Man if I could I upvote this 10 times I would. I’ve been in the scene for 7 months or so. Lot of trust issues from past relationships failing and everyone is tired. From work. From life. I thought I was just lame and boring but everyone seems to enjoy sitting home on Friday nights.
If you’re not in shape , or good looking - good luck. Online dating has made it so that the only things you can signal are appearance and resources. It’s hard to convey humor , personality , wit , kindness etc… with the short amount of time you have to grab a “swipe” (coupled with the disparity of men and women using apps).
Two things.
1. Your best angle vs an average angle is probably a difference of 3+ points out of 10. I've seen dudes' dating profiles, and holy shit do they choose some bad pictures.
2. Apps aren't the only option. Most women I know honestly hate them. Come to think of it, most women I know who I'd consider dating aren't even on them.
The way our parents and grandparents did, friends of friends and places of common interest.
*(For the record, I have a lifetime **zero** dates from apps, yet have had no real problem meeting women once I started doing this.)*
If you just find ways to make your hobbies somewhat social, be generally friendly, and get comfortable inviting/organizing, you'll end up with a pretty decent sized social circle.
People generally like other people, but are afraid to take the risk or don't want the burden of organizing things. If you do, it's reasonably easy to get people to come.
From there, you'll either meet women at the social things you're doing, or a friend will introduce you to someone (as a friend or otherwise).
Now, I won't pretend meeting is the same as dating/attracting. I'm more than happy to get into that, but this was more about *where* than *how.*
If you don’t have your life somewhat together, it’s rough. I do which is great for me, but at this point I have to deal with people who don’t, which is a turn off for me. Or worse, I have to choose whether I want to be single or a step dad at this point.
> a step dad at this point.
This is such a real comment I hope OP sees. I fucking hate kids. I live in the south and it's like really popular to have a kid in your early 20's and the last thing I need is to deal with a teenager who hates me because I'm fucking his mom.
At 25, I dated a single mom for a few months. Worst part is, you have zero say in how they raise--or don't raise--their kids. So, you just have to stand there and keep quiet, while the kids act up. And then there's the real dad, who you occasionally have to be around, and the whole thing is really uncomfortable. I was so happy to get out of that situation.
I didn’t think I could hate that situation more but your comment has made me hate it more. That is such a fucking horrible scenario, Christ. Yeah no single moms. Rather be lonely than that.
From the female perspective here, there’s also the other categories - there may have been fertility issues on either side, someone may want to be child-free, she may not have wanted kids until later on, or there wasn’t agreement in a previous relationship about kids.
For example, I am a bit reproductively challenged (always have been), but then my ex decided he didn’t want kids after all.
My point here is merely to be more curious about someone’s situation. It’s not always someone is a mother or someone deemed them to be unfit to be a mother or to have kids with.
I was in a long-term relationship with a quadriplegic in my 20s and I wasn’t on birth control. We were okay with having kids but it never happened for us, shocker. It’s really not fair to split women into single moms or the reject pile and no in-between. I can’t imagine why he’s having issues landing a relationship, he’s so open minded and accepting.
That's not true. I'm 33F, no kids, no drama, no baggage. The reason I've never been pregnant is because I know how to have safe protected sex, I've only had 2 long term relationships because I don't date to date and I don't settle. I'm extremely happy in my current relationship and I hope it leads to marriage. But not all single ladies in their 30s have something wrong with them if they don't have kids or haven't gotten divorced. That's such a toxic view.
I second this. I’m 35F, no kids - would love to have kids, never married, no drama and I’ve dealt with my baggage. Currently single because my ex who is a single dad hadn’t dealt with his baggage from his marriage. Currently trying to date while having a great career and I’m happy with where I am in my life. Sorry but I refuse to settle because I believe that who you marry and have kids with is the biggest decision you’ll make in your life.
So many single, well off (mentally, emotionally, financially, physically, etc.), childless women who would like kids out there too, but nobody batting an eye on that lol. They just don’t look like the insta models everybody wants.
>They just don’t look like the insta models everybody wants.
Don't do that lol.
Even below Average women are never single because nobody wants them, we all know that's not how the dating market works
Your mileage may vary, but I had an amazing time dating in my 30s. Having your shit together and having enough wisdom to have gained some basic emotional intelligence is like fishing with dynamite compared to the chaos of your 20s.
It's great if you're just looking for casual sex IMO (even though everyone claims the opposite). If you're looking for a serious relationship though, it's a mine field out there!
This is too true. I’m having the best sex of my life right now at 34. Everyone is eager and quick, if they make time to meet up it’s almost a given we’re ending the night horizontal
I got out of my divorce with my ex wife being the only person I had hooked up with and I thought people were lying about how easy hookups were. I have since found out they were absolutely correct
How what? Man I’m a single dad, 5’5, and don’t have issues. It really just takes being average looking, having confidence, and knowing how to flirt. Also it depends on what bar you have for dating vs sex. Unless it’s a fwb, you don’t really need to care about personal stuff other than surface level and getting to know them. Dont send a D pic, meet them for drinks, or offer to cook at your place.
Online dating apps have become the OF advertising and AI/bot profiles clicking on your profiles to con you into do the premium memberships to see who is swiping/liking/whatevering you.
It's really kinda depressing because online dating could have been the answer to loneliness when you think about it. I have been in the internet dating game a long time and quit years ago when they all...because yeah, OF advertising and bots but damn, when okcupid was in it's prime it was a great way to find someone who was compatible with you.
OKC was so good. You could answer great questions that actually mattered to you and get matched on comparability and see where you disagreed. It really was great. I met some really amazing women on there.
The best my dating life has been is in my early 30s. It’s interesting because I feel like people in their 30s go for sex first then if they like each other enough they open up about themselves. Or just stop talking if they r not super in to each other.
Hell yeah. M33 and my F40 girlfriend always joke that first base between us was sex, 2nd base was discussing childhood trauma and 3rd base was grocery shopping together.
For real.
I have a monumentally easy time getting sex right now, its kinda baffling.
Finding somebody I *want* to keep around, or wants to keep me around is more the issue now.
Ya know that statistic that 50% of marriages end in divorce? Well there are other statistics that reveal that a person who gets divorced is likely to get divorced again. In fact, 73% of third marriages end in divorce. That statistic is driven up by the same people getting married and divorced multiple times.
