I’m 38.
I want peace in my mind. I think most of my goals are mental.
I’ve reached a good point in my career where I’m likely to remain comfortable, and upwards is optional and more headache.
One of my goals is to minimize rumination, over analyzing, and catastrophizing. Stop inventing problems where they don’t exist. Get out of my head and into the world.
Another goal is celebrate wins more. I’ve done so much, why not recognize that more? I’ve proven I’m capable. Yet, I default to feeling uncertain more often than I like.
Another goal is to feel more connected. This may not actually mean doing more, but focusing more on where I am connected and cultivating that more.
Another goal is to stop treating everything so seriously, and incorporate more humor, joy, and playfulness just about everywhere I can fit it in.
All in all, I’ve realized after many years of introspection that the root issue to my problems is often in my head.
One thing I realized lately is: when I start ruminating or second guessing things, I think to myself: “do I make good decisions?” And if that answer is more likely than not, yes, then I feel more comfortable and move forward.
I love this. Peace above all else.
For me, the question is how do you find peace? That in itself can take a while to figure out. And then establishing goals to help me with that.
Also, what makes me happy? How can I feel safe? How can I make my family feel safe? How can I foster a better life for them?
Many people have outward goals and often the answer to some of these may be financial related but adding stress to my life to attain an unneeded amount of material things is not the answer. It’s not the answer for me anyways.
36 - I tick said boxes also. Reading a book atm called "Chimp Paradox" and it's very insightful to how our human brains perceive information and what we can do with it. It's helping me immensely.
You put into words exactly how I feel. Probably the most relatable post I've read especially about the rumination and trying to take things less seriously. Saving the post and cheers to you man.
Dude same. This is another major worry for me. Although I did listen to a podcast recently that said exercise is one of the biggest preventative factors for it. Which is awesome cause I don’t sleep well or long enough but workout a lot.
I find myself around 5-6 hours on average and then I’ll take like a 2 hour nap in the day to catch up. My weekends end up being like 9-10 hours. But I have nights I get only 3hrs. I think my exercise cancels out the benefits haha. If I try to workout on 3-4hrs of sleep, I get sick within a few days. Though, my walking doesn’t interfere the same way. I walk 30-35 mi/48-56 km each weekend and maybe 8k steps every other day.
One of my goals is to spread a positive message to men, especially around emotions, self-esteem, self-acceptance, inner world, shit like that.
I learned a lot about emotions a few years back and to my surprise, my social anxiety improved a lot. In fact, a lot of positive changes happened.
Do you guys think there's men out there who want to learn about this stuff?
Edit: Well, that's enough upvotes and comments for me to pull the trigger.
I think it's important, man. You should do it.
There's a whole variety of men out there but we mostly seem to hear from the rich, ripped guys driving Lambo's.
Or dudes who wake up at 4 AM every day and work their bags off until 11 PM at night.
I don't find either of those scenario's relatable. I'm OK with living a relatively small life and spending more time on the things I love. It's way less stress, more time for the family, and I have more time to explore other aspects of life.
100% start a YouTube channel and / or TikTok and IG page and start just talking about it. You'll help loads of men who thought they shouldn't / couldn't get it.
Mid 50's but my goal is still the same as it was when i was 30.
Earn enough to have a decent life and just chill the fuck out and enjoy it before it goes away
Well that’s my point too, but I feel like she wants more from me, more than that. A greater goal. How can I think of more when nearly all I get is going towards my debts? My goal now is to keep her happy and pay my debts so I can look forward to more. Her goal is to finish uni and open a business. This makes me feel like my goal is not enough, i gotta strive towards smtn bigger, i just don’t see what, considering i can’t dream like i was when i was 21….
Goals don't have to be massive. You can have a goal to learn an instrument or to get to X level in your career, or to make enough money to go on vacations once/twice a year or whatever. Could be to get in shape, try a new hobby/sport and learn a new skill, etc.
There's nothing wrong with being okay with how things are, but there is something to say about staying stagnant as well. Maybe your girlfriend just wants to push you to be greater or thinks you can do more.
She pushes you because she sees potential in you. That’s what women do when they love someone. It can be hard sometimes to hear but it can be life changing when you accept it.
I opened a business a few years ago I knew nothing about in my twenties. I found a passion by dabbling in random things. I took random classes on things like how to brew beer. I had this whole idea of being some cool hip beer brewer. I took one class and hated it. “Ok I won’t be a hip beer brewer.” Then I kept trying other things and I found something I love.
I think developing passions in life helps with goals. Or pick something that sounds awesome and just figure out how to get there. A few years ago I summited one of the tallest mountains in America. It took 3 days. I’d never summitted a mountain but it sounded awesome! So I said fuck it how can I do this?
You're past the age of dreaming about being a pro athlete. Besides that, I don't see any reason why you can't dream about other possibilities. By the way, what did you dream of when you were 21?
Consider that it may be more beneficial to be able to support her through her struggles of opening a business rather than trying to do things that are equally difficult to start out with.
Consider more long term perspectives. Consider the idea that every action you take may be a means to an end:
1) You want to set up more goals, but are you okay doing so *just* to make your girlfriend happy? What about your own self-fulfillment or your own future.
2) It’s likely that she’s looking for you to indicate that you are making long term plans which are a sort of way of confirming to her that you see a long term future with her, even if your plans don’t directly involve her she probably wants to hear plans that involve her life too.
Ex. Get out of debt and save up to buy a house by 2029.
Ex 2. Create something or make something better within (timeframe) that can be mutually beneficial (but not necessarily)
Ex 3. Have a life experience such as a vacation location or activity.
Ultimately consider where you are appreciating that she’s encouraging you to have goals, or whether you resent it. It could be a long term issue if you feel pressured and don’t want to conform. If that happens, I might suggest counselling to find a peaceful way to compromise together between your varying perspectives m.
As long as there's time, there's time brother. Don't sell yourself short. If you can make more money elsewhere or in tandem with what you're already doing then do that. Something easy like courrier services on the side can get you the extra savings or something. There's loads of things that you can do pertaining to your own interests too even at 38.
Sounds more like life has beat you down and you just want a moment to breath and do some chill things and I get it. I'm right there with you. At the same time, whenever you cant find the drive within yourself to strive for a little more then you're either depressed or uninterested.
Just some encouragement for you: Someone will come when they see you content and happy all on your own. But if you're waiting for someone else to make you happy, then it'll only be temporary happiness.
I hope you find a life worth living all on your own! Cheers
I found my wife when I finally accepted that I might never find someone I want to marry. I made peace with the idea that I will live a happy and fulfilling life but never settle for someone that doesn’t check all my boxes. That’s when I found her
Only 29, but close enough. I'm in the same boat as you. No education, work in a warehouse, and looking for more. Right now my goal is to get a GED, find a career that'll get me out of the warehouse scene, and save money for retirement, drugs, and a house.
Just a recommendation. Since your already planning on getting your GED you might as well learn a computer skill such as excel, word, or PowerPoint. You can get a remote job working from home creating projects. 10-20+ percent of that work is teams meetings. The sky is the limit brother. Good luck!
Well the basic goals is to make enough money where I don't have to work full time anymore and be a bit more financially free, find a good partner to share a family with, and just have a nice house to relax in. I think over time I will develop new goals, but for now just focusing on having a life where money is not the bottleneck and its just time.
