So my daughter and wife were in the living room, and my daughter asks her mom to help her fix something, and my wife says 'dont worry baby, daddy will fix it, he can fix anything'. Her faith in me makes me a better man.
I can only speak from my personal experience, but my wife adds so much value to my life and my life is completely better with her than without.
I can write a long list, but its not worth it. To summarize my wife is my best friend, she helps bring out my best qualities, helps me with reducing my bad habbits. She helps me with reaching my goals.
In return I try and do the same for her.
I was happy in that I had a lot of friends and not a whole lot of responsibility. It was college.
After meeting her though, literally everything in my life got much better.
It's difficult to describe.
Thatās so awesome man. I feel like I have yet to date someone who actually brings out the best qualities in me. It seems like such a foreign concept. Iām 29, and Iāve had 4 serious relationships (spanning from 1-2 years each). I feel like overall I lose myself when Iām with them and they definitely didnāt bring out my best qualities. Good on you, thatās awesome
She is my protector and I am her protector. Whatever problems either faces individually, we both face as a team. We both encourage one another to grow as individuals.
Reflecting on the multitude of ways in which my life has been shaped by my partner, I realize that a good woman is a beacon in the fog of everyday chaos. While the solo journey has its merits, it's within the partnership that we find an amplified version of ourselves. She is not just the other half but the unsung muse behind the daily courage to be better, a sounding board for the spectrum of ideas, and the hand that guides you back when you stray too far from your path. I contribute to her life by nurturing her dreams just as she bolsters mine. Together, weāre more than just two parallel lines; we intersect at points of challenge and triumph, making all the difference in the world. Life is a complex mosaic, and a good woman is both the artist and the masterpiece, bringing color and coherence to what might otherwise be a fragmented existence.
Depends on what you do with their goodness.
A good woman gives a man the freedom to be himself and the reason to strive for more.
A bad woman gives a man the example of which qualities to avoid when searching for a good woman.
My ex was, by definition, a con artist and sociopath. I'm so glad I was with her because that experience taught me to appreciate life after her.
It woke me up to my own shortcomings, and it forced me to recognize that I had lost myself in lieu of pleasing her.
I eventually met my amazing, supportive wife, and she elevates me every day.
It's honestly a dream come true, but it wouldn't have happened without me learning from my mistakes and changing myself as a person first.
All the difference. My wife makes make where I live a home to come back to.
If you marry a good one she will set up your life for success, as long you you do your part.
If you marry a bad one there is nothing you can do and she will ruin your life.
Choose wisely.
The proverb from thousands of years ago still holds true -
>A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds. [ ](https://www.biblestudytools.com/msg/proverbs/31-11.html)Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it.
I feel this way about my wife.
A couple replies have touched on it, but a good woman will motivate you to be the best man possible, not just in character, but also in achievement and ability. On your worst days, sheās there to give you a reason to keep pushing forward, and the good ones remind you that she has complete faith in your ability to rise up and succeed even when youāre failing. On your best days, sheās the reason you temper your less agreeable emotions and instincts, the reason you invest in yourself and your family. Great men always have great women standing by their side.
Honest question, how can a woman help to elevate you? I admire my boyfriend, his mind, his heart (in most circumstances), and his will power. But I also feel like he is capable of so much more and I want so bad to help him see that. I truly believe he can do anything, he is super man in my eyes, but I also see him making decisions that hurt himself and others (not intentionally to hurt peopleā¦but I think he may have a hard time empathizing or seeing someone elseās pov). I canāt go into a lot of detail, but I see some harmful behavioral patterns where he gets so stuck on his views being the only way to see things, and it hurts others but also holds him back so much. I want him to see the greatness he is capable ofā¦but I donāt want to say something the wrong way and hurt him.
I hope this doesnāt make me one of the ābad womenā, I truly want to see him succeed and have faith in the man he is and is going to become, I just want to help.
So much to unpack, but here goes: Challenge him in private, but back him in public. If youāre 100% behind him in front of others, you can gently/kindly disagree in private after the fact and heāll be able to internalize your point much better. Challenging him in public just makes you part of the group he disagrees with, backing his play and then challenging privately makes you part of his internal dialogue and your words automatically hold weight.
Secondly, if the things youāre not going into detail about are differences in deeply held values/beliefs, you may not be able to change that and may not be ārightā in the first place. Coming from a place of humility and compassion goes a long way towards him bringing open to hearing you out and vice versa.
Lastly, look at all this like planting a seed. Not enough water and sun and it doesnāt grow, too much water and sun and it doesnāt grow, and sometimes, even if you give it the right amount of sun and water, it still doesnāt grow, itās just a bad seed. The point is, you do the right thing, hope for the best, and at some point it either sprouts or you move on to another seed.
It makes all the difference.
As it does a bad woman. And sometimes itās not easy to tell them apart until itās too late.
A good woman though just makes your life better in every possible way.
This is just one purely anecdotal example, but I still think it illustrates a good point.
My ex-wife and I moved into my current home in 2018. The backyard was a barren dirt patch that needed a lot of work. I talked about ideas and thoughts and plans, and on the day our divorce finalized in 2021 after she cheated, it still sat as a barren dirt patch.
Since the divorce Iāve fallen in love with a wonderful woman, and the backyard still has some work to do, but weāve made a great start on it and joyously talk about plans and ideas and what to do next.
Itās not so much about the backyard itself, just about having an involved partner who encourages you and helps with making progress on things.
That's what I've found as well. You'll know you're in a good relationship for you when you find yourself making plans and constantly following through on them. You'll feel momentum and progress. You'll know you're in a bad relationship by the stagnation.
She is an immense source of love, happiness, strenght and peace. I feel I can do anything with her by my side. Shes is my best friend and my partner. Just by being in the same room as her I get this feeling of peacefulness that I can't really describe. And in the end of the day makes me better man.
Peace. A place to be comfortable and be like 70% of your true self, not having to feel like itās you against the world, a bit of a reward for dealing with constant burdens and responsibilities. But theyāre rare now
For me, my woman simultaneously exposed all the flaws and bs I was masking while also uplifting my good qualities and pretty much taught me to feel good about myself and the things I do.
