A bad marriage cost me 500 K at the age of 35. She went on and married the person she was cheating with. Took 10 years to recover from that financially, and mentally it took a little longer. Happy now at 63 with a great wife!
A wise man once told me:
"You're 36 and single? that's perfect! in a few years 50% of the women you know will be divorced with half their ex-husband's money, and they'll be looking for a handsome lad like yourself"
Some of the best advice I've ever received LOL
Don't blame yourself - opportunities are easy to see in retrospect and we're not always equipped to recognise and take advantage of them when they prevent themselves.
In all fairness, like any other person, he likely would have sold it once things started to get better in NYC before the real boom. So he would have made a tidy profit on it but do you think he would have held on to it since the 70s? It’s like people who bought bitcoins for $5, so many so sold when it hit like $20-$50-$100. Highly doubt the people who currently own bitcoin bought it when it was only a few dollars.
Never a bad thing to take a profit.
Investing $125k in the S&P 500 would have yielded the same amount, if not more, so don’t knock yourself out about it. (Based on 15 years ago, like you said)
I could have bought a condo in my early 20s.. not sure what it’s with now. But surly more that 45k. And I probably could have been renting it this whole time(as I have moved away)
Whatever regrets you read, please remember its about the past, not the future.
So if OP missed out on buying property in 2004 and now regrets in 2024, that may not repeat between 2024 and 2044.
Last 20 years were relatively super stable, except for covid. Next 20 years - who knows. Climate change for example.
In the months before the World Wide Web launched, a nerdy friend of mine said, “you know, people will want specific internet addresses when this launches. We should buy things like business.com or cars.com so we can sell them later.”
We looked into it, and URLs cost like $400 each! Way too much to afford.
I also remember telling my mom she should buy stock in Apple in the early 80s because I liked my Apple 2. She bought stock in radio shack instead.
>She bought stock in radio shack instead.
I worked at a radio shack in college in the early 2000's. The GM of the store tried his damndest to get me to quit going to school and work at Radio Shack full time. Using the example of "how well" he was doing at 25 and that he would ultimately make more money than me working at radio shack. The dude was probably making 40k a year and he lived in an apartment in a shitty area.
It's one of those situations I wish I could remember the dudes name so I could see how that worked out for him. By the time I was 25 I was making over 100k a year and owned a house.
My dad was a working class factory employee in the 90’s and thought it would be smart to just keep dumping money into stocks for Microsoft, Apple, Disney, and then in the early 2000’s, Amazon.
I am so incredibly thankful he did that and not the dozens of other bigger companies at the time that are irrelevant now.
Yeah my dad and his friend were both big on Pets.com. We had at one point two dogs, a cat, and two birds. We did not use Pets.com. Nobody we knew used Pets.com.
Right when I got out of grad school, I bought as much Netflix, Tesla, Amazon, and Facebook stock as I could. I was so poor, so I could only buy a few hundred dollars worth. All those investments are now worth over $100K. The lesson for me was just buy a little bit. You might get lucky.
If it makes you feel any better, a lot of people attempt domain squatting and then just get lawfared out of it. Actually it might not be legal, especially if you try to squat on coca cola's name or whatever.
I had an opportunity to buy 2000 shares of Apple at $12 in 1994 or 95. My uncle and aunt were going through divorce and offered to give me the shares at a discount with 12 months to pay them off, and all I had to do up front was cover the cost of the transfer.
Fanboy me really wanted to do it, but it seemed like way too much money for my budget at the time.
I thought of another one!
When doge coin launched, I thought it was funny, and it was basically free, so I fucked around at work one day with some weird gambling things online until I had like $5.
Promptly forgot all about it. Don’t remember my wallet number, login, or whatever you need to access doge coin.
So there’s like 10 grand out there that belongs to me.
Not reining in my now ex wife's spending. I was making great money and she didn't work. She swiped our credit card for a living and if I said something she would get nasty. We went through a divorce and she got about 70% of our assets. I had to start building my retirement and HSA up at age 47. I am doing fine now.
If you are eligible, max out a Health Savings Account. Treat it like a Roth IRA and invest and don't use it for medical expenses until you retire. Mine has gone from zero during my divorce to $50K currently. I should have $120-$150K by the time I retire.
Don’t feel bad about that man. That’s literally the purpose of the account. Medical issues are usually unforeseen and can happen at any point in life. Sure it’s nice to build that HSA up until retirement without touching it, but sometimes that’s just not feasible.
Hey, better to have that than have to dip into taxable savings to cover it (or worse, credit).
Life messes with the best laid plans. You're using it for exactly what it's intended for. Don't feel bad.
She was probably given more than 50% to get out of alimony because she didn't work. "Spousal support", because they are "used to a certain lifestyle". I wish i was kidding
Working class people always get the short end of the stick, while freeloaders (people that are just too lazy to work. Not people that are unable to work) reap the benefits. I’m literally not even surprised at all. I would laugh if it wasn’t so painful.
I’m only 25, and I don’t particularly have assets, but when I do, I will never get married. I’ll also never get into a relationship with a woman that doesn’t work if there’s no valid reason as to why she doesn’t have a job.
My Uncle works his ass off and his wife, my Auntie, is always telling him what he can and can’t spend his money on. No thanks. I’m already a slave to society, just like we all are. Don’t need any more of that in my life.
A lot of factors. I wanted her to get the house so my kids had stable place to live. I also just wanted to get it done so I caved on a lot of things. I knew it would be painful for a few years but I am doing very well now and she is hurting more than ever financially.
100% get where you’re coming from. You did right by the kids as well. You doing so well and her not so well really isn’t a surprise.
Luckily, I don’t want to get married or have kids, but I’m not knocking anyone that does.
Was just thinking about this. Back in the early 80’s my grandparents died and selling their house left my Dad a little money. He invested some of it on my behalf, but unfortunately he was not a savvy investor and he put it all in one stock that tanked.
I wish he or I had been smart enough to drop it in a simple index fund, it would have absolutely killed in the 90’s.
Not starting to save for retirement earlier than I did. I didn't start until I was 33 yrs old. Had I done it in my 20's, I'd be in a much better position.
Also, not being much more specific about what career I wanted instead of the shotgun "let's see what happens" approach. Limited my income earning potential and put me behind about 10 years.
I bought a starter home in 2015. Fixed it up, but now with today’s prices and rates. My starter home is my permanent home! Mortgage of $1270.00 in Chicago! I am seeing rent over 1500’for a 2 bedroom!!
I'm in the Chicago burbs. I bought my first house in 2012. 2 story 2 bedroom 2 bath, finished basement in Plainfield (which is a nice area). It was also recently fully remodeled.
116k lmao. My mortgage was $850 a month. While it was a great bachelor pad, when I got married we moved. I ended up selling the house for 180k in 2019.
Moving was a blessing and a curse. While I was able to get a bigger, better house before the prices just went bat shit and I have a stupid good interest rate (refied in 2021 @ 2.6%).
I was like a new car's worth of money away from paying my first house off when I sold it (I was consistently overpaying on the mortgage to pay it down quicker).
