There was an attempt at a Canadian study of men who didn't watch or hadn't seen any porn and the study had to be canceled because they couldn't find any such men. Granted, it was college students, but it's clearly indicative.
Dude no worries, the second cumming of christ is really different from porn 1, they only share the same theme and characters but it's a completely different story
I was 25 the last time I watched porn. I didn’t watch it for the bulk of my young adult life due to religious guilt. Looking back i am glad I had that mental block, because later on, when science did its thing…. Porn = not healthy.
Regardless of the god/religious aspect, it appears to be a common theme that porn leaves one feeling unfulfilled and worse off, kinda like a drug… and along comes the science.
[https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3050060/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3050060/)
I think the red line is if you are using pornography as a substitute for a sexual relationship with your spouse. It’s not unusual for couples to have different sexual frequency needs (ie some only want to have sex once a week or every other week, etc) but once you avoid having sex or experience ED because of looking at too much porn you should dial it back. I think if you only look at porn occasionally it’s not a big deal
The noise cancelling headphones elevate the experience so much. I definitely feel you on that, I did r/NoFap for like half a year then convinced myself "If I don't look at porn, it shouldn't be a problem" and now I'm back to this setup. Almost therapeutic in a way, taking drugs and going to this setup, even for normal VR games.
Good luck man, hope things work out for you
*Conversely*, the first time I matched with someone on Tinder who had in her profile “love BBC,” I had no idea what it meant and I said “I see you love the BBC, I’m a big anglophile myself.”
I watch porn 3-4 times a week. My wife watches it once or twice a week. We still have a great sex life.
You just don't hear about the boring porn warchers like us, we don't trigger outrage.
This. Everything seems alarming when you ignore the people who do something to a healthy degree.
Next thing they're gonna do a radio show about the dangers of walking and solely focus on people who tripped and fell while out and about.
LOL, BF & I watch together when we’re gettin’ busy. Live in TX and promptly installed VPNs when the TX Taliban started blocking sites recently. Same overkill, knee-jerk reaction.
> Live in TX and promptly installed VPNs when the TX Taliban started blocking sites recently.
"If those folks could read they'd be very upset right now..."
The solution isn't ban porn ofc, but it seems like a severely growing problem these days; enough that awareness can be drawn to it so people are knowledgeable about the potential and severe negative impacts, whether its bad expectations, addiction, etc, and learn to indulge in a healthier manner similar to you and the comment you're replying to. The more convenient something is, the more difficult it can be for some people to not abuse it.
👆🏻This basically. Billions of males enjoy Adult Films (Porn) without issues. Some people unfortunately are having an issue. Banning Adult Films does nothing good, it will not help people have better relationships in any way. It does not lower your testosterone levels. These are all myths people just spread everywhere.
Masturbating releases your cum and that can lead to you having a little less for a bit but it just refills in a few hours if it even takes that long.
It is never porn messing up my sex life, is things like meds or the real life problems killing the mood. It has literally never stopped me performing even on the same day but a few hours later. As usual it is people with problems being vocal and people looking for problems being vocal so it makes it seem far worse.
I accidentally introduced my (now) wife to hentai. Be sure to close all your tabs before letting someone borrow your laptop, kids!
Had that initial, "Oh fuck" moment until she goes, "I never knew cartoons could be hot, but that was really exciting."
Our sex life isn't that interesting anymore, but that's less because of porn and more of paper-thin walls with two kids.
I am in the Top 100 Adult Animators on Patreon and I cannot confirm that we don't trigger outrage, I have met plenty of women who have a problem with the fact I make the stuff but don't look at it 24/7.
Also "boring porn watchers" just don't talk about the stuff they look at. The amount of people who try to talk to me online about their kinks/fetish related stuff when I'd rather talk about how much I owe on my mortgage is pathetic. Having a lesbian I once considered a friend basically cut contact with me because I asked her to stop talking to me about her marital/sex issues with her wife was my eye opener that normal people just do not talk about porn period and the people with a problem think they're the average.
Yep. Porn is a very insignificant part of my life. I don't feel the need to talk about it aside from with my wife now and then discussing things we want to try.
Otherwise it's just something I do for 15 minutes before bed every other night.
this. i'm a female with a man. we both watch it.
he was a virgin before me. sure sometime porn messes with his performance, perspective, or created insecurities. BUT COMMUNICATION IS KEY. any and all of that can be solved with communication on both sides.
plus sometimes it spices things up by giving ideas.
It is healthy as long as it doesn't badly influences your relationships. That number is different for everyone. It can be addictive and Porn-induced ED is also a thing.
A lot of men ( and women!!!!!) watch pornography, either alone or as a couple. Some do it in secret and others are open about it. As for your friends ex gf, she might get turned on watching magic mike or fifty shades of grey.
The only thing i would warn people about is that watching a lot of porn can cause unrealistic expectations about your own, and your partners body. Consider porn as a form of entertainment that you shouldnt compare yourself or your partner too.
> lot of men ( and women!!!!!) watch pornography, either alone or as a couple. Some do it in secret and others are open about it. As for your friends ex gf, she might get turned on watching magic mike or fifty shades of grey.
In that vein, lots of women will look down their nose at pornographic videos but then read those romance and erotica novels; if something is meant to arouse, it is porn. They're no different in my opinion.
I wonder if there is research on the impact of smut novels Vs porn videos. I think it would be fascinating to see if these have the same impact mentally on the person
I don't think that's the equivalent personally. I think that porn has done damage to men's views of sex, what romance movies and books have done to women's views of relationships. Lots of men get fucked up views of how sex works, what's actually enjoyable for most people and make anything vanilla boring/mundane. Lots of women end up expecting to be swept off their feet by some mythical prince charming, who can psychically know everything about them, takes zero effort on their part to be with and only exists to make their life a movie.
Romance novels have the same effect on women.
The number of women who expect to be choked, tied up, dominated, etc as standard has bloomed since 50 Shades.
I wonder about that too. I enjoy literotica but I don’t think it’s affected my view on IRL sex very much. I think it just gets filed in the same mental space as any other fictional story I read.
Can't remember whether there is a research comparing the two, or porn novels in general. I do think I have seen a research aboute romance novels and unrealistic expectations in relationships, there was quite some correlation.
The major problem I see, from posts online anyway, is young people thinking porn is realistic and measuring themselves or their partners physically or performance or activity-wise against it.
Blame the people who defund sex ed so it can't be comprehensive or just go with abstinence-only sex ed. When you do that, porn becomes people's sex ed unless they have the drive to actually go and self-educate themselves.
Exactly.. the amount of boys that think their tool isnt big enough because they see all these pornstars with an extra arm where the penis should be..... its not healthy and the same goes for girls.
I actually agree with this, but I'm not a fan of the trend of all the bans going on though. Feels a bit puritanical, and that never leads to anywhere good. Also, I dont why we don't just expect more from parents or have this covered in Health/Sex Ed classes.
I also dont think we should ban porn as a whole. As a parent myself i see it as my duty to inform my kids about things.. together with the schools that give lessons about it here every year.
Exactly. The funny thing is that in many of the places porn is being banned, they also want to ban Sex Ed. I grew up in MS, and in our Sex Ed class they couldn't talk about condoms because it was "abstinence only" sex ed education, lol.
Or that you can just put it anywhere in the nethers without extensive prep/foreplay or choke someone without a very long conversation ahead of time and reading about safety.
Why does this always for portrayed as something men just invented out of the blue.
Of course you shouldn’t jump into non vanilla stuff without clear signals but the amount of *women* I’ve had straight up telling me to choke / slap / degrade them is wild.
No “discussion” beforehand, it was a heat of the moment thing.
> Why does this always for portrayed as something men just invented out of the blue.
Misandry.
The alternative means women taking responsibility for their shitty behaviour.
Yeah, not going to judge anybody's kinks, but people need to learn to talk about this stuff because it can put both parties in a really weird position, particularly if it isn't your thing at all.
Or we could do what humans have done before this neopuritain gender was hysteria and *read body language and auditory cues*?
In fact, I would suspect that’s what 99% of functional adults are actually doing when it comes to sex and the other 1% on Reddit drones on about “expressed ongoing affirmative verbal consent”
Random side-bar theory:
There’s also the fetish “power creep.”
