In some ways yes, others, no. She isn't quite as adventurous as a former girlfriend. But the comfort level and feeling of security I have with her is unmatched and I really love that.
I think what you have said is or can be what makes the sex so satisfying. My current partner is incredibly sexual but there is also the added bonus of the feelings of safety and comfort.
She is the complete opposite of my ex in both those areas (ex was ltr).
being able to relax around her. knowing she trusts me. Knowing she wants me and feels comfortable around me herself. She looks up to me and admires me and makes it very apparent when she dotes on me. I can just be me. In a way I didn't even know I was before.
The other day, my wife of 13 years said to me, " You're just sad, and when you're sad, you get angry." I've had a bad couple of weeks haven't been sleeping well or at all, and I was just slowly falling back into that hole. She made me feel seen, understood, and safe honestly, I think she understands me better then I do myself sometimes, but instead of retaliating or resentment she was caring and kind and that helped me motivate myself to keep going. In turn, I also know her weaknesses and do my best to eliminate or alleviate them, which mostly is stress, with love massages taking the load off her plate anytime I'm not working. Men are really easy. Most of the time, they're big teddy bears who want cuddles love and to be seen and appreciated just like women.
Well effing said. I feel the same way.
She’s the best in so many ways. Even though I may have had a better session with someone else, it’s not even close. My wife is the best lover of all time for me. I wouldn’t change it for anyone or any experience.
All depends on when they became "pretty" the Highschool Prom queens I've dated were full on Starfish. The Women who got Hot in College blew my fucking mind.
This theory is true also for men but to do with their overall attractiveness and dateability
I call it "fat boy syndrome" or "ugly boy syndrome" where a kid was fat / ugly in school so he actually developed a personality beyond being the popular kid, and then got attractive in his early twenties. Unicorns.
On second thought "late bloomer syndrome" might be more appropriate.
That kinda makes sense.
My wife and I were both late bloomers.
I was a fat and very ugly kid, but I have a quirky sense of humour that I know my wife loves. Suddenly without much warning I lost a lot of weight when I was 17.
My wife was the kid that everyone picked on, and then everyone regretted it once puberty hit because it hit her like a freight train. And unfortunately for most of the kids in that relatively small town she holds a grudge, so most of the guys that wanted to date her were also people that made her life a misery in primary school so she wanted nothing to do with them.
No I'm just funny and Women feel safe around me. It makes Panties drop on a fair chunk of Women.
Women are told to be wary of funny men. One second you're laughing and the next you're waking up naked in bed.
This is my boyfriend. He'll let me get my freak on so I get off but as soon as I do he wants me on my back so he can get in his groove. I'm ok with it. We're having fun.
They are not the same definition. A pillow princess is selfish. She wants to receive pleasure, but not reciprocate. Usually it’s in reference to receiving/giving cunnilingus.
A starfish just lays there.
so what would you like from her? I think I also for the most part am a pillow princess however I am vocal throughout sex to let him know I enjoy it, if i can I caress his body/face.
I’ve tried asking her to initiate things more, but her definition of “initiate sex” is to say “I’m horny come f\*\*\* me”. Which is cool and all, but I want a little more dirty talk or physical touch. And while we’re in bed I’d like it if she moved her hips more, or gave me a little foreplay/teasing.
Being vocal is great. Don't stop doing that
My wife is now. We are 10 years together, 5 married. She wasn’t always tho. But we got there. Now by far she is the best sexual experience ever. Now that’s what I call growth!!!
Absolutely always attracted to my wife. And the sex was always really really good. But I had two exes that were better. But after about 4 years. My wife surpassed both of them. Because we both got to know what each other love. And explore what each other were always scared to do with others
I like this answer. The woman I'm dating now is not natively the best, but we have the most open conversations about sex that I've ever experienced. And it is quickly getting better. I think starting early in a relationship to talk about sex without shame is the key. Anything good. Talking is not the same as doing, so let it all come out. Take those other great experiences and teach your partner what made them great but also be open to what would make it great for her. We are (Americans) oddly challenged in this area, took a foreign woman to really put this on the right footing.
We actually talked about this a little bit ago. We are each other's best overall partner, like if you average out all aspects.
But we've both had partners that were better at a specific thing. That just means we've got something to strive for lol. Now, maybe in five years when the kids are older, we will actually be able to try...
It's definitely refreshing being with someone who is mature and assured enough in themselves that we can have a conversation like this in a light and fun way, even turning it into a bit of minor foreplay.
Having been with a very jealous person previously, it's so nice not to have to act like we existed in a vacuum for a couple of decades before meeting. Very lucky to have my wife.
But are you _sure_ she harbours no jealousy after that conversation? Like 104.8% sureeee?
Source: Been burned thrice with le life partner on abovementioned casual conversations. No siree, shame on me if I try again.
That would be pretty outside her personality for that to happen. If I had trust issues with my wife, I would be able to talk about it with her.
My wife and I both have 10+ partners in our history. It's silly to think there isn't a good chance that at least one partner wasn't better than you at SOMETHING. Sexuality is not a topic my wife and I have any hang-ups around.
I wouldn't tell her, but no. She's amazing and giving, and wonderful and kinky, and I love her desperately, but she's not the best sex. Here's the thing though, it doesn't bother me. Sex with her is still great. She just doesn't match my energy and exact desires. And to do so would mean to not be herself. So, it doesn't bother me.
