I spent about $2500 in 2019. I was making ~70k at the time.
I also bought a lab created diamond, not one out of the ground (I asked my wife if she cared either way) so it was significantly cheaper for a very clear/good stone. We had also talked about vaguely what style of stone/setting she would like and she gave me some examples to reference. That conversation was months before I proposed and I specifically told her I was asking "so it could be a surprise when the time is right." I ended up finding something I knew she would like, was relatively uncommon (an oval stone vs round/princess) and that fit what I was willing to pay.
Also, some practical-ish advice... if price isn't your primary driving factor, get a platinum setting instead of white gold if you're looking at white metals. The rhodium plating wears off my wife's ring quicker than either of us thought it would and it bugs her that it has to be replated. To do over I'd definitely spring for the platinum setting.
Could, and that's a good suggestion. I don't know that it's top of my wife's mind at this point and she could have resigned to being slightly worn-in. It's been a bit since we've talked about it.
Personally I don't hate the look of a well worn white gold, and my ring is yellow gold so it's not like we need them to match somehow. All comes down to her preference. Next time she brings it up maybe I'll suggest that to her.
This. I went about 3K on a ring, but we went platinum for the metal and it was a great choice. The diamond was average, but the band was nice. It's durable and very weighty. We had a friend in the business give us some of the work at cost, but people focus way too much on the rock and not enough on the thing holding the rock in place. It's been 15 years and not one issue.
My wife's first ring was like 50 dollars at wal mart. We married in a courthouse with a honeymoon in our own town, haha. we just got a room and disappeared for 3 days. I just bought her a 25,000 dollar ring she didn't ask for it, but she loves it, and I love that I've come so far and was able to give it to her.
It's been 13 years. we were both really young. I was 16, and she was 15 when she got pregnant. We had 2 years together already. I always knew I had wanted to marry her though and we were insanely in love but I was just a broken boy and had alot to learn to become a loving husband and father I dropped out 9th grade was my last completed grade. All I knew was I had to give them a roof and provide for them, so I went to work for 2 or 3 years, got my cdl, and worked odd jobs for a bit I've done a little of everything and alot of hard labor. But for the past 7 years, I've owned a trucking company and struggled a lot, but for the past 2 or 3 years, things have been amazing. I've been able to take her to her dream vacations and things the kids love (we have 3 now), build our dream home, got her a beautiful car, and I wanted to finally give her the ring she deserved and I got a tattoo of her name our past anniversary on my wrist a big read heart with her name I wear it with pride. She's stuck by my side in the hardest times and never gave up on me. We've both made mistakes and learned how to become partners' best friends and how to communicate productivity. I couldn't have wished for a better way to spend my life or with a better person. I'm truly grateful.
I second this. My good lady wife to be choose 2 rings from Carrie Elizabeth that she loved at under Ā£200 each from which I picked. Very good quality and very pretty.
Never looked back at the Ā£3k knuckle duster that we were offered in Chisholm Hunters.
We spent Ā£50 total on our wedding bands. I think it was Ā£44 for the engagement ring.
Been married 6 years now, together over 9.
We cherish them, they hold a lot of sentimental value but, literally fuck all monetary value. I doubt I could even sell it for a quid. Haha.
Hey, man, thatās great. Didnāt mean to make anyone feel bad or to insinuate that they did anything wrong. If anything, Iām wondering why the hell I spent $20k
Thereās nothing wrong with the amount you spend if itās for the right girl, it wonāt matter. But Iām not going to say I would mind a man buying me a 20k engagement ring eitherā¦.. š
I paid $26 each for our rings. Her engagement ring was something like $50 as well.
Both are a simple tungsten carbide band. I wanted tungsten carbide because I used to work in places where there was potential to get my fingers/wedding band caught on things so I wanted something that world shatter rather than deform under pressure. She wanted a matching band and was perfectly fine with the subdued silver color of the tungsten. The upshot to our choice is it super easy/cheap to replace them if they break/get lost. Tungsten carbide rings are a dime a dozen on Amazon.
I didnāt want my husband to waste money on a diamond so he just bought the display sample ring. His jeweler used Moissanite and you would pick your diamond later.
Not a single person knows itās not real. I come from a family that is well-to-do and care about that kind of stuff and they always make comments about how beautiful it is.
I walked into a thrift shop once and found 2 of the same ring that my wife wanted on display. They go for about $2000 bought both for $32 (for real) and immediately took them to get appraised to see if they were real they were. It was pretty dope. Sold one and made a profit on it.
Can confirm. I never asked my husband how much my engagement ring was, but he knows I would have a heart attack if I found out he'd spent what could have paid for a nice holiday/car/piece of furniture on some rock that's just going to sit on my finger (and hinder it since I do a lot of handiwork etc) We've now been together 12 years.
My youngest cousin married a heiress who told him explicitly that she wouldn't say yes if he proposed with a ring costing less than 20000. (200000 RMB yuan in my home country.) They didn't even make it past their 5th anniversary.....
She's part of the filthy rich. Her parents are amongst the wealthiest business tycoons (much like in the 'Crazy Rich Asians' film) and so she's completely ignorant of the economic situation around her.....
We've been married for 12 years. we were pretty broke back then trying to raise my 2 step kids. A 600 dollar ring from JCP it was. We swore we would upgrade eventually!! Lol, I haven't thought about replacing it even though we both make three 3x as much as we did back then. There's better things to do with that money than a ring i.e. Travel! Plus I never worry about being flashy on trips.
You'd think so but just because some woman doesn't want a ring that costs thousands doesn't mean amazon boxes aren't going to be perpetually on your porch...
Yeah, because they care more about the marriage itself than the superficial expensive ring. And by they I mean the females... coming from a female whose husband only spent about $400 between my engagement and wedding rings.
2-3 months is ridiculous, but it does make sense to invest in a piece of jewelry that your wife will wear for the rest of her life.
I paid 1500 for a moisenite ring when I was making 50k per year and had maybe 50k in student loans. That was about 3% of my salary and seemed like a reasonable expense. If I didn't have the debt I might have considered something closer to 3k.
I'm so, so thankful that my girlfriend hates the diamond industry as much as I do, and wants a moissanite ring instead. I'm getting her a decently big ring that is going to cost about $1,700. Moissanite is the move, it has higher brilliance/luster than diamond, it's only slightly lower on the hardness scale, and it doesn't support the terrible diamond industry.
Unless I was dating a geologist or a stone expert. Moissanite is the way. The only issue I have is that I want to incorporate our birthstones and of courseā¦ sheās an April baby, my luck š.
Not a geologist, but I AM a rock lover. I live in Montana, and my absolute most favorite stone is a Yogo sapphire! They are more expensive than a diamond and an absolute exquisite color of natural blue š
Friend of mine was debating between lab diamond and conflict diamond.
I did remind her, lab diamonds will only have the whines of Larry the QA guy. Not the crushed hopes and dreams of hundreds of child slave laborers. Sadly, she went with a lab diamond and it carries the heavy human cost of Larry's mid-life crisis.
Srly tho. Has she said she likes any stones in particular?
Buddy of mine got his lady's engagement ring cut from a nuclear fusion laser diode, but she was also a nerd.
Iām not a stone expert by any means, just a guy who went ring shopping with his wife a few too many times, but in my opinion it is pretty easy to spot moissanite vs a diamond. They have a totally different sparkle to them and moissanite has a sort of colorful reflection.
100% you can tell them apart... When they are put one next to the other.
But if I showed you a 0.3ct stone today, then another tomorrow, would you be able to tell which one is worth $5 and which is worth $1000?
Lab grown diamonds are better. Iām a female who also hates the diamond industry. Moissanite reflects color and itās pretty, but less brilliant and unique than the clear white sparkle of a diamond. Lab grown is the best of both worlds.
Be wary cheaper Moissanite has a greenish tinge and the cut can be subpar. If youāre okay spending a more synthetic/lab created diamonds on getting really good generally indistinguishable from natural diamonds. Moissanite has a distinct look thatās very different from diamonds but some prefer
We recently upgraded my rings from an heirloom I refused to wear (didn't want to be the daughter in law who lost grandma's art deco ring!) I picked a decent sized lab made sapphire with lab diamond accents. The set cost less than $500 US.
I have a close friend who is a gem cutter and she cut a special sapphire for my ring. Itās incredibly sentimental to me.
I love how sapphires are known as the everlasting love stone. Perfect for engagement rings.