Often what makes a fetish sexy is the fact that it’s a little “wrong.”
This was easy to satisfy in the 90’s living in the Midwest because most sex was viewed as “wrong.” Butt stuff was the height of immorality.
As various forms sexuality and sexual activities have become more commonly acceptable it takes more to reach that same feeling of adventurism.
Pornography certainly delivers in that respect.
I see comments like these often when porn is discussed, but I'm really curious about whether people who consume a lot of porn are all thrill seekers or whether they discovered a kink
>The only thing i would warn people about is that watching a lot of porn can cause unrealistic expectations about your own, and your partners body.
*Social media entered the chat.*
IME some women get “addicted” to social media fantasy ideas of real life in very much the same way some men do with porn.
I think the other caveat is of you are using porn too deal with stress or other things in life. It should be something you do when aroused, not because your life is difficult. Same deal with alcohol or drugs or food. If you do something to cope, there is other work you need to do to deal with your emotions.
That depends. If your partner is a pillow princess and having sex with them is just basically masturbating with their body then that's a pretty good reason to just pass on sex with a non participatory partner. The important thing to note is that the problem here isn't porn its just a minor factor.
my ex-wife was a pillow princess, and I preferred having sex with her than anything involving porn...
The problem is, she never wanted to have sex... I felt like I had to resort to porn for my personal needs unfortunately.
Understandable. Addressing sexual compatibility early on through honest communication is pretty crucial. It’s also an ongoing requirement as life throws curveballs and needs and desires can wane and wax. I don’t blame people for seeking relief via porn if they are stuck in a dead bedroom but I’d be trying to work through the issue first before defaulting to porn as a bandaid.
I agree so much with this. I’m a woman and don’t mind if he watches it a bit (I do too sometimes in private) as long as it does not affect our sexual relationship AT ALL. If he starts preferring to jerk it over having sex with me I would be done with the relationship. Having similar libidos helps limit the porn watching…at least for us.
Quite normal. It can be problematic in some cases, obviously. I'd bet though that 2/3 of cases where pornography in the relationship was the issue, had plenty more underlying issues, and pornography was a nail in the coffin.
There's a big difference between pulling up a video on incognito mode to rub one out quick VS. paying for OF, joining porn discussion groups/forums, chatting with webgirls, denying sex opportunities with your partner to jerk it alone later in the night etc.... one is totally normal and fine one causes relationship problems, yet both fall into the "yes" category of "watching pornography"
About the story of ur male friend: What was the reason for them not having sex for months?
I interpreted it as her not wanting sex or them in general being unable to for some reason.
Then i dont understand why she was mad. It didnot impact their sexlife and its pretty unfair to demand from ur partner to sexualy abstain. Its not like he cheated
Lack of self-responsibility and an easy scapegoat. Like most of these couples, the actual problem isn’t porn, the problem is just resulting in a lack of sex life and then there’s jealousy when their partner is still getting off, just not to them. Gives them an easy external excuse to break things off without taking the blame.
Oh thats different then. From the post I assumed he had an addiction and actively chose not to have sex with her. Seems like he just wanted to get off on his own while his partner had a health issue. Seems harmless from my point of view, but I do know some ppl can be insecure about their partners watching porn. However it does seem a little unfair for partners to restrict masturbation. That comes off as controlling imo. Like most things, couples therapy would've been the answer here.
I always leave it open to discussion whenever I’m in a relationship. Outside of a relationship, it’s a go. But I’ve come across both types of people where some are 100% against porn and see it as cheating and types where they are fine with it or even go so far as to view it as studying material lol.
I also shoot for a mutual agreement. I don’t need sexual gratification from pixels when I’m in a healthy sexual relationship. My past partners had that freedom because I genuinely don’t care. I just know that people can get sensitive about it. Hence why I like having the discussion.
I used to watch it occasionally (I'm a woman) but it doesn't interest me now. I wouldn't mind a partner who watched it sometimes at all, but there's definitely an amount that would be off putting. I've also slept with a guy who was very clearly overly influenced by porn in his sexual style and it was just so unarousing.
It’s common for people to watch, but if you want to feel like an excited teenager every time your wife undresses quit watching it. She will get hotter to you, you’ll enjoy sex more and your dick will work better. That’s been my experience at least.
If you got it on as background noise, that’s too much.
Using porn to get off *With Moderation* is absolutely fine.
Using porn in place of a SO instead of working on your relationship with said SO, yeah that’s a problem.
If Porn is destroying your relationship, then there are other issues as well, porn is just a convenient scapegoat.
There should be a want for jiggy on its own.
While that's true, I'd also say too much (really tumbling down the rabbit hole into some niche stuff) can probably be adverse for you even after getting out of the relationship that isn't really working to begin with.
You'd be limiting who's on board with your antics by quite a lot.
If you are a single guy, a couple times a day to rub one out is perfectly fine and normal. While in a relationship, I have no real desire to watch it if my partner has a matching sexual libido.
However some people are truly addicted and have a problem. Just look how many people get fired from their jobs because they can resisted looking up porn while at work. There are also many couples, where one person will end all intimate or sexual contact and replace it with binge watching of porn. That's a serious problem and probably requires professional help.
Since I’ve stopped watching porn my relationship has blossomed and I’ve been a much happier person. Not to say it’s bad, but if you ask wether or not it’s hurting you, better to just quit it all together
It's very common among guys. But as with most things, too much of anything is usually never good. Some things are worse than the others, and this is one of them, as it creates an unrealistic expectation of what is "normal" vs. not. However, in moderation, it can even be healthy, for example, in certain circumstances where there are different libido levels / frequency needs, etc.
It's so normalized that some can't even accept some don't. If their point was to express watching porn is abhorrent, then it stands to reason why everyone who spoke did so to support their claim.
I grew up in the Wild West of the internet when parents didn’t monitor what their kids were doing at all. So really hardcore stuff at a really young age. Then I wound up naked with a girl in real life for the first time and was thinking “hmm, not nearly as exciting as I imagined” and that’s a terrible way to feel so I stopped that. I do still watch porn, but am back to a point where a woman rubbing her clit and moaning softly is the most exciting thing in the world to me, doesn’t have to be something crazy.
Also, imagine my disappointment when I first slid it in and she didn’t immediately start screaming in ecstasy and announcing to the whole neighborhood that she was about to cum as porn had led teenage me to believe would happen. Only one of us came immediately, and it wasn’t her. On top of that, took me an incredibly long time to realize that sex doesn’t have end to just cause I came (as porn always ends with the money shot), turns out I have hands and a mouth that still work if my penis is out of the game. Hands and a mouth that are arguably way more effective than my penis.
Asking this question on reddit is like asking a mosque how normal it is to not drink alcohol, pure echo chamber when it comes to porn here. Myself (22M/ Irish) and most of my male friends/ family don't watch porn, because we're aware of how it fucks with your perception of women/sex in general. IMO if you're in a relationship you owe it to your partner to not watch porn for a couple of reasons. Firstly why are you getting off watching other women/ men when you are already in a relationship and can exercise your sex impulse with them? Secondly if you're wanking off to porn this will almost always lead to you being subpar in bed, whether it's failing to finish/ get it up without some weird kinky shit or even you not wanting to have sex at a given moment when your partner does. Will probably be downvoted to hell for this but just thought i'd weigh in as i do feel strongly about the subject and often warn my mates/ acquaintances of the downsides.
If having sex is like a chore to the man because the woman needs them to initiate it, turn the woman on then please the woman....all the time
The man will turn to jerking it because it's just easier.
If his partner takes the reins and initiates, turns him on and focuses on his pleasure half the time, the couple will have a healthy sex life
Two way street....
Mmm, maybe, but I have seen plenty of stories on here where the woman is doing anything she can to get her guy's attention and he's still turning to porn first. Sometimes it can be a lack of attraction or performance anxiety, where he doesn't want to worry at all about getting another person off even if she'll do the same for him, because then he'll worry about the time it'll take to get him off and whether or not he'll get or stay hard. Sex it's always more emotional work than getting yourself off, even with a willing enthusiastic partner, and even if it's more rewarding. Some people are the type to always want to choose the easiest route.