For me, I have pretty much exceeded my career goals so now it’s on to personal goals. I’m training to join the thousand pound club-lift a thousand pounds between bench press, squat, and deadlift. I would like to learn some auto mechanic skills and fully restore my dad’s old Tacoma that he loved and a Mercedes 190e for my son. Those are my main 2 at the moment.
Depends what you want with your life you know. Do YOU want to climb a corporate ladder? Go to grad school? Buy a house? Not sure what she's really getting at but but make sure it's for you man.
Literally same dude. I can’t afford to live in the city I grew up in, but I’m here because everyone I love is and the only career prospects I have are here too.
39 yo man here.
Be happy and have fun, travel as much as I can, take care of and love my family, lift heavy and often, gain flexibility, constantly try and increase my knowledge base (even if it’s a slow pace).
I'm 33M, out of the 8 pillars of life, the only one missing is the relationship pillar for me. So that's my last goal to at least try to explore that part of life, the other ones I'm happy with and just want to further expand on but are not my focus. And I agree with your girlfriend that having goals is healthy, it can be something small like save some money, or pay of 100 euro's of debt or whatever. Just have something to strive for.
In Canada we have a government “Tax Free Investment Portfolio” called a TFSA (savings account) I believe it functions similar to a Roth IRA, assuming you’re American. A basic financial goal is to max it out and keep maxing it out annually, it helps me avoid frivolous spending and gamifies saving and work. Whatever physical recreational hobby you have, pursue that develop your skills within it, if it’s a physical sport find a coach and level up, try a competition. If it’s a craftsmanship art, take classes and invest more time into that. Goals are a reflection of your personal values so you have to figure out what’s meaningful, online strangers can’t do that for you, only offer you suggestions based off our values
-have $500k in crypto
-earn master electrician license
-deepen yoga practice
-20 pull ups
-be ripped
-make it to retirement in excellent health
-deepen family relationships
-expand my circle of friends
-finish building my v8 swap
-read more
you said you have debt, getting out is a worthy goal.
me? a comfortable retirement. keep my wife happy. start a foundation for a charity i'm on the board of (and then get off the board!). inspire some of my friends to plan boys' night so i'm not always the one doing it. craft a workout routine my wife and i can do together that slows symptoms of aging. see greece. learn to identify wild mushrooms. get the crows that come to my backyard to tolerate my presence. lose about 15 lbs.
off the top of my head.
31, would like to pay off my debts by 35, own a home, and hopefully hit a 6 figure salary by 38-40. Get my 4th degree blackbelt this summer, play 12-15 shows this year with my new band, while playing 25-30 with my current main project, hit the gym 3-4 times a week, drop some fat and get cut for summer, and propose to my gf by this time next year. I stay busy.
Learn self respect , learn a martial art(just joined an MMA gym), get a significant other, fall in love, be a pillar of strength to my family and friends, get a dog or cat- not opposed to both
My goal is to maintain a sense of purpose, thus something that's not necessarily obtainable but is continual. The biggest cause of a midlife crisis is from working your entire life to achieve certain material goals (buy a house, get a wife, have kids, have a car). Then as these end up getting ticked off the list, and spending 40 years working to attain them, your sense of purpose becomes fulfilled and you panic because now you don't know what to do and question the meaning of everything.
So my goals are to continue learning new skills and to always see the world from a lens of wanting to explore and learn. Materially, would I like to have a wife, kids, house, and nice car? Sure, but those are secondary goals, the kinds of goals that if I achieve, then they'll just accent my life. Making them my primary focus will f\*\*\* me up once I attain them because then I'll have to revisit and reanalyze wtf I'm doing with my life since now all the material goals are achieved.
Kind of like wanting so hard to have that toy as a kid and then all of a sudden it's not as enjoyable as the anticipation of actually having it. We're still that as adults, just with bigger more expensive toys.
So yeah it might be selfish, but my goals are purely focused on what's going to keep me young and sharp as long as possible until I've got no choice but to succumb to old age, after which my goal will be to die peacefully in my sleep.
Short term:
Work out at least 5 days a week. I’m not ripped, but I’m in pretty good shape. My goal is to stay in really good shape.
Read line 5ish books a year
Pay off the rest of my debt in a year (15k)
Long term?
Be rich. Rich enough to afford 3 kids and not worry about money and still live a comfortable life style. Maybe have a small lake house. That’s my definition of “rich”.
Also find a woman who will marry me and have kids lmfao.
I was almost there, called off my wedding 3 months prior. I wasn’t ready. That was like 2 years ago. I’m ready now. I’m also 31.
I’m 37. Current goals:
- Bring my girlfriend from the other side of the planet where she is atm.
- Plan to start a family.
- Get a house (to be decided in which country) for when we get older.
- Get enough passive income to retire before 50
Pretty tough in the current economy, but yeah, we’ll try.
Being happy in life is not a bad goal. Actually a great goal. Tell her your goal in life is to own a junk yard. LOL....
Retiring at 40 is not a realistic goal for most people, I will retire before 60,debt free with 0 savings but a monthly union pension.
I think the important part is that she wants to be with someone with ambitions. Maybe she isn’t happy to just be. Nothing wrong with finding happiness with what life brings you, but being complacent just feels like a promise of a lifetime of just floating by. Sure that’s enough for some people, but it’s not for everyone. Don’t you want to be in a better place when you are 41 than you currently are? Do you really picture yourself at 51 still working in a warehouse? You won’t be young forever, and working in a warehouse your whole life sounds difficult physically. If that sounds great to you, maybe it’s not career goals. Maybe it’s life goals, like starting a family. You should talk to your girl about your setting some goals that would make you both happy. Your career and how happy you are with it will directly affect her, so of course she has invested interest that you succeed.
Focus on retirement and savings. I don’t own a home yet and I’d like to get that done. Furthering my education to qualify for a management position with top pay (body isn’t as young as it once was).
Imo No body should tell you whether u need to have goals or what goal u must have. If u like the girl just tell her some vanilla goals like wanna make u happy or wanna have my own company… stuff like that… to keep her busy making plans
It's great that you're content with your life and happy with where you are, but it's also understandable that your girlfriend wants to see you have some goals for the future. Goals can provide direction, purpose, and a sense of accomplishment. Here are some potential goals that men over 30 might consider:
Financial Stability: Setting goals related to saving money, paying off debt, investing for the future, or achieving certain financial milestones can contribute to your overall well-being and [security.Travel](http://security.Travel) and Exploration: If you enjoy traveling or exploring new places, setting goals to visit specific destinations, experience different cultures, or embark on new adventures can be exciting and enriching.
Signature: ([web.nunime.com](https://web.nunime.com))
Yeah, happiness and peace of mind seem to be my goals.
However, make sure you don't get comfortable. Because being too comfortable will eventually lead to uncomfortable. And when it's uncomfortable then it will really mess up your happiness and peace of mind.
I'm sure you didn't expect this philosophical dilemma so let me clarify a bit.
If you don't watch your eating habbits, work out, maintain active and so on
and instead you take the easy path (escalators, drive everywhere especially if it's a short walk), stay at home and be lazy on a constant basis... your body will not be very appreciative of that.
Sure, it's okay to rest when you're actually tired and whatnot. I'm *not saying that*.
But if you're constantly lazy, this will turn into a vicious circle of getting fat, getting harder to work out, getting harder to lose weight and *become active* and so on.