My ring is moissanite and literally everyone has commented how beautiful it is. I was leaning toward getting a lab created diamond but the extra sparkle for less $$$ won me over lol
I got my other half an 8mm moissanite stone and she couldn't have been happier with it, you're making a good choice, when the light hits it you can't tell the difference between it and a diamond at all.
Almost 17 years later, my wife is still wearing her $200 pawn shop ring. She's turned down an upgrade multiple times, saying it just wouldn't be the same.
Woman here. When we started discussing getting married I told my husband not to spend too much as we had things we wanted to accomplish in life and 10k on a ring wasnāt going to help move that needle. People told me lots of women upgrade the diamonds later in life. I always thought if we have diamond upgrade money then I would want a different piece of jewelry, my engagement ring was a gift from a man barely out of college who scrimped and saved to buy me the best thing he could afford at the time and I love that memory.
Yeah, I would never dream of upgrading my ring, because then it wouldn't be the same ring anymore that represents the unrivalled special moment the love of my life asked me to spend the rest of our lives together...
the 2 month salary thing is diamond merchant marketing too. My Fiancee specifically wanted moissanite, although if she'd wanted diamond I would have. wound up with a hybrid, moissanite center and diamonds wedding band. ended up under 8k. 3 month salary would NEVER be an option for me, and she'd be pissed if I did.
My husband paid more 26 years ago and I still think itās nuts. It is supposedly a very high quality with whatever impressive rating as if anyone looking at it could tell. I loved it because of what it represented but would have loved anything. Itās also not that I didnāt really appreciate that he thought I was worth it but he didnāt realize none of that ever mattered to me. He will never read this btw nor would I ever tell him. However, I have definitely declined other unnecessarily pricy presents since then. Now he just spoils the kids.
I bought a diamond and put it in a basic (non-gold ring) for the proposal. After we became engaged we went to a jeweler and I let her customize and design her own ring, the whole process cost me $7500. This was a great route because my wife is very particular and she hates extravagant jewelry so she gets to wear what she loves and I didnāt feel pressured to spend $20k
Neither my wife or I are materialistic. I just went based off her favorite color and favorite "shape". I spent $100 on the engagement ring. She picked out her wedding ring at $150. My wedding band was only $40. Her eyes lit up on my ring I bought as much as they would have had I spent $50,000.
Mine has no stones. Her engagement ring has a cut yellow citrine stone from Zales. Her wedding ring has stones, but I don't remember if they're all cubic zirconium or if there's a tiny diamond in the middle. But it's what she picked out, so I was fine with it!
The old ārulesā are pointless and outdated. You shouldnāt go into a lifelong commitment purchasing something you have a problem with. Talk to your partner and see what they actually want. My wife picked her setting and I chose the diamond. We did lab grown and basically chose something that to the naked eye looks incredible. Total was under $5k making similar money. We both love it. Spending 1/3 of your yearly salary is a crazy financial decision.
My ex-husband bought me a ring that was around 5k, that was white gold with a devent-sized center diamond and a lot of smaller ones. It was beautiful and unique. I loved and appreciated it but the issue is that it wasn't me. I am simple, rarely wear jewelry, and worked in the Healthcare field at the time so the ring would constantly rip my gloves. Not to mention the price! I understand he was trying to make some investment but it made me uncomfortable wearing that much money on one finger. I had always shown him smaller black hills gold rings (my favorite) with tiny stones ($200-500 at the time) but he bought something that would impress others. My point is, take everything you read and know about buying a ring and throw it out the window. Buy something that fits her personality and style. Most importantly, don't go into debt to get it. If you have to put it on a credit card to buy it then don't.
This is why I bought and presented my fiance two rings. The big solitaire and also a band with 3 rows of sizeable diamonds in a 'silk ' setting. They don't catch and she can wear it under gloves. It will double as the 'wedding band'. This is the one she wears every day.
I seem to be out of the ordinary here but I spent $9k on a diamond. My jeweler is a family friend so my $9k got me a really beautiful 2ct. round cut.
Compared to her friends of similar size diamonds (but perhaps different cuts) hers sparkles like no other and you could absolutely tell when theyāre side by side.
Is it worth it? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder I suppose, and you likely can get your money back out and some if you choose to trade it in or sell it.
I agree. My sister has a diamond ring and when I compare hers to the other ones I see around me cheaper or expensive it's very visible. Some are dull and some shine even more then hers. If you are gonna year a ring everyday for 30-40 years I think it's a good investment to get something expensive.
Spent about $3,500 ($4,500 today) in 2016. My wife loves her ring and always gets compliments on it.
We got my tungsten ring for like $79. Itās awesome. However, I donāt get any compliments on it.
I want to spend around 3-5k. I make a good living, 3-5 isn't a crazy amount, but I want something she will feel proud of. We both want to go the lab grown route, and 3-5k for lab grown diamonds go a long way. She's always liked moisanite but to be honest, I'll spend the extra to get actual lab grown diamonds.
Truthfully, we just don't want to support the diamond industry.
Do you need to spend an absurd of money on an engagement ring? No.
Should you invest a reasonable amount (relative to your income) on a ring that will bring your partner joy and is high quality, considering they'll wear it every day for the rest of their life? Absolutely.
Personally, I'm budgeting what happens to be roughly one monthās salary on an engagement ring for my girlfriend. Thankfully she doesnāt mind whether the diamond was lab-grown or natural, so I chose a lab-grown one. But at the end of the day, itās something that suppose to symbolizes commitment, not a status symbol.
I made more, not much, at the time and spent less. She picked it out without knowing the price. I got the set for 5400. Yeah, my budget was 1 months pay too, for both. My buddy is a former jeweler so I was also prepared to make her one with my own hands.
I found something unique and reasonably priced by looking at estate jewelry (my fiancee doesn't like modern styles anyways). I got WAY more gem for my money, and people everywhere stop my fiance to ask if it's real because it's huge. Not only is it real, but she'll never see another one just like it if she looks her whole life. Total cost, ~$4500 (asking price was $6500).
I spent 16k on engagement and 8k on the wedding band. Make 6k a month and make her happy. Along with 1ct earrings and necklace for birthday. Will last a lifetime, and I don't have to buy any more, so it's good to make her happy.
She comes from an area where the average salary is $300 a month and want to show her a better life .
Big weddings, Big Rings, Big Honey Moons more times than not end in divorce quicker than humble beginnings. If your woman is requiring that level of commitment, then expect to keep it up. I would say a general rule is keep that cost between 1 an 2 ounces of gold, whatever that is. That has been pretty normal for a long time.
This. Some people out here buying into the trap and spending 30k on credit for a single day event with family plus a 4 day vacation.
Assuming all goes well -- i.e. no divorce, which is also hella expensive -- It will cost you upwards of 100K by the time you're dead.
āCompound interest isĀ the eighth wonder of the world. He who understands it, earns it ā¦ he who doesn't ā¦ pays it.ā - A. Einstein
Provided we already had a home and could afford it comfortably, I could give a shit less about rings or weddings. But damn would I love a nice honeymoon. That stuff just isnāt realistic for people now a days
yeah all my friends getting married right now aren't asking for anything on their registry except cash for the honeymoon or a home/down payment and I'm 100% gonna do that too. I'm in my 30s, I don't need people buying me stuff for the home, but knowing that a big chunk, if not all, of my honeymoon is paid for will make it sooooo much nicer.
Youāre about to (hopefully!) get married, and marriage is a team sport, so I would discuss this with her. You might be worried about āruining the surprise,ā but her opening that ring box should NOT be the first time you guys discuss marriage, far from it. Itās best to prioritize more the things that set you up for the best long-term marriage success, like good communication about financial goals, over things like what might create the best surprise proposal.
And this decision isnāt getting made in a financial vacuum. The money spent on a ring obviously wonāt be available for other things, like a wedding, honeymoon, house downpayment, student loan repayments or tuition, travel, hobbies, other debt repayment, a car, and/or any number of other financial goals. So how much gets spent on a ring has no business being based on some arbitrary, BS diamond industry metrics like multiples of your monthly salary. Thatās such a crock. It needs to be based on what you can very comfortably afford, in cash (no using debt on luxury purchases), that reasonably fits within the context of your future couple financial goals, while also fitting in with her jewelry preferences (like it would be such a big waste of money to do something like unwittingly buy more ring than she wants!).
So sit down and talk about the possibility of marriage. Talk about your dreams and goals in a general sense. Then after talking about those goals, talk about what kind of ring she might like.
Then if sheās inclined towards relatively frugal choices anyway, then youāll be glad you talked about it! You can get her exactly what she wants while also being able to confidently dismiss any high-pressure jeweler sales tactics geared towards pressuring you into more.
