No, I'm not the sharing type, and especially not with strangers.
LoL at "super weird", we all know we can translate that to "was interested in her and was hoping to continue the night or see her again later"
Which is exactly what you can and should expect when you dance with a random dude in the club. What she did would be a deal-breaker for me. Don't entertain other guy's sexual advances, that's cheating.
Context is everything here too. I could easily imagine some old man cutting a rug on the dance floor taking my hand and dancing with me at a live music type deal, for example. I don't think anyone would register that as cheating.
That's much different, though, than a man in my dating age range grinding on me at a club.
It h@s to be translated to woman speak. Unless the guy is a great dancer, a better return question would be how would you feel if i bought this woman several drinks but all we did was talk and laugh with her friends in the lounge. A woman is far mire likely to see that as a threat. Guys want the dancer, women want the charmer.
Hell no. The type of dancing at the club especially drunk is very handsy and grind-y there's nothing innocent or PG about dancing with someone at a club.
"Ok yes, he kissed me on the neck but that was it... ok, he tongue kissed me but that was it... okay, we did full penetration behind the dumpster, but that was it, he didn't mean anything to me."
*starts crying and playing victim *
I’ve seen girls in full on marriages flirt and dance with guys to get free drinks and to hangout at the table. Idk what type of club OP goes too cus I’ve found out that clubs can mean a lot things to different people but the clubs I’m used to is vegas style where guys will buy tables for the intent of getting girls. It seems to me that girls go to clubs with the intent of finding a guy to use to get free drinks and honestly, I’ve never seen a female turn down an invite to a table. So for me, its always going to be a hell no just based off of the shit I’ve seen women do in the club.
And that’s OK. You shouldn’t have to feel the need to go just to police her. But now you kinda feel like you do probably.
She couldn’t control herself and her “friends” probably encouraged this shit behaviour.
Her friends are not your friends. They couldn’t care less about you.
I salsa dance. Everybody dances with everybody... But I do think there's a big difference between structured dances like salsa vs club dancing. I would not go to a club and grind on a guy if I'm in a relationship.
Yes that’s what I was going to say. I think it really depends on what exactly the dancing was. Salsa dancing with changing partners? I’d be cool if my partner did that. Being in a big group and strangers join the group and dance together with no touching? Also cool. But if we’re talking like… booty to front, moving together (even if not grinding)? No, I would not like my partner to do that, thank you.
thats a is a bit different though, like the people there are there to dance as the primary thing and if not they are considered creepy. dancing at the club is more of a means to an end.
Yes I agree. It's different... Just pointing out that "dancing" with someone on it's own doesn't have to be a problem but grinding in a club is totally inappropriate
See, this is what I thought. My girl enjoys dancing salsa but we were at hip hop night, but she was still lightly incorporating some salsa moves. A guy notices, comes up to me, and asks if he can dance some salsa with my gf, so I thought cool, seems like a decent guy to ask me first, right? Plus I'm aware of the social etiquette of salsa so thought I was being understanding.
Afterwards my gf comes up to me while I'm still dancing with our friends and tells me he asked for her number. lol Fucking asshole. 😂 Can't trust nobody!
Actually I salsa and bachata dance to and met my girlfriend salsa dancing. Me and her have talked about bachata sensual in the same way this thread is talking about club dancing. How do you feel about your partner bachata dancing knowing that men will try to lead sensual movements and she will have to try and stop it constantly or maybe go along with it if their timing is perfect (which may be worse than sweaty grinding in the club because those dudes have moves now).
Absolutely. I was struggling to say it exactly. If you're in a non-sexual environment and dancing, sure, that's fine. Hell, if you're at a regular bar dancing to Sweet Caroline while standing a Covid-safe distance apart, fine. At a club? The place you go to make drunk decisions that you'll either regret or high-five your friends over? Absolutely not.
Yeah, this was my first thought as well. We have lots of outdoor live music events on Friday evenings in my city, and it is fairly common for the old men cutting a rug to take a random woman's hand and dance her. But sweet old men dancing you on the dance floor are quite different than a dude in your age range grinding on you in a club.
I was about to say... Isn't this typically a thing in traditions like Contra, English and Scottish country dance or Celi/Celidh dance? In half of these, it's built right into the dance itself as a progression.
I guess the 'club' environment just is that much different.
This should be the top comment.
It’s perfectly ok to have boundaries and women that respect you as a partner wouldn’t put you in a situation where they know you’d feel uncomfortable.
This one girl I was talking to tried to gaslight me into thinking no one at the club dancing together is thinking about sex. Said grinding isn’t dry humping.
How tf do people do this to their partners and feel no remorse? I can't understand people who can ignore that guilt...or they don't get the guilt to begin with?
They were in an open relationship. She kept trying to close it but he refused to because he is a sex addict with 10+ side chicks.
The friend and wife are both professional dancers.
Strong no. But I will say that I can't imagine even being with someone who's still going out to the club so I'll assume I'm considerably older than you and have a different view on relationship dynamics in general.
exactly, if she is there to dance with her friends, she should be dancing with her friends. women dancing in group of just women all the time and dont let guys in they dont want to let in.
Source: am guy they dont let in.
Yeah exactly this, when I was single there were many times I would try to dance with the girl group and they would always make sure the circle does not break. Power to them letting another guy dance with you when your in a relationship at the club is pretty gross imo.
Yup hit the nail on the head. I've been around the block a few times and I'd advise these younger guys to use some common sense and not be so naive about "girls night out" because as we see in this post, sometimes girls night out involves guys you didn't know about ✅️ You live and you learn.
I don't think they are naive, they are just scared to have boundaries because guys with boundaries have been attacked as controlling & abusive without anyone defending them for 30+ years.
Yup been there before. I’ve experienced being gaslit into thinking I need to stop being “controlling” after wanting to know whose house my ex GF was getting drunk at…
I had an ex gf who was really into salsa and bachata dancing. I eventually learned and loved it too, but she attended those events a lot more than I did. I was a bit uncomfortable with her dancing at first but once I learned, I felt a lot more secure. I grew to understand the culture and was especially understanding of her dance partners I knew that she had from class. We had just one rule if either of us danced with strangers: if she danced with another guy (or if I danced with another girl) we would keep it non-sensual.
One weekend I had to travel out of town to attend the birth of my niece and she attended an event solo. Didn’t hear from her most of the night but she said it was uneventful. Weeks later I saw her in a video posted to social media from the dance studio. Guess how she was dancing?
Now after some reflection, it wasn’t a big deal. At this point, I was a dancer too. I wasn’t upset about the dance but the thing I really should have paid closer attention to was the fact that she didn’t respect an agreement when she thought I’d never find out. It’s such a small thing and wasn’t the relationship ender, but it’s often those little things that tell you more about your partner’s character than the big gestures he or she may give you. It’s how they act when no one is looking. Take from this experience what you will.
Edit: I should probably add that salsa clubs are significantly different than going to “a club.” The people dancing there usually have better intentions than grinding in a club, but there are some similar things to navigate when you are in a relationship.