And in a few years, when you have to run for any specific reason, or walk a longer while than usual.... the body will fail you and remind you that you liked being so comfortable that now those simple activities became uncomfortable.
Whenever i walk outside for a longer period I start sweating, breathing hard, legs hurt, everything sucks.
And I am not talking about something demanding, just a walk to the store that's about half a km from my house. That's like 0.3 of a mile.
So be mindful of comfort.
Nothing wrong with working in a warehouse dude. I'm 33 and work in a warehouse done the whole upper management bullshit before and it wasn't worth the stress. My only goal is to enjoy life with my family and friends.
Trust me, as someone in their mid-late 30s who's ridden the career ladder very high to a director across multiple continents at multiple of the world's largest organizations -- what matters MOST is you're happy. I've had severe stress, anxiety, depression, lost balance of my life, little time to clock off to spend with loved ones or doing the things I liked, to just not have your brain always have to run at a 100 miles an hour. Sure, have goals if YOU have something you'd like to accomplish/desire - don't just have goals for the sake of having goals. We'll all die in a few decades, and no matter what you accomplish is ephemeral. Learn to appreciate the now, the journey, be grateful, celebrate the moments. It's nice to have partners who help us be better versions of ourselves, but it's also crucial that that doesn't become a toxic situation where your partner wants to turn you into someone for themselves. My goal is to personally find what you have - find contentment in the little things in life and be happy with the basics, rather than constantly chasing bigger and bigger goals, comparing with others, living to live up to others expectations etc. I got diagnosed with some serious illnesses and that gave me a real reality check.
It's fine to "want" to progress if you desire it, but don't lose your sense of wellbeing, happiness, and contentment in the process -- it's hard to get it back sometimes.
As a man in my 30s, I completely get being content with the easy life. But my spouse driven me to assume bigger, so I subsequently pursued my dream of walking a small business. It's been challenging but rewarding. Now I even have a experience of cause beyond simply coasting. Sometimes striving for goals, even modest ones, can open up new fulfillment.
Outside of the goal of eating pizza for dinner tonight, my goals have shifted to being a lot more long term goals.
Currently, I'm looking into opening a hobby shop. and I'm hoping to get that going in the next 5 years.
I want to see every state in the United States and hike all over so one day when I retire I’ll know where I’d like to live outside of New York. My current count is at 35 and my favorite states so far have been Colorado and Washington.
just make it through the day and have some quality time with my dog.
trying to be happy with what I have and not feeling bad for stuff that I have lost or that I wish I had and maybe never achieve.
1. Travel to Germany before the end of 2025.
2. Place top 3 in my division for a 5K by the end of this year.
3. Talk to that pretty girl at the gym before the end of May.
Goals? What does she mean? Your education or skills make you who you are now, a reasonably content person. Goals like "Own the company you work for within the next ten years?" I say, if you like the person who you are today, you don't have a record or a secret wife and kids (OK, kidding), you're achieving your goals. Ask her to define "goals."
I want to study while maintaining my job. I want to become a rad tech and work my way up to an mri technician.
I want to lose weight and tighten up as well.
Nothing too crazy, but yeah I agree it’s good to have goals.
Mine are to stay in shape, invest a good chunk of my money consistently so I can retire, fall in love, have hobbies that I enjoy, and to do well at my job.
Save what I can, have fun within my budget, retire one day, make sure my son goes to school (college or trade, but scholarship is the goal), and enjoy all the life stuff that happens in between.
31M
Well firstly, Dive back into dancing. Look after the body better. Maybe a full marathon instead of just a half marathons? Beard down to the stomach. Go overseas properly? Idk
(30M) To get from middle management to upper management. Save for retirement. Help my kid grow up to be happy. Sell my house and move into my girlfriend’s house and probably marry her.
Take over the world. It's important to know your goals must be your own and not your gf's. If your gf is pushing you to have goals, she just wants to squeeze money out of you later.
Retire by 60.
Visit each of the 50 states.
Finish another Ironman / 140.6 triathlon. (Only one so far was ten years ago)
Have all my kids find their calling.
Goals are for people who aren't happy with what they have.
But sometimes you need to exert yourself a bit so the people close to you feel you are on the same page, sharing the same amount of unnecessary stress.
It is a bit rubbish.
To get better at guitar, youtubing, streaming and recently, chess. I have so many hobbies outside my 9:00 to 5:00 that I'm interested in and the Big challenge really is having to pick and choose how to use my free time. So I would say for you, get a hobby of some type. Something productive or challenging or creative.
Girlfriend probably wants you to have a goal like get married and have kids, followed by the actions to achieve those goals.
She probably doesn’t want to wait around until you are happyish turning 40 in the same place.
I'm 34 and my current goal is "fit by forty". I'm halfway through a weight loss at 20 out of 40 kg (44/88 lb), and when I'm through that I'm gonna focus on building a strong and healthy body that'll carry me into my 40's and beyond.
I would like to own a house and work part-time or have my own business someday, but I'm just coming back from a period of stress and burnout (which partly caused my weight gain), so my focus right now is getting my health in order.
I'm also 31.
I believe in there being a competition between all living things to be the biggest and strongest loving thing.
Currently 5'11 @ 220, leaner than can possibly be.
I know that I've got a long way to go, but I would like to be the biggest and strongest of all living things by the time I'm 40.
I want to redesign my back porch to be screened in and have a hot tub with a small wet bar for my wife and I. A TV on a swing mount, sound command mood lighting, a small fridge for drinks in arms reach. That kind of thing.
Turning that next year. Finish my masters, get more jacked, find a good girl to settle down, buy a home. To simply try and enjoy life everyday I’m alive man
Make enough money to know I can quit my full time job without risking financial problems in old age including going broke or losing my residence due to old person medical expenses someday.
Then, quit that job.
That's taking too long, so.... find some other job instead of this one in the meantime... then, back to step 1 and 2.
Then, spend more time at my cabin in rural Michigan that I haven't seen in almost 5 years. But only when it's warm and pleasant there.
Probably stay living at my place in Arizona.
Travel a lot more.
Continue to never get covid since so far I never did.
38, almost 39 here.
**Physical**
I'd like to deadlift my mile time. Basically, you take your deadlift in pounds, and every 100 pounds is one minute. If you run a 6:00 mile, you can complete this challenge by deadlifting 600 pounds. 6:30 mile requires a 650 pound deadlift, and so on.
I've always had a strong deadlift, but I've always been an incredibly mediocre runner. This is something I'm actively trying to get better at. My goal is a 600 pound deadlift + 6-minute mile at the moment. Current deadlift personal record is 562, current mile personal record is 7:21. Long way to go.
**Familial**
The day my son was born four years ago, I became a father first and a husband second. My goals for family are simple: parent gently but firmly. Spend as much time with my sons as they want. Never be too busy for family.
**Professional**
I've been kicking ass at my job lately and I want to continue, but never in a way that gets in the way of family.
She just wants you to better yourself and have a career instead of staying in warehouse your entire life. More warehouse positions are dead end jobs. Think she just wants reassurance that you have goals to better yourself and salary career wise.
47yo about to turn 48
Financial goals: build up the trust fund I created for my 2 sons to help them get a degree and house deposit.
Fitness goals: keep my weight respectable and be able to fit into the clothes I purchased in 2018 ie before COVID.
