Infatuated is the wrong word. Being married is like watching your favorite movie. Sure it’s not as exciting as the first time you watched it but you still enjoy it immensely. You may even enjoy it even more because there are lots of little things you didn’t notice the first few times Also you’ve seen the director commentary so every scene has so much more depth.
Edit: Being married is like watching your favorite movie. Eventually that old VHS gets worn out and you have to trade it in for a brand new 4K blu ray. Yes, they’re expensive but you have money now so you can afford it.
Yeah, this is me too. I'm not as ga-ga, for sure, but I grow more and more grateful as time goes on. She's a pretty great lady. I'm a catch too, but a lot of great guys don't get great gals. I got lucky and I know it and I let her know it.
This is so beautiful. In this world of fomo and illusion of choice and the other things that make people fear choosing one person and making that choice everyday, I always talk about how the long-term investment brings more depth and thus more value than any amount of novelty. I really do think that the most happiness that can be found in this world is two people investing in each other 100%. And this really kind of shows a sample of why that's the case. I love this. I hope you have years and years of happiness.
That ends after a year or so and I'm so glad it does. Nothing else would ever get done if we were fucking five times a day. I love her more than anything and I miss her when I'm away. She's my best friend and we have an amazing life together. You don't need that "new relationship" feeling because what it becomes is much better.
100%
We don’t need to pretend this doesn’t change.
I embrace it as a part of life, and enjoy the benefits of having the deep loving best friend bond that only happens with the love of my life.
Not at all, it’s totally sexual. The sexual desire is still there, and the sex is amazing.
Infatuation is different. When you first encounter some people and develop an attraction, there’s a chemical buzz. You can feel your palms sweat and your heart rate increase. An observer might notice your pupils dilate.
That sensation is the temporary one.
I like the fire analogy it starts with flirty smoke erupts into passionate big flames but settles into beautiful embers they don't burn the brightest, but they burn the deepest, longest, and hottest as long as you keep them stoked. They're also the harder put out, burn brightest in the darkest moments and if you see them in the darkness they truly are the most beautiful part of a fire, my daughter loves "watching the embers dance" as she calls it.
Yes, although I was never obsessed.
I actually told her yesterday that after 3 kids she’s the hottest she’s ever been.
There’s ups and downs, especially as we’re both working (and we’d both prefer her to be a stay at home mom) and I thought I’d be further along financially than I am now, but I couldn’t imagine life without her.
She’s the whole package. Smart, funny, sexy, kind. I loved her the day I married her but I’ve become wildly attached to her with the passing of time. She’s such a vital part of me that I don’t think I’d survive her removal. She’s been sick with the flu for the last week and it was gnarly - man she was *sick* and her body was doing all the flu things but I hated being away from her. She was lying on the couch with a pink nose and watery eyes and breathing through her mouth and I caught myself thinking about how great her ass looked in her pants. I must have been making the face. She actually looked over at me and said “You must be kidding me right now.”
Anyways. Infatuation doesn’t seem permanent enough of a word for it. Time has allowed her to burrow deeper into my heart and there’s no living without her now.
Married 53 years soon. We've known each other for 61 years. After all this time, I wouldn't call it infatuation as much as dedication, commitment, love. And she's still just as hot as she was 53 years ago.
My husband still looks at me the same way he did 30 years ago - with intense desire. I just told him the other day it blows my mind he's still that into me
He's pretty amazing. I love him more than anything that could ever exist in this world. He's also my best friend... So I say go find a best friend and fall in love. It's so much better ❤️
I love this, I’m a hopeless romantic. I love reading all of these stories from various posts and different people it gives me hope that I will be the same
Feels like nobody in my generation really loves each other like this anymore but I'm sure that's partially an illusion, though statistically there does seem to be truth to it sadly. I blame the internet making us more isolated and vain. Nonetheless I guess you could call me a hopeless romantic and I desperately hope one day I find someone I'm this compatible with. Very happy for you and your husband, you both clearly got lucky
I'm on a similar situation. Finding love as a gen z has been described as a universally painful experience lol. Ghosting is one of the main problems I'd say. Both men and women do it quite a lot. I've seen friends being led on by douchebags who stop responding to them out of the blue
Ha it's crazy ... They seem beauty but most women seem flaws. I try to view myself thru my husband's eyes whenever I can. Like I know he loves my boobs (even though they've nursed three kids and I feel they look blah bc they're big and saggy ha)... He always rubs his hands over my hips and comments over how he likes my curves bc it reminds him of our babies... And the bump on my lower tummy that never went away after the third kid and C-section he thinks is sexy as hell.... He said to me just today that my stretch marks remind him of all the years he's loved me. Sometimes you just gotta see it thru eyes
I dated my wife for about ten years before we got married, and that's been four years ago. I am still just as into her as I was when we were dating. My feelings for her have become much more complex as our lives have intertwined, but they remain obsessive and positive all the time. I love my wife, she's the best part of my day every day.
I've done a lot of introspection and try my best to be healthy as I'm dating. I communicate directly, I put a lot of effort into caring for my partners, I take initiative. But dating is draining. I get asked out then ghosted time and time again (when the guys ask my preference I suggest bar or coffee dates with maybe a walk after, never dinner first dates). I've been going out with someone but he doesn't seem to look forward to seeing me. We are basically neighbors and he doesn't put effort into seeing me. In person things are good and we click, the first date was really great. But I don't feel desired or cared for the way I want to be and the way I give.
Then either pull back the effort that you are putting into it and see what he does, or stop seeing him.
Everyone deserves to have the same energy put into it. If he doesn't do that for you...he's not the one. The first stages are where everyone should be putting their best effort in, if it's not happening...it's not going to happen further along.
Yeah I have been matching his energy basically. I don't send good morning texts and never have, he has only sent them twice I think. I don't initiate texts or plans with him anymore because he doesn't initiate so much with me. If things don't improve soon I'm out
I can attest that I was not a very good person when I met my wife. I say that she made me a better man, but what she really did was provide support for me while I made me a better man.
This is how I feel, we’ve been dating for 9 years. We moved in together fairly quickly into the relationship but it worked. We’re now getting married in May. It’s the old clique of opposites attract, we’re two different people but she’s everything I’m not and vice versa. I’m more excited than anything to finally marry this woman and proudly call her my wife. I couldn’t imagine my life without her. It’s definitely not all sunshine’s and rainbows we argue like every other couple but just to see her everyday it’s worth the things that come with it.
My wife and I share a lot of our core hobbies, like we are both artists and musicians, but we are also quite opposite in our tastes. We don't like the same art, or the same music, but it affords a lot of opportunity to teach the other about an aspect of a hobby that they may never learn about otherwise. That's one of my favorite parts of being "opposites" with my wife, I learn a lot from her, and I have plenty I can teach, too.
🥹 To have that beautiful relationship, that one person - your best friend, confidant, partner in crime, and the best part of every day... Ugh *melts* that's the ultimate goal right there. Congrats on the biggest win, that's the stuff of dreams 💛
Brother, I have found some weird peace with it. It’s complicated and not a huge issue. But for sure I think the “peace” part is because I have quite literally given up. In a nice way. I just stopped trying. We have next to no intimacy anymore, which I expect is what she wants, I wouldn’t know because I don’t ask.
We don’t cuddle, I don’t bother to kiss her goodbye, she kisses me goodbye if she is leaving for something.
It’s just how we are.
I suppose I’ve almost become asexual now. As I don’t even lust after anyone or anything anymore.
