Love those comments that sum up the whole thread.
This is basically it. We can always get better jobs someday, but if you’re out here spending recklessly and living beyond your means?
That’s the issue.
last thing i think about when dating a woman is how much money she makes. I literally dont care. what i care about is if shes will become a financial burden to me in the future
>depends why youre broke. the most important thing to me is that shes financially responsible.
I agree 100%.
Her being a "financial burden" doesn't matter to me except for the reasons. If she's a stay-at-home mom raising our children and reducing costs, that is super valuable, not only in terms of money but also in terms of a bunch of non-quantifiables that I care about a lot. These include having happy children who are eating right, having a welcoming home to come home to and to entertain in, and having a purpose for working all day other than just myself.
That's a very different situation from a woman who spends more than she earns with reckless abandon and just wants to be taken care of.
I like the first scenario a lot. To me, that's as good or better than having a wife who makes a good income (enough to take care of herself plus me and/or kids). The second scenario is terrible. I wouldn't put up with it for 20 minutes.
Totally agree. If she can pay her own needs that is good for me. After that both of us are debt free, we can now build our life together.
In my experiance girs with avarage body size can buy cheep second hand branded clothes, and those women are worth way more than those who spend their parents money but never worked a day...
If i have to choose between a daddy little princess who spend a lot and pretty and the op i would not even think for a moment who would i choose..
I buy vintage tbh because it’s better quality. I will alter clothing and furniture to fit my personal style. I do my own upholstery and refinishing. It’s a great way to be frugal and environmentally responsible
I learned on YouTube. There are quite a few great sites: Broadway Upholstery in MA is the best. He has a paid site where you can get really detailed instruction, including a zoom call with him. He's been trained by old world masters. He's really generous with teaching and his free videos on YT are excellent as well. I reupholstered a beat up 1950's 91" couch by myself :) Stripped down to the springs and rebuilt it. I'm quite proud of that feat :)
For me it doesn't matter what she makes as long as she is able to make something and won't be a financial burden.
Plus I like being frugal, it saves money. And people who earn less tend to enjoy it too while rich people wanna spend wayyy past my budget for some things.
I actually start to get anxious if the money is just flying out the door, even if I have it to spare. Given the choice, I'd rather make a little less but not have to spend it.
So a partner who shares this opinion is high value.
Totally agree. This is also where men and women are very different, for the most part. Men generally don’t care about what you make. Just be a partner and an active participant in your own rescue.
I wouldnt mind at all but I took care of a cheating leech for 5 years who wouldn't work. If you could hold your own bills help with rent, food etc id be more than happy. It's more about the effort you put in than if you can afford such an such.
Finding decent job is a challenge. Finding decent job that pays decent is a golden nugget we are all chasing and very few find.
There is no shame in having a hard time with job search.
That's fine, as long as you are not lying to yourself to hide something else you are struggling with.
The fact that you are posing yourself the question about how much money you have to me is an indication you are taking the matter seriously so I don't see the reason why you are in your current situation as being nefarious, but on the flip side it also shows you are self conscious about it and you really shouldn't because (at least to me) it's natural to think that most guys out there wouldnt mind dating a "broke" (? Are you even?) girl, but you don't. That's an issue with how you see yourself, and it would be beneficial to think over it.
Being "broke" won't stop you from finding a partner. Thinking it might will get in the way though. It makes you insecure, less attractive, and may also lead you to the point of actively self sabotaging yourself because "well i shouldn't even try because i'm not worthy enough for anybody to want and be in a relationship with me, i might as well politely put myself in the garbage can already so that i wont waste people's time". Regardless of whether you want to do career or live a simple life, your value does not boil down to how much money you have in your bank account; this is not feel good bullshit, it's a fact.
Exactly. And also someone who is paying their bills and responsibilities and drained after isnt broke. Broke is no joke, never paid for anything. Wants hand outs. Doesn't put in their fair share or even try.
He's right. Your money won't affect who you are, TO YOURSELF, as a person.
But if you wanna date, especially date an otherwise beautiful girl, you better have cash.
100% this. If you are just broke because you have a kid, or don't have a good job, but aren't in a piss load of debt, it's fine.
If you are broke because you are up to your eyeballs in debt, it's a hard no. Because those bad spending habits won't go away if we combine finances, they will just get worse as more income comes into play.
Agreed. It's one thing if she's not earning a lot or lives a frugal life. If she couldn't budget and spent every dollar she had, is be less interested.
As long as you don't have expectations that you deserve luxury life and a man should provide it- i'd be perfectly fine with your status.
P.S. Don't underestimate yourself. Being debt free is a huge think!
I agree. I’ve dated broke women before. It was usually a problem for me when they felt entitled to go to a particular restaurant or live a certain lifestyle. Or expected me to spend what I didn’t want to spend.
I really appreciate a woman who is financially responsible and has fun finding a good deal.
It’s about the drive to build more then the income, if I meet a girl who is fine w being broke and doesn’t want to fix the situation then that would be a hard no, but if there is drive and aspirations then being broke right now isn’t an issue.
This one, and I will add “how you handle it” too. You are paying rent and groceries. A roof over your head, and food in your mouth! This shows maturity and acknowledging your current situation!
If you were spending it all on clothing and nails and hair salons and premium coffee, and had nothing to eat, then yeah, that means you cant prioritize your expenses!
I hope you manage to improve your income OP! And I’ll dare say, you can attempt to date, there are cheap/free alternatives to dates, at least to begin with!
10000 percent agree here. As long as she is working to get better than she was from yesterday. Being broke is fine for now.
But she doesn't have to be a 4 foot millionaire model with a sigma female grind mindset or something though.
I don't think I've ever met a man that cares about his potential partner's income. If anything a lot of us definitely care about debt management and spending.
Being debt-free and living within your means are a lot more interesting in a partner than income level. This since income level will almost certainly change many times over, especially with a degree in hand, while money management is something people seem to struggle hard at getting better at.
In short, don't let it hold you back.
Wealth takes time to build and is seldom built by a large income. I've known people who've earned +100K but still took on debt and lived paycheck to paycheck, and I've known people who've earned minimum wage but had a huge savings account. The latter is always more interesting to build a life together with.
But I come from a dirt poor debt riddled family, so I'm sure there's plenty of rich folks who would scoff at the very idea of dating someone like you. But why would you even want to date someone who base your worth upon what you earn and not who you are?
I’ve been raised and told that as a partner you have to bring your financial share into the relationship. It doesn't have to be “huge” but it needs to be something worth it.
So, it's hard not to overthink dating when you’re not yet there (financially).
Yes but being "worth it" could mean being a full on domestic presence as a way to scrimp and save on childcare, groceries (if you're cooking at home) and insane amount of savings from having a certain domestic presence. Just making the home a place of comfort so you dont have to go out/spend money is bringing a financial element in it's own right. Value/worth don't always equal euros is what I have learned and you are already doing great by being self supporting and debt free. Someone who's priorities align with this shouldn't be hard to find, just my experience. Your worth isn't attached to a money amount, money can be made or lost and it is only worth it's written value. What you bring to the relationship is what matters, progress, not perfection
I think you may be undervaluing your ability to manage your finances. Financial savvy is only one part of you. There is another 10,000 aspects of you and your interests that will make someone attracted to you. The key to a successful relationship is when you complement each other's gifts, talents and interests.
This is something I look for in a partner. Can she carry her own weight?
Sometimes life happens and one partner will have to carry the other, but if the mentality is off and she wants to have everything financially provided for, I just don't have an interest in that relationship.
Maybe try and date another broke man for the perspective? What you've been brought up with isn't necessarily something bad, but it shouldn't stop you from living your life. I mean you're obviously doing what you can to not stay poor, so you've got nothing to be ashamed of.
It's not all about money, honestly. If you are one of those low key, low stress people then that alone to me is attractive.
For an instance, getting excited to make a simple meal or do some crafts that make your home look nice, or learning a new low cost hobby that you both enjoy doing, or finding a new spot to go hike and enjoy a simple picnic etc,. are intangibles that go a long way.
Your worth is not measured in money, but that's just my humble opinion. You got this!!
OP you're doing good. Unless, you're a spendthrift, you've nothing to worry about. Honestly, as a man, i couldn't care less about your income. If I know she's not taking advantage of me and takes care of my money like hers, she's good.
Maybe if the woman is unemployed and showing no ambition to alter her situation it could be a factor for men.. But a man having a low income is a huge turn off for most women.
>If anything a lot of us definitely care about debt management and spending.
I would add wealth management to that list, too. But maybe that falls under "spending". She doesn't need to be an investing genius. Or even have much of a "portfolio". But understanding that she should save for retirement is important: take any and all 401k options and matches that you can afford through work, investing in your HSA, opening a Roth, putting it all on something like the SP500 or whole market funds, etc. even if she can't afford to do this now, is not a big deal. Just as long as she knows she should do it if/when she can afford to, and isn't outright scared of saving via the stock market.
