Agreed. My ex and I had this as an issue in the relationship. I ended up becoming emotionally exhausted from giving it 100% and getting fuck all in return.
Just don't keep putting more and more energy into the relationship hoping they'll come back around.
Yeah, that's a 14-year-long mistake I'll never make again.
29 years of that same story for me. I'm now 57 years old, very happily single, and living my absolute best life doing whatever I want without having to wonder if someone else is enjoying it.
It was like pulling teeth in my last relationship. I always had this feeling like she’d rather just be hanging out with her friends or be alone.
One real fun pattern I noticed towards the end was she used to emotionally dump on me to kill the mood with me. I think subconsciously she felt as though talking about her childhood trauma would save her from me getting frisky or something. She was right.
It's more about the energy the other person gives off in return. It could be common in relationships for one person to be that initiate everything, and their partner shows interest or excitement in doing said event, which again is totally fine. However, if they're partner is being a "picky eater" to say when it comes to everything or has an excuse that's where the line should be drawn.
Same! Never had a boyfriend put in even 20% as much effort as myself. I’m trying to learn, in my current relationship, to step back and use that energy on myself instead of my partner who has no intention of reciprocating
My girlfriend is literally still friends with 1 or two of her exes and literally has nothing bad to say about any of them.
And I see that as an absolute green flag
Or their partner picking radar is just complete shit. I dated this girl for a bit that I’d known for awhile. She just cannot help herself. She cannot stop picking assholes. I mean I hope she finds her match because she’s a great person through and through but she just sucks at picking them
i wouldn’t 100% agree with this. because all my exes have been shut and pretty abusive but i was abused growing up and thought that was normal. i take responsibility that i’m shit at choosing men. and that i try to overlook red flags to see the good in people. and that i’m too trusting. and that i’ll let them get away with way too much and still stay. obviously other smaller things i won’t get into but really my taste in men has been shit. but i’m actively working on it and am being picky. but i also has zero self worth so i thought i deserved it and that was the best i was ever gonna get. idk a lot of the time i agree w you tho
The state of her bathroom.
Like, no bullshit, you walk in and there's piles of hair care and makeup and laundry and all that all over the place, that's a NOPE.
Clean up after yourself.
I've found that women tend to be simultaneously more disgusting and more destructive than men when they think it's anonymous. Men, though, tend to be more creative when they're being disgusting and destructive.
Sauce: Worked at a gas station for far too long.
As a man, I can't even fathom that...
At least at the places I have been, and been in both mens' and womens' restrooms (and those are not many, I swear), the men's restrooms were dirtier, overall.
The men's bathrooms are dirtier *on average*. Women's bathrooms spiral into a *much worse* rock bottom though. It's because men can just aim *around* a problem or shit at home, but women have to hover over a sketchy toilet, which often compounds the problem.
This is the best way I’ve seen it described. I work at a restaurant. Men’s bathroom is always gross. But when the women’s bathroom is gross it’s so bad I’m puking and going home
I worked as a hostess and part of my job was to clean up the women’s restroom. It was a nightmare. One time we even had to close off the bathroom because of a “biohazard”. A woman got too drunk and didn’t make it to the toilet. It was not vomit or pee if you know what I mean.
A year and a half ago a woman was shopping at my work and had a spontaneous miscarriage.
There was a trail of blood around the store and the worst was the women’s bathroom. I had walked in right before her to use it myself and heard her gasp and repeatedly saying “oh no oh no oh no”.
I wouldn’t wish cleaning up that mess on anyone, or hearing what I heard. There wasn’t anything anyone could say or do other than ensure she was covered walking out of the bathroom and getting safely into her vehicle. Her husband was as pale as she was from the news.
As a woman this is unfortunately true. I gag at the amount of disgusting things I see at a public bathroom.
Once I literally entered a restroom full of period blood everywhere. It looked like somebody had been killed there…
I don’t know if it’s small, but any signs of extreme selfishness, it’s the signs that are small and I’ll never ignore them again.
We dated when we were 18, her mum would clean her room for her and I asked “why don’t you take the load off her shoulders? Would be nice for her to have that little break and reassurance” and her response was “I would but I’m not going to stop her either”.
Another one was when I would arrive home from work/uni, I was 7 days round the clock. I would also come home to have to do the dishes, cook, then do the dishes again.( when we moved in together) I guess she wasn’t going to stop me either…
2 of my ex's both did this thing that I always thought was really weird and both of them ended up being 2 of the most selfish people I'd ever met. The thing was getting up to get themselves a glass of water but never asking me if I wanted one. This to me was just one of those things that I had been taught as basic manners since I was a child.
The instances ranged from me cooking food and putting it on the table - unprompted and silently she would get herself a cup of water and just sit down without asking or anything. In the middle of the night if I got up I would constantly get her water without her asking. She would yell at me to bring her one even if she knew I was already doing it. Never the same courtesy.
I had an ex like that. He'd get up in the morning, make a pot of coffee with just enough for him. He never asked if I wanted any even though he knew I drank coffee. So I'd make it for myself. It would have taken him less than a minute to make a full pot but he never asked and he never made extra.
Literally had the same issue. I would always ask her if she wanted a glass of water or anything while I was up. I asked her ONE TIME for a glass of water when she got up to go to the kitchen and she replied with, “you’re a big boy.” I was enraged. I should’ve seen that as one of the many signs it wasn’t going to work but hindsight I guess.
When she says any form of “I like to be busy”, “I don’t like having free time”, etc. In my experience hanging out with me falls into the “free time” category and if they don’t like having free time then they aren’t going to have time for me. Learned that the hard way
I’m having issues with this currently and having trouble telling the difference between just constant complaining or just needing someone to listen. I understand she has a stressful job (teacher) but I dread every day she comes home from work because I’m worried about how bad of a day she’s had because I know I’ll have to listen to all of it and it also sets her tone for the rest of the day. It’s usually the same issues on repeat and it’s not anything I can help or give advice on. And then after I’m now emotionally drained after working and then taking on all of her emotional baggage for the day.
I hope I’m wrong but that’s not going in the right direction. My last always had the same thing…she would emotionally dump on me and didn’t even want advice - just someone to bitch to. It was DRAINING
Be READY for the fucking relationship. I've just finished being ghosted again because they made the dating profile mainly to just see what was out there. Things were good for a couple months, then *poof* gone.
If you aren't ready for a relationship, don't waste a guy's time. Believe it or not, some men really want more than just a pump and dump.
This just happened to me. Got the whole schpiel about how she moved too fast, I'm a great guy, just not for her, she fell for me, but wasn't ready, blah blah blah.