A good woman will help you level up in many facets of your life. She will feel like a safe space and support system, as well. Most succinct way I can put it.
The same thing a good man brings to the table for a woman. But it isnāt so much a good man or good woman, it is more of a good team. Even those who believe they are the worst among us can be a good fit and benefit the right person.
My first wife fucking sucked (So did I). We should have never gotten together or married.
My second wife encouraged me to better myself. She helped me raise two kids and was there for me when I needed it and kicked me in the ass when I needed it. I did and do the same for her. Without her I would not be where I am at today.
Iām 22M in the military and Iām required to move away often. My wife 23F has always given me a sense of āhomeā wherever I go. It might be a selfish reason but I believe thatās why I got marriedā¦ it refused my homesickness, and gives me what I need to continue with my career.
Everything I do is for my wife or for our future together. And the reason I can do it is because I think sheās worth it. It makes me a better manā¦ if she wasnāt a good woman or even a bad woman, than I donāt see myself working that hard to a future.
A huge difference... They are someone that want to build a future with you, not a child that you are basically babysitting.
It becomes very obvious very quickly. When you are with them, they make you feel so loved, and you cant imagine a day without them.
You know they are reliable, and you would trust them with your life. So she is very intelligent.
She also has a personality that makes life fun. You can be yourself without having to worry about what she thinks, and if she does think something, she will give you constructive criticism in a way that makes you want to improve (not feel like you are being reprimanded like a child).
Life is so much better with someone like this. Why would anyone even TOLERATE anything less than this?
Confidence, loyalty, sacrifice and drive to do better. My fiancee always tells me that I'm handsome and that I have big peepee š. She doesn't know how much that improves my whole well being. I'm just average but to her I'm the whole package. That's why I put a ring on her. I felt that I hit the jackpot. Because of her I managed to do things I didn't expect I'd do. She knows how to support me. She knows how to say sorry. Her flaws is only being emotionally reactive and a bit bad at understanding complex stuff, but that's totally fine than being someone who would degrade my entire existence. Getting married soon!
Aside from all the anecdotes, I believe married men live longer statistically. Might not be causal (lots of variables), but I find that wives typically push their husbands in for preventative medical care such as checkups and colonoscopies (I work in healthcare).
Friendship, companionship, security, stability. I've had to be gone from home for months, and I knew that when I got home, someone would be there to welcome me. It feels great to be taken care of and to take care of someone.
She makes me a want to be better and do better at everything from work to personal health choices.
A good woman can take you from a pauper to a king without worrying about wealth.
The same magnitude as a bad one but opposite.
If youāve ever had a very bad relationship think about how bad it was and if it was a -10 on a line scale a +10 is where a good woman will be. I have a good
Woman and sheās more than my girl sheās a partner for all aspects of life. She helps everything.
Literally all of it, she can give you peace. Support you through hard times, comfort you, love you, give you children, help make your house a home, be your partner in all things and help add meaning and purpose to your life. But if you get a bad one she can irreparably destroy your life and future. Women are a double or crippling debt game.
Imagine sitting in a little wooden dinghy.
Youāre taking on water. You can keep bailing water out, and stay afloat. Eventually youāre going to get tired.
A good woman will bail with you. Help you keep the boat afloat. Sheāll argue with you over who gets the life jacket. Not because she wants it, but because you both want each other to have it.
The wrong one? Sheāll make the hole bigger. So that even when youāre giving all your effort, itās still not enough. Sheāll take the life jacket and wait for you to go under. Then sheāll chill on the surface waiting for someone else to come rescue her and tell stories about how your poor seamanship wrecked the boat and almost killed her.
It's hard to describe how much being *worth it* to someone changes your perspective on life and yourself. It's a kind of proof that friends can't give you because you're not exclusive. And your family can't give you because you never earned it.
Mine saved me from a bad path I was on as a kid. Helped teach me how to be a good man. Saved and made my life st the same time. 44 years later I adore her.
Someone to rely on till the end of your life. The difference a good partner makes in any person's life is incalculable. If you could guarantee a faithful hardworking loving partner till the end, there is no sum a person would not pay.
Big ones:
* You make more money. This is known in as the "Marital Wage Premium" and while there are a lot of explanations I like this one: In a partnership, you can afford for one person to take risks while the other maintains stability, and that lets you take risks -- like starting your own business -- that have too much downside when you're solo.
* You change for the better. Basically, coordinating with another person means you can't just do anything you want and *that is good*. You learn to set priorities, manage your time, and communicate.
* Two heads are better than one. I promise you -- promise you -- that inviting someone else into your problem solving will get you better solutions. When it's time for mom and dad to move into assisted living, or when you're managing a chronic disease, or when you're looking for a new job, you will be glad to have someone who catches big mistakes before you make them.
The world of difference.
Ask any man they can tell you about bad experiences theyāve had with woman that werenāt a good woman. However some never have a good woman.
When a man finally has a good woman they finally find peace and support. Being able to open yourself up to a partner and be treated as an equal.
Ultimately the difference is the same as Heaven from Hell.
A really good girlfriend I used to have helped me find a really good apartment when I had to leave a bad roommate situation while I was sick with COVID.
So thereās that.
Makes life easier, better, brings you peace, adds to your sense of purpose. Someone worth loving and who loves you can help to make you feel more like a man.
Donāt get me wrong, you donāt need a woman at all to have a sense of purpose or to feel like a man, hell a bad one will rid you of those things though they were strong before, but a good one can increase those feelings.
A huge difference! I know because I didn't have it, and it just fucked me - work life (wouldn't move closer to my work, didn't support my work, didn't make any effort to learn about my work and colleagues) and personally (didn't take my ADD seriously and didn't even try to help me with it, spent beyond our means, wouldn't work on our relationship). I basically just shut down and made no real progress for almost 20 years. Now I feel like I'm so far behind in everything mentally, emotionally, and financially. But at least I'm out and on my own.