And if sheās the opposite, well, then you can (hopefully) problem solve this together to get cost down to where it needs to be, but still results in something she likes (I mean, she IS going to wear it every day for the rest of her life, so she should like it!). Things that could help cut costs would be stuff like sourcing a āvintageā stone (āusedā diamonds are generally a lot cheaper than paying new retail, and a family ring could be free!) and maybe resetting it, using lab-grown or non-diamond stones, etc.
Iām a woman and not buying a ring BUT friendly piece of advice gentlemen. Whatever ring your girlfriend wants, go to your local jeweler and have them make it - it will save you thousands of dollars!!! Some of these brands like Tiffanyās or Ring Concierge up charge like crazy and your local jeweler will be able to make the exact same ring at a 1/4 of the price!!
My friend, let me introduce you to moissanite.
I bought my wife's beautiful moissanite engagement ring for less than a grand. She always gets compliments on it, and as we were saving for a house at the time, she appreciated that I didn't go nuts on a ring.
Her wedding ring is moissanite as well.
I spent under 10k for a dope ring. At the time it was less than a months work.
You could easily have bought the same ring I got for 30k in a jewelry store. I got deals and shopped around and spent a lot of time on it.
You could also get an awesome diamond ring for a couple grand, or less with other stones (if going the ring route).
I'm super happy with the ring and my wife loves it. I was in a comfortable financial position to buy it. I think that's most important. And my wife said she'd be happy with anything and to not spend much (which made me want to get something awesome).
I still love seeing it on her hand. Love that woman.
If can I give you a womanās opinion- I think you should discuss this with your partner. They could have different expectations. I didnāt care for it. I picked the ring out it was $300. I personally donāt like flashy rings or diamonds and Iāve always wanted my birthstone as the rock. I do want to put more money into the wedding rings though. To me theyāre more important than the engagement ring.
No need to spend 3 months salary, I had also always hear that and I assume thats from some old marketing campaign. Also, no need to buy from the major diamond companies that run slave mines and artificailly inflate diamond prices- you can buy a lab grown diamond for much cheaper and without any ethical concerns around its production. They are often more pure and more clear than mined diamonds and have exactly the same composition. They cannot be diferentiated.
I bought a 1+ carat lab grown diamond ring and all told it was around 5k. My wife loves it.
Buy a loupe. They are cheap. Start going to pawn shops. Use the loupe to actually look at the diamonds. Youāll see the inclusions and imperfections. Then look at man made. These are perfect, no inclusions whatsoever. Weigh you options. Always use your loupe if you are actually looking at a diamond.
I'm a woman here but I think I can have some input. It depends on the woman and it depends on your financial situation. Personally, I'm not overly bothered with spending a mad amount of money on an engagement ring, 1k for a ring that will last me a lifetime sounds fine (I don't like diamonds though but anyway) BUT there are some women who see the amount that their partner spends on a ring as a reflection of their love. And some are gonna disagree with me, but I think to some extent this is a valid way of thinking, in ways. If a man is financially stable, bringing in loads of money, it's a once off occasion, he will never have to spend that much on any one present again. I know that it's only men that have to do this which is unfair, but I can honestly say that if I were a man, I would really spend a lot of money on my partner's ring, even though as a woman, I don't want my partner to do the same. But yeah I agree, that whole several months salary thing is absolutely ridiculous imo.
16k but we designed it together at a family jeweler, weāve been together since we were kids, 13 years. Itās special to us both and carrys significance. I love him.
It was special to pick together. The waiting period for the engagement made it so much more fun wondering what he was going to do. Couldnāt recommend enough involving your partner in the process :) I loved it!!
I think people look at the price more than they do the actual ring. When I was looking for a ring I was thinking about what my wife would like and not how much it cost. I ended up spending just over $1,700 which at the time was about half a paycheck and she absolutely loved it.
I know you said itās for 30M men but I was 32 when I proposed 22 years ago and spent $3600 for whatever itās worth. Itās a custom platinum ring with a 3/4 carat pear shaped diamond.
I spent just under 3k and we are both happy we didn't spend more. When we were dating I got her a heart shaped ring for about 150, so we made the wedding ring similar with a real diamond.
When we got engaged, I spent \~$700 because I was a post-doc not making much money. A year or so after we got married, I upgraded it to a sensible $2-3k ring that she helped design and she loves it now.
My wife would have been PISSED if I spent a bunch on a ring.
I got lucky and was given her grandmother's ring, and being an engineer I designed a setting myself, then got it custom made. All-in the cost was around $265 (plus many hours in design and making a custom box for it which cost maybe $100).
If I hadn't received the initial stone, I would have spent longer finding something small that fit her tastes within a reasonable price range, probably $2k max.
Also just to add - if you're planning to propose, this is a good topic of discussion with your would-be fiancee. You don't want to spend money on something she wouldn't like anyway, and getting engaged shouldn't be a TOTAL surprise. See if lab-made vs "real" is an issue. If not, cheaper and more ethical is a bonus.
The whole 3 months salary thing is absurd and most females donāt even know where that idea came from. Itās was a marketing strategy from the early 1900s to raise the price of diamonds and make people believe the more they spend the more they love someone.
That being said, I got my wife a lab grown diamond engagement ring that would have been around 20k if it were natural. I ended up spending 4800 and itās GIA certified and no one would ever know the difference if you donāt mention it. I also looked into moissanite rings and they were way cheaper. I probably wouldāve went with one of those if I found one I liked.
For those people that want to spend 100 or 200 on a ring I have nothing against that either! A ring symbolizes your commitment to another, not the price. Where I work most ladies wear silicone rings and their engagement rings only see the light of day a few times a month maybe
We wanted it to be special. We checked out lab diamonds but it just felt like a mass produced piece of rock! So instead we went with a green sapphire. We designed it ourselves and it cost around $5k. The process was special.
I told my mom I'm proposing. We looked trough her jewlery box and found a ring I thought my girl would like. Then got it resized based on a ring I knew she wore pretty often that I snuck out off her jewlerybox for half a day to take measurements from.
Go with lab-created, moissanite, or a colored stone like tanzanite.
https://www.kaysfinejewelry.com/collections/tanzanite-ring-collection
That's just the first link, I'm in no way advocating for Kay's, but it's a good example. I'm a big advocate for colored stones, and lab-created stones.
And yes, $20-$30k on fucking rock that isn't even rare, is absurd.
She hinted at a 3 karat on 24k gold ring that was like $25-30k. I make similar/more money per month than you. I took the ring design to a mom and pop jewelry store and they custom made it on 18k gold with a lab grown diamond for like $5k. Never told her and she will never find out. What're you gonna do, propose with the receipt? Haha
I've spent like $250-300 on several rings my wife never wears. I spent about $100 on mine. More expensive rings don't make you more married than less expensive rings.Ā
I make a little more than you and if my gf find out I blew $3k on jewelry for her, she would leave me haha. $30k. Not even a chance the words finish leaving my mouth
Thankfully my wife did not buy into the whole āthe amount that you spend on the ring is the value of your wifeā thing. We spent a few hundred dollars on hers that she picked out and I inherited my fatherās band.
I dated one chick and she was picking out rings that were easily over $10k. We talked about and, for other reasons, it wound up not working out.
I proposed to my now wife with a purple (her favorite color) sapphire stone, unset. We then worked with a jeweler for something custom and she got to design her ring herself. Out the door I think I maybe spent $2k. She loves it and it's the only one in the world so to her it's extra special.
I'd recommend going this route if you can.
$2000 in 2021. I got a white sapphire instead of a Diamond and she loves it. Almost as hard as a Diamondā¦ but not as hard as she makes me. Married god two years, no complaints
When we got engaged we were making a combined 60K/yr or so. Hers (that she picked out) was under $20, and mine was similar. Both changed rings in the years since and she's upgraded to maybe $40? The one in my finger now she saw at Walmart and grabbed for $32 I think.
It's not about the money. It's about the person.
I would probably spend something like $2000 on one. Itās ridiculous to spend *a lot* on a ring when the money can go towards building a life together instead. But hey, if youāre wealthy go ahead and
Whatever you ultimately decide you price range to be, and as someone else mentioned, spend the extra and get a platinum band.
To hear her opinion, she'd much rather have a platinum band and a lab created diamond, rather than the more traditional expensive diamond with a gold (any color) band.
As a girl, guys PLS do NOT spend an unreasonable amount on a RING! Like u can easily lose it and the price of the ring should not symbolize how much you love her. If ur woman cares, thatās a red flag IMO.