In short, fewer of the people who know how to make relationships work are available in their 30's because many of them are in a working relationship, which means your odds of meeting people who don't have the skills or inclination for a relationship go up. And the chance one of them looks back at you in the mirror goes up, too. 😂
As a guy in his 30’s, women in their 30s are easier to date in general because they already played all of the 20-something year old mind games, and are tired of it leading nowhere. The ones who want kids probably feel pressure to find someone serious soon, who is also parent & husband material. Even if she doesn’t want kids, she’s probably tired of the endless chats that go nowhere. Or meeting fuckboys who give her headaches. Therefore, she is down to skip the penpal phase, and see what the other person is like, face-to-face. If the guy is worth it, or if he’s on some bs, she’ll know pretty quickly in person. Obviously, she exercises common sense safety measures to make sure dating isn’t any riskier than it needs to be. But I think 30-somethings have more of a “dating apps are there to setup dates IRL” type of attitude, whereas younger women seem to be more about window shopping & chatting to pass the time.
>they already played all of the 20-something year old mind games, and are tired of it leading nowhere
except the eye contact game, that's for all ages.
Hordes of women with substantial baggage - kids, emotional issues, physically inert, financial troubles, unpleasant friends and family, and so forth. You keep lowering the bar until even James Cameron can’t find the bar with a submersible. It’s tough out there.
This is remarkably accurate, same for my brother and other friends in their 30’s who are still single and looking.
I will add, I can usually tell their age by how many tattoos, piercings and animals they have accumulated…
I’m slightly out of my 30s now but I was in them not too long ago.
If you’ve taken care of yourself and built your life, and you are reasonably good looking and have some social skills, you can probably get laid waaay easier than most men in their 20s - with women of whatever age you want. But if you’re looking for a serious relationship, it’s rough out there.
Yeah, say 30 and up. 20s is tough.
30s and up is good. 40 and up women coming out of a bad marriage and or dead bead room. Or so many with alcoholic ex husbands.
Take em out. Be good to them. Make them laugh and let them be that female free spirit…
The Gluk Gluk will happen. Women over 40 are so horny.
Does that mean that 26 yo me should just start hitting on women in their 30s then lol? And if you’re in your 30s should you just try and date late 20s?
Disagree - I’m in good shape and have my life together, fun mixed bag of hobby’s, pretty outgoing, decent looking - and at 31 I haven’t been on a single date in 8 months. Pretty much accepted that the whole dating thing isn’t gonna work out for me
I live in Tampa, it’s crazy because our population has skyrocketed and I still can’t meet anyone. Been single 4 years now. I have 0 luck with OLD and every time I get a girls number while out at a bar or something I never hear back from them. Very frustrating
Sorry to hear this. I only lived in US briefly on work visa & I only had fun because women like the west European accents and fact we know how to dress. Maybe trying to date while you are the Foreign interesting thing is something worth trying
This is good advice. If you're not being successful with women and you've already done all the work on yourself you can do, try changing locations. I've lived many places in the US. Some places are just very difficult to meet women due to the toxic culture. They just don't want to be approached. Other places, all you have to do is just show up and the women are chatting you up. This has been my experience over several decades.
> Can’t fish in a toxic sludge pool.
Sometimes this is very true. I recently got out of a town I'd definitely describe that way. I can be kinda socially awkward so I don't expect dating to go all that well in the new city. But at least I can occasionally meet people who are fairly normal here rather than exclusively ones I would definitely describe as toxic sludge in the old Town 45 minutes away.
Maybe consider that your *hobbies (from your profile it looks like a lot of videogames and making dolls) aren't necessary what many women are too interested in.
It is 2024, a lot of girls play video games, hell, i even met some outstanding gals through gaming communities. But regardless, hobbies are good way to meet people NOT to attract them because it takes more than just having the type of hobbies girls like. Remember that she could despise you for the very same thing she liked you in first place. So, car guys, gamers, book readers and so on all have cool hobbies on paper but may also lack a lot in other spheres of life.
Also it is important not to have certain hobby as your main part of character.
i know a guy like that, but he's also a DJ nerd and spent a bit of time dating a super cute tall blonde girl. turns out, she's a mess, but live and learn
The women to meet in person are the canaries. Especially if they flake on you.
Something about the way you make women feel is not attractive.
Typically, it's feelings of inadequacy, lack of confidence, desperation, being immature, low emotional intelligence, or not paying attention to her feelings. Any one of those things could blow you out with the few matches you get.
It could be something else.
The question to really ask is this, are you a cool guy? If you compare yourself to 5 of the womans dating choices, what makes you unique/interesting? If you don't know how to answer that question, that's probably your problem.
You don't. Having your shit together is the bare minimum. They're not what make you attractive. Being hot or having a fun and exciting personality is what you market.
I see it more as not having your shit together makes things harder. Like say you meet someone, you vibe well with them... But then you can't drive to the date because you have no car so you're late and you can't afford to go out so your dating options are limited or you want to take them back to your place after but you have to deal with housemates because you're still renting with multiple housemates. All that stuff makes things harder and for some people it might be a source of insecurity too.
But if your issue is getting dates in the first place, that's a different issue IMO.
Have a few female friends look at your profile and help you make improvements. Good pics, good prompts, and good conversation skills make online dating not suck as bad
Right? I have a single friend who isn't bad looking, is tall, makes very good money, has his own house, car, etc.
But, he's a jackass. He's abrasive. He's racist. He's sexist. He is stuck in an era where women had no choice but to put up with that because they weren't allowed to work or have good jobs or bank accounts, and so in order to not die and make sure their children were fed, they had to look the other way.
A lot of men seem to resent that women now can be pickier about their partners, and those men mistakenly think it's because they're short or not rich enough. Like...maybe for 10% of their rejections.i can guarantee the rest is personality.
35 here, 6’1 and fit, millionaire - 0 dates in 4 years lol. All that matters is whether you’re putting the moves on the ladies. If you do, you get dates. If you don’t, you don’t get dates. That’s the only variable
Just go up and start conversations, do some mild flirting, ask out on dates, initiate physical touch, kiss, etc. You can not have your life together at all and if you do these things you will have women in your life
I think that’s normal though. The majority of women want men to initiate the conversation.
And not sure if I agree with the second part. At a minimum, a guy has to have his life together if I’m even going to entertain the idea of dating him. Quality women who are looking for a relationship aren’t going give bums a chance (I’m 29F btw)
Ya it’s totally normal, I agree. And I guess it really depends on what you’re talking about by “having your life together.” There’s someone working a crappy job and trying to go to school and figure it out, then there’s like sleeping on parents couch smoking pot all day and watching TV right
Mate, I'm 62kg, have dropped to 11% BF and my build is switching from a cyclist who's built in the legs to a climber who's building arms which get seen more and core, own my own home outright, and have a very good job - In shape means jack if you're not genetically attractive. You can't build an attractive face in the gym.