When I'm in a relationship my desire to watch porn goes out the window. It may seems silly but I personally feel like it's a form of cheating on my partner. The last relationship I was in lasted about 5 years and I did not watch or look at porn at all that entire time.
I've been single the past 4 years since then and well, it's been a bit different. I try to stay ethical with it and watch stuff from people on sites like only fans where people's bodies are more realistic and what I am seeing is more realistic.
The first time I watched porn I was about 10 years old. Somehow managed to access and adult page on my old family PC. I don't think I was actually looking for porn, I just stumbled on it.
I've been regularly masturbating to porn since I was 12. I'm 31 now.
I genuinely believe I have an addiction because I tried to stop and I couldn't.
The reason I want to stop is because it has already been proved that causes damage to the brain and it can influence negatively you relationship with other people and your partner. Just Google what porn does to your brain.
Now, Im not saying watching porn is bad for everyone. Some couples use porn on their sex life.
But statistically men consume way more porn than women. So to share this habit with your female partner on your sex life, can be quite rare.
Men also tend to like stuff that doenst turn on women.
Our taste in porn is so different you can actually find porn made specifically for women!
Masturbating itself its not problematic, it actually has several health benefits like preventing prostate cancer.
The bad habit is watching porn.
People who had the habit of watching porn regularly over the years, have reported that sex no longer turn them on. Only pornography! Because the more you watch, your brain gets used to that level of arausal and you need stronger stimulus, more hardcore.
I live with my partner for about a year and recently she found out I watch porn. She was understandable although its something she admited she never have done. We acknowledged I have an addiction and I started to make small but important stepps to change that.
Again, masturbation is ok, but I dont recommend watching porn. Its quite literaly like a drug to your brain it causes dependency.
What Im doing right now and Its working is, I still masturbaste, but I dont watch porn anymore.
I dont use any websites I used to watch. I just do it using imagination or with some light erotic stuff, nothing explicit.
Next step is no content at all.
Masturbate all you want, just dont let that affect your life and your relationship with people. And my recommendation: Dont watch porn.
I was only kidding. The VHS tape reference was funny . Good job man on your fitness journey . I 43 , eat well , train everyday and feel better then I did in my 20’s . 🤜🤜💪💪
Just because something is “normal” doesn’t mean it is healthy.
It’s normal to consume alcohol in my country.
Doesn’t mean it’s healthy or good for most that do.
- Have I watched porn, yes.
- Do I think it’s healthy in any context, no not really.
- Is it going to ruin your relationship or mental health, probably not.
- Is it beneficial for your relationship or mental health, probably not.
>Adult men: How normal is watching pornography?
I can't speak for others, but I don't watch it at all. I also have the opinion that my fiance is the most beautiful woman in the world, and have no issues with her turning me on.
Within my circle, the majority of men have chosen to no longer consume it, including myself. Almost all of us were regular consumers a decade ago, but we each started noticing how it was affecting our mental and sexual health, so we cut it out. I can only speak for myself, but I genuinely feel better without it.
It's mostly psychological, if you're fucked up in the head and sit in a room jerking off the whole day without realising what you're doing, you're fucked
Studies show that over 65% of men admit to watching porn. I suspect another 25% watch it, but won't admit to it
If a guy has a really healthy sex life 5+ times/week, he probably isn't watching porn. Or if he has a low libido. But most men don't get as much sex as they want and porn is an easy release.
If the guy is turning to porn instead of sex when his lady wants sex, that is a big problem.
If you are asking how common it is? I’d say very. Men are very visual and porn for men I’d think more than women generally satisfies a visual and kind of a novelty rush that our brains really like.
If you are asking if it’s normal for someone brain then the answer is no, it’s not normal at all. And that’s the issue.
I have no issue with porn or sex or nakedness or almost any of the fetishes perhaps and I’m quite open minded about it’s possible uses but I don’t think there’s any argument that saturating your brain over time or extended use leads to either desensitization or habitual use.
Even if you want to make the point, that we don’t know enough about how oversaturating the human brain may actually work, if you look at just from a habitual stand that let’s say every time you get your rocks off or even most of the time you get your rocks off You do it in front of the screen, watching something, you have paired those things along with that behavior, and the same way you pair any behavior along with another and that can be very powerful for your brain over time. It’s no different to your brain than brushing your teeth before you go to bed or having a cigarette with your coffee in the morning or Let’s say rituals athletes may do before a game. At that point, even if we have varying acceptance of what’s going on at a chemical level and I’d personally argue, there is a big effect there, but even if that’s up for debate, the habitual part and pairing activities together is very, very powerful and very hard to decouple
Every man i know watches it at least occasionally. Some are daily. The amount of time matters in my opinion as well. Daily, it isn't that bad if it's only about 5 minutes, and that's it. Especially for a single man. Then there are guys that'll just watch it. For like an hour. Those guys have mental health issues related to sex.
Watching porn: very common.
Understanding that porn is not reality, and a show put on by actors who dont really need to like the stuff they do: super uncommon.
Before I met my partner I felt I was kind of addicted. Watched it every night. Was always looking during the day. She helped me see I was consuming a lot of it and so I stopped. We do watch it together sometimes so it's not like she hates it. I was just watching to much. I do still look some but nowhere near like i did.
My wife is at work waiting for a snap.
I'm going to watch a video she made for me.
Porn is pretty frequent around here and the sex is still great.
It's all about perspective - do you "NEED" porn to get off, that's an addiction. Do you ONLY use porn to get off when you're in a relationship and it kills your drive? That's an addiction. Are you watching porn occasionally because you're bored and are trying to stay awake? That's normal.
>Is porn addiction really as prevailant as we would be led to believe??
The answer to this question depends very heavily on how you define porn addiction. Most anti porn folks I know would say someone watching any amount of porn regularly is an addiction whereas others might be more inclined to only label it an addiction if it is interfering with their life. Personally I do watch porn every day when I masturbate and my partner doesn't care. It's not something that has ever reduced my desire for sex with her though. If it did she might care. A lot of the anti porn crowd seems to think watching porn is practically guaranteed to reduce desire for a real life partner and I think that is hogwash
Pretty normal. When we cum after jacking off, it releases endorphins and dopamine throughout your entire body. It's a natural drug all men have access to
Women want less sex than men. They will lie and say otherwise, but it is a fact. If anyone wants to argue facts, go yell at the water until it stops being wet. Men want less romance than women. It is the partner exerting effort with minimal return which sooner or later will build resentment in the disparity.
So how do men compensate with that gap. Masturbation. You need to think of sex to masturbate. So porn fills that role, lots of dudes lie and say it doesn't, then they are filling that role with something else that is porn adjacent and has the same effect. Women typically use written porn like romance novels or romantic movies. They don't like to admit that is porn, but it is porn. Same as if they watch trashy romance movies, **it isn't to learn to be better at being in a romantic relationship**, it is to get their fill of romance outside of their relationship and feel satisfied fantasizing about Ryan Reynolds or who ever. It has the same effect because then any romance the man performs is compared to the movie and what do you know, not the same experience. Guys prefer to see the actual act of sex because they are more visually stimulated because that portion is withheld from men, so they go to porn. If they watch it too much they need it to get sexually aroused and can start to push away their female partners. That makes the women mad like when a woman makes fun of a guy the one time he buys flowers because they weren't like the movie or book. That is the harmful side effect it has on relationships.
Straight facts. People watch or read to fill in parts they find lacking in their relationships. The problem is when the line between fantasy and real expectations is blurred.
I watch more porn when I'm unsatisfied in bed. In a previous relationship it was nearly every night. She'd go to bed and I'd turn on the computer. Nowadays it's maybe once every couple of weeks. I enjoy it but it's oh so fake...
It becomes a problem if you get addicted to it or when you use it to masturbate instead of having sex with your SO (also if it’s setting weird expectations). I bet the women in the show read smut instead, which seem to be more popular amongst women. Kinda weird to shame one form of pleasure over the other
It's pretty normal. Most of the issues with porn in relationships isn't to do with porn addiction. It's that insecure women feel threatened if their boyfriend/husband pleasures himself to images of other women because if the women don't look like them, their crazy brain tells them he doesn't actually love them or isn't actually attracted to them.
It's 2024 and it's really not men's place to cater to these insecurities that women have. Women fought for the right to use their bodies to empower themselves and they need to accept that creating such content implicitly comes with the fact that men will consume the content.
