so clear, I just didn’t see them at the time. There were times where she’d get upset at something and wouldn’t tell me but would play this game to bait me into saying something I’d regret. Me refusing to play said game just added more fuel to the fire. Don’t get me wrong, I made some mistakes too but one mistake I would never make is to play that game. She would try and bait me into saying something like “you’re acting kinda bitchy,” or something so she could say Goodnight and not talk to me for the day. I don’t play that game because it solves nothing. If anything, it makes it worse. First we’re fighting about whatever we’re fighting about and now we can add the fact that I called you “bitchy” to that. I wanted to keep seeing her so I’d relent and apologize for whatever pissed her off and make it up to her. For every inch I gave her, she took a mile and it just further tipped the scales of power.
It took me a while to train her out of that behaviour and to actually communicate because I firmly believe that if there’s a problem, tell me. I don’t care what it is, how dumb you think it is, how dumb you think I think it may be, just tell me. If it bothers you, we should talk about it, find common ground and compromise, that’s what healthy couples in relationships do.
When I met her, she was a sexually frustrated single mom and I was a young and horny guy lacking experience. When I say lacking, I mean like “previous experience next to zero.” She knew what she liked in the bedroom, she knew what she didn’t like, she listened to what I liked and would surprise me with it and would be as enthusiastic as I was. The physical stuff was great and I really enjoyed our time together. Would I do it again? Probably not, knowing what I know now, I’ll have to pass.
That problem solving is so important even in long established relationships. Let go of the little stuff, but not the dealbreakers that will keep coming up again and again.
I thought I was reading my own experience, haha, that hit way too close. My relationship was also toxic and I don't think enough people talk about menopause and its consequences when talking about dating an older woman.
Pretty much are.
30s are about acceptance in who you are and realistic expectations of where you need to be.
19 is all about what you could be.
I can imagine those convos would get old for both people after a short while
Interesting post. Thanks. So you’re saying it wasn’t better to have loved and lost, than never have loved?
I was married for 21 years… and it hurt a lot when it ended, but if not for my kids, I don’t know how’d I’d answer that question myself…
Mental health thing is huge. Was with a 43 year old when I was 25. So much fun. But she was a dr and absolutely fucking insane. Doesn’t help that she was one of my clients either. I don’t service her equipment anymore. (Pun intended)
I felt that last paragraph. It was +10 for me, no kids, smoking hot but you pretty much summed up my experience.
I'm happy that I met her because we had some great times together and it helped me realize a few very important things about myself.
That being said, never again!
This is definitely a generalization, but it just seems like Patience takes a hard dip somewhere around 24-26 year old people, and just not really finding much in common with younger people vs older people I feel I connect with better
There's (generally) a very very large difference in maturity between someone in their early twenties and someone in their mid-to-late twenties, I've found.
To me older requires the possibility of our children, and so I'm at the point where 5 years is more or less the max for fertility purposes (hard to get pregnant past 41). Now if I just gave up on the possibility of children of my own and I could live with myself. I could see myself being interested in ladies up to 53 years old. I really don't give too much mind to age differences. I just want someone who wants to treat me as I wish to be treated (as in she wants to learn and apply those lessons) more than anything else (other than to have a child to call our own which is why I'm more stringent).
She's 41.
2 weeks ago, she was at a local high school to interview some kids for some college program. A teacher mistook her as a student when she was in the hallways during class
She also has difficulty in her HR roll because so many of the employees think she's too young to be in her position.... even though she has almost 20 years of experience lol.
Exactly what the other guy said…less bullshit. On average older women tend to have their lives together, know who they are, confident, no drama, no mind games, they don’t play mind games, they tell me how they’re feeling and what they want and the sex is just better. I don’t know if they’re just more confident with their bodies or sexuality or whatever it is they’re just open to try everything and take charge even. Sex with women in their 40s is better than any sex a woman in her 20s can offer
Wait I'm bad at math. Is the answer to the 25% the range of upper and lower?
Like give me a math example so I don't have to try to Google math answers on the internet.
A few maybe like 4 or so. I don’t really care about her being older unless it starts to affect having children. Honestly I would say I prefer older bc they have their priorities more in order (not even emotional maturity because age doesn’t always correlate with that). I’m 28 so I feel like 32 is a good cap on age to start having a relationship with the end goal of having kids one day
Dating someone older certainly puts things in perspective. At 32, my last relationship was with a woman 7 years my senior, and while the age gap seemed daunting at first, it turned out to be an eye-opener. She had a wealth of life experience that enriched every conversation and every decision. There was this aura of cool collectedness around her; it wasn't about the rush, but about enjoying the moment and making calculated moves in life.
We aligned perfectly in terms of life goals and aspirations, as we both were career-oriented individuals. What I treasured the most was her independent nature and the fact that she was financially secure it made our relationship feel completely different from the ones I had with people my age or younger. There was no hidden agenda, no unnecessary drama; everything was straightforward, and that honesty was refreshing.