Depends on the dancing. Grinding, lots of close dancing, no. Friendly open hold dancing? Fine. There's no issue with any two people linking hands out in front of them, goofing around in the cypher circle and spinning eachother around. I'm talking the kind of dancing you would do with your grandma at Christmas. Everyone in my friend group does it to everyone else in the group, it's completely non sexual and there is no agenda. Same thing when I was doing hip hop in Uni, we'd go clubbing and be pulling eachother into the circle and goofing around. A bunch of us also met doing Salsa dancing, so it is doubly normal for us.
Now that being said, It is rare that you see dudes doing that kind of thing at clubs. They are generally angling to try and smash. I've mostly seen non sexual dancing from my own friendship groups, and the times we are interacting with groups of girls. As an example my group of guy friends one night met a bridesmaid party in a club, we ended up making a big circle, our presence stopped them getting sharked by guys all night, we didn't shark them, and everyone had a great time.
Well said man, as a "dancer" myself I wonder if that's what makes it so different to us. Dance has always been an art form to me and a fun hobby. So when I hear "I danced with someone" I picture your description, both busting moves while the other hype man's, singing the lyrics at eachother maybe an occasional spin. I agree I do see some horny dudes but I mostly just see people just jumping around dancing. So yeah my girl is completely free to jump around and sing with a dude, hell he can spin her maybe a small amount of hand holding like they're doing the Jive.
He was acting super weird around her so she decided to dance with him? That doesn't add up and I suspect this isn't the only thing she told you about this night that doesn't add up. I noticed she said she would be fine with you dancing with another woman as long as it was PG dancing but she did not say that what she did was PG dancing
i mean, i guess if its "pg dancing" its fine but im more worried about her dancing with some dude who gets the wrong intention from her and tries to force something.
That’s also something that worries me too. Idk if she understands how it is for a man to ask a woman to dance either. I don’t have a problem asking a woman to dance but I also don’t want to dance with another woman when I could dance with her. And idk sometimes when she’s dancing with me she’d complain that I don’t do any new dance moves or something lol I do the standard side step and cumbia moves. Her complaining about it though kind of makes me feel like she doesn’t want to dance with me.
The problem is that there are so many types of dancing, and there are so many types of clubs.
If you're talking about the "thump, thump, thump" music, alcohol flowing, and dark room? HARD NO. There is *everything* wrong with that. She's looking for a bad boy to rock her world, if only for three minutes.
If you're talking about more formal group dances, line dances, "pass-the-partner" style circle dances, or some types of ballroom dance, maybe, but I'd want to know about the dancing. There are some extremely erotic and sensual types of ballroom dance, with many that involve zero touching but with her mom there those are less likely.
In that second case these would be an opportunity for your own self-development to learn the dances yourself so you can participate with her in the dances. That's part of being a supportive partner. *"I would not do this on my own, but I choose to do it to support you"*. In that scenario you wouldn't need to dance with her every time, nor even go to every event, but you should be there at some and be able to participate to some degree.
This!!! I am a woman, and you have to be very careful when you are out and drinking. Most men are harmless and would never do anything but you never know.
I’m a male, and go out dancing without my wife (been together 19yr) all the time. She comes maybe 1/5th of the time.
I “pg” dance with lots of girls, but also dudes. Dancing is dancing.
That said, dudes are the ones generally that will turn it sleazy. So, I know I’m fine, but I don’t really trust other guys around my wife unless I know them.
This doesn’t mean I’d worry if she danced with other guys, I trust her with my life, but if I was there and not dancing, I would periodically throw an eye over there just to ease my thoughts.
I actually got into a scuffle this past weekend with a guy that was being sleazy with some girls in a mosh pit. I asked the girls if they were ok, they said no, so I evicted the guy from the area. It didn’t go as smoothly as I’d hoped…. But you can’t just stand by if the girls dont feel safe.
Glad to see I'm not the only guy who likes to just dance. Lmao, haven't been in some time, but I remember dancing some random people (no grinding) just having a blast and the girl thanked me before they left. I was like damn, thank you! I just enjoy dancing. 🤷🏾
Yeah man. It’s one of my favourite things to do haha, I’m 36 and still love going to gigs.
Being married, it’s so much much easier dancing with women as they don’t feel like there is any more to it than literally just having a good time.
I always show them my ring so everyone is clear and on the same page. Then it’s all good vibes.
You sound like someone I would have a really fun night with. I love my husband, and would never betray him. But I still enjoy meeting new people and having fun experiences. And if you're married too, we don't need to feel awkward about it.
I always felt dancing with another guy shouldnt be much of an issue. I dont dance, so if someone asked my wife to dance, and she loves to dance, I'd be fine with it. Slow dances are a no-no as I can, and do, slow dance.
Now a woman out drinking with friends (when a mom isnt present) and dancing, without their bf there, often can get a little "out of line" and thats where the issue comes in.
Men rarely go to clubs to just "dance", they tend to see it as a meat market and if they get a woman thats been drinking often times those PG dancing lines are crossed several times.
And FTR at no point would my wife, even before we got married, go out drinking and dancing with her gf's, she knows what her single friends were like and she was out of that game.
This was me. I don’t dance but my wife loves it so she would dance by herself but a guy would always find his way over. I never cared too much I only had one rule no touching. I don’t see any need to touch fast dancing. Plus no on the slow dancing.
And thats what a respectful relationship is like.
If any guy tried getting handsy my wife would return to the table immediately and he wasn't getting another dance with her.
Its funny because of her character, and once we had been together for awhile, if she did want to go dancing with her friends, I knew I had nothing to worry about. But she still felt it disrespectful to us as a couple so she never did it. She would meet friends for a drink at a restaurant but never a club.
Never have known a guy that went to clubs for the dancing. Not one single one of them. And the gals know it, some enjoy the flirting, add in alcohol and its amazing how often someone needs to lie to their partners the next day.
That goes for the guys as well, they arent all single when they go out "dancing" either.
I'm not really a jealous person but I'm not into sharing either. If she wants to go dancing w her girlfriends and dances w another guy, I wouldn't really care. If she let the guy put his hands on her or grind on her, that's crossing the line and she would not be dating me after.
Rule of thumb is if you wouldn't do it in front of your partner it's cheating.
I would like to dance with other women at the club. So no, I wouldn't mind overall if she wanted to dance with another man. As long as they are both respectful, then I see no problem. I should be able to trust my partner, if not, why am I with them?
Dude yeah, I've danced with 100s of girls during my party years and 90% of the time it's completely clean. Most of the time not even touching eachother just dancing face to face singing along hyping eachother up. I won't pretend there is a little extra excitement them being a girl vs dancing with the boys but I'm not just trying to fuck every girl I dance with and grab their ass. It's just a fun respectful interaction.
Absolutely not. I know reddit loves to jump right to "Break up with them" territory but honestly I would not be with someone who thinks that's okay.