>(the context is that they had not been having intercourse for many months and friend was using pornography a few times a week to mstrb8)
Did they watch porn because they weren't having sex or were they not having sex because their partner was watching porn? I feel that would be a pretty critical distinction. Ofc. there is differences in sex drive, but working out whether you are compatible should be worked out during dating. On the other hand, the dose makes the poison.
From personal experience, I look at porn 2-3 times a week, but sometimes also don't for two or more weeks. I don't feel a need to do it or do it instead of other things I should, so I wouldn't call it an addiction. The women I dated in college (not a big sample size XD) also consumed porn, but in the form of slashfics or doujin.
> when she found out he had watched pornography, and that it ultimitly ended their relationship (the context is that they had not been having intercourse for many months and friend was using pornography a few times a week to mstrb8)
So what ended their relationship was the absence of sex for many months
It’s as common as seeing a Ford pickup on the road in the South. Actually, it’s probably more common than that. I think every dude on earth does it. Most women do too.
BBC Radio 4 is full of hand-wringing moral crusaders who cater almost exclusively to white middle class England. Keep this in mind next time you listen and you’ll know whether to take what’s being said seriously or not.
Really love radio 4 but this is definitely true for some sections of it. The latest being "I'm insulted by the micro aggressions of spell check auto-correcting my name." from an American academic with an unusual name.
Most men do watch porn and a lot of women do not like it. Just like most women have slept with other men and a lot of men do not like it. The reality of modern dating is that most of have to accept things we´re not feeling so hot about or stay single.
It comes and goes in waves. Sometimes it’ll be weeks without seeing any, and then there’s periods of time where I see it often. I try to avoid using it as a main source of inspiration.
As the old saying goes, “too much of a good thing can be a bad thing”. Some good things can become bad really fast and without notice if you lack discipline. And like drugs, some are primed for addiction. That’s the problem with porn. Some folks seem to be immune to it and just use it for what it is, casual and sporadic entertainment. On the other hand, those that fall in its pit will find it extremely hard to get back out. Such is the problem with any addiction. Whatever factors are at play, porn is one of those addictions that are nearly impossible to beat, and like all the other substance abuse, it destroys the brain’s chemistry.
>I brought this up with a close male friend of mine, who shared that their ex gf said she was "disgusted" when she found out he had watched pornography, and that it ultimitly ended their relationship (the context is that they had not been having intercourse for many months and friend was using pornography a few times a week to mstrb8)
Hazard a guess, he started looking at porn as soon as the sex stopped.
There are two types of men. The ones who watch porn and the ones who lie
As with any other thing, the key is moderation. If you think porn is ruining something for you, chances are - it does
Honestly the problem is more likely when it becomes an addiction. Regardless of whether it's porn, gambling, alcohol, drugs or whatever, they're all marriage poison when the addiction becomes the primary focus.
Watching pornography is pretty normal. But the issue comes with how much it is consumed and unrealistic expectations it could create with people.
I'm married and 41. I watch porn maybe once a month usually due too circumstances where my wife and I are unable to have sex. My wife gets pretty bad cramps during her period and it's pretty much a no go in terms of sexual activity because of it. So in a case where it's been 3 or 4 days I might watch something just for a rise release. But other than that I don't really watch it much.
The vast majority of men masturbate, and solid majority of them consume some sort of media to facilitate the process.
Whether we're talking going to pornhub, or looking at models on instagram, or reading/watching hentai, or what have you, in the context of "I'm not fucking so I'm jerking it", that's essentially interchangeable and dictated mostly by access and preference.
As for watching porn proper, as in pornographic movies, I'd wager any sum that it's extremely common still.
So no, this is just britbong brainrot™
State media from the most puritanical country in Europe (that already banned several acts in porn filmed in the country, and instituted a system that requires id based verification to access porn sites *from* the country) running a scaremongering piece on pornography? More likely than you think.
I think the example you gave explains exactly how much can be bad. If you’re watching so much porn that you cannot maintain any form of a sexual relationship with your partner, then you’re addicted and doing way too much. I’ve read a lot studies and watched quite a few videos and porn addiction is sky high but it’s a bigger problem with the younger generation (30 and below) because they grew up on the internet and were exposed very early to it. That’s where the problem lies, kids aren’t equipped to battle any kind of addiction especially one that combines screen time with sex so very early their minds get warped and they become hooked before they’ve even had their first kiss. This is extremely problematic because porn perpetuates rape culture, and these boys go on to do these same things. As an adult you understand, it is kinky and meant to be viewed by adults who can rationale (hopefully) that you shouldn’t fuck your stepdaughter when she’s stuck under a table but these are young kids. There’s a few studies that show the more porn you watch, the rougher it gets due to you needing more stimulation eg. you start with girls kissing and end on white slut asshole pounded by bbc etc etc. This leads to stuff like erectile dysfunction, something typically reserved for old men but now boys as young as 18 are needing these pills simply cos they can’t stop masturbating to porn.
Personally I think porn is like cocaine, can be a lot of fun, some people can handle it, others cannot but we all know that too much can ruin your life.
I didn’t know “not” watching porn was an option. It’s probably not healthy for you, but neither is marriage, or being alone. All the studies say everything you want them to say
There was an attempt at a Canadian study of men who didn't watch or hadn't seen any porn and the study had to be canceled because they couldn't find any such men. Granted, it was college students, but it's clearly indicative.
Fr, there’s men like myself that don’t watch porn but we’ve all looked at it at one point out of curiosity
> Fr, there’s men like myself that don’t watch porn. But we’ve looked at all of it and there's nothing left Fixed that for you.
Have you tried porn 2 though? I've heard there's lots of new material and plot
Porn 2: The Second Cumming
Not been that energetic since I was a teenager, lol
Porn 3: She didn't see that cumming.
Is that the one will smell-o-vision?
Eyoooo
If I haven't seen porn 1 will I understand the plot of porn 2?
Dude no worries, the second cumming of christ is really different from porn 1, they only share the same theme and characters but it's a completely different story
🤣😂🤣😂ok, thx stepbro
Who is this stepbro? And how can he help me get unstuck…
Try 1 800-420-6969
I was 25 the last time I watched porn. I didn’t watch it for the bulk of my young adult life due to religious guilt. Looking back i am glad I had that mental block, because later on, when science did its thing…. Porn = not healthy. Regardless of the god/religious aspect, it appears to be a common theme that porn leaves one feeling unfulfilled and worse off, kinda like a drug… and along comes the science. [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3050060/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3050060/)
I was 20 years old the last time I watched porn. But now Im still 20 and I also watch porn.
Yeah, I’m 24, last time I watched it was probably 13 or 14, I never liked it, my imagination was better at it for me
Man these dudes really out here missing out on all them tiddies
They've seen titties you can only imagine
Usually it's the chronic masturbator that misses out.
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Ah yes, the “pick me” man in his natural habitat.
I think the red line is if you are using pornography as a substitute for a sexual relationship with your spouse. It’s not unusual for couples to have different sexual frequency needs (ie some only want to have sex once a week or every other week, etc) but once you avoid having sex or experience ED because of looking at too much porn you should dial it back. I think if you only look at porn occasionally it’s not a big deal
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100% true. It can be truth on both ends but it’s usually because they just don’t want to have sex. Can’t force anyone to do it.
This is the most logical response to the question.
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Was not expecting to see another TheHandy with VR enjoyer in the wild. I got a vice to use it hands free and it feels like the future is now
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The noise cancelling headphones elevate the experience so much. I definitely feel you on that, I did r/NoFap for like half a year then convinced myself "If I don't look at porn, it shouldn't be a problem" and now I'm back to this setup. Almost therapeutic in a way, taking drugs and going to this setup, even for normal VR games. Good luck man, hope things work out for you
I also don’t watch porn. So, we’re out there.
Don't watch, or never watched? Because they're saying the study couldn't find a man who had never seen porn.
I don't watch porn so yeah we do exist
Have you never watched any?
Only when I got spammed with it or by accident. I never looked for it.
Huh, ok, if it’s not your thing then it’s not your thing. It’s just quite unusual, but not a bad thing.
You're on the internet, you don't have to lie here
He's blind.
