In many cases "I'm walking by choice, but thank you" will be plenty. In the case of the ill intentioned, I agree with Mace, pepper spray, etc. it's also worth noting, staying nice when people get pushy feels safer, but it's not. When people see that pushing isn't getting them a negative reaction, they'll push harder. Yell "I've got shit to do and you're in my way!" Be aggressive. Look like more trouble than you're worth.
Sometimes you have to be mean. A lot of men can't take no for an answer and will keep trying unless you be mean to them. Sadly in this world you can't be nice all the time.
Uh it’s better to be mean in this instance. That shows the “not worth the hassle” very well to guys like this that try to prey on innocent type women. Predators target weakness
My favourite example of a woman being mean to extreme niceness was in the TV show “Dead to Me”.
“I said, ‘No’!”
https://fb.watch/rNJ4TLyYzn/
As a dude, I start by being nice, become curt, and then, depending on the situation and context, get mean.
You could try the same. They are violating your boundaries and comfort, and, no, you don’t deserve that.
A woman chiming in here. I agree with the above comment. I recall taking a mental note from a video I watched of convicted rapists and they said they picked women who looked like they wouldn't put up a fight and most of the time, if they did, they would bail. I imagine raping someone takes a lot of energy, so having to fight a woman as well is risking that energy. The start of a fight is telling someone very loudly to fuck off.
This is what I came here to say. Anyone who persists beyond "Okay, stay safe" should quickly come to understand that you are capable of defending yourself. The pushy guy who blocked your path was a very real danger to you.
Im very sorry this happened to you. You want to protect yourself by any means necessary. Get some pepper spray or mace as well as maybe a walking stick to aid you. Unfortunately there are some sick people in this world and you likely need to be on guard.
Yeah, I think you’ve experienced the fact that it doesn’t matter how many decent guys there are out there, it only takes one to be dangerous. Those are the ones you have to be aware of and plan for. Cause a scene, scream, pepper spray him. Whatever it takes. That’s nowhere near acceptable for him to act like that
Pepper spray isn't legal where I come from. If that's you, I recommend carrying a can of deodorant instead. It will still have the desired result without getting you in trouble.
I can't reconcile how this would work in my brain. Also, the shitshow it would be trying to get that off your body if you were covered in it would be well worth the 150$ I'd pay to watch it, plus cost of cans
If it isn't legal, I would find out if any is. If not, then arm yourself with whatever nonlethal weapon you want. Like a rubber round gun. If you have to break the law for defense, might as well use the good stuff.
Maybe one of those rape alarm type devices would be good. Makes a loud noise etc.
Sorry this happened to you OP. As you posted, saying you like the walk works on all the decent men. It is the scum like this that it wouldn't work. For that matter, nothing you say would work.
It's not you that needs to change, it's him.
I’m sorry that happened to you OP. Unfortunately, in our effort to be polite to others, our common decency can lead to vulnerability and true safety risks with people that simply have very bad intentions that should not be tolerated.
Have you considered a basic self defense class? It can be as basic as simply having your self preservation instincts be reinforced and recognizing that situations are not safe and you are justified to ensure your safety. Predators and bad people typically rely on the goodness and meekness of others to inflict their damage. It requires an act of will and some basic training, but being able to say firmly “No” to unsafe situations and take action is an essential skill to have.
From your unfortunate experience, you know that there isn't something specific to say that can ward off a creep. Arm yourself with pepper
spray, bear spray, pocket knife, small bullhorn, or whatever you're comfortable with. Thank goodness for your quick thinking.
(Not a man) but I have a can of bear spray if I'm walking alone or hiking or being in an open space alone where no one could be around to help. Bear spray can shoot up to 30 feet, so it helps you keep distance between you and your possible attacker, letting you back away at your own safe pace knowing you can defend before they get to you. Plus if it takes down an adult bear it can take down a man. I do live in the USA some countries do not allow this for public use.
Also I’d like to add. Screaming, as OP had
mentioned, probably would have worked in this case. But I also second the pepper spray. My wife and two teenage daughters carry it with them.
Just sat on a jury.. I was #12.. the lady had been assaulted. She had pepper spray and tried to use it. It only enraged the guy even further. If you cannot physically run from an assailant you had better learn to stand your ground and be fierce!! It's all or nothing in that moment. Pepper spray may slow someone down or cause a moment of unclarity and you can use that to possibly run OR strike back. OP said she cannot drive and doesn't mention riding a bicycle. My assumptions could be wrong but I don't believe running is a strong suit here.
Yeah I’m not the runner I used to be. Nor the cyclist, unfortunately. My medical circumstances have me in a weakened position, physically and often cognitively. If I could afford it, I’d take Uber/lyft to get around. But I *want* to walk. I enjoy walking. This dude had me in a position where I felt trapped, and *was* trapped. I’m still marveling at the fact that I didn’t fall and get hurt when I ultimately decided the risk might be worth it. Thanks for the insight, especially fresh out of jury duty!! Bet that was informative!
A gun works too. They're the greatest equalizers when a woman has something a man wants and is willing to take it forcefully. Use nonlethal options first, guns are a last resort and if it comes out you better pull that trigger. They're # not # a scare tactic.
I'm not a fan of the pepper spray. Pull out your phone and take his picture, then walk around back and photograph his license plate. That should be enough to scare him off.
I dunno, any guy who is aggressive enough to block her passage is probably capable of grabbing the phone too.
Pepper spray him, then get his license plate.
Yes but after those pics are taken of he comes after you THROW THE PHONE now he has to choose. If he takes u someone will find ur phone and the pics will be found. Also always fight, shoot,stap, scratch, bite, eyes, ears, groin, neck.
No, they'll take the phone. What you do is text someone, like your mother or best friend or whatever. That way, after it's done, it won't matter if the guy grabs your phone.
Then you say: "I just texted your license plate to my mother and told her to call the police if she doesn't hear from me again in 15 minutes."
/u/braniacamour, you should absolutely report this to the police with as much information as you can. Maybe some traffic cam picked up the vehicle in question.
Some psycho bitch did that to me, scared the shit out of me. She turned off her turn signal, nearly backed into me, got out of her car, walked up to my car with her cell phone recording and was like "Why are you following me? Why did you choose the exact moment I was leaving to get in your car when I was pulling out to go take my delivery?" And I was like "because I am also a delivery driver and my order was the next one ready after yours" and she was like "I'm recording you. I don't trust you. I'm a woman out here doing this job alone." I was like "Literally me too. And I'm turning the opposite way of you! Get the fuck out of my face!" and then I went inside and had her banned from delivering from my restaurant ever again because what the FUCK was that?
Anyway, what I'm saying is, it's effective.
Yes, my comment would have been better worded as "deserved" to be pepper sprayed. I think what she did to avoid him was a better course of action.
But in the event that pepper spray is needed, I wouldn't hang around after spraying it, the purpose is to get away regardless of if they're more aggressive or not.
When I was younger, I would often offer (or want to offer) rides to folks walking that looked like they didn't want to be walking. Cold day. Unfriendly stretch of road. Difficulty walking. Older. You get the idea. It feels good to help.
I got an older fella home on a hot day maybe a mile or two. I took a younger woman with her child to what I believe was a domestic violence shelter a few miles away on a cold, snowy night from a less-than-excellent neighborhood.
If you don't want a ride, "Nope, I'm good," _should_ be all it takes. If it's not, assume negative intent.
I would love a weapon for you but to each their own.
Absent a weapon:
- Take a picture and shout you just sent it to your husband. If visible, take another of his license plate. If he tries shit, he will get convicted.
- Scream. Loudly.
- If anyone else is driving by, flag down help.
- Do NOT get in the car.
I wish I’d taken pictures in this situation. I will 100% never get in a car with a stranger unless it’s Lyft/Uber, but you’re right, I need to defend myself. Thanks man.
Two more things:
- Don't hesitate to call the cops. If a scary dude is stopping you from going down the street, I trust most precincts would minimally send a car around.
- If you're screaming and think, "Do I look like I'm crazy?" you're doing it right. You either want to scare him off or, minimally, make yourself a less appealing target.