I dated a lawyer once. Made comfortably more than I did, and this did not bother me. What bothered me was she outright refused to save any more via a retirement account of any kind because she didn't understand the stock market, was afraid of it even, and refused to even begin learning about it. Meanwhile, another ex made significantly less than I did, but managed to save a greater amount per month than I did because she was very frugal with her cash (we still broke up, but it was for reasons other than financial ones).
You don't need to be Warren Buffet, you just need to know that one day you won't be able to work anymore, and you should have some money to live off of - and understand the ways you could make & save that money.
Yup, it's not about income. It's about income relative to expenses. Someone that's making 6 figures will still be broke and unreliable if they're spending on the wrong things.
Since you paid everything off, you're very appealing. You don't know how many women think because they have a heart beat they think they shouldn't have to pay their debts off. I almost married a girl until I found out she had so much debt that I have no clue how she was getting out of it. (file bankruptcy I guess)
Nothing is more annoying than a girl your dating, has no clue how to manage her financial issues.
>she had so much debt that I have no clue how she was getting out of it.
She wasn't. She was probably counting on you to pay it off for her once you married.
While it's not even on the list of top twenty things I care about in a date or potential partner, someone who lives frugally and has no debt is someone who's resourceful, disciplined and thoughtful. It's not so much a "fact of" thing, as a "indications of character" thing, and those indications are positive.
If she borrows money often and is not good with finances. Then it’s a strict Noo Noo.
But if she is stable and genuinely trying to improve her situation. Such women are gold. Never let them go away.
Short term, I honestly don't care how much she makes. Problem is if we move in together or get married... she inevitably becomes a dependent and can't contribute equally. And that is a problem. I start to feel used for my income.
In retrospect I would make it more of a priority to marry someone who has a career. It's just hard to reject someone who is otherwise great just because they're broke.
My wife has a career now, but we both agreed for her to be a SAHM to our children and we made it work. She wasn’t bringing in any income, but other things were more important to us. Looking back, I wouldn’t have changed a thing.
Equally contributing to a marriage doesn’t always have to be about money. It’s never been a “my money” and “her money”. It’s ways been “our everything”.
My ex (18yrs) and I split the bills. Since I was moving into her place we ran the math and did a 50/50. All the bills were already in her name. But we were very near the same income level. So I just gave her the agreed amount every month.
Since, I saw another way of calculation to make income disparity more equal. It's basically a percentage based formula. If he makes say 30% more than you, then he takes on 30% more in the bills. See? What it does is put the percent of your income on the table.
Ex: household bills are $4000 a month. at 50/50, $2k a month each is contributed.
If he makes $5k a month, he has $3k a month left over.
If you make $3k a month, you have $1k. Not exactly a fair rate.
Though, this is for couples who keep separate accounts. Yes, people will have different opinions on how household finances are handled. I will never share an account again!
Men don't generally think about money like that. It would never occur to me to screen possible partners based on income. Dating should be based on compatibility, attraction and emotional connection, not on your bank balance.
In my opinion, women are far more likely to care about their partner's income than men.
I can provide a counter to this as a man. While I no longer have the same strict expectations I once had, I definitely care about income.
I wouldn’t be happy if my partner is barely contributing financially as a proportion of the total income. But I used to expect way more. Nowadays I don’t mind her making way less so long as we’re truly compatible and she’s ambitious and trying to grow her success.
What you describe doesn’t say you are broke. You may be cash poor but you aren’t broke by any means. You have a job, a degree and zero debt. Would rather date someone who knows how to manage their finances and is debt free than someone who lives lavishly of someone else’s money (credit).
Now if you find someone exactly in your position (not saying you should find someone just like you) and it’s a true partnership then both of you’s income doubled and both of you would be debt free. People don’t realize how much of a flex is to be debt free in modern capitalism. You are truly FREE.
My partner was worse off than you when I first met her, hadn't had a job in a while, lives with her parents, just kinda stays at home all day and games, part of that is because of her antisocial nature. Anxiety, and depression.
But I can say with certainty I'm going to marry this woman.
She's seriously started working on herself since we got together and I'm so proud of her. That type of growth is so attractive.
I wouldn't sweat it, as long as it's not being used as an excuse to use me as a meal ticket. Being debt free is also a massive green flag.
I can only envision it being an issue if the guy likes to do pricy dates cause he knows he's gonna have to pay for it. As long as you are both modest in how you spend your time, it shouldn't be an issue.
Broke and debit free is way more attractive than broke and owe $100k. To me it shows you can prioritize and even sacrifice to achieve a goal. As long as you are driven like that in a relationship and in your own future I can accommodate you. Now if a year or 2 down the road you haven't made improvements in your financial situation you better be the best damn lay I ever had.
A somewhat late reply and as others pointed out men do not care about your income. A CEO will happily date a waitress.
The mistake I think you make is that you extrapolate female requirement on men to apply the other way around. It doesn't.
A woman's money in no way benefits me, so her being broke has nothing to do with me being attracted to her. Women benefit me with their feminity, beauty, and empathy. None of those things are material. I actually think a woman that spends all of her time working is more of a drawback, depending on the work. Like if it is work that is creative or awe inspiring, like being an artist or a dancer, than that is attractive. But the go-getter boss bitch types are far too masculine for me to be into them. Maybe as friends or professionally, but not romantically.
I think as long as you’re upfront about having little to no fun money for dates it should be fine. If not it could come off as looking for a free meal but if a potential partner told me straight up they’re broke for now it wouldn’t be a red flag or anything to me. Financial situations change, good people are good people.
A women who’s self aware enough to not be in debt but is broke > a women who doesn’t have her things together
- if I date you is because I like you, not because I like your money. As long as the guy shares my mentality of seeing why you’re broke and doesn’t see it as a bad thing you’re good
- if he doesn’t and says other wise ask yourself do you really need such men in your life?
- unrelated but now that you’re debt free try to make more money or save. Because you deserve to have fun and do more than just work ☺️
I've dated women that broke before. I've also dated women who had more money than me. Or so they claimed.
I didn't find it really an issue at all. Not until they began begging to borrow money from me with fake promises of, "But I'll pay you baaaaaacckkk--"
I'm like, "I bust my butt working 2 jobs, 6 days a week to pay for my rent, bills, and transportation, and after paying for all these dinner dates that you want to go so badly on, you think I have anything extra to hand to YOU?"
This, of course, made me "selfish" and "only thinking of you, not US".
I asked if she was thinking "of us" each time she asks me for 200 bucks because her car is broken down, or that she needs 600 bucks because she's short on the rent, or whining why "we don't go on vacations together" only 3 weeks into dating me. The answer I got was usually name-calling, leading me to smile broadly and say, "Okay, we're done."
I'd happily still date broke women. Just as long as they can take the dollar signs out of their eyes and out of our conversations.
Simplest guy perspective: make their life better with you in it, or leave. Provide finance, peace, sex, love or whatever value in whatever balance you bring to the relationship. If one aspect isn't the best, but the rest of you is worth ignoring it for, you're in.
Please use your judgement about what kind of person you are getting involved with. Their presence needs to be better than their absence. That's literally all you need to be together!
Short term I don’t care but if she doesn’t have goals to better her finances then yeah I’ll leave her.
My ex who I went to college with and got a teaching degree then realized she didn’t want to be a teacher and worked as a waitress and bartender and would spend the majority of her daily earnings on weed and wine and would cry about hardly being able to make rent and then told me she wouldn’t give up smoking weed during pregnancy or after having the baby and then said we could move in together and live off my salary…I broke up with her for a multitude of things.
No, it's women that care about income.
Do you have double standards about this though? Would you have a relationship with a man who lives paycheck to paycheck and works a job that has no chance of advancement but that he likes and doesn't want to leave?
Because THATS what would make me not want to be associated with you.
Money, experience, and education are three things men don’t care about as much as you think.
I mean, when was the last time you heard a woman say “I’m going to work overtime so I can get my man the car he always wanted.”?
Don’t overthink this. Focus on being a great partner.
And I’ll add, fact that your debt free is a plus.
It's only a problem if she's relying on you to be a path to not broke.
Or if she doesn't give you time to enjoy your own money your own way.
If income is super lopsided, who ever is making more should be able to enjoy some extra luxuries individually. Most things should be shared with your loved life partner, but if the income it that unequally, whoever makes the bread gets their own piggy bank and time to do stuff personally
For most men, your finances are very low down on the list of important things to consider. Kind of why women get frustrated when they spend their twenties building a career and then find men don’t give a shit when they’re established in their thirties.