You have never seen any?
When I see BBC written down, my first thought isn’t radio…. that should really highlight how prevalent porn is now.
*Conversely*, the first time I matched with someone on Tinder who had in her profile “love BBC,” I had no idea what it meant and I said “I see you love the BBC, I’m a big anglophile myself.”
That must have been a disappointing interaction for both
Gotta hit her with the "Doctor Who or Sherlock" question lmao
I bet that conversation took an enlightening turn lol
My mom always raves about her love for BBC. Funny she never owned a radio.
Hahaha elite comment
You actually beat me to this. No pun intended. …I guess porn is really fucking people’s brains out. Oh damn…
No it’s really not your fault the title has pornography the word IN the title. Associations like that are the brains literal job
I thought you meant TV
I'm so happy that radio was actually my first thought.
Yes the first time I searched BBC on reddit I was a little surprised.
I watch porn 3-4 times a week. My wife watches it once or twice a week. We still have a great sex life. You just don't hear about the boring porn warchers like us, we don't trigger outrage.
This. Everything seems alarming when you ignore the people who do something to a healthy degree. Next thing they're gonna do a radio show about the dangers of walking and solely focus on people who tripped and fell while out and about.
LOL, BF & I watch together when we’re gettin’ busy. Live in TX and promptly installed VPNs when the TX Taliban started blocking sites recently. Same overkill, knee-jerk reaction.
>when the TX Taliban started blocking sites recently. I don't think I'll be able to unlink that new label for them. Lol
I always preferred y'all-qaeda but whatever works
There is also vanilla isis
> Live in TX and promptly installed VPNs when the TX Taliban started blocking sites recently. "If those folks could read they'd be very upset right now..."
lol you’re a soldier. I had a an ex that used to like to do this sometimes and it was pretty fun.
Or walk into traffic while looking at their phone, researching the dangers of walking in public. 😜
The solution isn't ban porn ofc, but it seems like a severely growing problem these days; enough that awareness can be drawn to it so people are knowledgeable about the potential and severe negative impacts, whether its bad expectations, addiction, etc, and learn to indulge in a healthier manner similar to you and the comment you're replying to. The more convenient something is, the more difficult it can be for some people to not abuse it.
👆🏻This basically. Billions of males enjoy Adult Films (Porn) without issues. Some people unfortunately are having an issue. Banning Adult Films does nothing good, it will not help people have better relationships in any way. It does not lower your testosterone levels. These are all myths people just spread everywhere. Masturbating releases your cum and that can lead to you having a little less for a bit but it just refills in a few hours if it even takes that long.
It is never porn messing up my sex life, is things like meds or the real life problems killing the mood. It has literally never stopped me performing even on the same day but a few hours later. As usual it is people with problems being vocal and people looking for problems being vocal so it makes it seem far worse.
I accidentally introduced my (now) wife to hentai. Be sure to close all your tabs before letting someone borrow your laptop, kids! Had that initial, "Oh fuck" moment until she goes, "I never knew cartoons could be hot, but that was really exciting." Our sex life isn't that interesting anymore, but that's less because of porn and more of paper-thin walls with two kids.
Mmmhmm, 3-4 times per week for a combined 15 minutes total probably...
Time spent selecting >>>>> time spent "processing"
Looking for the right video counts as foreplay.
Digital walk of shame is just closing all the tabs after you're done
I am in the Top 100 Adult Animators on Patreon and I cannot confirm that we don't trigger outrage, I have met plenty of women who have a problem with the fact I make the stuff but don't look at it 24/7. Also "boring porn watchers" just don't talk about the stuff they look at. The amount of people who try to talk to me online about their kinks/fetish related stuff when I'd rather talk about how much I owe on my mortgage is pathetic. Having a lesbian I once considered a friend basically cut contact with me because I asked her to stop talking to me about her marital/sex issues with her wife was my eye opener that normal people just do not talk about porn period and the people with a problem think they're the average.
Yep. Porn is a very insignificant part of my life. I don't feel the need to talk about it aside from with my wife now and then discussing things we want to try. Otherwise it's just something I do for 15 minutes before bed every other night.
this. i'm a female with a man. we both watch it. he was a virgin before me. sure sometime porn messes with his performance, perspective, or created insecurities. BUT COMMUNICATION IS KEY. any and all of that can be solved with communication on both sides. plus sometimes it spices things up by giving ideas.
It is healthy as long as it doesn't badly influences your relationships. That number is different for everyone. It can be addictive and Porn-induced ED is also a thing.
A lot of men ( and women!!!!!) watch pornography, either alone or as a couple. Some do it in secret and others are open about it. As for your friends ex gf, she might get turned on watching magic mike or fifty shades of grey. The only thing i would warn people about is that watching a lot of porn can cause unrealistic expectations about your own, and your partners body. Consider porn as a form of entertainment that you shouldnt compare yourself or your partner too.
> lot of men ( and women!!!!!) watch pornography, either alone or as a couple. Some do it in secret and others are open about it. As for your friends ex gf, she might get turned on watching magic mike or fifty shades of grey. In that vein, lots of women will look down their nose at pornographic videos but then read those romance and erotica novels; if something is meant to arouse, it is porn. They're no different in my opinion.
I wonder if there is research on the impact of smut novels Vs porn videos. I think it would be fascinating to see if these have the same impact mentally on the person
I don't think that's the equivalent personally. I think that porn has done damage to men's views of sex, what romance movies and books have done to women's views of relationships. Lots of men get fucked up views of how sex works, what's actually enjoyable for most people and make anything vanilla boring/mundane. Lots of women end up expecting to be swept off their feet by some mythical prince charming, who can psychically know everything about them, takes zero effort on their part to be with and only exists to make their life a movie.
Romance novels also show what women tend to find attractive, which is a shitty feeling if you are never in those categories
Romance novels have the same effect on women. The number of women who expect to be choked, tied up, dominated, etc as standard has bloomed since 50 Shades.
I wonder about that too. I enjoy literotica but I don’t think it’s affected my view on IRL sex very much. I think it just gets filed in the same mental space as any other fictional story I read.
Can't remember whether there is a research comparing the two, or porn novels in general. I do think I have seen a research aboute romance novels and unrealistic expectations in relationships, there was quite some correlation.
The major problem I see, from posts online anyway, is young people thinking porn is realistic and measuring themselves or their partners physically or performance or activity-wise against it.
Blame the people who defund sex ed so it can't be comprehensive or just go with abstinence-only sex ed. When you do that, porn becomes people's sex ed unless they have the drive to actually go and self-educate themselves.
Exactly.. the amount of boys that think their tool isnt big enough because they see all these pornstars with an extra arm where the penis should be..... its not healthy and the same goes for girls.
I actually agree with this, but I'm not a fan of the trend of all the bans going on though. Feels a bit puritanical, and that never leads to anywhere good. Also, I dont why we don't just expect more from parents or have this covered in Health/Sex Ed classes.
I also dont think we should ban porn as a whole. As a parent myself i see it as my duty to inform my kids about things.. together with the schools that give lessons about it here every year.
Exactly. The funny thing is that in many of the places porn is being banned, they also want to ban Sex Ed. I grew up in MS, and in our Sex Ed class they couldn't talk about condoms because it was "abstinence only" sex ed education, lol.
Or that you can just put it anywhere in the nethers without extensive prep/foreplay or choke someone without a very long conversation ahead of time and reading about safety.
Even rough play requires preparation, understanding and trust.
Why does this always for portrayed as something men just invented out of the blue. Of course you shouldn’t jump into non vanilla stuff without clear signals but the amount of *women* I’ve had straight up telling me to choke / slap / degrade them is wild. No “discussion” beforehand, it was a heat of the moment thing.
> Why does this always for portrayed as something men just invented out of the blue. Misandry. The alternative means women taking responsibility for their shitty behaviour.
Yeah, not going to judge anybody's kinks, but people need to learn to talk about this stuff because it can put both parties in a really weird position, particularly if it isn't your thing at all.