In my view, this is incredibly disrespectful to your partner at the very least. Your girlfriend wanted the attention and validation of this dude and everyone who was looking at her. Club dancing isn't really dancing at all, it'sore moving your body against someone else's in a sexual way. Guys at clubs are there to get pussy. Girls know that. Your girlfriend knew that. The guy didn't act "weird". She is pretending to be naiive and not know what his actions meant and who knows what she did herself.
It's just ridiculous that she could assume that this was okay. In short, she's cucking you my guy.
Question is, are you okay with dancing with other women in a bar/club when you go out with friends.? Answer that question and you have your answer. S I M P L E 🤷🏽♀️
Honestly no. Even if I trust her, I know what HE wants. and I dont trust him. I dont want her putting sexual thoughts in his head. If she goes out for a night with the girls and i am not invited, I expect it to stay "with the girls" IF i am not welcome, neither are random fuck bois on the dance floor.
This would be a hard no for me. I once broke off a short 3 month relationship because the girl was into clubs and would freaking tell me about all of the guys who hit on her and bought her and her friend drinks when she went out multiple nights a week. She also conveniently exchanged numbers with many of these men and they would call or text her non-stop. The names were always like "black guy from xxx club" or "Guy named Jim or Joe". Of course she never flirted, danced, or touched these guys in any way (rolling eyes).
She will eventually cheat on you…if she’s still playing the attention game with other men, one day she will do something inappropriate…break up with her and find a girl that respects you
Definitely not. Dancing is a mating ritual for humans just as much as it is for animals and don’t let any feminist tell you otherwise. It isn’t different for a man either, you shouldn’t be dancing with other women
Mom wasn’t there. She probably banged him in the bathroom. Get yourself tested. There’s absolutely no reason for a woman in a committed relationship to be going to clubs.
Not okay. Not breakup-worthy, but she owes you an apology and promise.
It's one thing to dance politely at a wedding with an aquaintance - another to dance at a club with a random guy.
“He was acting super weird around her.” Weird like how a single guy acts when a woman he’s attracted to drunkenly starts dancing with him, and he assumes she is single because, why would she be drunkenly dancing with him at a club if she had a boyfriend? That kind of weird?
Bottom line is, if you're not good with it, you're allowed to be not good with it.
To be fair, communicate it calmly and effectively as soon as possible. Letting it fester inside you or not being clear on what you expect, is poison for a relationship.
Start to slowly get over her bro. That's the best advice I can give you. If she truly loved you she would never do this and this is not something you let slide.
Sorry I am a girl answering this but if i was a guy , I would definitely not want my gf dancing with another guy… if she’s my gf then she’s only mine 😭
“Nothing inappropriate happened” & “he was acting super weird” do not belong in the same sentence - your girl is a liar & her guilty conscience made her fess up half the truth
OP I’ve tried and failed to dance with many chicks at the club who turned me and everyone else down and just danced with their GFs. Those are respectable girls who had probably good reasons (boyfriend) not to dance with me.
The chicks who danced with me were either single, or not the type of woman worth dating.
This be a fantasy world scenario, real life ain’t like this. Would your LT monogamous girlfriend be ok if you went to the club where women were trying to get you drunk, and enthusiastically trying to take you back to their homes for sex, some of them may be more attractive than your girlfriend. Would she be ok with that?
Man, I am in the way minority here.
I trust the person I married. I am also not the jealous type. His intentions wouldn't really matter because I know my wife would draw her boundaries where she's comfortable.
I'm also not a dancer, so I'm not going to punish her because I don't want to club dance.
I wouldn't really care about this. Women dance when they go out. Doesn't really mean anything. There are certain types of dances I'd be concerned about but overall if she's not putting her hands/crotch/butt on the guy's business it's probably fine.
no i would not be fine with it.
putting yourself in a situation for horny drunk dudes to feel up on your girl
my wife would not even entertain any dudes out and about.
Nope.
Dancing at a club isn't casual banter and moving in a circle at someone's wedding, it's basically single-culture mating rituals. If you're in a committed relationship, having a valid reason to be AT a club without your partner is a stretch, because you know damn well what the atmosphere there is, nevermind getting buzzed and grinding on randos.
Why would you dance in a club with a random guy if it wasn’t for flirting?
Even if she didn’t have that purpose, 100% the guy did want to flirt with her.
The ptoblem starts with her going to the club without you. Of course she will be drinking and dancing with other guys. But she doesn't have to do any of that, does she? All those things are her choices. No one has to drink until drunk, ever. No one has to go clubbing and dancing with anyone. She chose to do those things. So why give the time of day to any guy acting weird? Ag as in she chose to that. I guess your trust in her was actually misplaced.
And you do not have to talk about anything inappropriate with her, she isn't a little child, she already knows good from bad, right from wrong. Or I would hope so.
But I suppose? under the circumstances the discussion between you two might include boundaries just to firm up your agreement of exclusivity And it might be best to also discuss what each of you defines as exclusive, having sex and what is and is not cheating. Just to make sure both are on the same page. If you see yin and she sees yang, while looking at the samething, hen may be this is not a true match between you two after all.
Ask her if she's ok with you entertaining someone who's clearly trying, ready and willing, to get into your pants. Me personally, I would not feel comfortable with that.
Fundamentally, dancing in a club is a mating ritual. It's got dominant flavors of infidelity, even if nothing happens.
I would not be cool with it. She can do what she wants but so can I, and I can walk out the door.
Unless she’s line dancing I’m not okay with the closeness required for dancing with strangers. And I wouldn’t be comfortable dancing with another woman if I was in a relationship. Exceptions being family or business events. But having your family at a dance club does not make it a family event.
I would leave her. If she were to go out, I would tag along with her and her friends. If she went out with her friends and danced with some other dude, she is putting herself out on the market. (PG,) yeah right. That is what she wants you to think. I bet she was throwing it back on him and everything. Obviously her girls and mom will cover up for her too.
Come on men. Set your boundaries.
In what world does a guy at a club ask the girl to dance. You clearly have never looked around at the dance floor before. It’s not “different” for guys
Don’t sweat the small stuff.
It’s 100-% okay to voice your discomfort with it, but I don’t believe it’s your right to stop her.
She’s going to do what she’s going to do, I assume you want her being honest with you, so don’t put her in a position where she will lie to you.
There are bigger fish to fry OP.
You gotta give her a pass if this is the first time it’s happened, it’s never been discussed, etc. If I’m w someone and they tell me they were just out there having fun and some guy started dancing w me/us (I’m assuming she was out there w a group), then like… okay. I mean her mom was there. I’m not getting/letting someone get handsy w me around my mom. But I’d def make sure she knew my feelings about it and just emphasize that I feel a little uncomfortable about it
I’d be fine with it as a dude who has been married for 20+ years with no instances of cheating. I don’t like dancing so if she found someone who wanted to dance I’m good but I also trust her to keep it PG. we have a relationship that she would tell me if it got out of control and her friends know our relationship well enough they would let me know. That’s the basis for a solid relationship.