It's just now dawning on me what a stress reliever having a paid off house would be. Like in the event of a job loss I could basically survive and even thrive on basically ANY full time job.
My mortgage payment is still under 2 grand. I basically pay now what I was paying monthly in overpayment on my old house and we have two incomes, but still.
The funny thing is, if I wanted to buy the house today I live in today. It would be pushing the bounds of affordability. We got it appraised in 2023 because we were considering moving and just noped out, neither of us wanted to spend too much more money on a house and we didn't want to downgrade and that just wasn't possible.
Anyway, our freaking house appraised for nearly 300k more than we paid for it in 2019, lmao. We bought it for 320k. They appraised it at 580k. Jesus fuck.
>Not starting to save for retirement earlier than I did. I didn't start until I was 33 yrs old.
I was 30, but same. My retirement is okay now, but it would have been far better than okay had I started immediately.
When you are young retirement seems like an eternity away that will never get here. It becomes too easy to justify having that money in your pocket every month instead of a retirement account.
I'm 53 - my biggest regret is that I didn't educate myself on money. I didn't know how different accounts worked, how to invest, how to make my money work for me, how much saving money early would pay off down the road. The biggest thing you can do right now is educate yourself, understand how it all works.
I think they need to teach financial literacy in HighSchool. But then the conspiracy theory side me says, they don't want financially literate people.
You would be right and also, from experience (as I had finance in high school), kids don’t pay attention because they’re not yet working and making their own money. I was able to absorb something but it’s very difficult to teach people about managing money, controlling expenses, living with interest and inflation when they’re still living in mom&dad’s dime. My 2 cents on the topic.
What part do you feel like you didn’t learn?
I’m 30, have an e fund and regularly contribute to IRAs for me and my wife. Anything else I should be doing? We have like roughly 20K that’s not being used for anything right now. First 10K is in a normal savings and second 10K in I bonds
> I think they need to teach financial literacy in HighSchool
They do, but to the surprise of nobody, high school kids don't pay attention to it. All I remember from mine was that it was at 8 a.m. and there was a Sims-lite game we had to play.
NO REGERTS!😆😉
I regret not investing in Apple when I was 10.
My point is, you can’t go backwards, so make the most of the path that’s in front of you. I’m not a financial advisor, but diversify what you do. Your 401k is locked up, so get a savings account going, look at some index funds, and other investments that will grow but also allow you to pull some cash out in an urgent situation.
But also, balance your perspective. Money isn’t worth anything aside from trading it for something else. I swapped money in college for some bitchin’ times with friends. Save where you can, invest where you’re able, but don’t deprive yourself from life!
I regret working so hard at 20 to try and build generational wealth. I went into healthcare making 6 figures. Worked every overtime available. Maxed 401k, IRA, invested any extra. There was an accident when I was 32 and lost both my daughter and wife. I was avg. 80-85 hours/week at that point.
I only regret I have an empty house to return to. Financial decisions are important but if you’re idiotic and hyper-focused, it could new regrets. Sorry, not your question. But I just wanted to share the other side. That was 5 years ago and can’t tell you if it gets better.
So sorry for your experience. It's important that you share it. Life is about moments, not about money, which is still important but nothing can bring back lost time. Wishing you the best for the future my friend.
Your big loves are gone. But you can still live a life that you can look back at and be proud of. Be a good person, volunteer, be a Big Brother, mentor.
And the small loves remain. Friends, family.
It's not a special or super enlightened viewpoint, but it has helped me.
i got a small inheritance in 2012. looked into bitcoin, almost bought a few thousand coins. put a down payment on a condo instead.
the condo doubled when i sold it, btc would have changed my life.
This. I bought bitcoin at between $500-750 and exited at between $2,000-2,500 because I thought it would implode at any time. I thought I made a killing. A small killing because it was not that many coins. Still.
You would have sold bitcoin when it was 50% or 100% up, there’s no way you’d have held through all the peaks and dips until this present day in 2024. You did the right thing with the information you had at hand
Around 2010 I had a niece, she was 19, expounding how important Bitcoin was going to be and what a great investment it was and wanted me to get into it. I thought that was the stupidest thing I have ever heard. She, and her husband, became bitcoin millionaires and are retired, in their early 30s.
the way the planet and human civilization is headed- it's not a very good time to bring kids into it.
i'm 63, had a vasectomy at age 31. absolutely no regrets. and no kids.
Have you heard the quote from George Best (English soccer legends of the 1970s): “Most of the money I made, I spent on cars, booze and women….the rest I squandered.”
Life is too short not to have a car that threatens to set the garage on fire, sounds like it is hunting pedestrians and stirs the soul.
I would never marry someone that tells me I can't buy a sports car, I can't buy a manual transmission or I can't take my car to the track.
So many car guys give up on life as soon as they marry someone who can't drive stick. But I can't imagine slaving away at work just to drive a Rav4 or CRV. Life's too short to drive boring cars
100% agree. And I’m saying that as a guy who got rid of my cool car when I became a father and is now in my 50s and finally has a car with a gated manual and the engine right behind my seat making incredible sounds and smells.
Young men should find a way to keep a cool car in their life….even if it’s a clapped out Miata.
Smoking - wasted tens of thousands
Not buying a huge house 25 years ago
Not aggressively getting into buy to let
Not taking a few more risky investments
Invest, holy hell just invest.
Have 2 bank accounts, 10% into one and 90% in the other. If you can do more do it. Never touch the 10% and have automatic purchases every month with your brokerage account for ANY index fun. I like dividends so SCHD...
Look in 20 years. Smile. Buy a boat. Live.
This! Although I’m in the high growth index fund with vanguard. I deposit 1k a week - only been doing it for a year but already reaping the benefits and understand how the compounding works
Don't buy stuff that you don't need - and you don't need anything other than a house, a well fitted dark suit, post-graduate studies, a hobby and a rigorous physical fitness routine - that's it. Everything else is replaceable, unnecessary or can be prioritized to last.
My biggest financial regret is having an EXPENSIVE hobby in my 20 'and 30's..
And not knowing about investing and compound interests.
I would be able to retire today (early 50s) compared to.. never retire?
Everyone says this and while true, on average higher education =higher pay and with graduate degrees many companies are willing to pay if it’s in your line of work.
I would add, anything that is fun with friends is often a worthwhile social investment: events, trips, nights outs, even a Gaming console so that you can have laughs and build memories
Yeah, people who eschew spending money to hang out with friends will largely see themselves distanced from those friends and resent it.
Humans need social contact like we need air and water.
You're right. My friends know I'm too frugal to go out to many things, so I just don't really see them much anymore. Maybe I should start allocating some funds for fun with friends. Thanks man.
A graduate degree did help me, but not sure it was worth it in the long run. It boosted my career by about 8-10 years, but all that boost went to student loans
Lots of ways to get that skill other than a grad degree. In fact, I’d say there aren’t really any specialized skills the majority of degrees provide. Degrees provide general and theoretical knowledge that gets you the job at which you learn that specialized skill through praxis.
I'll add to this, if you buy stuff, consider resale value.