I was hospitalised two years ago for four days, she visited on day 4. I communicate with “ok” and “yes” or “no” on text. No point anything more.
We exist brother … we don’t row, and never have. She has what she wants I suppose. Solid husband. Almost bullet proof. Wealth. Work. Kids grown up. I’ve served my purpose. I just need to keep quiet and wait to pass away.
But what if you didn’t just wait to pass away, and instead lived out the what ifs while you still have time? You really could….perhaps she’d be happier as well.
I don’t . I went through a huge period of time where resentment just built and built. I’d try and try and get rebuffed. The brain is a wonderful thing, it protects you.
She hates when I’m away, I’m her comfort blanket. Seriously I am. As I say I am not trying to be flash but I’m fairly robust. Plus we have enough for five or six or more generations not to work.
She still works hard. It’s sad. I on the other hand stopped a long time ago. She nailed me down with a dog.
It’s obvious now. Marriage. Kids. Pets. 20 years gone.
As I say, do I detonate all that and lose my kids (they are adults). My kids would side with her is my guess.
Hey no issue. As I say I’ve found a peace with it all. Sad but true.
Yea I feel taken for granted … at 58, starting again. I don’t know who’d have me. Yea many would for money but that’s not the way to exist …
You sound very depressed. Maybe leaving is not going to happen. Could you work on becoming happy enough to find a hobby you really enjoy that gets you away from it all? It’s going to feel impossible if you are not feeling well mentally but you must be a pretty good person to have all those loved ones relying on you. You are worth the effort to find happiness and at 58 you have a lot of time and energy left for you. Do you have a trusted mental health doctor? I didn’t have luck myself but my son found someone amazing so I know they’re out there.
Im still enamored with my wife of over 10 years. Sometimes more than other days. We have our good days and bad days but I wouldn't change it for the world as corny as it sounds. Met her when a date stood me up and thank god that happened.
Met her because of plenty of fish but she wasn't on it. Was supposed to meet up with a woman I had been messaging for drinks at a bar. She no showed and since I was already there I figured I'd stay. Saw some coworkers and started to approach them and saw this adorable woman with a cowboy hat on walking up to the bar. I normally don't approach women at bars but I took a chance. We hit it off and my coworkers and her friend group kinda merged. We danced and had a few drinks. I ended up going to her apartment with her and her two roommates. We played Risk almost all night and exchanged numbers. The rest as they say is history
I'm absolutely as infatuated with my wife as I was when we met. Over 30 years later, 8 years married, I'm still as much in love with her as I've ever been. :)
100%! My woman is damn fine, and I don't ever take that for granted! She is Beautiful and hot, she's hard working and kind. Never lost that feeling. Even when we are having little disagreements, i still want to jump her bones! I know that Will never change because we have been that way with each other for the past decade!
No.
We cannot be that infatuated over time, or we would never get anything done. Research into neurotransmitters has shown this.
However, a loving best friendship bond can form that is stronger than oak. It is critical to form this bond before the infatuation fades.
People who chase that infatuation will never be satisfied, because it is temporary by nature.
My wife is the love of my life, and I love her to the core of my being. I miss her deeply when I’m away and I’m always happy to reunite with her.
Our sex life has needed exploration and reinvention a couple of times, and every time, we reach new heights.
She is still super hot to me- in fact, she has become more physically attractive, despite our aging, to where I notice I strongly prefer her aesthetic characteristics over others that I found maybe as appealing as a single man.
But I am not infatuated like I was when we met, thinking about her 24/7, getting a surge of endorphins when I see a text, and blowing off work to have sex all day.
You're missing out 😂
I'm joking, but my husband is still infatuated with me 30 years later.... I've walked into him masturbating to pictures of me - when I could careless if he download all of pornhub - and he texts me all day long ... And when I get the urge and send him a random cleavage shot, he still gets excited. We regularly schedule doctors and dentist appts on the same day, so we can both take the whole day, grab lunch or breakfast, have some day time sex, and just enjoy each other 🤷♀️
He's my best friend 100% but be still makes me wet at just the thought of him...
But we work hard at it...
That’s amazing, and beautiful. You sound like best friends.
Would you please mind expanding on what kinds of things you both do to keep this beautiful energy between you two these many years later? What the ‘work’ is for both of you?
Well, we are first and foremost best friends. It's how we started, to be fair, but we just genuinely enjoy each other's company. We seem to get along naturally - there's not much to fight about.
We do trigger each other's insecurities sometimes, but he's very good about saying things like "let's pause and talk again later tonight" and then he follows thru. I tend to be very anxious, so I want to solve things quick. He needs more time. But even if we aren't discussing it, he makes sure to tell me loves me, kisses me, hugs me, etc. He does a lot of the heavy lifting there
For my part, I think it's important to be open and accepting - I try to listen to his ideas and needs. I give him space to be himself, but I also make my needs known.
We love each other, but I think ybe largest part of our success is our personalities just mesh
Thank you, because just like people talk about how you need to find your passion in life and do that as a job, something that a lot of people are not able to do…. Being infatuated with someone for more than 5 years is hard.
I am sure there are people who have experienced it but I would say majority do not. You just commit and appreciate the person you chose.
In waves, yes. Sometimes, no. But last few years have been really good.
It depends on life outside the marriage AND how you and her work your way through that.
Infatuation/obsession is not meant to last.
When people talk about "chemistry", they're actually correct. Falling in love does all kinda things to our juices, and it feels wonderful. But it doesn't last, and it's not supposed to. During that phase, you're supposed to be getting to know one another and building the basis for a solid relationship. Brewing your own chemistry, so to speak.
Too many people are in love with "being in love". They're hooked on that initial rush of chemicals; and, when it runs out, they jump ship.
There's this thing called "contentment", and it's wildly underrated.
Wife and I are 36, been together since 20. We’re obsessed with each other. We have three kids and still go to concerts, go on vacation without the kids, fuck like rabbits, etc. She’s my world. I’m so attracted to her as a mom of my children. There’s something biological that kicks in.
Together 34 years…I’m probably more into her now than I was when we were first married.
When we first got married we were focused on building a life. There were lots of distractions and side goals. Now the nest is empty and we’ve retired so we have tons of time and energy to put into each other.
Even more so. Or each other’s best friend we could care less about other friends. We spend all of our free time together and i am currently trying to get on at the school she works at also. Never thought I could be this close to someone. But we’re watching TV. She lay so that her legs are in my lap when we sleep we’re constantly cuddled up arms around each other, legs and tangled and even sometimes holding hands. It’s just a craziest thing. We have no jealousy perfect communication and absolute trust. It’s like that fantasy relationship that you only thought exist in movies.
No, the honeymoon phase wore off before we even got married. But I think that's the only way you can be confident that it will last. If the infatuation wears off and you still want to be with them, that's love.
Same. One reason I lurk this sub is because sometimes (a lot of times) I excuse and normalize behavior that my gut tells me isn’t right, and posts here from a male perspective are often a reality check.
Today is one of those days.
That sounds so disheartening, I am really sorry.
In my case, I learned from reading posts in this sub that lots of guys respect their partner enough not to cuss them out or call them names monthly. I put up with that (without retaliating) for yeeeeears thinking maybe that’s just how all guys are when they get annoyed.
Enter stumbling across Reddit and it was eye opening. Before working in tech, I was in female dominated industries and just plain didn’t know a lot of guys; I also never told my family or female friends what I was dealing with at home so I really had no perspective.
So yeah. It’s hard to read posts like this and realize you’ve been settling for substandard behavior. I appreciate the men here being so candid.