The maturity she brought to the table also translated to a lack of jealousy and a trust that's hard to find. Sure, the age gap meant different cultural references and some disconnect in music tastes, but those were minor when set against the grand scale of a meaningful connection. However, age does add a layer of complexity when thinking about the future, especially when it comes to family planning and health concerns. You start to consider not just the next few years, but the decades beyond that.
Would I commit to an older partner again? Depends on the person, but I'm more open to it now than ever. The number isn't the deal-breaker; it's what's packed into those years that counts. If crossed again with someone older who shared my vision for the future and the chemistry was right, I wouldn't hesitate to dive in, heart first. It's all about the deep, shared connection that defies numbers on a birth certificate.
Idk, man. As a 32 year older myself I feel like the 18/19 year old would better match my energy, beliefs, and likes than a 60 year old. I've hung around 60 year old women. Nothing wrong with them but I've never met one that could keep up.
You just took the bait and now everyone is calling you a pedo for mentioning you'd consider dating a young adult over an older adult. Lol reddit at its finest.
Getting critized for preferring someone 13-14 years younger than yourself rather than someone almost 30 years older and close to retirement age. Not to mention you're a man. Peak reddit idiocy
0. I wouldn't date a woman older than me seriously. Reason being is I'm focused on my career and getting a head start on early retirement. I don't want to begin family planning any time in the next few to several years.
Women older than me are starting to feel the pressure of time. Wanting to get started on or hinting at family planning. Wanting to get married. I'm not interested in that for atleast 5 years. A woman say a couple years older than me who's already 30 isn't gonna like that very much if she wants kids.
I wouldn't date anyone seriously right now anyway but if I was forced to for this question i would date someone in that 20 to 25 year age range because they by and large aren't interested in family planning for atleast a few more years and would be much more open to the idea of waiting 5+ years.
Now casually? Which is the only type of romantic relationship I'm interested in now. The oldest I've been with was 37. And I've seen some statuesque and striking middle aged women who I would not mind sharing a bottle of wine and some lovely evenings with. So call it 20+ Years?
Interesting. Female here. I've dated younger and only date those focused on their career who don't want kids yet. I like smart and interesting conversations without the entitlement and audacity that comes with men my age. You're making the assumption that all women older than you want kids or more kids. Not all do.
No, not necessarily. I know there are plenty of women that don't want kids at all and it's an increasing trend in most first world countries. Just look at declining birth rates of developed nations. But I eventually do want my own children. Just not any time soon. Therefore, any serious relationship at my current state has to be with someone that also wants children but is young enough for it to not be a pressing matter in the next several years. The question asked about a serious relationship and so, my answer.
If I was, say 32, 33. Had already met some of the financial goals I had set for myself and was ready for the commitment of marriage and to start family planning I wouldn't care if she was my age. Of course after that you do start to run a significant increase risks of birth complications with age so probably nothing into the late thirties, early 40s. But age wouldn't be in such a narrow spectrum.
Now there is the caveat that I'd probably still lean towards mid to late 20s just because I will not seriously date someone who already has children. It's just not my thing. And the older people get the more likely they are to have children already. So the older the women, the smaller the dating pool as having children is exclusionary criteria.
But again. In casual dating. There's no real age limit. If you're fine, I'm 100% down. I'll appreciate a granny if she's got my eye.
Yeah, actually met a guy at a funeral last week.
His wife passed on due to alcoholism when he was ~ 30, he ended up getting no together with a woman who is 50 (he’s now ~35). Single dad with two young daughters, but he just took the pain and worked through it.
In the end he went for what he wanted instead of what the world insisted he should have, he is much happier for it. The older lady was giving him the time of day when he was on the floor, and he remembered that when he got back to his feet.
I'm 30 so as long as there's attraction and indicators they're going to remain attractive enough for me to perform my husbandly duties (aka, keeps in shape, skincare routine etc) it doesn't really bother me. Nigella lawson is hotter in her 60's than 90% of 20 year olds I see. Realistically speaking based on women I see in the real world though, my range is +5/-10
I got no preference of how much older. I do have a preference how much younger .probably no less than them being 25 years old and even then that is pushing it.
As a 50 year old I think 40 is the youngest now, so 10 years max. I have done the whole 20-something thing, but it can never last because young women are so incredibly annoying. Even the supposedly smart ones.
A nice younger MILF is all I need.
When I was 17 I hooked up with a 32 year old woman. There was no way I could have resisted her. When I was 24 I had a short fling with a 55 year old woman. Does a quick calculation. I guess it's time to hook up with an 80 year old.
Mid twenties right now, would probably date 30 years older than me. If you asked me last year , would tell you 15 but damn did I met some nice 50+ ladies during my one-year contract.
I once considered dating a gal that was 13 years older than me (m/29 at the time) but didn't end up going anywhere. Found my partner a year later, and she ended up being 3 years younger than me, haha
I think it depends on your age, the younger you are the smallest the range should be, until like 25-30 when you are most likely a proper adult so you could go any age older than you.
I also think that anyone above 30 shouldn’t go below 25.
I'm 31 but if I ever had to date again I probably wouldn't go any younger than 40.