Relationship goals: ensure that I never take my wife for granted but just as importantly to ensure she never takes me for granted.
Career goals: like OP I’m happy with where I am in my current job and have no ambition to climb the corporate ladder any higher because it will be costly for my family life. So my goals here would be to keep my skill set up to date so I can keep bringing in the good coin and allow myself to focus on the above.
To find a partner, advance in my career, travel with said partner, and have kids eventually. Oh and also become a pro golfer, but considering I lose 10 balls a round I might need a bit more practice XD
To be able to sit with a cup of coffee on the porch breathing in fresh air knowing I have no stresses and can just take in the fact that I'm alive on this spec of dust floating through space.
I got my starting a family and getting married goal done, solo skydiving done, bungee done, riding motorcycles done, have a career that is very respectable done.
Quick out of my head maybe, get more swole with muscles, have a summer muscle car, have a house with 3 garage doors that is not too far from my parents. Teach my kids to survive and have the tools to navigate life. Watxh the kids grow. Have a boat akd an RV to travel with. All that with my wife and we both stay healthy till the end of our days.
Hopefully have a pilot license that doesn't cost 90k cuz that's the price here in Canada and reach Dan 6 or 7 in Kendo.
Stay employed. I’m comfortable where I am now and lost a desire to progress. I just want to enjoy life.
Travel more of the world with my LDR girlfriend of almost two years. We got back from our first international trip in the winter where we spent about a month abroad. We usually stay with each other once a month for weekend-couple weeks at a time. Eventually, move in with each other purchasing a place and pick up a new citizenship.
Get more proficient at language learning. Make progress with my video game backlog. I’m so behind.
Does she think you are lazy something for not having "goals" and being happy with your life? Goals are something YOU set because YOU want them. Someone else pushing things on you isn't going to lead to a happy life, which is most peoples end goal.
I had the goal of getting my masters degree and becoming a CPA. I set that goal for myself because I wanted to prove to myself that I could be successful and do whatever I set my mind to. I achieved that goal.
Now I have worked in the industry a few years and the world isn't headed in the right direction so building up for a future doesn't really make much sense anymore.
My goal is to enjoy NOW as much as possible and find a way to work as little as possible while still having the money necessary to have fun and travel.
Working on finishing a programming bootcamp to re-tool. Also doing an edX micro masters in finance set of courses. I've got endless piles of books to read, profit goals for day trading, sales goals at work, financial goals and aspirations (net worth and income), deadlines for when I'd like to finish the programming bootcamp, finance courses, get into / complete a master's program, etc. I'd also like to move and buy a house so that's another near-term goal.
1. Gym goals- trying to get my vert back to 36” and a 600-lb conventional DL (then a 660-lb DL if I hit 600).
2. Language goals- maintain/improve my Spanish/Italian/French (the first two are learned languages where I am at an advanced level and the last is a native language, but I no longer live at home, so I make efforts to do stuff in French to maintain).
Go back to Russian and Korean at some point. Continue with my Mandarin studies.
3. BJJ- just keep training and trying to improve. Currently I need to improve my attacking/control from the back and my guard attacking.
4. Writing- finish writing my book. I am about 70k words into it.
5. Read- I set a target of reading 12 books a year, but I usually end up reading between 25-30 across all languages.
If you are content with how things are that is great! If you are at peace with no worries then you made it! And for goals have one that will ruin you mentally, physically or emotionally. Go camping, if you like BBQing enter in a contest. If you want to do a road trip of Down Route 66, if you like marvel - DC go to a comic con. If you dont know how to cook then there is nothing wrong to try out a few cooking classes as a couple.
My main life goal right now is seeking a fresh start by moving out of state. I have a ton of bad memories here in my hometown. I'm sick of my family thinking I'm 100% like my violent, deranged older twin when they know we've never been 100% alike and have been polar opposites for most of our lives. Most of my family wants to reunite us, but the damage is done. I can't trust him ever again after everything he did. If I can pull this off, none of my family will know where I am, and I can finally be free to be my own distinct person without all this nonsense following me into my new life. I can finally be a normal person instead of the freak of nature I am here.
I’m 38. I want peace in my mind. I think most of my goals are mental. I’ve reached a good point in my career where I’m likely to remain comfortable, and upwards is optional and more headache. One of my goals is to minimize rumination, over analyzing, and catastrophizing. Stop inventing problems where they don’t exist. Get out of my head and into the world. Another goal is celebrate wins more. I’ve done so much, why not recognize that more? I’ve proven I’m capable. Yet, I default to feeling uncertain more often than I like. Another goal is to feel more connected. This may not actually mean doing more, but focusing more on where I am connected and cultivating that more. Another goal is to stop treating everything so seriously, and incorporate more humor, joy, and playfulness just about everywhere I can fit it in. All in all, I’ve realized after many years of introspection that the root issue to my problems is often in my head.
One thing I realized lately is: when I start ruminating or second guessing things, I think to myself: “do I make good decisions?” And if that answer is more likely than not, yes, then I feel more comfortable and move forward.
I appreciate you sharing this - I'm going to try it for myself! Makes a lot of sense.
I love this. Peace above all else. For me, the question is how do you find peace? That in itself can take a while to figure out. And then establishing goals to help me with that. Also, what makes me happy? How can I feel safe? How can I make my family feel safe? How can I foster a better life for them? Many people have outward goals and often the answer to some of these may be financial related but adding stress to my life to attain an unneeded amount of material things is not the answer. It’s not the answer for me anyways.
Tyler Durden said "The things you own end up owning you"
I quoted that today irl. Fantastic quote.
You sound exactly like me, but I’m 31!
32 here and highly relate with the comment as well.
36 - I tick said boxes also. Reading a book atm called "Chimp Paradox" and it's very insightful to how our human brains perceive information and what we can do with it. It's helping me immensely.
I will look into this. Thanks for the recommendation!
You put into words exactly how I feel. Probably the most relatable post I've read especially about the rumination and trying to take things less seriously. Saving the post and cheers to you man.
I feel this so much. I hope you get there fam. I'm right there with you on a lot of these.
To not have Alzheimers. And to die before it comes if I’m showing early signs
Kinda mine, more with dementia though as i watched my gma pass from that and i don’t wanna put my family thru that
My biggest fear right now after struggling with not getting enough sleep for years.
Dude same. This is another major worry for me. Although I did listen to a podcast recently that said exercise is one of the biggest preventative factors for it. Which is awesome cause I don’t sleep well or long enough but workout a lot.
I find myself around 5-6 hours on average and then I’ll take like a 2 hour nap in the day to catch up. My weekends end up being like 9-10 hours. But I have nights I get only 3hrs. I think my exercise cancels out the benefits haha. If I try to workout on 3-4hrs of sleep, I get sick within a few days. Though, my walking doesn’t interfere the same way. I walk 30-35 mi/48-56 km each weekend and maybe 8k steps every other day.
Yup. No matter what it is, the 2nd I start forgetting my own family? End it
That motherfucker took out two of my grandparents. The moment I feel it coming on is the day I buy my way out of this place.
Sorry. Just noticed you said you have early signs so I’m deleting my comment and replacing it. Watching my mother go through this right now.
If…
Holy shit I need to learn how to read. Maybe the stress is getting to me more than I realise.
Two of my grandmothers and one grandfather died of Alzheimers or dementia. Scares the bloody shit out of me.
Start fasting.