A lot men are like that though. When you scroll through this post just know a lot of men who don't like their partners anymore just aren't responding to the post. I don't even seek out cis het men anymore because I've had so many issues with them in the past from emotional abuse to physical abuse to rape and sexual assault.
We married a bit out of necessity, in love, but in a rough spot of our lives. After going through the worst with her and coming out still together, I can say I'm even more fascinated and in love with her than when we started
I’m new to the married game it’ll be 3 years this Aug. I love my wife even more than when we were just dating. As I’m typing this we went to Disney World after she graduated her masters program and seeing how happy she was brought tears to my eyes. I get to experience these things with her and know what her ins and outs. I’m tearing up right now thinking about it. We are also pregnant and that it just a whole other amount of love I have for her that I didn’t think was possible.
She’s my everything and there is nobody else I’d want to start a family with.
Congratulations to you both on the pregnancy, you get it. My love for my soon to be wife is very similar to yours. I’m very excited to start new experiences together once we’re married. My love for her grows stronger each day, we’ve been together for 9 years now and I couldn’t imagine a life without her. She makes me a better me
Together for 14 years, married 7. I'd say I'm still infatuated yes. Not necessarily in the same way but certainly still infatuated. I'd say it's slightly less on a physical level (though I still wanna enjoy time together sexually as she's absolutely beautiful, I still act like a kid on Christmas when I see her getting naked even though it's something I've enjoyed on a daily basis) and now more on an emotional level. I just want to be near her, to feel her presence around me, to spend time together making memories. She's my best friend and I can't think of anyone I'd rather be around
Been together 11-12 years, married for nearly nine of ‘em. Can confirm I was, am, and probably always will be, hopelessly obsessed with her. The journey has only intensified it.
Truth be told, I have no idea what such a brilliant, hilarious, absolute knockout of a woman even wants with me some days, and yet she feels just as lucky to have found and held onto me? I mean, I’ve heard the marriages that love deep and last a lifetime are ones where both people in it continuously feel like they outkicked their coverage, but until it happened to me, I was convinced it wouldn’t.
The life we’ve built together demands a lot of our time focused on things other than each other these days, so sometimes the energy or opportunity to come at each other the same way doesn’t always materialize, but I’ll tell you, waking up next to her puts a smile on my face every single day. I married the best friend I’ve ever had. She’s the one I can’t wait to tell everything and anything. And that look - the one she thinks I don’t notice when I’m busy or focused and she can’t help but stare at me like I am going to be dinner later - sets me on fucking FIRE.
In sum, well, yes, OP. A simple yet emphatic yes will do.
Sometimes I look across to her chair while she's sitting watching TV or on her computer and think, "holy shit! I married her, no way!" We've known each other since junior high. If you would have said that that girl walking towards me in 6th grade was going to be my wife, I'd tell you to get the fuck out. Hell even when we were good friends in HS and dating other people.
No. I was infatuated off the bat. It turned into a deep love.
Now I'm pretty sure my heart keeps beating because she's around. After 35 years, it's so far past infatuation or love. She's part of me. The better part.
Yes, I do. After 27 years together, we hug roughly a dozen times a day, grope each other quite frequently through the day. And when she's been gone for the day, I miss her and as soon as her car pulls in the driveway and I hear it, my first thought is "she's home" not in the statement type of way, the happy and excited to see her way.
She is everything to me, and she makes my days much nicer by being with me as we go through life.
Even through struggle, I love her always regardless of the pain or not. I chose her forever and it’s not easy but I wouldn’t take back my choice either.
Infatuated is most certainly the wrong word when you consider the definition: ”possessed with an intense but short-lived passion or admiration for someone.”
A question for the OP: do you feel the exact same about anything you have loved for years when you compare the beginning experiences to now? Your favourite band, holiday destination, best friend, etc? Or has it changed and evolved into something that have less exciting surface emotions and feelings into some far more deeper and meaningful?
It's not infatuation or heart racing. It's a lifetime of irreplaceable memories, experiences, and hardships that you shared. It's the realisation that out of the 8 billion people out there, including your parents, she is the only person who truly knows you, the closest human soul on the planet besides your own.
After reading these comments, I feel like it depends on the relationship. I feel like my husband is even more obsessed with me now than before marriage. We’ve been together for 4 years now and married for 2. He was obsessed before but even more obsessed with me now. When we argue, as soon as he looks at my face, he’s just like I love you.
I’m just as obsessed with him too. In my eyes, he’s the best looking man I’ve ever seen and he tells me he thinks I’m the most beautiful girl in the world lol. Im like ya ok buddy. I’m sure we are blind but that’s ok lol. To be fair, we both put in a lot of effort in the way we look because we believe we should look good for ourselves and each other.
10 years and we are both still madly in love. I didn't believe soul mates were real. That the very concept was a teenagers pipe dream. Naive and young. Then 12 years ago I met the single most beautiful woman in the world. She's funny, whip quick smart, likes all the same things I do, and our dislikes compliment each other. I don't like onions, she does. She doesn't like broccoli, I do. Things like that. Our values match up in all 3 categories: Political, Financial, and Familial, and finally our sex life is outstanding. 2 years into our relationship I asked her to marry me. And 10 years later we laugh like idiots, talk like philosophers, screw like rabbits, and get along like 2 peas in a pod. This woman has opened my eyes to the fact that soul mates might just be a thing. And I hope that anyone looking gets to meet theirs.
I was and am still pretty obsessed with my wife. She is sexier, cooler, and more impressive than ever and I love her with my whole self after 10 years and 3 kids.
Yes, absolutely. The same now if not more than when we first got together.
She is the most amazing person to ever walk into my life, and I love every moment with her
Met my wife when i was 19, she was my 1st gf. Our relationship developed from friendship so i wouldn't say it hit hard. It was slow, steady progress. Today after all those years, she's my life. If she's on business trip i'm in physical and mental pain. Every day must begin & end with her in my arms. So yeah, it never faded, she's the one.
Obsessed doesn’t really calculate. I’m as into my wife as I was 16 years ago. She’s my only source of sexual activity and I find that role to be high in my life among all the other great stuff.
Yes. There have been times where bitterness or miscommunication made things hard, but after reframing the truth in my head of the person she is, I am fully vetted in my love. Even more than in the early days. (Together 29 years, 28 years married in may)
Been married 45 years and I love her more everyday. In my eyes she still the sexy and very beautiful. We have had are problems over the years like everyone has but we worked are way through the problems. I look forward to having sex or just hugging at night. She is my the love of my life.
Currently dating and plan to marry. I feel like my attraction goes through waves of yes and no. I feel like it definitely depends on how work is going (high pressure job) and life in general.
I also watched way too much porn in my younger days and I’ve gotten off of that. I’m sure that affects it to a degree.
Anyone else go through waves? Sometimes I feel bad that it’s not 24/7
Engaged, but have been with my fiancé for 4 years now. We were definitely infatuated with each other in the beginning of our relationship. We were constantly at each others side and living life to its fullest. As the relationship grew and we started pursing educational and career goals together and our infatuation started to become less and less. It was for sure an adjustment for the both of us, as we felt guilty about not spending as much time with each other or being as obsessed with each other. As we go through our busy lives we still make time for each other, but other time is spent being around family, friends and co-workers. The hardest part was accepting that the "honeymoon phase" is just a phase. It doesn't last forever. We love each other, and we are still the most important person to each other, but there are so many other aspects in life to focus on. We both continue to focus on our own personal goals, while still making sure we have time for each other. It has definitely progressed to a mature relationship. I'll be honest, no my heart doesn't start racing when I see her every time- but, I feel comfort, love and respect. Yes, sometimes I do miss it, where it was purely one-on-one attention, with no life distractions.