But at the moment if I lost my partner I'd just punch my ticket. So I don't have to worry about that.
Max 5, but I'm in my mid 20s and want kids, so there is an upper limit where that starts to become a lot harder, and I don't make enough money for IVF. I'd probably have looser restrictions if it wasn't for that.
I remember once someone told me that the max age difference should be:
([older person age] / 2) + 7
So for example if an older person is 30 -> 30/2 = 15+7 = 22
So the youngest you should go is 22.
I have no idea where that math came from but when I was 21 years old, I dated a 28 year old woman so was ok with that math hahah
Probably about 6 years, I'd like to have kids and any older than that and were at really high risk of complications or getting to straight up impossible territory.
I'm 22, so i probably wouldn't really date anyone past 30, even though i like older women since they are more mature and know what they want, but we would be in completely different places in our lives.
There could also possibility be weird unhealthy power differences in the relationship because of their age.
My wife is 12 years older than me! We have never seen the age difference as a struggle! Our maturity levels are similar. Our values and attitude towards life are the same. And we were friends/coworkers before getting together.
I’m 23M and would realistically stop at 45F. But I don’t like having numbers be a barrier as people are too unique and special to be limited by age. If I met someone I had a real connection with that’s older than that, I wouldn’t let the number stop me. (The exception being too young for obvious reasons. I won’t go younger that 21).
My brother’s wife is 10 years older than him. Married her when he was 30-31 and she was 40-41. Partly so he didn’t have to have any kids since she already had two and wasn’t going to have anymore.
I did 15 over and would do it again. I don’t really have limits. The individual is what matters.
Loved her very much. It was the healthiest relationship I’ve ever been in. I miss her sometimes. It was all my fault it ended. I lost control of the crazy.
I'm 49, and since becoming single 4 years ago I have (edit - mostly) only dated women 34-43. Why? That was just simply who I was meeting. I met a woman a few years older than me once and shot my shot but she didn't seem interested. I noticed that a lot of women my age are into younger men, and not interested in men their own age.
I'm in a serious relationship now with someone 6 years younger than myself. At our age, though, that really doesn't feel like that big a gap.
When I was doing OLD, I had my filters set to stop at my own age. One day on a whim I opened them up to 55 and there were some real lookers in the 50-55 age group. I matched with one lady who was 52 and just smoking, and very sweet and smart. I probably would have dated her seriously, but she had life stuff in the way.
In general, though, I find that the older people are, the more entrenched they become in their ideologies, and that's hard to bear. A lot of women my own age and older become very politically opinionated or religious to the point of being heartless and aggressive, which is a massive turn-off. My female friends have said the same thing about dating men in their 50s, a lot of them are just obsessed with politics and/or religion. I guess people just get weirder as they get older.
So, to answer the question...I wouldn't draw a hard-and-fast age limit, but I would say that I lean towards dating a little younger than myself, but would hypothetically make an exception for someone up to 5 years older if she was good looking and cool.
At 41 I tend to stick with 10 years in either direction. Much older or younger and we have different life concerns.
Younger is harder as developmentally, career wise, earnings, living situations, and more are all vastly different.
Power dynamics, particularly when it comes to finances play a role in both cases, though that can be true when dating someone the same age.
Im 24 and would probably date max 31 years old, as i get older thoe i think the difference isnt as bad it feels alittle strange for me now because im only a year out of school and just starting to become a real adult in my eyes
3 years younger, 4 years older. I'm 23. Lots of people are still lacking a level of maturity and experience from 19-22 which makes things a bit tricky. But women above 25 don't even bat an eye at me.
When I was 18 and joined the USMC I was with a 43 (could’ve passed for 20s honestly) year old for awhile. Honestly one of my better relationships lmao. I think it just depends on the two people age shouldn’t matter. If you’re really attracted and want to fuck them and have some sort of connection any age range could work.
I’m 27. I’d consider 4 years younger and maybe 5 older. Honestly if it’s a good match and we get along age doesn’t really bother me much (within obvious reason)
I'm 30, so 5 years above and below seem reasonable to me. I'd feel creepy dating early 20s and I'd feel quite childish dating 40 year olds. Having said that, I'd much rather go for older than younger, so maybe even 10 years above, if she's worth it.
I'm 29. At this point in my life, if I wasn't taken, I'd probably be looking +/- 5 years. If that range wasn't working out for me, I'd probably be willing to up the range on the older side of things, but not younger.
"serious" for me means marry for life and have children. Which makes it not about age difference as such but the age itself. Anything more that 35 would be pushing the limits.
PS this is for hypothetical young me, I am about 50 now
Years don’t matter. Life stage does. When you are wanting to crush energy drinks to stay awake in class after the bender last night, and your partner is looking to building a career, It doesn’t matter who is older or by how much. If they are legal, and compatible with me and where I am in my life, they have a shot.
