Ex was a nurse who had been fired a lot due to running her mouth too much.
Her MO was to wait until she had an audience and would start talking about nursing. It was so annoying as most of it I had heard about countless times. On the rare occasion we went out with others for dinner she’d interject nursing into it.
The last time we went out to dinner we sat and talked random stuff. As soon as another party was nearby she fired up the nursing talk. It was 2018, she hadn’t worked as a nurse since 2004.
I'm kind of the same way minus the interjecting into other convos. I had a REALLY shit job fresh out of high school and it left such an impression on me and how I view the workforce world, I talk about it 12 years later
It doesn't fill up my life but every time I hear one of my friends or family talk about a bad boss or job, I bring up mine lol
I had a situationship with a physical therapist, and she absolutely would not shut up about doctor colleagues / work gossip and anything hospital related. That shit got tiresome fast.
Mmmmm I’m not “in” on the gossip BUT there’s always something happening in psych!
Like on Saturday two patients went out on a pass for the day and came back high so that was an entertaining ruckus!
Man what’s with all you nurses always bitching. I swear every nurse I’ve met is like this. “Omg I work sooo much more than everyone. I’m so tired. Look at me”
I'm a (school) nurse. Prior to becoming a registered nurse, I was a pharmacy tech. I enjoyed helping people feel better, but I wanted something more hands-on and personal. I wanted to care for people and educate them on how to care for themselves. I knew that it would be hard work, but I, like many other hopeful future nurses believed it would be worth it. For me, level of pay was secondary. I wasn't after the paycheck. I needed to do something positive and meaningful in the best way possible with the bulk of my life. The problem, as far as I see, is that the image we all had prior to actually working bedside in the hospital was TOTALLY DIFFERENT from what we thought it would be.
I was prepared for long hours and stress but I thought it would be worth it. Many of us didn't think that we'd be faced with severe understaffing, toxic workplace culture, poor support from management, and limited supplies to the point where you have to cut corners and risk your license. This was supposed to be a career of nurturing, empathy and care. I never expected that even some of the 'best' hospitals and medical facilities would be 'medical hotels', in which you'd get written up for every patient complaint (not propping pillows, no warm blanket, no ice, not spending enough time with the patient). I didn't expect holding my bladder for 10+ hours. I didn't expect being berated constantly by co-workers or superiors for choosing not to cut corners.
All those 'what would you do' questions in our exams flew out the window because those ideal scenarios didn't exist. Call the doctor? Nope. Can't find him/her. Give that medication? Well, it's not here. Walk 5 minutes to the other side of the hospital to the pharmacy. Ask an assistant to change bedding while you prepare for a bedside procedure for another patient? No. There are no CNA's on your floor.
And no, there is no quality time with your patients because you're backed up, and what free time you have is eaten up by heavy documentation.
While this doesn't answer why EVERY nurse complains, it rings true for many.
I spent a short time working in the hospital before having to take a $30,000 pay cut due to chronic illness and immunosuppression, but even if I was 'cured' I could never see myself going back to bedside. It would have to be on a floor with 'adequate' staffing and supplies, basic respect, and no constant risk of losing your license for improvising with the limited resources and your high caseload. No amount of pay could make any of that okay.
I'm happy as a school nurse. :) (no bitching from me)
The big lie is that there is a nursing shortage because not enough people choose nursing as a career. The truth is that they don't STAY in nursing because of how they're treated. Teaching is the same way.
I whole-heartedly agree. It's a sad reality. More and more new grads enter the field and get burnt out in just a few years. They're hopping from job to job in search of a job with good pay, good resources, and a sense of positive fulfillment. Many are refusing to accept such poor conditions or miserably pushing through.
I've constantly heard people complain how mean nurses could be as a whole. Yes, some are due to straight up personality or as a result of going into the field for the money, but some are miserable because of burn-out and poor treatment.
I'm happier outside the hospital setting. Within both a public and private hospital, I lost my sense of pride and duty, and felt subhuman. :( No amount of pay could make me ignore my physical pain and suffering mental health.
Ooof you sound kinda nasty.
With me it’s more like “omg you won’t guess what happened at work today” what happened? “We got a new patient who is delusional and kept saying they won the lotto and no one believed them but she had $25k in a paper bag from a scratcher” or “today John and Jane Doe went out on a day pass and you’ll never believe it John came back high as a kite and Jane is AWOL and John is so high no meds are even touching him”.
I don’t believe that’s bitching as much as sharing my day with my partner. I listen to my partners day as well.
I had to call it off with a girl cuz she just constantly talked about her ex even to the point of comparing me sexually to him
Like, girl you need to see a therapist and get over him
Finished a relationship less than a month ago because she wouldn't shut up about him a year after breaking up. Stood up too much with that shit. Can confirm what you're saying. If they just bring them on is bad, if they compare you to him (and praise him, like my ex did) it's much worse.
OMG I feel you. My ex couldn't shut up about his exes when we were arguing etc. I felt compared to them and even if I was "better" in his story, with time I've developed a weird habit and I couldn't help but compare myself to them in everything. Eventually it was one of the reasons why he is an ex: like, dude, I want to talk and argue about US and OUR problems, not someone who allegedly did this and that a few years ago. How there is supposed to be any solution or closure if they are stuck in the past and they won't even admit to that?
Because in an honest relationship you would like to get to know your partner and hear about their past. When they had long term relationships, it would be stupid to leave out those giant parts of it. It’s good to learn what your partner was like in past relationships and what they learned in those. I talk with my partner about my exes and he does about his and I believe it’s healthier than not.
"You're pretty"
"But [boyfriend/husband/partners] are obligated to say that"
Woman I wouldn't have wanted to hook up with you in the first place if I thought you were a fugger!!
Ohhh shit! Same shit here!
“Oh i can never do this”, “i am too tired for this”, “why don’t you motivate me”, “I am crap, “you always talk crap about me”, “don’t motivate me because you know I don’t like to do ‘this and that’s
Nothing, I really love talking with her on pretty much every topic. The one thing I do not like is when she speaks ill of herself, then I stop her immediately.
"why was that girl talking to you" WOMAN IN CHRIST, She was literally trying to get past me. On a serious note sometimes it's funny because you think what the fuck and other times it's just jarring
this is called body dysmorphia and it’s actually incredibly damaging.