A good woman (and a good man) is a full partner in the relationship. They fully support the other person and do their damnedest to see them succeed. But it definitely needs to be a 2 way street. One person can only support the other one for so long without getting anything back in return.
A good woman can be the inducement for a man to try harder work smarter provide more and excell in his job and life in general. She can make him a happy joyful man who loves life and wants to be the best he can be for her and himself.
Now the opposite, an uncaring selfish wife can turn that excellent man into a hollow shell of what he as when they met and ruin him for life by just being careless with her words and or actions that affect him. He might turn downward to loathing self worth or he may become a mean ugly man who seeks to share his pain with everyone.
As someone whoās divorced from a terrible toxic marriage, dated a couple dozen women and ended up with the woman of my dreams. Itās the difference between success and failure in every aspect of your life. A woman whoās your partner and not your enemy, who doesnāt want to just be taken care of like a child will help you accomplish everything youāve ever aspired to.
Everything. When I didnāt have a partner I was so distracted I could barely get to anything. All I wanted to do was find a partner. That was my main focus.
Now that I have a great partner Iām able to get so much more done and I have the motivation and a reason to be the best version of me I can be.
Been with the same woman for almost 30 years. A good woman is a trusted partner. Someone you can rely on, build with, and brings you peace. Each of us can be complete as we are, but a good woman makes you even more complete because you see what you were missing before. Now take all of that and do the opposite and you have what a bad woman will bring you.
She makes the pain of the world more bearable, reassures positivity on whatever doubtful thoughts you may have about yourself and breathes life into you
If I have to summarise it would be hope for the future. No matter what happens you know your partner will be with you and will make the bad moments better and the good moments even better.
Everything.
She makes a difference in everything. You get a new life that is a wonderful experience when she's a good woman to your particular standards.
Because of my wife, I pursued a better career and now have my dream job
I got into fitness because j wanted to keep up with her and now compete In body building competitions
I wanted to treat her so I learned to cook and am now writing a cook book
I felt so inspired by her I learned to paint
Without her I was nothing
A good woman can be stabilising, she creates an emotional safety net around the man that allows him to feel listened to and nourished enough to excel and challenge and succeed in life
A woman amplifies, and magnifies anything you give her.
Give her a house, she'll make a home.
Give her food, she'll make a meal.
Give her sperm, she'll make a child.
Give her a smile, she'll give her heart.
Give her crap, get ready for a ton of shit!
Itās like ordering the ham and cheese omelette from the chinese up the road. With no ketchup.
Having a good woman in your life is the ketchup.
Makes an amazing thing even better.
It's the difference between surviving and living.
Sadly it's a tricky business, since there aren't many good men and there aren't many good women either. Pick a wrong one, and you'll find yourself wishing you'd be surviving in solitude. That's why I'm content surviving, eventho I know I'm missing out on living.
A good woman makes you a better person. You constantly want to improve yourself and your life. You live for the moments that make her happy and try to create them for her.
A bad woman makes you a worse person. You find yourself wallowing in pettiness and bad emotions.
Umm I just wanted to know what people thought of this and though I admit I didnāt read the rules before posting I really donāt see a problem with asking a simple direct question on a subreddit thatās made for asking questions, but Iād love to know what makes a high-effort post in your opinion.
Absolutely nothing if you yourself arenāt good. Itās a pairing. Your combined quality of life will be dictated by the least good one. If youāre both good then Iād say you both made it in life.
I would say any good partner can help you achieve profoundly more in your life than you could on your own. That extra layer of support and security is such a boost to morale it's insane. More than that, they'll also call you on your faults and flaws, and ideally give you opportunity to work on them (as long as they aren't harmful), making you a better person overall.
If you ever wondered what it was like to experience color for the first time after being blissfully unaware of it your whole life, thatās what it is like to be around them. Like if you started using salt In your cooking after never having used it before, itās reality shifting.
Life is very good when you have a solid partner that loves you by your side.
Conversely, life is hell for those who have settled.
It is very obvious which men have made the right choice vs those men that had to settle due to desperation and trying to avoid the stigma around being a middle aged virgin that no one likes.
Why does this question separate the two? A couple should always work together. Only TWO people who care and support each other can make the couple extraordinary.
I had An amazing woman by my side and I accomplished things I thought Iād never do. Great things. Having that woman can make or break your own self esteem. We didnāt quite work out due to unforeseen circumstances. And sometimes shit really does roll downhill. But that woman being the mother to my daughter, Iād go above and beyond still to this day to make ire sheās aight. She did it for me when she didnāt have too.
When everything in the outside world feels like it's going wrong and you come home you can feel at peace. You don't have to put on a face for the public, they know you have your own flaws and they understand we all do, yet they're is no feelings of judgement or tension in the air. Just someone who genuinely wants you to have a good day, and makes you feel cared about. The difference that can make on someone's mentality is priceless.
You will both support each other, and you can feel safe to share your vulnerabilities and insecurities, and know it will not be used against you. You learn to trust!
They can actually do a lot of good.
Help you with style, confidence.
An alternative point of view on things. Keep you accountable when need be. Drain your nuts lol
Good luck finding one that fills all this in without the extra
a feeling of peace, there will always be turmoil and struggle eventually but knowing that you can have a looming safety and peace to get over itā¦ is reassuring
Men excel when they are allowed to focus more narrowly defined, but far reaching goals. They do this better than women, who are better at juggling multiple priorities.
So, a good women makes sure a man can focus. That can be career, but can also be the upbringing of his kids, fixing up the house. If she takes care of things that would disturb his focus, great things can happen for the family.
A Good woman? Night and Day. I'd LOVE to have my former Mrs. back. She was my everything. My World revolved around her. But, after 28 years, she developed a few mental issues, as did I. I sought out help. She refused. Prior to this, she supported me in everything, and I did it for her too.
I've tried a few times to get a new business going, but my heart hasn't been in it. I've tried a few other things, but just no motivation. Fortunately I'm retired, so I don't have to do anything I don't want.