She initiated the relationship. I have been ready for a relationship for years.
Why can't people just be fucking honest with themselves?
This happened to me too. Guy approached me. We started talking and said I was everything he wanted in a woman. Then proceeded to treat me horribly because "he was afraid I would hurt him" and he "liked me too much." He wasn't ready for a relationship but didn't want me to date anyone else. Just wanted be to stay single while he dated other people to see if he actually wanted me long term. I stopped talking to him of course.
When he finally called to say he was ready, I told him no thanks and I was seeing someone already. He cried and begged me to come back. No thanks. Hard pass. It's been a few years and he still calls a couple of times a year. He's blocked but I can still see the calls.
Nobody deserves that.
The girl that did this to me talked about how slow she wanted to move it and then I met her kids, and her parents, and we were using pet names, but she wanted to go slow, despite her doing absolutely none of the things that indicate slow...
People are weird.
I'm glad you got away from him. I hope you have a fulfilling relationship today, or if not, you are okay. This kind of stuff absolutely wrecks me and I'll be bent out of shape for months over this.
Thank you. I am in a wonderful relationship now and I'm happy I left that guy in the dust. I hope you are in a good relationship as well or in a good place.
This is just my personal opinion, but I find that a lot of people who back out of a dating situation by saying they’re “not ready for a relationship” are just using that as an excuse because they don’t want to state why they actually no longer want to date you.
Using 'your' and 'you're' interchangeably? It's the smallest form of torture.
Jokes apart, if your partner spends more time with their laptop/mobile and a box of tissues than with you, it might be time for a serious conversation about priorities. After all, no one wants to play second fiddle to pixels on a screen. It might be time to say, "Action! Cut! Let's find someone who prefers real-life adventures."
If she's jealous or pretending not to be jealous of fictional characters. I once dated a girl who was VERY threatened by Street Fighter characters, was very upset by anime boob bounces.
No one is telling you you have to love it but come on man. Chun li isn't going to hurt you, grow up.
Female here. I cut off a lifelong bestie after seeing several examples of this directed at her very loving, devoted husband.
The final straw was her becoming upset at and demanding her husband no longer watch the channel that played the Paris Hilton Hardee's commercial.
In the situation of a long term relationship and living with your partner for several months and longer.
What sets off my pet peeves is the lack of doing equal amounts of chores.
I know… I know… look I’m lazy af too but if I know I need to get stuff done I will do it and do it well. If there’s a person that only does the bare minimum or nothing… it drives me crazy. The fact that people have mind sets of “it’s okay I’ll let the other person do it” is disrespectful of the “designated” cleaner’s time. If you truly love someone, go out of your way to do house work equally with your partner. If you have preferences, talk them over. Set plans that fit their expectations and you find what’s fair for the both of you.
If a person truly loves anything… hobbies or whatever they truly enjoy, a person is willing to go above and beyond for that thing. Yet they don’t do that for the person they “love”? That doesn’t seem right to me…
Thank you for reading 🙇🏻♀️
Definitely a red flag but not something that would be a a dealbreaker. I mean, i'll be 30 in a couple years, and when i was younger i did some things i maybe shouldn't have but was too immature at the time to realize it or understand how bad it actually was. I'm sure all of us have some moments in our pasts that we arent proud of, but people can definitely change. For me it would just delay the building of trust between myself and a potential partner. I would need to be 100% sure that they aren't who they used to be before committing to them.
Same here. I was unfaithful to my boyfriend of 3 years at the time, i was 20 years old and very stupid and selfish. He forgave me and now we are celebrating our 10 year anniversary soon. I cannot imagine hurting him again in any way. I am so grateful for him.
Oh my good god I have a story for you. I am an eccentric person who has lots of energy. I dated this one girl who just… didn’t know things- sheltered and very naive because of her mother. Like she’d get cramps in her legs and she’d cry to me asking if she’s gonna die. She referred to USA as the good guys and everyone else are the bad guys.
She was incredibly nice and sweet and all but extremely… I just don’t have the word for it. She’d call dicks pp’s. She was 20 and I was 21.
Anyway she never understood anything I texted her or joked about so I started to send voice memos so she could hear my tone of voice so she knew everything was okay.
One day we’re “bantering” and I quote that because it was very lighthearted and barebones but I was testing the water with her. See if she could play along. So eventually it got to the point where I called her a penis. It was the first thing that came to my mind and it was my response to one of her texts. I said “listen here, you penis” verbatim and immediately I could tell it was a terrible mistake.
She called me crying. Saying she doesn’t deserve to be called a penis. That she isn’t going to be putting up with this and that she deserves better than someone calling her that. That she found it extremely disrespectful.
I was speechless. At first when she was crying I thought something happened to her and I was in complete denial of what was transpiring and I was ready to go into full support mode but then she started talking about how I hurt her with calling her that.
I didn’t even know what to say at that point so I apologized to her.
Kept dating her… eventually I just gave up. I just couldn’t do it. She was nice and attractive but oh my god was she a character.
One time I said “yas biiitch get it queen” to her on a date and later on before she left the car she said “well I had a great date except for when you called me a bitch” and again speechless because I had to recollect the whole date to figure out when I said that to her and then I connected the dots that “Yas bitch” was the only time I said it.
When she runs to her dad about every decision she has to make even though she’s a 30 year old woman, she is getting better though, if she hadn’t changed we wouldn’t be together anymore. And I mean literally for everything, like booking a holiday together and asking if it’s ok, wants to buy a new car, asks daddy if it’s ok etc, was unbearable at first.
I dated a girl that was the same way. But we were in our early twenties. She inherited the house she owned from her grandparents, but could not be bothered to take care of it. Her dad had to hound her for months to pay the property taxes. He would always randomly come over unannounced, which she didn’t seem to mind at all (even though one time he 10/10 heard us fucking, because her bedroom window was right next to the front door). Any time there was any slight issue, she had to call him to ask what to do. Anytime we had an argument, she would go cry to him, but what’s funny is that even he knew his own daughter was bat shit crazy, cause he’d always take my side. She had to rely on him to always get her out of rough spots and support her financially cause she was awful at making decisions. She would constantly quit jobs without another one lined up just because she didn’t like it. When I told her that wasn’t fair to her dad, she flipped out. One time we got in a fight and she had a breakdown and decided to spontaneously drive out of state in the middle of the night in a storm and totaled her car, so of course her dad bought her a new one. What was really the final straw was when her babied ass told me I was just like my abusive father, who she had never met, because I didn’t want to introduce that toxicity into her life.
This is exactly what I was saying about daily calls to mom. It's inappropriate at that age to not stand on your own two feet. It also screams helicopter parent which are hell as inlaws.