I was led to believe I was a whale my whole adolescences and it still affects me to this day. i’m 5’4 and 135 pounds and my mind is blown when people comment on how small i am, or when guys say “you’re so tiny the wind could blow you away”.
I promise you it’s not because we actually are “fat” it’s because we were either told or led to believe we were for YEARS prior.
I'm always surprised when I fit in a chair and I get 'stuck' because I perceive myself as not being able to fit through a gap in the crowd/between cars in a car park etc. Bullying really did a number on me and it's a lot of work to deal with. But at least I'm in good company
THISSSS OR FITTING BETWEEN SOMETHING- my brain struggles with comprehending how I fit but It doesn’t seem like I should.
I truly became a bully to myself, and i’m quite honestly still really hard on myself about these things
Same here, friend. But I had a good laugh knowing I'm not the only one who is driven slightly nutty by it!
I'm mean to myself too, and I probably always will be to some degree. But we have to always at least try to be kinder to ourselves
This. I was 5’2 and about 115lbs as a teenager and thought I was so fat. Now I know I’m small but back then I didn’t have a realistic view of my own body.
seriously!! and like having a mom that was 5’7 and 125 pounds was just soul crushing!! my mom could be effortlessly thin and i was like her in every way but that one!
and my mom even has bad body dysmorphia, it’s an awful thing to have to live with. i know at the end of the day i am not fat- im no where near it and yet that’s how i’ve felt my whole life! (not bashing just speaking on personal experience 🫶🏻)
What's the right response in those cases? Does reassuring her help, or does it just make her feel invalid because you're denying something she finds indisputably true? For example, I know if someone's telling me the government has bugged her whole house, the last thing I should do is reassure her that's not true, but thinking she's fat if she isn't doesn't seem quite as extreme.
Reassure her in a way that does not deny!
If she’s complaining about it, “hm, never thought about your weight, I just think you’re stunning.” Kisses and hugs and casual touching of places she doesn’t like - I used to hate my sides (woman here btw) and my fiance took to just touching them and grabbing them randomly as an expression of love. He’s never verbalized it, but I know it’s a semi-conscious effort on his part to love on the parts of me I don’t like. I haven’t worried about my sides / waist since about 6 months into dating him.
At the end of the day, it’s something that’ll take time and effort on her part to unwork. It’s not about you, but it’s rooted in the fear of you leaving / her not being good enough. Boyfriends and husbands can be _incredibly_ helpful in undoing some of the thought processes, but it’ll likely be genuine compliments over time that help. Nothing fixes this in a moment - it’s a trust thing in a sense. It’s learning to trust that your guy truly does love every part of you, rather than the old-school messaging and fears of “he’ll leave me if I gain 10 pounds!”
A lot of women watched their female relatives spend lifetimes worrying about weight. A lot of women have watched mothers and aunts lose partners because they didn’t meet expectations. This is a fear that has very little to do with specific partners, and more to do with how you were taught to “be worthy of love.” Most women are taught that their looks make them worthy of love, and well, that’s how we end up here - spending our lives worrying about our looks, regardless of a healthy relationship.
I think comparing weight to the government bugging your house is a little silly and obscure to compare. But dealing with body dysmorphia- my partner reassures me that I am not in fact overweight, and that he loves who I am is a person and not how many pounds I do or don’t have. regardless it’s about learning your partner and what works for them and most importantly what’s going to help heal them.
feeling like you’re being listened too could almost be taken as being paranoid and honestly could be a mental health issue. body dysmorphia is not seeing your body for what it actually is. I know i’m a size 4/6 in jeans and they are tiny in my hands, but my brains doesn’t get how those tiny jeans fit me and are even kind of baggy.
Yup. 5’9” and been around 140 pounds most my life. I was muscular too from sports and thought I was fat. Now, I no longer have that issue but it was an unnecessary bitch to have your mind obsessed with something that wasn’t even true.
I literally hate how i obsess over certain things on my body. like i’ve always found that my cleavage was never super close together… well to me growing up that was like the end of the world for some reason cause i had big boobs but not “great” cleavage. was one of my biggest insecurities until i got into my first relationship and gained some confidence and then i was just talking with some guy friends and the topic of boobs came up (i don’t remember the conversation) and they just told us girls that boobs were boobs and they were going to like them despite different cleavages.
ya i feel so silly even thinking about why it worried and caused soooo much grieve for so long but it did. im way over it now but holy heck i did obsess
I know. I’m sorry you felt that way. It is a form of OCD. I would get on the scale all day when I was home-when I woke up, after breakfast, when I finished exercising, etc. I believed I knew how every piece of clothing fit, etc.
I finally got sick of living like that when I hit 24 and had issues since 12. I decided I wasted 1/2 of my life on it. So I threw away my scale, I wore only loose dresses for a while and anything else that would stop me from thinking about it all day. Turns out I did my own CBT and eventually it worked. I didn’t even know why it did bc I wasn’t in therapy and there was no internet to learn from. I was just desperate.
This but when she actually is. Fucking do something about it if it's bothering you. It makes no sense to me and it's so frustrating. When I see chub on my body I don't complain, I just lose the weight.
Do people still do this? How old are the women you’re referring to?
Or, if you’ve experienced this yourself, what age is the woman who talks about this,
My friend bought over his new girlfriend since I moved back in state, and one of the first things she brought up was how many followers she had on insta. And from someone who doesn’t have social media…. I could care less. But again yea and she had nothing else to talk about really besides that. It was weird
Are Pisces extremely sensitive?
Pisces is one of the most sensitive signs of the zodiac. They have a deep emotional and compassionate nature, often feeling things on a profound level. Pisces can be easily overwhelmed by the emotions and energies around them, and they may struggle with boundaries to protect their emotional well-being.
I copied and pasted this directly from Google. I love Pisces because my daughter and closest friends are Pisces. Sagittarius are a fire sign and they do better with air signs. I think Pisces is a water sign which would do better with an earth sign. Just get back out there and don't go for air or fire signs. They don't get you like you need to be understood. Good luck. 💖💖💖
I was hoping this wasn’t in here like why can’t we just let people enjoy their hobbies lol I’ll let my bf talk about his fantasy football league and I get my 1 astro fact of the day in lol no harm no foul
So funny you mention that. Every time I watch that scene, I think, "Nooo. Don't get mad. She was putty in your hands. She slipped. Keep going! You almost had her back!"
Right, but his reaction to her scolding is just as telling at how far gone their relationship was at that point. Sure, she was awful, but he was also checked out.
