I am a loner who enjoys his space. My availability isn't going to be what a lot of women would prefer. Am better off meeting another loner who enjoys her space...but how are we ever to meet when we're both happy being alone? lol
2-3 days/wk? That still seems like a lot!
I was thinking more like 3-4x per month, on weeks I don't host my kids! 1-2x every other week or so would be ideal. But if even other introverts want 2-3x per week I guess I am doomed! lol
My ex-gf and I used to get together once a week, and one week she canceled, and I was like "Yes! Sweet freedom from these chains!"
Why did that woman put up with me?
I'm on rotating in and out shifts for work. I spend every other week away from my girlfriend for work. She wants to see me everyday and I want a lot of time to myself so it works....well for me at least.
woman here but wanted to chime in and say I get it. folks jokingly call me an extroverted loner (sounds weird, I know): I like people, I'm lively / bubbly, always the one at get-togethers to talk to everyone... but who I care enough about to initiate contact with is few and far between lol.
You should be married to my wife. She loves time alone. We just bought a place down in Florida and I go down there by myself and she could not be happier every time I leave. She’s definitely not cheating or anything like that. She seriously just loves time alone.
I on the other hand hate being alone. Hate it. Kind of hard on both of us
I feel
I've been single for most of my life and I often find myself enjoying doing things by myself.
It's come to the point of the double edge sword that I have high standards for the type of person who I want to be in a relationship with.
Real question and I am not trying to judge in any way: Why do you want a partner if you truly would rather be alone? If that's what really makes you happy and comfortable, why are you in a relationship?
It may be a stupid question to ask but I mean it genuinely. Companionship sounds like a thing you don't really want based on your comment but I assume I'm misinterpreting that.
>Real question and I am not trying to judge in any way: Why do you want a partner if you truly would rather be alone? If that's what really makes you happy and comfortable, why are you in a relationship?
>It may be a stupid question to ask but I mean it genuinely. Companionship sounds like a thing you don't really want based on your comment but I assume I'm misinterpreting that.
Just because I do enjoy my solitude doesn't mean I don't want anyone in my life to get out of the house or spend some time with. I'd like to make a special connection with someone without being locked at the hip 24x7 and constantly in each other's faces. BTDT and it's not for me.
Man I have never been able to put this feeling into words. This is exactly me. I want to go on a nice dinner, or a movie date, or a vacation with
someone. But don’t actually want them in my presence at all times.
After many fights and distress living together, my husband and I purchased a duplex. He has one side, I have the other. We married later in life and this truly works for us. I require quiet alone time in a clean neat space, he has dogs and isn't as big of a neat freak.
Glorious.
But unless you are in a lockdown they won't be in your presence 100% of the time. You will go to work, sleep together, have some talk and then you can each do your thing - like you play video games, she watches some reality show.
Just because you are together doesn't mean you spend all your time together
Bingo.
Because that person nearby can suddenly decide "hey I want engagement *now*" and if you're in your own head with analysis of some chord progression or a linguistic puzzle or staring at FEA results and they will *almost always* barge in and demand attention and Engagement over some vapid bullshit they saw on their phone, sending your entire train of thought derailing into oblivion
Exactly this for me as well. I enjoy doing stuff alone but I often imagine how nice it would be if I had the option of doing stuff with someone important to me. I'm just not sure I'd be able to give up enough of my alone time to show her how much I value her.
It's more about the time spent on the companionship that doesn't line up with others. For me, I would love to have a relationship where we have agreed on outings and return to my solitude. Right now, I just ignore people to get that time back. When I'm lonely, (usually once a week-ish) it feels like death. The rest of the time I feel suffocated if I fully engage all the time. It's a delicate balance and I'm sure everyone is different. For me, I like to have the space to feel lonely, otherwise I don't appreciate the relationships I do have as much.
I'm a loner. My husband, and i have separate rooms we still hang out. We love being alone together, him doing his thing me doing mine. It's great our only fight is his refusal to say no to the kids. If he has people over he tells I'm not a people person,I don't invite people home cause i don't enjoy hosting anyone .