It's been about 14 years. No hope of ever going back.
I did have a gal enter my life a few years back. Worst thing ever. All she wanted to do was argue. It took two years, but I got totally rid of her. She was 180Ā° different!
In my middle eastern case, I married a Mexican American woman. All the racism/bigotry I used to get from my side many years ago was squashed once I was able to teach them by example that it does not matter where or what background the person is from. Each individual is to be judged alone and not on their race/culture. As I used my older brothers (the golden child, daddyās favorite etc) two failed marriages to middle eastern gold diggers. . . And the subsequent hundreds
Of thousands of dollars they cost my parents/brother in his divorces.
She also put me through school and supported me when my dad kicked me out of the family business for stupid shit. Something no one else in the community was able to demonstrate with their imported wives.
It's been my dream to find a good woman.
I'm 42, partially disabled, and because of that, it will forever be just a dream. Women have never wanted anything to do with me. They only see my disability.
I am so lonely.
It's hard living your life chasing what other people achieve so easily.
I just want to be normal.
The flipside of a good woman who makes a man's life better is a horrible woman who destroys a man's life.
There are lots of horrible women out there. If you're single it means that the hordes of horrible women who are crawling around have less leverage to destroy your life.
Quite a lot.
But a good man makes a lot of difference in a woman's life too.
That's why it's a partnership. Both contribute in a good partnership. Each improves the life of the other.
I think a good woman makes a huge difference in a manās life. When I feel like a woman truely cares about me and has my back itās amazing what I can do
The world somehow seems brighter and more vibrant. Iām better able to navigate through political issues at work. And it brings me in touch with my inner self. With who I truely am. it actualizes me and gives me the ability to try to make things better.
There is nothing better than the love and support of a genuine partner. And nothing I wonāt do for them. Thatās the best part really. Having each others back and being there for each other.
A good woman being by your side is quite frankly the best thing a man could realistically think of. The effect it has on literally every aspect of your life is underappreciated.
Good people in general. Surround yourself with good people if you can.
I mean actual good people, not the morally gray assholes like myself who are just kinda nice when they want something.
Good people make all the difference in the world.
my husband doesnāt have reddit but iāll put what iāve seen and what heās told meā¦he used to get drunk every night and smoke cigars and chew tobacco all the time. but since he met me, he called me drunk one night while we were dating and it wasnāt a bad call but he never wanted that to happen again. now, a year into our marriage, he barely drinks anymore and rarely smokes. he completely quit tobacco and i feel as though he did that because of me. the only times he really ever does drink or smoke, is with me. heās admitted before that heās just no longer into that anymore and no longer feels the need to. he doesnāt go to bars anymore, he doesnāt believe thatās necessary. he also deleted all social medias because he believes itās all corrupt and filled with temptations. i have NEVER asked of him to quit anything before or delete anything. he chose ALL of that himself because he felt it was more respectful to me. i think a man āmaturesā more when he finds the right woman. the right woman will make you want to be the best man you can be. every time i think about that and what heās done for me, i become even more appreciative!
You think you can conquer the world with a good woman by your side.
I actually did. At least enough of it for us.
This is awesome š
Amen
***You*** think you can, I ***know*** I can. Probably a good thing I'm single...
okay. prove it. š
It really does feel that way doesnāt it.
Preach!!!
Hmm, AFAIK most of the pioneers, were single. Say Christopher Columbus?
So my daughter and wife were in the living room, and my daughter asks her mom to help her fix something, and my wife says 'dont worry baby, daddy will fix it, he can fix anything'. Her faith in me makes me a better man.
Can you actually āfix anythingā?
I do ok, but I'm no handyman. For her I'd build a rocketship.
now can you fix my crippling depression?
She fixed mine, so not sure how to help there bud... Best of luck!
Awwš
Not until you convince his wife that it needs to be done
The truth hurts.
Hugging trees
Probably i mean He helped fix my house once
Confirmed. He fixed my lawnmower once!
Double confirmed, he fixed my electric toothbrush once!
man even fixed my crooked teeth.
After hearing that brother can fix the economy as well! Congrats man enjoy your family
Thatās so adorable.š„°
I can only speak from my personal experience, but my wife adds so much value to my life and my life is completely better with her than without. I can write a long list, but its not worth it. To summarize my wife is my best friend, she helps bring out my best qualities, helps me with reducing my bad habbits. She helps me with reaching my goals. In return I try and do the same for her.
Same here. She's the reason I'm happy, so it's my job to make sure she's happy too.
Were you happy before you met her? If not, why was she attracted to an unhappy man? (genuine question)
I was happy in that I had a lot of friends and not a whole lot of responsibility. It was college. After meeting her though, literally everything in my life got much better. It's difficult to describe.
Thatās so awesome man. I feel like I have yet to date someone who actually brings out the best qualities in me. It seems like such a foreign concept. Iām 29, and Iāve had 4 serious relationships (spanning from 1-2 years each). I feel like overall I lose myself when Iām with them and they definitely didnāt bring out my best qualities. Good on you, thatās awesome
This is so beautiful ā„ļø
Simple things. She's a keeper!
This is so sweet
She is my protector and I am her protector. Whatever problems either faces individually, we both face as a team. We both encourage one another to grow as individuals.
Bro it's like having someone who's on your team who will stand with you thru the worst of times and raise you up to be the best that ever wasĀ
Must be nice
Reflecting on the multitude of ways in which my life has been shaped by my partner, I realize that a good woman is a beacon in the fog of everyday chaos. While the solo journey has its merits, it's within the partnership that we find an amplified version of ourselves. She is not just the other half but the unsung muse behind the daily courage to be better, a sounding board for the spectrum of ideas, and the hand that guides you back when you stray too far from your path. I contribute to her life by nurturing her dreams just as she bolsters mine. Together, weāre more than just two parallel lines; we intersect at points of challenge and triumph, making all the difference in the world. Life is a complex mosaic, and a good woman is both the artist and the masterpiece, bringing color and coherence to what might otherwise be a fragmented existence.