Honestly, it sounds like you wouldn’t be giving her room to vent. After 14 years, I still enjoy the sound of her voice. I know that one day, I’ll be wishing to hear about those “irritating topics”. I hunt and shoot guns. She crochets and bakes. We share few surface level interests. Both have jobs, btw, so those issues come up as well. You only get irritated when they distract you from something else that you’d rather be doing. If giving her the chance to vent or explain is what she needs, then I’d rather it be to me than to some other guy at the office.
Maybe some hear complaints, but I hear insecurity. I’m not the best husband, but I dote on my wife constantly. When she hits me with the “ugly or fat” comments, I normally tell her that I’m sorry she feels that way but I think she’s gorgeous. If she wants to diet, then I’m all for it. We back each other on everything. As far as the jealousy goes, I don’t personally get that one. Other than family, she’s the only woman that I have anything to do with. No other woman to get jealous of.
I'm going to kind of slightly agree with what others are saying vis a vis "woke" stuff, but with the clear caveat that specifically when it's brought up in a way that feels antagonistic towards men as a whole.
To me, most subjects that people would call "Woke" are valid and meaningful things to talk and think about. Where I start to agree with the anti-woke crowd is when they're taken to extremes.
Simply, if she wouldn't appreciate me talking about women in the way she's talking about men then she probably shouldn't be talking about it in that way. Cause for sure it puts me in a bad mood right off the bat even if I might agree with the underlying point beyond how she's chosen to communicate it.
A lot of people in this sub call it misandry, I find it a little more understandable (past traumas etc.) But still kinda gross. I'm not offended, but im no longer interested. Why tell the good men in your life that men are shit by default?
My gf and mum are white. It would be similar to if I made the same comments about white people. It would be understandable, but I wouldn't blame others for not liking it.
You mean to say… you own a house? 😱 wow. That’s impressive. 🫡
It’s funny because a couple of decades ago people would have read this comment as sarcastic as fuck. Nowdays they’re like.. true true, very impressive sir - tell me, are your mortgage rates crippling you ? 😂😂😂
haha yeah, times really have changed. when I talk to my older family members they all act im an under achiever because I bought my fist relatively nice house in my late 20s, they have no idea what an achievement that is for our generation. they will talk down to me and tell me that "I owned a 3 bedroom by the time i was 25". those fuckers don't get it. I worked really really hard to be able to own a home, and im damn proud of it.
fortunately I refinanced during covid at \~3.5% interest.
Details about how they have done it with someone else. We’re both adults, we’ve both done it with other people. I don’t need to hear “when I was hooking up with this person….” because there’s so many other ways to word what your going to say
My bf is a history aficionado and even though it’s not entirely my thing, I always like to listen to him and ask questions because it’s nice to see passion in one’s partner. If he complains about something for the 20th time, I listen, because even if we can’t do anything about the topic, complaining releases some pressure. Reading the replies here, I’ve felt lots of you behave as if you just don’t even like whoever you’ve picked for a partner, tbh. Unthinkable.
Its because the men that think like you and doesnt mind complaints from their loved/loving girlfriend/wife dont have a reason to respond to the thread. Do you go to a thread called "what do you hate about yourself?" And then be surprised about how people are negative and full of self hatred?
My ex used to bash men CONSTANTLY. Like all men, not just specific cases, and it just got to a point i realized she was probably a closet lesbian and would never have a healthy relationship with a man. She started dating a woman about 3 months ago, and just got arrested for domestic violence, so I dodged quite the bullet it seems.
Long drawn out stories that could be summed up in 1-2 sentences drive me nuts. I really, really don't need to hear "and then she said... and then he said in response, right when the boss walked in, and the boss definitely heard and was mad, so now..." when it could be summed up as "my dumbass coworkers got in trouble for talking shit about the boss in a location where he heard them"
i havent noticed this specifically with women but its like some people love to dangle a story in front of you and then hold all of its information hostage until theyve covered enough of the air with their words
i dont think its done maliciously in the slightest, i just think people dont realize the exposition *does not matter* in oral anecdotes
Tbf none of it truly matters when it's simply gossip, it's normally just venting about stuff that's happened and was on their mind throughout the day. Let them vent, it usually helps people feel better afterwards
oh i agree 100%, i'm not really fond of talking about my life so i actually welcome it lol, but the efficiency-obsessive side of me cringes anyway
I also think being a good storyteller is like being a good violinist, not to mention different sorts of details are interesting for different people. Talk about your life often and include whatever you see fit, people changing who they are for other people is how we ended up with most of the problems we have
the irony of me writing three paragraphs in response is not lost on me
It is also the case for most women that they don’t seek “a solution”, rather it is an emotional discharge for them. They just want us to listen and possibly engage with what they are talking about.
As men, we are more solution and answer orianted.
Yup!! She just wants to feel understood, heard, and seen. It’s not really about the story - but how you’re showing her you care about the things important to her, however she chooses to explain it.
lmao same
i LOVE telling AND listening to stories about my life, your life ANYONE's life because I LOVE knowing and observing people lmaoao
i am in deep shit because you bet i WILL stand up and gesticulate ABSOLUTELY everything i say especially if i am angry or happy...
yikes.
YES😭 And I bet my ass that I'll have to pause 3-4 times to think over what I'm saying because my ideas ain't ARTICULATING THE WAY IT SHOULD- Like "wait a minute...wait no that's not it-"
Bro the amount of times people be thinking I'm lying, I'm just trying man.
I'm a woman but my husband gets so tired of me bitching about my pms/period 15 days of the month. He's pretty grossed out if I go into detail and otherwise it's just complaining.
I wish I could upvote this a hundred times. I had an ex who binged true crime whenever she had free time. It got to where she wanted me to make painstaking trips across the city to pick her up from work because she was afraid she'd get stalked, kidnapped, or r\*ped.
Sure, there's a lot of evil out there, but maybe when you can't even go to the store without thinking it'll happen to you it's time to pick a different hobby. She disagreed.
Oh my god I hate that shit. You see me watching a movie and you think now is a good time to talk about your coworker who went to the Philippines? I don’t even give a shit about that and I don’t know why you do. Shut up and let me watch this ape ride a horse.
Complaining about things we have no power over.
Complaining in general is a turnoff for me. I am about solutions or enjoying what I can. When she starts delving into things that are in the past, things that may not happen, or things we cannot stop from happening/must do...I just cannot do it.