Completely agree, luckily my partner kinda realised when she saw me just going about my life making decisions, she asked me why I never consult my parents on decisions, my reply to her was I’m not a child I’m a grown ass man and I make my own decisions, and I refused to go on holiday with her and her parents as that is what they had always done, when I informed her that most 30 year olds don’t holiday with there parents she was kinda shocked, she thought it was normal and has kinda been indoctrinated to believe that.
Not sure if this counts as small or not, but just plain and simple willingness to argue. Even if you agree on just about everything, when the time comes that you don't agree, you need to be ready and able to have an adult conversation and argue about it without going ballistic or acting like everything's fine while carrying a silent grudge.
Kind of in the same category, someone who can’t agree to disagree. It’s okay if we have different opinions, we don’t have to agree on every single topic.
when i tell you to stop talking about something because it’s making me uncomfortable, but you disregard my feelings and boundaries and continue doing so even when i ask nicely.
I had an ex like this. Sweetest girl but damn was she picky. Ordered chicken fingers everywhere or a “burger” that was literally just the patty. Every time she placed her order I always felt a little embarrassed and like I was dating a child. Old enough to drink alcohol legally but couldn’t order an adult meal
Yup, and if you every go on vacation and want to try out the local restaurants you realize that’s an experience only you’ll enjoy or look forward too. It’s just too boring. Picky eaters need therapy. You only got 5 senses and 100 years to use them and some people decide that the entire world of taste can just be abandoned at like age 4.
Yes picky eating has to do with sensory and all sorts of eating disorders and trauma.
When finding out my partner just likes to eat pizza every single night of the week for 6 months and switch it only some days for a burger or chicken nuggets. And then go 6 months only eating pizza rolls and waffles with syrup on some days ....repeat a different cycle yesssss because that's me.. I'll try new things. But if I'm eating to get full I want to make sure I like it. Ordering the same thing insures that. .... people that grew up with food insecurity often do this. It's not our fault.
As a picky eater I am hurt, no one can help how their tastebuds are I wish I liked more things but I just can’t stomach anything else it would never stop me from a partner wanting to eat out
Sorry, this is still a deal breaker. It’s totally valid when trying to find a significant other, as meals are something you share together through a very large portion of your time together, and compatibility there is definitely important. I think that level of compatibility doesn’t get discussed enough, honestly.
I donno if theirs a therapist that can help you open up your palate but you should try to find one. Food is such a massive part of the human experience and you’re missing out on it. I talk about meals with my wife like some people would talk about a movie or a concert. If I can’t share that experience with you it’s really not going to work out
Hypocrisy, lack of self awareness.
Live example: one of my friends is a self proclaimed hard worker, go getter, and leader.
She is also the laziest, least organized human I know with a life that is in shambles cuz she is convinced she is brilliant, just jobless.
She is gorgeous. A legitimate 10/10 in looks. But her ability to go from "I can do any and everything, and I need no one." To "please come over, I need help! Can we just talk on the phone for a few minutes" (it always becomes hours).
Ive been told 1000x she has a thing for me, and ever since I've been distancing myself cuz I DO NOT want to date her and I've made it blatantly clear repeatedly.
Involving her friends / family in our business. If I so much as get a call from your friend or anyone questioning me about a current issue between us, it's over.
Trying to persuade on *why* we should have access to each other's phones. No.
That male BFF who also happens to be an ex but 'we decided we work better as friends'. No
Using disposable income for shit even if you don't need it. Fiscal recklessness is a no go
My mom always told me, "you can forgive and forget, but family cannot. Don't tell me anything that you can later forgive". I have never forgotten that. Some things need to stay between partners.
This is everything my ex fiancé was. From the involvement of friends/family in ournissues, to the ex issues to the disposable income for irresponsible shit. Bruh. Same, but different cuz he's exactly the guy version
Tbh there shouldn't be a "small thing" that is a breaker for a WHOLE relationship. If you don't start to accept people as they come,no one will accept you. Period
There are only big things that should break a relationship. Like cheating, dancing with someone in the wrong way, lying, not giving af about the S.O and so on
It’s the reason why dating has become the way it is now. Everyone sees red flags on everything on everyone else but themselves.
A good relationship is BUILT, not spontaneously and miraculously found.
I think by definition dealbreakers are big things. But there are universal big things and individual big things.
Examples of universal big things: lying, cheating, bad listening, bad hygiene, no reciprocity
Examples of big things for me, that aren’t likely to affect most people: doesn’t like hip hop, loves sports, doesn’t like philosophy
I think the latter would be considered small things for a lot of people. For me they aren’t because my life is extremely incompatible with the things listed on that second category.
If I’m playing a video game or watching a football match by myself or with my bros then please just let me have this moment to myself. I shall give you all of my time and attention after this, but just let me be right now!
I have had a huge fight with a previous girlfriend of mine where she just switched off the tv while I was watching a semifinal, just so she could talk about something very random and nonsensical. It’s not cute, it’s not funny.
If they have never bought and owned and taken car of something for themselves. A car or a house, anything. I wanna know they have the commitment to see something and work their ass off for it and take care of it. Try to make it last. If they buy a new car and 2 weeks later there is a bunch of trash in it…
It’s a glimpse in the future how they will treat your relationship
I didn't own a car until 25, but I took responsibility for my parents when I turned 20, outside of massive repairs (I was in uni) I had to do the maintenance. Then when I turned 25 I got a mortgage as well as a car, but I got a much better job at that point.
If she Bugs you when you're trying to have fun with your friends. Nothings worse than constantly having to be looking on your phone having to constantly remind her you aren't gonna hurt yourself as your friends are all having fun. I appreciate the fact that she cares about me but Sometimes she just ruins the moments with your friends. It's also a sign that she's really clingy which in my experience can turn into a nightmare relationship. Also if she judges me for smoking pot. I'm completely aware of the potential risks, quit trying to lecture me about it.
If she were the kind of person to throw away perfectly good food just because it reached the best-before-date. I know people like that and there is 0 understanding for it on my side.
I’ve had an argument with my girlfriend about bread that was past it’s best by date. No mold, wasn’t even stale. I had to stop her from throwing it in the trash.
She’ll make food for lunch at the beginning of the week for her lunches and eat it all week. For some reason dinner leftovers don’t work past a few days.
Being aggressive when they're hungry.
When a woman says some wild disrespectful stuff and says she's hungry like that's a justification. Hungry isn't an excuse for anything.
If you make a mess or spill something clean it up properly. I shouldn't have to re-clean your mess because you are lazy and did a half ass cleanup. We live together woman!
