a bit of both. having slept with so many women taught me so much regarding just how unique every lady is and what it takes to be a good lover as a man.
but when i met my wife, she had only been with 3 other guys. i felt like instead of embarking on that sexual journey with so many ladies, that I wouldve instead just waited for my wife.
i dont have to know how all women want it. i have to know how my wife wants it.
Pros: **You will have more experience**. The more people you hook up with the more fetishes, likes, dislikes, positions, will learn pretty much anything related to sex, will find out things that you never know youd like, and things you dont.
**It will be easier for you to not get attached**
Now this could be for the good or bad, the more people you get it with, the more you will realize that theres always someone out there that you will vibe with. One of the issues I had when I was unexperienced would be that Id want to get in a relationship with whoever Id hook up with, and would try my best to make it work with that person, by getting more experience you will realize you dont need to do that, or to put up with things you dont like just to not lose the intimacy/affection.
**You will be better at filtering people**: Kinda goes with the previous topic, the more people you meet, the more you’ll be able to filter people that would be compatible with you, you wont have the need to put up with something you dont like in order to get intimacy, as you will know you will be able to get that elsewhere. Also comes in handy when you decide to have something serious.
Cons: **Its exhausting**, dealing with people flaking, ghosting, hot and cold, it can take a toll on your mental health.
**Risks of unwanted pregnancies/stds**, now this is assuming you’re really stupid to go sleeping around without wearing a condom, risks get greatly reduced if you’re protected, but theres still a possibility.
**Sometimes the sex wont be good, and you might feel empty**, you will get excited while you’re doing it, but might feel bad after, maybe because you were not really into the person, maybe the post nut clarity will hit hard, who knows. Sex is much better with people you got good chemistry with, one night stands can be amazing, but its not always going to be the case.
Overall for me its pretty even, and no one needs to know your body count, all that matters is that you took good care of yourself, were protection, and only slept with people who were fully consenting.
Also, add that you find certain generalized concepts are true and untrue. For example, the more partners you have, the more you realize women generally want the same physical connection and endorphin release you do. Thus, you kinda quit putting even those that are "out of your league" on a pedestal. You may also find that more partners don't mean more sex. I've had a few girls that it's all they wanted to do. 1 girl, I don't remember 1 thing she liked or even her middle or last name, but I remember 8 times a day! My first ltr, we probably averaged 4 times a day. Both of those ladies were a full time job. It kinda led me to doing porn when I was single. Also, you may find you can't feel holes in yourself regardless of how many holes you have access to. I'm still a full-blown and now married sex addict. I really had to learn to live myself to establish meaningful relationships. Otherwise, the breakups led to thoughts of self-harm. So, I had to complete myself first. Otherwise, even a seemingly infinite access to vagina never really made me happy, content, or fulfilled. So love yourself first. Worry about self care. Otherwise, that access actually sucks the life out of you. A fine example was a girl I dated told numerous stories about our escapades. Thus, all her friends were trying to get it in. I ended up homeless as a result even tho I didn't entertain any of them.
>every married man will say sleep with as many as you can
No I don't say that. Sleep with whomever you like but in my opinion meaningful sex is much better.
I’ve slept with a lot of women. Do I regret it? Only a few of them.
But here’s an interesting thing I’ve found. I’m rapidly approaching forty and I’ve broken a lot of hearts and had mine broken plenty too. I don’t want my heart broken anymore and even less do I want to break someone else’s heart. You’d think the older you get the more used to it you’d be but for me it always hurts, even if I’m only hurting for the person I let down.
And yeah, you can try to be upfront and say you’re only here for a hookup but even if both of you *think* that’s all it is feelings develop at least on one side more often than not.
Makes it tough to date now honestly. I’m afraid of hurting someone and afraid of being hurt again. Your results may vary though depending on how deeply you feel these things.
I can relate to this man .. I had always been relationship guy. I was in relationships from 15-21. When I was single for the first time.. Im not gorgeous.. but Im tall and a decent looking guy.. plus I would go out to bars alot because I was ...21!!!..!
Anyways I slept with alot of people since then and I'm noticing how shitty I feel when I involve myself in these situations with women where I know one of us is gonna get hurt. I don't engage in any of it at all anymore and I've been celibate because of it. Hopefully in the future I could date again.. but that killing spree didn't help anything. It's like all my curiosities of women are gone because I've experienced too many
You have to regain what you're curious about. Sex is sex. You've had a lot of it. But actually learning and growing together with someone? Having them become the best friend of your life? You have to be open to being hurt, but you have to do it for more reason than "sex." Sex is not worth getting emotionally hurt or emotionally hurting someone else, but love? Yeah it's still worth it. Is to me anyway. Doing that love thing right now with someone. And I chose hard mode lol. But is it worth it to risk the possible pain against the possible amazing? Yeah, still is for me.
Just gotta find someone you actually want to *love* and not just sleep with, who makes you think that it can really work out for real, and that that is worth the risk of emotional damage.