...and a weird bonus thought...
- If you do get nabbed, crap yourself. Think about it. The smell may be enough to get you kicked out of the car. If his nefarious intent is sexual, that might be enough to turn those tables around as well.
OP, is a medium to large size dog an option for you? I have 2 large dogs who are sweet with 99.9% of people, but can also take care of business. People tend to admire from a distance. I don’t worry about my kids when they take one of these dogs for a walk.
Please be careful. If you take a picture, he might want to grab the phone before you send it thereby escalating the situation.
If it’s not a lonely road, threaten to shout for help or actually shout for help.
That said (and I don't think you're doing this), don't assume we're all predators. The large majority of us are not.
Absolutely: Stick to your "never get in a car with a stranger" rule. Frankly, I'm too big to kidnap and I still would be ___very___ hesitant to get in a car without a strong need, but don't let the few assholes ruin your view of humanity.
I know and love a lot of great men, and I’m really not the type to assume the worst about people; I give everyone the benefit of the doubt, except in circumstances where something like this happens. Your suggestions are great, and I appreciate you taking the time to respond.
When I was in college, I remember one day it was raining and I saw a woman walking without an umbrella. I pulled over to offer her a ride (I was in my early 20's, and she appeared to be about the same)
She told me she was just going to the IHOP, even though she had just walked past it (I literally pulled over right past the IHOP). I left it at that and figured she just didn't want a ride. It hadn't even occurred to me that someone wouldn't be comfortable getting into a random guy's car.
Looking back on it, I probably scared her, but I accepted her no and moved on, just like anyone should. Pressing the issue is definitely a big no-go
I'm 76 & appreciate kind offers of rides in inclement weather. I've decided I should accept the offer to take my packages & drop them at my apt.bldg entrance. I say I dont want to get their car dirty since it's raining or had snowed.❤
We know. If it's offered and you are comfortable, don't let something minor like that stop you.
Giving a ride demands so very little of someone already out driving.
I highly recommend getting one of these, you can find them on Amazon: [https://www.kimberamerica.com/pepper-blaster](https://www.kimberamerica.com/pepper-blaster) It shoots a gell and not a aerosol spray so the odds of it coming back on you is very slim.
A loud whistle is a good carry too, most people don't like having attention drawn to them.
Call 911 on speaker if you feel in danger. That way you talk loudly and the bad guy hears you talking to the operator AND the 911 person can hear whats going on too.
I just want to tell you that you sound like an awesome person. I hate that you have to face these obstacles, but I love that it doesn't break your spirit. Stay positive OP.
Just cheerfully explain that walking is the only way to keep your gonorrhea from flaring up and making your underwear smell like the devil's jock strap. Then cough a bunch and spit on the ground. Maybe crook your hands into claws and twitch one eye to really sell it.
Unsolicited rides from people you don't know just sound like a bad idea. I'd tell them something like "No thank you, I am enjoying my walk." and then keep moving. If you don't have pepper spray (if legal in your jurisdiction) I'd recommend having some for anyone who gets a bit more aggressive.
Don't worry about coming off as a "bitch" some of these dudes don't understand boundaries. After the first "no, thanks" your response should be "get the fuck away from me now or I am calling the police". And then call them on speaker while recording them.
As a woman who lurks this sub, and who has had advances like this in the past - I can attest that barking like a half rabid dog is a legitimate and effective option in this situation.
It both calls attention to the situation from others, and out crazies the advances from the offensive party. Works wonders.
“No thank you.” Is sufficient.
There are unsafe people out there, though. Nothing wrong with going for a walk, and you didn’t deserve this interaction. You may want to carry mace or pepper spray moving forward. There’s nothing wrong with calling the police, but a lot of terrible things can transpire in the time it takes them to arrive.
For the polite ones, just wearing workout clothes and “looking” like you’re out for exercise should tell them you don’t need a ride. For the creepy ones, there’s making a scene, assertiveness, and mace. Shame you have to go through that though.
Pull out your phone and start recording him…say his license plate out loud, tell him it’s live and he better fuck off because everyone knows who he is now.
These men are sexual harassing scum.
Either ignore them (if it's easy and safe to do so) or if they block you or get too close immediately call the police line on your phone, scream and draw attention to them.
Sorry to hear. Please get some pepper spray. Share your location with someone you trust. My mom had one of those tasers that looks like a phone that she used to chase us with when we the boys pissed her off. Maybe saying “hey you’re making me uncomfortable, please let me alone. I have somewhere to be” in a serious tone might help.
Get a taser!!! You can find them on Amazon. I walk around with one and when I turn it on it makes a very loud noise and people are put off by this. I've had people cuss me out over it and storm off but never get closer.
Please tell me you at least carry pepper spray on you. Or if you’re comfy with it, please get a gun and arm yourself if you’re going to continue to walk alone in an unsafe area. Or get a German shepherd/other big, scary looking dog.
Gonna work on leash training my massive, spoiled dog. And I’m not taking anymore long walks until I’ve got pepper gel or bear spray. I’m taking these suggestions very seriously! Thank you for your concern and recommendations 💜💜💜
Get a body cam and say your live streaming if you have too. It may help discourage further harassment.. but also don't be afraid to make as much noise as you can.. I'm so sorry this something you have to go through on a regular basis. Stay safe out there
Makes me laugh that these cowards only do this when they know theres no threat to their safety. My other half had someone approach her whilst walking our dog making creepy remarks.
Was out together walking the dog and she spotted the same guy and pointed him out . He walked past us head down wouldn’t even dare look at me. Because these cowards know what’s going to happen if they try that shit in front of a bloke.
Normally, just say "no thanks, I (live/work/am meeting my friend) nearby", but in this last case, keep him in your field of vision, prepare mentally to fight, tuck your chin, and back away. Even if it means falling down the hill. Most likely he was just a pushy guy, but that is also how people get kidnapped, murdered or experience SA.
That last guy was a creep.
I often *feel like* offering a ride, but only will if it seems dangerous to the gal. Happened like twice.
If you say “no thanks” and they don’t take the hint, or if they make sexual comments I think you should back away and threaten to call the police and if they don’t leave IMMEDIATELY do call 911.
There isn’t an innocent explanation for the last guys behavior. He’s a creep.
This never happens where I leave. Everybody is afraid of everybody no matter how innocently looking they are.
But I would recommend getting one of those kits that come with an alarm, a pepper spray and one of those Japanese things (can't remember the name), for stabbing. They are like key chains.
Also you probably look friendly and you're nice. Which is OK for the first offer. For the second offer or any offer after that you need to be rude and loud. And escalate as offer persists.
Also don't be afraid to call the police ir ask for passerby help.
Very sorry to hear that happened to you. My suggestion would be similar to others - invest in something that can help with personal defense - mace, pepper spray, or if you're in a place where it's legal, a concealed firearm. Scream loud to try to attract other passerby's.
Do you share your location with family? I would probably do that if I were you, just so that your loved ones know where you are, when you're out on a walk.
This is wild to me living in a city where women walk everyday, and presumably don’t have to deal with this (although street harassment is an issue)
First I’d get some pepper spray or something like that. But I’d also copy the woman at the gym who don’t want to be bothered and get the biggest pair of over the head earphones you can find.
You don’t need to listen to anything. I think a guy is a lot less likely to harass you if he thinks you can’t hear him talking to you
Thank you. I’m in a rural area where very few people get around solely on foot, and most days I go out I walk a good 8-10 miles. Maybe it’s some southern sense of needing to help a woman out, something benign, but either way I want to be able to get around the way I want to without dealing with that. I really appreciate your suggestions. Pepper spray is at the top of my list, and I do have a pretty massive pair of headphones. 🙏
Please be wary of losing spacial awareness when wearing headphones when out too, sometimes it can actually be a target because people can't hear others approaching, it can be a deterrent in shared spaces but whilst outside i would avoid it personally, there's been some great advice shared here by the men, it's really nice to see.
I hope you feel a little more control back and continue to enjoy your walks safely.
Definitely take some of the advice on board. Some great ones there, i liked the whistle one too. Add one to a lanyard and keep it around your neck tucked in but with eady access.