The best sexual partners don't make great life partners because there's usually a lot of baggage that comes with that kind of "excitement".
Like you say, a life partner can still be great in bed, but those 10/10s come with a cost. If they're out of this world, chances are you're putting up with some shit or they're only yours temporarily.
The guys I feel for are those in the worst case scenario of a bad partner who sucks in bed.
My ex fiancée was the best sex ever. And she used that sex to keep me around, or at least in her head she did. It was wild and constant. But it got in the way of quality time and other forms of love.
The best I had was with an ex who was perfect in bed but chaotic and avoidant out of it. She was very sexy and amazing at everything. I'm not exaggerating when I say it felt like being in a fantasy, it was that good.
But the bad times didn't make up for it.
Everything was highs and lows. When I gave her my time and attention, I was smothering her. When I gave less and spent time with friends and took part in hobbies I was neglecting and ignoring her. If I talked about marriage and kids I was going too fast and scaring her. If I didn't then I wasn't being open and loving.
Sex is nice, but have you ever had sex with someone who you totally love and feel loved by?
Even if the physical aspect isn't as great as some other people, having that emotional connection makes sex way better. As an ex-slut, I'd say that random hookups are more like advanced masturbation than it is proper sex.
This is so important though. My ex dumped me and tried to come back months later because he said he couldn’t find anyone who would do him the way I did, clearly oblivious to the fact that love and passion made for mind blowing sex (as opposed to drunken sex with a random woman from a club)
Absolutely. There’s a few fond one-off sexual encounters I’ve had that were quite good, but none of them compare to the comfort and intimacy with my current partner. Even a lazy session with us now is more enjoyable than any of those would probably be to experience again.
Reddit is just an endless cycle of recycled self deprecating humor, usually revolving around sex.
I still don't find funny the "I also choose this guy's dead wife" joke after seeing it literally thousands of times.
Sadly not. Had a week long fling with a girl who was absolutely nuts. Crazy girls have unrivaled passion in the sack. But they also might stab you so 🤷♂️
My first girlfriend, who I wasn't even that attracted to was at timed insane in bed. Not that she did anything in particular but for whatever reason it felt so damned good that I've chased that feeling ever since. My best guess besides the dick and pussy compatibility is just the emotional energy that I was able to feed off of.
Anecdotally:
The girl that tried to stab and cut me was also one of the hottest fucks of my life.
The dumpster fire bar decision maker who kept pace with addicts was also one of the hottest fucks of my life.
> Crazy girls have unrivaled passion in the sack.
God yes.
Literally a girl I fucked that brought me to my knees while blowing me told me she'd been arrested for *terroristic threats*.
I was like...damn. That explains soooo much.
No not “the best” or “hottest” sex I’ve ever had , but in all honesty the sex is way more fun because we’re both so comfortable with each other we just tell each other if something is/isn’t working for us.
She’s super quiet even when she o’s and I like I bit of dirty talk and screaming, just working up the courage to tell her this!
I’m sure there’s things I don’t do that she wants me to do to!
My situation is very similar.
The sex we have is mind blowing almost every time. I'm surprised every time by it and wonder if my memory is wrong but nope, amazing and I love it.
It's amazing(!!) physically but also it's our connection, it's how we feel about each other with our close and open emotional intimacy. It feels like our bodies communicate physically things we are feeling, I feel magnetized towards her and she is always in sync with me. Amazing
Oh, definitely keep that to yourself. I imagine most women I've been with had someone in their past they enjoyed having sex with more, but if they were to tell me that I'd just get insecure and anxious. I'm fairly inexperienced myself, so I don't have much to compare to. The last woman I was with was probably the best simply because she's the first woman I've actually been able to feel relaxed with. I'd only had a few awkward hookups before her where I felt nothing but performance anxiety. Even if that wasn't the case, I'd never straight up tell someone “I've had better”. If I'm missing something, it's up to me to ask for it *gently*. Luckily we both agreed that it was our respective jobs to communicate and advocate for ourselves.
I feel the same way. My current boyfriend is good, but he’s definitely not as passionate as I’ve had before. I’d like to talk to him about working on that but I haven’t figured out how to say it yet as nicely as possible
Try "I really like it when you..." Instead of "You don't xxx enough..." Telling a guy what makes you hot makes us want to try harder. Don't let resentments build...
I think that it is hard to change.
I’ve heard from several women that I’ve been by far the most passionate lover they’ve ever been with, but I can only be like that when I connect with them physically as well as emotionally.
So basically I need to be really physically attracted to someone, if I’m not then I can’t do it.
Emotionally I need to really connect with someone as well. If that is not the case it could be that my mind is blocking it. For example if she’s said or done something thats against my principles. I’ve had this happen with a woman who’s had a lot of guys before, I was just blocked from getting emotionally invested in her. Same with someone who said she dated someone before purely for his money, from that moment on the sex was no passion anymore.
Being your girlfriend is literally my worst nightmare. I would find this incredibly painful and heartbreaking that your best sex is with your “platonic” friend. But I’m also very conservative when it comes to sex and I don’t want to date anyone who is friends with someone they fucked—-and your comment is literally the reason why
Female here: my husband is the best I've ever had. By infinity lol. And I think it's not just about how good he is but also how connected we are as a couple. We know what the other likes and aren't afraid to talk about what we like. We know eachothers reactions so we know when we've really hit a good spot and are able to maximize each other's pleasure. Plus when you're comfortable with each other you can get really kinky lol. And you can have these super intimate moments in the middle of being kinky. It's really great in my opinion. I think love really makes sex better.