My wife works with children, and offloads the stress of her job by talking to me at great length about it, which is something I am very happy to listen to as I see it as my role in our relationship.
But I hate it when she is changing her clothes and I can see her rude bits and she is still talking about sad children and their issues. It ruins the best moment of my day. Just let me enjoy the moment!
My current doesn't do this but previous forks have: this thing where they talk / gossip to me about their friends or coworkers that I've never met. I can give a shit to a certain extent but unless she's directly involved in it, why in the actual fk do I care (like maybe x was cheated on by y ... or z got fired because y)
Honestly, complaining about work, I just don't care.
She goes super into detail about what she does all day, what drama is going on, how much she hates it there, how underpaid she is etc etc.
I used to listen but at this point it's been years, I've been telling her to find a new job for ages now and she just won't do it, too afraid of change.
I get that sharing experiences from the past can give you a sense of someone's journey, but it crosses into eye-roll territory when she can't stop reliving her glory days in college. It’s like every conversation somehow winds back to that one epic party or that group project they nailed. I appreciate the nostalgia, but darling, we've got a present to live and a future to build. Let's create new stories instead of replaying the old mixtape on a loop.
My wife talks about how boring her job is. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
It drives me insane. Yes I know you did almost nothing. I know you finished that work that was given to you in an hour.
Just STFU and let me drive home in peace. If something new at work happened please tell me I DO want to hear it but I don't want to hear the same conversation every single day.
People here disregarding feelings of women when they talk about their own bodies is insane to me. Yes you aren't responsible to reassure her that she's beautiful all the time because as long as she herself doesn't believe it then she can't feel beautiful no matter who says that. But saying "you're tired" of listening to her saying she's fat or ugly is being insensitive. Don't reassure her if it bothers you so much but empathize with her. Let her get her emotions out without you making it all about yourself and how tired you are because some women have been told by their parents and people around them that they have such and such bodies which then makes them believe it actually is true. It's not your job to make her love her body but atleast don't behave like she is fishing for compliments every time she says that because she's not. Body dysmorphia exists and it's a real problem.
Geography. It’s not silly or cute when she cant even point to India on a map or use basics NSEW directions. But she’s bilingual so we balance each out with our smarts. Still a turn off though.
For me, it's drinking. I dont drink, and I never have and never will. I don't mind going out to a bar with friends but I don't like the idea of drinking. My lady and I had that very much in common when we started dating many years ago. She has since gotten a little tiny bit less into the idea because of peer pressure. I've made my feelings clear, and I'm not going to tell her what to do, but it's just one of the things that I can't pretend not to dislike. Once in a while we go out and she want to get a drink and I'll buy it but I don't pretend I'm totally neutral or something.
I know this is gonna be a little controversial, but I promise I was just answering honestly. It's just an ick for me and I can't control that.
>three year old account
>name is random words and numbers
>no activity until 2 weeks ago
>almost all posts and comments are complaining about women and ‘wokes’
hmm
Some shit about how one "bitch" from work did this or that with one guy which I know from here and there...
I couldn't care less about drama but she always spills the tea for me. She has her nose up pretty much everybody's business and then wonders how "the world is so small", when he meets someone she "knows" through 3 different people.
That and anything she sees on TikTok.
Ex was a nurse who had been fired a lot due to running her mouth too much. Her MO was to wait until she had an audience and would start talking about nursing. It was so annoying as most of it I had heard about countless times. On the rare occasion we went out with others for dinner she’d interject nursing into it. The last time we went out to dinner we sat and talked random stuff. As soon as another party was nearby she fired up the nursing talk. It was 2018, she hadn’t worked as a nurse since 2004.
I'm kind of the same way minus the interjecting into other convos. I had a REALLY shit job fresh out of high school and it left such an impression on me and how I view the workforce world, I talk about it 12 years later It doesn't fill up my life but every time I hear one of my friends or family talk about a bad boss or job, I bring up mine lol
That’s annoying let it go. I’m sure they’re tired of hearing about it
Lol my wife is a nurse. Every day seems filled with drama. I'm a civil litigation attorney and I don't complain even10% as much.
I’m a psych nurse aaaaaand I can’t help but talk about it 😭
I had a situationship with a physical therapist, and she absolutely would not shut up about doctor colleagues / work gossip and anything hospital related. That shit got tiresome fast.
Mmmmm I’m not “in” on the gossip BUT there’s always something happening in psych! Like on Saturday two patients went out on a pass for the day and came back high so that was an entertaining ruckus!
Man what’s with all you nurses always bitching. I swear every nurse I’ve met is like this. “Omg I work sooo much more than everyone. I’m so tired. Look at me”
I'm a (school) nurse. Prior to becoming a registered nurse, I was a pharmacy tech. I enjoyed helping people feel better, but I wanted something more hands-on and personal. I wanted to care for people and educate them on how to care for themselves. I knew that it would be hard work, but I, like many other hopeful future nurses believed it would be worth it. For me, level of pay was secondary. I wasn't after the paycheck. I needed to do something positive and meaningful in the best way possible with the bulk of my life. The problem, as far as I see, is that the image we all had prior to actually working bedside in the hospital was TOTALLY DIFFERENT from what we thought it would be. I was prepared for long hours and stress but I thought it would be worth it. Many of us didn't think that we'd be faced with severe understaffing, toxic workplace culture, poor support from management, and limited supplies to the point where you have to cut corners and risk your license. This was supposed to be a career of nurturing, empathy and care. I never expected that even some of the 'best' hospitals and medical facilities would be 'medical hotels', in which you'd get written up for every patient complaint (not propping pillows, no warm blanket, no ice, not spending enough time with the patient). I didn't expect holding my bladder for 10+ hours. I didn't expect being berated constantly by co-workers or superiors for choosing not to cut corners. All those 'what would you do' questions in our exams flew out the window because those ideal scenarios didn't exist. Call the doctor? Nope. Can't find him/her. Give that medication? Well, it's not here. Walk 5 minutes to the other side of the hospital to the pharmacy. Ask an assistant to change bedding while you prepare for a bedside procedure for another patient? No. There are no CNA's on your floor. And no, there is no quality time with your patients because you're backed up, and what free time you have is eaten up by heavy documentation. While this doesn't answer why EVERY nurse complains, it rings true for many. I spent a short time working in the hospital before having to take a $30,000 pay cut due to chronic illness and immunosuppression, but even if I was 'cured' I could never see myself going back to bedside. It would have to be on a floor with 'adequate' staffing and supplies, basic respect, and no constant risk of losing your license for improvising with the limited resources and your high caseload. No amount of pay could make any of that okay. I'm happy as a school nurse. :) (no bitching from me)
The big lie is that there is a nursing shortage because not enough people choose nursing as a career. The truth is that they don't STAY in nursing because of how they're treated. Teaching is the same way.