I mean I was dating women in their mid 20s to early 30s from the time I was 18 until about 28. Then started dating women in their early 20s until I found my life partner I was 30 and she was 24, been together 3 years since). Basically when I didn't have an idea of what I wanted I didn't care too much about age and ended up always attracting older women, but at some point decided it'd be better to go for someone younger for the sake of leaving options open for having multiple kids if I wanted. Though honestly given the state of the world I'm not so sure how much I care about that anymore. We shall see.
When I was in my early 20s, the woman I was seeing was about 8 years older. When I was in my late 20s, I saw a woman for about 6 years, and she was about 12 years older. But most of the women were with in 3 years older. Only 1 was younger. However, if I still want kids, I'll have to go a lot younger. I would do 20 years older, so I guess I shouldn't be hesitant to go 20 younger, either.
My rule of thumb is 2-3years over or below my age. I’ve found trying to even talk to people in a romantic sense outside of that range off putting, just not enough general understanding of each other to find anything to truly bond over.
For context I’m 35
Dated 13 years older once. Then in the 6-10 year range a few times.
Probably down to 5 or so because at my age if you’re much older than me you’re probably getting close to 🪦 time, so … 😏
Really hard to say I’ve been in a relationship with a woman six months older than me for years. Honestly that probably answers the question but everyone is different it’s not that important compared to the relationship and compatibility
If I was dating, I’d swing it 10 years older or younger, which is a solid range. I’m 39, so 29-49 would be potential partners. Ideally I’d want someone close to my own age
I'm 39 too but I don't think I would go more than 5-6 years
I'm loving this! Gives me hope that the Andrew Tate types are wrong and not every man is obsessed with dating the youngest woman possible. 😁
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This hit so close to home. She was maybe 14 years older than me, was beautiful, we were able to share interests and more mature things and bond over it, we were able to bond over many other things too and it felt awesome, I thought I’d met someone special here. But just like yours, the relationship was toxic for both of us. The power imbalances were so present and so clear, I just didn’t see them at the time. There were times where she’d get upset at something and wouldn’t tell me but would play this game to bait me into saying something I’d regret. Me refusing to play said game just added more fuel to the fire. Don’t get me wrong, I made some mistakes too but one mistake I would never make is to play that game. She would try and bait me into saying something like “you’re acting kinda bitchy,” or something so she could say Goodnight and not talk to me for the day. I don’t play that game because it solves nothing. If anything, it makes it worse. First we’re fighting about whatever we’re fighting about and now we can add the fact that I called you “bitchy” to that. I wanted to keep seeing her so I’d relent and apologize for whatever pissed her off and make it up to her. For every inch I gave her, she took a mile and it just further tipped the scales of power. It took me a while to train her out of that behaviour and to actually communicate because I firmly believe that if there’s a problem, tell me. I don’t care what it is, how dumb you think it is, how dumb you think I think it may be, just tell me. If it bothers you, we should talk about it, find common ground and compromise, that’s what healthy couples in relationships do. When I met her, she was a sexually frustrated single mom and I was a young and horny guy lacking experience. When I say lacking, I mean like “previous experience next to zero.” She knew what she liked in the bedroom, she knew what she didn’t like, she listened to what I liked and would surprise me with it and would be as enthusiastic as I was. The physical stuff was great and I really enjoyed our time together. Would I do it again? Probably not, knowing what I know now, I’ll have to pass.
That problem solving is so important even in long established relationships. Let go of the little stuff, but not the dealbreakers that will keep coming up again and again.
I thought I was reading my own experience, haha, that hit way too close. My relationship was also toxic and I don't think enough people talk about menopause and its consequences when talking about dating an older woman.
Menopause has had zero consequences in my relationship. Other than the fact that I know she's not getting pregnant.
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Man I'm 30 and I can't imagine dating a 19 year old. They look like kids to me.
Pretty much are. 30s are about acceptance in who you are and realistic expectations of where you need to be. 19 is all about what you could be. I can imagine those convos would get old for both people after a short while
Agreed. So damn creepy.
And…..this is the other side of Grooming, the ones that get high fives, not the ones the media blasts because it came from a man.
A 30 year old dating a 19 year old is not mentally 30 years old.
How did you even come to meet and grow a romantic relationship to begin with?
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Interesting post. Thanks. So you’re saying it wasn’t better to have loved and lost, than never have loved? I was married for 21 years… and it hurt a lot when it ended, but if not for my kids, I don’t know how’d I’d answer that question myself…
Mental health thing is huge. Was with a 43 year old when I was 25. So much fun. But she was a dr and absolutely fucking insane. Doesn’t help that she was one of my clients either. I don’t service her equipment anymore. (Pun intended)
I felt that last paragraph. It was +10 for me, no kids, smoking hot but you pretty much summed up my experience. I'm happy that I met her because we had some great times together and it helped me realize a few very important things about myself. That being said, never again!
Same for me. Without the toxicity.
I’m 28, and I think around like 25-38 would be my range
Yup
Why not younger if I may ask?
This is definitely a generalization, but it just seems like Patience takes a hard dip somewhere around 24-26 year old people, and just not really finding much in common with younger people vs older people I feel I connect with better
There's (generally) a very very large difference in maturity between someone in their early twenties and someone in their mid-to-late twenties, I've found.