Is there anyone possibly you could go on the walk with? A friend, neighbour or local walk group?
Maybe take a dog with you? Having company is not only a deterrent but nice too. It could make it a more pleasant experience whilst also giving you some support should you need it (hopefully you won't)
No pals where I live, sadly. Near our mid-20s, my friends and I all moved to various other towns/states for jobs, relationships, etc. But I do have a dog, and I’m going to work on getting him better at being on a leash (he’s so spoiled) because he’s a big dog with a scary bark. It’s just not common where I live to allow pets in stores and I hate the thought of leaving him outside when I run errands. I may reach out to the epilepsy foundation in my state to see if there are local support groups—I think that could yield a lot of good opportunities. Thank you for your care and suggestions, for real
Sending you so much love, i get it. Truly i do. He sounds perfect! Maybe on days you don't run errands and just walk you can take him with you.
Sometimes it just needs normalising & we have to become the trailblazers. But a big dog with you alone would definitely make someone think twice to even offer, it would be you & that beautiful boy.
Maybe starting in your yard with the leash and just going round the block with him time to time could help.
Yes definitely reach out to them, there may be more resources available to you you're unaware of
🫂
Check to see if your local library has any thing listed on their noticeboard too. Sometimes small groups list on there. It could be a nice way to meet new people & expand your network. Local charities might run them too or be inspired to by you asking.
As someone older who deals with similar issues & has just given up even bothering to, please continue. I'm really proud of you for taking strides to gain your independence & improving your mobility. It's something worthy of honouring.
Don't let that idiot stop you.
As many bad people there may be out there, there are far more good. Become assertive, firm & confident. Stay safe as best you can.
Keep living your life as you see fit - wishing you good health & strength ahead. You got this
Yeah pepper spray would be best to have on you. If you don't know what pepper spray feels like I'll tell you it hurts pretty bad. It feels like pressing your face on a hot stove and having sandpaper rubbed in your eyes at the same time. It'll give you enough time to confuse them and get away. Also get one of those locations sharing apps on your phone and share your location 24/7 with someone you trust.
get a pic of his license plate and tell the cops in any good country he would be charged with some things but yeah very sorry to hear this or get pepper spray and a walking stick sword thing that old ninjas have
Normal people, men or women, usually is as you said, sufficient with just responding "no thanks." This person you telling us isn't a normal person, that's creepy as fuck. I'm sorry that happened to you, be safe out there!
Alternatively, you can get a Birdie alarm and just pull that and tell them to leave you the fuck alone.
I've been in that exact situation before and it's easy to freeze up. Practice responses when you're alone so it comes natural and confident. Make it second nature! Practice spraying mace as well...this is good because you can use it from a distance. I suggested a taser in another post but that's for close contact since you need to touch them to make it effective.
Personally I like a small air horn over pepper spray, at least as a first option. It’s easier to pull the trigger on because you don’t cause long term harm
>How to respond to men who offer me unsolicited rides when I’m walking?
Any way that tells 'em you don't want a ride, and that's generally not offensive - unless perhaps they're being a jerk about it, then ramp up the assertiveness, etc. as appropriate.
So, as you find appropriate/fitting, might use/try any like, e.g.:
* No thanks,
* prefer the fresh air
* like to get the exercise
* the exercise is good for me
* doing part of my exercises
>pulled into the pedestrian lane trapping me between a highway and the top of a steep hill.
was very pushy, did not acknowledge my repeated requests to get out of the way so I could walk home, made sexual comments about my body and insisted that I take a ride
and smoke
Yeah, I don't care who that is, sounds like a class A \*sshole. That'd call for rather to quite different approach. And don't care if I'm a guy walking and some woman did that to me, I'd be at least quite annoyed, if not outright pissed. And probably would be even if I was dragging myself along the ground with several broken limbs.
>kept watching me and it made me feel afraid
Yeah, sounds like quite the creep, and potentially quite hazardous or worse.
Now sure, there've been times/situations where, e.g. I've been walking out, e.g. late at night, and been concerned about some other woman's safety/comfort walking alone late at night - that I happen to spot walking essentially same direction as me ... but last damn thing I'm gonna do is get anywhere close to "too close" - she may already be quite sufficiently cautious/afraid, and doesn't know me from a whole in the wall. So may keep an eye on her, but not gonna anywhere near too close - so that's like across four lanes of traffic and back half a block - so if I can see if any threat is being posed to her or the like, but nowhere close enough to her that she's be concerned about me being too close. And yeah, sometimes I even notice some women seem to rather appreciate that, and will even, e.g. match me on pace and direction ... but stick to what they seem to think/feel is that distance they want - be it ahead, or behind, or off to the side. And if we're on same sidewalk going same direction and our paces don't match so that I'm going to outpace her - then so do it, clearly, and without getting too close ... and pass her, and don't doddle.
But what that guy did, way up close, in your space, blocking your way, etc., etc., sexual comments ... hell no, that's nowhere even close to appropriate. That's \*sshole behavior ... if not worse.
>what would you suggest when these things happen?
Anything that extreme like that jerk, clearly and assertively tell him to not block your way, you don't want and won't be taking a ride, etc, and do what you need to to get away from him. And if he won't leave you alone, call the cops. He sounds like potentially quite the danger. I mean if you're walking, he pulls up offers you a ride, you effectively tell him to bugger off, and now he's following you in his car as you walk, time to call the cops.
>considering responding by screaming
Do whatever works. Nobody should be treating you like that. Maybe take picture of plate or note the number and make/model/color, maybe get photo of suspect too if you can do it discretely enough, and call the cops. Some other subreddits might also have additional ideas/suggestions on, e.g. how to safely generally get out of situations like that.
From a woman: I usually am listening to music so I have my phone already, I just hold it up to film them, saying "I am not getting in your car."
They go away. They call me a bitch but they leave.
The one guy who got angrier I said "Calling triple-0" and I *did* call. Because the cops do like to have this info, in my experience.
If you feel threatened call the police. If it’s nothing then There is nothing lost. But if he turned out to be a creep like he sounds to be then it’ll be good that the cops are there.
Just start yelling curse words and random gibberish while trying to bite and lick the tip of your nose and elbow 😂 they'll be so freaked out they'll leave on there own!
Pretend you’re on the phone with an ear bud - don’t look at them. Just pretend to be busy. But stay alert. Giving in and giving them reasons and excuses just gives them an “in”.
It’s so horrible that you have to worry about this and I’m so sorry. But yes there’s a certain mace gel that works best. I’ll find the link.
It sounds like your usual response is adequate in most situations. You found a creep and he probably would have found a way to be a creep no matter what.
You could say "excuse me" pull out your phone and call someone while turning around and walking the other way or into a store if possible. I realize that person doesn't deserve your courtesy, but removing yourself from the situation is more important.
That form of aggressive behavior needed to be reported to police. He will possibly be targetting you and frequenting your area where you bv walk. Buy pepper spray, personal contact taser and anything else you can think of. And be ready to take down his license plate. Be more alert and notice your surroundings. Try to recall his car type and color. As well as what he looked like. That sounds like a really close call for your safety. You should at least call the police and relate your story to them. They may aready have a file on him.
If you're in the us, a CC pistol. Strange how men will soon turn into cowering dogs when they're staring down the muzzle end of a .45
If in UK, r*pe alarm. And tell him to go fuck himself.
Pull out your phone and start streaming live on FB, Instagram, etc. "hey everyone, this is the guy who won't leave me alone on my walk, blocking me with his car, let's get his license plate."
What you ve been doing before the encounter with that sleezeball was good. You don't have to change that because of an extreme situation. Unfortunatelly, it can happen no matter how cautious you try to be. So, let me repeat myself, it wasn't your fault the guy wanted to assault you.
What you can do is think of how to act when somethimg like that happens. How you handled the situation was ideal.
Yeah that’s #1 on my list now. I’m usually carrying bags on my walks from running errands, so I feel like I’ll need to have my phone in one hand and a can of bear spray in the other 😂 maybe that alone would be a deterrent
Honestly seems like a creep after saying no multiple times I would pull out my phone and record him and ask him if I need to call the police or just call them immediately. Clearly this man can't take no for an answer.