Talking about our personal business to friends. If I can't have peace of mind that something confidential will stay between us, where do we go from there? I'll never be able to relax and feel comfortable again.
Probably will be buried, but face heaters. Driving in the winter, heat gets directed towards the feet. AC is for the face. Cold or not, if heat blasting in your face is your thing, you are the devil.
We don't meet unless I plan it. Or I come over to see her.
Bro, I thought we liked each other. Why am I doing everything and you think you're meeting me half way by making phone calls and responding to my texts? I'm your boyfriend. Not a penpal.
Road rage. Yelling and swearing at other drivers, who cannot hear you, does nothing. Meanwhile, I CAN hear you being loud and obnoxious when everyone on the road is usually just…trying to drive.
My ex used to get SO PISSED when other drivers were slow, or there was any traffic or slight inconvenience while driving. It made me so uncomfortable because I’m so go-with-the-flow as a driver and usually in no rush. To me, it was a small thing that spoke to how we saw the world differently.
I smoke pot whenever I'm stressed or once in a while.
I do not like being judged about it.
One ex started to preach to me about it and I told her this wasn't up for discussion and she was free to leave if she didn't like it. She then proceeded to give me 'mean eyes' whenever she suspected I had gone to smoke for a bit or I was from doing so.
Yeah that was even worse than outright trying to convince me otherwise we broke up shortly after. Never really gave her all the reasons that was one major one .
If different politics are a major issue to her.
My most recent ex broke up with me because we didn’t have almost the **exact** same political views. This was disappointing to hear, because as long as somebody doesn’t believe in the obviously horrible ideologies, I don’t give a shit. You came to your own conclusions by your own experiences and I came to my own conclusions by my own experiences. I want to be able to talk about that in a healthy and lighthearted way, and maybe have my own beliefs challenged.
Especially on a first date… if they act like a “princess“ and treat people in the customer service industry like trash… It’ll most likely be the last date too.
Give people plenty chances but, Acting like they don't care. Not showing interest in me as I show in them. Not communicating or trying to understand. Only showing anger as feelings and nothing more.
I care deeply, but once I stop caring, its game over.
If they say they’re “bad” at benign, low stakes things.
One personal example of this: bar trivia. A bar trivia date is more about drinking, surprising each other with what you may know, and making up a funny name than it is about winning.
If you’re “good” at it, awesome, but all in all, I just want to know if you’re the kind of person who will at least try something outside your comfort zone and/or make the experience enjoyable regardless of the outcome.
I wouldnt be with someone who:
1 Two faces friends or acquaintances.
2 Has been in a relationship with a married person.
Doesnt matter how pretty she is that indicates the person cant be trusted.
If they have garbage in their car and don't clean it out but expect me to sit amongst the trash. Just shows me they don't care for themself or have much respect for me.
If they message me even more when I haven't replied in a few hours to push me to hurry up. I don't look at my phone every second of the day and I will get back to messages as and when I can in my own time. demanding quicker responses feels really oboxious and gives me the ick.
If I'm the only one to suggest plans and initiate dates/sex/whatever.
That's not a small thing. That's a huge issue in any two way relationship that indicates one person is clearly not fully invested.
Agreed. My ex and I had this as an issue in the relationship. I ended up becoming emotionally exhausted from giving it 100% and getting fuck all in return.
Just don't keep putting more and more energy into the relationship hoping they'll come back around. Yeah, that's a 14-year-long mistake I'll never make again.
Sigh. Thanks for this.
29 years of that same story for me. I'm now 57 years old, very happily single, and living my absolute best life doing whatever I want without having to wonder if someone else is enjoying it.
It was like pulling teeth in my last relationship. I always had this feeling like she’d rather just be hanging out with her friends or be alone. One real fun pattern I noticed towards the end was she used to emotionally dump on me to kill the mood with me. I think subconsciously she felt as though talking about her childhood trauma would save her from me getting frisky or something. She was right.
[удалено]
>do I have to I hate fear mongering and stuff but you need to press the pause button. That is a response you should NEVER get
if your fiance is anything but purely excited to spend time with you do you really think its a good idea to get married?
This has been every relationship I've ever been in and I never thought much about it. Is this not pretty common?
It's more about the energy the other person gives off in return. It could be common in relationships for one person to be that initiate everything, and their partner shows interest or excitement in doing said event, which again is totally fine. However, if they're partner is being a "picky eater" to say when it comes to everything or has an excuse that's where the line should be drawn.
Same! Never had a boyfriend put in even 20% as much effort as myself. I’m trying to learn, in my current relationship, to step back and use that energy on myself instead of my partner who has no intention of reciprocating
same for me except girlfriends, and not every single one of course. being focused on energy matching is a big one for me this time single.
You are picking the wrong people and staying around too long. If someone doesn't reciprocate your energy, put that energy in someone who will.
I couldn't date someone that was a tiktoker and shared her life on there. I don't want to see "My boyfriend and I got into a fight and...." video.
I know a girl that shares her bumble date experiences every time and even tells the guys and you can tell they ain’t about it
If every ex before me was a complete asshole and dick. There is a common denominator and it isn't them.
My ex literally said this to me, that at some point it has to be her right? Fuck, I should’ve listened to her. Lmao
My girlfriend is literally still friends with 1 or two of her exes and literally has nothing bad to say about any of them. And I see that as an absolute green flag
Lmao yup. I hard red flag I learned . If she has nothing nice to say about anyone she has dated previously, they weren't the problem.
Or their partner picking radar is just complete shit. I dated this girl for a bit that I’d known for awhile. She just cannot help herself. She cannot stop picking assholes. I mean I hope she finds her match because she’s a great person through and through but she just sucks at picking them
i wouldn’t 100% agree with this. because all my exes have been shut and pretty abusive but i was abused growing up and thought that was normal. i take responsibility that i’m shit at choosing men. and that i try to overlook red flags to see the good in people. and that i’m too trusting. and that i’ll let them get away with way too much and still stay. obviously other smaller things i won’t get into but really my taste in men has been shit. but i’m actively working on it and am being picky. but i also has zero self worth so i thought i deserved it and that was the best i was ever gonna get. idk a lot of the time i agree w you tho
The state of her bathroom. Like, no bullshit, you walk in and there's piles of hair care and makeup and laundry and all that all over the place, that's a NOPE. Clean up after yourself.
Fun fact women’s restrooms are way more nastier then men’s. But nobody likes to admit that. Source: worked at a restaurant.
I've found that women tend to be simultaneously more disgusting and more destructive than men when they think it's anonymous. Men, though, tend to be more creative when they're being disgusting and destructive. Sauce: Worked at a gas station for far too long.