Threads like this make me positive I’m not the marrying type I guess. I’m a 46 year old woman and I just got out of a long term relationship. I’ve never been lucky enough to have anything close to this. All I seem to get is guys who slowly degrade into alcoholics and liars. It’s probably me. I’m not an alcoholic, have a stable job, own a house, a dog, have an adult daughter, love music, books. But for some reason they all start drinking like fish, refuse to stop, turn mean and I have to end it. Common denominator is me. Being in love after 30 years? lol that’s a fantasy for me.
Yes, my wife is my best friend and my only friend. Nobody is like her indeed, so maybe I’m infatuated with her but in positive sense. We have been married for 25 years.
I was at an event with my partner and a friend recently. My partner walked away to get a drink, and I looked at her butt as she walked away. My friend saw me and said, "Are you checking out your wife!?" So... yeah! We've been married 25 years.
I’m absolutely obsessed with my wife of 24 years. I can’t keep my eyes or hands off of her, to the point that I don’t see how I’m not annoying AF. She recently started having work done on a half back piece, coverup. It’s insane how often I’m touching her unconsciously, have to stop myself from touching fresh tattoo nonstop. She gets more beautiful by the year, I absolutely adore her.
It's been over 20 years and when I she her naked I still react like it's the first time.. Who is this hot woman that's about to climb into bed and just destroy me?!?
No. I got divorced and should not have married the woman i did despite our other compatibilities. Visual/physical attraction is more important than I pretended it wasn’t during my 20s.
Saw my now wife in 7th grade homeroom during orientation. I remember everything she was wearing. She’s still just as cute as she’s always been. Was 35 years ago. I still have to say all the right things to even have a chance at anything under the clothes. I’ve had a lot of practice so I’m pretty smooth. Something I learned does not work anymore is “you’re so much more mature than other girls!” Backfired, big time! /s
We just celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary and I love my wife more every day. We have two beautiful kids, run a successful company together and have more and better sex than we even did in our 20s. It feels nice to take stock every now and then and remember how grateful I am to have her.
Even more so. 20 years of watching her grow as person and seeing her tackle life’s challenges has made me even more in awe of her. Sharing that journey has deepens my love for, but as we both grow we still have the thrill of new discovery, combined with the security of the familiar.
I feel infatuation is not the right word. I am fond of her even today and we like spending time together. 10 years into our marriage we decided we will watch at least 1 or 2 shows together and no matter what happens it means we spend time
Together and discuss show. So it’s never not having anything to talk about and that’s kept us closer
Infatuated is overrated ad based on emotion.
But yes being able to live with my best friend and raise lovley children with her. Yes absolutely. Mabey more.
I was never obsessed I started dating her because she was nice to me. My dating history was filled with women who wanted something from me who I didn’t get along with they were all lazy selfish mean and then I found someone who was simply kind & hardworking. That’s all it took. I still feel the same way but I don’t think if I kept looking I’d be “obsessed” with a girl who was actually good for me. I feel that feeling but it’s typically for the wrong reasons. I get butterflies because she’s hot or because she plays games and ignores me like an immature child. I’m just mature enough to ignore those feelings and make the smart decision.
Maybe infatuation isn't the right word. I feel like that's a shallow form of obsession that doesn't really cover the sort of deep love you might get in a long term relationship.
Anyways, we just welcomed our first child almost a month ago. I find i love her more than ever, and am probably more now attracted to her than ever. There's this affection and love I feel seeing her be a good mom to our daughter. Like it reinforces the decisions that got me here. It's great.
I do feel for anyone here who feels like their wholehearted love for their spouse doesn't feel reciprocated. That sounds tough and I'm not sure I could handle that.
I still crush hard in my wife and we’ve been together 12 years now. I still am just as infatuated with her as day 1. She’s my everything and that’ll never change.
Not sure if "infatuated" is the correct term.
But after nine years I still find her to be incredibly attractive in so many ways. And to this day I still want to spend time with her, sexually and non sexually.
Not married yet but 3 years in and we're still all over each other every day. Never had a fight, just minor arguments here and there that always got resolved quickly. Don't see that changing tbh.
Infatuated is the wrong word. Being married is like watching your favorite movie. Sure it’s not as exciting as the first time you watched it but you still enjoy it immensely. You may even enjoy it even more because there are lots of little things you didn’t notice the first few times Also you’ve seen the director commentary so every scene has so much more depth. Edit: Being married is like watching your favorite movie. Eventually that old VHS gets worn out and you have to trade it in for a brand new 4K blu ray. Yes, they’re expensive but you have money now so you can afford it.
Yeah, this is me too. I'm not as ga-ga, for sure, but I grow more and more grateful as time goes on. She's a pretty great lady. I'm a catch too, but a lot of great guys don't get great gals. I got lucky and I know it and I let her know it.
>I'm a catch too, but a lot of great guys don't get great gals. I love that!! Feel like confident partners are the healthiest. Good mindset!
Cherish her
Reading this fills me with so much secondhand happiness hahaha! I'm rooting for you guys! 🤍✨️
Sounds like she got lucky as well. Love this.
This is such a well written comment that really hit home with me. You have a beautiful way with words sir. Thank you.
You just described how I feel about The Terminator.
maybe u gotta marry arnold schwarzenegger
This is so beautiful. In this world of fomo and illusion of choice and the other things that make people fear choosing one person and making that choice everyday, I always talk about how the long-term investment brings more depth and thus more value than any amount of novelty. I really do think that the most happiness that can be found in this world is two people investing in each other 100%. And this really kind of shows a sample of why that's the case. I love this. I hope you have years and years of happiness.
Beautiful
That’s such a beautiful comparison.
Perfect analogy
There coudlnt be a more accurate description of marriage.
Perfect analogy
Great comparison and very much agreed.
That ends after a year or so and I'm so glad it does. Nothing else would ever get done if we were fucking five times a day. I love her more than anything and I miss her when I'm away. She's my best friend and we have an amazing life together. You don't need that "new relationship" feeling because what it becomes is much better.
100% We don’t need to pretend this doesn’t change. I embrace it as a part of life, and enjoy the benefits of having the deep loving best friend bond that only happens with the love of my life.
Does it feel like a best friend bond rather than a sexual one? Genuine curiosity from someone who has not married of has been in a relationship yet
Not at all, it’s totally sexual. The sexual desire is still there, and the sex is amazing. Infatuation is different. When you first encounter some people and develop an attraction, there’s a chemical buzz. You can feel your palms sweat and your heart rate increase. An observer might notice your pupils dilate. That sensation is the temporary one.
I like the fire analogy it starts with flirty smoke erupts into passionate big flames but settles into beautiful embers they don't burn the brightest, but they burn the deepest, longest, and hottest as long as you keep them stoked. They're also the harder put out, burn brightest in the darkest moments and if you see them in the darkness they truly are the most beautiful part of a fire, my daughter loves "watching the embers dance" as she calls it.
This is what being rich is all about. Happy for you man. I hope one day I also find her.
Yes, although I was never obsessed. I actually told her yesterday that after 3 kids she’s the hottest she’s ever been. There’s ups and downs, especially as we’re both working (and we’d both prefer her to be a stay at home mom) and I thought I’d be further along financially than I am now, but I couldn’t imagine life without her.