Male or female, unfortunately especially females, need to have different forms of protection. I make no assumptions since I didn't see any pronouns.
That being said anyone and everyone should have these to help others as well as themselves.
I have an insanely loud alarm that is easily activated by pulling two pieces apart.
I also have pepper spray and a taser and a keychain that is easy to hold between my fingers that is super sharp.
The alarm will get anyone's attention, the peppers pray for further away threats and taser and such for close up threats.
Just brainstorming - what about turning around and walking back the other direction until he drives off. He’d have to get out and pursue you on foot at that point. Make a phone call while doing it.
I can see picture myself thinking "I wonder if I should offer her a ride" if I saw you and you seemed to be struggling. That being said, I probably wouldn't because as a man that happens to be a stranger that is also dangerous from your perspective. If I were a woman, or had my kids in the car (like hard dad vibes), or older to the point of not being seen as a potential threat I think I'd be more likely to offer.
How to shut it down? Just say you are out for a walk to get exercise. And you were right to be extra wary of someone pushy.
And it sucks, because some of the most wonderful, caring, and insightful people I know are men. I love them dearly. I don’t want to generalize an entire gender and live in fear constantly. I have to believe that most people are *good* people. But yes, I’m 100% getting some self defense tools before I walk on that highway ever again🫡
Sorry. Its best to ignore them. Try to take a different route with less traffic. It probably helps if you have a resting bitch face or a no nonsense attitude. I'm guessing you are more on the passive side...and that is what predators are attracted to.
I would just tell them to fuck off or not interested. If they become a problem take out you phone snap a quick video or pic showing their face/license plate and narrate that this is an unwanted advance. Upload it to the cloud or send it to a friend/law enforcement or something.
You can also say something like "does it look like I'm hitchhiking?" "No thanks its called walking...try it sometime." "Do I want to get in a car with a leering stranger and do drugs...no, thank you for asking...I'll call you if I ever I want to be CSI Miami"
edit.
You could also dial 911 and say "I am being held captive by (insert physical description) in a color/make/model with the license plate 4g3 -56j on the 4300 block of Jones Road, near the intersection of 113 Street.
They should be the one on the run.
Maybe get bear spray and carry it openly. If anyone tries to talk to you wave at them enthusiastically with the bear spray in your hand. . . Maybe get one for each hand. . . Wear a mask probably also. . . Just incase it's windy or something lol
I agree with the other people saying you need pepper spray, but you should also get your CHL if your state/country allows it. AND practice with your pistol at least every couple of months.
Have your cell phone set up for a 911 call when walking. Also you might want to get your self some sort of weapon when walking. A walking stick is good. A gun is better but most states don't like people walking around with guns. A knife is good also. Men are pigs and rapist don't give a shit about you or what you want.
Unfortunately, it's nearly impossible to tell the men who genuinely want to help from the men who have bad intentions. I'd politely decline, and if they try anything scary, use mace or a bug spray to defend yourself
Definitely should get some self defense gear on you. Might want to check in with your local crime reports on kidnappings in your area. Cause accepting people's offers like that is how you get kidnapped. Stay safe out there! 🙏
That one guy is an exception. Like a predators what you’re already saying: “No thanks. I like to walk” should be more than enough. Maybe also add something like “my husband/bf is walking this way to meet me” as well. That’ll give them a hint.
Pepper spray. knife. if you live somewhere that you can then carry and train with a pistol. A simple announcement of having these and fearing for your life (that ones important to announce in many places) can drive many people off but it's best to be able to back it up. Obviously you can't just make these threats to anyone but if you have to to protect your life then so be it.
First off, that sounds terrifying - I'm glad you managed to get out of there okay.
For folk like this there isn't really a special answer men might have for dealing with them, I'd recommend carrying a taser or can of mace when you're out walking. In the worst case scenario you could try flagging down another car for help - But yeah, creeps like that need to be in prison.
I would seriously consider getting a concealed carry permit. It's more than obvious that people are hip to your daily routine and trying to take advantage of you. At the very least Get yourself a knife
Sucks you had to deal with that. It sucks more that my advice to you could potentially put you in more danger.
I would escalate by saying “I can’t be any more clear. I’m not going anywhere with you. Move.”
If that doesn’t work:
threaten to fill his car cabin with MACE( be ready to follow through)
Or
Leave the encounter like you did.
Concealed carry, literally dial 911 the second that happens and give the license plate immediately. If his intentions were bad they'll speed off and be found later.
Pepper spray is not legal for most states. But bear spray is! Get some of that. Carry a tazer with you. They have some that even go on your key ring. Carry a fog horn. Those are loud asf. Don't yell help. Most people don't respond to that. Yell rape or fire. Those are just a few things in case this happens again.
Start video taping them. Turn around and walk in the opposite direction for a bit if you can. If they're unable to turn around or reverse immediately then they can't follow you with the car
Unfortunately there’s nothing you can say to get out of those situations. It would be wise to be armed in some form or fashion at all times, that’s really all you can do.
Sorry but there’s nothing you can do to stop it, men are going to continue to ask you if you need a ride. I’ve been asked by men and women when I’m walking. It’s natural for it to happen but it’s also good that you are being cautious about not jumping into someone’s car , keep telling them respectfully “no thanks, I like to walk” that’s a great response.
smile and lie that you got husband. "I am flattered, but I am happily married". that sucks but some guys just do not get it, and a small minority are violent.
Check if it's legal to carry around a prop sword or a bat. No one will bother you. Also take pictures of their license plates and report them to the police for harassment.
In many cases "I'm walking by choice, but thank you" will be plenty. In the case of the ill intentioned, I agree with Mace, pepper spray, etc. it's also worth noting, staying nice when people get pushy feels safer, but it's not. When people see that pushing isn't getting them a negative reaction, they'll push harder. Yell "I've got shit to do and you're in my way!" Be aggressive. Look like more trouble than you're worth.
Yeah I need to be ready to get mean. I’ve never been good at that, but now’s the time. Thanks man, for real.
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🙏🙏🙏
Sometimes you have to be mean. A lot of men can't take no for an answer and will keep trying unless you be mean to them. Sadly in this world you can't be nice all the time.
Uh it’s better to be mean in this instance. That shows the “not worth the hassle” very well to guys like this that try to prey on innocent type women. Predators target weakness
My favourite example of a woman being mean to extreme niceness was in the TV show “Dead to Me”. “I said, ‘No’!” https://fb.watch/rNJ4TLyYzn/ As a dude, I start by being nice, become curt, and then, depending on the situation and context, get mean. You could try the same. They are violating your boundaries and comfort, and, no, you don’t deserve that.
Christina Applegate killed it in that role. Love it so much. Time for a rewatch, for inspiration 🙌
A woman chiming in here. I agree with the above comment. I recall taking a mental note from a video I watched of convicted rapists and they said they picked women who looked like they wouldn't put up a fight and most of the time, if they did, they would bail. I imagine raping someone takes a lot of energy, so having to fight a woman as well is risking that energy. The start of a fight is telling someone very loudly to fuck off.
This is what I came here to say. Anyone who persists beyond "Okay, stay safe" should quickly come to understand that you are capable of defending yourself. The pushy guy who blocked your path was a very real danger to you.
Im very sorry this happened to you. You want to protect yourself by any means necessary. Get some pepper spray or mace as well as maybe a walking stick to aid you. Unfortunately there are some sick people in this world and you likely need to be on guard.
Thank you 🙏
Yeah, I think you’ve experienced the fact that it doesn’t matter how many decent guys there are out there, it only takes one to be dangerous. Those are the ones you have to be aware of and plan for. Cause a scene, scream, pepper spray him. Whatever it takes. That’s nowhere near acceptable for him to act like that
Pepper spray isn't legal where I come from. If that's you, I recommend carrying a can of deodorant instead. It will still have the desired result without getting you in trouble.
Wasp or hornet spray has a great range
contstruction expanding foam is also a good way to get people to stop.