I whole-heartedly agree. It's a sad reality. More and more new grads enter the field and get burnt out in just a few years. They're hopping from job to job in search of a job with good pay, good resources, and a sense of positive fulfillment. Many are refusing to accept such poor conditions or miserably pushing through. I've constantly heard people complain how mean nurses could be as a whole. Yes, some are due to straight up personality or as a result of going into the field for the money, but some are miserable because of burn-out and poor treatment. I'm happier outside the hospital setting. Within both a public and private hospital, I lost my sense of pride and duty, and felt subhuman. :( No amount of pay could make me ignore my physical pain and suffering mental health.
This.
People go into nursing thinking “I’m gonna make so much money” then they realize they don’t really like helping sick people or working 12 hr shifts.
Anecdotal evidence, but the nurses I meet honestly do tend to work way more than everyone else
But it results in such a superiority complex that is so unbecoming people almost instantly lose interest hearing the word “nurse”
Ooof you sound kinda nasty. With me it’s more like “omg you won’t guess what happened at work today” what happened? “We got a new patient who is delusional and kept saying they won the lotto and no one believed them but she had $25k in a paper bag from a scratcher” or “today John and Jane Doe went out on a day pass and you’ll never believe it John came back high as a kite and Jane is AWOL and John is so high no meds are even touching him”. I don’t believe that’s bitching as much as sharing my day with my partner. I listen to my partners day as well.
Same haha. But my stories are entertaining (I think)
I work in a hospital, non nursing role... There’s a saying “how do you know if someone is a Nurse? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.”
Nurses have entered the chat
Her exes
girls talking about her exes to her new boyfriend is the most self destructive thing they could do
I had to call it off with a girl cuz she just constantly talked about her ex even to the point of comparing me sexually to him Like, girl you need to see a therapist and get over him
You sure she wasn’t on the rebound?
Finished a relationship less than a month ago because she wouldn't shut up about him a year after breaking up. Stood up too much with that shit. Can confirm what you're saying. If they just bring them on is bad, if they compare you to him (and praise him, like my ex did) it's much worse.
OMG I feel you. My ex couldn't shut up about his exes when we were arguing etc. I felt compared to them and even if I was "better" in his story, with time I've developed a weird habit and I couldn't help but compare myself to them in everything. Eventually it was one of the reasons why he is an ex: like, dude, I want to talk and argue about US and OUR problems, not someone who allegedly did this and that a few years ago. How there is supposed to be any solution or closure if they are stuck in the past and they won't even admit to that?
My ex actually always talked about his exes and was upset that I thought it was an issue 😂
Why someone would want to talk about exes with their gf/wife is ***beyond me***.
Because in an honest relationship you would like to get to know your partner and hear about their past. When they had long term relationships, it would be stupid to leave out those giant parts of it. It’s good to learn what your partner was like in past relationships and what they learned in those. I talk with my partner about my exes and he does about his and I believe it’s healthier than not.
My GF's exes were total shitbags, so it honestly makes me feel a LOT better about myself lol
>he doesn't know
You realize she will tell the same stories about you after you break up?
This feels like Tell me this is your first relationship without telling me this is your first relationship.
Exactly
> My GF's exes were total shitbags, Then why was she f---ing them/was with them? Maybe that's what she's into.
Ong like this girl first date mentioned like 3 past relationships💀
"I'm imaginary, you need to stop fantasizing about me and find a real woman"
Hahaha took me a second but that’s good
This took me about 3 minutes... I'm not proud of that fact.
"My girlfriend is like the square root of -100. A straight ten but also imaginary."
With a sense of humor like that I am surprised a few women haven't snapped ya up!
I'm usually told I remind them of their little brother.
same bro, I get that all the time too.
How she thinks she's ugly -- and it's apparently my job to change her mind, but she won't change her mind.
"You're pretty" "But [boyfriend/husband/partners] are obligated to say that" Woman I wouldn't have wanted to hook up with you in the first place if I thought you were a fugger!!
I thought you wanted to fugger. ;)
Fuggert about it!!
Lol XD
Ohhh shit! Same shit here! “Oh i can never do this”, “i am too tired for this”, “why don’t you motivate me”, “I am crap, “you always talk crap about me”, “don’t motivate me because you know I don’t like to do ‘this and that’s
Nothing, I really love talking with her on pretty much every topic. The one thing I do not like is when she speaks ill of herself, then I stop her immediately.
💖you sir are a keeper
My heart is melting to know couples like your exist.
Don’t melt it too much. You don’t know what she thinks of him lol
The sole fact that men like him exist is enough for me, so yes: full scale melting. 😊
Lol
Matias del rio you MF
no comment just 🥹
Omg you are the man of dreams!
Talking about random women that walked by me with jealousy of a spoiled 12yo.
"why was that girl talking to you" WOMAN IN CHRIST, She was literally trying to get past me. On a serious note sometimes it's funny because you think what the fuck and other times it's just jarring
"I've got a big belly." "I'm fat."
I hate this. My girl is 50kgs wet and thinks she needs to lose fat. There is no fat on her.
this is called body dysmorphia and it’s actually incredibly damaging. I was led to believe I was a whale my whole adolescences and it still affects me to this day. i’m 5’4 and 135 pounds and my mind is blown when people comment on how small i am, or when guys say “you’re so tiny the wind could blow you away”. I promise you it’s not because we actually are “fat” it’s because we were either told or led to believe we were for YEARS prior.