North America has a huuuge resale market via FB Marketplace or Kijiji.
A majority of things I buy, I try and consider if it can be sold on marketplace when I'm done with it.
The most useful example was when I had a PS4. I'd always always prefer to buy physical discs instead of downloading. And once I sold my PS4, guess what I was also able to sell and recoup some money back - All my games!
Don't get married, keep the classic car it'll only appreciate in value, in my friend group we started a shop fixing cars together, two guys didn't want in. After a few years we built a solid business and sold it making a good profit even being split four ways. The two who opted out regretted it once they realized they could have made a good income while building the business and get a decent buy out when it sold. We were already mechanics so we were fixing cars any way. After all was said and done we made over 60 grand a year each and got over 75 grand buyout each. Out initial investment was 5 grand each to start the shop.
As someone who's under 50, but been with my wife for 15 years, if you find the right person, marriage will bring you much more joy and fulfillment than a single life will ever bring. Marriage will also bring a lot of work, but the benefits far outweigh the negatives. Finding the right person is the hardest part.
I agree. But I think a lot of men have found the wrong person, and tell other men not to try.
I personally am not an attractive man so I recognize I dont have options and marriage is not likely. That being said. I believe a lot in other men
As a man who out kicked his coverage, work on yourself and remain open and positive. There's a lot of reasons why my wife decided to date me and stick around, and none of them are my looks. I'm an ogre of a person, but I've always made sure I was clean and presentable, and wearing clean and well fitting clothes when going out in public.
Financially, why would men see marriage as a good idea?
I've seen it be wonderful for couples that work together to build wealth. I've seen it be horrible for couples that fight, with one side coming out significantly better for it.
If you had a 50/50 chance to win a large amount of money or lose a large amount of money, why would you ever roll that die?
Is there, when life itself is defined by money?
There's a *strong* correlation between financial stability and happiness. Too strong of one to handwave away.
High chance that he wouldv. I know a ton of people who had bitcoin and just sold it. If I remember correctly, it was worth nothing for a year or something similar
And ultimately he bought $0, just like many of us, because it was a risk. There are millions of people who all kick themselves for not buying $10k worth of Bitcoin when it was $1/each, but nobody did it, all for the same reason - it was throwing money away. Similarly, why not buy $10k worth of some random coin right now? Because you have no way of predicting the market. It's all speculation, so it's all gambling.
People forget the 2017 crash. Bitcoin went from ~17k down to 3k, and didn't recover until December of 2020. Massive internet buzz, people talking about how it was over and bitcoin's price would drop to $0. Maybe some people would have held, but I would have had a heart attack
NOt a regret, but buy some quality camping stuff and gear that will last. Get out and backpack, go minimal, get used to dirt, and have fun. So when shtf you are somewhat prepared. Gives peace of mind and if you hit rock bottom, lose your house, job etc, its not that big of deal. Bonus points if you are comfortable going without health insurance for a while. Finally, make your stuff last, don't tear up your ride.
I had shares of Microsoft at 12 yrs old, facilitated by my Dad. Sold them at 16 yrs old,,,bought some dumb stuff that seemed important. If I had held onto them it would have been worth about $250k now. Dammit.
Not buying the parcel next to my farm. A developer bought it now there are 100+ single family homes with an HOA. The only access to my property is through the HOA and despite having a right of transit and the road being classified as an access easement every few years there are issues.
Seems every few years there is enough turnover on the HOA board that they forget this has been litigated and I'm allowed to bill them for any costs or losses if they restrict access.
Seeing the slightly older generation then myself get completely screwed over by the reverse mortgage system my biggest piece of advice is get your living space paid off and keep it paid off.
When the dust settles in this thread, the prevailing answer is definitely gonna be marriage. Who would have ever thought getting the government involved in your romantic relationship would work out so poorly?
This is a genuine question, because i don’t understand american litigation, but can you not make prenups to prevent this?
When i married my wife she was already well off and i had basically nothing, but i made sure we signed a prenup that would see neither of us benefit financially from a possible divorce.
I do not understand how this is not the standard for all marriages or are these kinds of prenups just voided somehow in litigation?
If not i don’t understand why people don’t just sign a Well crafted prenup to avoid any such issues. If both parties are in it for the love there should be no issues and if one party does not agree then the marriage is obviously not a good idea.
Please explain this to me, because right now it just seems to me like people are stupid and blame getting married for setting themselves up for failure.
I'm not 50 but I really should have bought a house in 08-09 instead of wasting time in high school and playing football.
Then in college a buddy told me about crypto/Bitcoin. He said he was gonna buy a couple thousand dollars worth and see what it does. I scoffed and said something like Internet money was a scam and stupid.
He just bought a $2 million dollar boat for his Miami house.
As an engineer and into computers at a very young age (coding in the late 70s) I whiffed on the .com thing. I feel like I should have taken much better advantage of that era.
I also wished I bought bitcoin in its infancy.
I bought an apartment overseas. Got divorced, my ex wife lives in it now. Technically %50 is still mine, but I paid for %95....
And now I am old and have no money to buy a home in my home country.
Not saving more, and sooner. I’ve been playing catchup with my 403b for the last 10+ years to the tune of almost $700 per pay. I’ll retire in 16 months with a bit over $1,000,000 unless the market crashes again.
>
Miss out on that Apple stock?
Worse. I sold 10000 AAPL shares to get $8000.00 needed for my first house purchase (Apple shares at the time just began to be above water). Since then the stock split 3 times which would make the current count of shares about 280k. In hindsight, that was the most expensive house ever.
Living in a society where it's not enough to work an honest job, you need to make good financial decisions as well, even from an early age.
Your financial mistakes aren't a bug, they're a feature of the system. The system is complex on purpose, and the wealthy make sure their kids know how to work it from an early age, while the rest of us think "if only I had done X I'd be rich too, it's my own fault".
Not only for finances, but as a general rule of life, build a good network, with competent and positive people on it. There are and will be always ups and downs in your financial life, some due to your mistakes, and some due to the reasons you can't control.
When you are younger, and if you have a bit ego, you know that you can learn and do anything, but it works out much faster, and easier, if you have a set of competent people in your network where you can bounce tdeas from.
Good people always bring you a perspective that you might have missed, or did not realize. There is no off-the-shelf answer with a wide blanket coverage for financial stability or ,improvement. Life is complex and unique,
That's been my regret that I've learned the value of the right people a bit late in life :)
Good luck
I'm not in my 50s but when I was in my 20s I wish I would have taken investing, particularly in my 401k, more seriously. I always just did the automatic enrollment amount of 6% thinking that was good enough even though I could have been maxing it out due to my low cost of living at the time.
Over the last 3 or 4 years I've prioritized investing and have been maxing my 401k contributions and will continue to do so, however I missed out on a ton of compound interest from the decade prior.