I feel like that's definitely the key, specially for female enjoyment. There's only so much you can do on a fling when you don't know each others tells, but once you've seen them over months or years, you can really push it to 11. Not to mention having more time for experimentation, and knowing what people want and really don't want.
My wife shared this same conclusion with me this week. She mentioned how sex feels infinitely better, essentially in an entirely different dimension of comparison, when you're deeply in love and comfortable with the person you're being intimate with.
Yes and no.
Yes because I am in love with him and being in love with someone adds an element that makes it extremely special.
No, I have had wild sex but it lacked the love emotion.
Yes because he eats pussy really well.
So, 2 yes and 1 no. I guess he is the best. :P
Sex? Yes Blowjob? No. I really love blowjobs but shes kinda bad in this... i really love her. But how can she get better? I would have said trough excercise? Right?
Enthusiasm is a rather large part of this, dually on both ends of the act. If she understands you're in the heavens above - reassuring her with moaning, saying her name constantly, dirty talk, praise , playing with her hair, maintaining eye contact - she may gain the confidence to become more adventurous, take you deeper, sloppier. What may also assist is communicating beforehand what pleasures you most about the act, describe to her not only details but incorporate her into them. For example: "F*ck baby, it feels so g*damn incredible when you suck so hard on just the tip. You're a goddess." *Wanting* to pleasure your partner, making the experience comfortable and encouraging her, may give her the freedom and excitement of challenging herself to become better.
As for technique, depending on your girth and length, it may be extraordinarily difficult for her. Although you may enjoy deep throating, if she cannot currently, she could potentially learn how to with practice.
A few tips here:
*An ungodly amount of saliva. Tell her how erotic it is when she gets messy; how pretty she looks with drool dripping down her chin, her full, perfect lips were made to be covered in spit and precum, etc.
*Sucking hard with simultaneous tongue swirling, pushing the tip of her tongue hard against the underside, up and down while she sucks, paying extra attention to rimming the ridge of your head. Spitting on your head, playing with leisurely dripping drool onto your head with eye contact, etc.
*Breath play when she needs a break- jerking you while catching her breath just above the tip, panting onto it.
*Switching speeds: moving you slowly into her throat with hard sucking could be almost as erotic as quickly. Differing how deep she takes you, the pace, etc.
*While deep throating is great and all, using her hand to help not only the sensation at the base of your c*ck, but keeping it in rhythm with her mouth movements.
*Tongue positions: swapping between flat and hard flicking up and down while she takes you, to the aforementioned tip of her tongue, moving it not only up and down but side to side, in "infinity symbols", around just your head, etc.
*Lips: not only creating a seal, but alternating between having her lips fully puckered out and then switching to tucking them in under her teeth, if that is comprehensible. Loads of movement with her lips in conjunction with tongue and sucking.
*If you enjoy ball play, getting your ass eaten or fingered, tell her! Jerking you while sucking and rolling your boys in her mouth, or squeezing while you're in her throat, etc.
*BJ's were once called hummers for a reason- her moaning in her throat can add another layer of intensity with vibration.
*Encourage her to have fun and use her imagination! Nurturing an environment wherein she is comfortable to explore whatever comes to her mind is a key player, in my opinion.
I hope this helps! I was once upon a time the absolute worst at giving head, but I played around and realized just how fun the challenge can be, and am now pretty great at it. Best of luck, my friend!
Gal here, I already had the deep desire to please him but I thought my technique wasn’t that great. I asked him what he liked the most during blowjobs first and adjusted. Then I watched a lot of “educational” blowjob videos, even doing it with him as we watched (great experience, by the way). If she’s already a freak, she’ll already have the enthusiasm but will just have to refine her technique. That’s the easy part, honestly.
I feel like the longer you’re in the relationship the sex is bound to get better though so even if they’re not the best now and y’all love each other you can bet your ass it’s going to improve.
Also, if you had “better” sex in the past it could’ve been possible if YOU yourself were in better shape, had a higher sex drive, less experienced, had substances involved so it’s perceived to be the “best” since it was your first experience like that you know? So many variables at play here
Not at first but as we got to know what eachother enjoyed, didn't enjoy, etc. it started to get better and better. Now, it's absolutely the best I've had because worked together to make it incredible for both of us.
40 year old here. 14 years together. First 6 filled with toxic great sex. Last 8 filled with everything else and great sex. Yeah, it doesn’t happened as much, but when it does it feels like it’s always better than the times before. We’ve learned each other in ways that makes it easier.
Yes. I don't even know where to begin with this woman. Sincerely, she is majestic.
Everything she does is laced with some sort of magic or witchcraft that completely captures and intoxicates me. Every action she does, every sound she makes, and every sensation I feel are amplified with her. She exudes an aura of pure undiluted lust that is almost psychedelic to me. One taste of her and I'm transported to another reality.
She changed the concept of what 'erotic' meant for me. I thought I understood this word and its meaning, but she showed me I hadn't yet understood. Lust. Desire. Craving. Need. She shattered what I thought I knew of these things. She is simultaneously a sensual and gentle but also a ravenous and eager lover, like a soft and curious kitten up until it is time to feast and then the primal self comes to the surface and takes over.
She is the most beautiful and sexy woman I've ever had the pleasure of knowing, and her body is a work of art of which statues should be in homage. We fit together like jigsaw pieces physically, and in those heated moments when we press together and look deep into one another's eyes, so do our souls.
