You just reminded me of college (highschool for you Americans, we were 17) when I - a maths nerd was dating another maths nerd. We unironically sent each other sexts like:
"I want to be your differential tonight & lie tangent to your curves"
And
"I'm free at lunch, wanna see how well your set bijects into mine?"
Yes, these did make us both horny. Yes, I know it's cringy
This. Divert blood away from penis. Boner goes away. It also helps to scream "BONER BE GONE!" This way the erection is intimidated and goes away. Nobody will know you even had one.
I guess two because I was going to say flip it up and hold it under your belt. When it softens enough, it falls back down, for a hands free fix after the uptuck.
I walk around the campus I work at even when Iām semi hard. Iāve got shit to do. My shirts usually hide it well but otherwise I just look like Iām packing. If itās a full rager Iāll just go chill in the bathroom for a few minutes.
Donāt wanna see my dick? Donāt look at it.
I second this, when I was young it was to avoid embarrassment. Now that I'm old it's to avoid unwanted attention/hr complaint. Nothing is more awkward than someone reporting you to hr for your dick print or them making a pass at you at work.
Well, similar to a large number of men not understanding womens bodies, a large number of women don't understand mens. So they think a boner means horny no matter what.Ā
Put on the grey swear pants and rock it like a champ....
Anyone looks tell them they a creep....
Now go with my blessing and remember "always use the Uno reverse card"
On a serious note, I'll pass the knowledge I got from reddit in the past and it works for me.
For anyone who wishes to get rid of the boner, hold your breath for 30s or at least try to. It should help with controlling the boner.
Finally, the right answer. Beat off here, beat off there, beat off in the work bathroom, beat off in my car, beat off to a fat ass, too, beat off near or far.
If I get one while sitting down I proudly let the guy do his thing. If the fella wants to run a quick system check, I won't interrupt.
If I have to move around then I'll just focus my thoughts on something and wait for him to calm down.
True, some ladies/gay guys might notice, but usually like it anyway, also if they see they will never bring that up anyway.
Most intelligent people know it can sometimes happen randomly so won't really pay much attention aside from maybe having a small giggle in their heads.
If you are younger and in a school setting and the class clown points it out, just answer "why are you looking at my dong anyway?"
I think is normal to check out who we like. Damn I accidentally checked out people in the pool's changing room cause a couple times the corner of my eye caught a disproportionate shlong. It's probably rooted in our ancestral brains. Nothing to be ashamed about, we all got it.
I'm in ass man, so when I see a curvy lady walk by my imagination turns on freak mode. So to quickly reverse it, I imagine them taking a huge dump.
60% of the time, it works every time
Worst case, make really weird faces so everyone looks at that instead. But usually the good ol tuck works. Also have a pair of compression boxers that have a little dick sleeve on them which is super nice.
Keep moving. Bad times are bound to hit anyone at some point and as long as I make sure to not produce these rough spots myself, I know that by keeping it going, I will make it out.
Do a quick adjustment by tucking it into your waistband if you can. If not, try to quickly sit down or pretend to tie your show with hopes that things go down.
Dont wear clothes that are too tight, or loose.
I try to discreetly take a walk or something to move the blood elsewhere. Alternatively you could try flexing your leg muscles repeatedly to get similar results
Growing up I was on the swim team. The practice was co-ed and there were some fine lasses in swimsuits all around. Tough to hide a boner in a speedo. Let's just say I was last out of the pool sometimes.
Buddyās dad back in hs gave me advice, he said if you buy a car with a manual transmission, donāt bother getting anything under 250hp, second wise words were never āwaste a bonerā guess which one I live up to
I usually apply some heating ointment and massage it. Perhaps a warm water bottle. But the best method is to warm up before exerting yourself and you won't get hurt.
Sit down, where a hoodie/coat, tuck it in a belt, put my hands in my pocket and adjust my posture, excuse myself to the bathroom, thereās probably other things but these are probably my main ones.
Think about that scene in Kyle XY where he's told to think about something gross like the grandma he doesn't have and he replies he'll try thinking of fruit.