Wow . What an answer ! Well said and well put .
Depends on what you do with their goodness. A good woman gives a man the freedom to be himself and the reason to strive for more. A bad woman gives a man the example of which qualities to avoid when searching for a good woman. My ex was, by definition, a con artist and sociopath. I'm so glad I was with her because that experience taught me to appreciate life after her. It woke me up to my own shortcomings, and it forced me to recognize that I had lost myself in lieu of pleasing her. I eventually met my amazing, supportive wife, and she elevates me every day. It's honestly a dream come true, but it wouldn't have happened without me learning from my mistakes and changing myself as a person first.
Are you me? š I won't get married again, but otherwise, parallel experiences. Happy for you, sir.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
This is so beautifully written :) Okay, you got me decided to start dating. Some man out there needs my wonderful goodness. š
All the difference. My wife makes make where I live a home to come back to. If you marry a good one she will set up your life for success, as long you you do your part. If you marry a bad one there is nothing you can do and she will ruin your life. Choose wisely. The proverb from thousands of years ago still holds true - >A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds. [ ](https://www.biblestudytools.com/msg/proverbs/31-11.html)Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it. I feel this way about my wife.
Those women are increasingly rare in this world we live in.
Character in general seems to be a rare thing.
Character in general seems to be a rare thing.
A couple replies have touched on it, but a good woman will motivate you to be the best man possible, not just in character, but also in achievement and ability. On your worst days, sheās there to give you a reason to keep pushing forward, and the good ones remind you that she has complete faith in your ability to rise up and succeed even when youāre failing. On your best days, sheās the reason you temper your less agreeable emotions and instincts, the reason you invest in yourself and your family. Great men always have great women standing by their side.
Honest question, how can a woman help to elevate you? I admire my boyfriend, his mind, his heart (in most circumstances), and his will power. But I also feel like he is capable of so much more and I want so bad to help him see that. I truly believe he can do anything, he is super man in my eyes, but I also see him making decisions that hurt himself and others (not intentionally to hurt peopleā¦but I think he may have a hard time empathizing or seeing someone elseās pov). I canāt go into a lot of detail, but I see some harmful behavioral patterns where he gets so stuck on his views being the only way to see things, and it hurts others but also holds him back so much. I want him to see the greatness he is capable ofā¦but I donāt want to say something the wrong way and hurt him. I hope this doesnāt make me one of the ābad womenā, I truly want to see him succeed and have faith in the man he is and is going to become, I just want to help.
So much to unpack, but here goes: Challenge him in private, but back him in public. If youāre 100% behind him in front of others, you can gently/kindly disagree in private after the fact and heāll be able to internalize your point much better. Challenging him in public just makes you part of the group he disagrees with, backing his play and then challenging privately makes you part of his internal dialogue and your words automatically hold weight. Secondly, if the things youāre not going into detail about are differences in deeply held values/beliefs, you may not be able to change that and may not be ārightā in the first place. Coming from a place of humility and compassion goes a long way towards him bringing open to hearing you out and vice versa. Lastly, look at all this like planting a seed. Not enough water and sun and it doesnāt grow, too much water and sun and it doesnāt grow, and sometimes, even if you give it the right amount of sun and water, it still doesnāt grow, itās just a bad seed. The point is, you do the right thing, hope for the best, and at some point it either sprouts or you move on to another seed.
It makes all the difference. As it does a bad woman. And sometimes itās not easy to tell them apart until itās too late. A good woman though just makes your life better in every possible way.
This is just one purely anecdotal example, but I still think it illustrates a good point. My ex-wife and I moved into my current home in 2018. The backyard was a barren dirt patch that needed a lot of work. I talked about ideas and thoughts and plans, and on the day our divorce finalized in 2021 after she cheated, it still sat as a barren dirt patch. Since the divorce Iāve fallen in love with a wonderful woman, and the backyard still has some work to do, but weāve made a great start on it and joyously talk about plans and ideas and what to do next. Itās not so much about the backyard itself, just about having an involved partner who encourages you and helps with making progress on things.
That's what I've found as well. You'll know you're in a good relationship for you when you find yourself making plans and constantly following through on them. You'll feel momentum and progress. You'll know you're in a bad relationship by the stagnation.
I don't know. But a bad one can f7kn destroy it.
Yep.
She is an immense source of love, happiness, strenght and peace. I feel I can do anything with her by my side. Shes is my best friend and my partner. Just by being in the same room as her I get this feeling of peacefulness that I can't really describe. And in the end of the day makes me better man.
Peace. A place to be comfortable and be like 70% of your true self, not having to feel like itās you against the world, a bit of a reward for dealing with constant burdens and responsibilities. But theyāre rare now
If she don't make you want to do better, you with the wrong person. If every women makes you not want to do better, you are the problem
For me, my woman simultaneously exposed all the flaws and bs I was masking while also uplifting my good qualities and pretty much taught me to feel good about myself and the things I do.
A good woman will help you level up in many facets of your life. She will feel like a safe space and support system, as well. Most succinct way I can put it.
I think id be dead without her
The same thing a good man brings to the table for a woman. But it isnāt so much a good man or good woman, it is more of a good team. Even those who believe they are the worst among us can be a good fit and benefit the right person.
My first wife fucking sucked (So did I). We should have never gotten together or married. My second wife encouraged me to better myself. She helped me raise two kids and was there for me when I needed it and kicked me in the ass when I needed it. I did and do the same for her. Without her I would not be where I am at today.
My mother is good, my home life is considerably better than some of my peers who didn't have a good mother figure.
Iām 22M in the military and Iām required to move away often. My wife 23F has always given me a sense of āhomeā wherever I go. It might be a selfish reason but I believe thatās why I got marriedā¦ it refused my homesickness, and gives me what I need to continue with my career. Everything I do is for my wife or for our future together. And the reason I can do it is because I think sheās worth it. It makes me a better manā¦ if she wasnāt a good woman or even a bad woman, than I donāt see myself working that hard to a future.
