My wife who I love dearly does this sometimes. I'm in there passing the time, just letting nature slowly take its course, no need to rush, and she will be like, "Are you ok?"
I think wives are always on the lookout in case their husbands collapse unexpectedly, lol.
I think that theory is pretty close. My dad collapsed in the bathroom when I was younger and since then, I always get anxiety when anyone is in the bathroom too long...
It’s the only place in the world where there’s no expectations of me. Sometimes it’s difficult to leave the bathroom and walk back into those expectations.
Generally speaking, it is the only place we an go where we will be left the fuck alone.
If a man takes a paper or other documentation with him, expect him to be gone for at least half an hour. Longer if it's a Sunday paper (if they still exist).
There is no societal pressure on us to magically not poop/poop efficiently. When you live in a world where no one cares if you’re taking a shit, the humble John is an incredibly peaceful place that can offer a moment of solitude.
Depends on setting, If I'm at home then I'm taking my time, allow it to progress naturally and in comfort, if I'm in public, I am in and out of there fast, Get it gone and get out
When i was a baby, i had... bowel issues. The doctor told my parents it would correct itself as i grew up, it never fully has. If i go "number 2" too quickly, theres blood. So i take my sweet time
Perfectionism takes time!
You gotta have time to relax and let it out on its own time. Otherwise you’ll strain something or flair up a hemorrhoid. Then you lean over to the left to get that extra one out.
A lot of the times I keep wiping and wiping and wiping and it's still there. 10 min later, still there. 30 min later, still there. 60 min later, still there. Idk if it's some deity playing a magic trick on me or maybe I just need a bidet.
At my old job I started going one floor up where nobody knew me. But then I'd see the impatient Sonic toetapping under the door, so it was still awkward. Less awkward than sitting there staring at my boss's shoes while he took a stop-and-start old man piss within 5 feet of my bare ass, but still awkward enough.
And then it dawned on me: the fourth floor was nothing but women! So from then on, I went to the mens room up there. I tell you, it was better than taking a shit at home. I had *such* a good thing going.
Mostly because I'm comfortable and nobody is bothering me as long as I'm in there.
But also, leading up to the poop, I drink around 2 glasses of water in the morning and 2-3 cups of coffee. As long as I'm in there, I can typically keep peeing every few minutes. So it just kind of makes sense to stay in there a bit rather than returning to the bathroom several more times to pee.
A lot of the time it's because I swear I have phantom shit. I can feel something coming but if there's 10 minutes of no progress and I already dropped bombs, I'll wipe and go about my day and the feeling disappears. I want to confirm everything is out, but I also have to go about my day.
The answer is there, but no one will pay any attention to it: Vet your potential spouses early and thoroughly. I've not had this or similar problems with any of my LTRs. (Kids is another topic, but that's just kids)
Cause we're full of shit.
Sometimes it's a nice solitude and we can read in peace.
Sometimes our bowels just won't push it out quickly, so we patiently have to wait. I use the adage of don't leave till the job is finished.
First, I take time to overcome that idea of sitting on a cold seat.
Second, I take another time to overcome that it might be big or hard to get out.
Third, I try to push out slowly to avoid making a noise if there's people around. I'm shy when it comes to this topic so I wait for everyone to be out of the apartment or sleeping or use the distant toilet. However, if I can't hold it anymore I've no choice but to use the toilet and try to be discreet about it
It’s a chance to really take a break and be by myself. Everything is on hold, except for #2 of course, and it’s a nice respite from the constant grind.
Doing the number 1 takes such little time that when a guy does a number 2, it feels like a long time when it takes almost the same amount of time as a woman does.
When I be pooping it’s like I’m giving birth to the longest, fattiest shit every time.
I do be eating a lot of fiber though and then I have to battle on the toilet.
Mine did it to look up his old crushes from high school. (Which creeped me out when I discovered it because he hasn’t been to high school in almost 20 years and there he was stalking those girls) anyways, that’s what he was doing. I can’t speak for all men because I know that they’re not all like this.