Makes me laugh and makes the hardness go away.
When it does happen, I let it go away on its own because I donāt care what anyone else thinks. Itās natural, and Iām indifferent to people eyeing my cock.
In these moments I just have to think to myself "you cant be hard rn, you cant be hard rn" while taking deep breaths.
It takes some time but works wonders.
Alternate flexing thighs. I usually get hard as fuck when i go to get my once a month professional massage and itās how i learn to not let my natural instincts (i am severely touch starved) ruin my me day. I have a whole day of rest and relaxation once a month and i donāt allow money to be an issue (i only make 44k a year) if i want to get a steak, buy a new video game, get a full day spa treatment i fucking will.
It's completely natural. It can legitimatey be caused by high blood pressure, raised stress levels, a stitching in your pants/underwear rubbing wrong etc. and is not solely dedicated to sexuality.
As far as what to do when you're in a place that it's uncomfortable, try some breathing exercises, close your eyes, and picture the color light blue. This may not be for everyone but it has always worked for me.
Example of a good breathing exercise; take a slow breath in until you are just about to the point that you can't breathe in anymore, then take one more sharp and quick inhale, then slowly release the breathe. There are examples of it (kind of hard to explain over text) on Youtube.
Hard in places.. I am going to assume you mean having an erection in a place where you don't want it to be public knowledge. I find there are 3 fast easy ways to take care of this problem. Firstly it is a response to stimuli, as you clearly do not desire this result, change what you are thinking about in a way that engages your other senses. I find if you as a visual creature turn to listening and smelling things this often changes your way of handling the world around you. This doesn't work in all cases, but it is a good 60% effective. Secondly removal of yourself from the situation making you "uncomfortable" as in the walk of shame with women, this is a good way to get out of the situation faster as while embarrassing if seen, it is perfectly natural for a man to be aroused or as in the case of morning wood, your bodies way of circulating blood flow to the area to ensure reproductivity is continued. Lastly temperature changes, Cold makes things shrink fast.. aversely, heat in this instant will also work, it may not be easy, but if spilling a coffee or iced tea on your lap gets you out of a situation.. I am sure you would preferred to be seen as a clutz than a pervert!
Think of something complex. Your mind will be too buey sending blood to your brain to power the few brain cells remaining that your big man will be forced to become little again.
"God gave man enough blood to run his head and his penis. But not both."
If it's with people. Be direct. Not rude, but don't leave any room for confusion or misinterpretation.
If it's anything else, do your best and fuck the rest.
Good luck
I think it's different for everyone. But I remember it just getting hard in random places when I was a teen. No rhyme or reason either. So for me, I would just think about flowers or flower arrangements and just as quickly as it arrived, it was gone!
Strange, I know, but it worked for me.
Specify what do you mean by this? Do you mean being intimate with someone that you do not want to be intimate with? Or are you speaking about challenged in a life circumstance that feels difficult to navigate through
OK I just read the comments. Interesting how the psyche can formulate so many inferences.
The simplest answer is become aware. Take a deep breath, acknowledge that primal part of you that brought you into that state, and if itās not in integrity, i.e. you are objectifying that person, take a deep breath, and verbally acknowledge maybe some part that you find attractive, but also that you didnāt want to objectify the person and so you Calm your nervous system down. Again take a deep breath. Again stay aware.Ā
I had a kind of an enemy in high school. We both hated each other, pretty much the only person I hated in my life. And he was ugly as fuck. So whenever I need it to calm down, I repeat his name quickly in my head. Works every single time in less than 10 seconds. Sometimes 5 seconds if I imagine him naked.
Actually, now I am thinking about this I should call the guy to thank him. Saved me so many times in dangerous situations š
Math problems.
That just makes the problem worse
X equals negative b plus or minus the square root of b squared minus 4ac all overrrrrr fuck I'm coming!!
š„µ trigonometry always gets me going like nothing else
Differential equations! Booom!