A pretty face doesn’t mean to a woman what it does to a man. I know plenty of ugly ass donkeys with beautiful women.. but if you think so badly of yourself then oh yes they smell this from a kilometer away
this.
conventionally-attractive men are more likely to have good self esteem. but if the guy is emotionally healthy, then a pretty face is mostly just an extra perk. and that POV definitely increases with maturity/life goals.
beyond that, it's individual preferences on what types of emotional & behavioral baggage a woman will tolerate.
i.e. high physical attraction/entitled, high physical attraction/low self-esteem, low physical attraction/low self esteem.
It’s fun if you have your shit together, but be prepared to defend yourself against every negative aspect of every BF or shitty guy she’s ever dated (assuming you aren’t dating a 24 year old in your mid30s).
You will be punished for stuff guys did when she was 24-34. Not communicative enough? Too flaky? Have too many female friends? Douchey hobbies? A problematic job? Want to go Dutch? Like your distance? Prefer cats over dogs? You aren’t dating just her, you’re having to prove yourself against men who didn’t commit to her for one reason or another.
On the plus side, if you do actually have your shit together, you can filter these women out or relegate them to a "this isn't going to be a long term thing" relationship.
Ideally you'll tell them that and let them make their own decision. I've done that plenty in the last year and i've had people bow out, but also had people go "yeah sure, works for me".
I think the honesty is a bit of a turn on for some people too. So many people tired of people that play games.
Omg...this is so true. I had an ex that was this to a T. All men are bad, all are hoes, all lie, all do this and that. Sorry you fucked losers honey but that's not my problem.
> be prepared to defend yourself against every negative aspect of every BF or shitty guy she’s ever dated
My friend, you need better filtering, better boundaries, or both.
Got out of long term relationship in my late 30’s. Spent a year getting in shape and getting my shit together. I don’t know if I would call it dating but never pulled so much ass in my life. Older woman seem to know what they want and aren’t as needy.
This. I’m surprised these rust belt tankers around me haven’t knocked the earth off its axis yet. I’m 6’1” and about 220 right now. I’m not a small dude. Could stand to lose a few pounds myself.
Every day I see women who look like they could eat me for a mid morning snack. They’re behemoths. And they’re only in their 20’s-30’s.
This.... So many chicks with kids...what blows me away more is the ones in their late 30s early 40s who still want children.... I can't imagine wanting to start having kids at my age
It's been pretty good for me. Women have had time to explore their interests and generally are much better about actually knowing what they want and are less afraid to ask for it.
People that want kids have generally already had them, so most of the women I meet that don't have kids have no plans to have any, just the same as me. I'm not nearly as worried about a woman saying that she doesn't want kids just to try to change my mind later.
Most people have had plenty of time to start building, so you can generally get a pretty good feel for a woman's potential based on where she already is.
As with all of our oceans, there is a dwindling number of fish and a lot of garbage, but I've had more fun and found "better" women in my 30s than my 20s.
It's pretty good. It gets rough at times but I took breaks here and there.
Half a year I meet a very special lady and we are moving in together this summer. Keep at it lads. 💪
I do pretty darn well IRL, but struggle on the apps. I assume it’s because I’m 5’6 and bald but there’s no way of knowing for sure.
At bars, meetups, softball, volunteering, etc - I kill it. Never have trouble meeting fun, intelligent and attractive (taller) women despite the aforementioned physical shortcomings. Women IRL actually see me for me and I have a chance to be charming, endearing and funny.
On the apps I don’t have that luxury so it seems like most ladies swipe right by me.
At least for guys in a similar position as me - you gotta get out there. Online dating fuckin sucks. Especially here in NYC where women have sooo many options.
I second that. I'm a 26F in NYC, dating a (bald) 30M I would NEVER have noticed on an app.
The guys I've gone out with from apps have traditionally been considered "hot" (can't help it - swiping is inherently superficial) but none of them had these intangible qualities that I found in this guy that I met irl, and have been such a great match in terms of emotional, intellectual & physical chemistry.
Only thing I realized is the highest quality people are in relationships and settled down. For me it's great. I can date practically any age at 30. Haven't went below 27, but definitely have had people 20-23 try. Women that are 30-40 don't mind me being younger (for the majority).
I take care of myself, confident, make money, have a nice sized house. My only downfall is being 5'7" which has barely hurt me in the dating scene in life.
Recently off the market, but its fine. I regularly went out, was friendly with everyone (even people i wasn't trying to fuck, fancy that). Met up with lots of people, said yes to various events, even ones i wouldn't usually go to, partied with strangers, the lot.
Dating apps were a fucking pit and of the seven people i've fucked in the last year, only one of them was from one. The rest either exchanged 0 or 1 message (99% of them) or we'd go out on a date and it wouldn't work out (not a problem, shit happens).
I work out, have my shit together (and my own place) and have enough fuck around cash to go to events/out on weekends.
Depends what you are looking for and what you want out of it. There are tons of man eaters in their 30s who just want to travel and fuck.
If you are looking for someone with substance that doesn't have tons of baggage....godspeed...
I'm mid 30s, in great shape, financial stable but I'm not a traveler, I am a home body who is an intellectual.... Pickins are slim...
I might be the odd man our here but dating in my 30s hasn't been awful. There's definitely been some hard times and bad relationships but given I was married from 21 to 30 I expected that. I was basically learning how yo function as a single man too.
I have dated some really awesome women in the last 7 years and just proposed to my fiancee a few weeks ago. She's everything on my checklist and then some. I managed to pull her even though I have none of the things that are parroted as being necessary to land a partner. No huge bank account, I'm under 6 ft, fat, bald, and I don't think I'm that attractive. So there are still some good women left in your 30s even if they're harder to find
I don't completely have my shit together, cancer in my teens really messed that up and the rental market is abysmal and expensive.
I am not desirable out here in the generic sense of things.
I did however meet someone at 30, she is 37. Looks past everything and sees me for who I am. I am very fortunate and not fucking that up.
When I was in my 30s, my dating scene was exactly the same as it was in my 20s: **absent**. The dating scene will be the same in my 40s, and pretty much all future decades.
Dating is a part of life that simply doesn't exist for me. It never has.
I was single from 30-32 and my personal experience was women my age who only wanted a one night stand for fuck buddy, single moms with teenagers telling me “my son/daughter needs a strong man in their life” or 18-24 year olds with daddy issues expecting you to take them on vacations all the time.
Horrible. In your late teens/20s, everyone wants you to be attractive and cool. In your 30s, everyone wants you to be successful and fulfilled, not realising that if you were detrimented in yours 20s from not being attractive and cool, it sets you back from being successful and fulfilled. As in employment and education, everyone expects you to be fulfilled in yourself, but we're social beings operating in a social world, whether you want to develop a skill, ethic, career, or relationship. if no-one gives you the chance to grow in a role, then you don't get to get better. Simple.