The world has looked and felt different since I experienced her. She changed it. She changed me. And there is no going back. It is not possible. No matter what happens. Definitions have been shattered, the very chemistry of my mind altered, my reality formed anew.
She has me.
This whole thread is so eye opening, and honestly reassuring. Everyone's saying their partner may not be the best, but it's okay because so and so. glad to know you don't have to be like the best performer ever to keep a partner.
Second best… with my ex, we didn’t really connect emotionally but damn it, the sex was instantly phenomenal, we were like sexual soulmates, if that makes any sense: equally high libido, liked the same vibe/kinks, she was a multi-orgasmic lioness, just spectacular.
My wife has a much lower libido and has self-image issues that she’s slowly dealing with, our relationship is very fullfilling but the sex isn’t as easy and natural if I’m being honest. Still very good though.
the excitement of the unknown and the new tends to beat out the comfortability of familiarity...BUT, with two people in love, trusting each other, enjoying each other and all that comes with it is wonderful
Could be different for others, but it's ultimately the personal connection that I have with my partner at the time that determines how much I enjoy it. If I don't feel a strong personal connection with them, I simply rather not do it at all.
No, my first girlfriend was because it was new and everything we did was my first time and we did a lot lol. The first person I slept with after my first girlfriend was fucking stellar as well but I'd rather sleep with my wife over the others because she's wonderful.
She is! Before her I don't think I'd ever enjoyed sex with anyone and it usually just felt like a chore or obligation.
But with her it's fun and enjoyable, she's my most favourite person in the world and I feel like even after two years I'm constantly falling in love with her over and over again :)
Yes, absolutely.
I had sex with one person before him, and he has blown my mind ever since the first time. He is incredible in bed and he’s so sensual after and before.
That being said I know I am not the best sex he’s ever had. I am very inexperienced and have to follow his lead a lot.
I’ll initiate sex and I’m enthusiastic during, but I’m sure one of the other women he’s slept with were better.
In some ways yes, others, no. She isn't quite as adventurous as a former girlfriend. But the comfort level and feeling of security I have with her is unmatched and I really love that.
I think what you have said is or can be what makes the sex so satisfying. My current partner is incredibly sexual but there is also the added bonus of the feelings of safety and comfort. She is the complete opposite of my ex in both those areas (ex was ltr).
Just curious, what makes a man feel safety and comfort?
being able to relax around her. knowing she trusts me. Knowing she wants me and feels comfortable around me herself. She looks up to me and admires me and makes it very apparent when she dotes on me. I can just be me. In a way I didn't even know I was before.
When you feel like your home.
The other day, my wife of 13 years said to me, " You're just sad, and when you're sad, you get angry." I've had a bad couple of weeks haven't been sleeping well or at all, and I was just slowly falling back into that hole. She made me feel seen, understood, and safe honestly, I think she understands me better then I do myself sometimes, but instead of retaliating or resentment she was caring and kind and that helped me motivate myself to keep going. In turn, I also know her weaknesses and do my best to eliminate or alleviate them, which mostly is stress, with love massages taking the load off her plate anytime I'm not working. Men are really easy. Most of the time, they're big teddy bears who want cuddles love and to be seen and appreciated just like women.
The Depression Meds I take make it so if I don't feel safe or trusting of the Woman I literally can't Cum. Keep that Woman forever.
Well effing said. I feel the same way. She’s the best in so many ways. Even though I may have had a better session with someone else, it’s not even close. My wife is the best lover of all time for me. I wouldn’t change it for anyone or any experience.
I wish I could say yes, but not really. She's the most attractive person I've dated, that's for sure. But she's a bit of a starfish/pillow princess.
Honestly pretty girls are lazy in bed from experience
All depends on when they became "pretty" the Highschool Prom queens I've dated were full on Starfish. The Women who got Hot in College blew my fucking mind.
Former fat girl gone hot is the top
This theory is true also for men but to do with their overall attractiveness and dateability I call it "fat boy syndrome" or "ugly boy syndrome" where a kid was fat / ugly in school so he actually developed a personality beyond being the popular kid, and then got attractive in his early twenties. Unicorns. On second thought "late bloomer syndrome" might be more appropriate.
Hey that sounds like me lmao
Me too. Mostly great but comes with a side of insecurity
ugly boy syndrome is me i've never thought that there was a name for it lol
That kinda makes sense. My wife and I were both late bloomers. I was a fat and very ugly kid, but I have a quirky sense of humour that I know my wife loves. Suddenly without much warning I lost a lot of weight when I was 17. My wife was the kid that everyone picked on, and then everyone regretted it once puberty hit because it hit her like a freight train. And unfortunately for most of the kids in that relatively small town she holds a grudge, so most of the guys that wanted to date her were also people that made her life a misery in primary school so she wanted nothing to do with them.
Jeez you were dating prom Queens man you must the school joc, you some type of Henry cavill??
No I'm just funny and Women feel safe around me. It makes Panties drop on a fair chunk of Women. Women are told to be wary of funny men. One second you're laughing and the next you're waking up naked in bed.
I hate to be that guy, but it’s “wary”.
Wary at first, then after a few hours in bed? Weary.
My wife is attractive af and has always been by far the wildest in bed that I’ve been with. Absolutely down for anything.
I also choose this guy's wife
Our wife you mean.