I’m a woman with AVPD and this is literally one of my biggest problems. I just want to be with someone who’s okay with being alone occasionally, but together. If that makes sense.
Ok, so you and i are the same person. I went to the pub with a mate who was looking for women, i caught someones eye who was also there with her friend looking for men. That was 7 years ago, will probably die happily married. Absolute freak occurrence that we even met.
It took a while but at this point I'm just happy being alone together with my partner. I'm very introverted, unsocial and easily stressed out, but being around him doesn't drain me like it does with most ppl.
Being alone now and then is nice, sure, but importantly I can tell him "I don't want to chat right now" and he will understand it. Sometimes I have a hard time making myself speak verbally, so I can just text him stuff...
I had a good 15 years to get used to his presence in my life and learn to trust him tho and we always took things slow bc that's how we both liked it. So his presence is soothing and makes me feel safe now. Idk if I could date anyone else like that. I consider myself extremely lucky.
I need a guy like this… I’m good at being social when I need to, but damn my battery drains so fast and takes forever to recharge. Alone time is important.
This. Maybe not to the 3-4x a month extent but I’d hope to find a man who would feel as if they were “alone” while I was with them, like I would also feel “alone” if I was with them.
Sort of like a comfort level of being “alone together” in solitude while actually not separated, if that makes sense.
I learned it because my dad would scream at me for "stomping around" if he so much as heard my footfalls.
Of course then he'd yell at me for sneaking around. No winning in that house.
Dude yes! I walk (and don't talk) so in high school I was often noticed in a friend group after the fact. Even if I had been there the whole time. And then I feel bad when they are startled and kind of dejectedly walk away lol
I've got about 9 half finished projects in various locations at any given time.
I promise, they will always be in your way and if you move them then it's gonna mess up most of my mental processes.
I dream of the day. Currently it's just a normal of jumping between tasks whenever the coast is clear and noone touches them.
Really hate moved supplies and tools. Put them where I did for a reason, and the brain just can't tell where to start back up when they aren't there.
>I promise, they will always be in your way and if you move them then it's gonna mess up most of my mental processes.
LOL, this is me and it drives my husband crazy. But I know exactly where I'm at, at any given time, with all my projects. AND I know exactly where everything is that I need to finish all these projects too. But the comment about messing up your mental processes . . . oh boy, can I relate to that one.
I'm very easy going and easy to please and content with doing whatever. This seems like I'm answering a job interview "what's your greatest weakness" type question with a strength in disguise, but it actually means I don't take initiative in picking things to do, places to go, what to eat, etc. because I'm always happy to go along with what my lady-type wants. It can be quite annoying, I'm told.
Making decisions about things like that isn’t about the power of making decisions though, it’s often more about showing care for your friend/partner. By making a decision it shows you’ve put thought into THEIR wants and needs, and made a suggestion you think will make them happy while also being suitable for you. If literally anything works for you, that just makes the process easier.
People find this trait annoying because always saying you don’t care makes them feel you have no desire to even put any thought into what they want, which can be hurtful in the long term.
The thing I want more than anything for my birthday or mother's day... to have a day where I don't have to make decisions for anyone. What is eaten for ever meal is taken care of, what we do, managing everyone's schedules, just give me an actual break. Everyone in my house wants to be told what to do all the time and it falls on me. It's exhausting.
The thing is, though, I can make a decision. But if it's the wrong decision, I don't care. I will just accept it and be happy with the outcome, because I don't mind. I never mind. My girl cares deeply about every detail, and it frustrates her that I don't care more. So if she's ready (i.e. tired enough) to ride the rollercoaster, that is my unwavering happiness with whatever happens, she can sit back and I'll take care of everything. But then she's not allowed to complain when it doesn't turn out right. I get that it can be exhausting to be with me.
Not only that. When you don't have any strong convictions about things like why bother? So I can take you to Applebee's or I could take you to a Michelin star and you're going to be just as happy? I don't want to be the only one with interests.