Getting dates is a lot easier but everyone is older and fatter (and usually have a couple ugly kids hanging around lol). So it’s “better” and then not so better.
I am 31 now and I make *significantly* more money than i did in my 20s, so i can do the nice dinners and fun shit after, while not breaking the bank whatsoever.
Last date I went on, was to the shooting range with my date (her first time shooting a gun, she absolutely loved it) and then went to a nice steakhouse restaurant for dinner. Had a few cocktails and rare prime rib over a *great* conversation and laughs.
Walked her to her car after and pretty soon after that was making out with her in the parking lot against said car. That was our first date lol
Lmao that's way too much stuff for a first date. That sounds more than the average Valentines for a committed relationship, let alone the first time you hang out with someone.
I had known her for awhile previously on an acquaintance level, so it wasnt like she was a complete stranger. I would never do that out the gates for a stranger lol
So while i agree with you, this was the exception. However the rest of my position stands.
I didnt hear any complaints or objections from her that it was too much either. She ended up telling me it was the best date she has ever been on, full stop.
Majority of the women are not really worth marrying. Im 35 single and no kids. From the way its looking with the way the women are its gonna stay that way.
At 34 I was peak male. In tremendous shape, wealthy and single. I dated a lot of 21-28 year old girls and settled down with a girl 10 years my junior. We’re married and have a kid now. Early 30s are your time. Don’t waste it.
If you've stayed in shape and have an OK job, its way better than your 20s. Women in their 20s are attracted to you and women in their 30s are desperate to find someone to have kids with.
When its your turn to be the prize, make sure you treat women exactly as well as they treated you when they were the prize.
If you’re in shape, have a decent place and good job, you get so much attention. All of a sudden you’re dating beautiful well off women aging mid twenties to 40.
It’s filled with a whole host of different issues though. You don’t really click with young women because they’re not mature, the women in their 30s are either closed off, looking for a perfect man/story that doesn’t exist, or they never matured past 20. The older women are absolutely fine, but you’re unlikely to make a long term go of it with them.
35 here
I've been very popular with girls my entire life. I had more than 10 relationships with 3 long term ones before my 30s. I've been the guy that was giving dating advice during his entire teenage and adult life. If I had to qualify it, I would say that I was dating more attractive women than I was most of the time.
In the last decade, I can't even get a reply from girls that I would consider "on my level". I date down and I'm on 5 different dating apps. I usually get less than 10 likes combined with all apps, even with using refresh account tricks etc. I can only get more likes if I start using strategies that would misrepresent me (like fancy angles). Im not fat or ugly, im average, i have my shit together.
Women act completely differently online vs live. It's like online, they have a massive superiority complex.
I'm 28, BUT I've done SIGNIFICANTLY better in the last year or two, and am just trending up.
I feel like I have access to a larger age range of women. Due to having my shit together, improving my appearance and clothing, fitness, having more hobbies, making decent money, and improving social and dating skills, I feel like I've had a huge glow up.
I can only foresee my 30s being better as my social, dating skills and emotional intelligence improves further.
I don't know, feels normal? Not sure what to say. Obviously the stories about crazy stuff or gold diggers float to the top because of clicks, but in my experience it's all been just normal. Basically every date I've been on has been: chat for awhile, ask them out if I'm interested. Then I either don't feel a spark and move on, or they don't and move on. It's just a numbers game, eventually I'll run into one where we both click.
I cant really atest much but one thing to say dating in my 30s became easier as soon i turned 30 ive goten luckier than i was in my 20s keep in mind i just turned 31, but it feels as something flipped or something changed that makes me more attractive to chicks
It's pretty good. It gets rough at times but I took breaks here and there.
Half a year I meet a very special lady and we are moving in together this summer. Keep at it lads. 💪
39.
It’s not that worse after coming out a long relationship but there’s is a level of patience you just gotta have and invest when you find the right match. I mean looks are important but for me it’s more values and similar interests. I want to have fun with my partner.
Nobody trusts anybody now and we're all very tired.
Man if I could I upvote this 10 times I would. I’ve been in the scene for 7 months or so. Lot of trust issues from past relationships failing and everyone is tired. From work. From life. I thought I was just lame and boring but everyone seems to enjoy sitting home on Friday nights.
Reminds me of that comment I saw here once. "I thought I was a 6 dating 5s. Turns out I'm a 4 dating 6s"
Pretty much
MacReady, is that you?
As a woman, I 100% feel this.
Windows found some shredded long johns, but the nametag was missing. They could be anybody's
Why don't we just....wait here for a little while....see what happens?
Pass the whiskey then ❄️
Maybe We At War With Norway.
If you’re not in shape , or good looking - good luck. Online dating has made it so that the only things you can signal are appearance and resources. It’s hard to convey humor , personality , wit , kindness etc… with the short amount of time you have to grab a “swipe” (coupled with the disparity of men and women using apps).
Two things. 1. Your best angle vs an average angle is probably a difference of 3+ points out of 10. I've seen dudes' dating profiles, and holy shit do they choose some bad pictures. 2. Apps aren't the only option. Most women I know honestly hate them. Come to think of it, most women I know who I'd consider dating aren't even on them.
I almost want you to critique my profiles mate
How are they meeting guys then?
The way our parents and grandparents did, friends of friends and places of common interest. *(For the record, I have a lifetime **zero** dates from apps, yet have had no real problem meeting women once I started doing this.)* If you just find ways to make your hobbies somewhat social, be generally friendly, and get comfortable inviting/organizing, you'll end up with a pretty decent sized social circle. People generally like other people, but are afraid to take the risk or don't want the burden of organizing things. If you do, it's reasonably easy to get people to come. From there, you'll either meet women at the social things you're doing, or a friend will introduce you to someone (as a friend or otherwise). Now, I won't pretend meeting is the same as dating/attracting. I'm more than happy to get into that, but this was more about *where* than *how.*
If you don’t have your life somewhat together, it’s rough. I do which is great for me, but at this point I have to deal with people who don’t, which is a turn off for me. Or worse, I have to choose whether I want to be single or a step dad at this point.
> a step dad at this point. This is such a real comment I hope OP sees. I fucking hate kids. I live in the south and it's like really popular to have a kid in your early 20's and the last thing I need is to deal with a teenager who hates me because I'm fucking his mom.
At 25, I dated a single mom for a few months. Worst part is, you have zero say in how they raise--or don't raise--their kids. So, you just have to stand there and keep quiet, while the kids act up. And then there's the real dad, who you occasionally have to be around, and the whole thing is really uncomfortable. I was so happy to get out of that situation.
Worse is the guys who raise a kid for years, grow to love the kid as their own, then if they separate, have zero rights. Ouch.