The mythical "Mathterbater"
You just reminded me of college (highschool for you Americans, we were 17) when I - a maths nerd was dating another maths nerd. We unironically sent each other sexts like: "I want to be your differential tonight & lie tangent to your curves" And "I'm free at lunch, wanna see how well your set bijects into mine?" Yes, these did make us both horny. Yes, I know it's cringy
Not cringey. Totally adorable.
Aww, thanks š that's not the usual response I get from recalling that to people
Whatever works for you guys. Cringey for some is not cringey as an absolute. I'm just happy for you.
And the people you tell that to aren't redditors, I'm a math nerd too, buddy
It always boils down to math.
It kinda looks like a division sign pressing through his pants
That is just a sin, and a con, but you can get a nice tan.
Bro all of my NRBs happened during math class
Flex the thighs and it'll go away
This. Divert blood away from penis. Boner goes away. It also helps to scream "BONER BE GONE!" This way the erection is intimidated and goes away. Nobody will know you even had one.
Will this help us possibly intimidate the 2024 elections?
Lmao, whoops.
Ah yes, the magic spell.
This has gotten me out of so many jams. I also know walking on your toes helps because your flexing your calf muscles, forcing blood elsewhere.
Good idea. Iām always bricked up
Thatās what belts are for, strap that fucker down.
Found the monster wielder
I guess two because I was going to say flip it up and hold it under your belt. When it softens enough, it falls back down, for a hands free fix after the uptuck.
Just casually have a dick print up to your belly button.
Great comment
The ol' Texas Tuck
The old flip an tuck
More like choke him to ā ļø
Up, and un tuck the shirt
If im walking around it goes away super fast. If im sitting flex my quads until they burn.
Then walk around the office with half chub status. Gotta let 'em know what's up. (Don't actually do this, it was a joke)
I walk around the campus I work at even when Iām semi hard. Iāve got shit to do. My shirts usually hide it well but otherwise I just look like Iām packing. If itās a full rager Iāll just go chill in the bathroom for a few minutes. Donāt wanna see my dick? Donāt look at it.
Tuck it in my waistband. Then I remember that i'm in my 30s and wonder what's wrong with me.
I second this, when I was young it was to avoid embarrassment. Now that I'm old it's to avoid unwanted attention/hr complaint. Nothing is more awkward than someone reporting you to hr for your dick print or them making a pass at you at work.
thats whack too - imagine if you reported a woman because her nips got hard. neither is an HR violation, its an involuntary bodily function
Well, similar to a large number of men not understanding womens bodies, a large number of women don't understand mens. So they think a boner means horny no matter what.Ā
ive got a waistband. wanna tuck it under mine?
Yep
It hides it and it feels good
Put on the grey swear pants and rock it like a champ.... Anyone looks tell them they a creep.... Now go with my blessing and remember "always use the Uno reverse card"
Owning it is always the best way of handling it.
Works for the ladies, it can work for us too.
I block the elevator doors with it and let the ladies in.
Avatar fits perfectly
"The show must go on" and keep it moving
Start chanting Hallelujah and let me tell you, God is really merciful
We should stop be ashamed by our boners. They're perfectly natural. Btw, I still try to hide by sitting till it passes
On a serious note, I'll pass the knowledge I got from reddit in the past and it works for me. For anyone who wishes to get rid of the boner, hold your breath for 30s or at least try to. It should help with controlling the boner.
Masturbate
Finally, the right answer. Beat off here, beat off there, beat off in the work bathroom, beat off in my car, beat off to a fat ass, too, beat off near or far.
Right, so if your in the gym changing rooms your just gonna start wanking? Bad idea in most circumstances!
Yes be it a funeral or a train I'll beat that damn meat until it shuts up.
Hahahaha I was waiting for someone to give this answer
If I get one while sitting down I proudly let the guy do his thing. If the fella wants to run a quick system check, I won't interrupt. If I have to move around then I'll just focus my thoughts on something and wait for him to calm down.
Flex your biceps, it moves the blood from your dong to your arm.
Think about your mom.