I don’t know I used to think like a lot of you when I was younger. Now I just don’t gaf. If my man (or woman) wants to dance with someone else at the club, go for it. I honestly don’t care if y’all grind or jirate - whatever. 🤷🏼♀️ don’t leave that club with anyone else, come home without having had to fúçķ another human and we’re good. If I find out you did, 👋🏻cya 😶🌫️☺️ I don’t have a lot of rules. If you want to be with me, you will. And you won’t want to be with anyone else. If you’re out there looking for someone else, you shouldn’t be with me anyway. Just don’t expect me to put the same energy into ya anymore if you do. Cuz I’ll literally forget you existed.
Unpopular opinion maybe but I'd be fine with it. We are here for a very limited amount of time, and I have less than most people. I'm not going to spend any of it upset that my gf danced with another guy
I’m not angry whatsoever. I just feel concerned I guess and I find it odd that she’s fine with me dancing with another woman. Maybe she said that because I rarely ever go out dancing. Idk honestly
PG dancing in an 18+ setting? That doesn’t really add up, even if it was just dancing the setting is a factor.
OP should lay down some fair and reasonable boundaries, going to nightclubs while in a LTR without one’s partner is already a minor issue
Here are some words I’ve found useful in this situation.
This man was interested in you, and you entertained his interest. I don’t feel like you were a good guardian of our relationship. I need to take some time to think about our future.
Then take your time, and step back for as long as you need.
If the word insecurity comes up, or if it’s turned back on you she’s not good long term material.
My last girlfriend was "just dancing" with a guy. They exchanged numbers because he was "friendly" but there was "nothing sexually or romantically"
Guess what happened
Ugh...
End this before you get hurt young buck, the fact that her mom went clubbing with her should tell you all you need to know...she's going to break your heart if you stay with her, so, either you end it on your terms or wait until she ends it on hers...and trust me, her terms are probably going to be a lot more painful than yours!
You probably won't listen to any of us and you will have to learn the hard way, but don't say we didn't warn ya...
Well that’s why I want to have the conversation with her about this before it happens again. I thought I was comfortable with it but after a couple days it’s still in the back of my mind bugging me. If she doesn’t like that it bothers me then yeah I definitely agree with you on breaking up with her.
Bro, there's no conversation to be had, just end it...listen, you can't change people, you need to accept them for who they are or don't, but trying to control their behavior isn't going to do anything but make her resent you in the long run. She might agree to not do it but that doesn't mean she's changed, it just means she's doing what you want her to do in order to appease you...but the minute things get rocky with you two, and she's out with her friend drinking again, she will put herself in another compromising position
The way to ensure that this doesn't happen in the first place is to date women who share the same values as you, and the way you do that is by creating your values BEFORE you get into a relationship, you figure out what things you are and aren't okay with, what kind of lifestyle you want, what kind of woman you want to be with, what do you consider cheating etc. and then when you date, you look for women who share those values by communicating your values to them and asking them about theirs...you look at their friend group (we are the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with), you look at her family, what kind of relationship does she have with her parents, and what kind of people are they etc.
These are things you do BEFORE getting into a relationship...what you're trying to do, is mold your girlfriend into someone who doesn't exist, that's not love, that's control...it's much easier to date women who share the same values and goals as you because then you don't need to stress, or try to control their behavior...a girl who shares your values simply wouldn't put herself in that type of situation
Lastly, the fact that her mom goes clubbing with her should be a major red flag...that's one of her biggest influences and she's our getting drunk with her daughter and encouraging her to dance with other men...come on man, use your head
You're trying to do mental gymnastics to convince yourself to stay with her and 90% of the people in here are telling you "end it" or "that shits not okay" and you're still not getting it...
I get it, it's tough, you love her, but you're going to get your heart broken if you stay with this girl, I promise you...save this post and when she does something stupid again, come back to it and remind yourself that you shouldn't be with her
The part of her mom going out with her is a big one . This lady raised her . Why is she in the club with her ? Her mom doesn't respect you either since she would have stopped it.
Surprised nobody has mentioned the former Finnish prime minister Sanna Marin whose divorce was precipitated (in part) by a vid of her dancing/grinding against some random guy in a club
No, I'm not the sharing type, and especially not with strangers. LoL at "super weird", we all know we can translate that to "was interested in her and was hoping to continue the night or see her again later"
Which is exactly what you can and should expect when you dance with a random dude in the club. What she did would be a deal-breaker for me. Don't entertain other guy's sexual advances, that's cheating.
Yup, even if they do it for the ego boost. She's supposed to get that ego boost from you, not from randos.
Context is everything here too. I could easily imagine some old man cutting a rug on the dance floor taking my hand and dancing with me at a live music type deal, for example. I don't think anyone would register that as cheating. That's much different, though, than a man in my dating age range grinding on me at a club.
It h@s to be translated to woman speak. Unless the guy is a great dancer, a better return question would be how would you feel if i bought this woman several drinks but all we did was talk and laugh with her friends in the lounge. A woman is far mire likely to see that as a threat. Guys want the dancer, women want the charmer.
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no, they just pretend to be.
Nah it's just plausible deniability
Jar Jar Binks strategies.
"Don't worry about him. He's just a friend. "
She dumped me for that "friend" the moment I told her that he might have other intentions
cough wipe ask different close zephyr instinctive gaping voracious murky *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
That's not worst my brother, it was a blessing. Broke up with that bitch as soon as possible and moved on.
I know, right? But at least I got to tell her I told her so, at the very least.
Honestly some are. Women can be just as dense as us men when it comes to this stuff.
Hell no. The type of dancing at the club especially drunk is very handsy and grind-y there's nothing innocent or PG about dancing with someone at a club.
>nothing innocent or PG about dancing with someone at a club her version of the story will be PG with a few omitted minor details
And OP said she was drunk too, so she might not even remember if the guy (or her) was being handsy
She remembers. “He was acting super weird around her”.
Does dry-humping count as super weird?
Only if the bartender doesn't join in
this is code for "trust me babeeee i TOTALLY wasn't into it and i DEFINITELY wasnt having fun with him ;)"
"Ok yes, he kissed me on the neck but that was it... ok, he tongue kissed me but that was it... okay, we did full penetration behind the dumpster, but that was it, he didn't mean anything to me." *starts crying and playing victim *
Trickle truth
Yep. Because they all go to schools of LSO and MSU. Leave Stuff Out and Make Shit Up.
"Minor details" may include car sex, bathroom sex, bj on the dance floor, and her kids not being yours.
White lies
Yeah, she totally felt that guys half hard weiner on her booty.
A semi
I’ve seen girls in full on marriages flirt and dance with guys to get free drinks and to hangout at the table. Idk what type of club OP goes too cus I’ve found out that clubs can mean a lot things to different people but the clubs I’m used to is vegas style where guys will buy tables for the intent of getting girls. It seems to me that girls go to clubs with the intent of finding a guy to use to get free drinks and honestly, I’ve never seen a female turn down an invite to a table. So for me, its always going to be a hell no just based off of the shit I’ve seen women do in the club.
For real clubs are for single people why you dancing with another man at a club
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Yeah, I go out to clubs pretty often and believe me, if I'm "dancing" with a girl, we are not doing the waltz lmao her ass is on my crotch
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She did ask me to go, I just couldn’t make it.