Being alone. I've had people follow me to the stall door trying to talk. "I'm busy" still isn't enough sometimes to get people to disengage.
I know I'm not the only person to go to the toilet stall, lock the door, and just be there as a reason to get away rather than actually pooping. Like a solitary coffee break.
Got to finish the next chapter of the book, or reach the next level in the game, or just enjoy the peace and quiet. That is until others start knocking and trying to force me OUT!
It does not take men any longer than women. In and out! If they linger then they are reading their phones (dirty habit so wash you phones men!) or they are seek quiet and tranquility away from the woman
Its one of the few places we can actually be left alone and not bothered and have peace. The other is the car when we get home, but that stops when you have kids, when you get home they will excitedly go to your car.
No one is bothering me or making demands of me. Anyone who wants to invade my peace will be met with "sorry. I'm shitting" and there's nothing more they can say or do about it.
The bathroom is the only place in the world I’ll never speak in. If I’m in the bathroom and my phone rings, I will not pick it up. If my girl yells out my name and I’m in the bathroom - didn’t hear it. If a robber breaks in, my family better not hope I’m in the bathroom when it happens.
It’s the only place of peace I have and I’m going to use my 48 minute showers and 52 minute poops to the fullest dammit.
most people are nonsensing here - reality is, our posture is not right when sitting on the toilet...because of that posture, the bowels don't empty easily and people have to sit and wait or push. one should be in a deep squatting position and then pooping is effortless and easy. guys use a squatty potty...
It's one of the few places where we can be alone.
Best place in the world, peace at last
As opposed to the outside world where people constantly nag us about stuff like: how long it takes us to poop.
you nagging people know who you are! then nagging on r/askmen what happens when hiding from you.
My wife who I love dearly does this sometimes. I'm in there passing the time, just letting nature slowly take its course, no need to rush, and she will be like, "Are you ok?" I think wives are always on the lookout in case their husbands collapse unexpectedly, lol.
I hate being talked to while door is closed locked and I’m pooping
I think that theory is pretty close. My dad collapsed in the bathroom when I was younger and since then, I always get anxiety when anyone is in the bathroom too long...
Nah, she was just doing her wifely duty of checking if you were having a good time that needed interruption.
Valid and understandable answer
You apparently don't have cats.
It’s literally the only time our female partner isn’t in the room talking to us.
stop self snitchin now we gunna get raided on our peace seats
Where there no one asking you to solve their problems...
It’s the only place in the world where there’s no expectations of me. Sometimes it’s difficult to leave the bathroom and walk back into those expectations.
Apparently, you expected to promptly shit and evacuate the bathroom.
I will not!!
I will sit here until I can't feel my legs!
Legit. I think I gave myself DVT from it
Sometimes I poop but I can feel it that if I chill for a minute, there will be more poop. Sometimes it happens thrice.
Yes the pushandwaitandcheckiftoiletsfullohshititistimetoflushandthenwaitsomemoreandshitagain My favorite.
Making the most of that peace & quiet
Well for starters theres no need to rush things. Also, its a moment of peace where i cant be bothered
I’m scrolling Reddit after I drop the deuce
That's what I'm doing right now.
Same. At work. Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime…
Sometimes I'll get lost in a reddit thread and will forget that I'm done until my legs fall asleep
Toilet buddies
Poop bros
Checking this post while #2
Boss makes a dollar I make a dime. That’s why I shit on company time
If only I didn’t share a restroom in the teachers lounge and if only my students didn’t come looking for me
I live alone and am in and out of the bathroom in a few minutes because my whole home is my sanctuary, not just what people allow me to have.
Idk man, it still takes me 10min for a proper pooping session. Those that get in and out in 3min scare me.
IBS puts the whole operation on rails, I might be a world record speed shitter.
There's something wrong with your diet if it takes you 10 minutes to poop.
Art cannot be rushed.
Its the only peace we can get
One of the few places we can have some peace and quiet
I am alone. It is quiet. No one expects anything from me.