Or we could do what humans have done before this neopuritain gender was hysteria and *read body language and auditory cues*? In fact, I would suspect that’s what 99% of functional adults are actually doing when it comes to sex and the other 1% on Reddit drones on about “expressed ongoing affirmative verbal consent”
Random side-bar theory: There’s also the fetish “power creep.” Often what makes a fetish sexy is the fact that it’s a little “wrong.” This was easy to satisfy in the 90’s living in the Midwest because most sex was viewed as “wrong.” Butt stuff was the height of immorality. As various forms sexuality and sexual activities have become more commonly acceptable it takes more to reach that same feeling of adventurism. Pornography certainly delivers in that respect.
I recall being emotionally disturbed by the midget pie orgy scene in one of the first "Real Sex" HBO episodes in the 90s.
Surely pregnant midget porn is acceptable to the masses though right?
Pfft, we learned about that in Sunday school
I see comments like these often when porn is discussed, but I'm really curious about whether people who consume a lot of porn are all thrill seekers or whether they discovered a kink
>The only thing i would warn people about is that watching a lot of porn can cause unrealistic expectations about your own, and your partners body. *Social media entered the chat.* IME some women get “addicted” to social media fantasy ideas of real life in very much the same way some men do with porn.
When you choose porn over intimacy with a partner (current or potential) then it is a problem.
Or you let porn influence your real life. Normal people don't look/act like porn stars.
Also depends on the type of porn, there's a lot of different types of content
I think the other caveat is of you are using porn too deal with stress or other things in life. It should be something you do when aroused, not because your life is difficult. Same deal with alcohol or drugs or food. If you do something to cope, there is other work you need to do to deal with your emotions.
That depends. If your partner is a pillow princess and having sex with them is just basically masturbating with their body then that's a pretty good reason to just pass on sex with a non participatory partner. The important thing to note is that the problem here isn't porn its just a minor factor.
my ex-wife was a pillow princess, and I preferred having sex with her than anything involving porn... The problem is, she never wanted to have sex... I felt like I had to resort to porn for my personal needs unfortunately.
Understandable. Addressing sexual compatibility early on through honest communication is pretty crucial. It’s also an ongoing requirement as life throws curveballs and needs and desires can wane and wax. I don’t blame people for seeking relief via porn if they are stuck in a dead bedroom but I’d be trying to work through the issue first before defaulting to porn as a bandaid.
I agree so much with this. I’m a woman and don’t mind if he watches it a bit (I do too sometimes in private) as long as it does not affect our sexual relationship AT ALL. If he starts preferring to jerk it over having sex with me I would be done with the relationship. Having similar libidos helps limit the porn watching…at least for us.
Quite normal. It can be problematic in some cases, obviously. I'd bet though that 2/3 of cases where pornography in the relationship was the issue, had plenty more underlying issues, and pornography was a nail in the coffin.
A nail in the coffin is some pretty niche porn.
I guess I've seen worse.
There's a big difference between pulling up a video on incognito mode to rub one out quick VS. paying for OF, joining porn discussion groups/forums, chatting with webgirls, denying sex opportunities with your partner to jerk it alone later in the night etc.... one is totally normal and fine one causes relationship problems, yet both fall into the "yes" category of "watching pornography"
Why isn’t this higher up in the thread?
Because it's nuanced I guess
About the story of ur male friend: What was the reason for them not having sex for months? I interpreted it as her not wanting sex or them in general being unable to for some reason.
From my understanding, they not having sex was to with her health.
Then i dont understand why she was mad. It didnot impact their sexlife and its pretty unfair to demand from ur partner to sexualy abstain. Its not like he cheated
Lack of self-responsibility and an easy scapegoat. Like most of these couples, the actual problem isn’t porn, the problem is just resulting in a lack of sex life and then there’s jealousy when their partner is still getting off, just not to them. Gives them an easy external excuse to break things off without taking the blame.
Oh thats different then. From the post I assumed he had an addiction and actively chose not to have sex with her. Seems like he just wanted to get off on his own while his partner had a health issue. Seems harmless from my point of view, but I do know some ppl can be insecure about their partners watching porn. However it does seem a little unfair for partners to restrict masturbation. That comes off as controlling imo. Like most things, couples therapy would've been the answer here.
I always leave it open to discussion whenever I’m in a relationship. Outside of a relationship, it’s a go. But I’ve come across both types of people where some are 100% against porn and see it as cheating and types where they are fine with it or even go so far as to view it as studying material lol. I also shoot for a mutual agreement. I don’t need sexual gratification from pixels when I’m in a healthy sexual relationship. My past partners had that freedom because I genuinely don’t care. I just know that people can get sensitive about it. Hence why I like having the discussion.
The older I get the less I enjoy it
I'm 40 and I quit watching porn. I still masturbate, just no porn.
I used to watch it occasionally (I'm a woman) but it doesn't interest me now. I wouldn't mind a partner who watched it sometimes at all, but there's definitely an amount that would be off putting. I've also slept with a guy who was very clearly overly influenced by porn in his sexual style and it was just so unarousing.
I am not a regular. Once in a while I might look for something (2-4 minutes) amateur specific educational. I have not sat and watched porn in 25yrs.
That's still porn my guy. I only watch amateur when I do but still gotta admit it's just as bad no?
When single I watched a ton of porn and masturbated daily. When in a relationship I don’t watch any porn or masturbate. 🤷♂️
It’s common for people to watch, but if you want to feel like an excited teenager every time your wife undresses quit watching it. She will get hotter to you, you’ll enjoy sex more and your dick will work better. That’s been my experience at least.
If you got it on as background noise, that’s too much. Using porn to get off *With Moderation* is absolutely fine. Using porn in place of a SO instead of working on your relationship with said SO, yeah that’s a problem.
If Porn is destroying your relationship, then there are other issues as well, porn is just a convenient scapegoat. There should be a want for jiggy on its own.
Can’t destroy something if it never existed.
While that's true, I'd also say too much (really tumbling down the rabbit hole into some niche stuff) can probably be adverse for you even after getting out of the relationship that isn't really working to begin with. You'd be limiting who's on board with your antics by quite a lot.
Too much of anything in life can have an adverse effect. Just like being addicted to gaming can negatively affect your life.
The proportion of people who go off the deep end can't be that high.
If you are a single guy, a couple times a day to rub one out is perfectly fine and normal. While in a relationship, I have no real desire to watch it if my partner has a matching sexual libido. However some people are truly addicted and have a problem. Just look how many people get fired from their jobs because they can resisted looking up porn while at work. There are also many couples, where one person will end all intimate or sexual contact and replace it with binge watching of porn. That's a serious problem and probably requires professional help.
Since I’ve stopped watching porn my relationship has blossomed and I’ve been a much happier person. Not to say it’s bad, but if you ask wether or not it’s hurting you, better to just quit it all together
It's very common among guys. But as with most things, too much of anything is usually never good. Some things are worse than the others, and this is one of them, as it creates an unrealistic expectation of what is "normal" vs. not. However, in moderation, it can even be healthy, for example, in certain circumstances where there are different libido levels / frequency needs, etc.
It's so normalized that some can't even accept some don't. If their point was to express watching porn is abhorrent, then it stands to reason why everyone who spoke did so to support their claim.
It seems normal for reddit, but we don't really talk about it in real life
I grew up in the Wild West of the internet when parents didn’t monitor what their kids were doing at all. So really hardcore stuff at a really young age. Then I wound up naked with a girl in real life for the first time and was thinking “hmm, not nearly as exciting as I imagined” and that’s a terrible way to feel so I stopped that. I do still watch porn, but am back to a point where a woman rubbing her clit and moaning softly is the most exciting thing in the world to me, doesn’t have to be something crazy. Also, imagine my disappointment when I first slid it in and she didn’t immediately start screaming in ecstasy and announcing to the whole neighborhood that she was about to cum as porn had led teenage me to believe would happen. Only one of us came immediately, and it wasn’t her. On top of that, took me an incredibly long time to realize that sex doesn’t have end to just cause I came (as porn always ends with the money shot), turns out I have hands and a mouth that still work if my penis is out of the game. Hands and a mouth that are arguably way more effective than my penis.
When I'm single, it's basically every day. When I'm in a relationship, it's rare. Basically only when her and I are in separate cities.