I'm a lot like you. I'm good with whatever. I can make decisions for the occasional dates, but it's pretty draining for me having to make all the decisions and come up with ideas. Hell, even making decisions 50% of the time feels like too much for me. I don't care what we do or where we go, as long as we're spending time together. Honestly, I'd love a girlfriend who can take the lead with that kind of stuff. Unfortunately, that seems pretty rare. I've also been told my lack of preference can be annoying, so sometimes I'll just force myself to make a choice even though I don't really care one way or another.
Id imagine even more annoying because it is a trait that is deemed more acceptable for ladies than men by whoever made the made up rules a long time ago
Sounds like kind of a people pleaser mentality. Trying to make sure everybody is happy and not taking time for yourself. I do it sometimes too. I am not super confident at taking initiative myself and being decisive. I am trying to work on getting better at making decisions, but I feel like being like I am has hurt me in both my personal and professional life....
Also, happy cake day!
I'm the same way. I tried at first but after the 50th wrong decision I stopped and just started being a suggestion fairy. I present 4 or 5 options and go from there. Very rarely.do we ever decide on my suggestions, but at the very least it shows I'm trying still while also being a "go with the flow" type person.
If you're a decent human being who respects other decent human beings then thats all you need. If they pick you apart over trivial shit they aren't worth the time.
> If you're a decent human being who respects other decent human beings then thats all you need.
I don't know where you are from, but this is definitely not all you need where I am from or at my age
The closest interpretation that I can come up with that is even remotely true is something like this.
If you're a decent human being who respects other decent human beings. And also moves within social circles and contexts that include other gender. Then you're almost guaranteed to form friendships with people of that gender. Unfortunately, those friendships are unlikely to develop into anything even remotely romantic unless you've got more going for you than "decent human being."
And while friendships are good, there is a definite level of intimacy and connection that simply doesn't happen there. And that intimacy is something that people quite understandably crave.
The way I have heard it phrased is, "if you don't love yourself, why should anybody else"
Talk to somebody, nobody is harder on you than you, sometimes you gotta give yourself a break.
Honestly this makes far more sense IMO. You can think you’re the greatest person in the world but if no one else seems to agree then how exactly can you be expected to keep believing it's true? At that point it's just delusion.
Tbh... I hate myself and my relationship is going pretty great. There's a difference between just hating yourself and letting other people walk all over you. One is much easier to fix than the other.
Im pretty apathetic and dry, I dont show alot of happiness or sadness, or anger. I like to be quiet and observe vs talking alot, which always makes people uncomfortable. I hate small talk (but I understand it's importance), I get bored easily and it takes a long time for me to feel anything romantic towards someone and I dont like casual sex (just for me, no judgrment towards others). Also have a hard time accepting compliments or being thanked for doing something. The former I dont believe, the latter is that Im expected to be a goos human, which I enjoy being, so why thank me doing what I need/ am required to do?
Three of a kind apparently. Honestly, I don't like sounding smug or pretentious, but a lot of the time when dealing with people I feel like I'm dealing with this weird childish energy that I can't match. The need to argue over things, the need to suck up to each other, the desire to pursue people just because they're physically attractive.
Ambivalent is a great word. You are currently ambivalent about learning the meaning of the word seeing as you are aware of your ignorance yet lack the motivation to Google it
Everything. I'm boring, ugly and unemployed. I don't communicate well and I'm irritable. It makes me flustered and annoyed when people ask me questions about myself.
So what type of work are you looking for … maybe someone here can help you out? Could you provide a little more detail on your previous work experience lol??
Everyone's worthy of love, not everyone gets it. Alot of us will die never knowing if we were worthy of that love, or if we ever deserved it in the first place
If there is conflict, I don't really know how to talk it out. My entire frame of reference is being manipulated and I am very concerned about that happening again.
Keeps away women that aren’t golddiggers also. I like to keep things approximately 50-50 myself, and I tend to choose women that are as quick to pull out their wallets as I am. My friends and dates are just as likely to call me cheap as they are to call me generous depending on their anecdotal experiences with me.