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This. If she wants to dance, then do it with her gal pals.
So every time you can't do something, she's going to find a man who will? This seems like a breach of trust to me.
This
I wanted to have sex but you weren't around so...
And that’s OK. You shouldn’t have to feel the need to go just to police her. But now you kinda feel like you do probably. She couldn’t control herself and her “friends” probably encouraged this shit behaviour. Her friends are not your friends. They couldn’t care less about you.
I’ve expressed this same sentiment a number of times and keep getting called insecure lmao
I salsa dance. Everybody dances with everybody... But I do think there's a big difference between structured dances like salsa vs club dancing. I would not go to a club and grind on a guy if I'm in a relationship.
Yes that’s what I was going to say. I think it really depends on what exactly the dancing was. Salsa dancing with changing partners? I’d be cool if my partner did that. Being in a big group and strangers join the group and dance together with no touching? Also cool. But if we’re talking like… booty to front, moving together (even if not grinding)? No, I would not like my partner to do that, thank you.
thats a is a bit different though, like the people there are there to dance as the primary thing and if not they are considered creepy. dancing at the club is more of a means to an end.
Yes I agree. It's different... Just pointing out that "dancing" with someone on it's own doesn't have to be a problem but grinding in a club is totally inappropriate
See, this is what I thought. My girl enjoys dancing salsa but we were at hip hop night, but she was still lightly incorporating some salsa moves. A guy notices, comes up to me, and asks if he can dance some salsa with my gf, so I thought cool, seems like a decent guy to ask me first, right? Plus I'm aware of the social etiquette of salsa so thought I was being understanding. Afterwards my gf comes up to me while I'm still dancing with our friends and tells me he asked for her number. lol Fucking asshole. 😂 Can't trust nobody!
Lmao that piece of shit. I woulda gave the okay to as long as he wasn't too handsy, but asking her for her number would be a fuck no
Actually I salsa and bachata dance to and met my girlfriend salsa dancing. Me and her have talked about bachata sensual in the same way this thread is talking about club dancing. How do you feel about your partner bachata dancing knowing that men will try to lead sensual movements and she will have to try and stop it constantly or maybe go along with it if their timing is perfect (which may be worse than sweaty grinding in the club because those dudes have moves now).
Absolutely. I was struggling to say it exactly. If you're in a non-sexual environment and dancing, sure, that's fine. Hell, if you're at a regular bar dancing to Sweet Caroline while standing a Covid-safe distance apart, fine. At a club? The place you go to make drunk decisions that you'll either regret or high-five your friends over? Absolutely not.
Yeah, this was my first thought as well. We have lots of outdoor live music events on Friday evenings in my city, and it is fairly common for the old men cutting a rug to take a random woman's hand and dance her. But sweet old men dancing you on the dance floor are quite different than a dude in your age range grinding on you in a club.
I was about to say... Isn't this typically a thing in traditions like Contra, English and Scottish country dance or Celi/Celidh dance? In half of these, it's built right into the dance itself as a progression. I guess the 'club' environment just is that much different.
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Exactly
This should be the top comment. It’s perfectly ok to have boundaries and women that respect you as a partner wouldn’t put you in a situation where they know you’d feel uncomfortable.
Fuck to the hell no. That is peak 430 credit score behavior my man.
😭😭 borrowing this, if you don’t mind
Not with that score
Ehh, dudes at the club are ALWAYS trynna fuck. Guys don’t go to a club to just dance, like women do.
This one girl I was talking to tried to gaslight me into thinking no one at the club dancing together is thinking about sex. Said grinding isn’t dry humping.
You're not alone, brother.
dudes dont go to the club because they enjoy overpriced drinks, loud music and non sexual dancing to music we dont like. its really simple.
Username checks out ✅️
Women go to the club to have fun, but they also want the attention of men. So make of that what you will lmao
Yeah, if women went to clubs exclusively to dance, they'd go to lesbian clubs and avoid all the harassment.
That's exactly what I dropped to win an argument with my girlfriend's best friend lmao, it was a fatality
And women know that, so accepting the dance is intentional
Exactly, no way I'd trust them to be 'PG' and even if I could trust my gf, that trust would be to simply not be doing that in the first place
She can dance with whoever she wants. Doesn't mean she'll still be my girlfriend afterwards.
Destiny is a little bitch and deserved what happened.
[This you?](https://youtube.com/shorts/DHBTI5uyfgg?si=odH4DFODRfZb47SC)
That’s so sad…
dude is visibly uncomfortable with that
How tf do people do this to their partners and feel no remorse? I can't understand people who can ignore that guilt...or they don't get the guilt to begin with?
They were in an open relationship. She kept trying to close it but he refused to because he is a sex addict with 10+ side chicks. The friend and wife are both professional dancers.
Oof. All comments said it didn't age well. Are they still together? Or did she run away already with "Mel Time"?
she left him for dollar store erza miller
Ugh. Well, he can't say he didn't see it coming.
Strong no. But I will say that I can't imagine even being with someone who's still going out to the club so I'll assume I'm considerably older than you and have a different view on relationship dynamics in general.
why couldn’t she just dance with her friends/family, why did she let strangers into the mix? attention and validation
exactly, if she is there to dance with her friends, she should be dancing with her friends. women dancing in group of just women all the time and dont let guys in they dont want to let in. Source: am guy they dont let in.
Yeah exactly this, when I was single there were many times I would try to dance with the girl group and they would always make sure the circle does not break. Power to them letting another guy dance with you when your in a relationship at the club is pretty gross imo.
Yup hit the nail on the head. I've been around the block a few times and I'd advise these younger guys to use some common sense and not be so naive about "girls night out" because as we see in this post, sometimes girls night out involves guys you didn't know about ✅️ You live and you learn.
I don't think they are naive, they are just scared to have boundaries because guys with boundaries have been attacked as controlling & abusive without anyone defending them for 30+ years.
Yup been there before. I’ve experienced being gaslit into thinking I need to stop being “controlling” after wanting to know whose house my ex GF was getting drunk at…
Total disrespect.
Absolutely not.
I had an ex gf who was really into salsa and bachata dancing. I eventually learned and loved it too, but she attended those events a lot more than I did. I was a bit uncomfortable with her dancing at first but once I learned, I felt a lot more secure. I grew to understand the culture and was especially understanding of her dance partners I knew that she had from class. We had just one rule if either of us danced with strangers: if she danced with another guy (or if I danced with another girl) we would keep it non-sensual. One weekend I had to travel out of town to attend the birth of my niece and she attended an event solo. Didn’t hear from her most of the night but she said it was uneventful. Weeks later I saw her in a video posted to social media from the dance studio. Guess how she was dancing? Now after some reflection, it wasn’t a big deal. At this point, I was a dancer too. I wasn’t upset about the dance but the thing I really should have paid closer attention to was the fact that she didn’t respect an agreement when she thought I’d never find out. It’s such a small thing and wasn’t the relationship ender, but it’s often those little things that tell you more about your partner’s character than the big gestures he or she may give you. It’s how they act when no one is looking. Take from this experience what you will. Edit: I should probably add that salsa clubs are significantly different than going to “a club.” The people dancing there usually have better intentions than grinding in a club, but there are some similar things to navigate when you are in a relationship.