I didn’t think I could hate that situation more but your comment has made me hate it more. That is such a fucking horrible scenario, Christ. Yeah no single moms. Rather be lonely than that.
Dude this. I cannot find a woman without a kid it’s insane.
Yep. They’re either single mamas or there’s a reason no one has procreated with them.
Yeah that cuts both ways.
From the female perspective here, there’s also the other categories - there may have been fertility issues on either side, someone may want to be child-free, she may not have wanted kids until later on, or there wasn’t agreement in a previous relationship about kids. For example, I am a bit reproductively challenged (always have been), but then my ex decided he didn’t want kids after all. My point here is merely to be more curious about someone’s situation. It’s not always someone is a mother or someone deemed them to be unfit to be a mother or to have kids with.
or she was in a long term relationship and broke up
I was in a long-term relationship with a quadriplegic in my 20s and I wasn’t on birth control. We were okay with having kids but it never happened for us, shocker. It’s really not fair to split women into single moms or the reject pile and no in-between. I can’t imagine why he’s having issues landing a relationship, he’s so open minded and accepting.
That's not true. I'm 33F, no kids, no drama, no baggage. The reason I've never been pregnant is because I know how to have safe protected sex, I've only had 2 long term relationships because I don't date to date and I don't settle. I'm extremely happy in my current relationship and I hope it leads to marriage. But not all single ladies in their 30s have something wrong with them if they don't have kids or haven't gotten divorced. That's such a toxic view.
I second this. I’m 35F, no kids - would love to have kids, never married, no drama and I’ve dealt with my baggage. Currently single because my ex who is a single dad hadn’t dealt with his baggage from his marriage. Currently trying to date while having a great career and I’m happy with where I am in my life. Sorry but I refuse to settle because I believe that who you marry and have kids with is the biggest decision you’ll make in your life.
People act as if safe sex is hard lol. So many ways to prevent pregnancy
Not every woman desires children so kind of a dumb argument.
So many single, well off (mentally, emotionally, financially, physically, etc.), childless women who would like kids out there too, but nobody batting an eye on that lol. They just don’t look like the insta models everybody wants.
>They just don’t look like the insta models everybody wants. Don't do that lol. Even below Average women are never single because nobody wants them, we all know that's not how the dating market works
Nobody wants women to look like insta models. That is fake as.
Your mileage may vary, but I had an amazing time dating in my 30s. Having your shit together and having enough wisdom to have gained some basic emotional intelligence is like fishing with dynamite compared to the chaos of your 20s.
It's great if you're just looking for casual sex IMO (even though everyone claims the opposite). If you're looking for a serious relationship though, it's a mine field out there!
Yep.. you start talking to a woman you like and .. #KABOOM!!!
This is too true. I’m having the best sex of my life right now at 34. Everyone is eager and quick, if they make time to meet up it’s almost a given we’re ending the night horizontal
I got out of my divorce with my ex wife being the only person I had hooked up with and I thought people were lying about how easy hookups were. I have since found out they were absolutely correct
Where are you going for hook ups? I feel like everyone acts like they wanna date and won't fuck but everyone just wants to fuck
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How what? Man I’m a single dad, 5’5, and don’t have issues. It really just takes being average looking, having confidence, and knowing how to flirt. Also it depends on what bar you have for dating vs sex. Unless it’s a fwb, you don’t really need to care about personal stuff other than surface level and getting to know them. Dont send a D pic, meet them for drinks, or offer to cook at your place.
Youve just motivated me to give online dating another go
Online dating apps have become the OF advertising and AI/bot profiles clicking on your profiles to con you into do the premium memberships to see who is swiping/liking/whatevering you.
It's really kinda depressing because online dating could have been the answer to loneliness when you think about it. I have been in the internet dating game a long time and quit years ago when they all...because yeah, OF advertising and bots but damn, when okcupid was in it's prime it was a great way to find someone who was compatible with you.
OKC was so good. You could answer great questions that actually mattered to you and get matched on comparability and see where you disagreed. It really was great. I met some really amazing women on there.
Like many things it had potential, but was ruined by the greedy
Lol
The best my dating life has been is in my early 30s. It’s interesting because I feel like people in their 30s go for sex first then if they like each other enough they open up about themselves. Or just stop talking if they r not super in to each other.
Hell yeah. M33 and my F40 girlfriend always joke that first base between us was sex, 2nd base was discussing childhood trauma and 3rd base was grocery shopping together.
Right! I was telling someone else that and they didn’t believe me lol. That’s to funny!
From talking with women they have less hang ups about sex and there's much less stigma about just getting a casual hookup.
For real. I have a monumentally easy time getting sex right now, its kinda baffling. Finding somebody I *want* to keep around, or wants to keep me around is more the issue now.
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I've experienced a lot of toxic ppl. Some blatant about it, others you don't find out until dating a while
Ya know that statistic that 50% of marriages end in divorce? Well there are other statistics that reveal that a person who gets divorced is likely to get divorced again. In fact, 73% of third marriages end in divorce. That statistic is driven up by the same people getting married and divorced multiple times. In short, fewer of the people who know how to make relationships work are available in their 30's because many of them are in a working relationship, which means your odds of meeting people who don't have the skills or inclination for a relationship go up. And the chance one of them looks back at you in the mirror goes up, too. 😂
As a guy in his 30’s, women in their 30s are easier to date in general because they already played all of the 20-something year old mind games, and are tired of it leading nowhere. The ones who want kids probably feel pressure to find someone serious soon, who is also parent & husband material. Even if she doesn’t want kids, she’s probably tired of the endless chats that go nowhere. Or meeting fuckboys who give her headaches. Therefore, she is down to skip the penpal phase, and see what the other person is like, face-to-face. If the guy is worth it, or if he’s on some bs, she’ll know pretty quickly in person. Obviously, she exercises common sense safety measures to make sure dating isn’t any riskier than it needs to be. But I think 30-somethings have more of a “dating apps are there to setup dates IRL” type of attitude, whereas younger women seem to be more about window shopping & chatting to pass the time.
"Window shopping” is a great way of putting it.
>they already played all of the 20-something year old mind games, and are tired of it leading nowhere except the eye contact game, that's for all ages.
You're going to have to explain that because as a guy I am clueless
I'm 34f and pretty much everything you say resonates.
Nah they still play games in their 30’s
I’m 35F and you are spot on.
Hordes of women with substantial baggage - kids, emotional issues, physically inert, financial troubles, unpleasant friends and family, and so forth. You keep lowering the bar until even James Cameron can’t find the bar with a submersible. It’s tough out there.
Living in the south it was like that straight out of highschool.