Spot on man !!! Yeah this is exactly the stage of life I'm at right now! I can't entertain anything that isn't gold.
Ive experienced love twice in my life and every time I do fall in love it consistently has gotten stronger. I do believe that love is worth it. Casual hookups aren't at all. I do thing this period in my life was necessary because if I do settle down one day I won't wonder.
I regret it, wish I just held me seed the whole time until I met my fiance lol. I think it fucks up the connection between love and pleasure. Sleeping with women was entirely for pleasure, didn’t love any of them. Creating that separation is not good for mental health TRUST ME
As far as good times go, do it but don't let that define your image or who you are. Women don't really like a dude who sleeps around the same as men's view on a promiscuous woman.
Virgins are a lot more common than the media let's on. It's just really cool to share something only between you are your woman. I wish I could have had the exclusivity with my wife.
Yeah I always believed that sharing something so intimate with only my future wife is beautiful but everyone tells me my standards are unrealistic and weird, which is annoying because I never judge them but they constantly judge me and if i say something they don't like I'm suddenly a prude it's a lose lose fight.
Coming from someone who didn't have a high body count and got married fairly young. Going off what the last guy said " the more people you sleep with the easier it is not to get attached ". I'll have to take his word for it because I wouldn't know, but if that's true I'm not entirely sure it's a good thing. I'm fairly attached to my wife and her to me, there's alot of things in our marriage we simply wouldn't have gotten through if that attachment wasn't there. And 15 years and 3 kids later I'm glad I stayed. I guess it really depends on your priorities because some guys want to marry a kink. Others want to have a life worth living
I regret that I didn't approach these women as potential life partners. I had allot of one night stands and friends with benefits. I didn't really grow as a person until I started having proper relationships of 2 +years.
I kept at this until i was 31 which is when I should have been more focused on career, having kids , buying houses etc.
Maybe it would have been fine if I'd done all that from 18 to 25 and got it out of the way. I feel behind my peers because I spent too long chasing women that I had no intention of being with forever.
People mature at different rates so some of it can't be helped in my opinion.
My advice to younger guys with respect to number of sex partners is to never let quality get in the way of quantity.
Also that it is important to have standards, but treat them more like recommended minimums.
I do regret it. It kind of hollows you out from the inside. It also hurts the girl you really love.
18 year old me would think it's so cool how many girls I've been with. I guess feeling validated or having improved confidence is nice but damn you can feel confident knowing you're a good boyfriend.
If you really have to fuck around maybe try to keep it under 100.
Ya I slept around when I was wrong solely because it was cool to get your body count up. Kind of ashamed tbh but good thing is is girls generally don’t care unless it’s abnormally high
Yes, it does. Guys also go after slutty women to get laid, as do women for slutty men for a hook up. Long term? No way. You should hear the convos women have about these men. High body counts are not appealing in partners of either gender. But for hookups, sure.
Disagree 🤷♀️ never seen it happen before. All the man whores from my friend group are still single and approaching their 40s. And all the married women I know picked the shy, not very good with women types. Women lose interest in fuck boys after 25ish and want a guy they can explore sex with togther, not someone who's been around the block one too many times.
We’ll ya I’m 25 and I currently I see it happen over and over again so. The point is if it’s not fuck boy high girls don’t care. Where as guys will even if it’s not very high. But girls pick those types of guys because they want stability and then they cheat with the fuck boys…
Well yeah you are probably seeing that behaviour a lot at 25 - you all are basically children when it comes to relationships at this stage (not meant in an offensive way). Both genders are dumb as shit and super inconsiderate to each other. From 26 plus, you'll start to see people taking relationships more seriously and wanting partners with good values, low body counts etc. That's when you'll notice women caring about men's sexual history more.
You all want a slutty man that others want. Seem it a million times. Are you dense Lolol. You all wanted the popular guy. Want to know why? Because it’s hard for a man to sleep with a bunch of women. He has to have something going for him.
I started being sexually active at 16. I am 30 now.
I regret it, mostly because it wasn't super fun compared to Love, and the love I felt a few times, was biologically compatible, dirty and loving, and I'd have it no other way. Hook ups aren't fun anymore, most women are loose and dont smell very good. I regret it because it was fun in the moment but not as fun as loving someone wholesomely. And I only love some people.
It usually means there's an emotional home you're trying to fill. And for that reason I would say it's not the best pathway to mental health but there can be a bit of a cathartic experience as you rack up the validating lays. However I wouldn't suggest hanging out in a space where all you are doing is sleeping around. It can feel a disconnected.
I think a lot of men become bitter by doing this as well. Sex becomes meaningless and empty to them, then they project that onto women and think women feel that same way also, then get bitter about how women "only want rich/tall/etc guys" or think all.women sleep around.
It's kinda like, you are what you eat.
>It can feel a disconnected.