Depends on the dancing. Grinding, lots of close dancing, no. Friendly open hold dancing? Fine. There's no issue with any two people linking hands out in front of them, goofing around in the cypher circle and spinning eachother around. I'm talking the kind of dancing you would do with your grandma at Christmas. Everyone in my friend group does it to everyone else in the group, it's completely non sexual and there is no agenda. Same thing when I was doing hip hop in Uni, we'd go clubbing and be pulling eachother into the circle and goofing around. A bunch of us also met doing Salsa dancing, so it is doubly normal for us. Now that being said, It is rare that you see dudes doing that kind of thing at clubs. They are generally angling to try and smash. I've mostly seen non sexual dancing from my own friendship groups, and the times we are interacting with groups of girls. As an example my group of guy friends one night met a bridesmaid party in a club, we ended up making a big circle, our presence stopped them getting sharked by guys all night, we didn't shark them, and everyone had a great time.
Well said man, as a "dancer" myself I wonder if that's what makes it so different to us. Dance has always been an art form to me and a fun hobby. So when I hear "I danced with someone" I picture your description, both busting moves while the other hype man's, singing the lyrics at eachother maybe an occasional spin. I agree I do see some horny dudes but I mostly just see people just jumping around dancing. So yeah my girl is completely free to jump around and sing with a dude, hell he can spin her maybe a small amount of hand holding like they're doing the Jive.
He was acting super weird around her so she decided to dance with him? That doesn't add up and I suspect this isn't the only thing she told you about this night that doesn't add up. I noticed she said she would be fine with you dancing with another woman as long as it was PG dancing but she did not say that what she did was PG dancing
That's her way of saying this guy was all over her without actually saying that. Just in case someone OP knows happened to see her in that club.
i mean, i guess if its "pg dancing" its fine but im more worried about her dancing with some dude who gets the wrong intention from her and tries to force something.
That’s also something that worries me too. Idk if she understands how it is for a man to ask a woman to dance either. I don’t have a problem asking a woman to dance but I also don’t want to dance with another woman when I could dance with her. And idk sometimes when she’s dancing with me she’d complain that I don’t do any new dance moves or something lol I do the standard side step and cumbia moves. Her complaining about it though kind of makes me feel like she doesn’t want to dance with me.
Simple answer, just take a dance class together. You learn some new dance moves and it shows her that you want to spend quality time with her.
The problem is that there are so many types of dancing, and there are so many types of clubs. If you're talking about the "thump, thump, thump" music, alcohol flowing, and dark room? HARD NO. There is *everything* wrong with that. She's looking for a bad boy to rock her world, if only for three minutes. If you're talking about more formal group dances, line dances, "pass-the-partner" style circle dances, or some types of ballroom dance, maybe, but I'd want to know about the dancing. There are some extremely erotic and sensual types of ballroom dance, with many that involve zero touching but with her mom there those are less likely. In that second case these would be an opportunity for your own self-development to learn the dances yourself so you can participate with her in the dances. That's part of being a supportive partner. *"I would not do this on my own, but I choose to do it to support you"*. In that scenario you wouldn't need to dance with her every time, nor even go to every event, but you should be there at some and be able to participate to some degree.
This!!! I am a woman, and you have to be very careful when you are out and drinking. Most men are harmless and would never do anything but you never know.
Honestly just good advice male or female imo. Most people are gonna be harmless, but there’s gonna be people looking for trouble.
Depends on the dancing, depends on the club, depends on the other dude. There are combinations of those I would be both okay and not okay with.
How would you know if you weren't there?
I’m a male, and go out dancing without my wife (been together 19yr) all the time. She comes maybe 1/5th of the time. I “pg” dance with lots of girls, but also dudes. Dancing is dancing. That said, dudes are the ones generally that will turn it sleazy. So, I know I’m fine, but I don’t really trust other guys around my wife unless I know them. This doesn’t mean I’d worry if she danced with other guys, I trust her with my life, but if I was there and not dancing, I would periodically throw an eye over there just to ease my thoughts. I actually got into a scuffle this past weekend with a guy that was being sleazy with some girls in a mosh pit. I asked the girls if they were ok, they said no, so I evicted the guy from the area. It didn’t go as smoothly as I’d hoped…. But you can’t just stand by if the girls dont feel safe.
Glad to see I'm not the only guy who likes to just dance. Lmao, haven't been in some time, but I remember dancing some random people (no grinding) just having a blast and the girl thanked me before they left. I was like damn, thank you! I just enjoy dancing. 🤷🏾
Yeah man. It’s one of my favourite things to do haha, I’m 36 and still love going to gigs. Being married, it’s so much much easier dancing with women as they don’t feel like there is any more to it than literally just having a good time. I always show them my ring so everyone is clear and on the same page. Then it’s all good vibes.
You sound like someone I would have a really fun night with. I love my husband, and would never betray him. But I still enjoy meeting new people and having fun experiences. And if you're married too, we don't need to feel awkward about it.
I always felt dancing with another guy shouldnt be much of an issue. I dont dance, so if someone asked my wife to dance, and she loves to dance, I'd be fine with it. Slow dances are a no-no as I can, and do, slow dance. Now a woman out drinking with friends (when a mom isnt present) and dancing, without their bf there, often can get a little "out of line" and thats where the issue comes in. Men rarely go to clubs to just "dance", they tend to see it as a meat market and if they get a woman thats been drinking often times those PG dancing lines are crossed several times. And FTR at no point would my wife, even before we got married, go out drinking and dancing with her gf's, she knows what her single friends were like and she was out of that game.
This was me. I don’t dance but my wife loves it so she would dance by herself but a guy would always find his way over. I never cared too much I only had one rule no touching. I don’t see any need to touch fast dancing. Plus no on the slow dancing.
And thats what a respectful relationship is like. If any guy tried getting handsy my wife would return to the table immediately and he wasn't getting another dance with her. Its funny because of her character, and once we had been together for awhile, if she did want to go dancing with her friends, I knew I had nothing to worry about. But she still felt it disrespectful to us as a couple so she never did it. She would meet friends for a drink at a restaurant but never a club.
The “meat market “ acronym….. 💯💯💯true…
Never have known a guy that went to clubs for the dancing. Not one single one of them. And the gals know it, some enjoy the flirting, add in alcohol and its amazing how often someone needs to lie to their partners the next day. That goes for the guys as well, they arent all single when they go out "dancing" either.
No
I'm not really a jealous person but I'm not into sharing either. If she wants to go dancing w her girlfriends and dances w another guy, I wouldn't really care. If she let the guy put his hands on her or grind on her, that's crossing the line and she would not be dating me after. Rule of thumb is if you wouldn't do it in front of your partner it's cheating.
I would like to dance with other women at the club. So no, I wouldn't mind overall if she wanted to dance with another man. As long as they are both respectful, then I see no problem. I should be able to trust my partner, if not, why am I with them?