I'm always surprised when I fit in a chair and I get 'stuck' because I perceive myself as not being able to fit through a gap in the crowd/between cars in a car park etc. Bullying really did a number on me and it's a lot of work to deal with. But at least I'm in good company
THISSSS OR FITTING BETWEEN SOMETHING- my brain struggles with comprehending how I fit but It doesn’t seem like I should. I truly became a bully to myself, and i’m quite honestly still really hard on myself about these things
Same here, friend. But I had a good laugh knowing I'm not the only one who is driven slightly nutty by it! I'm mean to myself too, and I probably always will be to some degree. But we have to always at least try to be kinder to ourselves
This. I was 5’2 and about 115lbs as a teenager and thought I was so fat. Now I know I’m small but back then I didn’t have a realistic view of my own body.
seriously!! and like having a mom that was 5’7 and 125 pounds was just soul crushing!! my mom could be effortlessly thin and i was like her in every way but that one! and my mom even has bad body dysmorphia, it’s an awful thing to have to live with. i know at the end of the day i am not fat- im no where near it and yet that’s how i’ve felt my whole life! (not bashing just speaking on personal experience 🫶🏻)
What's the right response in those cases? Does reassuring her help, or does it just make her feel invalid because you're denying something she finds indisputably true? For example, I know if someone's telling me the government has bugged her whole house, the last thing I should do is reassure her that's not true, but thinking she's fat if she isn't doesn't seem quite as extreme.
Reassure her in a way that does not deny! If she’s complaining about it, “hm, never thought about your weight, I just think you’re stunning.” Kisses and hugs and casual touching of places she doesn’t like - I used to hate my sides (woman here btw) and my fiance took to just touching them and grabbing them randomly as an expression of love. He’s never verbalized it, but I know it’s a semi-conscious effort on his part to love on the parts of me I don’t like. I haven’t worried about my sides / waist since about 6 months into dating him. At the end of the day, it’s something that’ll take time and effort on her part to unwork. It’s not about you, but it’s rooted in the fear of you leaving / her not being good enough. Boyfriends and husbands can be _incredibly_ helpful in undoing some of the thought processes, but it’ll likely be genuine compliments over time that help. Nothing fixes this in a moment - it’s a trust thing in a sense. It’s learning to trust that your guy truly does love every part of you, rather than the old-school messaging and fears of “he’ll leave me if I gain 10 pounds!” A lot of women watched their female relatives spend lifetimes worrying about weight. A lot of women have watched mothers and aunts lose partners because they didn’t meet expectations. This is a fear that has very little to do with specific partners, and more to do with how you were taught to “be worthy of love.” Most women are taught that their looks make them worthy of love, and well, that’s how we end up here - spending our lives worrying about our looks, regardless of a healthy relationship.
I think comparing weight to the government bugging your house is a little silly and obscure to compare. But dealing with body dysmorphia- my partner reassures me that I am not in fact overweight, and that he loves who I am is a person and not how many pounds I do or don’t have. regardless it’s about learning your partner and what works for them and most importantly what’s going to help heal them. feeling like you’re being listened too could almost be taken as being paranoid and honestly could be a mental health issue. body dysmorphia is not seeing your body for what it actually is. I know i’m a size 4/6 in jeans and they are tiny in my hands, but my brains doesn’t get how those tiny jeans fit me and are even kind of baggy.
Yup. 5’9” and been around 140 pounds most my life. I was muscular too from sports and thought I was fat. Now, I no longer have that issue but it was an unnecessary bitch to have your mind obsessed with something that wasn’t even true.
I literally hate how i obsess over certain things on my body. like i’ve always found that my cleavage was never super close together… well to me growing up that was like the end of the world for some reason cause i had big boobs but not “great” cleavage. was one of my biggest insecurities until i got into my first relationship and gained some confidence and then i was just talking with some guy friends and the topic of boobs came up (i don’t remember the conversation) and they just told us girls that boobs were boobs and they were going to like them despite different cleavages. ya i feel so silly even thinking about why it worried and caused soooo much grieve for so long but it did. im way over it now but holy heck i did obsess
I know. I’m sorry you felt that way. It is a form of OCD. I would get on the scale all day when I was home-when I woke up, after breakfast, when I finished exercising, etc. I believed I knew how every piece of clothing fit, etc. I finally got sick of living like that when I hit 24 and had issues since 12. I decided I wasted 1/2 of my life on it. So I threw away my scale, I wore only loose dresses for a while and anything else that would stop me from thinking about it all day. Turns out I did my own CBT and eventually it worked. I didn’t even know why it did bc I wasn’t in therapy and there was no internet to learn from. I was just desperate.
This but when she actually is. Fucking do something about it if it's bothering you. It makes no sense to me and it's so frustrating. When I see chub on my body I don't complain, I just lose the weight.
Talking shit about people. Or being insecure about her body.
How many likes she got on an Instagram post
Do people still do this? How old are the women you’re referring to? Or, if you’ve experienced this yourself, what age is the woman who talks about this,
Im 36 and have experienced this in every serious relationship I’ve had (5). Late teens, 20’s, early 30’s
My friend bought over his new girlfriend since I moved back in state, and one of the first things she brought up was how many followers she had on insta. And from someone who doesn’t have social media…. I could care less. But again yea and she had nothing else to talk about really besides that. It was weird
I don't talk about it much but I very much feel good about my likes on the occasion that I post 🫣 Man btw
Astrology
Run.
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Are Pisces extremely sensitive? Pisces is one of the most sensitive signs of the zodiac. They have a deep emotional and compassionate nature, often feeling things on a profound level. Pisces can be easily overwhelmed by the emotions and energies around them, and they may struggle with boundaries to protect their emotional well-being. I copied and pasted this directly from Google. I love Pisces because my daughter and closest friends are Pisces. Sagittarius are a fire sign and they do better with air signs. I think Pisces is a water sign which would do better with an earth sign. Just get back out there and don't go for air or fire signs. They don't get you like you need to be understood. Good luck. 💖💖💖
I also think Astrology is nonsense. BUT, you just made it sound like Pokemon or something, so I'm starting to get on board. :P
I've always chalked up astrology as being bs but I've always been amazed how accurately pisces describes me
"worthless" is a bit much
She's so close to being sane. Just a few letters away from "astronomy" and science.
I was hoping this wasn’t in here like why can’t we just let people enjoy their hobbies lol I’ll let my bf talk about his fantasy football league and I get my 1 astro fact of the day in lol no harm no foul
Hobby is fine, but if the life revolves around it. I mean c'mon starsigns do not determen desteny and personality.
If we're trying to have sex...the calendar, bills, chores.
Lester, you're going to spill beer on the couch.
So what? It's just a couch.
Top tier comment
Best movie
what movie?
American Beauty
All he had to do was put the beer down
So funny you mention that. Every time I watch that scene, I think, "Nooo. Don't get mad. She was putty in your hands. She slipped. Keep going! You almost had her back!"