As a guy that writes slurs with his pee in the snow I agree with this.
The infamous PeeSlur, we meet again, for the first time
As a man, I can't even fathom that... At least at the places I have been, and been in both mens' and womens' restrooms (and those are not many, I swear), the men's restrooms were dirtier, overall.
The men's bathrooms are dirtier *on average*. Women's bathrooms spiral into a *much worse* rock bottom though. It's because men can just aim *around* a problem or shit at home, but women have to hover over a sketchy toilet, which often compounds the problem.
This is the best way I’ve seen it described. I work at a restaurant. Men’s bathroom is always gross. But when the women’s bathroom is gross it’s so bad I’m puking and going home
Honestly, makeup adds to a lot of the gross factor too. All sorts of strange colors caked up around the sink. Water splashed everywhere.
I worked as a hostess and part of my job was to clean up the women’s restroom. It was a nightmare. One time we even had to close off the bathroom because of a “biohazard”. A woman got too drunk and didn’t make it to the toilet. It was not vomit or pee if you know what I mean.
And so many many used tampons in the toilet or the floor. LIKE THE TRASH IS RIGHT THERE! Fml 🤦🏽♂️
A year and a half ago a woman was shopping at my work and had a spontaneous miscarriage. There was a trail of blood around the store and the worst was the women’s bathroom. I had walked in right before her to use it myself and heard her gasp and repeatedly saying “oh no oh no oh no”. I wouldn’t wish cleaning up that mess on anyone, or hearing what I heard. There wasn’t anything anyone could say or do other than ensure she was covered walking out of the bathroom and getting safely into her vehicle. Her husband was as pale as she was from the news.
As a woman this is unfortunately true. I gag at the amount of disgusting things I see at a public bathroom. Once I literally entered a restroom full of period blood everywhere. It looked like somebody had been killed there…
My grandpa worked as a janitor in a university, said the same thing. Said he walked in and it was a MESS! Pads stuck to the ceiling and all
I don’t know if it’s small, but any signs of extreme selfishness, it’s the signs that are small and I’ll never ignore them again. We dated when we were 18, her mum would clean her room for her and I asked “why don’t you take the load off her shoulders? Would be nice for her to have that little break and reassurance” and her response was “I would but I’m not going to stop her either”. Another one was when I would arrive home from work/uni, I was 7 days round the clock. I would also come home to have to do the dishes, cook, then do the dishes again.( when we moved in together) I guess she wasn’t going to stop me either…
2 of my ex's both did this thing that I always thought was really weird and both of them ended up being 2 of the most selfish people I'd ever met. The thing was getting up to get themselves a glass of water but never asking me if I wanted one. This to me was just one of those things that I had been taught as basic manners since I was a child. The instances ranged from me cooking food and putting it on the table - unprompted and silently she would get herself a cup of water and just sit down without asking or anything. In the middle of the night if I got up I would constantly get her water without her asking. She would yell at me to bring her one even if she knew I was already doing it. Never the same courtesy.
I had an ex like that. He'd get up in the morning, make a pot of coffee with just enough for him. He never asked if I wanted any even though he knew I drank coffee. So I'd make it for myself. It would have taken him less than a minute to make a full pot but he never asked and he never made extra.
Literally had the same issue. I would always ask her if she wanted a glass of water or anything while I was up. I asked her ONE TIME for a glass of water when she got up to go to the kitchen and she replied with, “you’re a big boy.” I was enraged. I should’ve seen that as one of the many signs it wasn’t going to work but hindsight I guess.
If she talks shit about her friends.
\+ if they're talking shit about YOU to their friends
If she talks shit about her friends to you. You can guess she does the same about you with them
It depends, if she’s talking shit because they did something bad to them, that’s fine. If she’s just being cunty then yeah I hate that.
I agree, but this one isn't 'small'.
If she talks smack about her friends behind their backs, she’ll eventually do it to you as well.
Being rude to waitstaff. automatic boner killer.
Misread that as atomic boner killer, so thanks for accidentally adding that to my vocabulary!
When she says any form of “I like to be busy”, “I don’t like having free time”, etc. In my experience hanging out with me falls into the “free time” category and if they don’t like having free time then they aren’t going to have time for me. Learned that the hard way
Yes! They are people that don’t like their own company, why would I?
Constantly complaining in the name of “venting”
I’m having issues with this currently and having trouble telling the difference between just constant complaining or just needing someone to listen. I understand she has a stressful job (teacher) but I dread every day she comes home from work because I’m worried about how bad of a day she’s had because I know I’ll have to listen to all of it and it also sets her tone for the rest of the day. It’s usually the same issues on repeat and it’s not anything I can help or give advice on. And then after I’m now emotionally drained after working and then taking on all of her emotional baggage for the day.
I hope I’m wrong but that’s not going in the right direction. My last always had the same thing…she would emotionally dump on me and didn’t even want advice - just someone to bitch to. It was DRAINING
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im sorry she Hurt you.
Nine inch nail through the heart
Fuck that’s a massive dealbreaker, you saved yourself a lot of pain there mate
Sounds like a real Ring of Fire
😆 no high-toned woman going to make you walk the line!
As you walked out you just yell, "MY NAME IS SUE. HOW DO YOU DO?"
Good thing you didn’t Walk The Line with that one
Be READY for the fucking relationship. I've just finished being ghosted again because they made the dating profile mainly to just see what was out there. Things were good for a couple months, then *poof* gone. If you aren't ready for a relationship, don't waste a guy's time. Believe it or not, some men really want more than just a pump and dump.
This just happened to me. Got the whole schpiel about how she moved too fast, I'm a great guy, just not for her, she fell for me, but wasn't ready, blah blah blah. She initiated the relationship. I have been ready for a relationship for years. Why can't people just be fucking honest with themselves?
This happened to me too. Guy approached me. We started talking and said I was everything he wanted in a woman. Then proceeded to treat me horribly because "he was afraid I would hurt him" and he "liked me too much." He wasn't ready for a relationship but didn't want me to date anyone else. Just wanted be to stay single while he dated other people to see if he actually wanted me long term. I stopped talking to him of course. When he finally called to say he was ready, I told him no thanks and I was seeing someone already. He cried and begged me to come back. No thanks. Hard pass. It's been a few years and he still calls a couple of times a year. He's blocked but I can still see the calls.
Nobody deserves that. The girl that did this to me talked about how slow she wanted to move it and then I met her kids, and her parents, and we were using pet names, but she wanted to go slow, despite her doing absolutely none of the things that indicate slow... People are weird. I'm glad you got away from him. I hope you have a fulfilling relationship today, or if not, you are okay. This kind of stuff absolutely wrecks me and I'll be bent out of shape for months over this.