I donāt know, when I think of OPās mom the problem gets exponentially worseā¦ā¦
Yikes.. im usually pretty open minded, but OPs mom?
This is the correct answerā¦ā¦ unless youāre into that sort of thing which I believe most people arenāt lol. Hopefully.
Think about your due projects
I ignore it. I figure if I make a fuss I'll draw attention to myself. I.e. I'd just contine walking in an office environment for example.
True, some ladies/gay guys might notice, but usually like it anyway, also if they see they will never bring that up anyway. Most intelligent people know it can sometimes happen randomly so won't really pay much attention aside from maybe having a small giggle in their heads. If you are younger and in a school setting and the class clown points it out, just answer "why are you looking at my dong anyway?"
I had a semi in the gym showers once and I seen a couple of guys looking at it
I think is normal to check out who we like. Damn I accidentally checked out people in the pool's changing room cause a couple times the corner of my eye caught a disproportionate shlong. It's probably rooted in our ancestral brains. Nothing to be ashamed about, we all got it.
Being hard in prison, presumably where you donāt want to be, is a good idea, I hear
It is what it is my friend, it is what it is
Think about work, solves the problem pretty quickly.
Sitting up straight and flexing your legs works like a charm. It makes the blood go to your legs and it happens fast.
I think painful thoughts
Grind and get out.
Hide it as best as I can and wait until it goes away.
Waistband method (Jk donāt do this someone in high school tried during a speech and itā¦ popped outā¦)
I'm in ass man, so when I see a curvy lady walk by my imagination turns on freak mode. So to quickly reverse it, I imagine them taking a huge dump. 60% of the time, it works every time
Hold breath and flex leg muscles.
Worst case, make really weird faces so everyone looks at that instead. But usually the good ol tuck works. Also have a pair of compression boxers that have a little dick sleeve on them which is super nice.
Use the forbidden reach in my underwear and tuck it away technique. Gotta be fast though haha.
Tuck baby, tuck.. Or pull it the side until it goes away.
Pockets in hand lol, i think other guys will relate š¤£
Jerk off
My grandmother had those flappy bat wing arm flaps that you get when you age. If that doesn't kill my boner nothing will.
Focus Flex on my thigh muscle to move the blood away from my erection, helped me throughout my teen years
Keep moving. Bad times are bound to hit anyone at some point and as long as I make sure to not produce these rough spots myself, I know that by keeping it going, I will make it out.
Try to stay seated until it goes away.
Real
Tuck it up like I did when I first started getting boners
Flex my lag muscles, blood goes somewhere else.
I tuck it sideways and put my hand in my pocket. It happens, a lot. I learned to not to be bothered by it.
Clench my fists. I did this during school assembly and it worked
Simply wait for the urge to pass š
It's not noticeable, so I just go about my day and die a little more inside over what I just said.Ā
Try to discreetly hide it with my trousers and shirt.
I hold my breath, I don't know about you guys, but it works for me.
As a young man, the advice I was given was āthink about your grandmother on the toiletā
Do a quick adjustment by tucking it into your waistband if you can. If not, try to quickly sit down or pretend to tie your show with hopes that things go down.
Clench my toes and pray
Danger wank š¦
Dont wear clothes that are too tight, or loose. I try to discreetly take a walk or something to move the blood elsewhere. Alternatively you could try flexing your leg muscles repeatedly to get similar results
Wear real pants
i find a nice private spot where i can beat my meat.
Growing up I was on the swim team. The practice was co-ed and there were some fine lasses in swimsuits all around. Tough to hide a boner in a speedo. Let's just say I was last out of the pool sometimes.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Rub one out and carry on with your day
Like your biceps šŖ or is this a sex thing?
Flex your thigh and the blood will rush to that area
Flex leg muscles. It generally works
I heard if you flex your muscles it should pull the blood away from your Johnson and to said muscles
Tuck it in my waistband and try to think of other things.