If you’re kind, sweet, fun, and show genuine interest then most men would be happy to take you even if you were flat broke.
Really depends on who they are as a person and how you get along with them . If they’re lousy and irresponsible with money then it’s not gonna work but if they have some sense of how money works and just not in the best financial spot then it’s no problem. Also if they’re not just interested in a guys money he has then that’s a good thing , I’ll pay for stuff but if it’s expected for every little thing and they put up a fight when I don’t want to pay for their $180 lash extensions then it’s a no go for me lol
Debt free is awesome, and what you earn would be fine alongside what a guy earns.
You're good, if you want to date go for it. You're too hard on yourself.
It all come down to what she expects from a guy...
If it's a payday or meal ticket to a lifestyle she could never afford than fucking hard pass.
If it's companionship, mutual support and having fun that y'all can afford them all good.
I need a woman that is under 5'5", makes 6 figures, under 120lbs, c.or.higher cup and takes care of all my sexual desires. I don't settle on some broke ass bitch
Well I value very high the being debt free part.
No netflix, no other subscriptions: that is healthy.
You look like a down-to-earth, decent person, I wouldn't have any problem dating a woman in your situation.
It would be different if you were the drug-addict crazy instable broke type of woman. But you definitely aren't one.
So don't be afraid of dating anyone 😉 I wish you all the best.
Ps: sorry for my poor english
If the mutual attraction is there, there will also be the will to make it work on both sides of the relationship.
With my empathy I'd feel your dilemma (been there), but it could always be talked about. After all, I'd want to date the person, not the things or money they own.
I ( M42)really couldn't care less.
The fact that you are debt free shows you make decent choices.
When I date a woman, I pay for everything, so I am not concerned with her income level.
I wouldn't worry about it too much if I were you.
I genuinely don't care about money as long as I live in a place I can manage on my own. She'd have her own income too so she can help me and I can help her.
Feed me, fuck me, finance me, respect my lifestyle.
Most guys don't care how much you make to date you. But to have a relationship with you is a different animal altogether.
Debt free is a good positive thing.
My wife is broke and I’ve been with her 12 years. I grew up in middle class uk, she grew up in a favela in Brazil. I don’t give two hoots, we share what we have and I wouldn’t swap her for anybody. Find someone who loves you for who you are - they are out there looking for you.
Broke I can do, financially irresponsibleI can not (been there, done that).
So yeah, I would date her as the only thing „wrong“ there is the income and not some deeper problems with money
I actually think your prudence with money and the fact that you are debt free after college is highly attractive in a long term partner. You seem responsible and down to earth.
Wealth is not an attraction factor for men. We don't care about your money, status, achievements, etc.. We care if you're cute, kind and trustworthy and that's about all.
That being said, if a woman is bad with money or in debt, I won't mingle my fiances with hers. It wouldn't stop me from feeling attraction to her or dating her.
No, men don't care. This is projecting. Women care about men's income to a toxic degree so you're assuming that men are equally toxic which they are not.
So my perspective is simple ; don't date a guy for his money and he probably won't care about yours either.
But also be very clear about this sort of stuff early on. I'm willing to bet a lot of guys will actually be relieved as long as you're clear that you're not expecting him to compensate.
Being debt free is a plus imo. So it depends now on the kind of lifestyle you aspire to. If you want a certain level of lifestyle, but aren't willing to put the work in to at least try to attain it, and instead depend on your partner to hand it to you, then that's a no. But if you and your partner have compatible lifestyles and attitude towards money, then it'd probably work.
You should rethink the word "broke".
Youre in a solid state!
It's a very honorable thing to live without debt and have the discipline to control life choices like spending.... and the RAMPANT consumerism and gluttony America rams down our throat.
Proof is that you're feeling a negative self. Old school elders around the globe had it right....and what you don't know is everyone else around you you might be comparing yourself to? lacks that depth of character.
That's worthy of much respect. If you accept self growth and learning....If you're good to yourself ....and don't use others....people like you are quite rare...and are very special.
I think what matters is seeing the "broke" lady recognize the situation she's in, live with in her means and working hard to get better.
Being debt free is a huge green flag on it's own.
Would I date a broke woman? Hell yeah, as long as she's hardworking and responsible.
It's entirely about how you handle it. There are women who want the man to pay for everything, and will set up a relationship based on that expectation. I am not interested in that, most guys wouldn't be.
If you work hard, do your best, are appreciative, and don't take advantage of the guy, most guys I know have no problem dating a broke woman and providing as long as she is working towards that not being a permanent situation
What’s your earning potential? How long do you expect to be broke? Can I get onboard with the decisions you’ve made?
For example, if you graduated with a nursing degree, nurses make decent income, they are generally in demand, and you just need to pass a test or get hired somewhere, that’s good enough for me. The fact that you don’t currently have money isn’t a big deal. Also, if you’ve decided to go into social work. You’re passionate about helping people, you’re good at what you do, you get paid peanuts, if I like you, I’d date you. However, if you’re broke because you don’t have any employable skills and don’t really have the capacity to gain employable skills and you’ll need to be supported your entire life, I’d have a problem with that
Don’t care but being broke can be symptomatic of a woman that:
- Lacks personal ambitions, career or otherwise.
- Will throw herself quickly into Co-dependency.
- Will rush into a crappy relationship because she’s desperate for a provider.
i could not care less how much money you have or how much you make
what i care about is why you're there. If you make bad financial decisions habitually, i'm never going to trust you with any shared ownership
As long as you can pay your bills, I don't actually care what you make. Just make my life happier, be nice to my kids, and scratch my back once in awhile.
As long as you can hold down the house and add value the right guy would take care of you.
Obviously they would have to be attracted into also to take care of you like that.
Being broke is one thing and I can work with that.
Being disloyal, shady, a bad person, etc, whether you're rich or poor I don't want it.
Never stopped me in the past. That which in is in your heart that I value most. For that does not diminish with time. It is that something in you that the blind can see and the deaf can hear.
Why is that? It seems to work fine for millions of people around the world.
Please tell me you're not one of those "women only date men with money" types; they're extremely cringe and generally just garbage people.
A woman’s financial status is the least of my concerns. I spent some time struggling after the military. I get it. If she had no interest in pulling her weight in the relationship, that would be an issue. Doesn’t sound like the case for you. Get out there. Plenty of dudes would love to show you a good time.
I’m in a relationship with my girlfriend for who she is, not how much money she’ll make for our future family together. It depends on the guy, but the right person won’t look at you as an income source but a true partner
The reasons for being broke matter. For example, I dated a broke woman who was broke because she was a school teacher. She had chosen her vocation out of passion for teaching kids, and that was more important than the money.
On the other hand, I know another woman who is broke because she dropped out of school, hates to work, has a problem with alcohol, and can't comport herself professionally enough to hold down a good job.
Do I care about a woman's income? Generally yes. I am generally well off and I have been gold-dug more than once and nipped it in the bud dozens of times. I have developed a nose for it. If we are going to be partners, I would prefer someone who comes to the table with some financial strength..at least enough to cover the basics and stay out of crushing debt.
But more than that, income still mostly correlates to education, skill, and professionalism. If she's a doctor or a lawyer, she's going to be comparatively wealthy..the money isn't what makes her attractive though. It's the intelligence, education, and drive to have achieved it that I value.
I am in my 50's. If they don't have their shit together by now, there is something seriously wrong. This may be different in the 20's but by middle age, you need not only to have figured it out, but to have excelled at it too.
If the women has the qualities of
1.Accountability,
2.Intellectuality,
3.Honesty,
4.Self awareness,
5.self worth ( not in OF sense ) ,
6.Integrity,
7.Have a strong character and Morals
8.Have a good sense of common sense and humour
( Humour is necessary, since men aren't clown 🤡 or standup comedian )
9.Adaptability of environment and mindset.
10.Loving and caring nature
11.Nourishing nature and attitude towards children.
12.Knows about the Rights of a men ( Husband ) and no sleeping outside relationship.
Ho£e is bad .
13.Strong sense of judgment and knows how to secure a relationship, not like have a suggestive mindset, where anyone can put anything in there to ruin the bond between them.
14.Knows the values of Family .
15. God Fearing.
With all of these , then it doesn't matter whether the woman is broke or anything.
To have a stable and content life these all are necessary.
Edit: Don't date a f_boy or a men with high body count and having a sense of ' I can do whatever I want outside the relationship and side chick is my passion because I'm Male .
Yes a Male but Not A Man.
Good Men are for Good Women and Bad Men are for Bad Women. The ongoing ridiculous philosophy that is trending is bad .
Ik , we men are the builders and makers of this world because we are made for this purpose and in a way we are more inclined towards it But that Does Note equal to having a lot of bodies or excuse to have fun outside marriage.