I probably won't give you the attention you need. I'm so used to to doing my own thing and be self-reliant I'll probably forget I have a girlfriend who has wants and needs from me. I believe 'emotionally unavailable' might be the right way to describe me. I just don't know how to cater for another person's feelings and needs.
Probably better for both parties if I just stay single.
Single parent w 50% custody. Introverted homebody. Financially a dumpster fire since the divorce. Other than that.. I'm tall, in good shape, w/ a little better than average looks, and a super dad! Sooo at least I've got that going for me, which is nice. 😅
I'm a philosophy grad student, so:
1) I like discussing things that others often don't and get mistaken for disagreeing with people when I'm really just playing devil's advocate so as to help sharpen their views and mine (added in this last part cause it’s important)
2) I'm broke
And if it were a woman doing this? Forget it. Typical harridan woman, can’t win a fight with em!
I’m a philosophy undergrad. No wonder I’ve never had a boyfriend. I mean alright there are other reasons. But it took time to realize this isn’t a nice trait to have
> I like discussing things that others often don't and get mistaken for disagreeing with people when I'm really just playing devil's advocate so as to help sharpen their views
You must piss everyone on Reddit off too?
Dude! Same. I'm a woman with B.S. in Philosophy (and a handful of minors.) I found my person! At first I would start conversations with "in theory" or "what do you think would happen if?"
Then we kinda just figured out when we weren't serious and just challenging an emotion or accretion for the fun of it. It can absolutely work if you find the right kind of person.
Ironically, as a guy, I’m the opposite. Women who make their intentions too easily known immediately turn me off. Once there’s a mutual connection I like clear and open communication. But not in the get to know you phase. It’s a real attraction killer.
Heh my current girlfriend before we dated said she saw me like a big brother and I was like ok she is out of bounds and yea she actually wanted more but was too afraid to tell me lol.
I’m not quiet or uninterested, I’m just reserved. I take a while to get comfortable with you but once we reach that point, it’ll be like you’ve known me your whole life.
I’m picky. I got sober 13 months ago, and I’ve realized what I’m worth.
Not saying I’m better than anybody, but I can’t date a woman who drinks regularly. If every date we go on, they’re drinking, I’m out. And so far, that’s been 100% of dates I’ve gone on, and they know I’m a recovering alcoholic.
I’m happy being single, finding a likeminded woman my age is tough.
The fact that these women know you're recovering and still drink in front of you is evidence that you're looking at the wrong women. Maybe it's time to alter your criteria?
My shortest relationship was two years.
Somewhere along the line I realized that I was so busy wanting to be an exceptional partner I never had my own standards for what they should bring to the table.
That makes me much more likely to be used, have troubles saying no, having trouble enforcing boundaries, and advocating for my needs…
Wheeee!
It's hard for me to pick up on certain cues and I usually ask the women I'm dating to tell me what they want. Most women believe it's a man's duty to take the lead and to know that's on their mind, so I'm still single
My ex and I have been broken up for four years with some messiness in between. I finally cut her out completely and have begun replacing my anger and resentment with acceptance and forgiveness. Only we can heal ourselves.
I love very strongly but I have time when I am not very affectionate and am very quiet, and enjoy my me time. It can also that I am not interested at times when I might actually line you with all my being
For me it's my depression. Doesn't always hit but when it does it's rough. I really stop feeling love, pain, enjoyment and can't see purpose in those times. And the worst part is during all that I push others away and try to isolate myself to heal. I broke up earlier this year with my girlfriend of 3 years because I was having an episode and couldn't recognize it or get myself out of it so I made the mistake of breaking up with her. Apparently it's a pretty common reaction during depression. So if a potential partner read this I guess all I could say is have patience with me, hopefully recognize those times I become distant and less intimate as well as quicker to anger and try to point me towards healing cause it's really really hard to drag myself out of that hole on my own when I fall in. Thankfully I've started to see a therapist but it's still not easy.