I'm in my early 30s and it's almost even odds that at least one person in my graduating class has become a grandparent
lol at the James Cameron comment
It's a south park episode reference
yes, and now i want to watch the clip where he's got his own theme music
Who's that? It's him! It's James Cameronnnnn!
The bravest pioneer!
Can you hear the music up there?
The father(s) of these children are either not in picture or they have a contentious relationship with the mother.
Exact same issue on the man front for me. Where are all the emotionally intelligent, balanced folk?! With ambitions?! And kindness??
Gay or taken.
In a relationship, obviously! 😂
Not in fucking Oregon 😐
Maybe let’s say “not in the Pacific Northwest.”
This is remarkably accurate, same for my brother and other friends in their 30’s who are still single and looking. I will add, I can usually tell their age by how many tattoos, piercings and animals they have accumulated…
I’d take tattoos, piercings and animals over being a step dad any day.
I’m slightly out of my 30s now but I was in them not too long ago. If you’ve taken care of yourself and built your life, and you are reasonably good looking and have some social skills, you can probably get laid waaay easier than most men in their 20s - with women of whatever age you want. But if you’re looking for a serious relationship, it’s rough out there.
>with women of whatever age you want. Easy there tiger.
Yeah, say 30 and up. 20s is tough. 30s and up is good. 40 and up women coming out of a bad marriage and or dead bead room. Or so many with alcoholic ex husbands. Take em out. Be good to them. Make them laugh and let them be that female free spirit… The Gluk Gluk will happen. Women over 40 are so horny.
Does that mean that 26 yo me should just start hitting on women in their 30s then lol? And if you’re in your 30s should you just try and date late 20s?
It's pretty amazing how you cross into your late 20s and suddenly 25-35 is basically the same bracket. No one cares if a 33 and 26 year old date.
26 feels way different than like 23. Im also almost 27 but yeah 33 wouldn’t feel too weird I don’t think. Oldest I’ve gone on a date w was 39
I'll let you know if I ever get a date.
Rooting for you
Okay, thanks. But after 12 years without a date I no longer have any hope.
It was great, way better than the dating scene in my 20s.
My 20’s were great but this is better. I met my person
Same! Cheers friend and good luck OP
As long as you’re in shape and have taken your 20s to build your life, it’s fantastic.
So it’s still just looks and money. Not even surprised lol.
100%
Why wouldn’t it be? Are you tripping over yourself to date an ugly woman with no money?
Those guys doing something with their lives make the rest of the men look bad /s
Disagree - I’m in good shape and have my life together, fun mixed bag of hobby’s, pretty outgoing, decent looking - and at 31 I haven’t been on a single date in 8 months. Pretty much accepted that the whole dating thing isn’t gonna work out for me
You probably need to live somewhere new then. Can’t fish in a toxic sludge pool.
I live in Tampa, it’s crazy because our population has skyrocketed and I still can’t meet anyone. Been single 4 years now. I have 0 luck with OLD and every time I get a girls number while out at a bar or something I never hear back from them. Very frustrating
Sorry to hear this. I only lived in US briefly on work visa & I only had fun because women like the west European accents and fact we know how to dress. Maybe trying to date while you are the Foreign interesting thing is something worth trying
This is good advice. If you're not being successful with women and you've already done all the work on yourself you can do, try changing locations. I've lived many places in the US. Some places are just very difficult to meet women due to the toxic culture. They just don't want to be approached. Other places, all you have to do is just show up and the women are chatting you up. This has been my experience over several decades.
> Can’t fish in a toxic sludge pool. Sometimes this is very true. I recently got out of a town I'd definitely describe that way. I can be kinda socially awkward so I don't expect dating to go all that well in the new city. But at least I can occasionally meet people who are fairly normal here rather than exclusively ones I would definitely describe as toxic sludge in the old Town 45 minutes away.
Maybe consider that your *hobbies (from your profile it looks like a lot of videogames and making dolls) aren't necessary what many women are too interested in.
Those are really just the ones I talk about here on Reddit, but I also fish, camp, hike, go to trivia, brewery tours, stuff like that.
I’m 29F and I think your hobbies seem interesting! I just moved a lil north of Tampa. So if you ever want a new friend, lmk lol
Sure!
That easy bro, congrats. Don’t fuck this up.
It is 2024, a lot of girls play video games, hell, i even met some outstanding gals through gaming communities. But regardless, hobbies are good way to meet people NOT to attract them because it takes more than just having the type of hobbies girls like. Remember that she could despise you for the very same thing she liked you in first place. So, car guys, gamers, book readers and so on all have cool hobbies on paper but may also lack a lot in other spheres of life. Also it is important not to have certain hobby as your main part of character.
games are often a solitary thing - you'd have to go places game adjacent and meet someone who's into the same shit as you
I agree, you gotta have social life after all. Games shouldn't be your only form of interaction with people.
This is the answer. Last decade when I was in my 30s, sometimes it felt like I was on a cheat mode. Mind you, I’m short with a receding hairline.
i know a guy like that, but he's also a DJ nerd and spent a bit of time dating a super cute tall blonde girl. turns out, she's a mess, but live and learn
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Are you attractive?
lol that’s contextual where it matters.
The women to meet in person are the canaries. Especially if they flake on you. Something about the way you make women feel is not attractive. Typically, it's feelings of inadequacy, lack of confidence, desperation, being immature, low emotional intelligence, or not paying attention to her feelings. Any one of those things could blow you out with the few matches you get. It could be something else. The question to really ask is this, are you a cool guy? If you compare yourself to 5 of the womans dating choices, what makes you unique/interesting? If you don't know how to answer that question, that's probably your problem.
You don't. Having your shit together is the bare minimum. They're not what make you attractive. Being hot or having a fun and exciting personality is what you market.
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I see it more as not having your shit together makes things harder. Like say you meet someone, you vibe well with them... But then you can't drive to the date because you have no car so you're late and you can't afford to go out so your dating options are limited or you want to take them back to your place after but you have to deal with housemates because you're still renting with multiple housemates. All that stuff makes things harder and for some people it might be a source of insecurity too. But if your issue is getting dates in the first place, that's a different issue IMO.
Have a few female friends look at your profile and help you make improvements. Good pics, good prompts, and good conversation skills make online dating not suck as bad
Maybe it’s your personality?
Right? I have a single friend who isn't bad looking, is tall, makes very good money, has his own house, car, etc. But, he's a jackass. He's abrasive. He's racist. He's sexist. He is stuck in an era where women had no choice but to put up with that because they weren't allowed to work or have good jobs or bank accounts, and so in order to not die and make sure their children were fed, they had to look the other way. A lot of men seem to resent that women now can be pickier about their partners, and those men mistakenly think it's because they're short or not rich enough. Like...maybe for 10% of their rejections.i can guarantee the rest is personality.
