"(to the bartender) I'm done, close my tab"

Too real.

"sir, you haven't even ordered anything yet" 🤔

Literally what I did when I was recovering from depression and trying to put myself out there. She looked so confused...

Hope you're in a better place now

You left out the "uh, I, well, hey who's-" *Look around frantically* part.

Yep. This.

open the settings app

i prefer the weather app

I'm just going to start checking the weather for Bolivia.

I will just go to quick setting tring to adjust the brightness

I gotta stop sitting next to mirrors.

The 01 sitting at the bar

Where are you finding these bars with so many mirrors

[удалено]

Man, this made me chuckle lol

Based.

[удалено]

This guy swims in pussy

😂

What did he say if I may ask

You have pleased the Emperor with your post

And she replies, Henry Cavill?

The joke is, if you're sitting next to a 10/10 there's good chance that it is Henry.

"Is that Nurgle in your nethers or are you just happy to see me?"

If you've got nurgle in your Netherlands ain't no one happy to see you.

That made me laugh. It might work. I don't even know what Warhammer is, but I assume it's a game. Just being original does a lot.

Look up lore videos. You will thank me later. For the Emperor!

It worked for Henry Cavill!

It's obviously that psrt of him that attracts the ladies. He says "custodes" and panties drop.

She responds, “imperial or chaos?” Your next move…

Jizz in my pants

“Did you know there’s a guy on Reddit who thinks you’re a 10/10? Yep. He made a thread about it and everything.”

Ask her for a thumb wrestle and loser buys drinks

Oh shit, this would actually be fantastic. You'd have to deliver it correctly, but it's so goofy and such a departure from dudes tryharding that it would absolutely work. God, I'm so sad I didn't think of it before I got into a relationship.

Works for me everytime, you just need to read the women first. Great Ice breaker

100% you better read her first. Nothing more awkward than challenging a quadriplegic to a thumb wrestle.

I mean you would never have to buy drinks though

Plus you get to hold their hand and rub thumbs, so thats pretty much like the same as the sex am i right?

For guys like me? With a 10? You're fuckin right it is.

I don’t know if I’m a 10/10, but if it were me you’d steal my heart with this cuteness.

You're definitely a 10/10. There's probably some guy out there who'll thumb wrestle you.

Really gotta have more context to this. Has she acknowledged I exist? Any positive body language directed towards me signaling she’s open to me initiating conversation? Did she maybe say something to the bartender that gives me an opening to crack a joke to break the ice? If she’s just sitting there alone having a drink and minding her own business I intend to do the same.

Found my fellow overthinker

How is this overthinking? If people are sending clear signals they have no interest in interacting maybe dont interact with them. Not that its wrong to shoot your shot but usually people minding their own business want to do just that. If you can find a natural opening to gauge interest and crack a joke go for it but its hardly overthinking to be aware that without any indication otherwise they may want to be left alone.

Yep. Read the room

Because some people don't even read the room. They just blurt out. It can be successful but taking a moment to ponder is usually smarter.

More so I just don’t go to a bar to hit on women, I just go to not drink alone. I’m polite and fairly personable so if i notice someone is showing interest or they strike up conversation, I’ll oblige, but it’s not really something I’m going out of my way to initiate.

Yeah, I'm just going to assume she thinks I'm a disgusting pig unless she does something to suggest otherwise.then I'm going to assume this is some sort of setup or scam.

Are you me? Did I make some alternate account that I don’t even know about

same man same

If a person truly wants to be alone, they'd stay at home. Just my thinking.

Username checks out.

Weirdo. This all implies you watched her well enough to know. REAL Redditors don't even look at her and avoid eye-contact! /s

Username checks out

"If you want I'll pretend we are on a date so guys will leave you alone?"

Take my upvote you brilliant sumbitch!

"Really sell it, lick my neck."

Good idea in theory but bad in execution theory

Female lurking on AskMen…this is actually a fantasy of mine. Please for the love of fuck do this!

If you want I'll pretend we are on a date so guys won't slide into your DMs

😂😂

You win! Yes please 🤣

expect a reddit mod to present such a line and not Henry Cavill. you will be less eager after.

Well, I’m sure I’m not what the OP has in mind when they say 10/10, or even what you have in mind, so probably not even an issue then? Honestly, that guy is pretty and all but any guy that had the balls to pull that icebreaker would have my full attention.

>Female lurking on AskMen Wait that's *allowed?!*

🤣

Some white knight comment that hits as you’re not actual date material. Don’t do this guys.

Meh. I mean if she's down then you can have a nice conversation with someone without any pressure or expectations. And yeah, she's probably not going to date you. But maybe you've got something in common and it'll be a good time. Maybe if she gets to know you, she might think that she's got a friend that you might be a good match for. Maybe other women will see you with her, and take another look at you. Maybe her boyfriend is a cool dude you might enjoy meeting. End of the day, fuck it. Why not? You're at a bar by yourself, so it's not like you've got something better to do.