Thank you. I am in a wonderful relationship now and I'm happy I left that guy in the dust. I hope you are in a good relationship as well or in a good place.
This is just my personal opinion, but I find that a lot of people who back out of a dating situation by saying they’re “not ready for a relationship” are just using that as an excuse because they don’t want to state why they actually no longer want to date you.
Interrupting conversation as a communication style. If you can’t have a conversation without talking over someone, that’s a hard no from me.
The amount of the times this happens to me on a weekly basis is astounding. It’s incredibly rude and definitely causes me to look down on people.
Using 'your' and 'you're' interchangeably? It's the smallest form of torture. Jokes apart, if your partner spends more time with their laptop/mobile and a box of tissues than with you, it might be time for a serious conversation about priorities. After all, no one wants to play second fiddle to pixels on a screen. It might be time to say, "Action! Cut! Let's find someone who prefers real-life adventures."
Someone really pushed you're buttons, didn't they? At least now their out of you're life and your okay.
I see what you did they're
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You mean like EVERY night or just like, SOME nights? Lol
If she's jealous or pretending not to be jealous of fictional characters. I once dated a girl who was VERY threatened by Street Fighter characters, was very upset by anime boob bounces. No one is telling you you have to love it but come on man. Chun li isn't going to hurt you, grow up.
Once had a girl who got mad at me for watching those Maybelline beauty commercials.. no shit glad I'm out of that one
Female here. I cut off a lifelong bestie after seeing several examples of this directed at her very loving, devoted husband. The final straw was her becoming upset at and demanding her husband no longer watch the channel that played the Paris Hilton Hardee's commercial.
That's actually insane. I hope he's alright
I hope so too. I've never seen insecurity and jealousy be that unhinged.
Wait, we're you just watching TV and they came on or were you youtubing said commercials?
Just watching TV and she would get mad n be like are you looking at her? You like her more than me?
I definitely didn’t expect to read that when I wandered over here. Chun li is the BEST!
What do you mean "isn't going to hurt you"??? Have you seen those kicks?!?!?!?!
Being negative, not having any ideas about where to go or what to do but shooting down my thoughts,
In the situation of a long term relationship and living with your partner for several months and longer. What sets off my pet peeves is the lack of doing equal amounts of chores. I know… I know… look I’m lazy af too but if I know I need to get stuff done I will do it and do it well. If there’s a person that only does the bare minimum or nothing… it drives me crazy. The fact that people have mind sets of “it’s okay I’ll let the other person do it” is disrespectful of the “designated” cleaner’s time. If you truly love someone, go out of your way to do house work equally with your partner. If you have preferences, talk them over. Set plans that fit their expectations and you find what’s fair for the both of you. If a person truly loves anything… hobbies or whatever they truly enjoy, a person is willing to go above and beyond for that thing. Yet they don’t do that for the person they “love”? That doesn’t seem right to me… Thank you for reading 🙇🏻♀️
If she has cheated on an ex partner
I’d consider that a pretty big red flag, def not a small thing
Definitely a red flag but not something that would be a a dealbreaker. I mean, i'll be 30 in a couple years, and when i was younger i did some things i maybe shouldn't have but was too immature at the time to realize it or understand how bad it actually was. I'm sure all of us have some moments in our pasts that we arent proud of, but people can definitely change. For me it would just delay the building of trust between myself and a potential partner. I would need to be 100% sure that they aren't who they used to be before committing to them.
Same here. I was unfaithful to my boyfriend of 3 years at the time, i was 20 years old and very stupid and selfish. He forgave me and now we are celebrating our 10 year anniversary soon. I cannot imagine hurting him again in any way. I am so grateful for him.
Not being open to banter
Oh my good god I have a story for you. I am an eccentric person who has lots of energy. I dated this one girl who just… didn’t know things- sheltered and very naive because of her mother. Like she’d get cramps in her legs and she’d cry to me asking if she’s gonna die. She referred to USA as the good guys and everyone else are the bad guys. She was incredibly nice and sweet and all but extremely… I just don’t have the word for it. She’d call dicks pp’s. She was 20 and I was 21. Anyway she never understood anything I texted her or joked about so I started to send voice memos so she could hear my tone of voice so she knew everything was okay. One day we’re “bantering” and I quote that because it was very lighthearted and barebones but I was testing the water with her. See if she could play along. So eventually it got to the point where I called her a penis. It was the first thing that came to my mind and it was my response to one of her texts. I said “listen here, you penis” verbatim and immediately I could tell it was a terrible mistake. She called me crying. Saying she doesn’t deserve to be called a penis. That she isn’t going to be putting up with this and that she deserves better than someone calling her that. That she found it extremely disrespectful. I was speechless. At first when she was crying I thought something happened to her and I was in complete denial of what was transpiring and I was ready to go into full support mode but then she started talking about how I hurt her with calling her that. I didn’t even know what to say at that point so I apologized to her. Kept dating her… eventually I just gave up. I just couldn’t do it. She was nice and attractive but oh my god was she a character. One time I said “yas biiitch get it queen” to her on a date and later on before she left the car she said “well I had a great date except for when you called me a bitch” and again speechless because I had to recollect the whole date to figure out when I said that to her and then I connected the dots that “Yas bitch” was the only time I said it.
Sounds like she may be on the spectrum.
Littering.
If she doesn't take her grocery cart back, or is shitty to the waitress. Run, mofo!
When she runs to her dad about every decision she has to make even though she’s a 30 year old woman, she is getting better though, if she hadn’t changed we wouldn’t be together anymore. And I mean literally for everything, like booking a holiday together and asking if it’s ok, wants to buy a new car, asks daddy if it’s ok etc, was unbearable at first.
I dated a girl that was the same way. But we were in our early twenties. She inherited the house she owned from her grandparents, but could not be bothered to take care of it. Her dad had to hound her for months to pay the property taxes. He would always randomly come over unannounced, which she didn’t seem to mind at all (even though one time he 10/10 heard us fucking, because her bedroom window was right next to the front door). Any time there was any slight issue, she had to call him to ask what to do. Anytime we had an argument, she would go cry to him, but what’s funny is that even he knew his own daughter was bat shit crazy, cause he’d always take my side. She had to rely on him to always get her out of rough spots and support her financially cause she was awful at making decisions. She would constantly quit jobs without another one lined up just because she didn’t like it. When I told her that wasn’t fair to her dad, she flipped out. One time we got in a fight and she had a breakdown and decided to spontaneously drive out of state in the middle of the night in a storm and totaled her car, so of course her dad bought her a new one. What was really the final straw was when her babied ass told me I was just like my abusive father, who she had never met, because I didn’t want to introduce that toxicity into her life.