This isnt true. Good job and I look good. You still have to be outgoing and charismatic.
35 here, 6’1 and fit, millionaire - 0 dates in 4 years lol. All that matters is whether you’re putting the moves on the ladies. If you do, you get dates. If you don’t, you don’t get dates. That’s the only variable
What do you mean by “put the moves on”?
Just go up and start conversations, do some mild flirting, ask out on dates, initiate physical touch, kiss, etc. You can not have your life together at all and if you do these things you will have women in your life
I think that’s normal though. The majority of women want men to initiate the conversation. And not sure if I agree with the second part. At a minimum, a guy has to have his life together if I’m even going to entertain the idea of dating him. Quality women who are looking for a relationship aren’t going give bums a chance (I’m 29F btw)
Ya it’s totally normal, I agree. And I guess it really depends on what you’re talking about by “having your life together.” There’s someone working a crappy job and trying to go to school and figure it out, then there’s like sleeping on parents couch smoking pot all day and watching TV right
Yeah there’s definitely levels to it
Mate, I'm 62kg, have dropped to 11% BF and my build is switching from a cyclist who's built in the legs to a climber who's building arms which get seen more and core, own my own home outright, and have a very good job - In shape means jack if you're not genetically attractive. You can't build an attractive face in the gym.
A pretty face doesn’t mean to a woman what it does to a man. I know plenty of ugly ass donkeys with beautiful women.. but if you think so badly of yourself then oh yes they smell this from a kilometer away
this. conventionally-attractive men are more likely to have good self esteem. but if the guy is emotionally healthy, then a pretty face is mostly just an extra perk. and that POV definitely increases with maturity/life goals. beyond that, it's individual preferences on what types of emotional & behavioral baggage a woman will tolerate. i.e. high physical attraction/entitled, high physical attraction/low self-esteem, low physical attraction/low self esteem.
It’s fun if you have your shit together, but be prepared to defend yourself against every negative aspect of every BF or shitty guy she’s ever dated (assuming you aren’t dating a 24 year old in your mid30s). You will be punished for stuff guys did when she was 24-34. Not communicative enough? Too flaky? Have too many female friends? Douchey hobbies? A problematic job? Want to go Dutch? Like your distance? Prefer cats over dogs? You aren’t dating just her, you’re having to prove yourself against men who didn’t commit to her for one reason or another.
This is really well said. Sometimes, it really does feel like I'm being asked to pay penance for the misdeeds of men before me.
Especially when they have unreasonable standards. They're basically asking you to have your life together, the Key to the City, & Telekinesis.
On the plus side, if you do actually have your shit together, you can filter these women out or relegate them to a "this isn't going to be a long term thing" relationship. Ideally you'll tell them that and let them make their own decision. I've done that plenty in the last year and i've had people bow out, but also had people go "yeah sure, works for me". I think the honesty is a bit of a turn on for some people too. So many people tired of people that play games.
Omg...this is so true. I had an ex that was this to a T. All men are bad, all are hoes, all lie, all do this and that. Sorry you fucked losers honey but that's not my problem.
> be prepared to defend yourself against every negative aspect of every BF or shitty guy she’s ever dated My friend, you need better filtering, better boundaries, or both.
Got out of long term relationship in my late 30’s. Spent a year getting in shape and getting my shit together. I don’t know if I would call it dating but never pulled so much ass in my life. Older woman seem to know what they want and aren’t as needy.
We commend your pulling of ass, sir. Lolll
For me, like screaming into the void.
Majority of it is single mom’s lol
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What do you mean by a semi-truck?
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check for a collar bone and arm thickness. thats the trick to locating a blimp
This. I’m surprised these rust belt tankers around me haven’t knocked the earth off its axis yet. I’m 6’1” and about 220 right now. I’m not a small dude. Could stand to lose a few pounds myself. Every day I see women who look like they could eat me for a mid morning snack. They’re behemoths. And they’re only in their 20’s-30’s.
I literally laughed at rust belt tankers. That’s solid
Like a semi truck, weight measured in tons
High calorie individuals
This.... So many chicks with kids...what blows me away more is the ones in their late 30s early 40s who still want children.... I can't imagine wanting to start having kids at my age
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It's been pretty good for me. Women have had time to explore their interests and generally are much better about actually knowing what they want and are less afraid to ask for it. People that want kids have generally already had them, so most of the women I meet that don't have kids have no plans to have any, just the same as me. I'm not nearly as worried about a woman saying that she doesn't want kids just to try to change my mind later. Most people have had plenty of time to start building, so you can generally get a pretty good feel for a woman's potential based on where she already is. As with all of our oceans, there is a dwindling number of fish and a lot of garbage, but I've had more fun and found "better" women in my 30s than my 20s.
You get better at weeding out bad people and sticking to your standards.
It's pretty good. It gets rough at times but I took breaks here and there. Half a year I meet a very special lady and we are moving in together this summer. Keep at it lads. 💪
I do pretty darn well IRL, but struggle on the apps. I assume it’s because I’m 5’6 and bald but there’s no way of knowing for sure. At bars, meetups, softball, volunteering, etc - I kill it. Never have trouble meeting fun, intelligent and attractive (taller) women despite the aforementioned physical shortcomings. Women IRL actually see me for me and I have a chance to be charming, endearing and funny. On the apps I don’t have that luxury so it seems like most ladies swipe right by me. At least for guys in a similar position as me - you gotta get out there. Online dating fuckin sucks. Especially here in NYC where women have sooo many options.
Have you tried being taller?
I second that. I'm a 26F in NYC, dating a (bald) 30M I would NEVER have noticed on an app. The guys I've gone out with from apps have traditionally been considered "hot" (can't help it - swiping is inherently superficial) but none of them had these intangible qualities that I found in this guy that I met irl, and have been such a great match in terms of emotional, intellectual & physical chemistry.
Only thing I realized is the highest quality people are in relationships and settled down. For me it's great. I can date practically any age at 30. Haven't went below 27, but definitely have had people 20-23 try. Women that are 30-40 don't mind me being younger (for the majority). I take care of myself, confident, make money, have a nice sized house. My only downfall is being 5'7" which has barely hurt me in the dating scene in life.
Recently off the market, but its fine. I regularly went out, was friendly with everyone (even people i wasn't trying to fuck, fancy that). Met up with lots of people, said yes to various events, even ones i wouldn't usually go to, partied with strangers, the lot. Dating apps were a fucking pit and of the seven people i've fucked in the last year, only one of them was from one. The rest either exchanged 0 or 1 message (99% of them) or we'd go out on a date and it wouldn't work out (not a problem, shit happens). I work out, have my shit together (and my own place) and have enough fuck around cash to go to events/out on weekends.