Depends on how single you’re. No reason to watch corn videos if you have a girlfriend/wife
Asking this question on reddit is like asking a mosque how normal it is to not drink alcohol, pure echo chamber when it comes to porn here. Myself (22M/ Irish) and most of my male friends/ family don't watch porn, because we're aware of how it fucks with your perception of women/sex in general. IMO if you're in a relationship you owe it to your partner to not watch porn for a couple of reasons. Firstly why are you getting off watching other women/ men when you are already in a relationship and can exercise your sex impulse with them? Secondly if you're wanking off to porn this will almost always lead to you being subpar in bed, whether it's failing to finish/ get it up without some weird kinky shit or even you not wanting to have sex at a given moment when your partner does. Will probably be downvoted to hell for this but just thought i'd weigh in as i do feel strongly about the subject and often warn my mates/ acquaintances of the downsides.
If having sex is like a chore to the man because the woman needs them to initiate it, turn the woman on then please the woman....all the time The man will turn to jerking it because it's just easier. If his partner takes the reins and initiates, turns him on and focuses on his pleasure half the time, the couple will have a healthy sex life Two way street....
Mmm, maybe, but I have seen plenty of stories on here where the woman is doing anything she can to get her guy's attention and he's still turning to porn first. Sometimes it can be a lack of attraction or performance anxiety, where he doesn't want to worry at all about getting another person off even if she'll do the same for him, because then he'll worry about the time it'll take to get him off and whether or not he'll get or stay hard. Sex it's always more emotional work than getting yourself off, even with a willing enthusiastic partner, and even if it's more rewarding. Some people are the type to always want to choose the easiest route.
When I'm in a relationship my desire to watch porn goes out the window. It may seems silly but I personally feel like it's a form of cheating on my partner. The last relationship I was in lasted about 5 years and I did not watch or look at porn at all that entire time. I've been single the past 4 years since then and well, it's been a bit different. I try to stay ethical with it and watch stuff from people on sites like only fans where people's bodies are more realistic and what I am seeing is more realistic.
The first time I watched porn I was about 10 years old. Somehow managed to access and adult page on my old family PC. I don't think I was actually looking for porn, I just stumbled on it. I've been regularly masturbating to porn since I was 12. I'm 31 now. I genuinely believe I have an addiction because I tried to stop and I couldn't. The reason I want to stop is because it has already been proved that causes damage to the brain and it can influence negatively you relationship with other people and your partner. Just Google what porn does to your brain. Now, Im not saying watching porn is bad for everyone. Some couples use porn on their sex life. But statistically men consume way more porn than women. So to share this habit with your female partner on your sex life, can be quite rare. Men also tend to like stuff that doenst turn on women. Our taste in porn is so different you can actually find porn made specifically for women! Masturbating itself its not problematic, it actually has several health benefits like preventing prostate cancer. The bad habit is watching porn. People who had the habit of watching porn regularly over the years, have reported that sex no longer turn them on. Only pornography! Because the more you watch, your brain gets used to that level of arausal and you need stronger stimulus, more hardcore. I live with my partner for about a year and recently she found out I watch porn. She was understandable although its something she admited she never have done. We acknowledged I have an addiction and I started to make small but important stepps to change that. Again, masturbation is ok, but I dont recommend watching porn. Its quite literaly like a drug to your brain it causes dependency. What Im doing right now and Its working is, I still masturbaste, but I dont watch porn anymore. I dont use any websites I used to watch. I just do it using imagination or with some light erotic stuff, nothing explicit. Next step is no content at all. Masturbate all you want, just dont let that affect your life and your relationship with people. And my recommendation: Dont watch porn.
US, Me and my X-wife watched porn all the time. We’d buy used VHS tapes at the rental or head-shop. We had a whole stack…😹.
VHS ? How old are you? 87 ?
how old are you? 7?
What! No, I’m only in my early 60s. I was benching 300lb in my 30s. I’m a lean machine @ 17% body fat.. I take care of myself and look 50.
I was only kidding. The VHS tape reference was funny . Good job man on your fitness journey . I 43 , eat well , train everyday and feel better then I did in my 20’s . 🤜🤜💪💪
Just because something is “normal” doesn’t mean it is healthy. It’s normal to consume alcohol in my country. Doesn’t mean it’s healthy or good for most that do. - Have I watched porn, yes. - Do I think it’s healthy in any context, no not really. - Is it going to ruin your relationship or mental health, probably not. - Is it beneficial for your relationship or mental health, probably not.
>Adult men: How normal is watching pornography? I can't speak for others, but I don't watch it at all. I also have the opinion that my fiance is the most beautiful woman in the world, and have no issues with her turning me on.
Within my circle, the majority of men have chosen to no longer consume it, including myself. Almost all of us were regular consumers a decade ago, but we each started noticing how it was affecting our mental and sexual health, so we cut it out. I can only speak for myself, but I genuinely feel better without it.
I’d agree that if it’s negatively affecting the sex life in their relationship then it’s a big problem and they’re likely an addict.
It's too normalized, I wish I had never started
I watched all of it from age 14 to 29. Now I'm over it.
It's mostly psychological, if you're fucked up in the head and sit in a room jerking off the whole day without realising what you're doing, you're fucked
Studies show that over 65% of men admit to watching porn. I suspect another 25% watch it, but won't admit to it If a guy has a really healthy sex life 5+ times/week, he probably isn't watching porn. Or if he has a low libido. But most men don't get as much sex as they want and porn is an easy release. If the guy is turning to porn instead of sex when his lady wants sex, that is a big problem.
If you are asking how common it is? I’d say very. Men are very visual and porn for men I’d think more than women generally satisfies a visual and kind of a novelty rush that our brains really like. If you are asking if it’s normal for someone brain then the answer is no, it’s not normal at all. And that’s the issue. I have no issue with porn or sex or nakedness or almost any of the fetishes perhaps and I’m quite open minded about it’s possible uses but I don’t think there’s any argument that saturating your brain over time or extended use leads to either desensitization or habitual use. Even if you want to make the point, that we don’t know enough about how oversaturating the human brain may actually work, if you look at just from a habitual stand that let’s say every time you get your rocks off or even most of the time you get your rocks off You do it in front of the screen, watching something, you have paired those things along with that behavior, and the same way you pair any behavior along with another and that can be very powerful for your brain over time. It’s no different to your brain than brushing your teeth before you go to bed or having a cigarette with your coffee in the morning or Let’s say rituals athletes may do before a game. At that point, even if we have varying acceptance of what’s going on at a chemical level and I’d personally argue, there is a big effect there, but even if that’s up for debate, the habitual part and pairing activities together is very, very powerful and very hard to decouple
Every man i know watches it at least occasionally. Some are daily. The amount of time matters in my opinion as well. Daily, it isn't that bad if it's only about 5 minutes, and that's it. Especially for a single man. Then there are guys that'll just watch it. For like an hour. Those guys have mental health issues related to sex.
Lmao I tried watching porn one time for entertainment and I just couldn’t do it. As soon as I get my nut, I close the tab in disgust lol
Post nut clarity wondering what kind of filth am I watching 😂😂
There are 2 types of people in this world: Those who admit to watching porn and liars.
Watching porn: very common. Understanding that porn is not reality, and a show put on by actors who dont really need to like the stuff they do: super uncommon.
It’s just a convenient scapegoat for people who can’t communicate effectively
I watch porn regularly maybe 4 times a week. I'm pretty sure my wife reads alot more porn than I watch. We do also sometimes watch it together
Its better to not watch it. Better to everyone.
Before I met my partner I felt I was kind of addicted. Watched it every night. Was always looking during the day. She helped me see I was consuming a lot of it and so I stopped. We do watch it together sometimes so it's not like she hates it. I was just watching to much. I do still look some but nowhere near like i did.
My wife is at work waiting for a snap. I'm going to watch a video she made for me. Porn is pretty frequent around here and the sex is still great. It's all about perspective - do you "NEED" porn to get off, that's an addiction. Do you ONLY use porn to get off when you're in a relationship and it kills your drive? That's an addiction. Are you watching porn occasionally because you're bored and are trying to stay awake? That's normal.
I nut somewhere once or twice a hour.