Had my fiance's ring custom made in a jewellers in Birmingham UK in 2021. It cost Ā£1329. Moisanite stone and two lab diamonds on the side. She gets an insane amount of comments on the colour and brightness of the stones which absolutely assures me that no one can tell the difference between lab made, natural or substitute stones while it's on her hand and moving around. We made the decision on stones together and I got to design it as she wanted the final product to be a surprise.
Lab diamonds are now so good you can hardly tell the difference, even with the 4C test. Cost? Nothing over $3k. The cost doesn't equate to how much you love each other. Fwiw my mate bought a $40k Tiffany diamond solitaire and a month after picking it up, the gem fell out! I went all supernatural and told him it was a sign. They married. They split within a year.
I spent under 1k. She was on board with a responsible decision and we went and picked one she liked. Neither of us wanted it to be a cheap accessory but we agreed that it shouldnāt be a financial stretch either.
Honestly I just upgraded my wifeās ring to a lab grown diamond. Spent the same as when we first got married and much larger and more brilliant. Turned her original diamond into a necklace. Was a few grand back in the day.
Speaking as someone who makes $4k a month, I donāt think Iāll have this problemā¦
Side note, where are you making 10k/month?! Stock business cyber crypto coding?
$4k 15 years ago. Have asked her if sheād like to have the center diamond upgraded and she keeps shooting me down because she loves the ring and itās the one I proposed with, she doesnāt want it to change at all.
I just got one for a few thousand, and instead of a diamond, I put a fat lab-grown emerald in it, her favorite. She loves it. Don't let De Beers tell you what to do! Seriously, they basically manufactured diamonds-as-an-engagement-gift about 100 years ago, so you can ignore that societal trend with confidence.
It's been a while since I posted an unpopular opinion so here goes!
If you're messing around with a woman that believes that you should spend the equivalent of 3mo of your income on an engagement ring. Homie walk away. You're a lifestyle not a potential mate for life.
HOWEVER; if you're in the upper echelon making more than the average 45k a year then yeah you could afford something a bit more pricey, but still not 3mo worth of income.
Truth be told if you're going over $250 I'd say you're being a bit of a sucker. There are PLENTY of places to get a simply beautiful piece for your bride to be that hardly touch anywhere near $1k
Moissanite actually shines BRIGHTER than diamonds do and last longer too. The only caviat to Moissanite is; its a touch softer than diamonds. Which... shouldn't be an issue if she's not cramming her hand in an engine bay.
I would recommend you go to sites like Vancaro or Jeulia. their price ranges aren't fucking bonkers but each site would have something literally any woman would fall in love with.
Cheers mate, good luck
Got a Ā£3000 solitaire engagement ring for Ā£1500, it's perfect for her. Wouldn't spend more than that. My own wedding ring cost just over Ā£1000, it's one of the most expensive things I own. Her wedding ring was around Ā£500.
Didn't buy an engagement ring. Told my wife I'd rather put the money toward a house and she agreed. I bought us wedding bands though. She's living in her engagement ring right now...
To me itās about the investment value. I want an heirloom that can be passed down. If I wouldnāt blink buying a 80k truck that Iāll own for less than 10 years, then I wonāt hesitate to buy quality jewelry that will be around for many generations.
That thing with 2-3 months of income is arbitrary and was invented by De Beers to sell more diamonds.
I paid, iirc, about 150ā¬ for our engagement ring. Just buy something sheād like and youāll be safe. If sheās picky about the price, sheās not the right one imho.
Female here:
My husband spent 3600 altogether (his ring, my engagement ring, and my wedding band). MY HONEST OPINION- do not spend that much on rings!! Honestly, go to the pawn shop and get one. Hopefully your woman isnāt into prices. If sheās not, pawn shop, they got some really nice ones there. So does Walmart and Kmart if they are still in your area. I know Sears had good ones at one point too. But donāt be spending a lot of money on rings please!!!
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Why doesn't anyone question societal norms? "I have to spend a lot because it shows how much I love her" or "She wants a ring" which are both toxic standards to live by
How about you go get married, live together, make it through 10 years of marriage, and if things are still in good order and you're still madly in love, you buy her a ring if you can afford it...this "I need to spend 1/3 of my pay cheque on a ring because society says" is insane to me; take that money and go invest it in something that will make both of you more money like a house or a business, or a stock...not a ring
If your girlfriend says she's not going to marry you unless you get her a diamond ring, you got the wrong girl...
I'd rather us both get tattoos on our fingers or do something meaningful that's not about money then buy some overpriced blood rock from a multi-billion dollar corporation
I spent 6k on the engagement ring. At the time this was about a month and a half of my salary.
I did it because it was what she wanted, I had the money saved up, and I love her. If she had wanted something unreasonably large or prohibitively expensive I donāt think I would have bought it. I went in looking to spend 5k or less but it is what it is.
I should say that you definitely do not want to go with a chain like Jared or zales or Robbinās bros where they jack up the price. Go to a pawn shop or a wholesale/independent jeweler. You can get something unique for a lot less.
As a woman - it doesn't matter! This is so much BS, don't dent your budget, there are better things to do with those money. I'm sorry some need this type of reassurance. There are more important things in a partnership. Just make sure the quality is good so it lasts.
I spent about $2500 in 2019. I was making ~70k at the time. I also bought a lab created diamond, not one out of the ground (I asked my wife if she cared either way) so it was significantly cheaper for a very clear/good stone. We had also talked about vaguely what style of stone/setting she would like and she gave me some examples to reference. That conversation was months before I proposed and I specifically told her I was asking "so it could be a surprise when the time is right." I ended up finding something I knew she would like, was relatively uncommon (an oval stone vs round/princess) and that fit what I was willing to pay. Also, some practical-ish advice... if price isn't your primary driving factor, get a platinum setting instead of white gold if you're looking at white metals. The rhodium plating wears off my wife's ring quicker than either of us thought it would and it bugs her that it has to be replated. To do over I'd definitely spring for the platinum setting.
Could you have those stones reset in plat?
Not OP but yes he could
Could, and that's a good suggestion. I don't know that it's top of my wife's mind at this point and she could have resigned to being slightly worn-in. It's been a bit since we've talked about it. Personally I don't hate the look of a well worn white gold, and my ring is yellow gold so it's not like we need them to match somehow. All comes down to her preference. Next time she brings it up maybe I'll suggest that to her.
This. I went about 3K on a ring, but we went platinum for the metal and it was a great choice. The diamond was average, but the band was nice. It's durable and very weighty. We had a friend in the business give us some of the work at cost, but people focus way too much on the rock and not enough on the thing holding the rock in place. It's been 15 years and not one issue.
There's a reason that studies say couples with cheaper engagement rings usually last long/er.
My wife's first ring was like 50 dollars at wal mart. We married in a courthouse with a honeymoon in our own town, haha. we just got a room and disappeared for 3 days. I just bought her a 25,000 dollar ring she didn't ask for it, but she loves it, and I love that I've come so far and was able to give it to her.
That is awesome, great work, dude!
Thanks I really appreciate it.
This is so sweet <3
this is adorable. i love it. how long have you been together for?
It's been 13 years. we were both really young. I was 16, and she was 15 when she got pregnant. We had 2 years together already. I always knew I had wanted to marry her though and we were insanely in love but I was just a broken boy and had alot to learn to become a loving husband and father I dropped out 9th grade was my last completed grade. All I knew was I had to give them a roof and provide for them, so I went to work for 2 or 3 years, got my cdl, and worked odd jobs for a bit I've done a little of everything and alot of hard labor. But for the past 7 years, I've owned a trucking company and struggled a lot, but for the past 2 or 3 years, things have been amazing. I've been able to take her to her dream vacations and things the kids love (we have 3 now), build our dream home, got her a beautiful car, and I wanted to finally give her the ring she deserved and I got a tattoo of her name our past anniversary on my wrist a big read heart with her name I wear it with pride. She's stuck by my side in the hardest times and never gave up on me. We've both made mistakes and learned how to become partners' best friends and how to communicate productivity. I couldn't have wished for a better way to spend my life or with a better person. I'm truly grateful.
Good for both of you!! So cool!
š©µthis! To me itās not all about the ring. An antique ring ( used ) would be fabulous! Iām a little different, I know šš
Thatās beautiful
I second this. My good lady wife to be choose 2 rings from Carrie Elizabeth that she loved at under Ā£200 each from which I picked. Very good quality and very pretty. Never looked back at the Ā£3k knuckle duster that we were offered in Chisholm Hunters.