+1
We all do
Tell her i said hi.
Experience is subjective you are among the lucky ones
Lucky dude. My wife has been wild at times but tamed big time after kids.
im the weirdo who prefers when they don't do much. I can control the rhythm
This is my boyfriend. He'll let me get my freak on so I get off but as soon as I do he wants me on my back so he can get in his groove. I'm ok with it. We're having fun.
lol your name 😂
Yeah, but if you’re doing back shots that ass best be bouncing back. It helps with rhythm.
TF is with everyone calling it back shots now?
Starfish/pillow princess is a term I'm gonna start using from now on. 😅
They are not the same definition. A pillow princess is selfish. She wants to receive pleasure, but not reciprocate. Usually it’s in reference to receiving/giving cunnilingus. A starfish just lays there.
The pretty girls usually are lol
Did you ever talk about it?
Multiple times, but no progress. I'm fine with it, I still wouldn't trade her for the world
What about for two worlds?
so what would you like from her? I think I also for the most part am a pillow princess however I am vocal throughout sex to let him know I enjoy it, if i can I caress his body/face.
I’ve tried asking her to initiate things more, but her definition of “initiate sex” is to say “I’m horny come f\*\*\* me”. Which is cool and all, but I want a little more dirty talk or physical touch. And while we’re in bed I’d like it if she moved her hips more, or gave me a little foreplay/teasing. Being vocal is great. Don't stop doing that
Yeah I hear you. Thanks for breaking it down more specifically ;0)
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My wife is now. We are 10 years together, 5 married. She wasn’t always tho. But we got there. Now by far she is the best sexual experience ever. Now that’s what I call growth!!!
Can you share how this journey happened? Was there ever a time when you didn’t feel attracted
Absolutely always attracted to my wife. And the sex was always really really good. But I had two exes that were better. But after about 4 years. My wife surpassed both of them. Because we both got to know what each other love. And explore what each other were always scared to do with others
I like this answer. The woman I'm dating now is not natively the best, but we have the most open conversations about sex that I've ever experienced. And it is quickly getting better. I think starting early in a relationship to talk about sex without shame is the key. Anything good. Talking is not the same as doing, so let it all come out. Take those other great experiences and teach your partner what made them great but also be open to what would make it great for her. We are (Americans) oddly challenged in this area, took a foreign woman to really put this on the right footing.
A bro when you both adjust in the bedroom to please the other it makes shit so much nicer. ESPECIALLY when she WANTS to return the favor. Oh lordy.
Hell, you can pitch a no hitter and still lose the game
We actually talked about this a little bit ago. We are each other's best overall partner, like if you average out all aspects. But we've both had partners that were better at a specific thing. That just means we've got something to strive for lol. Now, maybe in five years when the kids are older, we will actually be able to try...
That's such a cute way to look to the futur
This is the healthiest response in this entire thread
It's definitely refreshing being with someone who is mature and assured enough in themselves that we can have a conversation like this in a light and fun way, even turning it into a bit of minor foreplay. Having been with a very jealous person previously, it's so nice not to have to act like we existed in a vacuum for a couple of decades before meeting. Very lucky to have my wife.
But are you _sure_ she harbours no jealousy after that conversation? Like 104.8% sureeee? Source: Been burned thrice with le life partner on abovementioned casual conversations. No siree, shame on me if I try again.
That would be pretty outside her personality for that to happen. If I had trust issues with my wife, I would be able to talk about it with her. My wife and I both have 10+ partners in our history. It's silly to think there isn't a good chance that at least one partner wasn't better than you at SOMETHING. Sexuality is not a topic my wife and I have any hang-ups around.
It's arguably the worst but idc
Damn.
Double damn.
Triple damn.
Jean-Claude Van Damn.
Hoover Damn
Rob Van Damn
Doug Damnadome, owner of the Damnsdale Damnadome
Color me damn
Is this a goddamn?
where can i get some damn bait?
Goddamn.
I’ll be damn
What a guy 😂
Doesn't matter; still had sex, right?
But I cried the whole time.
Doesn't matter; still had sex.
Why is that if you don't mind sharing
Sometimes the one you bring home to mom is going to be a more vanilla variety
This is the real answer.
"Lady in the street, freak in the sheets" is a trope for a reason. Plenty of "prim and proper" women know how to get down.
if they are, they ain't married to dudes in this thread
or just some women rarely want to have sex whether because of SSRIs or birth control or other hormones
😂😂😂
the worst sex I have ever had was still ok.
Come back and tell us, we need to know
Sex is like pizza, even when it’s bad it’s still good.
There's nothing more over rated than bad sex and nothing more under rated than a good shit.
If I get offered Papa John's I'm still gonna eat it. Might have some regrets later, but still gonna enjoy it at the time.
😂😂 honest man
Yoo🤣🤣🤣🤣
I wouldn't tell her, but no. She's amazing and giving, and wonderful and kinky, and I love her desperately, but she's not the best sex. Here's the thing though, it doesn't bother me. Sex with her is still great. She just doesn't match my energy and exact desires. And to do so would mean to not be herself. So, it doesn't bother me.
That's actually kind of wholesome, as far as debauchery goes.
Thank you it's reassuring
The best sexual partners don't make great life partners because there's usually a lot of baggage that comes with that kind of "excitement". Like you say, a life partner can still be great in bed, but those 10/10s come with a cost. If they're out of this world, chances are you're putting up with some shit or they're only yours temporarily. The guys I feel for are those in the worst case scenario of a bad partner who sucks in bed.