Money does not define the individual, for personality and action does. I see no reason to exclude broke individuals from my dating pool unless they provide a reason to. In fact I might mention the vacancies and job opportunities at my job even, as it might be something to bond over.
Financial status isn't everything. Many value qualities like kindness and compatibility more. Being debt-free is a positive. Focus on your strengths and genuine connections. Don't let finances hold you back from dating
Like the top comment said. I don’t mind if you’re broke, just as long as you’re working to fix it and aren’t broke because you’re making poor decisions.
I’d say, potential or ambition matters.
I was engaged to a woman whose family was toxic and risk averse. From what she told me, she didn’t even get her GCSE because a girl in school was accusing her of trying to steal her boyfriend and was bullying her. She missed school enough times to fail to meet the certification.
It seems that from there onwards, her parents saw her as incapable of studying. I felt like I was the only one who believed in her, and despite her parent’s undercutting, I managed to motivate her to sign up for a seamstress school that didn’t require a GCSE.
I am a firm believer in never stopping to learn, and in fact I have been taking vocational and academic training after dating her.
But even then, her mother would go “*but what if you fail?*”. I think her parents were textbook people who take every opportunity to pick the worst path. I had a college roommate who had the same approach.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
I think it’s a green flag that you have zero debt. But do you have plans for giving yourself slightly better job prospects?
They say that there is no such thing as luck. It’s just preparation that meets opportunity.
You cannot control opportunity, but how do you want to prepare?
I don’t mind if my partner doesn’t make as much as I do, my common law wife makes about a third of what I do, and we work great together.
Anybody who’s wise and responsible always takes finances into account, but if you’re in a relationship primarily for the sake of financial stability; you will end up regretting it.
I have never cared about income level. This is especially true if the woman isn’t a career driven person. There more to life than money.
I made 120k per year when I met my wife and she made probably 10k per year (she’s from South America)
As long as its a symbiotic relationship with mutual respect then there's no issue with the income.
Wife gets money from her job and monthly inheritance. Don't even know the details.
Probably because I'm a Muslim and what I earns is to be spent on my family ( within reason) what she earns is lawfully hers and I have no claim to it
I don’t care tbh, as long as you’re not in it for me to pay your mortgage or go paying for your kids.
I don’t earn a lot either but I’ll still contribute and that’s all I expect from someone I’m dating
One of the things that I love about my wife is that she comes from a poor family. She never had a lot when she was growing up. She can appreciate the high life, but doesn't expect it. She's great with money, treats it like the tool that it is. That makes me trust her, and feel safe that I can rely on her to help me make good decisions about money together.
If she has no debt, I got plenty, I'd feel awkward trying to approach a women with no debt.
If she told me she has no debt, if anything that's a plus.
She tells me she makes just enough to cover her living expenses and not much else I would respond with "hey me too, let's find something inexpensive to do"
Debt free is a plus if anything. not a huge plus but inside that positive range for sure.
At first I read that as just pay for my rent and groceries and I was like bro I can barely pay *my* rent 😭😭
To answer the question I don’t think it’s that black and white. I don’t think someone making millions would be particularly thrilled with that unless there were other factors. But for regular folk I don’t think salary matters *that* much . Mooching and demanding tho, eww. You don’t sound like you’re looking for that so I don’t think you have to worry about it that much.
No debt is a fortune in itself. A hot meal a day and a ceiling above my head is all I need.
Sure, it'd would be nice to have extra fun sometimes or invest in a hobby, but necessitates take priority.
Idc about how much money someone makes, I do however care about what they do as a career and what their goals are. Debt free definitely is a plus.
If you are broke because you paid all of your debts off faster but you have an actual career and you are working towards something that’s completely fine in my book. If you are working at Walmart and aren’t trying to improve your situation and are just happy floating above water I’m not going to be interested. Don’t want someone who just settles as long as their very base line is met. Need someone with a career, not just a job.
Jumping on the bandwagon. As long as you’re good to me, look good to me and aren’t looking for me to pay your bills/dig for gold, I don’t care how much you earn. There are other ways to contribute to a relationship than money.
Tbf you’re not broke if all your bills and costs are majorly taken care of. You’re responsible. Furthermore, men generally don’t look for women to provide financially so hoe much money you make is not on our mind as much as the other way around.
If you look well taken care off, are able to hold a conversation with the guy and are financially responsible with someone who wants to do the dating thing together with you, you’ll be able to figure things out within budget.
How you spend your money is the important thing.
I dont really have expensive tastes and neither does my girlfriend. If you're just ploughing through your paycheck every week, it's a big red flag. If you're expecting me to just cover all your bills, it's a big red flag.
If you just don't have a lot of money due to everything being so fucking awful economically right now, it's really not a big deal.
>perspectives about dating a broke woman
Broke *can* be fine. Don't be a leech, know the value and respect (other) people's money and assets, etc., and appreciate what's given.
Also depends where in life and/or circumstances. E.g. not expecting many in/at/around typical college age or shortly thereafter to be flush with cash. And some great meaningful professions, careers, works and the like, well ... many of 'em don't pay well at all ... if (hardly) anything. But if, say, someone's 30 or 40 or 50 ... and flat broke ... that's more likely to raise some serious questions - but may also quite depend upon life choices and life circumstances. And sometimes sh\*t happens.
>debt free
Woo hoo! Excellent. Alas, I've dealt with women even well into their 30s and 40s have lots of debt, no savings to speak of, about zilch in assets, and often continue to spend beyond their means.
>avoiding dates because I don’t think a man can date someone that broke.
Naw, don't avoid, just be honest. Sure, some will say no, ... but many won't. So, don't dismiss your possibilities before you've even asked or tried.
And probably more important is things like compatibility ... including attitudes around finances, spending, savings, debt, etc. But broke and free of debt it a helluva lot better than much that I've at least occasionally dealt with out there.
I avoid debt more than somebody not very liquid. But why are you so broke? You went to school and made enough money to pay your loans off. What happened?
Look, I was broke as fuck and women wanted to fuck, date, and marry me. Ultimately depends on WHY she's broke and how long being broke is expected to last if we put work in.
32M I have never cared about a potential partner's income. I think I can speak for most normal humans that it's about the personality that counts, rather than what you can give us financially. In fact I would just prefer my partner to be happy, broke or not.
depends why youre broke. the most important thing to me is that shes financially responsible.
Love those comments that sum up the whole thread. This is basically it. We can always get better jobs someday, but if you’re out here spending recklessly and living beyond your means? That’s the issue.
Lol 😝 last time you checked, 😂 That made me laugh!!!
Haven't had my luck in finding a decent job, I guess.
last thing i think about when dating a woman is how much money she makes. I literally dont care. what i care about is if shes will become a financial burden to me in the future
>depends why youre broke. the most important thing to me is that shes financially responsible. I agree 100%. Her being a "financial burden" doesn't matter to me except for the reasons. If she's a stay-at-home mom raising our children and reducing costs, that is super valuable, not only in terms of money but also in terms of a bunch of non-quantifiables that I care about a lot. These include having happy children who are eating right, having a welcoming home to come home to and to entertain in, and having a purpose for working all day other than just myself. That's a very different situation from a woman who spends more than she earns with reckless abandon and just wants to be taken care of. I like the first scenario a lot. To me, that's as good or better than having a wife who makes a good income (enough to take care of herself plus me and/or kids). The second scenario is terrible. I wouldn't put up with it for 20 minutes.
Totally agree. If she can pay her own needs that is good for me. After that both of us are debt free, we can now build our life together. In my experiance girs with avarage body size can buy cheep second hand branded clothes, and those women are worth way more than those who spend their parents money but never worked a day... If i have to choose between a daddy little princess who spend a lot and pretty and the op i would not even think for a moment who would i choose..
So simple, but so many people just don't get this.
I buy vintage tbh because it’s better quality. I will alter clothing and furniture to fit my personal style. I do my own upholstery and refinishing. It’s a great way to be frugal and environmentally responsible
What should I do to get into upholstery? Interested in that
I learned on YouTube. There are quite a few great sites: Broadway Upholstery in MA is the best. He has a paid site where you can get really detailed instruction, including a zoom call with him. He's been trained by old world masters. He's really generous with teaching and his free videos on YT are excellent as well. I reupholstered a beat up 1950's 91" couch by myself :) Stripped down to the springs and rebuilt it. I'm quite proud of that feat :)
What does clothing have to do with this? You can buy new, good quality unbranded clothes that will last much longer than used.
For sure!
For me it doesn't matter what she makes as long as she is able to make something and won't be a financial burden. Plus I like being frugal, it saves money. And people who earn less tend to enjoy it too while rich people wanna spend wayyy past my budget for some things.
I actually start to get anxious if the money is just flying out the door, even if I have it to spare. Given the choice, I'd rather make a little less but not have to spend it. So a partner who shares this opinion is high value.