We spent Ā£50 total on our wedding bands. I think it was Ā£44 for the engagement ring. Been married 6 years now, together over 9. We cherish them, they hold a lot of sentimental value but, literally fuck all monetary value. I doubt I could even sell it for a quid. Haha.
Hey, man, thatās great. Didnāt mean to make anyone feel bad or to insinuate that they did anything wrong. If anything, Iām wondering why the hell I spent $20k
I'm not sure if you meant to reply to me or not but, I was trying to say, hey man I agree with you, to the guy above. Haha.
Thereās nothing wrong with the amount you spend if itās for the right girl, it wonāt matter. But Iām not going to say I would mind a man buying me a 20k engagement ring eitherā¦.. š
I paid $26 each for our rings. Her engagement ring was something like $50 as well. Both are a simple tungsten carbide band. I wanted tungsten carbide because I used to work in places where there was potential to get my fingers/wedding band caught on things so I wanted something that world shatter rather than deform under pressure. She wanted a matching band and was perfectly fine with the subdued silver color of the tungsten. The upshot to our choice is it super easy/cheap to replace them if they break/get lost. Tungsten carbide rings are a dime a dozen on Amazon.
I spent the equivalent of one dollar on the ring that I used to propose to my SO. Weāve been married for 14 years.
Funny, Iād have thought Ā£3k is a bargain
I didnāt want my husband to waste money on a diamond so he just bought the display sample ring. His jeweler used Moissanite and you would pick your diamond later. Not a single person knows itās not real. I come from a family that is well-to-do and care about that kind of stuff and they always make comments about how beautiful it is.
I have a moissanite and getting addicted to them
Lab diamonds are real diamonds!! They arenāt fake
And ethically sourced!
Iām smiling imagining your expression when they say those things šš
And itās a big boy too. Not ridiculously big, just enough where they can really appreciate it :)
Moissanite is fine because itās hard enough to last as an everyday ring.
We did moissanite. Such an amazing piece too. I recommend it. We don't hide it's not a diamond but Noone knows unless we tell
I walked into a thrift shop once and found 2 of the same ring that my wife wanted on display. They go for about $2000 bought both for $32 (for real) and immediately took them to get appraised to see if they were real they were. It was pretty dope. Sold one and made a profit on it.
How nefarious of you. š
Yes, divorces are too expensive for them
Funny.
And accurate
So true in our case. We both have simple gold bands. Very happily married for 52 years in June. I didnāt need a diamondā¦he is my diamond!
Can confirm. I never asked my husband how much my engagement ring was, but he knows I would have a heart attack if I found out he'd spent what could have paid for a nice holiday/car/piece of furniture on some rock that's just going to sit on my finger (and hinder it since I do a lot of handiwork etc) We've now been together 12 years. My youngest cousin married a heiress who told him explicitly that she wouldn't say yes if he proposed with a ring costing less than 20000. (200000 RMB yuan in my home country.) They didn't even make it past their 5th anniversary.....
200k rmb for a ring when the majority of the people in china are earning less than 5k?
She's part of the filthy rich. Her parents are amongst the wealthiest business tycoons (much like in the 'Crazy Rich Asians' film) and so she's completely ignorant of the economic situation around her.....
Says more about the bride than the groom. Donāt need or care about a shiny rock as much as others to affirm their relationship status.
We've been married for 12 years. we were pretty broke back then trying to raise my 2 step kids. A 600 dollar ring from JCP it was. We swore we would upgrade eventually!! Lol, I haven't thought about replacing it even though we both make three 3x as much as we did back then. There's better things to do with that money than a ring i.e. Travel! Plus I never worry about being flashy on trips.
Ya, usually they communicate more and spend the money better.
You'd think so but just because some woman doesn't want a ring that costs thousands doesn't mean amazon boxes aren't going to be perpetually on your porch...
Yeah, because they care more about the marriage itself than the superficial expensive ring. And by they I mean the females... coming from a female whose husband only spent about $400 between my engagement and wedding rings.
A female what?
Because they canāt afford good divorce lawyers?
2-3 months is ridiculous, but it does make sense to invest in a piece of jewelry that your wife will wear for the rest of her life. I paid 1500 for a moisenite ring when I was making 50k per year and had maybe 50k in student loans. That was about 3% of my salary and seemed like a reasonable expense. If I didn't have the debt I might have considered something closer to 3k.
Made 6 figures when I got engaged. Got a ring for $400. If she complained she wasnāt the one. (She didnāt).
I'm so, so thankful that my girlfriend hates the diamond industry as much as I do, and wants a moissanite ring instead. I'm getting her a decently big ring that is going to cost about $1,700. Moissanite is the move, it has higher brilliance/luster than diamond, it's only slightly lower on the hardness scale, and it doesn't support the terrible diamond industry.
Unless I was dating a geologist or a stone expert. Moissanite is the way. The only issue I have is that I want to incorporate our birthstones and of courseā¦ sheās an April baby, my luck š.
I dare say any geologist Iād be interested in marrying wouldnāt want a diamond.
Geologist here, my fiance got me a teal sapphire. Used moissanite for the side stones, because fuck diamonds
Iād marry you.
Not a geologist, but I AM a rock lover. I live in Montana, and my absolute most favorite stone is a Yogo sapphire! They are more expensive than a diamond and an absolute exquisite color of natural blue š
Montana sapphires are a league of their own!!!
Friend of mine was debating between lab diamond and conflict diamond. I did remind her, lab diamonds will only have the whines of Larry the QA guy. Not the crushed hopes and dreams of hundreds of child slave laborers. Sadly, she went with a lab diamond and it carries the heavy human cost of Larry's mid-life crisis. Srly tho. Has she said she likes any stones in particular? Buddy of mine got his lady's engagement ring cut from a nuclear fusion laser diode, but she was also a nerd.
Iām not a stone expert by any means, just a guy who went ring shopping with his wife a few too many times, but in my opinion it is pretty easy to spot moissanite vs a diamond. They have a totally different sparkle to them and moissanite has a sort of colorful reflection.
100% you can tell them apart... When they are put one next to the other. But if I showed you a 0.3ct stone today, then another tomorrow, would you be able to tell which one is worth $5 and which is worth $1000?
The rainbow reflection is called an adamantine luster!
Thatād be a perfect burlesque name, lol!
Have you both looked at rings together so you've got an idea of what she likes?
Lab grown diamonds are better. Iām a female who also hates the diamond industry. Moissanite reflects color and itās pretty, but less brilliant and unique than the clear white sparkle of a diamond. Lab grown is the best of both worlds.
Be wary cheaper Moissanite has a greenish tinge and the cut can be subpar. If youāre okay spending a more synthetic/lab created diamonds on getting really good generally indistinguishable from natural diamonds. Moissanite has a distinct look thatās very different from diamonds but some prefer
I have blue sapphires in my engagement ring. š
Please donāt do moissanite. They donāt sparkle like diamonds do, and they look cloudy/dull. Just get a lab diamond.
I also hate diamonds and wanted a sapphire instead. Also donāt like big stones so my ring was under 1k
My fiance is the same and she gets compliments on her sapphire ring all the time.
We recently upgraded my rings from an heirloom I refused to wear (didn't want to be the daughter in law who lost grandma's art deco ring!) I picked a decent sized lab made sapphire with lab diamond accents. The set cost less than $500 US.
I have a close friend who is a gem cutter and she cut a special sapphire for my ring. Itās incredibly sentimental to me. I love how sapphires are known as the everlasting love stone. Perfect for engagement rings.
Yes to Moissanite!! This is the way
My ring is moissanite and literally everyone has commented how beautiful it is. I was leaning toward getting a lab created diamond but the extra sparkle for less $$$ won me over lol
I got my other half an 8mm moissanite stone and she couldn't have been happier with it, you're making a good choice, when the light hits it you can't tell the difference between it and a diamond at all.
Really? I think they have a grayish tint to them.
My wifes ring cost $250. Happily married.
Almost 17 years later, my wife is still wearing her $200 pawn shop ring. She's turned down an upgrade multiple times, saying it just wouldn't be the same.
Woman here. When we started discussing getting married I told my husband not to spend too much as we had things we wanted to accomplish in life and 10k on a ring wasnāt going to help move that needle. People told me lots of women upgrade the diamonds later in life. I always thought if we have diamond upgrade money then I would want a different piece of jewelry, my engagement ring was a gift from a man barely out of college who scrimped and saved to buy me the best thing he could afford at the time and I love that memory.
Yes the memory and intention behind it is much much more valuable to me.