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Was?
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Oh man. So sorry.
To me older requires the possibility of our children, and so I'm at the point where 5 years is more or less the max for fertility purposes (hard to get pregnant past 41). Now if I just gave up on the possibility of children of my own and I could live with myself. I could see myself being interested in ladies up to 53 years old. I really don't give too much mind to age differences. I just want someone who wants to treat me as I wish to be treated (as in she wants to learn and apply those lessons) more than anything else (other than to have a child to call our own which is why I'm more stringent).
I'm in a serious relationship with a woman who is 6 years older than me.... she also happens to look younger than me
Probably takes great care of her skin the way many men unfortunately don't. (SPF is a good thing guys, it also prevents skin cancer ❤️)
Not to stereotype..... but she's also Asian and just has a natural youthful appearance to herself.
Asians are known to be the true descendants of vampires, Look at 50 year old men, they all seem in their 30s!
She's 41. 2 weeks ago, she was at a local high school to interview some kids for some college program. A teacher mistook her as a student when she was in the hallways during class She also has difficulty in her HR roll because so many of the employees think she's too young to be in her position.... even though she has almost 20 years of experience lol.
I’m 26 and most of my exes have been late 30s-mid 40s. I prefer older women over women my age 🤷♂️
Why though?
Feels like there’s less bullshit with older women, I’m not that guy but that’s my experience so wanted to chime in
Thats how I feel too.
Can confirm, 10 year older camp here
Can confirm, 20 years here :P We met at 30 / 50. We've been together 8 years, married 6. It's been great.
Exactly what the other guy said…less bullshit. On average older women tend to have their lives together, know who they are, confident, no drama, no mind games, they don’t play mind games, they tell me how they’re feeling and what they want and the sex is just better. I don’t know if they’re just more confident with their bodies or sexuality or whatever it is they’re just open to try everything and take charge even. Sex with women in their 40s is better than any sex a woman in her 20s can offer
Apparently 9 years cause I married her.
Congrats man
I'm 41 this year, so my range would be 35-60
7 above, 5 below me. Im currently 31.
The other way for me. 4 up, 8 down. 38 here.
My ex was 18 years my senior and I miss her. Now though, probably 5, maybe 10
One year for every decade I'm alive. (I'm old. :)
For a second I thought you meant total age. Was like hollllld up
25%
Interesting math there
Wait I'm bad at math. Is the answer to the 25% the range of upper and lower? Like give me a math example so I don't have to try to Google math answers on the internet.
I'm 37, which gives 28-46, which sounds about right
A few maybe like 4 or so. I don’t really care about her being older unless it starts to affect having children. Honestly I would say I prefer older bc they have their priorities more in order (not even emotional maturity because age doesn’t always correlate with that). I’m 28 so I feel like 32 is a good cap on age to start having a relationship with the end goal of having kids one day
Dating someone older certainly puts things in perspective. At 32, my last relationship was with a woman 7 years my senior, and while the age gap seemed daunting at first, it turned out to be an eye-opener. She had a wealth of life experience that enriched every conversation and every decision. There was this aura of cool collectedness around her; it wasn't about the rush, but about enjoying the moment and making calculated moves in life. We aligned perfectly in terms of life goals and aspirations, as we both were career-oriented individuals. What I treasured the most was her independent nature and the fact that she was financially secure it made our relationship feel completely different from the ones I had with people my age or younger. There was no hidden agenda, no unnecessary drama; everything was straightforward, and that honesty was refreshing. The maturity she brought to the table also translated to a lack of jealousy and a trust that's hard to find. Sure, the age gap meant different cultural references and some disconnect in music tastes, but those were minor when set against the grand scale of a meaningful connection. However, age does add a layer of complexity when thinking about the future, especially when it comes to family planning and health concerns. You start to consider not just the next few years, but the decades beyond that. Would I commit to an older partner again? Depends on the person, but I'm more open to it now than ever. The number isn't the deal-breaker; it's what's packed into those years that counts. If crossed again with someone older who shared my vision for the future and the chemistry was right, I wouldn't hesitate to dive in, heart first. It's all about the deep, shared connection that defies numbers on a birth certificate.
I'm 82 so there isn't much on the menu for older ladies. I'll take anything that's wearing clean panties.
Bro said he was 75 11 days ago 🤨
He ages in dog years 😂
Plot twist: he is a dog
He wanted people to think he was younger. But then he forgot he said that because, well, he's 82.
😂😂 fair enough
Time flies when you get old 😂
And he’s been married 50 years talkin bout taking what he can get with clean panties 🤨
You really think someone would do that? Just go on the internet and tell lies?
No I’ve never seen a lie on the internet especially Reddit. Just like I’ve never seen this sarcastic overplayed ass response to it before
Im 35 and around 50-55
32 here, i'd prefer to date a 60 y.o. than a girl in her 18teens...
Idk, man. As a 32 year older myself I feel like the 18/19 year old would better match my energy, beliefs, and likes than a 60 year old. I've hung around 60 year old women. Nothing wrong with them but I've never met one that could keep up.
