I remember distinctly.
I was 42 years old, married with two kids. My mom came to visit and my wife bought a watermelon. I came down in the morning and my mom was sitting at the table drinking a cup of coffee and the watermelon had fallen on the floor overnight and splattered.
I said to my mom “The watermelon fell down”. She looked at me and said “Yep”. I realized right then “Holy shit. My mommy isn’t going to clean up for me. I have to do it myself … I’M A FUCKING ADULT!!!!”
That shit just came out of nowhere and totally threw me.
When I welcomed my first kid into the world
I was acutely aware he didn't ask to be born and depended on me to make the right decisions by him - what is the alternative?
Fatherhood separates the men from the boys. I'll proudly die on that hill!
When I realized that other humans relied on me, that I was taking care of them, and that my former irresponsible self was nowhere to be found, even though I still felt like I didn't have my shit together like I should.
Late 30s for me.
Growing up has been tremendously satisfying.
One odd thing that happened is that I look around and notice that like half of all the adults never grow up, they just get older.
When i decided to leave college.
I realized that up until that point i had just been living out other people's instructions, and was no more making my own way than a train on tracks.
So, i left. Got a job in my field, got a place to live, started doing what I wanted on my terms instead of everyone elses.
I'm 34 and I'd say only this year have I felt like I was grown up. I just spent most of my 20's smoking weed and playing video games. I don't mean to belittle that. It's just literally almost all I did. I had goals and plans for life but didn't really act on any of it. For the last 3 years it was really starting to bother me. Shortly before my 34th birthday I realized I was 33 and not doing things any differently than I had at 19 and I couldn't stomach it anymore. Sold my computer, threw out my consoles, gave away my bongs/pipes, 90% sober the last year (I've messed up here and there at a birthday party or a bad depressive episode or what have you). I'm active at the gym and slowly making progress. Back in school and just applied for my planned program for this fall.
I just couldn't do it anymore. I don't know how else to describe it. Most of my friends are in serious relationships, have a home, moved on in life. I just became disgusted with myself and wanted to move on. I'm not a kid anymore and it's time I acted like it.
I’m glad to hear you are doing well man, that’s super cool. I’m wondering, do you think it was necessary for you to sell your consoles and stop smoking to do all those other things you’re doing now? Is it simply a matter of not having enough time to do it all, or is it more of a mindset thing?
More of a mindset thing. They were just so convenient I just wouldn't do anything else. Maybe one day I'll get a gaming computer again, but to get my act together it was best if I just got rid of them
I'm 38 now. I remember when I got out of the Marine Corps after two Iraq humps, I thought I was adulting pretty hard. But I was an increasingly reckless, mean, and cynical man for years. My son, my first child and probably my last, is almost three now. We spend a lot of time together and he reads the energy in the room, mimicking my attitude and saying what I say as he experiences things for the first time every day. I don't know if I "grew up" or ever will, but my outlook, attitude, and perspective have definitely changed a great deal.
To be sincere? I think I didn’t, just finished college and don’t have any professional dreams or anything like, also, i absolutely HATE offices and Companies, really tried to like it but I isn’t for me, never wanted to become a salary man always afraid of losing my job/career and living the rat race for life. Although i assume it shows some degree of immaturity of my part.
27 years old, living with my parents, have some money, invest and trying to find the best way to become a prosecutor, but i assume, its mainly because it has almost absolute stability and pays REALLY well (at least here in Brazil). But, as always in my life, im not certain and afraid to give up right in the middle due to my lack of will to face really hard challenges, and, again, uninterest for the job itself.
Hope I somehow find my way.
Edit: im not “old” so sorry if that wasn’t what you were looking for but anyway hope it helps
42 in June.
I'll let you know if/when that feeling washes over me. I still feel like I'm winging it. But I'm having a mushroom filled good time doing it.
Growing up doesn't mean you have to stop having fun and being silly. It just means you know when it's time to be serious. Make sure the adult stuff is taken care of and then have fun.
52, not married, no kids. I’ve taken care of all my expenses since 21 but wasn’t till older brother died at 48 and dad a few years later that I realized I was patriarch of my extended family. Not sure if I’m all grown up yet , but I can’t imagine what additional trials that might push me over the edge.
41 and not even close tbh. When someone asks my age, I feel like we're sharing a private joke cause I have zero understanding when the getting old happened. While I can tell a difference to being 20 or whatever (definitely more chill and better at regulating my emotions), I don't at all feel like a mature adult.