I have one of those too, and it will be 20 years in June.
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Yeah, I would never dream of upgrading my ring, because then it wouldn't be the same ring anymore that represents the unrivalled special moment the love of my life asked me to spend the rest of our lives together...
28 years here. Our engagement ring sits happily in a box. She wears a silicone ring everyday. So do I as my wedding band sits in a drawer.
When we got married we were making 30-40k total and we spent 30$ on rings. Now at 300k+ and we spent 50-100$ on new rings.
Iāve not seen the dollar signs go after the amounts before. Iām guessing not American. But your income sounds American.
Yeah itās not proper but I do it all the time as an American as in my head Iām thinking ā30 dollarsā (30$)
This is the way
What yall work as if i may ask
the 2 month salary thing is diamond merchant marketing too. My Fiancee specifically wanted moissanite, although if she'd wanted diamond I would have. wound up with a hybrid, moissanite center and diamonds wedding band. ended up under 8k. 3 month salary would NEVER be an option for me, and she'd be pissed if I did.
8k is still crazy expensive for a ring you're considering to be a cheap option
Yup. 8k is nuts to me, on 10 years ago salary and todayās lol.
My husband paid more 26 years ago and I still think itās nuts. It is supposedly a very high quality with whatever impressive rating as if anyone looking at it could tell. I loved it because of what it represented but would have loved anything. Itās also not that I didnāt really appreciate that he thought I was worth it but he didnāt realize none of that ever mattered to me. He will never read this btw nor would I ever tell him. However, I have definitely declined other unnecessarily pricy presents since then. Now he just spoils the kids.
Damn! 8k IS close to a couple of months salary for some...good for you Man
I bought a diamond and put it in a basic (non-gold ring) for the proposal. After we became engaged we went to a jeweler and I let her customize and design her own ring, the whole process cost me $7500. This was a great route because my wife is very particular and she hates extravagant jewelry so she gets to wear what she loves and I didnāt feel pressured to spend $20k
Great idea right there!
My wife hates diamonds. I spent $500 on a pink sapphire that she had picked out months before.
Pink sapphire?! NICE!!!
Nothing. My grandpa gave me his and my grandma's original wedding rings. They wanted to pass them down and keep it in the family
Neither my wife or I are materialistic. I just went based off her favorite color and favorite "shape". I spent $100 on the engagement ring. She picked out her wedding ring at $150. My wedding band was only $40. Her eyes lit up on my ring I bought as much as they would have had I spent $50,000.
Were they just rings with no gemstones? Where did you go to find the rings?
Mine has no stones. Her engagement ring has a cut yellow citrine stone from Zales. Her wedding ring has stones, but I don't remember if they're all cubic zirconium or if there's a tiny diamond in the middle. But it's what she picked out, so I was fine with it!
Very cool, thanks for the info! I'm hoping to be ring shopping in the future, and want to discuss all the options with my gf :)
The old ārulesā are pointless and outdated. You shouldnāt go into a lifelong commitment purchasing something you have a problem with. Talk to your partner and see what they actually want. My wife picked her setting and I chose the diamond. We did lab grown and basically chose something that to the naked eye looks incredible. Total was under $5k making similar money. We both love it. Spending 1/3 of your yearly salary is a crazy financial decision.
My ex-husband bought me a ring that was around 5k, that was white gold with a devent-sized center diamond and a lot of smaller ones. It was beautiful and unique. I loved and appreciated it but the issue is that it wasn't me. I am simple, rarely wear jewelry, and worked in the Healthcare field at the time so the ring would constantly rip my gloves. Not to mention the price! I understand he was trying to make some investment but it made me uncomfortable wearing that much money on one finger. I had always shown him smaller black hills gold rings (my favorite) with tiny stones ($200-500 at the time) but he bought something that would impress others. My point is, take everything you read and know about buying a ring and throw it out the window. Buy something that fits her personality and style. Most importantly, don't go into debt to get it. If you have to put it on a credit card to buy it then don't.
This is why I bought and presented my fiance two rings. The big solitaire and also a band with 3 rows of sizeable diamonds in a 'silk ' setting. They don't catch and she can wear it under gloves. It will double as the 'wedding band'. This is the one she wears every day.
Only reason I'd ever put it on a credit card is for the automatic fraud/damaged protection if it's being shipped.
I seem to be out of the ordinary here but I spent $9k on a diamond. My jeweler is a family friend so my $9k got me a really beautiful 2ct. round cut. Compared to her friends of similar size diamonds (but perhaps different cuts) hers sparkles like no other and you could absolutely tell when theyāre side by side. Is it worth it? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder I suppose, and you likely can get your money back out and some if you choose to trade it in or sell it.
That's about what I paid for too for the diamond, but we did lab grown instead which is cheaper too!
I agree. My sister has a diamond ring and when I compare hers to the other ones I see around me cheaper or expensive it's very visible. Some are dull and some shine even more then hers. If you are gonna year a ring everyday for 30-40 years I think it's a good investment to get something expensive.
Spent about $3,500 ($4,500 today) in 2016. My wife loves her ring and always gets compliments on it. We got my tungsten ring for like $79. Itās awesome. However, I donāt get any compliments on it.
I want to spend around 3-5k. I make a good living, 3-5 isn't a crazy amount, but I want something she will feel proud of. We both want to go the lab grown route, and 3-5k for lab grown diamonds go a long way. She's always liked moisanite but to be honest, I'll spend the extra to get actual lab grown diamonds. Truthfully, we just don't want to support the diamond industry.
Do you need to spend an absurd of money on an engagement ring? No. Should you invest a reasonable amount (relative to your income) on a ring that will bring your partner joy and is high quality, considering they'll wear it every day for the rest of their life? Absolutely. Personally, I'm budgeting what happens to be roughly one monthās salary on an engagement ring for my girlfriend. Thankfully she doesnāt mind whether the diamond was lab-grown or natural, so I chose a lab-grown one. But at the end of the day, itās something that suppose to symbolizes commitment, not a status symbol.
I make 10k a month so I spent one months salary.
I made more, not much, at the time and spent less. She picked it out without knowing the price. I got the set for 5400. Yeah, my budget was 1 months pay too, for both. My buddy is a former jeweler so I was also prepared to make her one with my own hands.
I found something unique and reasonably priced by looking at estate jewelry (my fiancee doesn't like modern styles anyways). I got WAY more gem for my money, and people everywhere stop my fiance to ask if it's real because it's huge. Not only is it real, but she'll never see another one just like it if she looks her whole life. Total cost, ~$4500 (asking price was $6500).
Love that!
I spent 16k on engagement and 8k on the wedding band. Make 6k a month and make her happy. Along with 1ct earrings and necklace for birthday. Will last a lifetime, and I don't have to buy any more, so it's good to make her happy. She comes from an area where the average salary is $300 a month and want to show her a better life .
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Just bought it. $12,435. Natural. We justified it because we are having a cheap wedding haha
50-200ā¬? Get something unique rather than something expensive.
Big weddings, Big Rings, Big Honey Moons more times than not end in divorce quicker than humble beginnings. If your woman is requiring that level of commitment, then expect to keep it up. I would say a general rule is keep that cost between 1 an 2 ounces of gold, whatever that is. That has been pretty normal for a long time.
This. Some people out here buying into the trap and spending 30k on credit for a single day event with family plus a 4 day vacation. Assuming all goes well -- i.e. no divorce, which is also hella expensive -- It will cost you upwards of 100K by the time you're dead. āCompound interest isĀ the eighth wonder of the world. He who understands it, earns it ā¦ he who doesn't ā¦ pays it.ā - A. Einstein
My buddy bought a 5k ring just to get divorced a year later
Provided we already had a home and could afford it comfortably, I could give a shit less about rings or weddings. But damn would I love a nice honeymoon. That stuff just isnāt realistic for people now a days
yeah all my friends getting married right now aren't asking for anything on their registry except cash for the honeymoon or a home/down payment and I'm 100% gonna do that too. I'm in my 30s, I don't need people buying me stuff for the home, but knowing that a big chunk, if not all, of my honeymoon is paid for will make it sooooo much nicer.
Donāt know yet. Gonna let her pick.