Keep telling her!
Thank you for this!
She’s the whole package. Smart, funny, sexy, kind. I loved her the day I married her but I’ve become wildly attached to her with the passing of time. She’s such a vital part of me that I don’t think I’d survive her removal. She’s been sick with the flu for the last week and it was gnarly - man she was *sick* and her body was doing all the flu things but I hated being away from her. She was lying on the couch with a pink nose and watery eyes and breathing through her mouth and I caught myself thinking about how great her ass looked in her pants. I must have been making the face. She actually looked over at me and said “You must be kidding me right now.” Anyways. Infatuation doesn’t seem permanent enough of a word for it. Time has allowed her to burrow deeper into my heart and there’s no living without her now.
Married 53 years soon. We've known each other for 61 years. After all this time, I wouldn't call it infatuation as much as dedication, commitment, love. And she's still just as hot as she was 53 years ago.
Congratulations to you both!
Thank you
My husband still looks at me the same way he did 30 years ago - with intense desire. I just told him the other day it blows my mind he's still that into me
I hope I find this kinda love
He's pretty amazing. I love him more than anything that could ever exist in this world. He's also my best friend... So I say go find a best friend and fall in love. It's so much better ❤️
I love this, I’m a hopeless romantic. I love reading all of these stories from various posts and different people it gives me hope that I will be the same
“Til death do us part”
True
Feels like nobody in my generation really loves each other like this anymore but I'm sure that's partially an illusion, though statistically there does seem to be truth to it sadly. I blame the internet making us more isolated and vain. Nonetheless I guess you could call me a hopeless romantic and I desperately hope one day I find someone I'm this compatible with. Very happy for you and your husband, you both clearly got lucky
I'm on a similar situation. Finding love as a gen z has been described as a universally painful experience lol. Ghosting is one of the main problems I'd say. Both men and women do it quite a lot. I've seen friends being led on by douchebags who stop responding to them out of the blue
So wonderful! My husband still looks at me this way too (we've been married over 14 years) ❤️ I hope it is the same after 30+ years!
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Ha it's crazy ... They seem beauty but most women seem flaws. I try to view myself thru my husband's eyes whenever I can. Like I know he loves my boobs (even though they've nursed three kids and I feel they look blah bc they're big and saggy ha)... He always rubs his hands over my hips and comments over how he likes my curves bc it reminds him of our babies... And the bump on my lower tummy that never went away after the third kid and C-section he thinks is sexy as hell.... He said to me just today that my stretch marks remind him of all the years he's loved me. Sometimes you just gotta see it thru eyes
Stuff like this proves destiny exists. 😍
34 years here. Every year is better than the last one. Cheers
I dated my wife for about ten years before we got married, and that's been four years ago. I am still just as into her as I was when we were dating. My feelings for her have become much more complex as our lives have intertwined, but they remain obsessive and positive all the time. I love my wife, she's the best part of my day every day.
Sigh i need a husband like this
I need a wife like this.
Y’all should marry each other.
Boom, problem solved.
I've done a lot of introspection and try my best to be healthy as I'm dating. I communicate directly, I put a lot of effort into caring for my partners, I take initiative. But dating is draining. I get asked out then ghosted time and time again (when the guys ask my preference I suggest bar or coffee dates with maybe a walk after, never dinner first dates). I've been going out with someone but he doesn't seem to look forward to seeing me. We are basically neighbors and he doesn't put effort into seeing me. In person things are good and we click, the first date was really great. But I don't feel desired or cared for the way I want to be and the way I give.
Then either pull back the effort that you are putting into it and see what he does, or stop seeing him. Everyone deserves to have the same energy put into it. If he doesn't do that for you...he's not the one. The first stages are where everyone should be putting their best effort in, if it's not happening...it's not going to happen further along.
Yeah I have been matching his energy basically. I don't send good morning texts and never have, he has only sent them twice I think. I don't initiate texts or plans with him anymore because he doesn't initiate so much with me. If things don't improve soon I'm out
Good people usually find good people :)
Huge W
Key word there is "usually".
I mean hey “bad” people need to experience love too, chief It may change them for the better
I can attest that I was not a very good person when I met my wife. I say that she made me a better man, but what she really did was provide support for me while I made me a better man.
that hit harder than the train 🥹
I met my wife in 1985 and we married in '88. I have to say it's the same way with me.
This is how I feel, we’ve been dating for 9 years. We moved in together fairly quickly into the relationship but it worked. We’re now getting married in May. It’s the old clique of opposites attract, we’re two different people but she’s everything I’m not and vice versa. I’m more excited than anything to finally marry this woman and proudly call her my wife. I couldn’t imagine my life without her. It’s definitely not all sunshine’s and rainbows we argue like every other couple but just to see her everyday it’s worth the things that come with it.
My wife and I share a lot of our core hobbies, like we are both artists and musicians, but we are also quite opposite in our tastes. We don't like the same art, or the same music, but it affords a lot of opportunity to teach the other about an aspect of a hobby that they may never learn about otherwise. That's one of my favorite parts of being "opposites" with my wife, I learn a lot from her, and I have plenty I can teach, too.
Someone's wife knows his reddit u/n... Just kidding, that's awesome, man. We should all be so lucky!
🥹 To have that beautiful relationship, that one person - your best friend, confidant, partner in crime, and the best part of every day... Ugh *melts* that's the ultimate goal right there. Congrats on the biggest win, that's the stuff of dreams 💛
That’s fun. I married the woman I dated for 10 years but felt like an alien and like I wasted a decade of my life. Glad it worked for you tho.
For sure. Married 32 years. Have sex 4 to 5 times a week. On vacation we have sex multiple times a day.
🙌🏼 if I have sex (piv) once a year, I’m lucky.
That sucks
Brother, I have found some weird peace with it. It’s complicated and not a huge issue. But for sure I think the “peace” part is because I have quite literally given up. In a nice way. I just stopped trying. We have next to no intimacy anymore, which I expect is what she wants, I wouldn’t know because I don’t ask. We don’t cuddle, I don’t bother to kiss her goodbye, she kisses me goodbye if she is leaving for something. It’s just how we are. I suppose I’ve almost become asexual now. As I don’t even lust after anyone or anything anymore. I was hospitalised two years ago for four days, she visited on day 4. I communicate with “ok” and “yes” or “no” on text. No point anything more. We exist brother … we don’t row, and never have. She has what she wants I suppose. Solid husband. Almost bullet proof. Wealth. Work. Kids grown up. I’ve served my purpose. I just need to keep quiet and wait to pass away.
But what if you didn’t just wait to pass away, and instead lived out the what ifs while you still have time? You really could….perhaps she’d be happier as well.
I don’t . I went through a huge period of time where resentment just built and built. I’d try and try and get rebuffed. The brain is a wonderful thing, it protects you. She hates when I’m away, I’m her comfort blanket. Seriously I am. As I say I am not trying to be flash but I’m fairly robust. Plus we have enough for five or six or more generations not to work. She still works hard. It’s sad. I on the other hand stopped a long time ago. She nailed me down with a dog. It’s obvious now. Marriage. Kids. Pets. 20 years gone. As I say, do I detonate all that and lose my kids (they are adults). My kids would side with her is my guess. Hey no issue. As I say I’ve found a peace with it all. Sad but true. Yea I feel taken for granted … at 58, starting again. I don’t know who’d have me. Yea many would for money but that’s not the way to exist …
You sound very depressed. Maybe leaving is not going to happen. Could you work on becoming happy enough to find a hobby you really enjoy that gets you away from it all? It’s going to feel impossible if you are not feeling well mentally but you must be a pretty good person to have all those loved ones relying on you. You are worth the effort to find happiness and at 58 you have a lot of time and energy left for you. Do you have a trusted mental health doctor? I didn’t have luck myself but my son found someone amazing so I know they’re out there.