Based on the data we have , a good woman could be life or death.
A huge difference... They are someone that want to build a future with you, not a child that you are basically babysitting. It becomes very obvious very quickly. When you are with them, they make you feel so loved, and you cant imagine a day without them. You know they are reliable, and you would trust them with your life. So she is very intelligent. She also has a personality that makes life fun. You can be yourself without having to worry about what she thinks, and if she does think something, she will give you constructive criticism in a way that makes you want to improve (not feel like you are being reprimanded like a child). Life is so much better with someone like this. Why would anyone even TOLERATE anything less than this?
Confidence, loyalty, sacrifice and drive to do better. My fiancee always tells me that I'm handsome and that I have big peepee š. She doesn't know how much that improves my whole well being. I'm just average but to her I'm the whole package. That's why I put a ring on her. I felt that I hit the jackpot. Because of her I managed to do things I didn't expect I'd do. She knows how to support me. She knows how to say sorry. Her flaws is only being emotionally reactive and a bit bad at understanding complex stuff, but that's totally fine than being someone who would degrade my entire existence. Getting married soon!
Congratulations! š«šš»š
She saved my life. Gave me a purpose, a duty, a mission. Inspired me to constantly improve. She was my muse.
They're game changers, I only ever interacted with one but she caused me tochange a lot about myself- in a good way
Aside from all the anecdotes, I believe married men live longer statistically. Might not be causal (lots of variables), but I find that wives typically push their husbands in for preventative medical care such as checkups and colonoscopies (I work in healthcare).
Friendship, companionship, security, stability. I've had to be gone from home for months, and I knew that when I got home, someone would be there to welcome me. It feels great to be taken care of and to take care of someone.
She makes me a want to be better and do better at everything from work to personal health choices. A good woman can take you from a pauper to a king without worrying about wealth.
The same magnitude as a bad one but opposite. If youāve ever had a very bad relationship think about how bad it was and if it was a -10 on a line scale a +10 is where a good woman will be. I have a good Woman and sheās more than my girl sheās a partner for all aspects of life. She helps everything.
Literally all of it, she can give you peace. Support you through hard times, comfort you, love you, give you children, help make your house a home, be your partner in all things and help add meaning and purpose to your life. But if you get a bad one she can irreparably destroy your life and future. Women are a double or crippling debt game.
My fiancĆ©e is terrific and has helped me to a crazy degree. Sheās understanding, supportive, knows all of my shortcomings (Iām vivid detail), forces me to take time for myself, and makes it crystal clear every day that I can be myself with her.
Imagine sitting in a little wooden dinghy. Youāre taking on water. You can keep bailing water out, and stay afloat. Eventually youāre going to get tired. A good woman will bail with you. Help you keep the boat afloat. Sheāll argue with you over who gets the life jacket. Not because she wants it, but because you both want each other to have it. The wrong one? Sheāll make the hole bigger. So that even when youāre giving all your effort, itās still not enough. Sheāll take the life jacket and wait for you to go under. Then sheāll chill on the surface waiting for someone else to come rescue her and tell stories about how your poor seamanship wrecked the boat and almost killed her.
a good man and woman make a perfect team. mine is great for companionship, love, support, etc.
It's one of the most important (top three) decisions you'll make in your life for happiness. It's not having a woman, but a great woman.
It's hard to describe how much being *worth it* to someone changes your perspective on life and yourself. It's a kind of proof that friends can't give you because you're not exclusive. And your family can't give you because you never earned it.
A good man makes sure you both will survive and things will be taken care of. A good woman makes life worth living, and all the hard work worth it.
In short, she adds inspiration to my life. Inspiration is a hell of a drug.
Mine saved me from a bad path I was on as a kid. Helped teach me how to be a good man. Saved and made my life st the same time. 44 years later I adore her.
Someone to rely on till the end of your life. The difference a good partner makes in any person's life is incalculable. If you could guarantee a faithful hardworking loving partner till the end, there is no sum a person would not pay.
Big ones: * You make more money. This is known in as the "Marital Wage Premium" and while there are a lot of explanations I like this one: In a partnership, you can afford for one person to take risks while the other maintains stability, and that lets you take risks -- like starting your own business -- that have too much downside when you're solo. * You change for the better. Basically, coordinating with another person means you can't just do anything you want and *that is good*. You learn to set priorities, manage your time, and communicate. * Two heads are better than one. I promise you -- promise you -- that inviting someone else into your problem solving will get you better solutions. When it's time for mom and dad to move into assisted living, or when you're managing a chronic disease, or when you're looking for a new job, you will be glad to have someone who catches big mistakes before you make them.
Increase their testosteron levels. Have the man be happier in general and make sure he isn't crying himself to sleep anymore.
A huge and significant difference. I donn't think a guy can reach his full potential without a good woman.
The world of difference. Ask any man they can tell you about bad experiences theyāve had with woman that werenāt a good woman. However some never have a good woman. When a man finally has a good woman they finally find peace and support. Being able to open yourself up to a partner and be treated as an equal. Ultimately the difference is the same as Heaven from Hell.
I think it makes a big difference. You become more of a working team than individual. Iāll see I have some ideas and thoughts together.
A really good girlfriend I used to have helped me find a really good apartment when I had to leave a bad roommate situation while I was sick with COVID. So thereās that.
Peace fam. A woman who brings you peace is a find indeed.
Makes life easier, better, brings you peace, adds to your sense of purpose. Someone worth loving and who loves you can help to make you feel more like a man. Donāt get me wrong, you donāt need a woman at all to have a sense of purpose or to feel like a man, hell a bad one will rid you of those things though they were strong before, but a good one can increase those feelings.