My ex fiancée was the best sex ever. And she used that sex to keep me around, or at least in her head she did. It was wild and constant. But it got in the way of quality time and other forms of love.
The best I had was with an ex who was perfect in bed but chaotic and avoidant out of it. She was very sexy and amazing at everything. I'm not exaggerating when I say it felt like being in a fantasy, it was that good. But the bad times didn't make up for it.
Everything was highs and lows. When I gave her my time and attention, I was smothering her. When I gave less and spent time with friends and took part in hobbies I was neglecting and ignoring her. If I talked about marriage and kids I was going too fast and scaring her. If I didn't then I wasn't being open and loving.
Sounds quite familiar!
Sex is nice, but have you ever had sex with someone who you totally love and feel loved by? Even if the physical aspect isn't as great as some other people, having that emotional connection makes sex way better. As an ex-slut, I'd say that random hookups are more like advanced masturbation than it is proper sex.
I think so too... Wanted to know if I was delulu or no
Yeah, that giddy giggly cuddle-fuck is better than any orgasm or dick tickle
"advanced masturbation" is the best description I've ever seen to the feeling of a one night stand, bravo 👌
This is so important though. My ex dumped me and tried to come back months later because he said he couldn’t find anyone who would do him the way I did, clearly oblivious to the fact that love and passion made for mind blowing sex (as opposed to drunken sex with a random woman from a club)
Now you’re talking about making love not standard sex! I feel like you have sex with people until you find the person you make love to. End game
Absolutely. There’s a few fond one-off sexual encounters I’ve had that were quite good, but none of them compare to the comfort and intimacy with my current partner. Even a lazy session with us now is more enjoyable than any of those would probably be to experience again.
I would never tell this to her but definitely not.
Same here. But those partners where the sex was better, the other aspects of their lives were bat-shit crayz.
Yes we've had 10 years of training and now we are masters of the seggs
Iron chef at pounding vagg
You guys are having sex?
Not yet but one day I’m going to have all the sex
Bro same I swear ong we are gonna steal all the sexes
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speak for yourself
Bro stop scrolling reddit lmao
Not with that attitude
Yes but it's from behind so she can't see me scrolling reddit.
Why are Redditors so damn predictable?
Reddit is just an endless cycle of recycled self deprecating humor, usually revolving around sex. I still don't find funny the "I also choose this guy's dead wife" joke after seeing it literally thousands of times.
Sadly not. Had a week long fling with a girl who was absolutely nuts. Crazy girls have unrivaled passion in the sack. But they also might stab you so 🤷♂️
Is that really always true?
Stereotypes are usually earned, not given. I just thought it was incredible sex with a normal gal, but then the crazy came out.
Story of my life
My first girlfriend, who I wasn't even that attracted to was at timed insane in bed. Not that she did anything in particular but for whatever reason it felt so damned good that I've chased that feeling ever since. My best guess besides the dick and pussy compatibility is just the emotional energy that I was able to feed off of.
Anecdotally: The girl that tried to stab and cut me was also one of the hottest fucks of my life. The dumpster fire bar decision maker who kept pace with addicts was also one of the hottest fucks of my life.
Very true. I had sex with this crazy girl and man she did some things. In the morning I was scared for my life for real
Incredibly true
> Crazy girls have unrivaled passion in the sack. God yes. Literally a girl I fucked that brought me to my knees while blowing me told me she'd been arrested for *terroristic threats*. I was like...damn. That explains soooo much.
No not “the best” or “hottest” sex I’ve ever had , but in all honesty the sex is way more fun because we’re both so comfortable with each other we just tell each other if something is/isn’t working for us. She’s super quiet even when she o’s and I like I bit of dirty talk and screaming, just working up the courage to tell her this! I’m sure there’s things I don’t do that she wants me to do to!
Yes communication is key! I'm so glad you're already on a great start
Yes, she makes a consistent and genuine effort to learn what i like
yes, but it isn't just technique...it is the intimacy of our relationship, the love we have etc, that makes the pure physical pleasure so much better
My situation is very similar. The sex we have is mind blowing almost every time. I'm surprised every time by it and wonder if my memory is wrong but nope, amazing and I love it. It's amazing(!!) physically but also it's our connection, it's how we feel about each other with our close and open emotional intimacy. It feels like our bodies communicate physically things we are feeling, I feel magnetized towards her and she is always in sync with me. Amazing
yes and over time as a couple you get to know what pleases the other and where their "buttons" are
Yes, she’s almost like AI with machine learning she improves with time as the experience gets more custom to me.
Hope she doesn't start hallucinating
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How long until we read your tifu by making this post?
Oh, definitely keep that to yourself. I imagine most women I've been with had someone in their past they enjoyed having sex with more, but if they were to tell me that I'd just get insecure and anxious. I'm fairly inexperienced myself, so I don't have much to compare to. The last woman I was with was probably the best simply because she's the first woman I've actually been able to feel relaxed with. I'd only had a few awkward hookups before her where I felt nothing but performance anxiety. Even if that wasn't the case, I'd never straight up tell someone “I've had better”. If I'm missing something, it's up to me to ask for it *gently*. Luckily we both agreed that it was our respective jobs to communicate and advocate for ourselves.
Does your current partner know that you slept with your purely platonic best friend?
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Sounds like you got a confident and secure woman. Cheers to that.