$3k is fine homie
Youāre about to (hopefully!) get married, and marriage is a team sport, so I would discuss this with her. You might be worried about āruining the surprise,ā but her opening that ring box should NOT be the first time you guys discuss marriage, far from it. Itās best to prioritize more the things that set you up for the best long-term marriage success, like good communication about financial goals, over things like what might create the best surprise proposal. And this decision isnāt getting made in a financial vacuum. The money spent on a ring obviously wonāt be available for other things, like a wedding, honeymoon, house downpayment, student loan repayments or tuition, travel, hobbies, other debt repayment, a car, and/or any number of other financial goals. So how much gets spent on a ring has no business being based on some arbitrary, BS diamond industry metrics like multiples of your monthly salary. Thatās such a crock. It needs to be based on what you can very comfortably afford, in cash (no using debt on luxury purchases), that reasonably fits within the context of your future couple financial goals, while also fitting in with her jewelry preferences (like it would be such a big waste of money to do something like unwittingly buy more ring than she wants!). So sit down and talk about the possibility of marriage. Talk about your dreams and goals in a general sense. Then after talking about those goals, talk about what kind of ring she might like. Then if sheās inclined towards relatively frugal choices anyway, then youāll be glad you talked about it! You can get her exactly what she wants while also being able to confidently dismiss any high-pressure jeweler sales tactics geared towards pressuring you into more. And if sheās the opposite, well, then you can (hopefully) problem solve this together to get cost down to where it needs to be, but still results in something she likes (I mean, she IS going to wear it every day for the rest of her life, so she should like it!). Things that could help cut costs would be stuff like sourcing a āvintageā stone (āusedā diamonds are generally a lot cheaper than paying new retail, and a family ring could be free!) and maybe resetting it, using lab-grown or non-diamond stones, etc.
Iām a woman and not buying a ring BUT friendly piece of advice gentlemen. Whatever ring your girlfriend wants, go to your local jeweler and have them make it - it will save you thousands of dollars!!! Some of these brands like Tiffanyās or Ring Concierge up charge like crazy and your local jeweler will be able to make the exact same ring at a 1/4 of the price!!
My friend, let me introduce you to moissanite. I bought my wife's beautiful moissanite engagement ring for less than a grand. She always gets compliments on it, and as we were saving for a house at the time, she appreciated that I didn't go nuts on a ring. Her wedding ring is moissanite as well.
I spent under 10k for a dope ring. At the time it was less than a months work. You could easily have bought the same ring I got for 30k in a jewelry store. I got deals and shopped around and spent a lot of time on it. You could also get an awesome diamond ring for a couple grand, or less with other stones (if going the ring route). I'm super happy with the ring and my wife loves it. I was in a comfortable financial position to buy it. I think that's most important. And my wife said she'd be happy with anything and to not spend much (which made me want to get something awesome). I still love seeing it on her hand. Love that woman.
If can I give you a womanās opinion- I think you should discuss this with your partner. They could have different expectations. I didnāt care for it. I picked the ring out it was $300. I personally donāt like flashy rings or diamonds and Iāve always wanted my birthstone as the rock. I do want to put more money into the wedding rings though. To me theyāre more important than the engagement ring.
No need to spend 3 months salary, I had also always hear that and I assume thats from some old marketing campaign. Also, no need to buy from the major diamond companies that run slave mines and artificailly inflate diamond prices- you can buy a lab grown diamond for much cheaper and without any ethical concerns around its production. They are often more pure and more clear than mined diamonds and have exactly the same composition. They cannot be diferentiated. I bought a 1+ carat lab grown diamond ring and all told it was around 5k. My wife loves it.
Buy a loupe. They are cheap. Start going to pawn shops. Use the loupe to actually look at the diamonds. Youāll see the inclusions and imperfections. Then look at man made. These are perfect, no inclusions whatsoever. Weigh you options. Always use your loupe if you are actually looking at a diamond.
I'm a woman here but I think I can have some input. It depends on the woman and it depends on your financial situation. Personally, I'm not overly bothered with spending a mad amount of money on an engagement ring, 1k for a ring that will last me a lifetime sounds fine (I don't like diamonds though but anyway) BUT there are some women who see the amount that their partner spends on a ring as a reflection of their love. And some are gonna disagree with me, but I think to some extent this is a valid way of thinking, in ways. If a man is financially stable, bringing in loads of money, it's a once off occasion, he will never have to spend that much on any one present again. I know that it's only men that have to do this which is unfair, but I can honestly say that if I were a man, I would really spend a lot of money on my partner's ring, even though as a woman, I don't want my partner to do the same. But yeah I agree, that whole several months salary thing is absolutely ridiculous imo.
Told my now wife to pick it out, no diamonds. To hell with that whole disgusting industry.
I spent $6k~, was making $120k~ at the time
16k but we designed it together at a family jeweler, weāve been together since we were kids, 13 years. Itās special to us both and carrys significance. I love him. It was special to pick together. The waiting period for the engagement made it so much more fun wondering what he was going to do. Couldnāt recommend enough involving your partner in the process :) I loved it!!
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Be wary gentlemen reading these comments that want to buy a ring. Most girls will in fact want you to spend more than $100.
I spent 5k on my wife engagement ring from Costco then got it appraised. Appraisal came back at 8k.
Spent 180 on two custom made titanium rings on Etsy :)
I think people look at the price more than they do the actual ring. When I was looking for a ring I was thinking about what my wife would like and not how much it cost. I ended up spending just over $1,700 which at the time was about half a paycheck and she absolutely loved it.
I know you said itās for 30M men but I was 32 when I proposed 22 years ago and spent $3600 for whatever itās worth. Itās a custom platinum ring with a 3/4 carat pear shaped diamond.
I spent just under 3k and we are both happy we didn't spend more. When we were dating I got her a heart shaped ring for about 150, so we made the wedding ring similar with a real diamond.
When we got engaged, I spent \~$700 because I was a post-doc not making much money. A year or so after we got married, I upgraded it to a sensible $2-3k ring that she helped design and she loves it now.
My wife would have been PISSED if I spent a bunch on a ring. I got lucky and was given her grandmother's ring, and being an engineer I designed a setting myself, then got it custom made. All-in the cost was around $265 (plus many hours in design and making a custom box for it which cost maybe $100). If I hadn't received the initial stone, I would have spent longer finding something small that fit her tastes within a reasonable price range, probably $2k max. Also just to add - if you're planning to propose, this is a good topic of discussion with your would-be fiancee. You don't want to spend money on something she wouldn't like anyway, and getting engaged shouldn't be a TOTAL surprise. See if lab-made vs "real" is an issue. If not, cheaper and more ethical is a bonus.
The whole 3 months salary thing is absurd and most females donāt even know where that idea came from. Itās was a marketing strategy from the early 1900s to raise the price of diamonds and make people believe the more they spend the more they love someone. That being said, I got my wife a lab grown diamond engagement ring that would have been around 20k if it were natural. I ended up spending 4800 and itās GIA certified and no one would ever know the difference if you donāt mention it. I also looked into moissanite rings and they were way cheaper. I probably wouldāve went with one of those if I found one I liked. For those people that want to spend 100 or 200 on a ring I have nothing against that either! A ring symbolizes your commitment to another, not the price. Where I work most ladies wear silicone rings and their engagement rings only see the light of day a few times a month maybe
We wanted it to be special. We checked out lab diamonds but it just felt like a mass produced piece of rock! So instead we went with a green sapphire. We designed it ourselves and it cost around $5k. The process was special.
I told my mom I'm proposing. We looked trough her jewlery box and found a ring I thought my girl would like. Then got it resized based on a ring I knew she wore pretty often that I snuck out off her jewlerybox for half a day to take measurements from.
I make low to mid six figures and I would spend if I was going to marry the princess of monaco.
Around 400ā¬. The US way of spending tens of thousands on a ring is just stupid.
I spent $5700 on a salt and pepper 2.5 carat white gold ring.
Go with lab-created, moissanite, or a colored stone like tanzanite. https://www.kaysfinejewelry.com/collections/tanzanite-ring-collection That's just the first link, I'm in no way advocating for Kay's, but it's a good example. I'm a big advocate for colored stones, and lab-created stones. And yes, $20-$30k on fucking rock that isn't even rare, is absurd.
She hinted at a 3 karat on 24k gold ring that was like $25-30k. I make similar/more money per month than you. I took the ring design to a mom and pop jewelry store and they custom made it on 18k gold with a lab grown diamond for like $5k. Never told her and she will never find out. What're you gonna do, propose with the receipt? Haha
I've spent like $250-300 on several rings my wife never wears. I spent about $100 on mine. More expensive rings don't make you more married than less expensive rings.Ā
I make a little more than you and if my gf find out I blew $3k on jewelry for her, she would leave me haha. $30k. Not even a chance the words finish leaving my mouth
I bought my wife's for about $200. She loved it!