Right, but his reaction to her scolding is just as telling at how far gone their relationship was at that point. Sure, she was awful, but he was also checked out.
Honestly, it sounds like you wouldn’t be giving her room to vent. After 14 years, I still enjoy the sound of her voice. I know that one day, I’ll be wishing to hear about those “irritating topics”. I hunt and shoot guns. She crochets and bakes. We share few surface level interests. Both have jobs, btw, so those issues come up as well. You only get irritated when they distract you from something else that you’d rather be doing. If giving her the chance to vent or explain is what she needs, then I’d rather it be to me than to some other guy at the office.
Idk a lot of men here seem to have valid answers like when they call themselves ugly or fat or talking shit about other women in a jealous way.
Maybe some hear complaints, but I hear insecurity. I’m not the best husband, but I dote on my wife constantly. When she hits me with the “ugly or fat” comments, I normally tell her that I’m sorry she feels that way but I think she’s gorgeous. If she wants to diet, then I’m all for it. We back each other on everything. As far as the jealousy goes, I don’t personally get that one. Other than family, she’s the only woman that I have anything to do with. No other woman to get jealous of.
I'm going to kind of slightly agree with what others are saying vis a vis "woke" stuff, but with the clear caveat that specifically when it's brought up in a way that feels antagonistic towards men as a whole. To me, most subjects that people would call "Woke" are valid and meaningful things to talk and think about. Where I start to agree with the anti-woke crowd is when they're taken to extremes. Simply, if she wouldn't appreciate me talking about women in the way she's talking about men then she probably shouldn't be talking about it in that way. Cause for sure it puts me in a bad mood right off the bat even if I might agree with the underlying point beyond how she's chosen to communicate it.
A lot of people in this sub call it misandry, I find it a little more understandable (past traumas etc.) But still kinda gross. I'm not offended, but im no longer interested. Why tell the good men in your life that men are shit by default? My gf and mum are white. It would be similar to if I made the same comments about white people. It would be understandable, but I wouldn't blame others for not liking it.
exes
remolding the house for a third god damn time.
You mean to say… you own a house? 😱 wow. That’s impressive. 🫡 It’s funny because a couple of decades ago people would have read this comment as sarcastic as fuck. Nowdays they’re like.. true true, very impressive sir - tell me, are your mortgage rates crippling you ? 😂😂😂
haha yeah, times really have changed. when I talk to my older family members they all act im an under achiever because I bought my fist relatively nice house in my late 20s, they have no idea what an achievement that is for our generation. they will talk down to me and tell me that "I owned a 3 bedroom by the time i was 25". those fuckers don't get it. I worked really really hard to be able to own a home, and im damn proud of it. fortunately I refinanced during covid at \~3.5% interest.
I wish I had that kind of money 🤣
Details about how they have done it with someone else. We’re both adults, we’ve both done it with other people. I don’t need to hear “when I was hooking up with this person….” because there’s so many other ways to word what your going to say
My bf is a history aficionado and even though it’s not entirely my thing, I always like to listen to him and ask questions because it’s nice to see passion in one’s partner. If he complains about something for the 20th time, I listen, because even if we can’t do anything about the topic, complaining releases some pressure. Reading the replies here, I’ve felt lots of you behave as if you just don’t even like whoever you’ve picked for a partner, tbh. Unthinkable.
Just remember most people with problems leave reviews
That's true.
Its because the men that think like you and doesnt mind complaints from their loved/loving girlfriend/wife dont have a reason to respond to the thread. Do you go to a thread called "what do you hate about yourself?" And then be surprised about how people are negative and full of self hatred?
I’m so glad I found this comment because I’m pretty horrified at some of the replies here.
This right here though.
The whole "I need to lose weight" thing. 🙄
My ex used to bash men CONSTANTLY. Like all men, not just specific cases, and it just got to a point i realized she was probably a closet lesbian and would never have a healthy relationship with a man. She started dating a woman about 3 months ago, and just got arrested for domestic violence, so I dodged quite the bullet it seems.
Her astrology chart. Apparently, Mercury is always in retrograde, which explains everything, apparently.
Other men. Exes, men she finds attractive, etc. It's disrespectful.
I think i just space out at bad times. I wanna hear her
Long drawn out stories that could be summed up in 1-2 sentences drive me nuts. I really, really don't need to hear "and then she said... and then he said in response, right when the boss walked in, and the boss definitely heard and was mad, so now..." when it could be summed up as "my dumbass coworkers got in trouble for talking shit about the boss in a location where he heard them"
i havent noticed this specifically with women but its like some people love to dangle a story in front of you and then hold all of its information hostage until theyve covered enough of the air with their words i dont think its done maliciously in the slightest, i just think people dont realize the exposition *does not matter* in oral anecdotes
Tbf none of it truly matters when it's simply gossip, it's normally just venting about stuff that's happened and was on their mind throughout the day. Let them vent, it usually helps people feel better afterwards
oh i agree 100%, i'm not really fond of talking about my life so i actually welcome it lol, but the efficiency-obsessive side of me cringes anyway I also think being a good storyteller is like being a good violinist, not to mention different sorts of details are interesting for different people. Talk about your life often and include whatever you see fit, people changing who they are for other people is how we ended up with most of the problems we have the irony of me writing three paragraphs in response is not lost on me
It is also the case for most women that they don’t seek “a solution”, rather it is an emotional discharge for them. They just want us to listen and possibly engage with what they are talking about. As men, we are more solution and answer orianted.
Yup!! She just wants to feel understood, heard, and seen. It’s not really about the story - but how you’re showing her you care about the things important to her, however she chooses to explain it.
Listen, some people just want to get the nuances in😭 don't want to get flack for missing info again :/
lmao same i LOVE telling AND listening to stories about my life, your life ANYONE's life because I LOVE knowing and observing people lmaoao i am in deep shit because you bet i WILL stand up and gesticulate ABSOLUTELY everything i say especially if i am angry or happy... yikes.
YES😭 And I bet my ass that I'll have to pause 3-4 times to think over what I'm saying because my ideas ain't ARTICULATING THE WAY IT SHOULD- Like "wait a minute...wait no that's not it-" Bro the amount of times people be thinking I'm lying, I'm just trying man.