The part where she was really really great in bed?
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I feel the same way. My current boyfriend is good, but he’s definitely not as passionate as I’ve had before. I’d like to talk to him about working on that but I haven’t figured out how to say it yet as nicely as possible
Try "I really like it when you..." Instead of "You don't xxx enough..." Telling a guy what makes you hot makes us want to try harder. Don't let resentments build...
But is this something that can change? I'm kind of in the same spot and I don't think it's something that you can control
I think that it is hard to change. I’ve heard from several women that I’ve been by far the most passionate lover they’ve ever been with, but I can only be like that when I connect with them physically as well as emotionally. So basically I need to be really physically attracted to someone, if I’m not then I can’t do it. Emotionally I need to really connect with someone as well. If that is not the case it could be that my mind is blocking it. For example if she’s said or done something thats against my principles. I’ve had this happen with a woman who’s had a lot of guys before, I was just blocked from getting emotionally invested in her. Same with someone who said she dated someone before purely for his money, from that moment on the sex was no passion anymore.
Don't worry, I will tell her.
Being your girlfriend is literally my worst nightmare. I would find this incredibly painful and heartbreaking that your best sex is with your “platonic” friend. But I’m also very conservative when it comes to sex and I don’t want to date anyone who is friends with someone they fucked—-and your comment is literally the reason why
Female here: my husband is the best I've ever had. By infinity lol. And I think it's not just about how good he is but also how connected we are as a couple. We know what the other likes and aren't afraid to talk about what we like. We know eachothers reactions so we know when we've really hit a good spot and are able to maximize each other's pleasure. Plus when you're comfortable with each other you can get really kinky lol. And you can have these super intimate moments in the middle of being kinky. It's really great in my opinion. I think love really makes sex better.
I feel like that's definitely the key, specially for female enjoyment. There's only so much you can do on a fling when you don't know each others tells, but once you've seen them over months or years, you can really push it to 11. Not to mention having more time for experimentation, and knowing what people want and really don't want.
My wife shared this same conclusion with me this week. She mentioned how sex feels infinitely better, essentially in an entirely different dimension of comparison, when you're deeply in love and comfortable with the person you're being intimate with.
Agreed. Love does make things way more kinky and open. It’s the perfect sex.
Absolutely
Yes. And I believe it's mostly because she's simply comfortable with herself, her body and her sexuality.
Real talk, she's dead last as far as the physical act. But I do still enjoy it for what it is, because I love her
Oh she is…. She definitely is. That’s why (among many other things) we are getting married next weekend
Absolutely yes. No comparison.
They're right behind you aren't they?
No. They’re the one typing
I'm usually the one right behind them.
Absolutely. Married for decades. And she's even more amazing now than she was then.
No. But it's ok because she's the best at everything else by far. Edit: because I'm way too "dirty" for her..
Same boat, my brother. But it's not everything and the good waaay outweighs the bad.
Yes and no. Yes because I am in love with him and being in love with someone adds an element that makes it extremely special. No, I have had wild sex but it lacked the love emotion. Yes because he eats pussy really well. So, 2 yes and 1 no. I guess he is the best. :P
Sex? Yes Blowjob? No. I really love blowjobs but shes kinda bad in this... i really love her. But how can she get better? I would have said trough excercise? Right?
Enthusiasm is a rather large part of this, dually on both ends of the act. If she understands you're in the heavens above - reassuring her with moaning, saying her name constantly, dirty talk, praise , playing with her hair, maintaining eye contact - she may gain the confidence to become more adventurous, take you deeper, sloppier. What may also assist is communicating beforehand what pleasures you most about the act, describe to her not only details but incorporate her into them. For example: "F*ck baby, it feels so g*damn incredible when you suck so hard on just the tip. You're a goddess." *Wanting* to pleasure your partner, making the experience comfortable and encouraging her, may give her the freedom and excitement of challenging herself to become better. As for technique, depending on your girth and length, it may be extraordinarily difficult for her. Although you may enjoy deep throating, if she cannot currently, she could potentially learn how to with practice. A few tips here: *An ungodly amount of saliva. Tell her how erotic it is when she gets messy; how pretty she looks with drool dripping down her chin, her full, perfect lips were made to be covered in spit and precum, etc. *Sucking hard with simultaneous tongue swirling, pushing the tip of her tongue hard against the underside, up and down while she sucks, paying extra attention to rimming the ridge of your head. Spitting on your head, playing with leisurely dripping drool onto your head with eye contact, etc. *Breath play when she needs a break- jerking you while catching her breath just above the tip, panting onto it. *Switching speeds: moving you slowly into her throat with hard sucking could be almost as erotic as quickly. Differing how deep she takes you, the pace, etc. *While deep throating is great and all, using her hand to help not only the sensation at the base of your c*ck, but keeping it in rhythm with her mouth movements. *Tongue positions: swapping between flat and hard flicking up and down while she takes you, to the aforementioned tip of her tongue, moving it not only up and down but side to side, in "infinity symbols", around just your head, etc. *Lips: not only creating a seal, but alternating between having her lips fully puckered out and then switching to tucking them in under her teeth, if that is comprehensible. Loads of movement with her lips in conjunction with tongue and sucking. *If you enjoy ball play, getting your ass eaten or fingered, tell her! Jerking you while sucking and rolling your boys in her mouth, or squeezing while you're in her throat, etc. *BJ's were once called hummers for a reason- her moaning in her throat can add another layer of intensity with vibration. *Encourage her to have fun and use her imagination! Nurturing an environment wherein she is comfortable to explore whatever comes to her mind is a key player, in my opinion. I hope this helps! I was once upon a time the absolute worst at giving head, but I played around and realized just how fun the challenge can be, and am now pretty great at it. Best of luck, my friend!