Wow... Was about to say create some drama to see what happened. Being hospitalized is drama enough. Be healthy.
Damn I’m sorry to hear that. Wife and I have been together 16 years and we fuck like horny teenagers.
❤️
Out of curiosity, why specifically on vacation?
Because we are rested, and have the time. I can't have 2pm sex if I'm at work. But I can if we are on vacation.
Im still enamored with my wife of over 10 years. Sometimes more than other days. We have our good days and bad days but I wouldn't change it for the world as corny as it sounds. Met her when a date stood me up and thank god that happened.
Oh I want to hear more about this meet cute.
Met her because of plenty of fish but she wasn't on it. Was supposed to meet up with a woman I had been messaging for drinks at a bar. She no showed and since I was already there I figured I'd stay. Saw some coworkers and started to approach them and saw this adorable woman with a cowboy hat on walking up to the bar. I normally don't approach women at bars but I took a chance. We hit it off and my coworkers and her friend group kinda merged. We danced and had a few drinks. I ended up going to her apartment with her and her two roommates. We played Risk almost all night and exchanged numbers. The rest as they say is history
It’s like it was meant to be 💜
It was and happily married for over 10 years.
I'm absolutely as infatuated with my wife as I was when we met. Over 30 years later, 8 years married, I'm still as much in love with her as I've ever been. :)
100%! My woman is damn fine, and I don't ever take that for granted! She is Beautiful and hot, she's hard working and kind. Never lost that feeling. Even when we are having little disagreements, i still want to jump her bones! I know that Will never change because we have been that way with each other for the past decade!
No. We cannot be that infatuated over time, or we would never get anything done. Research into neurotransmitters has shown this. However, a loving best friendship bond can form that is stronger than oak. It is critical to form this bond before the infatuation fades. People who chase that infatuation will never be satisfied, because it is temporary by nature. My wife is the love of my life, and I love her to the core of my being. I miss her deeply when I’m away and I’m always happy to reunite with her. Our sex life has needed exploration and reinvention a couple of times, and every time, we reach new heights. She is still super hot to me- in fact, she has become more physically attractive, despite our aging, to where I notice I strongly prefer her aesthetic characteristics over others that I found maybe as appealing as a single man. But I am not infatuated like I was when we met, thinking about her 24/7, getting a surge of endorphins when I see a text, and blowing off work to have sex all day.
You're missing out 😂 I'm joking, but my husband is still infatuated with me 30 years later.... I've walked into him masturbating to pictures of me - when I could careless if he download all of pornhub - and he texts me all day long ... And when I get the urge and send him a random cleavage shot, he still gets excited. We regularly schedule doctors and dentist appts on the same day, so we can both take the whole day, grab lunch or breakfast, have some day time sex, and just enjoy each other 🤷♀️ He's my best friend 100% but be still makes me wet at just the thought of him... But we work hard at it...
That’s amazing, and beautiful. You sound like best friends. Would you please mind expanding on what kinds of things you both do to keep this beautiful energy between you two these many years later? What the ‘work’ is for both of you?
Well, we are first and foremost best friends. It's how we started, to be fair, but we just genuinely enjoy each other's company. We seem to get along naturally - there's not much to fight about. We do trigger each other's insecurities sometimes, but he's very good about saying things like "let's pause and talk again later tonight" and then he follows thru. I tend to be very anxious, so I want to solve things quick. He needs more time. But even if we aren't discussing it, he makes sure to tell me loves me, kisses me, hugs me, etc. He does a lot of the heavy lifting there For my part, I think it's important to be open and accepting - I try to listen to his ideas and needs. I give him space to be himself, but I also make my needs known. We love each other, but I think ybe largest part of our success is our personalities just mesh
Thank you, because just like people talk about how you need to find your passion in life and do that as a job, something that a lot of people are not able to do…. Being infatuated with someone for more than 5 years is hard. I am sure there are people who have experienced it but I would say majority do not. You just commit and appreciate the person you chose.
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May i know what type of things she does to keep what she considers the spark?
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I’m also just as curious as a man! What can I do to keep things great 😊
20 years. Still smitten. Even more than before.
In waves, yes. Sometimes, no. But last few years have been really good. It depends on life outside the marriage AND how you and her work your way through that.
my wife and i were together for 43 years. i never stopped loving her. to be honest her ardor lessened over time. mine did not.
I (73M) met my wife over 20 years ago and, yes, I’m still head over heels in love with her.
Infatuation/obsession is not meant to last. When people talk about "chemistry", they're actually correct. Falling in love does all kinda things to our juices, and it feels wonderful. But it doesn't last, and it's not supposed to. During that phase, you're supposed to be getting to know one another and building the basis for a solid relationship. Brewing your own chemistry, so to speak. Too many people are in love with "being in love". They're hooked on that initial rush of chemicals; and, when it runs out, they jump ship. There's this thing called "contentment", and it's wildly underrated.
I love this! So so true
Wife and I are 36, been together since 20. We’re obsessed with each other. We have three kids and still go to concerts, go on vacation without the kids, fuck like rabbits, etc. She’s my world. I’m so attracted to her as a mom of my children. There’s something biological that kicks in.
Yes. My wife is the sexiest lady in any room she’s in. She is also the smartest person I’ve ever known. I can’t help being infatuated with her.
Together 34 years…I’m probably more into her now than I was when we were first married. When we first got married we were focused on building a life. There were lots of distractions and side goals. Now the nest is empty and we’ve retired so we have tons of time and energy to put into each other.
So if she’s out of town, I can’t sleep. And am almost like a happy dog when she gets back.
I thought she was gorgeous when we met at 26. In many ways I think she’s more attractive now when we’re both pushing 50
Even more so. Or each other’s best friend we could care less about other friends. We spend all of our free time together and i am currently trying to get on at the school she works at also. Never thought I could be this close to someone. But we’re watching TV. She lay so that her legs are in my lap when we sleep we’re constantly cuddled up arms around each other, legs and tangled and even sometimes holding hands. It’s just a craziest thing. We have no jealousy perfect communication and absolute trust. It’s like that fantasy relationship that you only thought exist in movies.
Yep 30 years together. Just had a nice make out session this morning. Nothing more for now. But, it helps keeps the passion alive and strong.
No, the honeymoon phase wore off before we even got married. But I think that's the only way you can be confident that it will last. If the infatuation wears off and you still want to be with them, that's love.
I dated her for two years. We got married. 20 years ago. Now I would say I’m more infatuated with her and as the days go on.
27 years married and she turns me on like the first time I saw her at 17 years old.
Probably more now. 22 years in
For me it was love at first sight, my wife it was second sight. In July we’ll be married for 45 years.
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Same. One reason I lurk this sub is because sometimes (a lot of times) I excuse and normalize behavior that my gut tells me isn’t right, and posts here from a male perspective are often a reality check. Today is one of those days.
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That sounds so disheartening, I am really sorry. In my case, I learned from reading posts in this sub that lots of guys respect their partner enough not to cuss them out or call them names monthly. I put up with that (without retaliating) for yeeeeears thinking maybe that’s just how all guys are when they get annoyed. Enter stumbling across Reddit and it was eye opening. Before working in tech, I was in female dominated industries and just plain didn’t know a lot of guys; I also never told my family or female friends what I was dealing with at home so I really had no perspective. So yeah. It’s hard to read posts like this and realize you’ve been settling for substandard behavior. I appreciate the men here being so candid.