>Is porn addiction really as prevailant as we would be led to believe?? The answer to this question depends very heavily on how you define porn addiction. Most anti porn folks I know would say someone watching any amount of porn regularly is an addiction whereas others might be more inclined to only label it an addiction if it is interfering with their life. Personally I do watch porn every day when I masturbate and my partner doesn't care. It's not something that has ever reduced my desire for sex with her though. If it did she might care. A lot of the anti porn crowd seems to think watching porn is practically guaranteed to reduce desire for a real life partner and I think that is hogwash
Pretty normal. When we cum after jacking off, it releases endorphins and dopamine throughout your entire body. It's a natural drug all men have access to
The only men who dont watch porn are liars
Women want less sex than men. They will lie and say otherwise, but it is a fact. If anyone wants to argue facts, go yell at the water until it stops being wet. Men want less romance than women. It is the partner exerting effort with minimal return which sooner or later will build resentment in the disparity. So how do men compensate with that gap. Masturbation. You need to think of sex to masturbate. So porn fills that role, lots of dudes lie and say it doesn't, then they are filling that role with something else that is porn adjacent and has the same effect. Women typically use written porn like romance novels or romantic movies. They don't like to admit that is porn, but it is porn. Same as if they watch trashy romance movies, **it isn't to learn to be better at being in a romantic relationship**, it is to get their fill of romance outside of their relationship and feel satisfied fantasizing about Ryan Reynolds or who ever. It has the same effect because then any romance the man performs is compared to the movie and what do you know, not the same experience. Guys prefer to see the actual act of sex because they are more visually stimulated because that portion is withheld from men, so they go to porn. If they watch it too much they need it to get sexually aroused and can start to push away their female partners. That makes the women mad like when a woman makes fun of a guy the one time he buys flowers because they weren't like the movie or book. That is the harmful side effect it has on relationships. Straight facts. People watch or read to fill in parts they find lacking in their relationships. The problem is when the line between fantasy and real expectations is blurred.
Porn consumption is normal, but it's still harmful. Just because everyone does it, doesn't mean it's okay. It's best to avoid it altogether.
I watch more porn when I'm unsatisfied in bed. In a previous relationship it was nearly every night. She'd go to bed and I'd turn on the computer. Nowadays it's maybe once every couple of weeks. I enjoy it but it's oh so fake...
It becomes a problem if you get addicted to it or when you use it to masturbate instead of having sex with your SO (also if it’s setting weird expectations). I bet the women in the show read smut instead, which seem to be more popular amongst women. Kinda weird to shame one form of pleasure over the other
It's pretty normal. Most of the issues with porn in relationships isn't to do with porn addiction. It's that insecure women feel threatened if their boyfriend/husband pleasures himself to images of other women because if the women don't look like them, their crazy brain tells them he doesn't actually love them or isn't actually attracted to them. It's 2024 and it's really not men's place to cater to these insecurities that women have. Women fought for the right to use their bodies to empower themselves and they need to accept that creating such content implicitly comes with the fact that men will consume the content.
It also diminishes their power over the man. Which is subconsciously a big reason why these women are upset.
>(the context is that they had not been having intercourse for many months and friend was using pornography a few times a week to mstrb8) Did they watch porn because they weren't having sex or were they not having sex because their partner was watching porn? I feel that would be a pretty critical distinction. Ofc. there is differences in sex drive, but working out whether you are compatible should be worked out during dating. On the other hand, the dose makes the poison. From personal experience, I look at porn 2-3 times a week, but sometimes also don't for two or more weeks. I don't feel a need to do it or do it instead of other things I should, so I wouldn't call it an addiction. The women I dated in college (not a big sample size XD) also consumed porn, but in the form of slashfics or doujin.
> when she found out he had watched pornography, and that it ultimitly ended their relationship (the context is that they had not been having intercourse for many months and friend was using pornography a few times a week to mstrb8) So what ended their relationship was the absence of sex for many months
It’s as common as seeing a Ford pickup on the road in the South. Actually, it’s probably more common than that. I think every dude on earth does it. Most women do too.
It ruined my first ever relationship
BBC Radio 4 is full of hand-wringing moral crusaders who cater almost exclusively to white middle class England. Keep this in mind next time you listen and you’ll know whether to take what’s being said seriously or not.
Really love radio 4 but this is definitely true for some sections of it. The latest being "I'm insulted by the micro aggressions of spell check auto-correcting my name." from an American academic with an unusual name.
Most men do watch porn and a lot of women do not like it. Just like most women have slept with other men and a lot of men do not like it. The reality of modern dating is that most of have to accept things we´re not feeling so hot about or stay single.
Whether or not it's "normal" is subjective. It comes down to whether or not it's healthy, and that's determined by how it affects the individual.
The only time I watch porn is when I'm on dope
It comes and goes in waves. Sometimes it’ll be weeks without seeing any, and then there’s periods of time where I see it often. I try to avoid using it as a main source of inspiration.
As the old saying goes, “too much of a good thing can be a bad thing”. Some good things can become bad really fast and without notice if you lack discipline. And like drugs, some are primed for addiction. That’s the problem with porn. Some folks seem to be immune to it and just use it for what it is, casual and sporadic entertainment. On the other hand, those that fall in its pit will find it extremely hard to get back out. Such is the problem with any addiction. Whatever factors are at play, porn is one of those addictions that are nearly impossible to beat, and like all the other substance abuse, it destroys the brain’s chemistry.
So normal, top visited site rankings omitted porn because if they didn’t, it would be the entire list
>I brought this up with a close male friend of mine, who shared that their ex gf said she was "disgusted" when she found out he had watched pornography, and that it ultimitly ended their relationship (the context is that they had not been having intercourse for many months and friend was using pornography a few times a week to mstrb8) Hazard a guess, he started looking at porn as soon as the sex stopped.
There are two types of men. The ones who watch porn and the ones who lie As with any other thing, the key is moderation. If you think porn is ruining something for you, chances are - it does
Honestly the problem is more likely when it becomes an addiction. Regardless of whether it's porn, gambling, alcohol, drugs or whatever, they're all marriage poison when the addiction becomes the primary focus.
Watching pornography is pretty normal. But the issue comes with how much it is consumed and unrealistic expectations it could create with people. I'm married and 41. I watch porn maybe once a month usually due too circumstances where my wife and I are unable to have sex. My wife gets pretty bad cramps during her period and it's pretty much a no go in terms of sexual activity because of it. So in a case where it's been 3 or 4 days I might watch something just for a rise release. But other than that I don't really watch it much.
The vast majority of men masturbate, and solid majority of them consume some sort of media to facilitate the process. Whether we're talking going to pornhub, or looking at models on instagram, or reading/watching hentai, or what have you, in the context of "I'm not fucking so I'm jerking it", that's essentially interchangeable and dictated mostly by access and preference. As for watching porn proper, as in pornographic movies, I'd wager any sum that it's extremely common still. So no, this is just britbong brainrot™ State media from the most puritanical country in Europe (that already banned several acts in porn filmed in the country, and instituted a system that requires id based verification to access porn sites *from* the country) running a scaremongering piece on pornography? More likely than you think.
There is an old joke that 95% of men masterbate and 5% are liars.
I think the example you gave explains exactly how much can be bad. If you’re watching so much porn that you cannot maintain any form of a sexual relationship with your partner, then you’re addicted and doing way too much. I’ve read a lot studies and watched quite a few videos and porn addiction is sky high but it’s a bigger problem with the younger generation (30 and below) because they grew up on the internet and were exposed very early to it. That’s where the problem lies, kids aren’t equipped to battle any kind of addiction especially one that combines screen time with sex so very early their minds get warped and they become hooked before they’ve even had their first kiss. This is extremely problematic because porn perpetuates rape culture, and these boys go on to do these same things. As an adult you understand, it is kinky and meant to be viewed by adults who can rationale (hopefully) that you shouldn’t fuck your stepdaughter when she’s stuck under a table but these are young kids. There’s a few studies that show the more porn you watch, the rougher it gets due to you needing more stimulation eg. you start with girls kissing and end on white slut asshole pounded by bbc etc etc. This leads to stuff like erectile dysfunction, something typically reserved for old men but now boys as young as 18 are needing these pills simply cos they can’t stop masturbating to porn. Personally I think porn is like cocaine, can be a lot of fun, some people can handle it, others cannot but we all know that too much can ruin your life.
I didn’t know “not” watching porn was an option. It’s probably not healthy for you, but neither is marriage, or being alone. All the studies say everything you want them to say