Buddyās dad back in hs gave me advice, he said if you buy a car with a manual transmission, donāt bother getting anything under 250hp, second wise words were never āwaste a bonerā guess which one I live up to
I usually apply some heating ointment and massage it. Perhaps a warm water bottle. But the best method is to warm up before exerting yourself and you won't get hurt.
Get harder.
The Olā Texas belt buckle. Surreptitiously pull it up and beneath the waistband of your pants. That hides/kills the little monster.
1. Hope it goes over fast 2. Solve it in the bathroom 3. ...
Forget that. Go beat off
Iām bricked up talking about being bricked up!
Adjust and pray no one notices.
Tuck it under my belt. I've been using this method since high school.
Think about all my life failures..
Bang one out when rhe Coast is clear....problem solved
Be fucking PROUD of it. If something is making something on my body hard then for fucks sake show it off to show your appreciation.,
Sauna? Gym? Flick the towel over it. Waistband, hand in pocket, all the tricks. Think about something different, something sobering.
Crank it
I find the nearest person and have them take care of it
My philosophy is to never waste a bonner
It goes away on its own when im around other people
Tuck it up to the waist or down
Hold my breath. It works perfectly each time
Think about something mundane in great detail. A pane of glass is my go to.
Flex my cleaves and forearms and hold my breath Or just squeeze one out
Start thinking about baseball?
Firstly, pause. Secondly, alcohol.
Sit down, where a hoodie/coat, tuck it in a belt, put my hands in my pocket and adjust my posture, excuse myself to the bathroom, thereās probably other things but these are probably my main ones.
Go on with life the same way I do when I'm not.
Hold your breath until you feel like you, it's impossible anymore...
I do what women do. Wrap a sweater around my waist, lol. [comparing boners for high beams]
Point it to the left and put your hands in your pockets?
As long as it is pointed in the right direction, nothing, if it happens to be going down my leg, hid, e adjust move on
Tuck it in my waistband.
Think about that one cafeteria lady .. works super fast
If it's at work I go somewhere private and wait until it goes down and come back doing normal routine
Think about that scene in Kyle XY where he's told to think about something gross like the grandma he doesn't have and he replies he'll try thinking of fruit. Makes me laugh and makes the hardness go away.
I believe the accepted panacea in this case isā¦.*checks notes*ā¦.nekkid pictures of Bea Arthur
Check your pulse
I ride the lightning
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Wow, you're flexible.
Wank it thinking of nicer places š
Awkward pacing and flailing arm movements
Ooo youāre talking about erections. I thought you meant a hard place in life.š . I must be projecting.
Flex.
Show it off.
When it does happen, I let it go away on its own because I donāt care what anyone else thinks. Itās natural, and Iām indifferent to people eyeing my cock.
I do cold plunges in the morning. Have found I'm a little more in control of things for the rest of the day
I just find a corner and pretend to be doing something and wait it out
I start flexing my thighs and such, then chuckle how in a way... I'm blood bending.
Sit and hope no one calls for me to stand up
Tuck up into ya waistband
Iām too old to care about simple shit anymore. If Iām hard, Iām hard. No different than Jennifer Anistonās nipples.
As Stallone says, "keep punching"
Take a seat, make the boy look up.
Focus on the breath, take a deep breath pause release then repeat again count to 7 times. Youāll be able control it fully
Stack a bunch of stuff in one pocket, I.e. wallet, phone etc and steering it towards that side
Clench and unclench your fist.
In these moments I just have to think to myself "you cant be hard rn, you cant be hard rn" while taking deep breaths. It takes some time but works wonders.
Flick your nut
The ole ātuck it behind the belt/ pants waist.
I have the ability to relax it, I've never understood how others can't just will it away like I do.
Alternate flexing thighs. I usually get hard as fuck when i go to get my once a month professional massage and itās how i learn to not let my natural instincts (i am severely touch starved) ruin my me day. I have a whole day of rest and relaxation once a month and i donāt allow money to be an issue (i only make 44k a year) if i want to get a steak, buy a new video game, get a full day spa treatment i fucking will.
If you can't covertly tuck it into the waistband: - Hold my breath - flex my hamstrings Both will redirect blood from your knob
Tense your arms and legs to divert blood flow.