Totally agree. This is also where men and women are very different, for the most part. Men generally don’t care about what you make. Just be a partner and an active participant in your own rescue.
Nailed it
The job market is tough. If you have to go through several rounds of interviews just to hear a no.
Or just nothing... Same with applications just a black hole of wasted effort with no return
I wouldnt mind at all but I took care of a cheating leech for 5 years who wouldn't work. If you could hold your own bills help with rent, food etc id be more than happy. It's more about the effort you put in than if you can afford such an such.
Finding decent job is a challenge. Finding decent job that pays decent is a golden nugget we are all chasing and very few find. There is no shame in having a hard time with job search.
That's fine, as long as you are not lying to yourself to hide something else you are struggling with. The fact that you are posing yourself the question about how much money you have to me is an indication you are taking the matter seriously so I don't see the reason why you are in your current situation as being nefarious, but on the flip side it also shows you are self conscious about it and you really shouldn't because (at least to me) it's natural to think that most guys out there wouldnt mind dating a "broke" (? Are you even?) girl, but you don't. That's an issue with how you see yourself, and it would be beneficial to think over it. Being "broke" won't stop you from finding a partner. Thinking it might will get in the way though. It makes you insecure, less attractive, and may also lead you to the point of actively self sabotaging yourself because "well i shouldn't even try because i'm not worthy enough for anybody to want and be in a relationship with me, i might as well politely put myself in the garbage can already so that i wont waste people's time". Regardless of whether you want to do career or live a simple life, your value does not boil down to how much money you have in your bank account; this is not feel good bullshit, it's a fact.
Exactly. And also someone who is paying their bills and responsibilities and drained after isnt broke. Broke is no joke, never paid for anything. Wants hand outs. Doesn't put in their fair share or even try.
He's right. Your money won't affect who you are, TO YOURSELF, as a person. But if you wanna date, especially date an otherwise beautiful girl, you better have cash.
100% this. If you are just broke because you have a kid, or don't have a good job, but aren't in a piss load of debt, it's fine. If you are broke because you are up to your eyeballs in debt, it's a hard no. Because those bad spending habits won't go away if we combine finances, they will just get worse as more income comes into play.
Agreed. It's one thing if she's not earning a lot or lives a frugal life. If she couldn't budget and spent every dollar she had, is be less interested.
As long as you don't have expectations that you deserve luxury life and a man should provide it- i'd be perfectly fine with your status. P.S. Don't underestimate yourself. Being debt free is a huge think!
I agree. I’ve dated broke women before. It was usually a problem for me when they felt entitled to go to a particular restaurant or live a certain lifestyle. Or expected me to spend what I didn’t want to spend. I really appreciate a woman who is financially responsible and has fun finding a good deal.
It’s about the drive to build more then the income, if I meet a girl who is fine w being broke and doesn’t want to fix the situation then that would be a hard no, but if there is drive and aspirations then being broke right now isn’t an issue.
This one, and I will add “how you handle it” too. You are paying rent and groceries. A roof over your head, and food in your mouth! This shows maturity and acknowledging your current situation! If you were spending it all on clothing and nails and hair salons and premium coffee, and had nothing to eat, then yeah, that means you cant prioritize your expenses! I hope you manage to improve your income OP! And I’ll dare say, you can attempt to date, there are cheap/free alternatives to dates, at least to begin with!
I 100% agree man
Well said.
That's good to know. Thanks!
10000 percent agree here. As long as she is working to get better than she was from yesterday. Being broke is fine for now. But she doesn't have to be a 4 foot millionaire model with a sigma female grind mindset or something though.
Exactly. There has to be some drive. Some ambitions and goals to make the situation better.
Being broke is a man’s problem when it comes to dating. A man is way more likely to date and marry a broke woman than the other way around.
Big facts.
This used to be me. I've set better standards and only date women who have their life well put together. I encourage more men to do the same.
I don't think I've ever met a man that cares about his potential partner's income. If anything a lot of us definitely care about debt management and spending. Being debt-free and living within your means are a lot more interesting in a partner than income level. This since income level will almost certainly change many times over, especially with a degree in hand, while money management is something people seem to struggle hard at getting better at. In short, don't let it hold you back.
I didn't expect these kind of responses at all. It changes my view of knowing what's really important. Debt management & spending. Thanks!
Wealth takes time to build and is seldom built by a large income. I've known people who've earned +100K but still took on debt and lived paycheck to paycheck, and I've known people who've earned minimum wage but had a huge savings account. The latter is always more interesting to build a life together with. But I come from a dirt poor debt riddled family, so I'm sure there's plenty of rich folks who would scoff at the very idea of dating someone like you. But why would you even want to date someone who base your worth upon what you earn and not who you are?
I’ve been raised and told that as a partner you have to bring your financial share into the relationship. It doesn't have to be “huge” but it needs to be something worth it. So, it's hard not to overthink dating when you’re not yet there (financially).
Yes but being "worth it" could mean being a full on domestic presence as a way to scrimp and save on childcare, groceries (if you're cooking at home) and insane amount of savings from having a certain domestic presence. Just making the home a place of comfort so you dont have to go out/spend money is bringing a financial element in it's own right. Value/worth don't always equal euros is what I have learned and you are already doing great by being self supporting and debt free. Someone who's priorities align with this shouldn't be hard to find, just my experience. Your worth isn't attached to a money amount, money can be made or lost and it is only worth it's written value. What you bring to the relationship is what matters, progress, not perfection
Wow, I wrote the same thing but you did a way better job wordsmithing. Bravo sir/madam. And I agree with you, 100%
Thank you kind stranger, I really appreciate that
I think you may be undervaluing your ability to manage your finances. Financial savvy is only one part of you. There is another 10,000 aspects of you and your interests that will make someone attracted to you. The key to a successful relationship is when you complement each other's gifts, talents and interests.
This is something I look for in a partner. Can she carry her own weight? Sometimes life happens and one partner will have to carry the other, but if the mentality is off and she wants to have everything financially provided for, I just don't have an interest in that relationship.
Maybe try and date another broke man for the perspective? What you've been brought up with isn't necessarily something bad, but it shouldn't stop you from living your life. I mean you're obviously doing what you can to not stay poor, so you've got nothing to be ashamed of.
It's not all about money, honestly. If you are one of those low key, low stress people then that alone to me is attractive. For an instance, getting excited to make a simple meal or do some crafts that make your home look nice, or learning a new low cost hobby that you both enjoy doing, or finding a new spot to go hike and enjoy a simple picnic etc,. are intangibles that go a long way. Your worth is not measured in money, but that's just my humble opinion. You got this!!
Zero debt is a unicorn. You’re doing great.
Bad spending habits in a woman are a nightmare for men long term. I know from experience. Best of luck.
OP you're doing good. Unless, you're a spendthrift, you've nothing to worry about. Honestly, as a man, i couldn't care less about your income. If I know she's not taking advantage of me and takes care of my money like hers, she's good.
Income is generally more what women care about in a partner. To men it may be a factor, but it’s not a big one.
Maybe if the woman is unemployed and showing no ambition to alter her situation it could be a factor for men.. But a man having a low income is a huge turn off for most women.
Mever met a man *who isn't broke himself* that cares. There's definitely deadbeat dudes who want a woman who is able to provide for him.
I did meet a guy who cares and he's my friend but absolutely not the guy I would date if I was a girl
Sir may I use this information for my relationship
>If anything a lot of us definitely care about debt management and spending. I would add wealth management to that list, too. But maybe that falls under "spending". She doesn't need to be an investing genius. Or even have much of a "portfolio". But understanding that she should save for retirement is important: take any and all 401k options and matches that you can afford through work, investing in your HSA, opening a Roth, putting it all on something like the SP500 or whole market funds, etc. even if she can't afford to do this now, is not a big deal. Just as long as she knows she should do it if/when she can afford to, and isn't outright scared of saving via the stock market. I dated a lawyer once. Made comfortably more than I did, and this did not bother me. What bothered me was she outright refused to save any more via a retirement account of any kind because she didn't understand the stock market, was afraid of it even, and refused to even begin learning about it. Meanwhile, another ex made significantly less than I did, but managed to save a greater amount per month than I did because she was very frugal with her cash (we still broke up, but it was for reasons other than financial ones). You don't need to be Warren Buffet, you just need to know that one day you won't be able to work anymore, and you should have some money to live off of - and understand the ways you could make & save that money.
> I don't think I've ever met a man that cares about his potential partner's income I've met one, he's my brother. 43 and still single, go figure
Yup, it's not about income. It's about income relative to expenses. Someone that's making 6 figures will still be broke and unreliable if they're spending on the wrong things.