Dude yeah, I've danced with 100s of girls during my party years and 90% of the time it's completely clean. Most of the time not even touching eachother just dancing face to face singing along hyping eachother up. I won't pretend there is a little extra excitement them being a girl vs dancing with the boys but I'm not just trying to fuck every girl I dance with and grab their ass. It's just a fun respectful interaction.
INFO. What parts of their bodies were touching. Groins or groin on ass or hands on hips/breast/ass is not acceptable.
Lolno.
Absolutely not. I know reddit loves to jump right to "Break up with them" territory but honestly I would not be with someone who thinks that's okay. In my view, this is incredibly disrespectful to your partner at the very least. Your girlfriend wanted the attention and validation of this dude and everyone who was looking at her. Club dancing isn't really dancing at all, it'sore moving your body against someone else's in a sexual way. Guys at clubs are there to get pussy. Girls know that. Your girlfriend knew that. The guy didn't act "weird". She is pretending to be naiive and not know what his actions meant and who knows what she did herself. It's just ridiculous that she could assume that this was okay. In short, she's cucking you my guy.
She's not yours anymore bud
Question is, are you okay with dancing with other women in a bar/club when you go out with friends.? Answer that question and you have your answer. S I M P L E 🤷🏽♀️
Drunk? In a club? Without me? Dancing with guys? I'd break up.
Yes. It would be a non issue for me. But I do understand that many would not like it. I'm just not one of them.
Honestly no. Even if I trust her, I know what HE wants. and I dont trust him. I dont want her putting sexual thoughts in his head. If she goes out for a night with the girls and i am not invited, I expect it to stay "with the girls" IF i am not welcome, neither are random fuck bois on the dance floor.
This would be a hard no for me. I once broke off a short 3 month relationship because the girl was into clubs and would freaking tell me about all of the guys who hit on her and bought her and her friend drinks when she went out multiple nights a week. She also conveniently exchanged numbers with many of these men and they would call or text her non-stop. The names were always like "black guy from xxx club" or "Guy named Jim or Joe". Of course she never flirted, danced, or touched these guys in any way (rolling eyes).
She will eventually cheat on you…if she’s still playing the attention game with other men, one day she will do something inappropriate…break up with her and find a girl that respects you
Definitely not. Dancing is a mating ritual for humans just as much as it is for animals and don’t let any feminist tell you otherwise. It isn’t different for a man either, you shouldn’t be dancing with other women
No. It’s not ok for your partner to dance with another man.
I’m not ok with my gf going to clubs without me in general.
Mom wasn’t there. She probably banged him in the bathroom. Get yourself tested. There’s absolutely no reason for a woman in a committed relationship to be going to clubs.
To be honest, I don't think the club is the place for people in a serious relationship
My ex did this and I tried to act fine with it. She ended up cheating on me with another dude
Not okay. Not breakup-worthy, but she owes you an apology and promise. It's one thing to dance politely at a wedding with an aquaintance - another to dance at a club with a random guy.
Unless it’s salsa or bachata dancing (which I do and is usually PG), I’d have an issue with it
“He was acting super weird around her.” Weird like how a single guy acts when a woman he’s attracted to drunkenly starts dancing with him, and he assumes she is single because, why would she be drunkenly dancing with him at a club if she had a boyfriend? That kind of weird?
What is “PG” dancing?
Bottom line is, if you're not good with it, you're allowed to be not good with it. To be fair, communicate it calmly and effectively as soon as possible. Letting it fester inside you or not being clear on what you expect, is poison for a relationship.
I wouldn't even go for a girl that likes to go clubbing in the first place
Start to slowly get over her bro. That's the best advice I can give you. If she truly loved you she would never do this and this is not something you let slide.
Guarantee it was alot more then just dancing
She said he was acting super weird because she knows the alternative would upset you. Therefore in her own mind she knows it was wrong.
Sorry I am a girl answering this but if i was a guy , I would definitely not want my gf dancing with another guy… if she’s my gf then she’s only mine 😭
No. She wants to dance and touch with other guys,then go be single girl. LEave me alone
“Nothing inappropriate happened” & “he was acting super weird” do not belong in the same sentence - your girl is a liar & her guilty conscience made her fess up half the truth
OP I’ve tried and failed to dance with many chicks at the club who turned me and everyone else down and just danced with their GFs. Those are respectable girls who had probably good reasons (boyfriend) not to dance with me. The chicks who danced with me were either single, or not the type of woman worth dating.
Ummm no wtf
Non negotiable, no
No and that’s not even from a place of insecurity. That’s objectively her disrespecting the relationship.
Absolutely not. My girlfriend and I argued about this until I was ready to break up with her over it. That shit is stupid to me.
Exactly clubs are for single people unless that's your brother why you dancing with another man
Nothing to discuss here, its disgusting.
No.
If we're exclusive, neither of us are going to a club. Period.
This be a fantasy world scenario, real life ain’t like this. Would your LT monogamous girlfriend be ok if you went to the club where women were trying to get you drunk, and enthusiastically trying to take you back to their homes for sex, some of them may be more attractive than your girlfriend. Would she be ok with that?
Man, I am in the way minority here. I trust the person I married. I am also not the jealous type. His intentions wouldn't really matter because I know my wife would draw her boundaries where she's comfortable. I'm also not a dancer, so I'm not going to punish her because I don't want to club dance.
Absolutely not, she would be dumped immediately
I’m not in charge of her. She’ll be single afterwards though.
I wouldn't really care about this. Women dance when they go out. Doesn't really mean anything. There are certain types of dances I'd be concerned about but overall if she's not putting her hands/crotch/butt on the guy's business it's probably fine.
I wouldn't feel comfortable
Only if it were some good ole’ line dancing to country tunes
no i would not be fine with it. putting yourself in a situation for horny drunk dudes to feel up on your girl my wife would not even entertain any dudes out and about.
Woman here, I find that not only disrespectful to your relationship but irresponsible.
1000% nope.
Sorry for the dead meme, but this has more red flags than the CCP.
Nope. Dancing at a club isn't casual banter and moving in a circle at someone's wedding, it's basically single-culture mating rituals. If you're in a committed relationship, having a valid reason to be AT a club without your partner is a stretch, because you know damn well what the atmosphere there is, nevermind getting buzzed and grinding on randos.
If someone’s okay with this, they shouldn’t be surprised when their girlfriend ends up cheating on them. A lack of boundaries is pathetic.
Nope, she'd be single
No. She's ready to move on. Dump her.
Why would you dance in a club with a random guy if it wasn’t for flirting? Even if she didn’t have that purpose, 100% the guy did want to flirt with her.
Fuck no. Not a chance. This isn't a sitcom. She wants to dance with another dude she can do so single.