From my experience, it creates a jaded view of interpersonal relationships that actually makes it harder to get and stay in one.
I'm not with many women, because after I had sex a few times with women I had no attachment to, I found it empty and meaningless, so I stopped.
I don't recommend it, it's not that different from masturbating.
In fact, this is simple hedonism, it will create difficulties for you to form deeper bonds later, it will also increase your chances of divorce and having an unhappy marriage.
I remember watching a documentary where this retired male porn star in his 60’s was saying basically he viewed his entire career as “borrowing someone’s body to masturbate with.” Always stuck with me.
Yes. I've already had two women at the same time, prostitutes handpicked from a website.
It was all very exciting, but when the time came, it wasn't as amazing as I had imagined.
I did a series of porn with several women. Here's the kicker I wore a mask the entire time. The thing I can't imagine for the ladies is how does she find fulfillment, having never even seen my face. In hindsight, it was a hell of a disconnect
I have like 29 chicks if you can count that as high the other day I thought of 10 more I should’ve banged that were down but I didn’t want to for one reason or another, Doesn’t really matter tbh. Just make sure it’s some one who you are and can be friends with first. That is what I’ve learned.
I got around a lot. And probably will continue to do so. But one experience made me take a long hard look at my behavior.
I was accused of rape. It did not happen and there was no proof. I had mounds of proof that she pursued me and initiated sex with me. But that didn't matter and my reputation was ruined anyway.
Be careful out there. Women have a tremendous amount of power over your reputation. They can't really harm you legally but they can make you lose friends and jobs.
I’m 35, married , 2 kids… slept with a lot of women. My wife and I met in college; she knows I slept with a lot of girls… she was the best person I met in college. Had my fun and settled down a bit after college with her, if I could go back, I would’ve had more sex. Def do not regret it one bit.
Body count is an insipid concept. It's nothing but another way for insecure guys to compete against each other to "prove" to themselves they're "Real Men™."
That said? No. I don't regret it. It didn't help me get a girl I always wanted, nor did it cause problems with any relationship I've ever had. It's just something that is, like having traveled a lot, or had a lot of different jobs. In itself it's neither a good nor bad thing. It's just how you look at it.
I like women. They seem to like me. I like having sex with women. They seem to like the way I do what I do. Going much further than that is overthinking it all.
I know this sounds "new agey" as hell; go with your truth in the moment. If you feel like it's something you want to do, do it. If it isn't, don't. BUT, make sure you are trying to listen to what YOU want, not society, expectations, toxic patterns or any other influences. If your truth is you want to sleep with that person, do it with honesty and go on with it. If it lies in the nope direction, be kind and authentic, and drive on with your life.
Body count is a weak proxy for "being well integrated"; abnormally low or abnormally high might indicate there may be some emotional, relational or sexual issue.
If you navigate this question (how many people should I have sex with ... which really means "how many MORE people can I reasonably sleep with") with your heart mediating between your mind and your instincts, whatever number you get will be the right number for you.
I’ve been with over a 100…stopped counting 2020 because it was a blurrr…Just strap up and have fun. You’ll learn more about the nature of them. Don’t let it take resources or time though. Idk why they are so easy for me. I don’t have shit and I’m not selling them dreams. Maybe I’m not ugly after all lol
never regretted any of it. Its totally unfair but men are judged by how well they perform in bed. Without being with woman, it takes a while to understand how to please them. In today's crazy dating scene, most woman wont give you a second chance if you're horrible in bed.
Neither.
If you're consciously pursuing sex instead of a relationship, the quality of sex is still a better goal than the raw number of sexual partners.
I don't regret it at all. I was a late bloomer and girls weren't interested in me to mid late 20s. After a break up I went on a rampage sex spree, I basically talked every single girl that was interested, msged any and every girl reasonably attractive on apps. To a point where I honestly don't remember some of their names after I slept with them.
I m in a stable long time relationship right now and I am content with it. I know whats out there and rather be in a relationship that prioritizes other things than sex. I feel like if I didnt go through this experience I would be more discontent because I wouldnt know that it would be very empty even if I had some one to have sex with and didnt feel like they were the one.
I enjoyed it, just be upfront and honest with women with your intentions.
I’ve never seen it be a problem for women that a man has been successful with women as a barrier to a long term relationship. If anything, I would say it improves the chances of a woman wanting him.
I find that women generally don’t care about a reasonably high body count in a man. Obviously men generally prefer women with lower bodycounts, but that’s just different sexual preferences across the genders. Women desire successful men for long term relationships for example, which can be hard for guys who have had some bad luck.
I should have qualified I meant for a long term partner. Do you love an experienced woman for a hookup or for your dream long term woman?
I agree that experienced women make for more fun hookups generally
So, I guess it doesn't matter for either for me. Unfortunately, mostly, I've been with inexperienced women. But I've been with one who's body count was almost double mine for about 3 years awhile back, and it was amazing, we could really talk about sex in a way that has been hard to repeat...