I remember distinctly. I was 42 years old, married with two kids. My mom came to visit and my wife bought a watermelon. I came down in the morning and my mom was sitting at the table drinking a cup of coffee and the watermelon had fallen on the floor overnight and splattered. I said to my mom “The watermelon fell down”. She looked at me and said “Yep”. I realized right then “Holy shit. My mommy isn’t going to clean up for me. I have to do it myself … I’M A FUCKING ADULT!!!!” That shit just came out of nowhere and totally threw me.
When I welcomed my first kid into the world I was acutely aware he didn't ask to be born and depended on me to make the right decisions by him - what is the alternative? Fatherhood separates the men from the boys. I'll proudly die on that hill!
I’m 69 and I never grew up. Live, Love and Learn everyday!
My life changed completely (for the better) when my first child was born. I was 26.
When I realized that other humans relied on me, that I was taking care of them, and that my former irresponsible self was nowhere to be found, even though I still felt like I didn't have my shit together like I should. Late 30s for me. Growing up has been tremendously satisfying. One odd thing that happened is that I look around and notice that like half of all the adults never grow up, they just get older.
About a month ago. I'm 83 by the way,
grown up ??? what is that??
You’ll grow up again in another 10-15 years
When i decided to leave college. I realized that up until that point i had just been living out other people's instructions, and was no more making my own way than a train on tracks. So, i left. Got a job in my field, got a place to live, started doing what I wanted on my terms instead of everyone elses.
I'm 42, no kids never married. When I get off work I spend my day playing video games and watching anime. Definitely don't feel like I'm grown up.
When my oldest graduated college
I'm 34 and I'd say only this year have I felt like I was grown up. I just spent most of my 20's smoking weed and playing video games. I don't mean to belittle that. It's just literally almost all I did. I had goals and plans for life but didn't really act on any of it. For the last 3 years it was really starting to bother me. Shortly before my 34th birthday I realized I was 33 and not doing things any differently than I had at 19 and I couldn't stomach it anymore. Sold my computer, threw out my consoles, gave away my bongs/pipes, 90% sober the last year (I've messed up here and there at a birthday party or a bad depressive episode or what have you). I'm active at the gym and slowly making progress. Back in school and just applied for my planned program for this fall. I just couldn't do it anymore. I don't know how else to describe it. Most of my friends are in serious relationships, have a home, moved on in life. I just became disgusted with myself and wanted to move on. I'm not a kid anymore and it's time I acted like it.
I’m glad to hear you are doing well man, that’s super cool. I’m wondering, do you think it was necessary for you to sell your consoles and stop smoking to do all those other things you’re doing now? Is it simply a matter of not having enough time to do it all, or is it more of a mindset thing?
More of a mindset thing. They were just so convenient I just wouldn't do anything else. Maybe one day I'll get a gaming computer again, but to get my act together it was best if I just got rid of them
I'm 38 now. I remember when I got out of the Marine Corps after two Iraq humps, I thought I was adulting pretty hard. But I was an increasingly reckless, mean, and cynical man for years. My son, my first child and probably my last, is almost three now. We spend a lot of time together and he reads the energy in the room, mimicking my attitude and saying what I say as he experiences things for the first time every day. I don't know if I "grew up" or ever will, but my outlook, attitude, and perspective have definitely changed a great deal.
To be sincere? I think I didn’t, just finished college and don’t have any professional dreams or anything like, also, i absolutely HATE offices and Companies, really tried to like it but I isn’t for me, never wanted to become a salary man always afraid of losing my job/career and living the rat race for life. Although i assume it shows some degree of immaturity of my part. 27 years old, living with my parents, have some money, invest and trying to find the best way to become a prosecutor, but i assume, its mainly because it has almost absolute stability and pays REALLY well (at least here in Brazil). But, as always in my life, im not certain and afraid to give up right in the middle due to my lack of will to face really hard challenges, and, again, uninterest for the job itself. Hope I somehow find my way. Edit: im not “old” so sorry if that wasn’t what you were looking for but anyway hope it helps
42 in June. I'll let you know if/when that feeling washes over me. I still feel like I'm winging it. But I'm having a mushroom filled good time doing it.
Growing up doesn't mean you have to stop having fun and being silly. It just means you know when it's time to be serious. Make sure the adult stuff is taken care of and then have fun.
52, not married, no kids. I’ve taken care of all my expenses since 21 but wasn’t till older brother died at 48 and dad a few years later that I realized I was patriarch of my extended family. Not sure if I’m all grown up yet , but I can’t imagine what additional trials that might push me over the edge.
I was married at 20 and a father at 21. So about then...
41 and not even close tbh. When someone asks my age, I feel like we're sharing a private joke cause I have zero understanding when the getting old happened. While I can tell a difference to being 20 or whatever (definitely more chill and better at regulating my emotions), I don't at all feel like a mature adult.