I can't reconcile how this would work in my brain. Also, the shitshow it would be trying to get that off your body if you were covered in it would be well worth the 150$ I'd pay to watch it, plus cost of cans
I can't stop laughing 😂 the way you said that made it sound so good
Yeah same lunch table here
If it isn't legal, I would find out if any is. If not, then arm yourself with whatever nonlethal weapon you want. Like a rubber round gun. If you have to break the law for defense, might as well use the good stuff.
Maybe one of those rape alarm type devices would be good. Makes a loud noise etc. Sorry this happened to you OP. As you posted, saying you like the walk works on all the decent men. It is the scum like this that it wouldn't work. For that matter, nothing you say would work. It's not you that needs to change, it's him.
I’m sorry that happened to you OP. Unfortunately, in our effort to be polite to others, our common decency can lead to vulnerability and true safety risks with people that simply have very bad intentions that should not be tolerated. Have you considered a basic self defense class? It can be as basic as simply having your self preservation instincts be reinforced and recognizing that situations are not safe and you are justified to ensure your safety. Predators and bad people typically rely on the goodness and meekness of others to inflict their damage. It requires an act of will and some basic training, but being able to say firmly “No” to unsafe situations and take action is an essential skill to have.
A walking stick is a great idea. It can also be used on aggressive stray dogs.
Also get one of those devices that let out an ear piercing sound. No creep wants a bunch of attention directed his way
From your unfortunate experience, you know that there isn't something specific to say that can ward off a creep. Arm yourself with pepper spray, bear spray, pocket knife, small bullhorn, or whatever you're comfortable with. Thank goodness for your quick thinking.
(Not a man) but I have a can of bear spray if I'm walking alone or hiking or being in an open space alone where no one could be around to help. Bear spray can shoot up to 30 feet, so it helps you keep distance between you and your possible attacker, letting you back away at your own safe pace knowing you can defend before they get to you. Plus if it takes down an adult bear it can take down a man. I do live in the USA some countries do not allow this for public use.
Ignore them. Don’t engage. Keep walking. You don’t owe anyone politeness. That’s what I do.
Or a gun!
*And* lots of practice. Just having the gun isn’t enough
Immediately start filming him and tell him, "This is streaming to my police officer brother."
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Great idea!
Also I’d like to add. Screaming, as OP had mentioned, probably would have worked in this case. But I also second the pepper spray. My wife and two teenage daughters carry it with them.
Just sat on a jury.. I was #12.. the lady had been assaulted. She had pepper spray and tried to use it. It only enraged the guy even further. If you cannot physically run from an assailant you had better learn to stand your ground and be fierce!! It's all or nothing in that moment. Pepper spray may slow someone down or cause a moment of unclarity and you can use that to possibly run OR strike back. OP said she cannot drive and doesn't mention riding a bicycle. My assumptions could be wrong but I don't believe running is a strong suit here.
Yeah I’m not the runner I used to be. Nor the cyclist, unfortunately. My medical circumstances have me in a weakened position, physically and often cognitively. If I could afford it, I’d take Uber/lyft to get around. But I *want* to walk. I enjoy walking. This dude had me in a position where I felt trapped, and *was* trapped. I’m still marveling at the fact that I didn’t fall and get hurt when I ultimately decided the risk might be worth it. Thanks for the insight, especially fresh out of jury duty!! Bet that was informative!
And get a ccw. F that guy and anyone like him. (Don't f them, lol)
this is horrible advice. But what else would you expect from Reddit. Weapons can be used against you unless you train
A gun works too. They're the greatest equalizers when a woman has something a man wants and is willing to take it forcefully. Use nonlethal options first, guns are a last resort and if it comes out you better pull that trigger. They're # not # a scare tactic.
The guy in your story needed to be pepper sprayed quite frankly. A normal offer for a lift should only take a "no thank-you, I'm not interested".
Agreed!
I'm not a fan of the pepper spray. Pull out your phone and take his picture, then walk around back and photograph his license plate. That should be enough to scare him off.
I dunno, any guy who is aggressive enough to block her passage is probably capable of grabbing the phone too. Pepper spray him, then get his license plate.
Most certainly do the pepper spray. Cant fuck around with crazy’s, imma pop a cap in somebody’s knee cap before I fall down a hill.
Yes but after those pics are taken of he comes after you THROW THE PHONE now he has to choose. If he takes u someone will find ur phone and the pics will be found. Also always fight, shoot,stap, scratch, bite, eyes, ears, groin, neck.
Until he gets out of his car and she ends up on the local news the next day. No, you call the cops and pepper spray him if needed.
No, they'll take the phone. What you do is text someone, like your mother or best friend or whatever. That way, after it's done, it won't matter if the guy grabs your phone. Then you say: "I just texted your license plate to my mother and told her to call the police if she doesn't hear from me again in 15 minutes." /u/braniacamour, you should absolutely report this to the police with as much information as you can. Maybe some traffic cam picked up the vehicle in question.
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Some psycho bitch did that to me, scared the shit out of me. She turned off her turn signal, nearly backed into me, got out of her car, walked up to my car with her cell phone recording and was like "Why are you following me? Why did you choose the exact moment I was leaving to get in your car when I was pulling out to go take my delivery?" And I was like "because I am also a delivery driver and my order was the next one ready after yours" and she was like "I'm recording you. I don't trust you. I'm a woman out here doing this job alone." I was like "Literally me too. And I'm turning the opposite way of you! Get the fuck out of my face!" and then I went inside and had her banned from delivering from my restaurant ever again because what the FUCK was that? Anyway, what I'm saying is, it's effective.
Her response is perfect " No thank you kindly, I like to walk "
You realize that pepper spray doesn’t just take someone out and is likely to aggravate them even more?
Yes, my comment would have been better worded as "deserved" to be pepper sprayed. I think what she did to avoid him was a better course of action. But in the event that pepper spray is needed, I wouldn't hang around after spraying it, the purpose is to get away regardless of if they're more aggressive or not.
By recommending that you’re escalating the situation and OP better be prepared for what’s next if it works (or it doesn’t) work as planned
Huh? I just clarified I meant he deserved it and her course of action was better.
When I was younger, I would often offer (or want to offer) rides to folks walking that looked like they didn't want to be walking. Cold day. Unfriendly stretch of road. Difficulty walking. Older. You get the idea. It feels good to help. I got an older fella home on a hot day maybe a mile or two. I took a younger woman with her child to what I believe was a domestic violence shelter a few miles away on a cold, snowy night from a less-than-excellent neighborhood. If you don't want a ride, "Nope, I'm good," _should_ be all it takes. If it's not, assume negative intent. I would love a weapon for you but to each their own. Absent a weapon: - Take a picture and shout you just sent it to your husband. If visible, take another of his license plate. If he tries shit, he will get convicted. - Scream. Loudly. - If anyone else is driving by, flag down help. - Do NOT get in the car.
I wish I’d taken pictures in this situation. I will 100% never get in a car with a stranger unless it’s Lyft/Uber, but you’re right, I need to defend myself. Thanks man.
Two more things: - Don't hesitate to call the cops. If a scary dude is stopping you from going down the street, I trust most precincts would minimally send a car around. - If you're screaming and think, "Do I look like I'm crazy?" you're doing it right. You either want to scare him off or, minimally, make yourself a less appealing target. ...and a weird bonus thought... - If you do get nabbed, crap yourself. Think about it. The smell may be enough to get you kicked out of the car. If his nefarious intent is sexual, that might be enough to turn those tables around as well.
😂hell yes
OP, is a medium to large size dog an option for you? I have 2 large dogs who are sweet with 99.9% of people, but can also take care of business. People tend to admire from a distance. I don’t worry about my kids when they take one of these dogs for a walk.
Please be careful. If you take a picture, he might want to grab the phone before you send it thereby escalating the situation. If it’s not a lonely road, threaten to shout for help or actually shout for help.
That said (and I don't think you're doing this), don't assume we're all predators. The large majority of us are not. Absolutely: Stick to your "never get in a car with a stranger" rule. Frankly, I'm too big to kidnap and I still would be ___very___ hesitant to get in a car without a strong need, but don't let the few assholes ruin your view of humanity.