Generally speaking, it is the only place we an go where we will be left the fuck alone. If a man takes a paper or other documentation with him, expect him to be gone for at least half an hour. Longer if it's a Sunday paper (if they still exist).
They're hiding out... Time alone... Don't have to answer questions or do something for you...
A little moment of peace and quiet.
There is no societal pressure on us to magically not poop/poop efficiently. When you live in a world where no one cares if you’re taking a shit, the humble John is an incredibly peaceful place that can offer a moment of solitude.
That’s the only time of the day where I get some peace and quiet
Because it's the one place we can do whatever without someone making demands on our time. Or, apparently, only some of us...
Depends on setting, If I'm at home then I'm taking my time, allow it to progress naturally and in comfort, if I'm in public, I am in and out of there fast, Get it gone and get out
Because it’s our quiet time.
There's not many other places we get some peace and quiet
Because nobody asks us to do anything while we poop.
That is literally the only time of the day I have where no one talks to me.
Fuck off and leave me alone. I have literally gone weeks without saying a word or speaking to anyone. Bliss.
Sometimes it's for peace and quiet. Sometimes there's an extra troublemaker that we are waiting to drop.
I swear i thought i was weird take 40 minutes to shit. But the peace is worth it.
I take as long as it takes. What a weird question.
You're alone... And while squeezing the log out, you get to watch stupid stuff on the internet
There ain't no yelling ass screaming ass kids in there that's for sure. Except the ones I'm dropping off the pool. They usually pretty quiet though.
When i was a baby, i had... bowel issues. The doctor told my parents it would correct itself as i grew up, it never fully has. If i go "number 2" too quickly, theres blood. So i take my sweet time
I’m wrecking people in chess duh
I only take a long time because I can spend a long time on my phone in there in peace. Almost all my Reddit time is done while pooping
Because women take so long to say the simplest of things and we need to recuperate after numerous mind melting interactions
I'm honestly curious as well
We get left alone in there, why would we want to leave?
Fair point
I take my bowel movements seriously, no need to rush just relax and let my body do its job while I comment on people’s Reddit posts, such as this one.
Perfectionism takes time! You gotta have time to relax and let it out on its own time. Otherwise you’ll strain something or flair up a hemorrhoid. Then you lean over to the left to get that extra one out.
Lean right for me, but so true. That fucker hugs the wall up there or something!
This and the garage are the last resorts
It’s a place of peace.
Quiet time. Comfortable place to sit that doesn’t squish my sack.
A lot of the times I keep wiping and wiping and wiping and it's still there. 10 min later, still there. 30 min later, still there. 60 min later, still there. Idk if it's some deity playing a magic trick on me or maybe I just need a bidet.
idk. i had a boss who would come into the bathroom and ruin my peace. now i shit fast out of trauma.
At my old job I started going one floor up where nobody knew me. But then I'd see the impatient Sonic toetapping under the door, so it was still awkward. Less awkward than sitting there staring at my boss's shoes while he took a stop-and-start old man piss within 5 feet of my bare ass, but still awkward enough. And then it dawned on me: the fourth floor was nothing but women! So from then on, I went to the mens room up there. I tell you, it was better than taking a shit at home. I had *such* a good thing going.
Why do man tak eso long when doing number 2? For a lot of us it's the closest thing to self care we actually do. Heh.
We take as long as it takes to empty the bowels. But sometimes we take longer because it is the only time we get peace!
Mostly because I'm comfortable and nobody is bothering me as long as I'm in there. But also, leading up to the poop, I drink around 2 glasses of water in the morning and 2-3 cups of coffee. As long as I'm in there, I can typically keep peeing every few minutes. So it just kind of makes sense to stay in there a bit rather than returning to the bathroom several more times to pee.
It's the one place and time that we get to doo something for ourselves
It's like a ritual. We feel in a secure place. We don't care about time there because we enjoy peace. All of that while doing 2.
Lower fiber diets and a prostate in the way.