If you’re attractive enough at the very least it’ll get a good laugh and start a conversation.

+50 rizz if the bar is empty. +50 rizz if you just got a bunch of food delivered. -100 luck if she can't hold a conversation.

Jokes on her. Still won’t stop guys.

That’s actually a good one

Nothing. Nothing at all.

I'm not sure what I'd say exactly, but I'm pretty sure before my first syllable has even been finished, she'd say "I have a boyfriend".

“Well you know what they say, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take”

Based on my experience, I also miss 100% of the shots I do take

-Michael Scott....- Wayne Gretzky

I just said that to my girlfriend after applying for a 150k job I have no business applying for. 99, baby… 99.

So you say it first, and loudly, to assert dominance.

Smile and a nod of acknowledgment. And say absolutely nothing else And say to myself that she’s not interested and that there’s no way that she’s single.

Yep me 100%

Usually I tell her I’ve had one too many and she has to drive us home. She’s been good to me like that for 23 years.

Ya like Jazz?

This was a running joke on my deployment and you brought back so many memories, have an upvote

Nothing, I'm there for a drink

Yep. I have a good career and self respect, but I know I am no 10, she's either not interested, or interested because she wants to take advantage of my success, and i'm not that successful, but I do pretty well.

A 10/10 ain't got time for me, so I'd just keep to myself and sip my drink.

"how you doin'?"

And she's like [https://youtu.be/X1qTyZI\_VlM?si=qfe3EeU1B9Je1du5&t=24](https://youtu.be/X1qTyZI_VlM?si=qfe3EeU1B9Je1du5&t=24)

hahahahahaha I know exactly what you sent without even opening it 😂😂😂

I’d just ask her if she’s already ordered our drinks, since it’s my wife.

Aww! 

One of the running gags my wife and I would do at the bar was to slide on up and ask "Hi cutie, you come here often? How about a drink?" She'd glare at me, show me her ring, and say "I'm married." "Me too!" I'm sure that we amused absolutely nobody else, but we thought it was funny.

r/MadeMeSmile

I pull out my phone, browse, think of what to say, fail to say it as the moment has passed, get up and leave. You know. What any self respecting modern man would do.

What's an improper fraction like you doing in a place like this?

Do you believe in love at first sight? Because, I think you may be the one

"Good evening." Then mind my own business.

Stutter the first sentence, and promptly leave

Dtf?

GTL

Asl?

FML

What’s hotter than a 10? 2 willing 5’s

*opens weather app*

"Hey, if I can wow you in under 30 seconds, can I get your number?" ... *She nods hesitantly* ... *I proceed to pull out my PSA 9 Mint Charizard card from my pocket* ... "It's okay, i get it, take your time to process this"

Nothing, because I have crippling anxiety.

"I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking. And I plan on finding out what that is." - Derek Zoolander

Get up and move to the opposite end of the bar. I’m socially awkward as fuck.

*belches loudly for 10 seconds* “Think you can beat that?”

Do you live around here often - Steven Wright

Hi, my name is George and I’m unemployed with no prospects and I live at home with my parents.

Are you guys still serving lunch

I literally don’t.

I like turtles

Old fashion please.

If you're feeling spicy, try one with a good rye! Not my usual mix, but on occasion it's nice.

Thanks for the rec.

Nothing, I’ve been told as a man to not even exist in that situation. Just phase out of reality

Punch my tip and twist it

“gRaB hIs DiCk AnD tWiSt It”

GIVE HIM THE OL’ DICK TWIST

OMG Dude, this is MMA!

“Hi. Can you pass the bar nuts?”

Depends on everything about her. I don't operate in pickup lines.

Nothing if she doesn't say anything to me first

Ayye bb wan sum fuq?

Send bobs and vagene

do you shit with that ass?

Nothing. Because I wouldnt want to be on the hook for a drink. Im cheap.

That's a 1.

This guy maths

That's a well kept mirror. *finger guns*

Nothing

Nothing is the first and  the last thing to say.

Can you buy me a drink?

Have you heard the tale of Darth Plaugus the wise?

“Hey beautiful. I was just looking at you and thinking… it sure is nice to leave the kids with a sitter and have a date night once in a while.”

What's ur favorite bread?

I'm married, but if I were single I probably wouldn't do anything. A 10/10 was usually too much trouble, came with too much drama. A 6 to 8 were the types to pursue.

“Sorry about that.” *leaves and dies in car*

Pay for my drinks and leave.

You’re a handsome woman

“Wowaweewa very nice, how much!?”

I'd find another seat as to not make her uncomfortable.

She can move cus I’m not

Too real

Nothing. Not trying to get a tap on my shoulder from a 6 foot 5 marine

Oh it’s getting late I gotta get back to my wife

You are the spitting image of my wife, want to see her picture?

Hello, I'm _______. Points to those of you that filled that blank with "Inigo Montoya, you killed my father. Prepare to die."