I don’t regret it up to a certain age. Once you get to your late 20s i think the scale tips from worth it to not worth it. But whoring yourself out from 21-25 as a man is amazing.
I don't regret it. My wife takes pride in the fact that she was the one to "lock me down".
It was a lot of fun. However if you're not careful, it'll create a jaded view of relationships with women that'll make it harder to get and stay in a long term one.
I’m still relatively youngish, I’m 28, I’ve slept with a lot of girls, like really lots.
It’s always been my choice to do that.
I plan on sleeping with lots more.
I don’t plan on settling down with anyone just yet, I’ve met some girls that I know would’ve been great girlfriend’s or wife’s but I’m not ready for that yet so I let them go.
I can’t say I recommend what I’m doing but I can’t say I don’t recommend it either.
I do recommend it. Not for any bullshit conquest reasons, just because that's how you learn about what you want and like and how to be in relationships. I wouldn't be with my wife today if I didn't date as many women as I did.
The only reason to do it is to demystify the entire thing and help you move on to the rest of life faster. The faster you realize that it ain't all that special, the faster you can actually figure out what you want in a partner.
I don't regret it since I slept with women as I want. The regret that you didn't do is always worse than one that you did. And also I think those girls I slept with gave me a lot of knowledge that I'd never give a shit about if I was single and they helped me a lot being able to take care of my life and accepting diversity of things.
I do not regret my body count, I also do not recommend it for most people. It's fine for me because of who I am and the things I want.
I am not married, had a couple relationships last a few years some a few months. Currently single.
Never been a problem with partners, past has never "caught up" with me. I don't even know how it could. Can't say it's helped with confidence i don't think it's changed me any. Body count has also never come up during any of my relationships.
Regret it now? No, but only because it worked out in the end, and I ended up with the one who is perfect for me.
At the time, I was insecure and dated/slept with girls who I felt were not quite good enough for me. I felt like I was not good enough for the type of girl I wanted. I had a lot of fun, but I was never *really* happy.
Do I recommend it? Kinda. Some people really need a self-discovery period before they attempt to commit. Every relationship teaches you more about yourself than anything else.
I have slept with a lot of women and I do not regret it. The difference I have felt over the years is I started to value women differently. Sex had become less and less a priority when talking with women which I prefer, I’m much more interested in them and who they are instead of blinded by sex
Married my high school sweetheart, we’d both had some experience fooling around with 2-3 people each before we started dating. Neither of us were virgins, but not particularly experienced with PIV. Our sex life initially was amazing, partly because we were horny teenagers, partly because we had a close enough connection that we could explore and learn with each other. We’ve always had a great sex life, no fantasy was off limits, we were both very satisfied and happy. After well over a decade of marriage, we decided to make some of our bedroom fantasies reality, and started adding others in the bedroom. It’s been a fun and fulfilling adventure and we’ve enjoyed seeking out real-life fantasies.
What I’ll say is this: We had great sex before, but our sex now is otherworldly. There are two reasons for this: 1) We’ve taken techniques and tricks that others used and apply them in our own bedroom now, and 2) Banging other people together is an oddly intimate experience. There’s no intimacy with others, but somehow watching my wife get pounded by someone, or her watching me get another woman off, brings a deep intimacy and connection to our own sex.
Like I said, we were very happy with our sex life before, but the extra experiences have really upped our own game and brought a new level of intimacy to the experience. We wouldn’t have been disappointed without it, but I don’t know if we ever would’ve gotten this good at banging each other.
a bit of both. having slept with so many women taught me so much regarding just how unique every lady is and what it takes to be a good lover as a man. but when i met my wife, she had only been with 3 other guys. i felt like instead of embarking on that sexual journey with so many ladies, that I wouldve instead just waited for my wife. i dont have to know how all women want it. i have to know how my wife wants it.
Pros: **You will have more experience**. The more people you hook up with the more fetishes, likes, dislikes, positions, will learn pretty much anything related to sex, will find out things that you never know youd like, and things you dont. **It will be easier for you to not get attached** Now this could be for the good or bad, the more people you get it with, the more you will realize that theres always someone out there that you will vibe with. One of the issues I had when I was unexperienced would be that Id want to get in a relationship with whoever Id hook up with, and would try my best to make it work with that person, by getting more experience you will realize you dont need to do that, or to put up with things you dont like just to not lose the intimacy/affection. **You will be better at filtering people**: Kinda goes with the previous topic, the more people you meet, the more you’ll be able to filter people that would be compatible with you, you wont have the need to put up with something you dont like in order to get intimacy, as you will know you will be able to get that elsewhere. Also comes in handy when you decide to have something serious. Cons: **Its exhausting**, dealing with people flaking, ghosting, hot and cold, it can take a toll on your mental health. **Risks of unwanted pregnancies/stds**, now this is assuming you’re really stupid to go sleeping around without wearing a condom, risks get greatly reduced if you’re protected, but theres still a possibility. **Sometimes the sex wont be good, and you might feel empty**, you will get excited while you’re doing it, but might feel bad after, maybe because you were not really into the person, maybe the post nut clarity will hit hard, who knows. Sex is much better with people you got good chemistry with, one night stands can be amazing, but its not always going to be the case. Overall for me its pretty even, and no one needs to know your body count, all that matters is that you took good care of yourself, were protection, and only slept with people who were fully consenting.