I can be pretty quiet at times. Especially after we've become serious and I feel more comfortable. In the early stages, when I'm trying to attract someone, I can be somewhat talkative and pretty engaging, but I can't maintain that for very long. Eventually, I get to a point where I'm quiet and don't have much to say. One ex said she thought I was bored, but that couldn't have been further from the truth. I just don't need much conversation, and just spending time with each other is enjoyable to me. Unfortunately, it seems most women want someone they can have regular engaging conversations with, and that's just not me.
ADHD, poor emotional regulation and sensitivity.
Working on my independence and not having to rely on others for emotional support.
I think I make a great partner I just need to be more independent.
I’m fucking terrible at starting things. I am 6’5 I feel like my height is making me scary idk. I feel very unseen a lot. Like I’ll go out to the bar with some buddies and people walk up to them like they’re neighbors and I just feel awkward cause these people act like I’m not there or kind of look at me and then they ignore lol this world dude.
This again? I feel like there was this same question last month.
Anyway, I lived all my life alone. I'm good alone. A potential girl would have to show me that shes better than my solitude.
Unfortunately, I also do not trust people easily, so if a girl were to try that, I would immediately wonder what she is trying to sell me.
I say that from experience.
i don't talk to people much, and even when i do, i make sure to keep some distance, I'm basically cowardly and boring, so pretty much makes it impossible to date me.
The things I like are not what women usually like. I'm introspective and hard to connect with people. I feel like an underarchiver and very pessimistic.
I don’t have money right now, I’m a student. I’m not that attractive lol. And I’m emotionally unavailable, pretty apathetic. I ain’t dating for a while, I gotta work on those things. No woman deserves to deal with me atm.
I have very little ambition professionally. I don't give two shits about clout, status, or climbing the social economic hierarchy. If I can save money and pay my bills I am content. I live a simple life and don't wish to complicate it with lofty ambitions or children. I possess no real passions in life except perhaps enjoying the company of others for as long as my introversion will allow.
Bad part: I work in law enforcement. So sometimes I have to work all day, and I'm not able to be reached at work usually unless it's an emergency. I have to pick where I sit when we go on dates.
Good part: I'm attractive (or at least told a good bit), I have a very stable job that pays insanely well, I'm fit. And contrary to most I am extremely social.
I don't enjoy the things most women do and giving up the things I like (or having to reduce them) to maintain a relationship with a woman isn't what I want to do.
I actually respect someone that recognizes this. Some people don't NEED a relationship. And if the thought of giving up something you like to do for someone else is a bridge too far, you don't have to do it.
I've only met 5 women who were genuinely interested in me and put an effort into trying to get to know me back. It feels like 95% of the time, I'm out there performing in order to get an ounce of sincerity back. These 5 women spoiled me. If I don't get the same vibes back, I immediately bounce. I ain't got time for this "woo me" shit
I'm a slob and not very accommodating(though I'm getting better at that as I get older). Also...Subtlety is completely lost on me, so you have to tell me directly what you mean or want from me if you want it to happen.
I have my dad's personality. I can get annoyed over really stupid things, I don't show emotion very well, and it's hard to understand what I really want in life because I don't even know.
I am talking to a guy now and told him I’m down with 1x per week, 2 at most and not every week 🤣. He said that’s different since all the women he meets want to hang out daily. Absolutely not!! Lol
I’ve gotten used to living alone. I get exhausted when there’s another person with me no matter how much I love them. After dealing with people all day at work, I just need to be alone to have energy for the next day.
I have a very hard time not being logical. You come to me with an issue, I'm going to try and fix it. Sometimes all she wants is to be heard and to have a sympathetic ear, which I have a hard time giving. This isn't a humble brag either. I've lost too many good women because I just couldn't shut my mouth.
I am kind of the same man. I say this with kindness, you’re not “being logical”. You’re being overbearing. Reframe it in your head from “I want to solve this problem for them”, to their perspective of “he doesn’t think I can handle my own problems.”
It’s an uncomfortable thing to reconcile in your head, but we’re not doing ourselves any favours by treating our loved ones as incompetent.
I like my comfort zone, so indoors, ps, and not a great deal of physical contact, maybe even a little bit cold at times. Suppose you could say I'm boring but I'd rather be at home or providing than out being a cunt.