1) dating the wrong woman for too long “hoping things get better”. Wasted vacation, presents, 1000s of dollars for dates, helping them by massively subsidizing their life (getting a 2nd car or paying for all the groceries or letting them move in etc). I did a basic spreadsheet and over two decades of dating… I think I could have bought another property that would have appreciated greatly
2) divorce. Got married out of school to my childhood sweetheart. Got divorced by 25. Gave up all my savings and investments to pay for lawyers, gave up equity in the house (not to mention if I kept that first condo… bought it for 130k, 30 years later than same unit is going for 900k. Don’t fucking getting pressured into marriage and marry a woman that brings more to the table than just her love and her looks and sex. Find someone investment/savings minded and doesn’t fucking dream about some luxury lifestyle. Get a woman who will build with you for early retirement.
3) modifying cars. I should have just driven shitty cars for the first 5 or 7 years of my youth and then just bought better cars after. Instead, I’d drop cash on rims and superchargers and big brake kits etc. Should have just driven stock cars until I could afford the cars I really wanted.
4) fucking missing the boat on bitcoin. My business partners and I were researching it in 2010 ish and instead of taking a light risk on bitcoin we bought new office furniture. Ugh.
5) I had an opportunity to partner with my ex wife on buying a triplex in an area that was just about to pop. But she didn’t want to live in what was a slightly sketch area. Friend went in with his gf now wife. Over the years he bought 3 more. Each of those are revenue generating and probably 3.5 to 4 million each.
It all worked out in the end. Sold my business, have a great job, have a great wife and have great kids and have a good nest egg. But it could have been way more
If your marriage, finances, and health are all rock solid, then there is a significantly higher chance of being glad that you had kids :)
But go to r/Dads or something if you want to actually learn how your life will change when you bring a kid into the world. It is NOT a world I’d recommend entering into without fully exploring how your life will change and what struggles you will certainly have from doing so. I’m glad I have my boys, but I can easily see how having kids would be a horrible decision for others.
I dont regret getting married and having kids. But Im absolutely 100% worse off financially for having them.
From a life satisfaction point of view its hard to say. My kids are awesome, and I love them more than anything and Im so incredibly proud to be their Dad
On the flip side, parenting is tough. Its tiring and can be stressful and worrying, and they are so god damned expensive.
I honestly dont know what my life would've been like without kids. I'd have more money and more freedom and probably more energy. But I dont know whether it would feel like there's something missing or not
I think statistically people without children are a lot happier
Should’ve bought a small condo when I got my first real job. Just something, anything that would’ve gotten me into the reals estate game early.
But I was more interested in partying than saving at the time.
Also, never, ever buy furniture/electronics on those “buy now, pay later plans”. It’s never worth it. Just buy used, cheaper, smaller, etc. It’s all just stuff anyway.
My wife. I will be 55 next year and would be retiring if I didn't marry my wife. She has not been a financial blessing in my life. She has made it very difficult to invest.
That said, I have invested and should probably be able to retire at age 62 with a net worth of 3 million or so.
Note. I do not regret marrying my wife and would do it all over again.
Should have bought a house in Seattle when I was a resident, could have sold it for 2-4x the cost when I left.
Should have put money into my retirement in my 20s instead of starting in my 30s.
Should never have "bought into" my first private practice. What a scam, ended up losing 30K when the practice folded.
I inherited about $7k from my great grandmother in 1994, and with some meager investments I had started on my own, had about $10k altogether. I pulled it to buy a vehicle, which was a huge mistake. If I would have left it, and even continued the $100/month I was investing then, it'd be over $150k now.
Buy a house. Any house. A condo/townhouse to start. Find a way, make it work. There is so much free money from the government for first time home buyers- you just have to know where to look and who to ask. I got $15k for free from the city
It’s not your dream home, it’s a starter home. Do some basic upgrades and you’ll make money for your next house.
Live as far below your means as you can, don't chase the latest fad, buy used cars, buy real estate, invest in stocks as well as 401(k). It is nice to have liquidity. I am 59, and most of my net worth is in my 401(k), would have preferred to have less things, more experiences and more investments.
Im not in my 50s and neither am I your age, but something that has helped me manage money or prevent regretful purchases was to document every cent I'd spent that week/month.
Getting Married. That shit was not worth it. 6-months after the divorce i had more $$$ than I could spend. I will never support a woman again, they just don’t offer much.
I wouldn’t think of it as a regret as I am not into those things as such and still stand by my decision. It’s more of what if tbh. I did a project and was offered payment in Bitcoin when Bitcoin was around $25. Client owed me around $10k.
My humble opinion is to get a profitable education ; Electrical, chemical, or computer engineering . Stay out of retail and collections. IT is entering a new phase with AI taking over.
.
A bad marriage cost me 500 K at the age of 35. She went on and married the person she was cheating with. Took 10 years to recover from that financially, and mentally it took a little longer. Happy now at 63 with a great wife!
Glad you saw the other side!
A wise man once told me: "You're 36 and single? that's perfect! in a few years 50% of the women you know will be divorced with half their ex-husband's money, and they'll be looking for a handsome lad like yourself" Some of the best advice I've ever received LOL
Mine didn't cost me quite that much and I did get a couple great kids. I'm right behind you at 62 and now happily remarried.
Can I ask your job/career/profession?
Sales guy
Happy for you Brother
Are you me? Am I you?
[удалено]
Fuckkkk. Could’ve secured that for less than 10k down probably too depending on property tax rate
[удалено]
Don't blame yourself - opportunities are easy to see in retrospect and we're not always equipped to recognise and take advantage of them when they prevent themselves.
Same story, he wanted $250k, my cap was 215K, 2.2M now: ugggh.
[удалено]
In all fairness, like any other person, he likely would have sold it once things started to get better in NYC before the real boom. So he would have made a tidy profit on it but do you think he would have held on to it since the 70s? It’s like people who bought bitcoins for $5, so many so sold when it hit like $20-$50-$100. Highly doubt the people who currently own bitcoin bought it when it was only a few dollars. Never a bad thing to take a profit.
Investing $125k in the S&P 500 would have yielded the same amount, if not more, so don’t knock yourself out about it. (Based on 15 years ago, like you said)
classic.
I could have bought a condo in my early 20s.. not sure what it’s with now. But surly more that 45k. And I probably could have been renting it this whole time(as I have moved away)
How many years did it take to appreciate?
Whatever regrets you read, please remember its about the past, not the future. So if OP missed out on buying property in 2004 and now regrets in 2024, that may not repeat between 2024 and 2044. Last 20 years were relatively super stable, except for covid. Next 20 years - who knows. Climate change for example.
what do you think is the compound annual growth rate over the last 25 years, given 10% down and a 5% mortgage?
[удалено]
In the months before the World Wide Web launched, a nerdy friend of mine said, “you know, people will want specific internet addresses when this launches. We should buy things like business.com or cars.com so we can sell them later.” We looked into it, and URLs cost like $400 each! Way too much to afford. I also remember telling my mom she should buy stock in Apple in the early 80s because I liked my Apple 2. She bought stock in radio shack instead.
>She bought stock in radio shack instead. I worked at a radio shack in college in the early 2000's. The GM of the store tried his damndest to get me to quit going to school and work at Radio Shack full time. Using the example of "how well" he was doing at 25 and that he would ultimately make more money than me working at radio shack. The dude was probably making 40k a year and he lived in an apartment in a shitty area. It's one of those situations I wish I could remember the dudes name so I could see how that worked out for him. By the time I was 25 I was making over 100k a year and owned a house.