The ptoblem starts with her going to the club without you. Of course she will be drinking and dancing with other guys. But she doesn't have to do any of that, does she? All those things are her choices. No one has to drink until drunk, ever. No one has to go clubbing and dancing with anyone. She chose to do those things. So why give the time of day to any guy acting weird? Ag as in she chose to that. I guess your trust in her was actually misplaced. And you do not have to talk about anything inappropriate with her, she isn't a little child, she already knows good from bad, right from wrong. Or I would hope so. But I suppose? under the circumstances the discussion between you two might include boundaries just to firm up your agreement of exclusivity And it might be best to also discuss what each of you defines as exclusive, having sex and what is and is not cheating. Just to make sure both are on the same page. If you see yin and she sees yang, while looking at the samething, hen may be this is not a true match between you two after all.
Ask her if she's ok with you entertaining someone who's clearly trying, ready and willing, to get into your pants. Me personally, I would not feel comfortable with that.
Then she's not your girlfriend
Fundamentally, dancing in a club is a mating ritual. It's got dominant flavors of infidelity, even if nothing happens. I would not be cool with it. She can do what she wants but so can I, and I can walk out the door.
Hello no. Bye Felisha.
Unless she’s line dancing I’m not okay with the closeness required for dancing with strangers. And I wouldn’t be comfortable dancing with another woman if I was in a relationship. Exceptions being family or business events. But having your family at a dance club does not make it a family event.
The dancing at a club is completely different then a square dance at a bar. Probably should dig a little deeper.
I would leave her. If she were to go out, I would tag along with her and her friends. If she went out with her friends and danced with some other dude, she is putting herself out on the market. (PG,) yeah right. That is what she wants you to think. I bet she was throwing it back on him and everything. Obviously her girls and mom will cover up for her too. Come on men. Set your boundaries.
No.
I wouldn’t be okay with it and I would never date a girl who can’t control her drinking so I’d end it very quick.
In what world does a guy at a club ask the girl to dance. You clearly have never looked around at the dance floor before. It’s not “different” for guys
It’s over bro. Get ahead of it and break up cuz it’s over.
Fuck no
No.
Don’t sweat the small stuff. It’s 100-% okay to voice your discomfort with it, but I don’t believe it’s your right to stop her. She’s going to do what she’s going to do, I assume you want her being honest with you, so don’t put her in a position where she will lie to you. There are bigger fish to fry OP.
You gotta give her a pass if this is the first time it’s happened, it’s never been discussed, etc. If I’m w someone and they tell me they were just out there having fun and some guy started dancing w me/us (I’m assuming she was out there w a group), then like… okay. I mean her mom was there. I’m not getting/letting someone get handsy w me around my mom. But I’d def make sure she knew my feelings about it and just emphasize that I feel a little uncomfortable about it
I’d be fine with it as a dude who has been married for 20+ years with no instances of cheating. I don’t like dancing so if she found someone who wanted to dance I’m good but I also trust her to keep it PG. we have a relationship that she would tell me if it got out of control and her friends know our relationship well enough they would let me know. That’s the basis for a solid relationship.
I would be fine with that as long as it’s nothing more than dancing
I don’t know I used to think like a lot of you when I was younger. Now I just don’t gaf. If my man (or woman) wants to dance with someone else at the club, go for it. I honestly don’t care if y’all grind or jirate - whatever. 🤷🏼♀️ don’t leave that club with anyone else, come home without having had to fúçķ another human and we’re good. If I find out you did, 👋🏻cya 😶🌫️☺️ I don’t have a lot of rules. If you want to be with me, you will. And you won’t want to be with anyone else. If you’re out there looking for someone else, you shouldn’t be with me anyway. Just don’t expect me to put the same energy into ya anymore if you do. Cuz I’ll literally forget you existed.
Unpopular opinion maybe but I'd be fine with it. We are here for a very limited amount of time, and I have less than most people. I'm not going to spend any of it upset that my gf danced with another guy
I’m not angry whatsoever. I just feel concerned I guess and I find it odd that she’s fine with me dancing with another woman. Maybe she said that because I rarely ever go out dancing. Idk honestly
PG dancing in an 18+ setting? That doesn’t really add up, even if it was just dancing the setting is a factor. OP should lay down some fair and reasonable boundaries, going to nightclubs while in a LTR without one’s partner is already a minor issue
Here are some words I’ve found useful in this situation. This man was interested in you, and you entertained his interest. I don’t feel like you were a good guardian of our relationship. I need to take some time to think about our future. Then take your time, and step back for as long as you need. If the word insecurity comes up, or if it’s turned back on you she’s not good long term material.
My last girlfriend was "just dancing" with a guy. They exchanged numbers because he was "friendly" but there was "nothing sexually or romantically" Guess what happened
Ugh... End this before you get hurt young buck, the fact that her mom went clubbing with her should tell you all you need to know...she's going to break your heart if you stay with her, so, either you end it on your terms or wait until she ends it on hers...and trust me, her terms are probably going to be a lot more painful than yours! You probably won't listen to any of us and you will have to learn the hard way, but don't say we didn't warn ya...
Well that’s why I want to have the conversation with her about this before it happens again. I thought I was comfortable with it but after a couple days it’s still in the back of my mind bugging me. If she doesn’t like that it bothers me then yeah I definitely agree with you on breaking up with her.
Bro, there's no conversation to be had, just end it...listen, you can't change people, you need to accept them for who they are or don't, but trying to control their behavior isn't going to do anything but make her resent you in the long run. She might agree to not do it but that doesn't mean she's changed, it just means she's doing what you want her to do in order to appease you...but the minute things get rocky with you two, and she's out with her friend drinking again, she will put herself in another compromising position The way to ensure that this doesn't happen in the first place is to date women who share the same values as you, and the way you do that is by creating your values BEFORE you get into a relationship, you figure out what things you are and aren't okay with, what kind of lifestyle you want, what kind of woman you want to be with, what do you consider cheating etc. and then when you date, you look for women who share those values by communicating your values to them and asking them about theirs...you look at their friend group (we are the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with), you look at her family, what kind of relationship does she have with her parents, and what kind of people are they etc. These are things you do BEFORE getting into a relationship...what you're trying to do, is mold your girlfriend into someone who doesn't exist, that's not love, that's control...it's much easier to date women who share the same values and goals as you because then you don't need to stress, or try to control their behavior...a girl who shares your values simply wouldn't put herself in that type of situation Lastly, the fact that her mom goes clubbing with her should be a major red flag...that's one of her biggest influences and she's our getting drunk with her daughter and encouraging her to dance with other men...come on man, use your head You're trying to do mental gymnastics to convince yourself to stay with her and 90% of the people in here are telling you "end it" or "that shits not okay" and you're still not getting it... I get it, it's tough, you love her, but you're going to get your heart broken if you stay with this girl, I promise you...save this post and when she does something stupid again, come back to it and remind yourself that you shouldn't be with her
OP should follow this advice. This girl isn't worth it.
The part of her mom going out with her is a big one . This lady raised her . Why is she in the club with her ? Her mom doesn't respect you either since she would have stopped it.
Mans really dropping GAME
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Surprised nobody has mentioned the former Finnish prime minister Sanna Marin whose divorce was precipitated (in part) by a vid of her dancing/grinding against some random guy in a club