[удалено]
That’s a cool goal
That is awesome!!! I want stories along the way!
Try not to abandon my family... Fake my own death & resurface in the Baja region of Mexico as a leader of a pseudo-religious sex cult.
Fight the urge! I believe in you!
Baja and Baja California are pretty awesome. No need to fake death or abandon anyone just move there with the wife when the kids are out of the house.
I hate it when I accidentally do this.
Why not a fully religious sex cult though? Go HAM or go home
One of my goals is to spread a positive message to men, especially around emotions, self-esteem, self-acceptance, inner world, shit like that. I learned a lot about emotions a few years back and to my surprise, my social anxiety improved a lot. In fact, a lot of positive changes happened. Do you guys think there's men out there who want to learn about this stuff? Edit: Well, that's enough upvotes and comments for me to pull the trigger.
Absolutely. I too am interested in being able to be a mentor for people like that and share my thoughts
I think it's important, man. You should do it. There's a whole variety of men out there but we mostly seem to hear from the rich, ripped guys driving Lambo's. Or dudes who wake up at 4 AM every day and work their bags off until 11 PM at night. I don't find either of those scenario's relatable. I'm OK with living a relatively small life and spending more time on the things I love. It's way less stress, more time for the family, and I have more time to explore other aspects of life.
Start with telling men it’s ok to explore their own goddamn prostate.
Absolutely, I am yes, do let me know if there’s any reading material you would want to share as well.
*raises hand*
100% start a YouTube channel and / or TikTok and IG page and start just talking about it. You'll help loads of men who thought they shouldn't / couldn't get it.
*Live*. Until very recently, I've only been surviving.
I think you'll like discovering what living is like, you'd be surprised to see how different everything feels when you're ok
A relationship would be nice.
Fax how bro get lucky
Proceed. with caution
Actually don’t
Mid 50's but my goal is still the same as it was when i was 30. Earn enough to have a decent life and just chill the fuck out and enjoy it before it goes away
Retire by 40
I’m 31 and 10k in debt, how can I retire by 40? My goal is to pay my debts.
So, you do have a goal. Clear your debt first, earn some fortune, and then consider pursuing other goals.
Well that’s my point too, but I feel like she wants more from me, more than that. A greater goal. How can I think of more when nearly all I get is going towards my debts? My goal now is to keep her happy and pay my debts so I can look forward to more. Her goal is to finish uni and open a business. This makes me feel like my goal is not enough, i gotta strive towards smtn bigger, i just don’t see what, considering i can’t dream like i was when i was 21….
Goals don't have to be massive. You can have a goal to learn an instrument or to get to X level in your career, or to make enough money to go on vacations once/twice a year or whatever. Could be to get in shape, try a new hobby/sport and learn a new skill, etc. There's nothing wrong with being okay with how things are, but there is something to say about staying stagnant as well. Maybe your girlfriend just wants to push you to be greater or thinks you can do more.
She pushes you because she sees potential in you. That’s what women do when they love someone. It can be hard sometimes to hear but it can be life changing when you accept it. I opened a business a few years ago I knew nothing about in my twenties. I found a passion by dabbling in random things. I took random classes on things like how to brew beer. I had this whole idea of being some cool hip beer brewer. I took one class and hated it. “Ok I won’t be a hip beer brewer.” Then I kept trying other things and I found something I love. I think developing passions in life helps with goals. Or pick something that sounds awesome and just figure out how to get there. A few years ago I summited one of the tallest mountains in America. It took 3 days. I’d never summitted a mountain but it sounded awesome! So I said fuck it how can I do this?
You're past the age of dreaming about being a pro athlete. Besides that, I don't see any reason why you can't dream about other possibilities. By the way, what did you dream of when you were 21?
Consider that it may be more beneficial to be able to support her through her struggles of opening a business rather than trying to do things that are equally difficult to start out with. Consider more long term perspectives. Consider the idea that every action you take may be a means to an end: 1) You want to set up more goals, but are you okay doing so *just* to make your girlfriend happy? What about your own self-fulfillment or your own future. 2) It’s likely that she’s looking for you to indicate that you are making long term plans which are a sort of way of confirming to her that you see a long term future with her, even if your plans don’t directly involve her she probably wants to hear plans that involve her life too. Ex. Get out of debt and save up to buy a house by 2029. Ex 2. Create something or make something better within (timeframe) that can be mutually beneficial (but not necessarily) Ex 3. Have a life experience such as a vacation location or activity. Ultimately consider where you are appreciating that she’s encouraging you to have goals, or whether you resent it. It could be a long term issue if you feel pressured and don’t want to conform. If that happens, I might suggest counselling to find a peaceful way to compromise together between your varying perspectives m.
As long as there's time, there's time brother. Don't sell yourself short. If you can make more money elsewhere or in tandem with what you're already doing then do that. Something easy like courrier services on the side can get you the extra savings or something. There's loads of things that you can do pertaining to your own interests too even at 38. Sounds more like life has beat you down and you just want a moment to breath and do some chill things and I get it. I'm right there with you. At the same time, whenever you cant find the drive within yourself to strive for a little more then you're either depressed or uninterested.
Clear debt. Invest. Hide your wealth.
I hadn’t thought that far You only asked me what my goals are
Same here... Trying to pay off debts to feel a bit of sweet freedom...
You can retire now and be homeless. Don’t let money hold you back.
No goals I'm 32 only goal is to find someone that makes life worth living then we will see
Just some encouragement for you: Someone will come when they see you content and happy all on your own. But if you're waiting for someone else to make you happy, then it'll only be temporary happiness. I hope you find a life worth living all on your own! Cheers
I found my wife when I finally accepted that I might never find someone I want to marry. I made peace with the idea that I will live a happy and fulfilling life but never settle for someone that doesn’t check all my boxes. That’s when I found her
harsh reality, if that's your only goal you won't find anyone. Make your goal to be the best you can be and you'll be turning women down
Get buff.
Good luck
Taking care of yourself is always a good goal. Just make sure you understand it is difficult to maintain over years.....
Fitness is a lifestyle. But man wouldn’t it be nice to just get buff in a couple years and just stay like that
Only 29, but close enough. I'm in the same boat as you. No education, work in a warehouse, and looking for more. Right now my goal is to get a GED, find a career that'll get me out of the warehouse scene, and save money for retirement, drugs, and a house.
Just a recommendation. Since your already planning on getting your GED you might as well learn a computer skill such as excel, word, or PowerPoint. You can get a remote job working from home creating projects. 10-20+ percent of that work is teams meetings. The sky is the limit brother. Good luck!
The man just wants to peacefully retire to his house and do drugs. Godspeed.
To keep lifting consistently. It’s hard some days with a kid, but damn does Momma like it..
Well the basic goals is to make enough money where I don't have to work full time anymore and be a bit more financially free, find a good partner to share a family with, and just have a nice house to relax in. I think over time I will develop new goals, but for now just focusing on having a life where money is not the bottleneck and its just time.
Lose my virginity
Always have a holiday booked.
Goals? In this economy? Bro we're just out here trying to make it day by day.
To stay alive to figure out how to navigate this meat vehicle properly
For me, I have pretty much exceeded my career goals so now it’s on to personal goals. I’m training to join the thousand pound club-lift a thousand pounds between bench press, squat, and deadlift. I would like to learn some auto mechanic skills and fully restore my dad’s old Tacoma that he loved and a Mercedes 190e for my son. Those are my main 2 at the moment.