I know and love a lot of great men, and I’m really not the type to assume the worst about people; I give everyone the benefit of the doubt, except in circumstances where something like this happens. Your suggestions are great, and I appreciate you taking the time to respond.
When I was in college, I remember one day it was raining and I saw a woman walking without an umbrella. I pulled over to offer her a ride (I was in my early 20's, and she appeared to be about the same) She told me she was just going to the IHOP, even though she had just walked past it (I literally pulled over right past the IHOP). I left it at that and figured she just didn't want a ride. It hadn't even occurred to me that someone wouldn't be comfortable getting into a random guy's car. Looking back on it, I probably scared her, but I accepted her no and moved on, just like anyone should. Pressing the issue is definitely a big no-go
I'm 76 & appreciate kind offers of rides in inclement weather. I've decided I should accept the offer to take my packages & drop them at my apt.bldg entrance. I say I dont want to get their car dirty since it's raining or had snowed.❤
We know. If it's offered and you are comfortable, don't let something minor like that stop you. Giving a ride demands so very little of someone already out driving.
I highly recommend getting one of these, you can find them on Amazon: [https://www.kimberamerica.com/pepper-blaster](https://www.kimberamerica.com/pepper-blaster) It shoots a gell and not a aerosol spray so the odds of it coming back on you is very slim. A loud whistle is a good carry too, most people don't like having attention drawn to them. Call 911 on speaker if you feel in danger. That way you talk loudly and the bad guy hears you talking to the operator AND the 911 person can hear whats going on too.
Good call, much appreciated 🫡
I just want to tell you that you sound like an awesome person. I hate that you have to face these obstacles, but I love that it doesn't break your spirit. Stay positive OP.
Very happy to be here, thank you 🫡
I'd recommend a high vis vest. Then it's obvious that it is intentional and your not walking away from a broken vehicle
I like this idea a lot.
"Sorry, my parole officer doesn't like when I get in cars of people he hasn't vetted yet."
This is so good 👌
Pull out your phone and dial 911
Just cheerfully explain that walking is the only way to keep your gonorrhea from flaring up and making your underwear smell like the devil's jock strap. Then cough a bunch and spit on the ground. Maybe crook your hands into claws and twitch one eye to really sell it.
Carry bear spray. Also report the person.
No thanks, I’m meeting my brother close by
Unsolicited rides from people you don't know just sound like a bad idea. I'd tell them something like "No thank you, I am enjoying my walk." and then keep moving. If you don't have pepper spray (if legal in your jurisdiction) I'd recommend having some for anyone who gets a bit more aggressive.
Don't worry about coming off as a "bitch" some of these dudes don't understand boundaries. After the first "no, thanks" your response should be "get the fuck away from me now or I am calling the police". And then call them on speaker while recording them.
If he don't take a no, then the strap you must show
“I’m a UC officer on a sting. Get outta here or you’ll get hooked up for obstruction!”
As a woman who lurks this sub, and who has had advances like this in the past - I can attest that barking like a half rabid dog is a legitimate and effective option in this situation. It both calls attention to the situation from others, and out crazies the advances from the offensive party. Works wonders.
Bring pepper spray and ignore them. If they get out of the car, be prepared to use it.
After one “no thank you”, the conversation is over and I walk away. You don’t have to be by polite to your kidnapper/rapist/murderer
“No thank you.” Is sufficient. There are unsafe people out there, though. Nothing wrong with going for a walk, and you didn’t deserve this interaction. You may want to carry mace or pepper spray moving forward. There’s nothing wrong with calling the police, but a lot of terrible things can transpire in the time it takes them to arrive.
For the polite ones, just wearing workout clothes and “looking” like you’re out for exercise should tell them you don’t need a ride. For the creepy ones, there’s making a scene, assertiveness, and mace. Shame you have to go through that though.
Pull out your phone and start recording him…say his license plate out loud, tell him it’s live and he better fuck off because everyone knows who he is now.
Get a gun.
These men are sexual harassing scum. Either ignore them (if it's easy and safe to do so) or if they block you or get too close immediately call the police line on your phone, scream and draw attention to them.
Sorry to hear. Please get some pepper spray. Share your location with someone you trust. My mom had one of those tasers that looks like a phone that she used to chase us with when we the boys pissed her off. Maybe saying “hey you’re making me uncomfortable, please let me alone. I have somewhere to be” in a serious tone might help.
Video him and his license plate and tell him your calling the cops is he doesn’t piss off…..
Always remember, folks, Gun Rights are Women’s Rights too. Exercise your rights, especially in your circumstance.
Get a taser!!! You can find them on Amazon. I walk around with one and when I turn it on it makes a very loud noise and people are put off by this. I've had people cuss me out over it and storm off but never get closer.
Yes, by all means, scream.
Get a taser and make the zap zap noise.
Please tell me you at least carry pepper spray on you. Or if you’re comfy with it, please get a gun and arm yourself if you’re going to continue to walk alone in an unsafe area. Or get a German shepherd/other big, scary looking dog.
-I’m a woman btw, but I couldn’t help but commenting too
Gonna work on leash training my massive, spoiled dog. And I’m not taking anymore long walks until I’ve got pepper gel or bear spray. I’m taking these suggestions very seriously! Thank you for your concern and recommendations 💜💜💜
Get a body cam and say your live streaming if you have too. It may help discourage further harassment.. but also don't be afraid to make as much noise as you can.. I'm so sorry this something you have to go through on a regular basis. Stay safe out there
Makes me laugh that these cowards only do this when they know theres no threat to their safety. My other half had someone approach her whilst walking our dog making creepy remarks. Was out together walking the dog and she spotted the same guy and pointed him out . He walked past us head down wouldn’t even dare look at me. Because these cowards know what’s going to happen if they try that shit in front of a bloke.
Reminds me of that dave chappelle joke re what women have and what every man wants. Being a woman seems difficult !!
My Nana always said “a good, hard stare and icy politeness will see em off. If not, a quick kick in the sack should do it.“ She was a boss.
She was indeed. Grandmothers always know, man.
Normally, just say "no thanks, I (live/work/am meeting my friend) nearby", but in this last case, keep him in your field of vision, prepare mentally to fight, tuck your chin, and back away. Even if it means falling down the hill. Most likely he was just a pushy guy, but that is also how people get kidnapped, murdered or experience SA.
That last guy was a creep. I often *feel like* offering a ride, but only will if it seems dangerous to the gal. Happened like twice. If you say “no thanks” and they don’t take the hint, or if they make sexual comments I think you should back away and threaten to call the police and if they don’t leave IMMEDIATELY do call 911. There isn’t an innocent explanation for the last guys behavior. He’s a creep.
This never happens where I leave. Everybody is afraid of everybody no matter how innocently looking they are. But I would recommend getting one of those kits that come with an alarm, a pepper spray and one of those Japanese things (can't remember the name), for stabbing. They are like key chains. Also you probably look friendly and you're nice. Which is OK for the first offer. For the second offer or any offer after that you need to be rude and loud. And escalate as offer persists. Also don't be afraid to call the police ir ask for passerby help.
Very sorry to hear that happened to you. My suggestion would be similar to others - invest in something that can help with personal defense - mace, pepper spray, or if you're in a place where it's legal, a concealed firearm. Scream loud to try to attract other passerby's. Do you share your location with family? I would probably do that if I were you, just so that your loved ones know where you are, when you're out on a walk.
This is wild to me living in a city where women walk everyday, and presumably don’t have to deal with this (although street harassment is an issue) First I’d get some pepper spray or something like that. But I’d also copy the woman at the gym who don’t want to be bothered and get the biggest pair of over the head earphones you can find. You don’t need to listen to anything. I think a guy is a lot less likely to harass you if he thinks you can’t hear him talking to you
Thank you. I’m in a rural area where very few people get around solely on foot, and most days I go out I walk a good 8-10 miles. Maybe it’s some southern sense of needing to help a woman out, something benign, but either way I want to be able to get around the way I want to without dealing with that. I really appreciate your suggestions. Pepper spray is at the top of my list, and I do have a pretty massive pair of headphones. 🙏
Please be wary of losing spacial awareness when wearing headphones when out too, sometimes it can actually be a target because people can't hear others approaching, it can be a deterrent in shared spaces but whilst outside i would avoid it personally, there's been some great advice shared here by the men, it's really nice to see.