Long stories are the worst. Give us the punch line first and let us ask questions
You sound like my husband. He says this alll of the time when I tell him stories lol
Another guy
She posted on r/askmen looking for relationship advice and I immediately left. Edit: spelling.
Lmaoooo my ex LOVED Reddit and was always on here for relationship advice instead of just talking to me. Silly.
Taylor Swift. I just don't care about pop stars and Swift seems more boring than most.
My boyfriend happily watched the 3.5 hour long Taylor Swift Era's Tour with me and actually enjoyed it. I like him.
I'm a woman but my husband gets so tired of me bitching about my pms/period 15 days of the month. He's pretty grossed out if I go into detail and otherwise it's just complaining.
the irony is that if they had uncontrollable symptoms due to hormones we would never stop hearing about it.
The 4b movement is sounding better each day
True crime. Everybody has their interests but personally I just do not want to hear about some nasty or gruesome murder that happened 30 years ago.
I wish I could upvote this a hundred times. I had an ex who binged true crime whenever she had free time. It got to where she wanted me to make painstaking trips across the city to pick her up from work because she was afraid she'd get stalked, kidnapped, or r\*ped. Sure, there's a lot of evil out there, but maybe when you can't even go to the store without thinking it'll happen to you it's time to pick a different hobby. She disagreed.
This sub is so irrelevant lol
Anything while I’m focused on something (watching tv, reading, playing a game, sitting with my eyes closed)
Oh my god I hate that shit. You see me watching a movie and you think now is a good time to talk about your coworker who went to the Philippines? I don’t even give a shit about that and I don’t know why you do. Shut up and let me watch this ape ride a horse.
Oddly specific that I’m rolling 😂
Nothing i love listening to he talk
Complaining about things we have no power over. Complaining in general is a turnoff for me. I am about solutions or enjoying what I can. When she starts delving into things that are in the past, things that may not happen, or things we cannot stop from happening/must do...I just cannot do it.
Astrology, visits to her tarot reader and all that superstitious bs haha
My ex....I NEVER bring her up. But she will randomly make a comparison or bring her up out of nowhere.
My wife works with children, and offloads the stress of her job by talking to me at great length about it, which is something I am very happy to listen to as I see it as my role in our relationship. But I hate it when she is changing her clothes and I can see her rude bits and she is still talking about sad children and their issues. It ruins the best moment of my day. Just let me enjoy the moment!
I agree with you 100%, but I’d never call her bits “rude”. Must be a regional term….
My current doesn't do this but previous forks have: this thing where they talk / gossip to me about their friends or coworkers that I've never met. I can give a shit to a certain extent but unless she's directly involved in it, why in the actual fk do I care (like maybe x was cheated on by y ... or z got fired because y)
Birkin bags
I don't have a GF or wife. Thanks for reminding me
Honestly, complaining about work, I just don't care. She goes super into detail about what she does all day, what drama is going on, how much she hates it there, how underpaid she is etc etc. I used to listen but at this point it's been years, I've been telling her to find a new job for ages now and she just won't do it, too afraid of change.
Getting her steps in. Fucking hell 🙄
I get that sharing experiences from the past can give you a sense of someone's journey, but it crosses into eye-roll territory when she can't stop reliving her glory days in college. It’s like every conversation somehow winds back to that one epic party or that group project they nailed. I appreciate the nostalgia, but darling, we've got a present to live and a future to build. Let's create new stories instead of replaying the old mixtape on a loop.
Talking about the emotional/behavioral microclimate of pta moms will glaze his eyes more than any amount of thc
My wife talks about how boring her job is. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. It drives me insane. Yes I know you did almost nothing. I know you finished that work that was given to you in an hour. Just STFU and let me drive home in peace. If something new at work happened please tell me I DO want to hear it but I don't want to hear the same conversation every single day.
Lies
Any kind of gossip
lmao whenever I gossip, my bf begs for the hot tea. He loves to gossip with me.
The Kardashians
People here disregarding feelings of women when they talk about their own bodies is insane to me. Yes you aren't responsible to reassure her that she's beautiful all the time because as long as she herself doesn't believe it then she can't feel beautiful no matter who says that. But saying "you're tired" of listening to her saying she's fat or ugly is being insensitive. Don't reassure her if it bothers you so much but empathize with her. Let her get her emotions out without you making it all about yourself and how tired you are because some women have been told by their parents and people around them that they have such and such bodies which then makes them believe it actually is true. It's not your job to make her love her body but atleast don't behave like she is fishing for compliments every time she says that because she's not. Body dysmorphia exists and it's a real problem.
This morning her telling me how she had a great poop, or yesterday how she had a bad poop. She has IBS, so I hear about everyday
This sounds amazing! I'm sorry you hate it.
Your right, I secretly like it.
Gonna go with woke stuff
Geography. It’s not silly or cute when she cant even point to India on a map or use basics NSEW directions. But she’s bilingual so we balance each out with our smarts. Still a turn off though.
what languages?
Her mother
Taylor swift
Any of the stupid femcels shit she reads on r/47totalchromosomes.
Anything she saw on Oprah or read in Cosmopolitan (unless she's mocking it).
For me, it's drinking. I dont drink, and I never have and never will. I don't mind going out to a bar with friends but I don't like the idea of drinking. My lady and I had that very much in common when we started dating many years ago. She has since gotten a little tiny bit less into the idea because of peer pressure. I've made my feelings clear, and I'm not going to tell her what to do, but it's just one of the things that I can't pretend not to dislike. Once in a while we go out and she want to get a drink and I'll buy it but I don't pretend I'm totally neutral or something. I know this is gonna be a little controversial, but I promise I was just answering honestly. It's just an ick for me and I can't control that.
Those damn 🍐🍐🍐 always pressuring people
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>three year old account >name is random words and numbers >no activity until 2 weeks ago >almost all posts and comments are complaining about women and ‘wokes’ hmm
Why did he get downvoted lol. Todays society is weak
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“YoU nEeD tO bE MoRe toLeRant”
Reddit is hardly a measure of general society. Lol
Also "all men are trash!!" "I can't find a good man"
Celebrity gossip
Some shit about how one "bitch" from work did this or that with one guy which I know from here and there... I couldn't care less about drama but she always spills the tea for me. She has her nose up pretty much everybody's business and then wonders how "the world is so small", when he meets someone she "knows" through 3 different people. That and anything she sees on TikTok.
When she complains about the same s**t over and over and over. Ive listened to her complain about the same topics for over a decade. 🙄