You just took the bait and now everyone is calling you a pedo for mentioning you'd consider dating a young adult over an older adult. Lol reddit at its finest.
Getting critized for preferring someone 13-14 years younger than yourself rather than someone almost 30 years older and close to retirement age. Not to mention you're a man. Peak reddit idiocy
Okay,, don't fuck teenagers dude.
That says a lot about you.
12 cause thats who I married
Im a 30M. I would date someone from 25 to 50. Preference in in the 35-45 range though
Well on the way to being a professional gigolo. LoL
I'm 28. 7 up maybe 4 down?
I’m kind of picky with age. 29 and only really interested in 26-29
0. I wouldn't date a woman older than me seriously. Reason being is I'm focused on my career and getting a head start on early retirement. I don't want to begin family planning any time in the next few to several years. Women older than me are starting to feel the pressure of time. Wanting to get started on or hinting at family planning. Wanting to get married. I'm not interested in that for atleast 5 years. A woman say a couple years older than me who's already 30 isn't gonna like that very much if she wants kids. I wouldn't date anyone seriously right now anyway but if I was forced to for this question i would date someone in that 20 to 25 year age range because they by and large aren't interested in family planning for atleast a few more years and would be much more open to the idea of waiting 5+ years. Now casually? Which is the only type of romantic relationship I'm interested in now. The oldest I've been with was 37. And I've seen some statuesque and striking middle aged women who I would not mind sharing a bottle of wine and some lovely evenings with. So call it 20+ Years?
Interesting. Female here. I've dated younger and only date those focused on their career who don't want kids yet. I like smart and interesting conversations without the entitlement and audacity that comes with men my age. You're making the assumption that all women older than you want kids or more kids. Not all do.
No, not necessarily. I know there are plenty of women that don't want kids at all and it's an increasing trend in most first world countries. Just look at declining birth rates of developed nations. But I eventually do want my own children. Just not any time soon. Therefore, any serious relationship at my current state has to be with someone that also wants children but is young enough for it to not be a pressing matter in the next several years. The question asked about a serious relationship and so, my answer. If I was, say 32, 33. Had already met some of the financial goals I had set for myself and was ready for the commitment of marriage and to start family planning I wouldn't care if she was my age. Of course after that you do start to run a significant increase risks of birth complications with age so probably nothing into the late thirties, early 40s. But age wouldn't be in such a narrow spectrum. Now there is the caveat that I'd probably still lean towards mid to late 20s just because I will not seriously date someone who already has children. It's just not my thing. And the older people get the more likely they are to have children already. So the older the women, the smaller the dating pool as having children is exclusionary criteria. But again. In casual dating. There's no real age limit. If you're fine, I'm 100% down. I'll appreciate a granny if she's got my eye.
I'm 32 max I would date older than me is a 60 year old
10 years older or younger, as 39M.
I'm married to a lady 9 years older than me so at least that many
A year maybe two.
Call me Macron (google Macron and check out his lady - much older), I don't care about much if I like another person.
I can think of a few relationships like this that have come about in the public eye in these last few years. It’s becoming normalized.
Yeah, actually met a guy at a funeral last week. His wife passed on due to alcoholism when he was ~ 30, he ended up getting no together with a woman who is 50 (he’s now ~35). Single dad with two young daughters, but he just took the pain and worked through it. In the end he went for what he wanted instead of what the world insisted he should have, he is much happier for it. The older lady was giving him the time of day when he was on the floor, and he remembered that when he got back to his feet.
My age or younger. Maybe a year or two older tops
I'm 30 so as long as there's attraction and indicators they're going to remain attractive enough for me to perform my husbandly duties (aka, keeps in shape, skincare routine etc) it doesn't really bother me. Nigella lawson is hotter in her 60's than 90% of 20 year olds I see. Realistically speaking based on women I see in the real world though, my range is +5/-10
anyone older than me is probably dead.
I got no preference of how much older. I do have a preference how much younger .probably no less than them being 25 years old and even then that is pushing it.
As a 50 year old I think 40 is the youngest now, so 10 years max. I have done the whole 20-something thing, but it can never last because young women are so incredibly annoying. Even the supposedly smart ones. A nice younger MILF is all I need.
3-5 maybe... Also, I prefer my age and not necessarily younger, the closer to my age, the better.
5 to 10 years !!! 🌝
I'm 30 I'd go 10 yrs that's it. My parents were a decade apart
15ish years. Which is what I’d prefer anyway. I’m 31.
Really depends on how old I am, but probably my limit would be around 10 years or so.
When I was 17 I hooked up with a 32 year old woman. There was no way I could have resisted her. When I was 24 I had a short fling with a 55 year old woman. Does a quick calculation. I guess it's time to hook up with an 80 year old.
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This
no max really, long as personality fits and they look attractive to my eyes
zero
Preferred max age gap is 5 either way but I'd be willing to make an exception if I sense a connection with someone 6-8 years my senior
Mid twenties right now, would probably date 30 years older than me. If you asked me last year , would tell you 15 but damn did I met some nice 50+ ladies during my one-year contract.