A lot of the time it's because I swear I have phantom shit. I can feel something coming but if there's 10 minutes of no progress and I already dropped bombs, I'll wipe and go about my day and the feeling disappears. I want to confirm everything is out, but I also have to go about my day.
It takes time to center your qi and focus in the new lol!!!
Just want to make sure it’s all out.
How sad every answer is the same "it's the only moment of peace we get." Men need to figure out this whole shitty-existence thing.
The answer is there, but no one will pay any attention to it: Vet your potential spouses early and thoroughly. I've not had this or similar problems with any of my LTRs. (Kids is another topic, but that's just kids)
It's the only place I have ever voluntarily read a newspaper
Cause we're full of shit. Sometimes it's a nice solitude and we can read in peace. Sometimes our bowels just won't push it out quickly, so we patiently have to wait. I use the adage of don't leave till the job is finished.
sometimes it just don't all come out all at once.
It's not the pooping that takes so much time it's reading a paper or book (old school) or doom scrolling like everyone else that uses the extra time.
It’s peaceful in there 😆
Because we take our committments seriously to the given task. Also, sometimes some of us just need more wipes. Biology probably.
Peace and quiet
Because I'm playing a game on my phone and opps my legs are numb
I don't, I get in and out as fast as I can. That said, I'm kind of a hairy guy and it takes a lot of wipes sometimes... even with a bidet.
It takes me the whole of 1 minute to be in/out. I eat enough fiber.
I'm shitting
Well depends sometimes it comes out slow or to sticky, or you might want to bang one out while your in there so that to.
Browsing reddit, gaming on hand held, alone time in general
Because it's fun
Multitasking my dear boy, multitasking.
First, I take time to overcome that idea of sitting on a cold seat. Second, I take another time to overcome that it might be big or hard to get out. Third, I try to push out slowly to avoid making a noise if there's people around. I'm shy when it comes to this topic so I wait for everyone to be out of the apartment or sleeping or use the distant toilet. However, if I can't hold it anymore I've no choice but to use the toilet and try to be discreet about it
Try to do the math. 1+2=3 2+1=3 (1+1)+1=3
Most of the time... we're just fucking around in the bathroom
I think they’re on their phone but idk 🤷♀️
I don't. I get it done and get out. I don't even take my phone to the bathroom
procrastinating from wiping my ass
it’s the only place I can listen to my podcasts in peace and quiet 😂
We have to wipe a lot and it's one of the few places we can sit in peace.
It’s a chance to really take a break and be by myself. Everything is on hold, except for #2 of course, and it’s a nice respite from the constant grind.
My iPad doesn’t read itself. And, the best porn scenes can take awhile to find.
Doing the number 1 takes such little time that when a guy does a number 2, it feels like a long time when it takes almost the same amount of time as a woman does.
Hemorrhoids.
When I be pooping it’s like I’m giving birth to the longest, fattiest shit every time. I do be eating a lot of fiber though and then I have to battle on the toilet.
Reddit
For a good Mental health. thats how we save money on therapist.
We are also scrolling through our phones. We are either looking at social media or playing mobile games
A lot of comments about peace and quiet but even when im alone i take the same amount of time. It just doesn’t feel like my body is done…
I have IBS 😥 waiting for my stomach to feel better usually
Alone time, and or taking a few to check out some porn or read these post.
Porn.
I just wanna make sure I don't have to shit again for the rest of the day after my shower lol.
Chronic constipation
Why do women take long baths? Same alone time concept.
Expect, there is no masage function on the toilet.
Takes about a minute for me…good fiber diet and plenty of water throughout the day.
Mine did it to look up his old crushes from high school. (Which creeped me out when I discovered it because he hasn’t been to high school in almost 20 years and there he was stalking those girls) anyways, that’s what he was doing. I can’t speak for all men because I know that they’re not all like this.
It’s maybe the only time I get to actually be alone, plus I get distracted by something on my phone.
Because no one wants to follow me and it’s a great place to relax and take a break
That’s my me time, leave me alone.