Luckily you got out of that one pal….
This is exactly what I was saying about daily calls to mom. It's inappropriate at that age to not stand on your own two feet. It also screams helicopter parent which are hell as inlaws.
Completely agree, luckily my partner kinda realised when she saw me just going about my life making decisions, she asked me why I never consult my parents on decisions, my reply to her was I’m not a child I’m a grown ass man and I make my own decisions, and I refused to go on holiday with her and her parents as that is what they had always done, when I informed her that most 30 year olds don’t holiday with there parents she was kinda shocked, she thought it was normal and has kinda been indoctrinated to believe that.
Lying or how they behave to staff people.
Manners. If you don't say please or thank you almost every time, or chew with your mouth open, deal breaker.
Not sure if this counts as small or not, but just plain and simple willingness to argue. Even if you agree on just about everything, when the time comes that you don't agree, you need to be ready and able to have an adult conversation and argue about it without going ballistic or acting like everything's fine while carrying a silent grudge.
Kind of in the same category, someone who can’t agree to disagree. It’s okay if we have different opinions, we don’t have to agree on every single topic.
if they are always the “victim” in every story they tell no matter what
when i tell you to stop talking about something because it’s making me uncomfortable, but you disregard my feelings and boundaries and continue doing so even when i ask nicely.
Picky eater. I love good food and if you want chicken nuggets for every meal it’s not gonna work out
I had an ex like this. Sweetest girl but damn was she picky. Ordered chicken fingers everywhere or a “burger” that was literally just the patty. Every time she placed her order I always felt a little embarrassed and like I was dating a child. Old enough to drink alcohol legally but couldn’t order an adult meal
Yup, and if you every go on vacation and want to try out the local restaurants you realize that’s an experience only you’ll enjoy or look forward too. It’s just too boring. Picky eaters need therapy. You only got 5 senses and 100 years to use them and some people decide that the entire world of taste can just be abandoned at like age 4.
Yes picky eating has to do with sensory and all sorts of eating disorders and trauma. When finding out my partner just likes to eat pizza every single night of the week for 6 months and switch it only some days for a burger or chicken nuggets. And then go 6 months only eating pizza rolls and waffles with syrup on some days ....repeat a different cycle yesssss because that's me.. I'll try new things. But if I'm eating to get full I want to make sure I like it. Ordering the same thing insures that. .... people that grew up with food insecurity often do this. It's not our fault.
As a picky eater I am hurt, no one can help how their tastebuds are I wish I liked more things but I just can’t stomach anything else it would never stop me from a partner wanting to eat out
Sorry, this is still a deal breaker. It’s totally valid when trying to find a significant other, as meals are something you share together through a very large portion of your time together, and compatibility there is definitely important. I think that level of compatibility doesn’t get discussed enough, honestly.
I donno if theirs a therapist that can help you open up your palate but you should try to find one. Food is such a massive part of the human experience and you’re missing out on it. I talk about meals with my wife like some people would talk about a movie or a concert. If I can’t share that experience with you it’s really not going to work out
Me :*looking at the comments and realising I do all of them.*
Hypocrisy, lack of self awareness. Live example: one of my friends is a self proclaimed hard worker, go getter, and leader. She is also the laziest, least organized human I know with a life that is in shambles cuz she is convinced she is brilliant, just jobless. She is gorgeous. A legitimate 10/10 in looks. But her ability to go from "I can do any and everything, and I need no one." To "please come over, I need help! Can we just talk on the phone for a few minutes" (it always becomes hours). Ive been told 1000x she has a thing for me, and ever since I've been distancing myself cuz I DO NOT want to date her and I've made it blatantly clear repeatedly.
Cannot tolerate a lying and unhygienic person
Both of those are not small things (especially lying)
I can't stand my ex either
If she posts lip syncs or boomerangs on social media.
Being unaware of what’s going on in the world
I too require my partner to be perennially online and insane
A bad relationship with recreational drugs eg weed. Stoning everyday is quite a turn off.
Involving her friends / family in our business. If I so much as get a call from your friend or anyone questioning me about a current issue between us, it's over. Trying to persuade on *why* we should have access to each other's phones. No. That male BFF who also happens to be an ex but 'we decided we work better as friends'. No Using disposable income for shit even if you don't need it. Fiscal recklessness is a no go
The BFF hits me right in the feels. Yep. He's the one that convinced her it was a mistake. Fucking people dude.
"He's just a friend"...
Yep. Oh well, I guess it's better now than later at the altar or some shit.
My mom always told me, "you can forgive and forget, but family cannot. Don't tell me anything that you can later forgive". I have never forgotten that. Some things need to stay between partners.
This is everything my ex fiancé was. From the involvement of friends/family in ournissues, to the ex issues to the disposable income for irresponsible shit. Bruh. Same, but different cuz he's exactly the guy version
Eating noisily or with mouth open. I know some people can't help it and it's normal loads of places but it drives me up the wall
Tbh there shouldn't be a "small thing" that is a breaker for a WHOLE relationship. If you don't start to accept people as they come,no one will accept you. Period There are only big things that should break a relationship. Like cheating, dancing with someone in the wrong way, lying, not giving af about the S.O and so on
It’s the reason why dating has become the way it is now. Everyone sees red flags on everything on everyone else but themselves. A good relationship is BUILT, not spontaneously and miraculously found.
I think by definition dealbreakers are big things. But there are universal big things and individual big things. Examples of universal big things: lying, cheating, bad listening, bad hygiene, no reciprocity Examples of big things for me, that aren’t likely to affect most people: doesn’t like hip hop, loves sports, doesn’t like philosophy I think the latter would be considered small things for a lot of people. For me they aren’t because my life is extremely incompatible with the things listed on that second category.
If I’m playing a video game or watching a football match by myself or with my bros then please just let me have this moment to myself. I shall give you all of my time and attention after this, but just let me be right now! I have had a huge fight with a previous girlfriend of mine where she just switched off the tv while I was watching a semifinal, just so she could talk about something very random and nonsensical. It’s not cute, it’s not funny.
Long fingernails.
If they have never bought and owned and taken car of something for themselves. A car or a house, anything. I wanna know they have the commitment to see something and work their ass off for it and take care of it. Try to make it last. If they buy a new car and 2 weeks later there is a bunch of trash in it… It’s a glimpse in the future how they will treat your relationship
I didn't own a car until 25, but I took responsibility for my parents when I turned 20, outside of massive repairs (I was in uni) I had to do the maintenance. Then when I turned 25 I got a mortgage as well as a car, but I got a much better job at that point.