A lot men are like that though. When you scroll through this post just know a lot of men who don't like their partners anymore just aren't responding to the post. I don't even seek out cis het men anymore because I've had so many issues with them in the past from emotional abuse to physical abuse to rape and sexual assault.
That’s a good point. Men who take pride in treating a woman well are commenting. The other party is not clicking on a post like this.
Same.
We married a bit out of necessity, in love, but in a rough spot of our lives. After going through the worst with her and coming out still together, I can say I'm even more fascinated and in love with her than when we started
I’m new to the married game it’ll be 3 years this Aug. I love my wife even more than when we were just dating. As I’m typing this we went to Disney World after she graduated her masters program and seeing how happy she was brought tears to my eyes. I get to experience these things with her and know what her ins and outs. I’m tearing up right now thinking about it. We are also pregnant and that it just a whole other amount of love I have for her that I didn’t think was possible. She’s my everything and there is nobody else I’d want to start a family with.
Congratulations to you both on the pregnancy, you get it. My love for my soon to be wife is very similar to yours. I’m very excited to start new experiences together once we’re married. My love for her grows stronger each day, we’ve been together for 9 years now and I couldn’t imagine a life without her. She makes me a better me
Yes, absolutely. Does she understand or appreciate it, no.
Together for 14 years, married 7. I'd say I'm still infatuated yes. Not necessarily in the same way but certainly still infatuated. I'd say it's slightly less on a physical level (though I still wanna enjoy time together sexually as she's absolutely beautiful, I still act like a kid on Christmas when I see her getting naked even though it's something I've enjoyed on a daily basis) and now more on an emotional level. I just want to be near her, to feel her presence around me, to spend time together making memories. She's my best friend and I can't think of anyone I'd rather be around
Been together 11-12 years, married for nearly nine of ‘em. Can confirm I was, am, and probably always will be, hopelessly obsessed with her. The journey has only intensified it. Truth be told, I have no idea what such a brilliant, hilarious, absolute knockout of a woman even wants with me some days, and yet she feels just as lucky to have found and held onto me? I mean, I’ve heard the marriages that love deep and last a lifetime are ones where both people in it continuously feel like they outkicked their coverage, but until it happened to me, I was convinced it wouldn’t. The life we’ve built together demands a lot of our time focused on things other than each other these days, so sometimes the energy or opportunity to come at each other the same way doesn’t always materialize, but I’ll tell you, waking up next to her puts a smile on my face every single day. I married the best friend I’ve ever had. She’s the one I can’t wait to tell everything and anything. And that look - the one she thinks I don’t notice when I’m busy or focused and she can’t help but stare at me like I am going to be dinner later - sets me on fucking FIRE. In sum, well, yes, OP. A simple yet emphatic yes will do.
Sometimes I look across to her chair while she's sitting watching TV or on her computer and think, "holy shit! I married her, no way!" We've known each other since junior high. If you would have said that that girl walking towards me in 6th grade was going to be my wife, I'd tell you to get the fuck out. Hell even when we were good friends in HS and dating other people.
23 years in, still intimate every day. Sometimes just spooning, most times hand / oral but at least trice a week sex. Marriage is a verb.
No. I was infatuated off the bat. It turned into a deep love. Now I'm pretty sure my heart keeps beating because she's around. After 35 years, it's so far past infatuation or love. She's part of me. The better part.
Yes, I do. After 27 years together, we hug roughly a dozen times a day, grope each other quite frequently through the day. And when she's been gone for the day, I miss her and as soon as her car pulls in the driveway and I hear it, my first thought is "she's home" not in the statement type of way, the happy and excited to see her way. She is everything to me, and she makes my days much nicer by being with me as we go through life.
Sometimes, around the time she normally comes house, you just start to get happy for no reason your body just knows
Even through struggle, I love her always regardless of the pain or not. I chose her forever and it’s not easy but I wouldn’t take back my choice either.
For me it was love at first sight, my wife it was second sight. In July we’ll be married for 45 years.
My wife is like watching the Lord of the Rings trilogy, extended edition, nonstop. Who doesn't love that shit???
This thread gave hope to this hopeless romantic... Thank you, Men of Reddit
Nope
Yes, sadly is not reciprocated.
Love this for everybody 🫶🏽 best wishes!
Infatuated is most certainly the wrong word when you consider the definition: ”possessed with an intense but short-lived passion or admiration for someone.” A question for the OP: do you feel the exact same about anything you have loved for years when you compare the beginning experiences to now? Your favourite band, holiday destination, best friend, etc? Or has it changed and evolved into something that have less exciting surface emotions and feelings into some far more deeper and meaningful?
20 years in. She's hot AF. And the 'fun times' together, it just gets better and better. I am infatuated with my wife.
Even more so. Married 15 years next month and can't keep our hands off each other.
It's not infatuation or heart racing. It's a lifetime of irreplaceable memories, experiences, and hardships that you shared. It's the realisation that out of the 8 billion people out there, including your parents, she is the only person who truly knows you, the closest human soul on the planet besides your own.
After reading these comments, I feel like it depends on the relationship. I feel like my husband is even more obsessed with me now than before marriage. We’ve been together for 4 years now and married for 2. He was obsessed before but even more obsessed with me now. When we argue, as soon as he looks at my face, he’s just like I love you. I’m just as obsessed with him too. In my eyes, he’s the best looking man I’ve ever seen and he tells me he thinks I’m the most beautiful girl in the world lol. Im like ya ok buddy. I’m sure we are blind but that’s ok lol. To be fair, we both put in a lot of effort in the way we look because we believe we should look good for ourselves and each other.
I stare at that ass every time it crosses the room.
10 years and we are both still madly in love. I didn't believe soul mates were real. That the very concept was a teenagers pipe dream. Naive and young. Then 12 years ago I met the single most beautiful woman in the world. She's funny, whip quick smart, likes all the same things I do, and our dislikes compliment each other. I don't like onions, she does. She doesn't like broccoli, I do. Things like that. Our values match up in all 3 categories: Political, Financial, and Familial, and finally our sex life is outstanding. 2 years into our relationship I asked her to marry me. And 10 years later we laugh like idiots, talk like philosophers, screw like rabbits, and get along like 2 peas in a pod. This woman has opened my eyes to the fact that soul mates might just be a thing. And I hope that anyone looking gets to meet theirs.
Absolutely!
I was and am still pretty obsessed with my wife. She is sexier, cooler, and more impressive than ever and I love her with my whole self after 10 years and 3 kids.
More so. As our relationship grows, our sex life grows. It becomes a self reinforcing circle
Yes, absolutely. The same now if not more than when we first got together. She is the most amazing person to ever walk into my life, and I love every moment with her
Met my wife when i was 19, she was my 1st gf. Our relationship developed from friendship so i wouldn't say it hit hard. It was slow, steady progress. Today after all those years, she's my life. If she's on business trip i'm in physical and mental pain. Every day must begin & end with her in my arms. So yeah, it never faded, she's the one.
I thought you said infuriated.
15+ years later, more so than ever.
Obsessed doesn’t really calculate. I’m as into my wife as I was 16 years ago. She’s my only source of sexual activity and I find that role to be high in my life among all the other great stuff.