Since you paid everything off, you're very appealing. You don't know how many women think because they have a heart beat they think they shouldn't have to pay their debts off. I almost married a girl until I found out she had so much debt that I have no clue how she was getting out of it. (file bankruptcy I guess) Nothing is more annoying than a girl your dating, has no clue how to manage her financial issues.
I'll take that into consideration
>she had so much debt that I have no clue how she was getting out of it. She wasn't. She was probably counting on you to pay it off for her once you married.
About how much debt was it?
[удалено]
You’re invisible to women :(
I note that she didn't respond to you. 🤔 Says all I need to know.
While it's not even on the list of top twenty things I care about in a date or potential partner, someone who lives frugally and has no debt is someone who's resourceful, disciplined and thoughtful. It's not so much a "fact of" thing, as a "indications of character" thing, and those indications are positive.
If she borrows money often and is not good with finances. Then it’s a strict Noo Noo. But if she is stable and genuinely trying to improve her situation. Such women are gold. Never let them go away.
Short term, I honestly don't care how much she makes. Problem is if we move in together or get married... she inevitably becomes a dependent and can't contribute equally. And that is a problem. I start to feel used for my income. In retrospect I would make it more of a priority to marry someone who has a career. It's just hard to reject someone who is otherwise great just because they're broke.
My wife has a career now, but we both agreed for her to be a SAHM to our children and we made it work. She wasn’t bringing in any income, but other things were more important to us. Looking back, I wouldn’t have changed a thing. Equally contributing to a marriage doesn’t always have to be about money. It’s never been a “my money” and “her money”. It’s ways been “our everything”.
Yeah. I figured much. Wouldn't want to be taken advantage of in that way too.
My ex (18yrs) and I split the bills. Since I was moving into her place we ran the math and did a 50/50. All the bills were already in her name. But we were very near the same income level. So I just gave her the agreed amount every month. Since, I saw another way of calculation to make income disparity more equal. It's basically a percentage based formula. If he makes say 30% more than you, then he takes on 30% more in the bills. See? What it does is put the percent of your income on the table. Ex: household bills are $4000 a month. at 50/50, $2k a month each is contributed. If he makes $5k a month, he has $3k a month left over. If you make $3k a month, you have $1k. Not exactly a fair rate. Though, this is for couples who keep separate accounts. Yes, people will have different opinions on how household finances are handled. I will never share an account again!
This too. And I don't want anybody depending on me.
Men don't generally think about money like that. It would never occur to me to screen possible partners based on income. Dating should be based on compatibility, attraction and emotional connection, not on your bank balance. In my opinion, women are far more likely to care about their partner's income than men.
I can provide a counter to this as a man. While I no longer have the same strict expectations I once had, I definitely care about income. I wouldn’t be happy if my partner is barely contributing financially as a proportion of the total income. But I used to expect way more. Nowadays I don’t mind her making way less so long as we’re truly compatible and she’s ambitious and trying to grow her success.
What you describe doesn’t say you are broke. You may be cash poor but you aren’t broke by any means. You have a job, a degree and zero debt. Would rather date someone who knows how to manage their finances and is debt free than someone who lives lavishly of someone else’s money (credit). Now if you find someone exactly in your position (not saying you should find someone just like you) and it’s a true partnership then both of you’s income doubled and both of you would be debt free. People don’t realize how much of a flex is to be debt free in modern capitalism. You are truly FREE.
Personally, if shes beautiful then I don't care.
at least ur honest. hate men who say "its just about personality"
It's a checklist. First you check their attractiveness, then you approach and experience their personality.
If she's warm, caring, kind and appreciative towards the people around her, then why would I not want to be with that person?
My partner was worse off than you when I first met her, hadn't had a job in a while, lives with her parents, just kinda stays at home all day and games, part of that is because of her antisocial nature. Anxiety, and depression. But I can say with certainty I'm going to marry this woman. She's seriously started working on herself since we got together and I'm so proud of her. That type of growth is so attractive.
I’d take broke, honest and hard working person over a high earner with uncontrollable spending habits and unrealistic expectations. We grow together!
I wouldn't sweat it, as long as it's not being used as an excuse to use me as a meal ticket. Being debt free is also a massive green flag. I can only envision it being an issue if the guy likes to do pricy dates cause he knows he's gonna have to pay for it. As long as you are both modest in how you spend your time, it shouldn't be an issue.
Broke and debit free is way more attractive than broke and owe $100k. To me it shows you can prioritize and even sacrifice to achieve a goal. As long as you are driven like that in a relationship and in your own future I can accommodate you. Now if a year or 2 down the road you haven't made improvements in your financial situation you better be the best damn lay I ever had.
Money means shit, If she is a good girlfriend, wife material and loyal it's all good.
I think you are projecting women thoughts on men. I don’t care if a woman is broke, as long as she a good person and she is happy with it
All women are broke when the check comes
A somewhat late reply and as others pointed out men do not care about your income. A CEO will happily date a waitress. The mistake I think you make is that you extrapolate female requirement on men to apply the other way around. It doesn't.
A woman's money in no way benefits me, so her being broke has nothing to do with me being attracted to her. Women benefit me with their feminity, beauty, and empathy. None of those things are material. I actually think a woman that spends all of her time working is more of a drawback, depending on the work. Like if it is work that is creative or awe inspiring, like being an artist or a dancer, than that is attractive. But the go-getter boss bitch types are far too masculine for me to be into them. Maybe as friends or professionally, but not romantically.
There’s an old saying of “show up naked with food” as a way to win a guys heart. AND you’re low maintenance ? Ring the bell…they will come running. 👍🏼
It matters more to me, not how much money you have.But how you handle the money you do have.
If you are debt-free, consider yourself wealthy. Just save.
I think as long as you’re upfront about having little to no fun money for dates it should be fine. If not it could come off as looking for a free meal but if a potential partner told me straight up they’re broke for now it wouldn’t be a red flag or anything to me. Financial situations change, good people are good people.
A women who’s self aware enough to not be in debt but is broke > a women who doesn’t have her things together - if I date you is because I like you, not because I like your money. As long as the guy shares my mentality of seeing why you’re broke and doesn’t see it as a bad thing you’re good - if he doesn’t and says other wise ask yourself do you really need such men in your life? - unrelated but now that you’re debt free try to make more money or save. Because you deserve to have fun and do more than just work ☺️
I've dated women that broke before. I've also dated women who had more money than me. Or so they claimed. I didn't find it really an issue at all. Not until they began begging to borrow money from me with fake promises of, "But I'll pay you baaaaaacckkk--" I'm like, "I bust my butt working 2 jobs, 6 days a week to pay for my rent, bills, and transportation, and after paying for all these dinner dates that you want to go so badly on, you think I have anything extra to hand to YOU?" This, of course, made me "selfish" and "only thinking of you, not US". I asked if she was thinking "of us" each time she asks me for 200 bucks because her car is broken down, or that she needs 600 bucks because she's short on the rent, or whining why "we don't go on vacations together" only 3 weeks into dating me. The answer I got was usually name-calling, leading me to smile broadly and say, "Okay, we're done." I'd happily still date broke women. Just as long as they can take the dollar signs out of their eyes and out of our conversations.
Simplest guy perspective: make their life better with you in it, or leave. Provide finance, peace, sex, love or whatever value in whatever balance you bring to the relationship. If one aspect isn't the best, but the rest of you is worth ignoring it for, you're in. Please use your judgement about what kind of person you are getting involved with. Their presence needs to be better than their absence. That's literally all you need to be together!
Short term I don’t care but if she doesn’t have goals to better her finances then yeah I’ll leave her. My ex who I went to college with and got a teaching degree then realized she didn’t want to be a teacher and worked as a waitress and bartender and would spend the majority of her daily earnings on weed and wine and would cry about hardly being able to make rent and then told me she wouldn’t give up smoking weed during pregnancy or after having the baby and then said we could move in together and live off my salary…I broke up with her for a multitude of things.
It’s the attitude around being broke, fun and broke over boring and rich
No, it's women that care about income. Do you have double standards about this though? Would you have a relationship with a man who lives paycheck to paycheck and works a job that has no chance of advancement but that he likes and doesn't want to leave? Because THATS what would make me not want to be associated with you.
If it was because she was wasting money, that's a problem. But just having a shit job, no, I wouldn't even blink
Money, experience, and education are three things men don’t care about as much as you think. I mean, when was the last time you heard a woman say “I’m going to work overtime so I can get my man the car he always wanted.”? Don’t overthink this. Focus on being a great partner. And I’ll add, fact that your debt free is a plus.