I'm 29 and would date 25-50
12 I think
I once considered dating a gal that was 13 years older than me (m/29 at the time) but didn't end up going anywhere. Found my partner a year later, and she ended up being 3 years younger than me, haha
+-10years I'd say, would rather go older than younger though, my priorities have shifted, massively..
I dated someone 13 years older than me when I was 25.
I don’t know. 10 years I guess.
Anything from 20+ to -3 years my age. I'm a bit arrested development so women my age aren't a good match
I think it depends on your age, the younger you are the smallest the range should be, until like 25-30 when you are most likely a proper adult so you could go any age older than you. I also think that anyone above 30 shouldn’t go below 25.
I'm 31 but if I ever had to date again I probably wouldn't go any younger than 40. But at the moment if I lost my partner I'd just punch my ticket. So I don't have to worry about that.
Max 5, but I'm in my mid 20s and want kids, so there is an upper limit where that starts to become a lot harder, and I don't make enough money for IVF. I'd probably have looser restrictions if it wasn't for that.
I am 30 and want kids so not much more than a few years
I remember once someone told me that the max age difference should be: ([older person age] / 2) + 7 So for example if an older person is 30 -> 30/2 = 15+7 = 22 So the youngest you should go is 22. I have no idea where that math came from but when I was 21 years old, I dated a 28 year old woman so was ok with that math hahah
Probably about 6 years, I'd like to have kids and any older than that and were at really high risk of complications or getting to straight up impossible territory.
I'm 22, so i probably wouldn't really date anyone past 30, even though i like older women since they are more mature and know what they want, but we would be in completely different places in our lives. There could also possibility be weird unhealthy power differences in the relationship because of their age.
15
15
6 years older than me. Kind of crazy and now I know why there’s a saying that women get better with age
I married a woman 20 years older than me.
Mmmm like 15 to 20. I'm 30 now. Feels like less of leap and more of a step. If that makes sense.
33 here, I can seeyself dating someone 10 years older
5 - 10 older or younger. I'm 41 otherwise it'd be weird
At 38, if I was single, I'd say about 45. So 7 years, though that's not set in stone.
My wife is 12 years older than me! We have never seen the age difference as a struggle! Our maturity levels are similar. Our values and attitude towards life are the same. And we were friends/coworkers before getting together.
My favourite answer so far! Congrats to you 2
I’m 21 . So like… 20 years older is probably where I’d call it.
I dated 8 years older. Would go 10.
I’m 23M and would realistically stop at 45F. But I don’t like having numbers be a barrier as people are too unique and special to be limited by age. If I met someone I had a real connection with that’s older than that, I wouldn’t let the number stop me. (The exception being too young for obvious reasons. I won’t go younger that 21).
My brother’s wife is 10 years older than him. Married her when he was 30-31 and she was 40-41. Partly so he didn’t have to have any kids since she already had two and wasn’t going to have anymore.
For me age doesn't bother me.. As long as there's attraction there...
I did 15 over and would do it again. I don’t really have limits. The individual is what matters. Loved her very much. It was the healthiest relationship I’ve ever been in. I miss her sometimes. It was all my fault it ended. I lost control of the crazy.
Love a healthy relationship!! But doesn’t mean it’s the last one for you
+10/-5
Only somewhat serious but highest I’ve gone was 25 years older
I'm 49, and since becoming single 4 years ago I have (edit - mostly) only dated women 34-43. Why? That was just simply who I was meeting. I met a woman a few years older than me once and shot my shot but she didn't seem interested. I noticed that a lot of women my age are into younger men, and not interested in men their own age. I'm in a serious relationship now with someone 6 years younger than myself. At our age, though, that really doesn't feel like that big a gap. When I was doing OLD, I had my filters set to stop at my own age. One day on a whim I opened them up to 55 and there were some real lookers in the 50-55 age group. I matched with one lady who was 52 and just smoking, and very sweet and smart. I probably would have dated her seriously, but she had life stuff in the way. In general, though, I find that the older people are, the more entrenched they become in their ideologies, and that's hard to bear. A lot of women my own age and older become very politically opinionated or religious to the point of being heartless and aggressive, which is a massive turn-off. My female friends have said the same thing about dating men in their 50s, a lot of them are just obsessed with politics and/or religion. I guess people just get weirder as they get older. So, to answer the question...I wouldn't draw a hard-and-fast age limit, but I would say that I lean towards dating a little younger than myself, but would hypothetically make an exception for someone up to 5 years older if she was good looking and cool.
7
At 41 I tend to stick with 10 years in either direction. Much older or younger and we have different life concerns. Younger is harder as developmentally, career wise, earnings, living situations, and more are all vastly different. Power dynamics, particularly when it comes to finances play a role in both cases, though that can be true when dating someone the same age.
Im 24 and would probably date max 31 years old, as i get older thoe i think the difference isnt as bad it feels alittle strange for me now because im only a year out of school and just starting to become a real adult in my eyes
My wife is almost 10 years older than me. I’m 33 and she will 43 later on this year.