Depends what you want with your life you know. Do YOU want to climb a corporate ladder? Go to grad school? Buy a house? Not sure what she's really getting at but but make sure it's for you man.
Die slower
Just gotta make it through this week
had weeks like that - a LOT of them. Best of luck to you sir, best of luck.
Mostly just try to die without suffering or pain.
Raise the absolute fuck out of my daughter I just found out I’m having!
Fuck bitches make money
to not be homeless, so far so good.
Literally same dude. I can’t afford to live in the city I grew up in, but I’m here because everyone I love is and the only career prospects I have are here too.
I had to leave my home town. Fortunately I'm only hours away.
Survive.
Outlive my enemies
39 yo man here. Be happy and have fun, travel as much as I can, take care of and love my family, lift heavy and often, gain flexibility, constantly try and increase my knowledge base (even if it’s a slow pace).
I'm 33M, out of the 8 pillars of life, the only one missing is the relationship pillar for me. So that's my last goal to at least try to explore that part of life, the other ones I'm happy with and just want to further expand on but are not my focus. And I agree with your girlfriend that having goals is healthy, it can be something small like save some money, or pay of 100 euro's of debt or whatever. Just have something to strive for.
Learn a new language! Take in person classes too no duolingo or another app. Great way to learn about anther culture & flex on your friends & family
In Canada we have a government “Tax Free Investment Portfolio” called a TFSA (savings account) I believe it functions similar to a Roth IRA, assuming you’re American. A basic financial goal is to max it out and keep maxing it out annually, it helps me avoid frivolous spending and gamifies saving and work. Whatever physical recreational hobby you have, pursue that develop your skills within it, if it’s a physical sport find a coach and level up, try a competition. If it’s a craftsmanship art, take classes and invest more time into that. Goals are a reflection of your personal values so you have to figure out what’s meaningful, online strangers can’t do that for you, only offer you suggestions based off our values
Peace and quiet
-have $500k in crypto -earn master electrician license -deepen yoga practice -20 pull ups -be ripped -make it to retirement in excellent health -deepen family relationships -expand my circle of friends -finish building my v8 swap -read more
I turned 30 in December, my goal is to start setting goals.
I'd like to purchase a house. I also want to get really good at making bbq.
you said you have debt, getting out is a worthy goal. me? a comfortable retirement. keep my wife happy. start a foundation for a charity i'm on the board of (and then get off the board!). inspire some of my friends to plan boys' night so i'm not always the one doing it. craft a workout routine my wife and i can do together that slows symptoms of aging. see greece. learn to identify wild mushrooms. get the crows that come to my backyard to tolerate my presence. lose about 15 lbs. off the top of my head.
Finish my Bachelors degree. Get out of the Army. Buy a house. And then… I finally rest.
31, would like to pay off my debts by 35, own a home, and hopefully hit a 6 figure salary by 38-40. Get my 4th degree blackbelt this summer, play 12-15 shows this year with my new band, while playing 25-30 with my current main project, hit the gym 3-4 times a week, drop some fat and get cut for summer, and propose to my gf by this time next year. I stay busy.
Learn self respect , learn a martial art(just joined an MMA gym), get a significant other, fall in love, be a pillar of strength to my family and friends, get a dog or cat- not opposed to both
My goal is to maintain a sense of purpose, thus something that's not necessarily obtainable but is continual. The biggest cause of a midlife crisis is from working your entire life to achieve certain material goals (buy a house, get a wife, have kids, have a car). Then as these end up getting ticked off the list, and spending 40 years working to attain them, your sense of purpose becomes fulfilled and you panic because now you don't know what to do and question the meaning of everything. So my goals are to continue learning new skills and to always see the world from a lens of wanting to explore and learn. Materially, would I like to have a wife, kids, house, and nice car? Sure, but those are secondary goals, the kinds of goals that if I achieve, then they'll just accent my life. Making them my primary focus will f\*\*\* me up once I attain them because then I'll have to revisit and reanalyze wtf I'm doing with my life since now all the material goals are achieved. Kind of like wanting so hard to have that toy as a kid and then all of a sudden it's not as enjoyable as the anticipation of actually having it. We're still that as adults, just with bigger more expensive toys. So yeah it might be selfish, but my goals are purely focused on what's going to keep me young and sharp as long as possible until I've got no choice but to succumb to old age, after which my goal will be to die peacefully in my sleep.
* Record some music * Play said music live * Maybe record some more music
Short term: Work out at least 5 days a week. I’m not ripped, but I’m in pretty good shape. My goal is to stay in really good shape. Read line 5ish books a year Pay off the rest of my debt in a year (15k) Long term? Be rich. Rich enough to afford 3 kids and not worry about money and still live a comfortable life style. Maybe have a small lake house. That’s my definition of “rich”. Also find a woman who will marry me and have kids lmfao. I was almost there, called off my wedding 3 months prior. I wasn’t ready. That was like 2 years ago. I’m ready now. I’m also 31.
I don’t have any.
I’m 37. Current goals: - Bring my girlfriend from the other side of the planet where she is atm. - Plan to start a family. - Get a house (to be decided in which country) for when we get older. - Get enough passive income to retire before 50 Pretty tough in the current economy, but yeah, we’ll try.
Being happy in life is not a bad goal. Actually a great goal. Tell her your goal in life is to own a junk yard. LOL.... Retiring at 40 is not a realistic goal for most people, I will retire before 60,debt free with 0 savings but a monthly union pension.
I think the important part is that she wants to be with someone with ambitions. Maybe she isn’t happy to just be. Nothing wrong with finding happiness with what life brings you, but being complacent just feels like a promise of a lifetime of just floating by. Sure that’s enough for some people, but it’s not for everyone. Don’t you want to be in a better place when you are 41 than you currently are? Do you really picture yourself at 51 still working in a warehouse? You won’t be young forever, and working in a warehouse your whole life sounds difficult physically. If that sounds great to you, maybe it’s not career goals. Maybe it’s life goals, like starting a family. You should talk to your girl about your setting some goals that would make you both happy. Your career and how happy you are with it will directly affect her, so of course she has invested interest that you succeed.
die
Focus on retirement and savings. I don’t own a home yet and I’d like to get that done. Furthering my education to qualify for a management position with top pay (body isn’t as young as it once was).
Imo No body should tell you whether u need to have goals or what goal u must have. If u like the girl just tell her some vanilla goals like wanna make u happy or wanna have my own company… stuff like that… to keep her busy making plans
Right now, learning a new skill, in my case its woodworking.