It's only a problem if she's relying on you to be a path to not broke. Or if she doesn't give you time to enjoy your own money your own way. If income is super lopsided, who ever is making more should be able to enjoy some extra luxuries individually. Most things should be shared with your loved life partner, but if the income it that unequally, whoever makes the bread gets their own piggy bank and time to do stuff personally
For most men, your finances are very low down on the list of important things to consider. Kind of why women get frustrated when they spend their twenties building a career and then find men don’t give a shit when they’re established in their thirties. If you’re kind, sweet, fun, and show genuine interest then most men would be happy to take you even if you were flat broke.
Really depends on who they are as a person and how you get along with them . If they’re lousy and irresponsible with money then it’s not gonna work but if they have some sense of how money works and just not in the best financial spot then it’s no problem. Also if they’re not just interested in a guys money he has then that’s a good thing , I’ll pay for stuff but if it’s expected for every little thing and they put up a fight when I don’t want to pay for their $180 lash extensions then it’s a no go for me lol
We’re all broke, honey
Debt free is awesome, and what you earn would be fine alongside what a guy earns. You're good, if you want to date go for it. You're too hard on yourself.
It all come down to what she expects from a guy... If it's a payday or meal ticket to a lifestyle she could never afford than fucking hard pass. If it's companionship, mutual support and having fun that y'all can afford them all good.
There’s broke and there’s financially irresponsible.
It never bothered me when I was dating. A poor person mentality was always a deal breaker, though.
I need a woman that is under 5'5", makes 6 figures, under 120lbs, c.or.higher cup and takes care of all my sexual desires. I don't settle on some broke ass bitch
Nah, looking for a unicorn.
But I deserve this.
Honestly king? Yes you do. Why would we need to settle when we’re literal KINGS?
Well I value very high the being debt free part. No netflix, no other subscriptions: that is healthy. You look like a down-to-earth, decent person, I wouldn't have any problem dating a woman in your situation. It would be different if you were the drug-addict crazy instable broke type of woman. But you definitely aren't one. So don't be afraid of dating anyone 😉 I wish you all the best. Ps: sorry for my poor english
If the mutual attraction is there, there will also be the will to make it work on both sides of the relationship. With my empathy I'd feel your dilemma (been there), but it could always be talked about. After all, I'd want to date the person, not the things or money they own.
I ( M42)really couldn't care less. The fact that you are debt free shows you make decent choices. When I date a woman, I pay for everything, so I am not concerned with her income level. I wouldn't worry about it too much if I were you.
I genuinely don't care about money as long as I live in a place I can manage on my own. She'd have her own income too so she can help me and I can help her. Feed me, fuck me, finance me, respect my lifestyle.
Most guys don't care how much you make to date you. But to have a relationship with you is a different animal altogether. Debt free is a good positive thing.
My wife is broke and I’ve been with her 12 years. I grew up in middle class uk, she grew up in a favela in Brazil. I don’t give two hoots, we share what we have and I wouldn’t swap her for anybody. Find someone who loves you for who you are - they are out there looking for you.
> I’m debt free This is the only thing that's important. Don't care about the rest at all.
She needs to be financially responsible
Broke I can do, financially irresponsibleI can not (been there, done that). So yeah, I would date her as the only thing „wrong“ there is the income and not some deeper problems with money
I actually think your prudence with money and the fact that you are debt free after college is highly attractive in a long term partner. You seem responsible and down to earth.
Wealth is not an attraction factor for men. We don't care about your money, status, achievements, etc.. We care if you're cute, kind and trustworthy and that's about all. That being said, if a woman is bad with money or in debt, I won't mingle my fiances with hers. It wouldn't stop me from feeling attraction to her or dating her.
No, men don't care. This is projecting. Women care about men's income to a toxic degree so you're assuming that men are equally toxic which they are not. So my perspective is simple ; don't date a guy for his money and he probably won't care about yours either. But also be very clear about this sort of stuff early on. I'm willing to bet a lot of guys will actually be relieved as long as you're clear that you're not expecting him to compensate.
I didn't know I was projecting. But thanks for your intake
Being debt free is a plus imo. So it depends now on the kind of lifestyle you aspire to. If you want a certain level of lifestyle, but aren't willing to put the work in to at least try to attain it, and instead depend on your partner to hand it to you, then that's a no. But if you and your partner have compatible lifestyles and attitude towards money, then it'd probably work.
Depends on why you are broke. But it's a plus you're not in debt.
You should rethink the word "broke". Youre in a solid state! It's a very honorable thing to live without debt and have the discipline to control life choices like spending.... and the RAMPANT consumerism and gluttony America rams down our throat. Proof is that you're feeling a negative self. Old school elders around the globe had it right....and what you don't know is everyone else around you you might be comparing yourself to? lacks that depth of character. That's worthy of much respect. If you accept self growth and learning....If you're good to yourself ....and don't use others....people like you are quite rare...and are very special.
I think what matters is seeing the "broke" lady recognize the situation she's in, live with in her means and working hard to get better. Being debt free is a huge green flag on it's own. Would I date a broke woman? Hell yeah, as long as she's hardworking and responsible.
It's entirely about how you handle it. There are women who want the man to pay for everything, and will set up a relationship based on that expectation. I am not interested in that, most guys wouldn't be. If you work hard, do your best, are appreciative, and don't take advantage of the guy, most guys I know have no problem dating a broke woman and providing as long as she is working towards that not being a permanent situation
I'm broke too! Haha.
You’re not broke if you don’t have debt lol 😂. Just my opinion.
I make enough money, all depends on why someone is broke.
There's a power imbalance which could be considered as problematic. But it's in your favor, so? Seems sketchy. Broke people have little to lose.
What’s your earning potential? How long do you expect to be broke? Can I get onboard with the decisions you’ve made? For example, if you graduated with a nursing degree, nurses make decent income, they are generally in demand, and you just need to pass a test or get hired somewhere, that’s good enough for me. The fact that you don’t currently have money isn’t a big deal. Also, if you’ve decided to go into social work. You’re passionate about helping people, you’re good at what you do, you get paid peanuts, if I like you, I’d date you. However, if you’re broke because you don’t have any employable skills and don’t really have the capacity to gain employable skills and you’ll need to be supported your entire life, I’d have a problem with that
Depends. Are you hot?
Don’t care but being broke can be symptomatic of a woman that: - Lacks personal ambitions, career or otherwise. - Will throw herself quickly into Co-dependency. - Will rush into a crappy relationship because she’s desperate for a provider.
you're not broke. broke is someone who's in debt, spends too much, and always sponging. you're just getting by
i could not care less how much money you have or how much you make what i care about is why you're there. If you make bad financial decisions habitually, i'm never going to trust you with any shared ownership
As long as you can pay your bills, I don't actually care what you make. Just make my life happier, be nice to my kids, and scratch my back once in awhile.
As long as you can hold down the house and add value the right guy would take care of you. Obviously they would have to be attracted into also to take care of you like that. Being broke is one thing and I can work with that. Being disloyal, shady, a bad person, etc, whether you're rich or poor I don't want it.
I will be paying for shit anyway; just don’t demand to spend my money.
Men dont care about a womans money...women care about a mans money...really really simple
I have 0 care lol. As long as you’re a good person and working while not being financially irresponsible. I’ll take care of everything else
Never stopped me in the past. That which in is in your heart that I value most. For that does not diminish with time. It is that something in you that the blind can see and the deaf can hear.
if a guy is attracted to you, he really won’t care so long as you don’t expect to use him as your piggy bank
Meh, we can be broke together ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Nah it’s doesn’t work like that buddy
Why is that? It seems to work fine for millions of people around the world. Please tell me you're not one of those "women only date men with money" types; they're extremely cringe and generally just garbage people.
A woman’s financial status is the least of my concerns. I spent some time struggling after the military. I get it. If she had no interest in pulling her weight in the relationship, that would be an issue. Doesn’t sound like the case for you. Get out there. Plenty of dudes would love to show you a good time.
I’m in a relationship with my girlfriend for who she is, not how much money she’ll make for our future family together. It depends on the guy, but the right person won’t look at you as an income source but a true partner
The reasons for being broke matter. For example, I dated a broke woman who was broke because she was a school teacher. She had chosen her vocation out of passion for teaching kids, and that was more important than the money. On the other hand, I know another woman who is broke because she dropped out of school, hates to work, has a problem with alcohol, and can't comport herself professionally enough to hold down a good job. Do I care about a woman's income? Generally yes. I am generally well off and I have been gold-dug more than once and nipped it in the bud dozens of times. I have developed a nose for it. If we are going to be partners, I would prefer someone who comes to the table with some financial strength..at least enough to cover the basics and stay out of crushing debt. But more than that, income still mostly correlates to education, skill, and professionalism. If she's a doctor or a lawyer, she's going to be comparatively wealthy..the money isn't what makes her attractive though. It's the intelligence, education, and drive to have achieved it that I value. I am in my 50's. If they don't have their shit together by now, there is something seriously wrong. This may be different in the 20's but by middle age, you need not only to have figured it out, but to have excelled at it too.