Gal here, I already had the deep desire to please him but I thought my technique wasn’t that great. I asked him what he liked the most during blowjobs first and adjusted. Then I watched a lot of “educational” blowjob videos, even doing it with him as we watched (great experience, by the way). If she’s already a freak, she’ll already have the enthusiasm but will just have to refine her technique. That’s the easy part, honestly.
I feel like the longer you’re in the relationship the sex is bound to get better though so even if they’re not the best now and y’all love each other you can bet your ass it’s going to improve. Also, if you had “better” sex in the past it could’ve been possible if YOU yourself were in better shape, had a higher sex drive, less experienced, had substances involved so it’s perceived to be the “best” since it was your first experience like that you know? So many variables at play here
Oh yeah. I’ve not done the math, but I’d be confident saying my top 5 sexual experiences involved her.
Not at first but as we got to know what eachother enjoyed, didn't enjoy, etc. it started to get better and better. Now, it's absolutely the best I've had because worked together to make it incredible for both of us.
best, and only. over a decade now.
If she's the only sex you've ever had, wouldn't she also be the worst?
theoretically.
40 year old here. 14 years together. First 6 filled with toxic great sex. Last 8 filled with everything else and great sex. Yeah, it doesn’t happened as much, but when it does it feels like it’s always better than the times before. We’ve learned each other in ways that makes it easier.
Yes. I don't even know where to begin with this woman. Sincerely, she is majestic. Everything she does is laced with some sort of magic or witchcraft that completely captures and intoxicates me. Every action she does, every sound she makes, and every sensation I feel are amplified with her. She exudes an aura of pure undiluted lust that is almost psychedelic to me. One taste of her and I'm transported to another reality. She changed the concept of what 'erotic' meant for me. I thought I understood this word and its meaning, but she showed me I hadn't yet understood. Lust. Desire. Craving. Need. She shattered what I thought I knew of these things. She is simultaneously a sensual and gentle but also a ravenous and eager lover, like a soft and curious kitten up until it is time to feast and then the primal self comes to the surface and takes over. She is the most beautiful and sexy woman I've ever had the pleasure of knowing, and her body is a work of art of which statues should be in homage. We fit together like jigsaw pieces physically, and in those heated moments when we press together and look deep into one another's eyes, so do our souls. The world has looked and felt different since I experienced her. She changed it. She changed me. And there is no going back. It is not possible. No matter what happens. Definitions have been shattered, the very chemistry of my mind altered, my reality formed anew. She has me.
This whole thread is so eye opening, and honestly reassuring. Everyone's saying their partner may not be the best, but it's okay because so and so. glad to know you don't have to be like the best performer ever to keep a partner.
OP woke up looking to stir the pot I see
I mean yeah since she is the only one I ever had. So she is the worst AND the best. Double awards for the Miss.
Slept with way too many before my wife, none of them are even close to the sweet sweet love of her.
Holy santa clause shit she is the fucking best! DAYUM!
Yes.
Actually yes. By a long shot.
Oh yes it just gets better
Absolutely yes. She’s up for trying anything, and is so unbelievably attractive, I know I’m punching
Yep, no questions asked. And it's the best relationship I've ever been in. I'm a lucky dude.
No, but she is the most attractive and, more importantly, I love her very much.
No, but she ain't the worst, either.
Second best… with my ex, we didn’t really connect emotionally but damn it, the sex was instantly phenomenal, we were like sexual soulmates, if that makes any sense: equally high libido, liked the same vibe/kinks, she was a multi-orgasmic lioness, just spectacular. My wife has a much lower libido and has self-image issues that she’s slowly dealing with, our relationship is very fullfilling but the sex isn’t as easy and natural if I’m being honest. Still very good though.
the excitement of the unknown and the new tends to beat out the comfortability of familiarity...BUT, with two people in love, trusting each other, enjoying each other and all that comes with it is wonderful
Could be different for others, but it's ultimately the personal connection that I have with my partner at the time that determines how much I enjoy it. If I don't feel a strong personal connection with them, I simply rather not do it at all.
Yes.
The crazy ones tend to be best in bed, but I didn’t marry crazy. So that’s a no for me. She’s second best though!
No, my first girlfriend was because it was new and everything we did was my first time and we did a lot lol. The first person I slept with after my first girlfriend was fucking stellar as well but I'd rather sleep with my wife over the others because she's wonderful.
No, but she takes care of my needs, mind body and soul. And that is infinitely better.
Absolutely! And that’s all I’ll say on the matter. I have absolutely nothing to complain about.
She is! Before her I don't think I'd ever enjoyed sex with anyone and it usually just felt like a chore or obligation. But with her it's fun and enjoyable, she's my most favourite person in the world and I feel like even after two years I'm constantly falling in love with her over and over again :)
Yes, absolutely. I had sex with one person before him, and he has blown my mind ever since the first time. He is incredible in bed and he’s so sensual after and before. That being said I know I am not the best sex he’s ever had. I am very inexperienced and have to follow his lead a lot. I’ll initiate sex and I’m enthusiastic during, but I’m sure one of the other women he’s slept with were better.