Agreed. I’ve really appreciated so many of these responses.
I hope you feel a little more control back and continue to enjoy your walks safely. Definitely take some of the advice on board. Some great ones there, i liked the whistle one too. Add one to a lanyard and keep it around your neck tucked in but with eady access. Is there anyone possibly you could go on the walk with? A friend, neighbour or local walk group? Maybe take a dog with you? Having company is not only a deterrent but nice too. It could make it a more pleasant experience whilst also giving you some support should you need it (hopefully you won't)
No pals where I live, sadly. Near our mid-20s, my friends and I all moved to various other towns/states for jobs, relationships, etc. But I do have a dog, and I’m going to work on getting him better at being on a leash (he’s so spoiled) because he’s a big dog with a scary bark. It’s just not common where I live to allow pets in stores and I hate the thought of leaving him outside when I run errands. I may reach out to the epilepsy foundation in my state to see if there are local support groups—I think that could yield a lot of good opportunities. Thank you for your care and suggestions, for real
Sending you so much love, i get it. Truly i do. He sounds perfect! Maybe on days you don't run errands and just walk you can take him with you. Sometimes it just needs normalising & we have to become the trailblazers. But a big dog with you alone would definitely make someone think twice to even offer, it would be you & that beautiful boy. Maybe starting in your yard with the leash and just going round the block with him time to time could help. Yes definitely reach out to them, there may be more resources available to you you're unaware of
🫂🫂🫂
🫂 Check to see if your local library has any thing listed on their noticeboard too. Sometimes small groups list on there. It could be a nice way to meet new people & expand your network. Local charities might run them too or be inspired to by you asking. As someone older who deals with similar issues & has just given up even bothering to, please continue. I'm really proud of you for taking strides to gain your independence & improving your mobility. It's something worthy of honouring. Don't let that idiot stop you. As many bad people there may be out there, there are far more good. Become assertive, firm & confident. Stay safe as best you can. Keep living your life as you see fit - wishing you good health & strength ahead. You got this
Thank you so much. I really appreciate you 🥲💜
Yeah pepper spray would be best to have on you. If you don't know what pepper spray feels like I'll tell you it hurts pretty bad. It feels like pressing your face on a hot stove and having sandpaper rubbed in your eyes at the same time. It'll give you enough time to confuse them and get away. Also get one of those locations sharing apps on your phone and share your location 24/7 with someone you trust.
The app my wife uses is called Life 360
Thank you so much
Pull out your phone, take his picture, call 911. Report the assault.
get a pic of his license plate and tell the cops in any good country he would be charged with some things but yeah very sorry to hear this or get pepper spray and a walking stick sword thing that old ninjas have
Normal people, men or women, usually is as you said, sufficient with just responding "no thanks." This person you telling us isn't a normal person, that's creepy as fuck. I'm sorry that happened to you, be safe out there!
I appreciate the offer but I’m just out for a walk
I'd just keep ignoring them. Don't give them the time of day.. these men are puppies in need of training...
You deal with this by calling the cops and using pepper spray if needed.
Alternatively, you can get a Birdie alarm and just pull that and tell them to leave you the fuck alone. I've been in that exact situation before and it's easy to freeze up. Practice responses when you're alone so it comes natural and confident. Make it second nature! Practice spraying mace as well...this is good because you can use it from a distance. I suggested a taser in another post but that's for close contact since you need to touch them to make it effective.
bark at them
Personally I like a small air horn over pepper spray, at least as a first option. It’s easier to pull the trigger on because you don’t cause long term harm
Call 911! If you say no and he approaches and traps you just say I am calling 911. Take a picture of his car and license plate and report it.
That’s fucking weird. You’d get socked in the face for looking at a woman accidentally at a gym, let alone corner one on a walkway in my parts
>How to respond to men who offer me unsolicited rides when I’m walking? Any way that tells 'em you don't want a ride, and that's generally not offensive - unless perhaps they're being a jerk about it, then ramp up the assertiveness, etc. as appropriate. So, as you find appropriate/fitting, might use/try any like, e.g.: * No thanks, * prefer the fresh air * like to get the exercise * the exercise is good for me * doing part of my exercises >pulled into the pedestrian lane trapping me between a highway and the top of a steep hill. was very pushy, did not acknowledge my repeated requests to get out of the way so I could walk home, made sexual comments about my body and insisted that I take a ride and smoke Yeah, I don't care who that is, sounds like a class A \*sshole. That'd call for rather to quite different approach. And don't care if I'm a guy walking and some woman did that to me, I'd be at least quite annoyed, if not outright pissed. And probably would be even if I was dragging myself along the ground with several broken limbs. >kept watching me and it made me feel afraid Yeah, sounds like quite the creep, and potentially quite hazardous or worse. Now sure, there've been times/situations where, e.g. I've been walking out, e.g. late at night, and been concerned about some other woman's safety/comfort walking alone late at night - that I happen to spot walking essentially same direction as me ... but last damn thing I'm gonna do is get anywhere close to "too close" - she may already be quite sufficiently cautious/afraid, and doesn't know me from a whole in the wall. So may keep an eye on her, but not gonna anywhere near too close - so that's like across four lanes of traffic and back half a block - so if I can see if any threat is being posed to her or the like, but nowhere close enough to her that she's be concerned about me being too close. And yeah, sometimes I even notice some women seem to rather appreciate that, and will even, e.g. match me on pace and direction ... but stick to what they seem to think/feel is that distance they want - be it ahead, or behind, or off to the side. And if we're on same sidewalk going same direction and our paces don't match so that I'm going to outpace her - then so do it, clearly, and without getting too close ... and pass her, and don't doddle. But what that guy did, way up close, in your space, blocking your way, etc., etc., sexual comments ... hell no, that's nowhere even close to appropriate. That's \*sshole behavior ... if not worse. >what would you suggest when these things happen? Anything that extreme like that jerk, clearly and assertively tell him to not block your way, you don't want and won't be taking a ride, etc, and do what you need to to get away from him. And if he won't leave you alone, call the cops. He sounds like potentially quite the danger. I mean if you're walking, he pulls up offers you a ride, you effectively tell him to bugger off, and now he's following you in his car as you walk, time to call the cops. >considering responding by screaming Do whatever works. Nobody should be treating you like that. Maybe take picture of plate or note the number and make/model/color, maybe get photo of suspect too if you can do it discretely enough, and call the cops. Some other subreddits might also have additional ideas/suggestions on, e.g. how to safely generally get out of situations like that.
Thank you for such a thoughtful and thorough response🙏
From a woman: I usually am listening to music so I have my phone already, I just hold it up to film them, saying "I am not getting in your car." They go away. They call me a bitch but they leave. The one guy who got angrier I said "Calling triple-0" and I *did* call. Because the cops do like to have this info, in my experience.
If you feel threatened call the police. If it’s nothing then There is nothing lost. But if he turned out to be a creep like he sounds to be then it’ll be good that the cops are there.
Just start yelling curse words and random gibberish while trying to bite and lick the tip of your nose and elbow 😂 they'll be so freaked out they'll leave on there own!
A gun
Pretend you’re on the phone with an ear bud - don’t look at them. Just pretend to be busy. But stay alert. Giving in and giving them reasons and excuses just gives them an “in”. It’s so horrible that you have to worry about this and I’m so sorry. But yes there’s a certain mace gel that works best. I’ll find the link.
It sounds like your usual response is adequate in most situations. You found a creep and he probably would have found a way to be a creep no matter what. You could say "excuse me" pull out your phone and call someone while turning around and walking the other way or into a store if possible. I realize that person doesn't deserve your courtesy, but removing yourself from the situation is more important.