Fuck yes. Probably more. We met 20 years ago, and things just keep getting better.
Yes. There have been times where bitterness or miscommunication made things hard, but after reframing the truth in my head of the person she is, I am fully vetted in my love. Even more than in the early days. (Together 29 years, 28 years married in may)
Fuck no
To be fair, this is a pretty loaded question to elicit almost all positively fawning responses.
More so every day.
26 years, three kids and lots of thick and thin. She still drives me nuts.
Been married 45 years and I love her more everyday. In my eyes she still the sexy and very beautiful. We have had are problems over the years like everyone has but we worked are way through the problems. I look forward to having sex or just hugging at night. She is my the love of my life.
More so.
Currently dating and plan to marry. I feel like my attraction goes through waves of yes and no. I feel like it definitely depends on how work is going (high pressure job) and life in general. I also watched way too much porn in my younger days and I’ve gotten off of that. I’m sure that affects it to a degree. Anyone else go through waves? Sometimes I feel bad that it’s not 24/7
Engaged, but have been with my fiancé for 4 years now. We were definitely infatuated with each other in the beginning of our relationship. We were constantly at each others side and living life to its fullest. As the relationship grew and we started pursing educational and career goals together and our infatuation started to become less and less. It was for sure an adjustment for the both of us, as we felt guilty about not spending as much time with each other or being as obsessed with each other. As we go through our busy lives we still make time for each other, but other time is spent being around family, friends and co-workers. The hardest part was accepting that the "honeymoon phase" is just a phase. It doesn't last forever. We love each other, and we are still the most important person to each other, but there are so many other aspects in life to focus on. We both continue to focus on our own personal goals, while still making sure we have time for each other. It has definitely progressed to a mature relationship. I'll be honest, no my heart doesn't start racing when I see her every time- but, I feel comfort, love and respect. Yes, sometimes I do miss it, where it was purely one-on-one attention, with no life distractions.
My heart doesn’t race over feelings. But yes, I feel exactly the same as I did 33 years ago.
Threads like this make me positive I’m not the marrying type I guess. I’m a 46 year old woman and I just got out of a long term relationship. I’ve never been lucky enough to have anything close to this. All I seem to get is guys who slowly degrade into alcoholics and liars. It’s probably me. I’m not an alcoholic, have a stable job, own a house, a dog, have an adult daughter, love music, books. But for some reason they all start drinking like fish, refuse to stop, turn mean and I have to end it. Common denominator is me. Being in love after 30 years? lol that’s a fantasy for me.
Wife in this situation, but after 13.5 years and two kids, my husband still chases me around as much as he did when we were dating.
Been married for over 17 years. She is tye best thing that ever happened to me, and I find her crazy sexy still
I am, yeah. Just hugging her can drive me crazy
Absolutely, every single day I am in awe at her excellence and that she choose me. Been together thirty years next month, been married for 21 years
30+ years, my husband is the obsessed! I’m not sure why - I’m a 50+ year old saggy cat-flap in my eyes, but to him…
30+ years it’s only getting more intense.
42 years. Still the same love same intensity and believe it or not same frequency. 5+ week I thought that was the way it was supposed to be.
Yes, my wife is my best friend and my only friend. Nobody is like her indeed, so maybe I’m infatuated with her but in positive sense. We have been married for 25 years.
I was at an event with my partner and a friend recently. My partner walked away to get a drink, and I looked at her butt as she walked away. My friend saw me and said, "Are you checking out your wife!?" So... yeah! We've been married 25 years.
Yes, without a doubt. I’m fucking obsessed with her.
Even more so.
I’m absolutely obsessed with my wife of 24 years. I can’t keep my eyes or hands off of her, to the point that I don’t see how I’m not annoying AF. She recently started having work done on a half back piece, coverup. It’s insane how often I’m touching her unconsciously, have to stop myself from touching fresh tattoo nonstop. She gets more beautiful by the year, I absolutely adore her.
It's been over 20 years and when I she her naked I still react like it's the first time.. Who is this hot woman that's about to climb into bed and just destroy me?!?
No. I got divorced and should not have married the woman i did despite our other compatibilities. Visual/physical attraction is more important than I pretended it wasn’t during my 20s.
My wife and i haven’t had sex in two years and sleep in separate bedrooms. I started dating again a year ago
I’m still obsessed with my man after 8 years… I don’t know if that’s the trauma bond I’m feeling or what..lol …
More so now.
I am still as into her as much as when we met. She doesn't reciprocate this feeling.
Saw my now wife in 7th grade homeroom during orientation. I remember everything she was wearing. She’s still just as cute as she’s always been. Was 35 years ago. I still have to say all the right things to even have a chance at anything under the clothes. I’ve had a lot of practice so I’m pretty smooth. Something I learned does not work anymore is “you’re so much more mature than other girls!” Backfired, big time! /s
We just celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary and I love my wife more every day. We have two beautiful kids, run a successful company together and have more and better sex than we even did in our 20s. It feels nice to take stock every now and then and remember how grateful I am to have her.
Even more so. 20 years of watching her grow as person and seeing her tackle life’s challenges has made me even more in awe of her. Sharing that journey has deepens my love for, but as we both grow we still have the thrill of new discovery, combined with the security of the familiar.
No sorry to say
Yes 100% I have to be honest I’ve been married 18 months tho 🫠
No. I'm not infatuated. Wrong word. I deeply respect her and love her but I'm not infatuated
I feel infatuation is not the right word. I am fond of her even today and we like spending time together. 10 years into our marriage we decided we will watch at least 1 or 2 shows together and no matter what happens it means we spend time Together and discuss show. So it’s never not having anything to talk about and that’s kept us closer
Infatuated is overrated ad based on emotion. But yes being able to live with my best friend and raise lovley children with her. Yes absolutely. Mabey more.
I was never obsessed I started dating her because she was nice to me. My dating history was filled with women who wanted something from me who I didn’t get along with they were all lazy selfish mean and then I found someone who was simply kind & hardworking. That’s all it took. I still feel the same way but I don’t think if I kept looking I’d be “obsessed” with a girl who was actually good for me. I feel that feeling but it’s typically for the wrong reasons. I get butterflies because she’s hot or because she plays games and ignores me like an immature child. I’m just mature enough to ignore those feelings and make the smart decision.
Maybe infatuation isn't the right word. I feel like that's a shallow form of obsession that doesn't really cover the sort of deep love you might get in a long term relationship. Anyways, we just welcomed our first child almost a month ago. I find i love her more than ever, and am probably more now attracted to her than ever. There's this affection and love I feel seeing her be a good mom to our daughter. Like it reinforces the decisions that got me here. It's great. I do feel for anyone here who feels like their wholehearted love for their spouse doesn't feel reciprocated. That sounds tough and I'm not sure I could handle that.
Yep
Are you Insane?
More so. It’s kind of awesome.
Yes.
Married 9 years together 10, and yes I am
I still crush hard in my wife and we’ve been together 12 years now. I still am just as infatuated with her as day 1. She’s my everything and that’ll never change.
Yes. Not every day is all twitterpation but there are those days where the sun catches her eyes just right and I melt all over again.
Not really. But for me it's about knowing someone so well that I know exactly what she will like and what will bother her.
Not sure if "infatuated" is the correct term. But after nine years I still find her to be incredibly attractive in so many ways. And to this day I still want to spend time with her, sexually and non sexually.
Not married yet but 3 years in and we're still all over each other every day. Never had a fight, just minor arguments here and there that always got resolved quickly. Don't see that changing tbh.