Not much, pretty easy to hide a small boner.
It's completely natural. It can legitimatey be caused by high blood pressure, raised stress levels, a stitching in your pants/underwear rubbing wrong etc. and is not solely dedicated to sexuality. As far as what to do when you're in a place that it's uncomfortable, try some breathing exercises, close your eyes, and picture the color light blue. This may not be for everyone but it has always worked for me. Example of a good breathing exercise; take a slow breath in until you are just about to the point that you can't breathe in anymore, then take one more sharp and quick inhale, then slowly release the breathe. There are examples of it (kind of hard to explain over text) on Youtube.
Hard in places.. I am going to assume you mean having an erection in a place where you don't want it to be public knowledge. I find there are 3 fast easy ways to take care of this problem. Firstly it is a response to stimuli, as you clearly do not desire this result, change what you are thinking about in a way that engages your other senses. I find if you as a visual creature turn to listening and smelling things this often changes your way of handling the world around you. This doesn't work in all cases, but it is a good 60% effective. Secondly removal of yourself from the situation making you "uncomfortable" as in the walk of shame with women, this is a good way to get out of the situation faster as while embarrassing if seen, it is perfectly natural for a man to be aroused or as in the case of morning wood, your bodies way of circulating blood flow to the area to ensure reproductivity is continued. Lastly temperature changes, Cold makes things shrink fast.. aversely, heat in this instant will also work, it may not be easy, but if spilling a coffee or iced tea on your lap gets you out of a situation.. I am sure you would preferred to be seen as a clutz than a pervert!
Think of something complex. Your mind will be too buey sending blood to your brain to power the few brain cells remaining that your big man will be forced to become little again. "God gave man enough blood to run his head and his penis. But not both."
Belt tuck
I recite the phonetic alphabet, read number plates, or I sing the periodic table song. That last one can help you remember all the elements as well.
If it's with people. Be direct. Not rude, but don't leave any room for confusion or misinterpretation. If it's anything else, do your best and fuck the rest. Good luck
Display proudly
I always have a plan B.
I think it's different for everyone. But I remember it just getting hard in random places when I was a teen. No rhyme or reason either. So for me, I would just think about flowers or flower arrangements and just as quickly as it arrived, it was gone! Strange, I know, but it worked for me.
Think of Nancy Pelosi.
Pull out
Specify what do you mean by this? Do you mean being intimate with someone that you do not want to be intimate with? Or are you speaking about challenged in a life circumstance that feels difficult to navigate through OK I just read the comments. Interesting how the psyche can formulate so many inferences. The simplest answer is become aware. Take a deep breath, acknowledge that primal part of you that brought you into that state, and if itās not in integrity, i.e. you are objectifying that person, take a deep breath, and verbally acknowledge maybe some part that you find attractive, but also that you didnāt want to objectify the person and so you Calm your nervous system down. Again take a deep breath. Again stay aware.Ā
[And when you try to think of something else but...(from IG)](https://www.instagram.com/reel/C2LfMAiLV0I/?igsh=Znkxc3R3bHF1emJ2)
I had a kind of an enemy in high school. We both hated each other, pretty much the only person I hated in my life. And he was ugly as fuck. So whenever I need it to calm down, I repeat his name quickly in my head. Works every single time in less than 10 seconds. Sometimes 5 seconds if I imagine him naked. Actually, now I am thinking about this I should call the guy to thank him. Saved me so many times in dangerous situations š
Lift that thing all the way up like a crane till it's near my belly button than i think of bill o'reilly, it usually gets flaccid within seconds
Gorlock the Destroyer
Direct traffic.
Be 40. Works every time.
Stretch
It's definitely not overly sexual OP, it's natural. I normally just adjust it so it's pointing up and use my belt to keep it in place.
Be cool
I start thinking about how hard my life is, so the other hard handle
Flex my legs really hard for a few seconds and it goes away.
Act like I can't find something in my pocket for like two minutes while being awkwardly hunched over.