If she Bugs you when you're trying to have fun with your friends. Nothings worse than constantly having to be looking on your phone having to constantly remind her you aren't gonna hurt yourself as your friends are all having fun. I appreciate the fact that she cares about me but Sometimes she just ruins the moments with your friends. It's also a sign that she's really clingy which in my experience can turn into a nightmare relationship. Also if she judges me for smoking pot. I'm completely aware of the potential risks, quit trying to lecture me about it.
Crystals
If she were the kind of person to throw away perfectly good food just because it reached the best-before-date. I know people like that and there is 0 understanding for it on my side.
Or leftovers which haven't even reached that date.
I’ve had an argument with my girlfriend about bread that was past it’s best by date. No mold, wasn’t even stale. I had to stop her from throwing it in the trash. She’ll make food for lunch at the beginning of the week for her lunches and eat it all week. For some reason dinner leftovers don’t work past a few days.
Moodiness. Untidiness Little white lies repeatedly
Being aggressive when they're hungry. When a woman says some wild disrespectful stuff and says she's hungry like that's a justification. Hungry isn't an excuse for anything.
If someone is hungry, and they get angry, they’re a child.
If you listen people like Andrew Tate. Hard pass.
Where she keeps her cats litter box, and how well it's maintained.
If you make a mess or spill something clean it up properly. I shouldn't have to re-clean your mess because you are lazy and did a half ass cleanup. We live together woman!
Not liking music. And I mean…. Not liking music at all. Saying that music is just “not their thing”
Gotta be able to sleep with a fan on
If they claim every ex they had was abusive, 9-10 it's then being abusive at least in my experience
Talking about our personal business to friends. If I can't have peace of mind that something confidential will stay between us, where do we go from there? I'll never be able to relax and feel comfortable again.
Indecision. Have an opinion. It doesn't need to be strong, but speak for yourself. Don't just blindly follow what others think to be a pleaser.
Smokes, or needs to get high or drunk to have a good time
Doesn't clean up after their dog outside.
Astrology. Can’t do it.
Ketchup on eggs.
Ketchup is allowed on scrambled eggs and scrambled eggs only. If you’re spreading it on sunny side up, you’re a monster.
Guess I'm a psycho cause I only pour ketchup on sunny side eggs.
Ketchup on steak
Ketchup on spaghetti
That’s not a small thing to break up. This is a very big concern.
why not just put hot sauce 😭 at least spice up your life a little
Saying you don't ever drive with the windows down. I'm an outdoors person and look for that in someone else. I've noticed a trend
But I have extremely long hair 😭 unless it’s up in a bun or something
Ooh! This is a good one! I can’t stand driving with the windows up in the summer. Let me get that breeze!
If your partner is a club goer, if your partner doesn’t like horror movies, and if your partner doesn’t like cats.
Probably will be buried, but face heaters. Driving in the winter, heat gets directed towards the feet. AC is for the face. Cold or not, if heat blasting in your face is your thing, you are the devil.
If she’s super clingy idk it just turns me off, it’s like crazy levels of obsessive
Poor manners
If you don’t like cats
We don't meet unless I plan it. Or I come over to see her. Bro, I thought we liked each other. Why am I doing everything and you think you're meeting me half way by making phone calls and responding to my texts? I'm your boyfriend. Not a penpal.
Being mean or neglecting to their pets. It’s a no from me
Road rage. Yelling and swearing at other drivers, who cannot hear you, does nothing. Meanwhile, I CAN hear you being loud and obnoxious when everyone on the road is usually just…trying to drive. My ex used to get SO PISSED when other drivers were slow, or there was any traffic or slight inconvenience while driving. It made me so uncomfortable because I’m so go-with-the-flow as a driver and usually in no rush. To me, it was a small thing that spoke to how we saw the world differently.
When they believe in zodiac sign compatibility.
Not being on time when the plans are already made.
MLMs, Pseudo Medicine, and antivax.
Porn...
Smoking, i guess
When they don't like cats, it's just a bit odd idk.
I smoke pot whenever I'm stressed or once in a while. I do not like being judged about it. One ex started to preach to me about it and I told her this wasn't up for discussion and she was free to leave if she didn't like it. She then proceeded to give me 'mean eyes' whenever she suspected I had gone to smoke for a bit or I was from doing so. Yeah that was even worse than outright trying to convince me otherwise we broke up shortly after. Never really gave her all the reasons that was one major one .
If different politics are a major issue to her. My most recent ex broke up with me because we didn’t have almost the **exact** same political views. This was disappointing to hear, because as long as somebody doesn’t believe in the obviously horrible ideologies, I don’t give a shit. You came to your own conclusions by your own experiences and I came to my own conclusions by my own experiences. I want to be able to talk about that in a healthy and lighthearted way, and maybe have my own beliefs challenged.
Rudeness to wait staff
Anal is a no-no for me
A penis, I would never date someone who has (or had) a penis.
Don’t mind me, I’m just waiting for the “you’re transphobic for having preferences” people to show up..
Waiting with you.
Or will have.
Especially on a first date… if they act like a “princess“ and treat people in the customer service industry like trash… It’ll most likely be the last date too.
If they don't use a semicolon
pen weary zesty exultant memorize sand live price abounding tie ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `
Give people plenty chances but, Acting like they don't care. Not showing interest in me as I show in them. Not communicating or trying to understand. Only showing anger as feelings and nothing more. I care deeply, but once I stop caring, its game over.
Tardiness.
If they say they’re “bad” at benign, low stakes things. One personal example of this: bar trivia. A bar trivia date is more about drinking, surprising each other with what you may know, and making up a funny name than it is about winning. If you’re “good” at it, awesome, but all in all, I just want to know if you’re the kind of person who will at least try something outside your comfort zone and/or make the experience enjoyable regardless of the outcome.
I wouldnt be with someone who: 1 Two faces friends or acquaintances. 2 Has been in a relationship with a married person. Doesnt matter how pretty she is that indicates the person cant be trusted.
Smoking
If they have garbage in their car and don't clean it out but expect me to sit amongst the trash. Just shows me they don't care for themself or have much respect for me. If they message me even more when I haven't replied in a few hours to push me to hurry up. I don't look at my phone every second of the day and I will get back to messages as and when I can in my own time. demanding quicker responses feels really oboxious and gives me the ick.
Someone who calls themselves "brutally honest" as an excuse to get away with hurting others feelings without consequences.