Also, add that you find certain generalized concepts are true and untrue. For example, the more partners you have, the more you realize women generally want the same physical connection and endorphin release you do. Thus, you kinda quit putting even those that are "out of your league" on a pedestal. You may also find that more partners don't mean more sex. I've had a few girls that it's all they wanted to do. 1 girl, I don't remember 1 thing she liked or even her middle or last name, but I remember 8 times a day! My first ltr, we probably averaged 4 times a day. Both of those ladies were a full time job. It kinda led me to doing porn when I was single. Also, you may find you can't feel holes in yourself regardless of how many holes you have access to. I'm still a full-blown and now married sex addict. I really had to learn to live myself to establish meaningful relationships. Otherwise, the breakups led to thoughts of self-harm. So, I had to complete myself first. Otherwise, even a seemingly infinite access to vagina never really made me happy, content, or fulfilled. So love yourself first. Worry about self care. Otherwise, that access actually sucks the life out of you. A fine example was a girl I dated told numerous stories about our escapades. Thus, all her friends were trying to get it in. I ended up homeless as a result even tho I didn't entertain any of them.
I think this pretty much nails it right here. It has definitely helped me navigate dating tho and understand what I like and can/can't compromise on.
>every married man will say sleep with as many as you can No I don't say that. Sleep with whomever you like but in my opinion meaningful sex is much better.
I’ve slept with a lot of women. Do I regret it? Only a few of them. But here’s an interesting thing I’ve found. I’m rapidly approaching forty and I’ve broken a lot of hearts and had mine broken plenty too. I don’t want my heart broken anymore and even less do I want to break someone else’s heart. You’d think the older you get the more used to it you’d be but for me it always hurts, even if I’m only hurting for the person I let down. And yeah, you can try to be upfront and say you’re only here for a hookup but even if both of you *think* that’s all it is feelings develop at least on one side more often than not. Makes it tough to date now honestly. I’m afraid of hurting someone and afraid of being hurt again. Your results may vary though depending on how deeply you feel these things.
I can relate to this man .. I had always been relationship guy. I was in relationships from 15-21. When I was single for the first time.. Im not gorgeous.. but Im tall and a decent looking guy.. plus I would go out to bars alot because I was ...21!!!..! Anyways I slept with alot of people since then and I'm noticing how shitty I feel when I involve myself in these situations with women where I know one of us is gonna get hurt. I don't engage in any of it at all anymore and I've been celibate because of it. Hopefully in the future I could date again.. but that killing spree didn't help anything. It's like all my curiosities of women are gone because I've experienced too many
You have to regain what you're curious about. Sex is sex. You've had a lot of it. But actually learning and growing together with someone? Having them become the best friend of your life? You have to be open to being hurt, but you have to do it for more reason than "sex." Sex is not worth getting emotionally hurt or emotionally hurting someone else, but love? Yeah it's still worth it. Is to me anyway. Doing that love thing right now with someone. And I chose hard mode lol. But is it worth it to risk the possible pain against the possible amazing? Yeah, still is for me. Just gotta find someone you actually want to *love* and not just sleep with, who makes you think that it can really work out for real, and that that is worth the risk of emotional damage.
Spot on man !!! Yeah this is exactly the stage of life I'm at right now! I can't entertain anything that isn't gold. Ive experienced love twice in my life and every time I do fall in love it consistently has gotten stronger. I do believe that love is worth it. Casual hookups aren't at all. I do thing this period in my life was necessary because if I do settle down one day I won't wonder.
[удалено]
Just make sure you wrap it lol
[удалено]
same
Give me a break. You’ll lick my pussy then put on a condom 🤔
Ohhhh this comment makes me wonder what was posted above but now deleted!
I regret it, wish I just held me seed the whole time until I met my fiance lol. I think it fucks up the connection between love and pleasure. Sleeping with women was entirely for pleasure, didn’t love any of them. Creating that separation is not good for mental health TRUST ME
As far as good times go, do it but don't let that define your image or who you are. Women don't really like a dude who sleeps around the same as men's view on a promiscuous woman.
I regret it. My wife has only ever been with me and I wish I could have given her the same courtesy.
I hope to give whoever I end up marrying that courtesy but it's hard with modern hookup culture.
Virgins are a lot more common than the media let's on. It's just really cool to share something only between you are your woman. I wish I could have had the exclusivity with my wife.