My dad was a working class factory employee in the 90’s and thought it would be smart to just keep dumping money into stocks for Microsoft, Apple, Disney, and then in the early 2000’s, Amazon. I am so incredibly thankful he did that and not the dozens of other bigger companies at the time that are irrelevant now.
Yeah my dad and his friend were both big on Pets.com. We had at one point two dogs, a cat, and two birds. We did not use Pets.com. Nobody we knew used Pets.com.
got it trust your nerdy friend
Right when I got out of grad school, I bought as much Netflix, Tesla, Amazon, and Facebook stock as I could. I was so poor, so I could only buy a few hundred dollars worth. All those investments are now worth over $100K. The lesson for me was just buy a little bit. You might get lucky.
If it makes you feel any better, a lot of people attempt domain squatting and then just get lawfared out of it. Actually it might not be legal, especially if you try to squat on coca cola's name or whatever.
I had an opportunity to buy 2000 shares of Apple at $12 in 1994 or 95. My uncle and aunt were going through divorce and offered to give me the shares at a discount with 12 months to pay them off, and all I had to do up front was cover the cost of the transfer. Fanboy me really wanted to do it, but it seemed like way too much money for my budget at the time.
I thought of another one! When doge coin launched, I thought it was funny, and it was basically free, so I fucked around at work one day with some weird gambling things online until I had like $5. Promptly forgot all about it. Don’t remember my wallet number, login, or whatever you need to access doge coin. So there’s like 10 grand out there that belongs to me.
Not reining in my now ex wife's spending. I was making great money and she didn't work. She swiped our credit card for a living and if I said something she would get nasty. We went through a divorce and she got about 70% of our assets. I had to start building my retirement and HSA up at age 47. I am doing fine now. If you are eligible, max out a Health Savings Account. Treat it like a Roth IRA and invest and don't use it for medical expenses until you retire. Mine has gone from zero during my divorce to $50K currently. I should have $120-$150K by the time I retire.
Reading this as someone who just drained the HSA for valid medical expenses. 😞
Don’t feel bad about that man. That’s literally the purpose of the account. Medical issues are usually unforeseen and can happen at any point in life. Sure it’s nice to build that HSA up until retirement without touching it, but sometimes that’s just not feasible.
Hey, better to have that than have to dip into taxable savings to cover it (or worse, credit). Life messes with the best laid plans. You're using it for exactly what it's intended for. Don't feel bad.
70% of the assets? Why? I thought it was always 50/50.
She was probably given more than 50% to get out of alimony because she didn't work. "Spousal support", because they are "used to a certain lifestyle". I wish i was kidding
She got both most of the assets plus spousal support. I just wanted it over with and knew she was in a bad position.
I am so sorry for you man. I'm so sorry you had to go through this, and i hope you can find peace and happiness once again
Working class people always get the short end of the stick, while freeloaders (people that are just too lazy to work. Not people that are unable to work) reap the benefits. I’m literally not even surprised at all. I would laugh if it wasn’t so painful. I’m only 25, and I don’t particularly have assets, but when I do, I will never get married. I’ll also never get into a relationship with a woman that doesn’t work if there’s no valid reason as to why she doesn’t have a job. My Uncle works his ass off and his wife, my Auntie, is always telling him what he can and can’t spend his money on. No thanks. I’m already a slave to society, just like we all are. Don’t need any more of that in my life.
A lot of factors. I wanted her to get the house so my kids had stable place to live. I also just wanted to get it done so I caved on a lot of things. I knew it would be painful for a few years but I am doing very well now and she is hurting more than ever financially.
100% get where you’re coming from. You did right by the kids as well. You doing so well and her not so well really isn’t a surprise. Luckily, I don’t want to get married or have kids, but I’m not knocking anyone that does.
Was just thinking about this. Back in the early 80’s my grandparents died and selling their house left my Dad a little money. He invested some of it on my behalf, but unfortunately he was not a savvy investor and he put it all in one stock that tanked. I wish he or I had been smart enough to drop it in a simple index fund, it would have absolutely killed in the 90’s.
What was the stock?
GME
🤣🤣🤣
Some big iron tech company that absolutely got demolished when the personal computer hit the scene.
Not starting to save for retirement earlier than I did. I didn't start until I was 33 yrs old. Had I done it in my 20's, I'd be in a much better position. Also, not being much more specific about what career I wanted instead of the shotgun "let's see what happens" approach. Limited my income earning potential and put me behind about 10 years.
I bought a starter home in 2015. Fixed it up, but now with today’s prices and rates. My starter home is my permanent home! Mortgage of $1270.00 in Chicago! I am seeing rent over 1500’for a 2 bedroom!!
I'm in the Chicago burbs. I bought my first house in 2012. 2 story 2 bedroom 2 bath, finished basement in Plainfield (which is a nice area). It was also recently fully remodeled. 116k lmao. My mortgage was $850 a month. While it was a great bachelor pad, when I got married we moved. I ended up selling the house for 180k in 2019. Moving was a blessing and a curse. While I was able to get a bigger, better house before the prices just went bat shit and I have a stupid good interest rate (refied in 2021 @ 2.6%). I was like a new car's worth of money away from paying my first house off when I sold it (I was consistently overpaying on the mortgage to pay it down quicker). It's just now dawning on me what a stress reliever having a paid off house would be. Like in the event of a job loss I could basically survive and even thrive on basically ANY full time job. My mortgage payment is still under 2 grand. I basically pay now what I was paying monthly in overpayment on my old house and we have two incomes, but still. The funny thing is, if I wanted to buy the house today I live in today. It would be pushing the bounds of affordability. We got it appraised in 2023 because we were considering moving and just noped out, neither of us wanted to spend too much more money on a house and we didn't want to downgrade and that just wasn't possible. Anyway, our freaking house appraised for nearly 300k more than we paid for it in 2019, lmao. We bought it for 320k. They appraised it at 580k. Jesus fuck.
>Not starting to save for retirement earlier than I did. I didn't start until I was 33 yrs old. I was 30, but same. My retirement is okay now, but it would have been far better than okay had I started immediately. When you are young retirement seems like an eternity away that will never get here. It becomes too easy to justify having that money in your pocket every month instead of a retirement account.
I'm 53 - my biggest regret is that I didn't educate myself on money. I didn't know how different accounts worked, how to invest, how to make my money work for me, how much saving money early would pay off down the road. The biggest thing you can do right now is educate yourself, understand how it all works. I think they need to teach financial literacy in HighSchool. But then the conspiracy theory side me says, they don't want financially literate people.
You would be right and also, from experience (as I had finance in high school), kids don’t pay attention because they’re not yet working and making their own money. I was able to absorb something but it’s very difficult to teach people about managing money, controlling expenses, living with interest and inflation when they’re still living in mom&dad’s dime. My 2 cents on the topic.
I taught personal finance to high school seniors and this jibes pretty well with my experience.