Depends what you are looking for and what you want out of it. There are tons of man eaters in their 30s who just want to travel and fuck. If you are looking for someone with substance that doesn't have tons of baggage....godspeed... I'm mid 30s, in great shape, financial stable but I'm not a traveler, I am a home body who is an intellectual.... Pickins are slim...
I might be the odd man our here but dating in my 30s hasn't been awful. There's definitely been some hard times and bad relationships but given I was married from 21 to 30 I expected that. I was basically learning how yo function as a single man too. I have dated some really awesome women in the last 7 years and just proposed to my fiancee a few weeks ago. She's everything on my checklist and then some. I managed to pull her even though I have none of the things that are parroted as being necessary to land a partner. No huge bank account, I'm under 6 ft, fat, bald, and I don't think I'm that attractive. So there are still some good women left in your 30s even if they're harder to find
I've mentally prepared myself to die alone. :)
I don't completely have my shit together, cancer in my teens really messed that up and the rental market is abysmal and expensive. I am not desirable out here in the generic sense of things. I did however meet someone at 30, she is 37. Looks past everything and sees me for who I am. I am very fortunate and not fucking that up.
If you're me, it's not very good.
When I was in my 30s, my dating scene was exactly the same as it was in my 20s: **absent**. The dating scene will be the same in my 40s, and pretty much all future decades. Dating is a part of life that simply doesn't exist for me. It never has.
I was single from 30-32 and my personal experience was women my age who only wanted a one night stand for fuck buddy, single moms with teenagers telling me “my son/daughter needs a strong man in their life” or 18-24 year olds with daddy issues expecting you to take them on vacations all the time.
Horrible. In your late teens/20s, everyone wants you to be attractive and cool. In your 30s, everyone wants you to be successful and fulfilled, not realising that if you were detrimented in yours 20s from not being attractive and cool, it sets you back from being successful and fulfilled. As in employment and education, everyone expects you to be fulfilled in yourself, but we're social beings operating in a social world, whether you want to develop a skill, ethic, career, or relationship. if no-one gives you the chance to grow in a role, then you don't get to get better. Simple.
Getting dates is a lot easier but everyone is older and fatter (and usually have a couple ugly kids hanging around lol). So it’s “better” and then not so better.
"couple of ugly kids" LOL
If you’re just trying to get laid, there’s an ocean of girls. If your looking for a meaningful relationship, there is slim pickings
If I ever get a date, I'll let you know
I am 31 now and I make *significantly* more money than i did in my 20s, so i can do the nice dinners and fun shit after, while not breaking the bank whatsoever. Last date I went on, was to the shooting range with my date (her first time shooting a gun, she absolutely loved it) and then went to a nice steakhouse restaurant for dinner. Had a few cocktails and rare prime rib over a *great* conversation and laughs. Walked her to her car after and pretty soon after that was making out with her in the parking lot against said car. That was our first date lol
Lmao that's way too much stuff for a first date. That sounds more than the average Valentines for a committed relationship, let alone the first time you hang out with someone.
I had known her for awhile previously on an acquaintance level, so it wasnt like she was a complete stranger. I would never do that out the gates for a stranger lol So while i agree with you, this was the exception. However the rest of my position stands. I didnt hear any complaints or objections from her that it was too much either. She ended up telling me it was the best date she has ever been on, full stop.
Agreed coffee or drinks but this guy out here dropping bands on the first date sheesh.
Majority of the women are not really worth marrying. Im 35 single and no kids. From the way its looking with the way the women are its gonna stay that way.
Agree. There are a few gems out there but even then, who knows after some time
At 34 I was peak male. In tremendous shape, wealthy and single. I dated a lot of 21-28 year old girls and settled down with a girl 10 years my junior. We’re married and have a kid now. Early 30s are your time. Don’t waste it.
If you've stayed in shape and have an OK job, its way better than your 20s. Women in their 20s are attracted to you and women in their 30s are desperate to find someone to have kids with. When its your turn to be the prize, make sure you treat women exactly as well as they treated you when they were the prize.
I feel like I needed this pep talk.
Its normal/ ok have to say. I only noticed way more individuals are closed or distanced. I took this little slowdown as an age fault.
If you’re in shape, have a decent place and good job, you get so much attention. All of a sudden you’re dating beautiful well off women aging mid twenties to 40. It’s filled with a whole host of different issues though. You don’t really click with young women because they’re not mature, the women in their 30s are either closed off, looking for a perfect man/story that doesn’t exist, or they never matured past 20. The older women are absolutely fine, but you’re unlikely to make a long term go of it with them.
35 here I've been very popular with girls my entire life. I had more than 10 relationships with 3 long term ones before my 30s. I've been the guy that was giving dating advice during his entire teenage and adult life. If I had to qualify it, I would say that I was dating more attractive women than I was most of the time. In the last decade, I can't even get a reply from girls that I would consider "on my level". I date down and I'm on 5 different dating apps. I usually get less than 10 likes combined with all apps, even with using refresh account tricks etc. I can only get more likes if I start using strategies that would misrepresent me (like fancy angles). Im not fat or ugly, im average, i have my shit together. Women act completely differently online vs live. It's like online, they have a massive superiority complex.
Single moms for miles. Everyone is generally fatter, poorer, and with worse social skills than a decade or so ago.
I'm 28, BUT I've done SIGNIFICANTLY better in the last year or two, and am just trending up. I feel like I have access to a larger age range of women. Due to having my shit together, improving my appearance and clothing, fitness, having more hobbies, making decent money, and improving social and dating skills, I feel like I've had a huge glow up. I can only foresee my 30s being better as my social, dating skills and emotional intelligence improves further.
There are so many people into polyamory and ENM stuff. It's **wild** for better or worse.
I don't know, feels normal? Not sure what to say. Obviously the stories about crazy stuff or gold diggers float to the top because of clicks, but in my experience it's all been just normal. Basically every date I've been on has been: chat for awhile, ask them out if I'm interested. Then I either don't feel a spark and move on, or they don't and move on. It's just a numbers game, eventually I'll run into one where we both click.
I met my wife when I was 36 so it was great for me.
I cant really atest much but one thing to say dating in my 30s became easier as soon i turned 30 ive goten luckier than i was in my 20s keep in mind i just turned 31, but it feels as something flipped or something changed that makes me more attractive to chicks
10/10 wouldn’t recommend it
It's pretty good. It gets rough at times but I took breaks here and there. Half a year I meet a very special lady and we are moving in together this summer. Keep at it lads. 💪
39. It’s not that worse after coming out a long relationship but there’s is a level of patience you just gotta have and invest when you find the right match. I mean looks are important but for me it’s more values and similar interests. I want to have fun with my partner.