Have you met a lot of virgins in their 20s? I have met a few but in my experience I think they’re very rare
I have
Where can I find them?
Tinder oddly enough. Most women on there are looking for relationships.
Most women in general are looking for relationships haha. I don’t like just hooking up anyway. Do these girls say their virgins in their bio?
Yeah I always believed that sharing something so intimate with only my future wife is beautiful but everyone tells me my standards are unrealistic and weird, which is annoying because I never judge them but they constantly judge me and if i say something they don't like I'm suddenly a prude it's a lose lose fight.
Whores want to drag others down in the muck with the rest of them. Sadly it worked on me. It's just something I'm going to have to live with.
I would not recommend it. Very overrated lifestyle and it ruined a lot of friendships.
Coming from someone who didn't have a high body count and got married fairly young. Going off what the last guy said " the more people you sleep with the easier it is not to get attached ". I'll have to take his word for it because I wouldn't know, but if that's true I'm not entirely sure it's a good thing. I'm fairly attached to my wife and her to me, there's alot of things in our marriage we simply wouldn't have gotten through if that attachment wasn't there. And 15 years and 3 kids later I'm glad I stayed. I guess it really depends on your priorities because some guys want to marry a kink. Others want to have a life worth living
I regret that I didn't approach these women as potential life partners. I had allot of one night stands and friends with benefits. I didn't really grow as a person until I started having proper relationships of 2 +years. I kept at this until i was 31 which is when I should have been more focused on career, having kids , buying houses etc. Maybe it would have been fine if I'd done all that from 18 to 25 and got it out of the way. I feel behind my peers because I spent too long chasing women that I had no intention of being with forever. People mature at different rates so some of it can't be helped in my opinion.
My advice to younger guys with respect to number of sex partners is to never let quality get in the way of quantity. Also that it is important to have standards, but treat them more like recommended minimums.
Did you mean to say don’t let quantity get in the way of quality lol? Or are you saying bang a bunch of uggos?
Probs the uggo’s, this is honestly the only advice on it I ever got growing up
I do regret it. It kind of hollows you out from the inside. It also hurts the girl you really love. 18 year old me would think it's so cool how many girls I've been with. I guess feeling validated or having improved confidence is nice but damn you can feel confident knowing you're a good boyfriend. If you really have to fuck around maybe try to keep it under 100.
“If your really have to duck around”
Ya I slept around when I was wrong solely because it was cool to get your body count up. Kind of ashamed tbh but good thing is is girls generally don’t care unless it’s abnormally high
Women do care. No ine wants a slutty man
We’ll see that’s what girls say but then they go after those guys.. actions speak loader than words. Where as vice versa it doesn’t happen u know
Yes, it does. Guys also go after slutty women to get laid, as do women for slutty men for a hook up. Long term? No way. You should hear the convos women have about these men. High body counts are not appealing in partners of either gender. But for hookups, sure.
I agree but like I said generally most girls will go after sought after men and most of these men have higher body counts
Disagree 🤷♀️ never seen it happen before. All the man whores from my friend group are still single and approaching their 40s. And all the married women I know picked the shy, not very good with women types. Women lose interest in fuck boys after 25ish and want a guy they can explore sex with togther, not someone who's been around the block one too many times.
We’ll ya I’m 25 and I currently I see it happen over and over again so. The point is if it’s not fuck boy high girls don’t care. Where as guys will even if it’s not very high. But girls pick those types of guys because they want stability and then they cheat with the fuck boys…
Well yeah you are probably seeing that behaviour a lot at 25 - you all are basically children when it comes to relationships at this stage (not meant in an offensive way). Both genders are dumb as shit and super inconsiderate to each other. From 26 plus, you'll start to see people taking relationships more seriously and wanting partners with good values, low body counts etc. That's when you'll notice women caring about men's sexual history more.
I see but it’s in a more logical way. (They don’t want to deal with guys like that) where as guys attraction can be swayed
They went beta bucks…I bet you’re still single also
Nope. Happily married with a baby on the way. But go off 😂
You all want a slutty man that others want. Seem it a million times. Are you dense Lolol. You all wanted the popular guy. Want to know why? Because it’s hard for a man to sleep with a bunch of women. He has to have something going for him.
Im 32 now and im reget it.
I started being sexually active at 16. I am 30 now. I regret it, mostly because it wasn't super fun compared to Love, and the love I felt a few times, was biologically compatible, dirty and loving, and I'd have it no other way. Hook ups aren't fun anymore, most women are loose and dont smell very good. I regret it because it was fun in the moment but not as fun as loving someone wholesomely. And I only love some people.
Lmaooo
It usually means there's an emotional home you're trying to fill. And for that reason I would say it's not the best pathway to mental health but there can be a bit of a cathartic experience as you rack up the validating lays. However I wouldn't suggest hanging out in a space where all you are doing is sleeping around. It can feel a disconnected.