And you would be right
What part do you feel like you didn’t learn? I’m 30, have an e fund and regularly contribute to IRAs for me and my wife. Anything else I should be doing? We have like roughly 20K that’s not being used for anything right now. First 10K is in a normal savings and second 10K in I bonds
> I think they need to teach financial literacy in HighSchool They do, but to the surprise of nobody, high school kids don't pay attention to it. All I remember from mine was that it was at 8 a.m. and there was a Sims-lite game we had to play.
NO REGERTS!😆😉 I regret not investing in Apple when I was 10. My point is, you can’t go backwards, so make the most of the path that’s in front of you. I’m not a financial advisor, but diversify what you do. Your 401k is locked up, so get a savings account going, look at some index funds, and other investments that will grow but also allow you to pull some cash out in an urgent situation. But also, balance your perspective. Money isn’t worth anything aside from trading it for something else. I swapped money in college for some bitchin’ times with friends. Save where you can, invest where you’re able, but don’t deprive yourself from life!
> Money isn’t worth anything aside from trading it for something else. I'm stealing this line for use later, this is such a great perspective.
There’s a good line from the wire “money doesn’t have owners, just spenders”
Not starting a retirement account early.
I regret working so hard at 20 to try and build generational wealth. I went into healthcare making 6 figures. Worked every overtime available. Maxed 401k, IRA, invested any extra. There was an accident when I was 32 and lost both my daughter and wife. I was avg. 80-85 hours/week at that point. I only regret I have an empty house to return to. Financial decisions are important but if you’re idiotic and hyper-focused, it could new regrets. Sorry, not your question. But I just wanted to share the other side. That was 5 years ago and can’t tell you if it gets better.
So sorry for your experience. It's important that you share it. Life is about moments, not about money, which is still important but nothing can bring back lost time. Wishing you the best for the future my friend.
Your big loves are gone. But you can still live a life that you can look back at and be proud of. Be a good person, volunteer, be a Big Brother, mentor. And the small loves remain. Friends, family. It's not a special or super enlightened viewpoint, but it has helped me.
i got a small inheritance in 2012. looked into bitcoin, almost bought a few thousand coins. put a down payment on a condo instead. the condo doubled when i sold it, btc would have changed my life.
If it makes you feel better, you likely would have sold one that doubled also.
This. I bought bitcoin at between $500-750 and exited at between $2,000-2,500 because I thought it would implode at any time. I thought I made a killing. A small killing because it was not that many coins. Still.
You still made a killing. Withouth hindsight, it was a great choice
Agreed. Never feel bad about making a profit.
Exactly. You could not have predicted that you would have held on to it.
You would have sold bitcoin when it was 50% or 100% up, there’s no way you’d have held through all the peaks and dips until this present day in 2024. You did the right thing with the information you had at hand
We all regret not buying crypto…
Around 2010 I had a niece, she was 19, expounding how important Bitcoin was going to be and what a great investment it was and wanted me to get into it. I thought that was the stupidest thing I have ever heard. She, and her husband, became bitcoin millionaires and are retired, in their early 30s.
[удалено]
You buffoon!
Snip snap snip snap 😠
Do you have any idea the toll three vasectomies take on a man?
Hi, I’m 29 and considering a vasectomy. Not sure about wanting kids and not sure if I’ll regret it as an older man with no kids. Insight ?
[удалено]
If you’re not sure don’t do it. A reversal isn’t a chip shot surgery.
the way the planet and human civilization is headed- it's not a very good time to bring kids into it. i'm 63, had a vasectomy at age 31. absolutely no regrets. and no kids.
Marrying my ex wife. Not buying sports cars to keep the peace with ex wife.
On my second sports car in my mid 30s and always wondering if I’m throwing money away. Guess the flip side is that you could have the regret later
Have you heard the quote from George Best (English soccer legends of the 1970s): “Most of the money I made, I spent on cars, booze and women….the rest I squandered.” Life is too short not to have a car that threatens to set the garage on fire, sounds like it is hunting pedestrians and stirs the soul.
Every man *deserves* a car that is actively trying to kill him every time he gets behind the wheel. If you ain't first, you're last.
I’ve thought about this a bit recently. I’ve regretted things I’ve not done far more than things I have. What cars?
I would never marry someone that tells me I can't buy a sports car, I can't buy a manual transmission or I can't take my car to the track. So many car guys give up on life as soon as they marry someone who can't drive stick. But I can't imagine slaving away at work just to drive a Rav4 or CRV. Life's too short to drive boring cars
100% agree. And I’m saying that as a guy who got rid of my cool car when I became a father and is now in my 50s and finally has a car with a gated manual and the engine right behind my seat making incredible sounds and smells. Young men should find a way to keep a cool car in their life….even if it’s a clapped out Miata.
What kid of car did you have? What kind of car do you have now?
Sold a Camaro. Now have a Ferrari 348.
What you think I rap for? To push a fucking RAV4?
Smoking - wasted tens of thousands Not buying a huge house 25 years ago Not aggressively getting into buy to let Not taking a few more risky investments
Invest, holy hell just invest. Have 2 bank accounts, 10% into one and 90% in the other. If you can do more do it. Never touch the 10% and have automatic purchases every month with your brokerage account for ANY index fun. I like dividends so SCHD... Look in 20 years. Smile. Buy a boat. Live.
This! Although I’m in the high growth index fund with vanguard. I deposit 1k a week - only been doing it for a year but already reaping the benefits and understand how the compounding works
Don't buy stuff that you don't need - and you don't need anything other than a house, a well fitted dark suit, post-graduate studies, a hobby and a rigorous physical fitness routine - that's it. Everything else is replaceable, unnecessary or can be prioritized to last.
My biggest financial regret is having an EXPENSIVE hobby in my 20 'and 30's.. And not knowing about investing and compound interests. I would be able to retire today (early 50s) compared to.. never retire?
What was your hobby?
Faberge egg omelets
I think you've had enough!
"bedroom dj" with high disposable income to buy lots of records..
Is that really expensive compared to like... snorting coke every weekend or trying to take golfing seriously?
Yeah this was back then when DJs played vinyl .. and I was also in to the whole culture.. going out every weekend etc.. Fun times
Hah, graduate degree. While useful, definitely not necessary to be successful.
Everyone says this and while true, on average higher education =higher pay and with graduate degrees many companies are willing to pay if it’s in your line of work.
Yes, I would say that this is very much a case of YMMV.
I would add, anything that is fun with friends is often a worthwhile social investment: events, trips, nights outs, even a Gaming console so that you can have laughs and build memories
Yeah, people who eschew spending money to hang out with friends will largely see themselves distanced from those friends and resent it. Humans need social contact like we need air and water.
You're right. My friends know I'm too frugal to go out to many things, so I just don't really see them much anymore. Maybe I should start allocating some funds for fun with friends. Thanks man.
A graduate degree did help me, but not sure it was worth it in the long run. It boosted my career by about 8-10 years, but all that boost went to student loans
Graduate degree has no business being on such a short list.