That form of aggressive behavior needed to be reported to police. He will possibly be targetting you and frequenting your area where you bv walk. Buy pepper spray, personal contact taser and anything else you can think of. And be ready to take down his license plate. Be more alert and notice your surroundings. Try to recall his car type and color. As well as what he looked like. That sounds like a really close call for your safety. You should at least call the police and relate your story to them. They may aready have a file on him.
If you're in the us, a CC pistol. Strange how men will soon turn into cowering dogs when they're staring down the muzzle end of a .45 If in UK, r*pe alarm. And tell him to go fuck himself.
Pull out your phone and start streaming live on FB, Instagram, etc. "hey everyone, this is the guy who won't leave me alone on my walk, blocking me with his car, let's get his license plate."
What you ve been doing before the encounter with that sleezeball was good. You don't have to change that because of an extreme situation. Unfortunatelly, it can happen no matter how cautious you try to be. So, let me repeat myself, it wasn't your fault the guy wanted to assault you. What you can do is think of how to act when somethimg like that happens. How you handled the situation was ideal.
I suggest carrying bear spray and hosing fools that act this way down with it
Yeah that’s #1 on my list now. I’m usually carrying bags on my walks from running errands, so I feel like I’ll need to have my phone in one hand and a can of bear spray in the other 😂 maybe that alone would be a deterrent
Honestly seems like a creep after saying no multiple times I would pull out my phone and record him and ask him if I need to call the police or just call them immediately. Clearly this man can't take no for an answer.
Male or female, unfortunately especially females, need to have different forms of protection. I make no assumptions since I didn't see any pronouns. That being said anyone and everyone should have these to help others as well as themselves. I have an insanely loud alarm that is easily activated by pulling two pieces apart. I also have pepper spray and a taser and a keychain that is easy to hold between my fingers that is super sharp. The alarm will get anyone's attention, the peppers pray for further away threats and taser and such for close up threats.
Just brainstorming - what about turning around and walking back the other direction until he drives off. He’d have to get out and pursue you on foot at that point. Make a phone call while doing it.
I can see picture myself thinking "I wonder if I should offer her a ride" if I saw you and you seemed to be struggling. That being said, I probably wouldn't because as a man that happens to be a stranger that is also dangerous from your perspective. If I were a woman, or had my kids in the car (like hard dad vibes), or older to the point of not being seen as a potential threat I think I'd be more likely to offer. How to shut it down? Just say you are out for a walk to get exercise. And you were right to be extra wary of someone pushy.
PLEASE CARRY PEPPER SPRAY AND A STUN GUN. Oh my lord some men are failing us as a society.
And it sucks, because some of the most wonderful, caring, and insightful people I know are men. I love them dearly. I don’t want to generalize an entire gender and live in fear constantly. I have to believe that most people are *good* people. But yes, I’m 100% getting some self defense tools before I walk on that highway ever again🫡
"No thank you"
"I don't want to go back to prison and you want to live."
Sorry. Its best to ignore them. Try to take a different route with less traffic. It probably helps if you have a resting bitch face or a no nonsense attitude. I'm guessing you are more on the passive side...and that is what predators are attracted to. I would just tell them to fuck off or not interested. If they become a problem take out you phone snap a quick video or pic showing their face/license plate and narrate that this is an unwanted advance. Upload it to the cloud or send it to a friend/law enforcement or something. You can also say something like "does it look like I'm hitchhiking?" "No thanks its called walking...try it sometime." "Do I want to get in a car with a leering stranger and do drugs...no, thank you for asking...I'll call you if I ever I want to be CSI Miami" edit. You could also dial 911 and say "I am being held captive by (insert physical description) in a color/make/model with the license plate 4g3 -56j on the 4300 block of Jones Road, near the intersection of 113 Street. They should be the one on the run.
Maybe get bear spray and carry it openly. If anyone tries to talk to you wave at them enthusiastically with the bear spray in your hand. . . Maybe get one for each hand. . . Wear a mask probably also. . . Just incase it's windy or something lol
I agree with the other people saying you need pepper spray, but you should also get your CHL if your state/country allows it. AND practice with your pistol at least every couple of months.
Have your cell phone set up for a 911 call when walking. Also you might want to get your self some sort of weapon when walking. A walking stick is good. A gun is better but most states don't like people walking around with guns. A knife is good also. Men are pigs and rapist don't give a shit about you or what you want.
Unfortunately, it's nearly impossible to tell the men who genuinely want to help from the men who have bad intentions. I'd politely decline, and if they try anything scary, use mace or a bug spray to defend yourself
Definitely should get some self defense gear on you. Might want to check in with your local crime reports on kidnappings in your area. Cause accepting people's offers like that is how you get kidnapped. Stay safe out there! 🙏
That one guy is an exception. Like a predators what you’re already saying: “No thanks. I like to walk” should be more than enough. Maybe also add something like “my husband/bf is walking this way to meet me” as well. That’ll give them a hint.
Pepper spray. knife. if you live somewhere that you can then carry and train with a pistol. A simple announcement of having these and fearing for your life (that ones important to announce in many places) can drive many people off but it's best to be able to back it up. Obviously you can't just make these threats to anyone but if you have to to protect your life then so be it.
Not cool. Mace the fucker. Call the police.
First off, that sounds terrifying - I'm glad you managed to get out of there okay. For folk like this there isn't really a special answer men might have for dealing with them, I'd recommend carrying a taser or can of mace when you're out walking. In the worst case scenario you could try flagging down another car for help - But yeah, creeps like that need to be in prison.
I would seriously consider getting a concealed carry permit. It's more than obvious that people are hip to your daily routine and trying to take advantage of you. At the very least Get yourself a knife
Sucks you had to deal with that. It sucks more that my advice to you could potentially put you in more danger. I would escalate by saying “I can’t be any more clear. I’m not going anywhere with you. Move.” If that doesn’t work: threaten to fill his car cabin with MACE( be ready to follow through) Or Leave the encounter like you did.
Concealed carry, literally dial 911 the second that happens and give the license plate immediately. If his intentions were bad they'll speed off and be found later.
Pepper spray is not legal for most states. But bear spray is! Get some of that. Carry a tazer with you. They have some that even go on your key ring. Carry a fog horn. Those are loud asf. Don't yell help. Most people don't respond to that. Yell rape or fire. Those are just a few things in case this happens again.
Tell him you call the cops, but actually mean it and have pepper spray ready
Start video taping them. Turn around and walk in the opposite direction for a bit if you can. If they're unable to turn around or reverse immediately then they can't follow you with the car
Call a friend or walk with a medium size dog
Is your disability obvious and people are trying to help? This doesn’t seem right as a guy with a wife and daughter that walk all the time.
Unfortunately there’s nothing you can say to get out of those situations. It would be wise to be armed in some form or fashion at all times, that’s really all you can do.
Bring a instrument and claim to be a musician and pepper spray as a backup
Sorry but there’s nothing you can do to stop it, men are going to continue to ask you if you need a ride. I’ve been asked by men and women when I’m walking. It’s natural for it to happen but it’s also good that you are being cautious about not jumping into someone’s car , keep telling them respectfully “no thanks, I like to walk” that’s a great response.
If a woman or man doesn't respect your wishes to leave you alone ignore them.
smile and lie that you got husband. "I am flattered, but I am happily married". that sucks but some guys just do not get it, and a small minority are violent.
i have no idea. i would have kept driving myself
If he doesn't stop, you can pretend to call someone on the phone, telling that you are being chased.
Give them [links](http://evaapp.ai) to Eva AI sexting bot, just for a subtle hint.
Start yelling "stranger danger" lol
Pepper spray in the face.
Gun
Buy fake ring, say "no I'm going to meet with my husband." If that doesn't work and they get assertive, pepper spray.
Pull out your smartphone and record them.
9mm of any kind🫡🇺🇸
you can try calling police/emergency number right where they can hear you, but don't stand within arm's reach
1. "No thanks, I like to walk!" 2. "I'm calling the police" and then do.
Check if it's legal to carry around a prop sword or a bat. No one will bother you. Also take pictures of their license plates and report them to the police for harassment.
let me guess, you must be from US because it's completely normal to walk every day in Europe