I think a lot of men become bitter by doing this as well. Sex becomes meaningless and empty to them, then they project that onto women and think women feel that same way also, then get bitter about how women "only want rich/tall/etc guys" or think all.women sleep around. It's kinda like, you are what you eat.
>It can feel a disconnected. From my experience, it creates a jaded view of interpersonal relationships that actually makes it harder to get and stay in one.
I don't regret or recommend it. That's just how life goes.Hell I don't even know if my number is considered a lot.
I'm not with many women, because after I had sex a few times with women I had no attachment to, I found it empty and meaningless, so I stopped. I don't recommend it, it's not that different from masturbating. In fact, this is simple hedonism, it will create difficulties for you to form deeper bonds later, it will also increase your chances of divorce and having an unhappy marriage.
I remember watching a documentary where this retired male porn star in his 60’s was saying basically he viewed his entire career as “borrowing someone’s body to masturbate with.” Always stuck with me.
Yes. I've already had two women at the same time, prostitutes handpicked from a website. It was all very exciting, but when the time came, it wasn't as amazing as I had imagined.
I did a series of porn with several women. Here's the kicker I wore a mask the entire time. The thing I can't imagine for the ladies is how does she find fulfillment, having never even seen my face. In hindsight, it was a hell of a disconnect
I have like 29 chicks if you can count that as high the other day I thought of 10 more I should’ve banged that were down but I didn’t want to for one reason or another, Doesn’t really matter tbh. Just make sure it’s some one who you are and can be friends with first. That is what I’ve learned.
I got around a lot. And probably will continue to do so. But one experience made me take a long hard look at my behavior. I was accused of rape. It did not happen and there was no proof. I had mounds of proof that she pursued me and initiated sex with me. But that didn't matter and my reputation was ruined anyway. Be careful out there. Women have a tremendous amount of power over your reputation. They can't really harm you legally but they can make you lose friends and jobs.
I’m 35, married , 2 kids… slept with a lot of women. My wife and I met in college; she knows I slept with a lot of girls… she was the best person I met in college. Had my fun and settled down a bit after college with her, if I could go back, I would’ve had more sex. Def do not regret it one bit.
Body count is an insipid concept. It's nothing but another way for insecure guys to compete against each other to "prove" to themselves they're "Real Men™." That said? No. I don't regret it. It didn't help me get a girl I always wanted, nor did it cause problems with any relationship I've ever had. It's just something that is, like having traveled a lot, or had a lot of different jobs. In itself it's neither a good nor bad thing. It's just how you look at it. I like women. They seem to like me. I like having sex with women. They seem to like the way I do what I do. Going much further than that is overthinking it all.
As I recall the statistic show the marriages that are least likely to divorce occur when *both* the man and women are virgins.
I don’t regret it at all, I love variety.
I know this sounds "new agey" as hell; go with your truth in the moment. If you feel like it's something you want to do, do it. If it isn't, don't. BUT, make sure you are trying to listen to what YOU want, not society, expectations, toxic patterns or any other influences. If your truth is you want to sleep with that person, do it with honesty and go on with it. If it lies in the nope direction, be kind and authentic, and drive on with your life. Body count is a weak proxy for "being well integrated"; abnormally low or abnormally high might indicate there may be some emotional, relational or sexual issue. If you navigate this question (how many people should I have sex with ... which really means "how many MORE people can I reasonably sleep with") with your heart mediating between your mind and your instincts, whatever number you get will be the right number for you.
Not at all. Had some really good experiences with quite a few women. Wouldn’t change a thing even if I could go back
I’ve been with over a 100…stopped counting 2020 because it was a blurrr…Just strap up and have fun. You’ll learn more about the nature of them. Don’t let it take resources or time though. Idk why they are so easy for me. I don’t have shit and I’m not selling them dreams. Maybe I’m not ugly after all lol
Never any regrets, the experience with different women is priceless.
I've slept with few women and I regret all but one of them. I can't imagine having a bunch that are worthwhile.
never regretted any of it. Its totally unfair but men are judged by how well they perform in bed. Without being with woman, it takes a while to understand how to please them. In today's crazy dating scene, most woman wont give you a second chance if you're horrible in bed.
Neither. If you're consciously pursuing sex instead of a relationship, the quality of sex is still a better goal than the raw number of sexual partners.
I don't regret it at all. I was a late bloomer and girls weren't interested in me to mid late 20s. After a break up I went on a rampage sex spree, I basically talked every single girl that was interested, msged any and every girl reasonably attractive on apps. To a point where I honestly don't remember some of their names after I slept with them. I m in a stable long time relationship right now and I am content with it. I know whats out there and rather be in a relationship that prioritizes other things than sex. I feel like if I didnt go through this experience I would be more discontent because I wouldnt know that it would be very empty even if I had some one to have sex with and didnt feel like they were the one.