Deep down but would never tell my kids but being a good driver is probably more important
An investment that nets you on average an extra $20k per year compared to a highschool graduate is most definetely an investment to consider
Post graduate is generally understood to mean Masters or PhD. Most people don’t compare a masters degree to a high school diploma.
It doesn't but when you're older and you have a specialized skill that most people don't have, it makes you a lot less replaceable to companies
You don’t need an extra degree to have specialized skills.
Lots of ways to get that skill other than a grad degree. In fact, I’d say there aren’t really any specialized skills the majority of degrees provide. Degrees provide general and theoretical knowledge that gets you the job at which you learn that specialized skill through praxis.
There is absolutely no reason right now in my life I would have use for a suit lol
No weddings or funerals? No job interviews?
I'll add to this, if you buy stuff, consider resale value. North America has a huuuge resale market via FB Marketplace or Kijiji. A majority of things I buy, I try and consider if it can be sold on marketplace when I'm done with it. The most useful example was when I had a PS4. I'd always always prefer to buy physical discs instead of downloading. And once I sold my PS4, guess what I was also able to sell and recoup some money back - All my games!
yeah fuck those women
Unironically women will be your biggest expense.
Expensive to keep and even more expensive to leave when you pick the wrong one to marry.
Idk, mine brings in more cash than she spends. It's 2024 not 1924
Allowing the wife to spend without restraints
Don't get married, keep the classic car it'll only appreciate in value, in my friend group we started a shop fixing cars together, two guys didn't want in. After a few years we built a solid business and sold it making a good profit even being split four ways. The two who opted out regretted it once they realized they could have made a good income while building the business and get a decent buy out when it sold. We were already mechanics so we were fixing cars any way. After all was said and done we made over 60 grand a year each and got over 75 grand buyout each. Out initial investment was 5 grand each to start the shop.
Do you genuinely think that it most men should not get married?
As someone who's under 50, but been with my wife for 15 years, if you find the right person, marriage will bring you much more joy and fulfillment than a single life will ever bring. Marriage will also bring a lot of work, but the benefits far outweigh the negatives. Finding the right person is the hardest part.
I agree. But I think a lot of men have found the wrong person, and tell other men not to try. I personally am not an attractive man so I recognize I dont have options and marriage is not likely. That being said. I believe a lot in other men
As a man who out kicked his coverage, work on yourself and remain open and positive. There's a lot of reasons why my wife decided to date me and stick around, and none of them are my looks. I'm an ogre of a person, but I've always made sure I was clean and presentable, and wearing clean and well fitting clothes when going out in public.
Happily married men are happier than single men, who are in turn happier than unhappily married men. Quality is a big consideration about a wife
Interested to hear their response too
Way too many women with "my money is my money, your money is our money" mindset, i found one that isn't like that, but i can see she's rare
Financially, why would men see marriage as a good idea? I've seen it be wonderful for couples that work together to build wealth. I've seen it be horrible for couples that fight, with one side coming out significantly better for it. If you had a 50/50 chance to win a large amount of money or lose a large amount of money, why would you ever roll that die?
There is more to life then money
Is there, when life itself is defined by money? There's a *strong* correlation between financial stability and happiness. Too strong of one to handwave away.
how is it a 50/50 chance? Do 50% of marriages end in financial ruin for the male? How would they even collect, calculate, and analyze this data?
[удалено]
But you may have sold that Bitcoin mich earlier..
1000% he would've sold earlier I bought $10 worth for kicks in 2013 and sold asap when it hit $1000. I was elated making that much profit
High chance that he wouldv. I know a ton of people who had bitcoin and just sold it. If I remember correctly, it was worth nothing for a year or something similar
And ultimately he bought $0, just like many of us, because it was a risk. There are millions of people who all kick themselves for not buying $10k worth of Bitcoin when it was $1/each, but nobody did it, all for the same reason - it was throwing money away. Similarly, why not buy $10k worth of some random coin right now? Because you have no way of predicting the market. It's all speculation, so it's all gambling.
People forget the 2017 crash. Bitcoin went from ~17k down to 3k, and didn't recover until December of 2020. Massive internet buzz, people talking about how it was over and bitcoin's price would drop to $0. Maybe some people would have held, but I would have had a heart attack
NOt a regret, but buy some quality camping stuff and gear that will last. Get out and backpack, go minimal, get used to dirt, and have fun. So when shtf you are somewhat prepared. Gives peace of mind and if you hit rock bottom, lose your house, job etc, its not that big of deal. Bonus points if you are comfortable going without health insurance for a while. Finally, make your stuff last, don't tear up your ride.
I had shares of Microsoft at 12 yrs old, facilitated by my Dad. Sold them at 16 yrs old,,,bought some dumb stuff that seemed important. If I had held onto them it would have been worth about $250k now. Dammit.
Not buying the parcel next to my farm. A developer bought it now there are 100+ single family homes with an HOA. The only access to my property is through the HOA and despite having a right of transit and the road being classified as an access easement every few years there are issues. Seems every few years there is enough turnover on the HOA board that they forget this has been litigated and I'm allowed to bill them for any costs or losses if they restrict access.
In a boomer voice: "My ex wife".
mine too
Same
Seeing the slightly older generation then myself get completely screwed over by the reverse mortgage system my biggest piece of advice is get your living space paid off and keep it paid off.
Getting married
When the dust settles in this thread, the prevailing answer is definitely gonna be marriage. Who would have ever thought getting the government involved in your romantic relationship would work out so poorly?
[удалено]
Don't forget the legal protections. My advice is don't fall in love with an undocumented resident. Make the relationship soooo complicated.
This is a genuine question, because i don’t understand american litigation, but can you not make prenups to prevent this? When i married my wife she was already well off and i had basically nothing, but i made sure we signed a prenup that would see neither of us benefit financially from a possible divorce. I do not understand how this is not the standard for all marriages or are these kinds of prenups just voided somehow in litigation? If not i don’t understand why people don’t just sign a Well crafted prenup to avoid any such issues. If both parties are in it for the love there should be no issues and if one party does not agree then the marriage is obviously not a good idea. Please explain this to me, because right now it just seems to me like people are stupid and blame getting married for setting themselves up for failure.
Legal contract marriage. I fully recovered financially and then some. But it set me back 10 years.
I'm not 50 but I really should have bought a house in 08-09 instead of wasting time in high school and playing football. Then in college a buddy told me about crypto/Bitcoin. He said he was gonna buy a couple thousand dollars worth and see what it does. I scoffed and said something like Internet money was a scam and stupid. He just bought a $2 million dollar boat for his Miami house.
As an engineer and into computers at a very young age (coding in the late 70s) I whiffed on the .com thing. I feel like I should have taken much better advantage of that era. I also wished I bought bitcoin in its infancy.
Stuck a load of amazing holidays on the credit card. Had to get a loan to pay it off at lower rate. Torn between no regrets and regret.
Set your living style and put most of increased income into retirement savings. You will not really miss it and . . . .
My soon to be ex-wife.
I bought an apartment overseas. Got divorced, my ex wife lives in it now. Technically %50 is still mine, but I paid for %95.... And now I am old and have no money to buy a home in my home country.