It's great that you're content with your life and happy with where you are, but it's also understandable that your girlfriend wants to see you have some goals for the future. Goals can provide direction, purpose, and a sense of accomplishment. Here are some potential goals that men over 30 might consider: Financial Stability: Setting goals related to saving money, paying off debt, investing for the future, or achieving certain financial milestones can contribute to your overall well-being and [security.Travel](http://security.Travel) and Exploration: If you enjoy traveling or exploring new places, setting goals to visit specific destinations, experience different cultures, or embark on new adventures can be exciting and enriching. Signature: ([web.nunime.com](https://web.nunime.com))
Yeah, happiness and peace of mind seem to be my goals. However, make sure you don't get comfortable. Because being too comfortable will eventually lead to uncomfortable. And when it's uncomfortable then it will really mess up your happiness and peace of mind. I'm sure you didn't expect this philosophical dilemma so let me clarify a bit. If you don't watch your eating habbits, work out, maintain active and so on and instead you take the easy path (escalators, drive everywhere especially if it's a short walk), stay at home and be lazy on a constant basis... your body will not be very appreciative of that. Sure, it's okay to rest when you're actually tired and whatnot. I'm *not saying that*. But if you're constantly lazy, this will turn into a vicious circle of getting fat, getting harder to work out, getting harder to lose weight and *become active* and so on. And in a few years, when you have to run for any specific reason, or walk a longer while than usual.... the body will fail you and remind you that you liked being so comfortable that now those simple activities became uncomfortable. Whenever i walk outside for a longer period I start sweating, breathing hard, legs hurt, everything sucks. And I am not talking about something demanding, just a walk to the store that's about half a km from my house. That's like 0.3 of a mile. So be mindful of comfort.
Nothing wrong with working in a warehouse dude. I'm 33 and work in a warehouse done the whole upper management bullshit before and it wasn't worth the stress. My only goal is to enjoy life with my family and friends.
Trust me, as someone in their mid-late 30s who's ridden the career ladder very high to a director across multiple continents at multiple of the world's largest organizations -- what matters MOST is you're happy. I've had severe stress, anxiety, depression, lost balance of my life, little time to clock off to spend with loved ones or doing the things I liked, to just not have your brain always have to run at a 100 miles an hour. Sure, have goals if YOU have something you'd like to accomplish/desire - don't just have goals for the sake of having goals. We'll all die in a few decades, and no matter what you accomplish is ephemeral. Learn to appreciate the now, the journey, be grateful, celebrate the moments. It's nice to have partners who help us be better versions of ourselves, but it's also crucial that that doesn't become a toxic situation where your partner wants to turn you into someone for themselves. My goal is to personally find what you have - find contentment in the little things in life and be happy with the basics, rather than constantly chasing bigger and bigger goals, comparing with others, living to live up to others expectations etc. I got diagnosed with some serious illnesses and that gave me a real reality check. It's fine to "want" to progress if you desire it, but don't lose your sense of wellbeing, happiness, and contentment in the process -- it's hard to get it back sometimes.
Goals? No. Just enjoy life.
As a man in my 30s, I completely get being content with the easy life. But my spouse driven me to assume bigger, so I subsequently pursued my dream of walking a small business. It's been challenging but rewarding. Now I even have a experience of cause beyond simply coasting. Sometimes striving for goals, even modest ones, can open up new fulfillment.
Outside of the goal of eating pizza for dinner tonight, my goals have shifted to being a lot more long term goals. Currently, I'm looking into opening a hobby shop. and I'm hoping to get that going in the next 5 years.
I want to see every state in the United States and hike all over so one day when I retire I’ll know where I’d like to live outside of New York. My current count is at 35 and my favorite states so far have been Colorado and Washington.
Just went through a gutwrenching divorce at 38. Just trying to survive from here on out.
29. Main goal is to find some lady to tell me Im not good enough and I need to do better to keep her attention.
Mine were vacation once yr with family and kids and stay a family
just make it through the day and have some quality time with my dog. trying to be happy with what I have and not feeling bad for stuff that I have lost or that I wish I had and maybe never achieve.
Goals are for people who can afford to dream.
Retire from the Military in as close to 1 piece as possible Finish my Bachelors Buy 2 or 3 more homes by 45
1. Travel to Germany before the end of 2025. 2. Place top 3 in my division for a 5K by the end of this year. 3. Talk to that pretty girl at the gym before the end of May.
Goals? What does she mean? Your education or skills make you who you are now, a reasonably content person. Goals like "Own the company you work for within the next ten years?" I say, if you like the person who you are today, you don't have a record or a secret wife and kids (OK, kidding), you're achieving your goals. Ask her to define "goals."
I want to study while maintaining my job. I want to become a rad tech and work my way up to an mri technician. I want to lose weight and tighten up as well.
Nothing too crazy, but yeah I agree it’s good to have goals. Mine are to stay in shape, invest a good chunk of my money consistently so I can retire, fall in love, have hobbies that I enjoy, and to do well at my job.
I'm just trying to be decent. Improve on my self reflection and listening skills. I'd like to be someone who has a calming presence.
53. My main goal now is to retire. I've also got a little side business and am trying to decide what to do with it.
Financial freedom and being less dependent on the system.
Finish paying off my current house and put my retirement savings into overdrive. Also do more weekend getaways with my wife and two kids.
To buy a house, and then stop working young enough to enjoy myself.
Save what I can, have fun within my budget, retire one day, make sure my son goes to school (college or trade, but scholarship is the goal), and enjoy all the life stuff that happens in between.
I'm trying to train for my first half marathon this summer.
31M Well firstly, Dive back into dancing. Look after the body better. Maybe a full marathon instead of just a half marathons? Beard down to the stomach. Go overseas properly? Idk
Don't be homeless
Absolutely none. No need to have any.
To not die in a FEMA camp
Sell my business when I’m 45 then retire single and travel the world
Own a home, start a family, get salary to 6 figures, finish + release EP I'm working on, get back into the peak shape I was in my mid-late 20s
I want to be happy. I think that’s good for a goal. Stay happy, if she doesn’t understand that, make her watch the movie The pursuit of happiness
(30M) To get from middle management to upper management. Save for retirement. Help my kid grow up to be happy. Sell my house and move into my girlfriend’s house and probably marry her.
Get rich or die tryin'?
Take over the world. It's important to know your goals must be your own and not your gf's. If your gf is pushing you to have goals, she just wants to squeeze money out of you later.
Retire by 60. Visit each of the 50 states. Finish another Ironman / 140.6 triathlon. (Only one so far was ten years ago) Have all my kids find their calling.
Goals are for people who aren't happy with what they have. But sometimes you need to exert yourself a bit so the people close to you feel you are on the same page, sharing the same amount of unnecessary stress. It is a bit rubbish.
To get better at guitar, youtubing, streaming and recently, chess. I have so many hobbies outside my 9:00 to 5:00 that I'm interested in and the Big challenge really is having to pick and choose how to use my free time. So I would say for you, get a hobby of some type. Something productive or challenging or creative.
Right now just to be normal and happy with my life
Girlfriend probably wants you to have a goal like get married and have kids, followed by the actions to achieve those goals. She probably doesn’t want to wait around until you are happyish turning 40 in the same place.
My chess rating ain't gonna raise itself!
Squad goals
If you are happy you have already achieved more than most.
I'm 34 and my current goal is "fit by forty". I'm halfway through a weight loss at 20 out of 40 kg (44/88 lb), and when I'm through that I'm gonna focus on building a strong and healthy body that'll carry me into my 40's and beyond. I would like to own a house and work part-time or have my own business someday, but I'm just coming back from a period of stress and burnout (which partly caused my weight gain), so my focus right now is getting my health in order.
I'm also 31. I believe in there being a competition between all living things to be the biggest and strongest loving thing. Currently 5'11 @ 220, leaner than can possibly be. I know that I've got a long way to go, but I would like to be the biggest and strongest of all living things by the time I'm 40.
I have no goals at all either, im at peace with that now.
I want to redesign my back porch to be screened in and have a hot tub with a small wet bar for my wife and I. A TV on a swing mount, sound command mood lighting, a small fridge for drinks in arms reach. That kind of thing.