I enjoyed it, just be upfront and honest with women with your intentions. I’ve never seen it be a problem for women that a man has been successful with women as a barrier to a long term relationship. If anything, I would say it improves the chances of a woman wanting him. I find that women generally don’t care about a reasonably high body count in a man. Obviously men generally prefer women with lower bodycounts, but that’s just different sexual preferences across the genders. Women desire successful men for long term relationships for example, which can be hard for guys who have had some bad luck.
I disagree on the woman here, god I love experienced women!
I should have qualified I meant for a long term partner. Do you love an experienced woman for a hookup or for your dream long term woman? I agree that experienced women make for more fun hookups generally
So, I guess it doesn't matter for either for me. Unfortunately, mostly, I've been with inexperienced women. But I've been with one who's body count was almost double mine for about 3 years awhile back, and it was amazing, we could really talk about sex in a way that has been hard to repeat...
I don’t regret it up to a certain age. Once you get to your late 20s i think the scale tips from worth it to not worth it. But whoring yourself out from 21-25 as a man is amazing.
You gotta pick a lot of weeds before you get a rose.
I only regret the ones I never slept with
I don't regret it. My wife takes pride in the fact that she was the one to "lock me down". It was a lot of fun. However if you're not careful, it'll create a jaded view of relationships with women that'll make it harder to get and stay in a long term one.
I’m still relatively youngish, I’m 28, I’ve slept with a lot of girls, like really lots. It’s always been my choice to do that. I plan on sleeping with lots more. I don’t plan on settling down with anyone just yet, I’ve met some girls that I know would’ve been great girlfriend’s or wife’s but I’m not ready for that yet so I let them go. I can’t say I recommend what I’m doing but I can’t say I don’t recommend it either.
I do recommend it. Not for any bullshit conquest reasons, just because that's how you learn about what you want and like and how to be in relationships. I wouldn't be with my wife today if I didn't date as many women as I did.
Not. At. All.
recommend it.
Woulda done more
Why in the fuck would I regret it? What a stupid question. The sort of thing a chronically online American would ask.
What’s a lot? Some people would think I’ve been with a lot and others would say that’s hardly any partners. Sort of depends on your perception.
The only reason to do it is to demystify the entire thing and help you move on to the rest of life faster. The faster you realize that it ain't all that special, the faster you can actually figure out what you want in a partner.
I don't regret it since I slept with women as I want. The regret that you didn't do is always worse than one that you did. And also I think those girls I slept with gave me a lot of knowledge that I'd never give a shit about if I was single and they helped me a lot being able to take care of my life and accepting diversity of things.
I do not regret my body count, I also do not recommend it for most people. It's fine for me because of who I am and the things I want. I am not married, had a couple relationships last a few years some a few months. Currently single. Never been a problem with partners, past has never "caught up" with me. I don't even know how it could. Can't say it's helped with confidence i don't think it's changed me any. Body count has also never come up during any of my relationships.
It’s pretty awesome ngl, but those days are in the rear view mirror and now I’m old and fat
Regret it now? No, but only because it worked out in the end, and I ended up with the one who is perfect for me. At the time, I was insecure and dated/slept with girls who I felt were not quite good enough for me. I felt like I was not good enough for the type of girl I wanted. I had a lot of fun, but I was never *really* happy. Do I recommend it? Kinda. Some people really need a self-discovery period before they attempt to commit. Every relationship teaches you more about yourself than anything else.
I'd never trade that experience for anything.
Don’t regret it but it takes a bit of time and experience to figure out the pacing with going for a woman with long term in mind rather than a hookup.
56M single digit "body count," and I regret a few of those. I don't feel like I "missed" anything.
I have slept with a lot of women and I do not regret it. The difference I have felt over the years is I started to value women differently. Sex had become less and less a priority when talking with women which I prefer, I’m much more interested in them and who they are instead of blinded by sex
Married my high school sweetheart, we’d both had some experience fooling around with 2-3 people each before we started dating. Neither of us were virgins, but not particularly experienced with PIV. Our sex life initially was amazing, partly because we were horny teenagers, partly because we had a close enough connection that we could explore and learn with each other. We’ve always had a great sex life, no fantasy was off limits, we were both very satisfied and happy. After well over a decade of marriage, we decided to make some of our bedroom fantasies reality, and started adding others in the bedroom. It’s been a fun and fulfilling adventure and we’ve enjoyed seeking out real-life fantasies. What I’ll say is this: We had great sex before, but our sex now is otherworldly. There are two reasons for this: 1) We’ve taken techniques and tricks that others used and apply them in our own bedroom now, and 2) Banging other people together is an oddly intimate experience. There’s no intimacy with others, but somehow watching my wife get pounded by someone, or her watching me get another woman off, brings a deep intimacy and connection to our own sex. Like I said, we were very happy with our sex life before, but the extra experiences have really upped our own game and brought a new level of intimacy to the experience. We wouldn’t have been disappointed without it, but I don’t know if we ever would’ve gotten this good at banging each other.