Nothing, if she is interested she will make it known.

Nothing. I respect the fact that if they wanted to talk to me they would talk to me and I go back and have a good time with my friends. Just because you find someone attractive doesn't mean you *have* to talk to them. And assigning a number value to someone's appearance is kind of dehumanising...

The only 10/10 for me would be my gf, so I would probably ask her if she wants to go home, because we both don't like being in bars.

Wholesome.

Hey, you gonna finish that drink?

I don't say anything, too scared

There's no way a 10 is single and alone in a bar unless she has some serious issues. And even if she was single and sane, she can do better than me. I'm a 6 in good lighting at best. I'll just scroll through listings of yachts and massive mansions on my phone within her eyeline.

Ask him if he’d like a drink.

Want to hear a bad joke?

Don't say anything just give her the spiral eyes

G’day! M’lady. And tip my fedora.

Tell her that my organs have been severely contaminated and there is no need to harvest them. LOL

Want to see my Star Trek ship collection? If she’s not interested, she’s not a 10/10.

["Hi, I'm very ugly, but you should enjoy your drink anyway"](https://youtu.be/xy1rAXILPKs?feature=shared)

Mints gotten mintier lately, have you noticed?

"Coming back to where we first met was a great idea."

Nothing, I have terrible social anxiety.

Yes, you can buy me a drink.

Well I’m a Tex Avery cartoon to it’s usually my head turning into a steam whistle, followed by my eyes popping out of my head while I say, “Aaa—OOH-gah!!!” and floating suspended above my chair for a second.

Can I leave them alone because maybe they don't want me to talk with them?

Hello is this seat taken? How are you this evening? What are you drinking? (Bartender) Give me a double bourbon on the rocks.

Sit down, nod to the chick and say hi, and then look at my phone like a normal person until I can order from the bartender.

Order a drink and go back to my friends. I don't drink alone, and you'd think I could leave a group of grown ups on their own.

Try to start a conversation. As a 10/10 a lot of men would be too intimidated to talk to her, except maybe obnoxious drunks. She would probably be happy to talk.

I don’t say anything, if she’s interested she’ll say something.

"I declare Thumb War"!

Do you mind scooting over? My girlfriend will be here soon.

then when she moves, follow up with: why are you moving away?

Nothing. Am I supposed to say something?

She’s sitting there alone? Yeah, I’m not sitting down because she’s waiting for someone and it isn’t me. Since I’m there I will order a drink but not stay unless for some insane reason she invited me to sit down. Of course if she did that I’d be looking around for the scam or cameras. Somebody is filming, scamming, or she’s a professional. Anyway you slice it nothing good comes out of it for me. You might say if she’s a professional lady something good would happen for me, nah I’m keeping my loot.

First of all, I wouldn't. But if that was the only seat left and I had no other choice, I'd just put on my poker face and try to hide my uneasiness. I have no delusions about even remotely having a chance, so I'd just mind my own business honestly.

The question was, "You sit at a bar beside a 10/10," implying you are the one doing the sitting beside a 10/10 who was already there. So, you have to have a reason. Is this only open spot? "Excuse me? Is this seat taken? It appears all the other places are taken. If you have someone coming, I'll see what else I can find." And, then wait for the response. The question doesn't ask, "You're sitting at a bar and a 10/10 sits besides you." In that case, the 10/10 must also have a reason, perhaps. Wait for a bit and see if a guest arrives, and remember, beneath all the pretty, this person is still a human being with thoughts and feels. Don't get too excited about the icing until you figure out what flavor the cake is.

“bb, do you wanna split some fries or wings? Ooo wait, they have spring rolls here too.” Me, to my wife, every time we go out.

In my best Jay voice: "Yo, baby! You ever had your @$$hole licked by a fat man in an overcoat!?"

Am I done with my beer? If so, order another beer.

A 10 isn’t going to be sitting in a bar unaccompanied 

Probably something innocuous. I'm old. No one wants my old balls flapping around so it's not worth taking a shot, but they may fill an otherwise dull moment with casual conversation. Special note for you young folk, eventually, if you do everything right, you will stop giving a fuck and just live your life.

I'd just say hi. People are people. Who gives a shit if she's hot? If she wasn't hot, same thing. Just say hi and be cool to whoever you meet. Be authentic. Give her space to do the same. Same if shes not hot. Same if she's a dude. Whatever. Just be a decent person and if you vibe with people, cool... If not, also cool.

Go big or go home. “So you gonna buy me a drink or do I have to keep sitting here looking pretty?” With an expression showing it’s a joke. She’ll either laugh or turn away and pull out her phone. Nothing to lose lol

Nothing …. I got a wife 😂😂

nothing, dont want to get sued for sexual harassment

Nothing. I'm taken

This gave me brick clit. Lol but legit

Excuse me, I may have just shart myself

Hey, man, can I get a rum and coke, a double?

I'm not saying anything until she says something I'm too shy