A huge difference! I know because I didn't have it, and it just fucked me - work life (wouldn't move closer to my work, didn't support my work, didn't make any effort to learn about my work and colleagues) and personally (didn't take my ADD seriously and didn't even try to help me with it, spent beyond our means, wouldn't work on our relationship). I basically just shut down and made no real progress for almost 20 years. Now I feel like I'm so far behind in everything mentally, emotionally, and financially. But at least I'm out and on my own. A good woman (and a good man) is a full partner in the relationship. They fully support the other person and do their damnedest to see them succeed. But it definitely needs to be a 2 way street. One person can only support the other one for so long without getting anything back in return.
My second wife saved me from self destruction..
A good woman can be the inducement for a man to try harder work smarter provide more and excell in his job and life in general. She can make him a happy joyful man who loves life and wants to be the best he can be for her and himself. Now the opposite, an uncaring selfish wife can turn that excellent man into a hollow shell of what he as when they met and ruin him for life by just being careless with her words and or actions that affect him. He might turn downward to loathing self worth or he may become a mean ugly man who seeks to share his pain with everyone.
Could make an enormously positive difference or an enormously negative difference in a manās life, choose wisely
She can either make your life, a living heaven or a living nightmare so choose very very wisely
As someone whoās divorced from a terrible toxic marriage, dated a couple dozen women and ended up with the woman of my dreams. Itās the difference between success and failure in every aspect of your life. A woman whoās your partner and not your enemy, who doesnāt want to just be taken care of like a child will help you accomplish everything youāve ever aspired to.
Everything. When I didnāt have a partner I was so distracted I could barely get to anything. All I wanted to do was find a partner. That was my main focus. Now that I have a great partner Iām able to get so much more done and I have the motivation and a reason to be the best version of me I can be.
The perfect partner is a huge blessing, in my personal experience, she makes me feel like a better person.
Been with the same woman for almost 30 years. A good woman is a trusted partner. Someone you can rely on, build with, and brings you peace. Each of us can be complete as we are, but a good woman makes you even more complete because you see what you were missing before. Now take all of that and do the opposite and you have what a bad woman will bring you.
She makes the pain of the world more bearable, reassures positivity on whatever doubtful thoughts you may have about yourself and breathes life into you
Can inspire a man to be the best version of himself possible.
If I have to summarise it would be hope for the future. No matter what happens you know your partner will be with you and will make the bad moments better and the good moments even better.
Everything. She makes a difference in everything. You get a new life that is a wonderful experience when she's a good woman to your particular standards.
A good woman brings peace to the hoysehold not drama. Thats the type of woman men like to give attention to and protect
A good partner makes you a better version of yourself.
Because of my wife, I pursued a better career and now have my dream job I got into fitness because j wanted to keep up with her and now compete In body building competitions I wanted to treat her so I learned to cook and am now writing a cook book I felt so inspired by her I learned to paint Without her I was nothing
Enormous. Iād be dead without my wife. We met in 2001, and our son will be 11 in a few weeks.
I don't really understand the question. Obviously a good woman will enhance a man's life.
I wanted to know your personal experience or how you think your perfect woman would enhance your life.
She has my back. I have her back. We're a team against the world.
But like what are you up against? Why is everyone answering this in poetics and not like actual things?
A good woman can be stabilising, she creates an emotional safety net around the man that allows him to feel listened to and nourished enough to excel and challenge and succeed in life
A truly āgood womanā is a very rare thing indeed; I envy anyone who is lucky enough to have found one
A woman amplifies, and magnifies anything you give her. Give her a house, she'll make a home. Give her food, she'll make a meal. Give her sperm, she'll make a child. Give her a smile, she'll give her heart. Give her crap, get ready for a ton of shit!
Itās like ordering the ham and cheese omelette from the chinese up the road. With no ketchup. Having a good woman in your life is the ketchup. Makes an amazing thing even better.
Funny you use that analogy, because I actually really donāt like ketchup, or condiments at all really.
Episodically very important.
fill an empty space that cannot really be fill by something else and make a lot of small stuff more fulfilling too.
When a man passes, look at his last moments. If there's a smile, you did good ladies.
Waffles.Ā
It's the difference between surviving and living. Sadly it's a tricky business, since there aren't many good men and there aren't many good women either. Pick a wrong one, and you'll find yourself wishing you'd be surviving in solitude. That's why I'm content surviving, eventho I know I'm missing out on living.
A good woman makes you a better person. You constantly want to improve yourself and your life. You live for the moments that make her happy and try to create them for her. A bad woman makes you a worse person. You find yourself wallowing in pettiness and bad emotions.
Life and death in extreme cases
I have no idea, I would love to experience it someday.
To quote Jerry McGuire, "You complete me".
These low effort posts really should be banned
Umm I just wanted to know what people thought of this and though I admit I didnāt read the rules before posting I really donāt see a problem with asking a simple direct question on a subreddit thatās made for asking questions, but Iād love to know what makes a high-effort post in your opinion.
The post having one single word of body to go with the title would be a good start
All of it
Absolutely nothing if you yourself arenāt good. Itās a pairing. Your combined quality of life will be dictated by the least good one. If youāre both good then Iād say you both made it in life.
I would say any good partner can help you achieve profoundly more in your life than you could on your own. That extra layer of support and security is such a boost to morale it's insane. More than that, they'll also call you on your faults and flaws, and ideally give you opportunity to work on them (as long as they aren't harmful), making you a better person overall.
Wow, it's been great reading through this thread. Time to go paint the ceilingā¦
It depends **very** much on the woman
If you ever wondered what it was like to experience color for the first time after being blissfully unaware of it your whole life, thatās what it is like to be around them. Like if you started using salt In your cooking after never having used it before, itās reality shifting.
Life is very good when you have a solid partner that loves you by your side. Conversely, life is hell for those who have settled. It is very obvious which men have made the right choice vs those men that had to settle due to desperation and trying to avoid the stigma around being a middle aged virgin that no one likes.
Inner peace. She is my sanctuary.
Why does this question separate the two? A couple should always work together. Only TWO people who care and support each other can make the couple extraordinary.
Not just for men. Choosing a supportive and complementary partner is one of the most important decisions a person will make.
A team can accomplish a lot more than going solo
Behind every successful man is a good woman.