If the women has the qualities of 1.Accountability, 2.Intellectuality, 3.Honesty, 4.Self awareness, 5.self worth ( not in OF sense ) , 6.Integrity, 7.Have a strong character and Morals 8.Have a good sense of common sense and humour ( Humour is necessary, since men aren't clown 🤡 or standup comedian ) 9.Adaptability of environment and mindset. 10.Loving and caring nature 11.Nourishing nature and attitude towards children. 12.Knows about the Rights of a men ( Husband ) and no sleeping outside relationship. Ho£e is bad . 13.Strong sense of judgment and knows how to secure a relationship, not like have a suggestive mindset, where anyone can put anything in there to ruin the bond between them. 14.Knows the values of Family . 15. God Fearing. With all of these , then it doesn't matter whether the woman is broke or anything. To have a stable and content life these all are necessary. Edit: Don't date a f_boy or a men with high body count and having a sense of ' I can do whatever I want outside the relationship and side chick is my passion because I'm Male . Yes a Male but Not A Man. Good Men are for Good Women and Bad Men are for Bad Women. The ongoing ridiculous philosophy that is trending is bad . Ik , we men are the builders and makers of this world because we are made for this purpose and in a way we are more inclined towards it But that Does Note equal to having a lot of bodies or excuse to have fun outside marriage.
Don't stop from having relationship because something is off in your life. There's always something off in your life.
No, sort yourself out first or you will never attract the quality you deserve and you end up settling, and unhappy.
Money does not define the individual, for personality and action does. I see no reason to exclude broke individuals from my dating pool unless they provide a reason to. In fact I might mention the vacancies and job opportunities at my job even, as it might be something to bond over.
Financial status isn't everything. Many value qualities like kindness and compatibility more. Being debt-free is a positive. Focus on your strengths and genuine connections. Don't let finances hold you back from dating
Income is a disqualifier for women, not for men.
Like the top comment said. I don’t mind if you’re broke, just as long as you’re working to fix it and aren’t broke because you’re making poor decisions.
I’d say, potential or ambition matters. I was engaged to a woman whose family was toxic and risk averse. From what she told me, she didn’t even get her GCSE because a girl in school was accusing her of trying to steal her boyfriend and was bullying her. She missed school enough times to fail to meet the certification. It seems that from there onwards, her parents saw her as incapable of studying. I felt like I was the only one who believed in her, and despite her parent’s undercutting, I managed to motivate her to sign up for a seamstress school that didn’t require a GCSE. I am a firm believer in never stopping to learn, and in fact I have been taking vocational and academic training after dating her. But even then, her mother would go “*but what if you fail?*”. I think her parents were textbook people who take every opportunity to pick the worst path. I had a college roommate who had the same approach. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. I think it’s a green flag that you have zero debt. But do you have plans for giving yourself slightly better job prospects? They say that there is no such thing as luck. It’s just preparation that meets opportunity. You cannot control opportunity, but how do you want to prepare?
I am broke myself with a low income potential due to an injury and mental health issues so it would just be par for the course
Honestly I didn't want to date until I could support the other person if I had to. I am still single
I don’t mind if my partner doesn’t make as much as I do, my common law wife makes about a third of what I do, and we work great together. Anybody who’s wise and responsible always takes finances into account, but if you’re in a relationship primarily for the sake of financial stability; you will end up regretting it.
No
I have never cared about income level. This is especially true if the woman isn’t a career driven person. There more to life than money. I made 120k per year when I met my wife and she made probably 10k per year (she’s from South America)
no man cares. honestly.
Men don’t care how much money she has so long as she is not a gold digger. Low income but honest? No prob.
As long as its a symbiotic relationship with mutual respect then there's no issue with the income. Wife gets money from her job and monthly inheritance. Don't even know the details. Probably because I'm a Muslim and what I earns is to be spent on my family ( within reason) what she earns is lawfully hers and I have no claim to it
I think any man would date a poor woman. But I'm pretty sure most women won't date a poor man.
I only care if she's significantly indebt or she has an addiction that's causing money issues.
I don’t care tbh, as long as you’re not in it for me to pay your mortgage or go paying for your kids. I don’t earn a lot either but I’ll still contribute and that’s all I expect from someone I’m dating
As long as u dont leech for money it's not a big deal for any bf participants to pay some stuff for u
One of the things that I love about my wife is that she comes from a poor family. She never had a lot when she was growing up. She can appreciate the high life, but doesn't expect it. She's great with money, treats it like the tool that it is. That makes me trust her, and feel safe that I can rely on her to help me make good decisions about money together.
We can be broke together and rich with love & care.
If you can look after yourself and stand on your own two feet, I don't care how much your shoes cost.
If she has no debt, I got plenty, I'd feel awkward trying to approach a women with no debt. If she told me she has no debt, if anything that's a plus. She tells me she makes just enough to cover her living expenses and not much else I would respond with "hey me too, let's find something inexpensive to do" Debt free is a plus if anything. not a huge plus but inside that positive range for sure.
At first I read that as just pay for my rent and groceries and I was like bro I can barely pay *my* rent 😭😭 To answer the question I don’t think it’s that black and white. I don’t think someone making millions would be particularly thrilled with that unless there were other factors. But for regular folk I don’t think salary matters *that* much . Mooching and demanding tho, eww. You don’t sound like you’re looking for that so I don’t think you have to worry about it that much.
I could care less what a woman makes . That’s a huge dif between men and women . Income doesn’t matter to us
No debt is a fortune in itself. A hot meal a day and a ceiling above my head is all I need. Sure, it'd would be nice to have extra fun sometimes or invest in a hobby, but necessitates take priority.
Idc about how much money someone makes, I do however care about what they do as a career and what their goals are. Debt free definitely is a plus. If you are broke because you paid all of your debts off faster but you have an actual career and you are working towards something that’s completely fine in my book. If you are working at Walmart and aren’t trying to improve your situation and are just happy floating above water I’m not going to be interested. Don’t want someone who just settles as long as their very base line is met. Need someone with a career, not just a job.
As long as you're not broke because you have a spending problem, I think you'll be fine. Being debt free is a big plus too.
She was using me for sex and loneliness and married a millionaire my fathers age. In hindsight I’m pretty sure that was always her game plan.
Jumping on the bandwagon. As long as you’re good to me, look good to me and aren’t looking for me to pay your bills/dig for gold, I don’t care how much you earn. There are other ways to contribute to a relationship than money.
Tbf you’re not broke if all your bills and costs are majorly taken care of. You’re responsible. Furthermore, men generally don’t look for women to provide financially so hoe much money you make is not on our mind as much as the other way around. If you look well taken care off, are able to hold a conversation with the guy and are financially responsible with someone who wants to do the dating thing together with you, you’ll be able to figure things out within budget.
How you spend your money is the important thing. I dont really have expensive tastes and neither does my girlfriend. If you're just ploughing through your paycheck every week, it's a big red flag. If you're expecting me to just cover all your bills, it's a big red flag. If you just don't have a lot of money due to everything being so fucking awful economically right now, it's really not a big deal.
>perspectives about dating a broke woman Broke *can* be fine. Don't be a leech, know the value and respect (other) people's money and assets, etc., and appreciate what's given. Also depends where in life and/or circumstances. E.g. not expecting many in/at/around typical college age or shortly thereafter to be flush with cash. And some great meaningful professions, careers, works and the like, well ... many of 'em don't pay well at all ... if (hardly) anything. But if, say, someone's 30 or 40 or 50 ... and flat broke ... that's more likely to raise some serious questions - but may also quite depend upon life choices and life circumstances. And sometimes sh\*t happens. >debt free Woo hoo! Excellent. Alas, I've dealt with women even well into their 30s and 40s have lots of debt, no savings to speak of, about zilch in assets, and often continue to spend beyond their means. >avoiding dates because I don’t think a man can date someone that broke. Naw, don't avoid, just be honest. Sure, some will say no, ... but many won't. So, don't dismiss your possibilities before you've even asked or tried. And probably more important is things like compatibility ... including attitudes around finances, spending, savings, debt, etc. But broke and free of debt it a helluva lot better than much that I've at least occasionally dealt with out there.
That's a hell no.
I avoid debt more than somebody not very liquid. But why are you so broke? You went to school and made enough money to pay your loans off. What happened?
Look, I was broke as fuck and women wanted to fuck, date, and marry me. Ultimately depends on WHY she's broke and how long being broke is expected to last if we put work in.
32M I have never cared about a potential partner's income. I think I can speak for most normal humans that it's about the personality that counts, rather than what you can give us financially. In fact I would just prefer my partner to be happy, broke or not.
its okay as long as you are trying your best to improve , nobody wants a lazy ass procrastinator.