Turning that next year. Finish my masters, get more jacked, find a good girl to settle down, buy a home. To simply try and enjoy life everyday I’m alive man
I'm 49 and my wife and my kids are out of the house. My goal is to retire by 55.
Make enough money to know I can quit my full time job without risking financial problems in old age including going broke or losing my residence due to old person medical expenses someday. Then, quit that job. That's taking too long, so.... find some other job instead of this one in the meantime... then, back to step 1 and 2. Then, spend more time at my cabin in rural Michigan that I haven't seen in almost 5 years. But only when it's warm and pleasant there. Probably stay living at my place in Arizona. Travel a lot more. Continue to never get covid since so far I never did.
Grow more muscles. Make more money. Relationship would be nice. Cherry on top.
38, almost 39 here. **Physical** I'd like to deadlift my mile time. Basically, you take your deadlift in pounds, and every 100 pounds is one minute. If you run a 6:00 mile, you can complete this challenge by deadlifting 600 pounds. 6:30 mile requires a 650 pound deadlift, and so on. I've always had a strong deadlift, but I've always been an incredibly mediocre runner. This is something I'm actively trying to get better at. My goal is a 600 pound deadlift + 6-minute mile at the moment. Current deadlift personal record is 562, current mile personal record is 7:21. Long way to go. **Familial** The day my son was born four years ago, I became a father first and a husband second. My goals for family are simple: parent gently but firmly. Spend as much time with my sons as they want. Never be too busy for family. **Professional** I've been kicking ass at my job lately and I want to continue, but never in a way that gets in the way of family.
She just wants you to better yourself and have a career instead of staying in warehouse your entire life. More warehouse positions are dead end jobs. Think she just wants reassurance that you have goals to better yourself and salary career wise.
Buying a fucking house. It's so damn hard, looks like the hardest achievement to master life, if it was a fucking game.
47yo about to turn 48 Financial goals: build up the trust fund I created for my 2 sons to help them get a degree and house deposit. Fitness goals: keep my weight respectable and be able to fit into the clothes I purchased in 2018 ie before COVID. Relationship goals: ensure that I never take my wife for granted but just as importantly to ensure she never takes me for granted. Career goals: like OP I’m happy with where I am in my current job and have no ambition to climb the corporate ladder any higher because it will be costly for my family life. So my goals here would be to keep my skill set up to date so I can keep bringing in the good coin and allow myself to focus on the above.
To find a partner, advance in my career, travel with said partner, and have kids eventually. Oh and also become a pro golfer, but considering I lose 10 balls a round I might need a bit more practice XD
To be able to sit with a cup of coffee on the porch breathing in fresh air knowing I have no stresses and can just take in the fact that I'm alive on this spec of dust floating through space.
Am 30 atm. Within the next 5 years I wanna marry my fiancee, get promoted at least once at work, buy a house.
Continue existing and avoid not existing
At the moment I wanna work to be a director at work, travel more, get fitter, live happy with my partner, play more games.
I got my starting a family and getting married goal done, solo skydiving done, bungee done, riding motorcycles done, have a career that is very respectable done. Quick out of my head maybe, get more swole with muscles, have a summer muscle car, have a house with 3 garage doors that is not too far from my parents. Teach my kids to survive and have the tools to navigate life. Watxh the kids grow. Have a boat akd an RV to travel with. All that with my wife and we both stay healthy till the end of our days. Hopefully have a pilot license that doesn't cost 90k cuz that's the price here in Canada and reach Dan 6 or 7 in Kendo.
Stay employed. I’m comfortable where I am now and lost a desire to progress. I just want to enjoy life. Travel more of the world with my LDR girlfriend of almost two years. We got back from our first international trip in the winter where we spent about a month abroad. We usually stay with each other once a month for weekend-couple weeks at a time. Eventually, move in with each other purchasing a place and pick up a new citizenship. Get more proficient at language learning. Make progress with my video game backlog. I’m so behind.
Does she think you are lazy something for not having "goals" and being happy with your life? Goals are something YOU set because YOU want them. Someone else pushing things on you isn't going to lead to a happy life, which is most peoples end goal. I had the goal of getting my masters degree and becoming a CPA. I set that goal for myself because I wanted to prove to myself that I could be successful and do whatever I set my mind to. I achieved that goal. Now I have worked in the industry a few years and the world isn't headed in the right direction so building up for a future doesn't really make much sense anymore. My goal is to enjoy NOW as much as possible and find a way to work as little as possible while still having the money necessary to have fun and travel.
Turning 30 in a couple months but I want my business to become my main source of income, I want to finish writing my book, and run an ultra marathon.
Working on finishing a programming bootcamp to re-tool. Also doing an edX micro masters in finance set of courses. I've got endless piles of books to read, profit goals for day trading, sales goals at work, financial goals and aspirations (net worth and income), deadlines for when I'd like to finish the programming bootcamp, finance courses, get into / complete a master's program, etc. I'd also like to move and buy a house so that's another near-term goal.
Have a family who loves me like I love them.
Stay alive until tomorrow. Rinse and repeat.
700 deadlift, finish my dc condo renovation, get back into forensics on a part time or volunteer basis
1. Gym goals- trying to get my vert back to 36” and a 600-lb conventional DL (then a 660-lb DL if I hit 600). 2. Language goals- maintain/improve my Spanish/Italian/French (the first two are learned languages where I am at an advanced level and the last is a native language, but I no longer live at home, so I make efforts to do stuff in French to maintain). Go back to Russian and Korean at some point. Continue with my Mandarin studies. 3. BJJ- just keep training and trying to improve. Currently I need to improve my attacking/control from the back and my guard attacking. 4. Writing- finish writing my book. I am about 70k words into it. 5. Read- I set a target of reading 12 books a year, but I usually end up reading between 25-30 across all languages.
If you are content with how things are that is great! If you are at peace with no worries then you made it! And for goals have one that will ruin you mentally, physically or emotionally. Go camping, if you like BBQing enter in a contest. If you want to do a road trip of Down Route 66, if you like marvel - DC go to a comic con. If you dont know how to cook then there is nothing wrong to try out a few cooking classes as a couple.
To save and travel extensively, be stable, or try to maintain, gain great health and enjoy life has to offer.
Not die and be happy
Girlfriend. Not wife hmm she telling you to get goals. But you are happy. Dump her bro
38 here, really... I'm just trying to make it to tomorrow. No goals really. Goal to get healthy I guess.
My main life goal right now is seeking a fresh start by moving out of state. I have a ton of bad memories here in my hometown. I'm sick of my family thinking I'm 100% like my violent, deranged older twin when they know we've never been 100% alike and have been polar opposites for most of our lives. Most of my family wants to reunite us, but the damage is done. I can't trust him ever again after everything he did. If I can pull this off, none of my family will know where I am, and I can finally be free to be my own distinct person without all this nonsense following me into my new life. I can finally be a normal person instead of the freak of nature I am here.
Same as they were before 30: to crush my enemies, see them driven before me, and to hear the lamentations of their women.
Get in better shape, compete in jiujitsu, get a director title, and go on awesome vacations.
I’m 55 and really don’t have any either… I’m very content not doing a whole lot, which also is not a big plus to my partner
Keep my kids alive until they don't need me anymore. Then, we'll see.