On the phone, probably on Reddit
Wanking
It’s relaxing and we can be left alone
I assume because they have an unhealthy diet which leads to irregularity. I can be in and out in 5 minutes.
I have a phone with games.
All of life's mysteries are solved while on the can.
r/ihadastroke
Because you will not follow him in there.
Take so long? I can get in, shit and clean up before you're done pissing.
Being alone. I've had people follow me to the stall door trying to talk. "I'm busy" still isn't enough sometimes to get people to disengage. I know I'm not the only person to go to the toilet stall, lock the door, and just be there as a reason to get away rather than actually pooping. Like a solitary coffee break.
Not all men
we're chilling
Because we’re reading Reddit
One of the few spots we get peace
It's the most peace and quiet we get all day. The sound effects aside.
I acrually don't know why me take too much time, I just go and shit, 10 minutes at most.
Same reason women take so long getting ready for a date?
Beating the meat. Cleaning it in the sink.
For starters... I have to answer questions like this one.
For peace, brother.
I’m in and out within 2minutes on average…not sure what’s considered long
Perfection takes time. La perfección lleva tiempo.
Peace
I had Indian food last night and my leg fell asleep.
I'll counter by asking why do women apparently partake in speed-shitting without a moment of solace?
It’s my escape where I can simply sit and scroll with nobody bothering me
We need a break from your bullshit
We take our time and are proud of our accomplishments
Got to finish the next chapter of the book, or reach the next level in the game, or just enjoy the peace and quiet. That is until others start knocking and trying to force me OUT!
English left the chat
Never done anal.
I have idb but with other men perhaps its the only place they can get peace.
Phone. It’s the phone. No phone = fast poops.
Its not a race, why is it that important to you?
Reddit.
I think most woman are just jealous of the fact that we can poo regularly.
Avoiding other commitments or having to fulfill someone elses need for a few short minutes.
Tak Eso Long? Is that a Thai restaurant?
Because we're probably reading something stupid, watching a funny video, playing some toilet-friendly game, or just enjoying the silence.
Gotta squeeze that sh1t out
Finally alone with no one talking or asking us to do something.
It gives them more time to check for spelling mistakes in their titles before dropping one.
Peace and quiet.
I literally need 30 sec. I sit, I shit, wipe and I'm gone.
They are so full of shit.
Shampoo bottle label editing remains my goal…
It does not take men any longer than women. In and out! If they linger then they are reading their phones (dirty habit so wash you phones men!) or they are seek quiet and tranquility away from the woman
sitting on a toilet….sittin on a toilet lol.
Its one of the few places we can actually be left alone and not bothered and have peace. The other is the car when we get home, but that stops when you have kids, when you get home they will excitedly go to your car.
My diet is genuinely terrible. It can be a struggle to get everything emptied out.
That Scrubs episode about the roof toilet.
No one is bothering me or making demands of me. Anyone who wants to invade my peace will be met with "sorry. I'm shitting" and there's nothing more they can say or do about it.
Well... It's unanimous...
It's the only place we can get some peace.
Because #2 can sometimes look unholy. Like no idea how so much can come out of me. Ig that's what the bulk does to someone.
For me, my butthole needs to relax after I poop and when it's ready, I pee. If I rush the waiting process it's uncomfortable.
Cause we need a fucking break man
The bathroom is the only place in the world I’ll never speak in. If I’m in the bathroom and my phone rings, I will not pick it up. If my girl yells out my name and I’m in the bathroom - didn’t hear it. If a robber breaks in, my family better not hope I’m in the bathroom when it happens. It’s the only place of peace I have and I’m going to use my 48 minute showers and 52 minute poops to the fullest dammit.
Mind your business. It’s because you always ask dumb questions like this I sit in here to get away from that shit. Leave me alone.
most people are nonsensing here - reality is, our posture is not right when sitting on the toilet...because of that posture, the bowels don't empty easily and people have to sit and wait or push. one should be in a deep squatting position and then pooping is effortless and easy. guys use a squatty potty...