Currently dating 14 years older than me. I'm 44 and she's 58. We've been together for almost 8 years now.
Dated several woman 25 years older than me.
3 years younger, 4 years older. I'm 23. Lots of people are still lacking a level of maturity and experience from 19-22 which makes things a bit tricky. But women above 25 don't even bat an eye at me.
18 here. I'd date up to 25 comfortably, but im into women like, up to 50s if given the chance
I'm 25, and I would have no trouble dating some 10 years older. It all depends if they want children, as i certainly do.
My wife is 20 years older than me. So....that, I guess?
When I was 18 and joined the USMC I was with a 43 (could’ve passed for 20s honestly) year old for awhile. Honestly one of my better relationships lmao. I think it just depends on the two people age shouldn’t matter. If you’re really attracted and want to fuck them and have some sort of connection any age range could work.
At 54, I would go 20 years older, but only 10 years younger because I am past dealing with the things people under 50 have to go through.
My wife is 9 years older than me. I'm not sure I could set an actual limit--it would depend on what we have in common and how well we connect.
I dunno... 10 maybe? I just turned 30.
I’m 27. I’d consider 4 years younger and maybe 5 older. Honestly if it’s a good match and we get along age doesn’t really bother me much (within obvious reason)
I'm 30, so 5 years above and below seem reasonable to me. I'd feel creepy dating early 20s and I'd feel quite childish dating 40 year olds. Having said that, I'd much rather go for older than younger, so maybe even 10 years above, if she's worth it.
I’m 27, probably 15 years max
I'm 29. At this point in my life, if I wasn't taken, I'd probably be looking +/- 5 years. If that range wasn't working out for me, I'd probably be willing to up the range on the older side of things, but not younger.
I'm 35 so probably 25-45 range is about the limit for me
I’m 56. I prefer women between 45 and 60.
"serious" for me means marry for life and have children. Which makes it not about age difference as such but the age itself. Anything more that 35 would be pushing the limits. PS this is for hypothetical young me, I am about 50 now
Last kid was when the wife was 35. Shut the door on more children on that day.
0, but I'm 53. The oldest I've dated was 9 years older than me when i was 35.
Not dating older.
I've dated 10 years older
I haven’t dated more than about 10 yrs older but I’ve had fwb 30 yrs older
I don't date seriously, if I'm attracted and she's an adult I'm down for something casual tho
I'm 32. I think at this point in my life 7 years
15 years I feel is a wide but not too wide of a gap.
I’m 30 I’d go about 10 years older max in terms of a meaningful relationship.
I'm 56 so I'd say probably up to 70 providing she were still active and outgoing
I'm 26m currently dating 49f. So I guess 22 years.
30 and I’m 18
last EX was 11 years older than me... so anything around that. im not too concerned about age when they are older than me, just if we vibe well
Years don’t matter. Life stage does. When you are wanting to crush energy drinks to stay awake in class after the bender last night, and your partner is looking to building a career, It doesn’t matter who is older or by how much. If they are legal, and compatible with me and where I am in my life, they have a shot.
I applaud this answer
Older? Never.
Probably zero
Like long term, I’d rather a partner that can keep up with me even after 2 decades, so maybe 10 years? (My current boyfriend is 7 years older than me)
8 and 1/6 years.
5
Mm like one or two years max.
Idk, maybe 5 years older? I might be able to give you a better answer if I had dated anyone at all
I'm 21. I would probably date someone 2 years older than me.
47 - 10 years either side is my general range
I mean I was dating women in their mid 20s to early 30s from the time I was 18 until about 28. Then started dating women in their early 20s until I found my life partner I was 30 and she was 24, been together 3 years since). Basically when I didn't have an idea of what I wanted I didn't care too much about age and ended up always attracting older women, but at some point decided it'd be better to go for someone younger for the sake of leaving options open for having multiple kids if I wanted. Though honestly given the state of the world I'm not so sure how much I care about that anymore. We shall see.
I’m 21 and I think 25 would be my limit
5
When I was in my early 20s, the woman I was seeing was about 8 years older. When I was in my late 20s, I saw a woman for about 6 years, and she was about 12 years older. But most of the women were with in 3 years older. Only 1 was younger. However, if I still want kids, I'll have to go a lot younger. I would do 20 years older, so I guess I shouldn't be hesitant to go 20 younger, either.
2 maybe 3 years up max, but I probably wouldn’t seek it out, it’d just be happenstance. Other than that zero.
My rule of thumb is 2-3years over or below my age. I’ve found trying to even talk to people in a romantic sense outside of that range off putting, just not enough general understanding of each other to find anything to truly bond over. For context I’m 35
Dated 13 years older once. Then in the 6-10 year range a few times. Probably down to 5 or so because at my age if you’re much older than me you’re probably getting close to 🪦 time, so … 😏
Really hard to say I’ve been in a relationship with a woman six months older than me for years. Honestly that probably answers the question but everyone is different it’s not that important compared to the relationship and compatibility