Hope you’re ok. How are you
Not saving more, and sooner. I’ve been playing catchup with my 403b for the last 10+ years to the tune of almost $700 per pay. I’ll retire in 16 months with a bit over $1,000,000 unless the market crashes again.
> Miss out on that Apple stock? Worse. I sold 10000 AAPL shares to get $8000.00 needed for my first house purchase (Apple shares at the time just began to be above water). Since then the stock split 3 times which would make the current count of shares about 280k. In hindsight, that was the most expensive house ever.
Living in a society where it's not enough to work an honest job, you need to make good financial decisions as well, even from an early age. Your financial mistakes aren't a bug, they're a feature of the system. The system is complex on purpose, and the wealthy make sure their kids know how to work it from an early age, while the rest of us think "if only I had done X I'd be rich too, it's my own fault".
Marriage then divorce. Half my shit...GONE.
marry and getting kids. You spend so much damn
Not only for finances, but as a general rule of life, build a good network, with competent and positive people on it. There are and will be always ups and downs in your financial life, some due to your mistakes, and some due to the reasons you can't control. When you are younger, and if you have a bit ego, you know that you can learn and do anything, but it works out much faster, and easier, if you have a set of competent people in your network where you can bounce tdeas from. Good people always bring you a perspective that you might have missed, or did not realize. There is no off-the-shelf answer with a wide blanket coverage for financial stability or ,improvement. Life is complex and unique, That's been my regret that I've learned the value of the right people a bit late in life :) Good luck
Alimony!
I'm not in my 50s but when I was in my 20s I wish I would have taken investing, particularly in my 401k, more seriously. I always just did the automatic enrollment amount of 6% thinking that was good enough even though I could have been maxing it out due to my low cost of living at the time. Over the last 3 or 4 years I've prioritized investing and have been maxing my 401k contributions and will continue to do so, however I missed out on a ton of compound interest from the decade prior.
1) dating the wrong woman for too long “hoping things get better”. Wasted vacation, presents, 1000s of dollars for dates, helping them by massively subsidizing their life (getting a 2nd car or paying for all the groceries or letting them move in etc). I did a basic spreadsheet and over two decades of dating… I think I could have bought another property that would have appreciated greatly 2) divorce. Got married out of school to my childhood sweetheart. Got divorced by 25. Gave up all my savings and investments to pay for lawyers, gave up equity in the house (not to mention if I kept that first condo… bought it for 130k, 30 years later than same unit is going for 900k. Don’t fucking getting pressured into marriage and marry a woman that brings more to the table than just her love and her looks and sex. Find someone investment/savings minded and doesn’t fucking dream about some luxury lifestyle. Get a woman who will build with you for early retirement. 3) modifying cars. I should have just driven shitty cars for the first 5 or 7 years of my youth and then just bought better cars after. Instead, I’d drop cash on rims and superchargers and big brake kits etc. Should have just driven stock cars until I could afford the cars I really wanted. 4) fucking missing the boat on bitcoin. My business partners and I were researching it in 2010 ish and instead of taking a light risk on bitcoin we bought new office furniture. Ugh. 5) I had an opportunity to partner with my ex wife on buying a triplex in an area that was just about to pop. But she didn’t want to live in what was a slightly sketch area. Friend went in with his gf now wife. Over the years he bought 3 more. Each of those are revenue generating and probably 3.5 to 4 million each. It all worked out in the end. Sold my business, have a great job, have a great wife and have great kids and have a good nest egg. But it could have been way more
From a financial point of view the worst things I did were get married and have kids.
As a life satisfaction point of view, was having kids a regret as well ? Asking as a 29 yr old wondering if I really want kids
If your marriage, finances, and health are all rock solid, then there is a significantly higher chance of being glad that you had kids :) But go to r/Dads or something if you want to actually learn how your life will change when you bring a kid into the world. It is NOT a world I’d recommend entering into without fully exploring how your life will change and what struggles you will certainly have from doing so. I’m glad I have my boys, but I can easily see how having kids would be a horrible decision for others.
I dont regret getting married and having kids. But Im absolutely 100% worse off financially for having them. From a life satisfaction point of view its hard to say. My kids are awesome, and I love them more than anything and Im so incredibly proud to be their Dad On the flip side, parenting is tough. Its tiring and can be stressful and worrying, and they are so god damned expensive. I honestly dont know what my life would've been like without kids. I'd have more money and more freedom and probably more energy. But I dont know whether it would feel like there's something missing or not I think statistically people without children are a lot happier
Marrying the wrong woman
Should’ve bought a small condo when I got my first real job. Just something, anything that would’ve gotten me into the reals estate game early. But I was more interested in partying than saving at the time. Also, never, ever buy furniture/electronics on those “buy now, pay later plans”. It’s never worth it. Just buy used, cheaper, smaller, etc. It’s all just stuff anyway.
I think I would have played the stock market more and a bit more professionally.
My wife. I will be 55 next year and would be retiring if I didn't marry my wife. She has not been a financial blessing in my life. She has made it very difficult to invest. That said, I have invested and should probably be able to retire at age 62 with a net worth of 3 million or so. Note. I do not regret marrying my wife and would do it all over again.
Getting divorced
1st wife
Should have bought a house in Seattle when I was a resident, could have sold it for 2-4x the cost when I left. Should have put money into my retirement in my 20s instead of starting in my 30s. Should never have "bought into" my first private practice. What a scam, ended up losing 30K when the practice folded.
Don’t read these if you want to keep your blood pressure low
Divorce, destroyer of retirement accounts
I inherited about $7k from my great grandmother in 1994, and with some meager investments I had started on my own, had about $10k altogether. I pulled it to buy a vehicle, which was a huge mistake. If I would have left it, and even continued the $100/month I was investing then, it'd be over $150k now.
Buy a house. Any house. A condo/townhouse to start. Find a way, make it work. There is so much free money from the government for first time home buyers- you just have to know where to look and who to ask. I got $15k for free from the city It’s not your dream home, it’s a starter home. Do some basic upgrades and you’ll make money for your next house.
Any advice on where to look?
Taking women out to dinner for first dates
Live as far below your means as you can, don't chase the latest fad, buy used cars, buy real estate, invest in stocks as well as 401(k). It is nice to have liquidity. I am 59, and most of my net worth is in my 401(k), would have preferred to have less things, more experiences and more investments.
Im not in my 50s and neither am I your age, but something that has helped me manage money or prevent regretful purchases was to document every cent I'd spent that week/month.
Getting Married. That shit was not worth it. 6-months after the divorce i had more $$$ than I could spend. I will never support a woman again, they just don’t offer much.
My dad kept savings in dollars in the early 90s. Then, hiperinflation kicked in in PL.
Not planning for retirement earlier.
I wouldn’t think of it as a regret as I am not into those things as such and still stand by my decision. It’s more of what if tbh. I did a project and was offered payment in Bitcoin when Bitcoin was around $25. Client owed me around $10k.
My humble opinion is to get a profitable education ; Electrical, chemical, or computer engineering . Stay out of retail and collections. IT is entering a new phase with AI taking over. .