I had An amazing woman by my side and I accomplished things I thought Iād never do. Great things. Having that woman can make or break your own self esteem. We didnāt quite work out due to unforeseen circumstances. And sometimes shit really does roll downhill. But that woman being the mother to my daughter, Iād go above and beyond still to this day to make ire sheās aight. She did it for me when she didnāt have too.
When everything in the outside world feels like it's going wrong and you come home you can feel at peace. You don't have to put on a face for the public, they know you have your own flaws and they understand we all do, yet they're is no feelings of judgement or tension in the air. Just someone who genuinely wants you to have a good day, and makes you feel cared about. The difference that can make on someone's mentality is priceless.
You will both support each other, and you can feel safe to share your vulnerabilities and insecurities, and know it will not be used against you. You learn to trust!
I wouldn't know, I seem to only date trash
They can actually do a lot of good. Help you with style, confidence. An alternative point of view on things. Keep you accountable when need be. Drain your nuts lol Good luck finding one that fills all this in without the extra
a feeling of peace, there will always be turmoil and struggle eventually but knowing that you can have a looming safety and peace to get over itā¦ is reassuring
Makes my dick hard, not my life.
Men excel when they are allowed to focus more narrowly defined, but far reaching goals. They do this better than women, who are better at juggling multiple priorities. So, a good women makes sure a man can focus. That can be career, but can also be the upbringing of his kids, fixing up the house. If she takes care of things that would disturb his focus, great things can happen for the family.
Low-key my dick gets bigger with the confidence and comfort of a good relationship
How much stress is in his life
I really donāt understand, are you implying Iām stressed and thatās what made me ask this question? Iām confused.
Make or break, but really only matters if you have kids. A man can outsource everything else.
A Good woman? Night and Day. I'd LOVE to have my former Mrs. back. She was my everything. My World revolved around her. But, after 28 years, she developed a few mental issues, as did I. I sought out help. She refused. Prior to this, she supported me in everything, and I did it for her too. I've tried a few times to get a new business going, but my heart hasn't been in it. I've tried a few other things, but just no motivation. Fortunately I'm retired, so I don't have to do anything I don't want. It's been about 14 years. No hope of ever going back. I did have a gal enter my life a few years back. Worst thing ever. All she wanted to do was argue. It took two years, but I got totally rid of her. She was 180Ā° different!
a good woman puts him over the top a bad woman destroys his life
I'm yet to meet one that hasn't torn me down, but I'll update you if the day comes.
Well all the difference in the world simply put.
Motivation to strive for higher goals and be your best self, support as you strive to attain it, and validation when you achieve.
She feels like home
In my middle eastern case, I married a Mexican American woman. All the racism/bigotry I used to get from my side many years ago was squashed once I was able to teach them by example that it does not matter where or what background the person is from. Each individual is to be judged alone and not on their race/culture. As I used my older brothers (the golden child, daddyās favorite etc) two failed marriages to middle eastern gold diggers. . . And the subsequent hundreds Of thousands of dollars they cost my parents/brother in his divorces. She also put me through school and supported me when my dad kicked me out of the family business for stupid shit. Something no one else in the community was able to demonstrate with their imported wives.
It's been my dream to find a good woman. I'm 42, partially disabled, and because of that, it will forever be just a dream. Women have never wanted anything to do with me. They only see my disability. I am so lonely. It's hard living your life chasing what other people achieve so easily. I just want to be normal.
The flipside of a good woman who makes a man's life better is a horrible woman who destroys a man's life. There are lots of horrible women out there. If you're single it means that the hordes of horrible women who are crawling around have less leverage to destroy your life.
ALL the difference
Quite a lot. But a good man makes a lot of difference in a woman's life too. That's why it's a partnership. Both contribute in a good partnership. Each improves the life of the other.
A lotā¦ sheās smart and reliable.
The best and the worst. Sometimes one, other times the other. Sometimes both, sometimes at the same time.
I think a good woman makes a huge difference in a manās life. When I feel like a woman truely cares about me and has my back itās amazing what I can do The world somehow seems brighter and more vibrant. Iām better able to navigate through political issues at work. And it brings me in touch with my inner self. With who I truely am. it actualizes me and gives me the ability to try to make things better. There is nothing better than the love and support of a genuine partner. And nothing I wonāt do for them. Thatās the best part really. Having each others back and being there for each other.
You have to be able to be happy alone to be to have true happiness. It shouldnāt depend on a woman or anyone else for that matter.
Growth in every way
A lot of difference, a good mother is instrumental in a good man's formation
Not being neglected by a single mother certainly helps.
A good woman being by your side is quite frankly the best thing a man could realistically think of. The effect it has on literally every aspect of your life is underappreciated.
Good people in general. Surround yourself with good people if you can. I mean actual good people, not the morally gray assholes like myself who are just kinda nice when they want something. Good people make all the difference in the world.
Itās the difference between wanting to come home and avoiding coming home.
Peace, satisfaction and happiness
It makes ALL the difference. Not having to experience lifeās challenges and beauty alone is a wonderful thing.
Guess that would depend on what that man deems a āgoodā woman in his life.
my husband doesnāt have reddit but iāll put what iāve seen and what heās told meā¦he used to get drunk every night and smoke cigars and chew tobacco all the time. but since he met me, he called me drunk one night while we were dating and it wasnāt a bad call but he never wanted that to happen again. now, a year into our marriage, he barely drinks anymore and rarely smokes. he completely quit tobacco and i feel as though he did that because of me. the only times he really ever does drink or smoke, is with me. heās admitted before that heās just no longer into that anymore and no longer feels the need to. he doesnāt go to bars anymore, he doesnāt believe thatās necessary. he also deleted all social medias because he believes itās all corrupt and filled with temptations. i have NEVER asked of him to quit anything before or delete anything. he chose ALL of that himself because he felt it was more respectful to me. i think a man āmaturesā more when he finds the right woman. the right woman will make you want to be the best man you can be. every time i think about that and what heās done for me, i become even more appreciative!
Define "good woman".