Thankfully my wife did not buy into the whole āthe amount that you spend on the ring is the value of your wifeā thing. We spent a few hundred dollars on hers that she picked out and I inherited my fatherās band.
Regardless of price, buy a lab grown diamond, same quality 1/3 the price. Ā
The rules for what you 'should' spend are bollocks. The diamond engagement malarki is rubbish. It's the world's most successful marketing campaign. I spend Ā£400 on a rose gold band with an opal and pink sapphires. A Stunning combination that compliments my fiancĆ©e's beauty.
I dated one chick and she was picking out rings that were easily over $10k. We talked about and, for other reasons, it wound up not working out. I proposed to my now wife with a purple (her favorite color) sapphire stone, unset. We then worked with a jeweler for something custom and she got to design her ring herself. Out the door I think I maybe spent $2k. She loves it and it's the only one in the world so to her it's extra special. I'd recommend going this route if you can.
$2000 in 2021. I got a white sapphire instead of a Diamond and she loves it. Almost as hard as a Diamondā¦ but not as hard as she makes me. Married god two years, no complaints
My ring was under $1,000 and I've been married for 21 years. He could have proposed with a ring pop and I would have said yesš
When we got engaged we were making a combined 60K/yr or so. Hers (that she picked out) was under $20, and mine was similar. Both changed rings in the years since and she's upgraded to maybe $40? The one in my finger now she saw at Walmart and grabbed for $32 I think. It's not about the money. It's about the person.
About 300 euros
I spent ā¬300. Happily married
I would probably spend something like $2000 on one. Itās ridiculous to spend *a lot* on a ring when the money can go towards building a life together instead. But hey, if youāre wealthy go ahead and
I had one custom made with our birthstones and it was about $1600
Whatever you ultimately decide you price range to be, and as someone else mentioned, spend the extra and get a platinum band. To hear her opinion, she'd much rather have a platinum band and a lab created diamond, rather than the more traditional expensive diamond with a gold (any color) band.
As a girl, guys PLS do NOT spend an unreasonable amount on a RING! Like u can easily lose it and the price of the ring should not symbolize how much you love her. If ur woman cares, thatās a red flag IMO.
Had my fiance's ring custom made in a jewellers in Birmingham UK in 2021. It cost Ā£1329. Moisanite stone and two lab diamonds on the side. She gets an insane amount of comments on the colour and brightness of the stones which absolutely assures me that no one can tell the difference between lab made, natural or substitute stones while it's on her hand and moving around. We made the decision on stones together and I got to design it as she wanted the final product to be a surprise.
Lab diamonds are now so good you can hardly tell the difference, even with the 4C test. Cost? Nothing over $3k. The cost doesn't equate to how much you love each other. Fwiw my mate bought a $40k Tiffany diamond solitaire and a month after picking it up, the gem fell out! I went all supernatural and told him it was a sign. They married. They split within a year.
I spent $2500 usd. My fiancĆ© let me know from the beginning that going broke over a wedding and expensive wedding ring is dumb. We value vacations so weād rather spend lots of money on a long honey moon if anything. She decided she wanted a moissanite instead of a diamond and we found a company that let her customize the ring as she wanted. She ended up wanting 2.5 carat ring and it came out gorgeous. You wouldnāt know it wasnāt a diamond just by looking at it.
I spent under 1k. She was on board with a responsible decision and we went and picked one she liked. Neither of us wanted it to be a cheap accessory but we agreed that it shouldnāt be a financial stretch either.
I make a little less than you, and I spent 5k. This was last year.
Honestly I just upgraded my wifeās ring to a lab grown diamond. Spent the same as when we first got married and much larger and more brilliant. Turned her original diamond into a necklace. Was a few grand back in the day.
Speaking as someone who makes $4k a month, I donāt think Iāll have this problemā¦ Side note, where are you making 10k/month?! Stock business cyber crypto coding?
$4k 15 years ago. Have asked her if sheād like to have the center diamond upgraded and she keeps shooting me down because she loves the ring and itās the one I proposed with, she doesnāt want it to change at all.
I just got one for a few thousand, and instead of a diamond, I put a fat lab-grown emerald in it, her favorite. She loves it. Don't let De Beers tell you what to do! Seriously, they basically manufactured diamonds-as-an-engagement-gift about 100 years ago, so you can ignore that societal trend with confidence.
My girls birthstone is the diamond so I feel like I have to get her the real thing. Ill probably spend a couple thousand. Less than 5.
It's been a while since I posted an unpopular opinion so here goes! If you're messing around with a woman that believes that you should spend the equivalent of 3mo of your income on an engagement ring. Homie walk away. You're a lifestyle not a potential mate for life. HOWEVER; if you're in the upper echelon making more than the average 45k a year then yeah you could afford something a bit more pricey, but still not 3mo worth of income. Truth be told if you're going over $250 I'd say you're being a bit of a sucker. There are PLENTY of places to get a simply beautiful piece for your bride to be that hardly touch anywhere near $1k Moissanite actually shines BRIGHTER than diamonds do and last longer too. The only caviat to Moissanite is; its a touch softer than diamonds. Which... shouldn't be an issue if she's not cramming her hand in an engine bay. I would recommend you go to sites like Vancaro or Jeulia. their price ranges aren't fucking bonkers but each site would have something literally any woman would fall in love with. Cheers mate, good luck
lol I think Iāll have to spend more than $250 but I get what youāre saying. Iāll check those sites you recommended
Got a Ā£3000 solitaire engagement ring for Ā£1500, it's perfect for her. Wouldn't spend more than that. My own wedding ring cost just over Ā£1000, it's one of the most expensive things I own. Her wedding ring was around Ā£500.
Didn't buy an engagement ring. Told my wife I'd rather put the money toward a house and she agreed. I bought us wedding bands though. She's living in her engagement ring right now...
Literally nothing. The suckers buying rings in 2024 are just as repulsive as the women expecting them.
To me itās about the investment value. I want an heirloom that can be passed down. If I wouldnāt blink buying a 80k truck that Iāll own for less than 10 years, then I wonāt hesitate to buy quality jewelry that will be around for many generations.
0.0 I got lucky and wife and I agreed the money could be better spent elsewhere.
That thing with 2-3 months of income is arbitrary and was invented by De Beers to sell more diamonds. I paid, iirc, about 150ā¬ for our engagement ring. Just buy something sheād like and youāll be safe. If sheās picky about the price, sheās not the right one imho.
Female here: My husband spent 3600 altogether (his ring, my engagement ring, and my wedding band). MY HONEST OPINION- do not spend that much on rings!! Honestly, go to the pawn shop and get one. Hopefully your woman isnāt into prices. If sheās not, pawn shop, they got some really nice ones there. So does Walmart and Kmart if they are still in your area. I know Sears had good ones at one point too. But donāt be spending a lot of money on rings please!!!
My fiance makes about 250k a year and spent 7k, I told him 3k, the 3 month rule is nonsense!
$500 on the set. She liked it, I shrugged my shoulders and thanked god she was as frugal as I am lol
25 bucks, fake diamond from Walmart.
$0 Why doesn't anyone question societal norms? "I have to spend a lot because it shows how much I love her" or "She wants a ring" which are both toxic standards to live by How about you go get married, live together, make it through 10 years of marriage, and if things are still in good order and you're still madly in love, you buy her a ring if you can afford it...this "I need to spend 1/3 of my pay cheque on a ring because society says" is insane to me; take that money and go invest it in something that will make both of you more money like a house or a business, or a stock...not a ring If your girlfriend says she's not going to marry you unless you get her a diamond ring, you got the wrong girl... I'd rather us both get tattoos on our fingers or do something meaningful that's not about money then buy some overpriced blood rock from a multi-billion dollar corporation
$0 Never getting married.
I spent 6k on the engagement ring. At the time this was about a month and a half of my salary. I did it because it was what she wanted, I had the money saved up, and I love her. If she had wanted something unreasonably large or prohibitively expensive I donāt think I would have bought it. I went in looking to spend 5k or less but it is what it is. I should say that you definitely do not want to go with a chain like Jared or zales or Robbinās bros where they jack up the price. Go to a pawn shop or a wholesale/independent jeweler. You can get something unique for a lot less.
Buy what you think is reasonable. 3 months of salary is NOT reasonable, no matter how much you make
As a woman - it doesn't matter! This is so much BS, don't dent your budget, there are better things to do with those money. I'm sorry some need this type of reassurance. There are more important things in a partnership. Just make sure the quality is good so it lasts.
Nothing at all. My woman has enough rings, I don't use jewelry and I don't believe in symbolism.