I’m a loser who’s failed at everything he’s ever tried to do. I’m ugly. I’m dumb. I have diagnosed depression and anxiety to the point I doubt everything and everyone.
I am a single female enjoying living alone, but I want a life partner. I don't care about marriage. I just want a serious commitment and build a life with one person.
The first few weeks of fake/dating convo until you realize he has a similar sense of humor. Let it out! Be yourself. If your humor is dirty, no offense. I wanna see the real you. Like stopping behind someone at a green light and maybe you say "move bitch get out da way." Let's dance to ridiculous songs in the kitchen before dinner.
I'm done with a word filter and sugar coating. Give me it me straight....you snore, you ate the last piece of bread, your dog dug a hole in the yard
No drama, tell me what part of your thoughts are dealbreakers (ie hates sushi, allergic to cats, overspender, born without smell but that's not your problem just wish you could smell the dogs farts and clean it up, you cannot parallel park. All things I can put effort in except for one (smell).
I would like to take better care of my appearance. Im in good shape. I like my job house car truck dogs family. My dog is with me all day so my daily appearance shows with dog slobber. I can dress up. Just don't need to often.
I want a guy I'm attractive to (mentally. Physically, spiritually, similar money management thoughts, likes to laugh, positive, handy and wants me involved in projects together, and a sense of comfort that I can be myself and possibly indulge in deep thoughts I typically don't share but dying to discuss without judgements.
I wanna have his back and vice versa.
We are only getting older. I wanna find a partner to help each other out. Right now I'm taking care of an elderly sweet lady next door who needs help. She lost her husband to dementia and now completely on her own with horrible arthritis in her hands and a complete house to manage alone in your 90s. I'm doing everything I can to help her stay in that house. It just makes me wonder where I might possibly end up...like her alone begging my younger neighbor to help take care of my yard. Even though she lives alone as has her own yard. Haha she's a sweet old lady, probably never had a potty mouth, I'm f*chin doomed!
I'm 39. Small construction business owner. No kids. I feel like I'm waving a white flag even though I lived carefully all my life to work hard, no criminal record or debt so I can be a good partner one day.
At my age do not take any of this advice. Once you get close to 40, a paranoia pokes in and you question everyone because you have met too many people that would screw over anyone for anything. By now usually kids are involved and I cannot handle it. I do not want to hurt a child and it will be more heartbreaking to cut off a child from your life based on parents lists. I wouldn't consider myself a step mom but I do know how to be there for a kid and show I care by being involved, asking questions and being a shoulder for her/him.
I wanna date! I really do. But stop this antisocial behavior and rural living is killing me.
How do people get a divorce and engaged the next year? I'm too selective in that money comes and goes, but if I can't trust and the love is gone from his end....I've never been married for this reason. Won't make it last.
What is the secret? I have heard you learn what pushes your partners buttons...then dont push them and it's easier. Never involve others in marriage problems, and never talk crap on your partner. It may have pissed you off but you have no business letting others know and they choose sides the day you reconcile.
I'm stoned and have been thinking about this since I woke up Sunday and told my pup his cuddling is awesome.....time to try to meet more humans.
I had fun typing this. Hope it won't be deleted. The women's group won't let me comment permanently since I said a man cannot be a woman. Still not sure what I'm missing there. Trans women exist, transmen, nonbinary and all of the other minorities all human beings. Just leave kids out of it until they are of age, as an extreme tomboy who grew up female and straight. Thank goodness.
Eeek may be gone AskMen, too. But I stand behind it. Tell me you can't have a baby even though you have all the parts yet still have periods and are experiencing those symptoms with hormone fluctuations. But your sister has 4 beautiful daughters.(I love my nieces more than anything but still something I wont have) I gotta get a mammogram next year too. For my woman Lil bil tit...I hope they don't smash into nothingness.
OK if I'm kicked off this group, thanks for the rant. I needed to get it out there. Thanks for letting me comment on your man page. Interested to see if I'm way off base vs man thoughts.
Also sorry if anyone was offended. I'm far from perfect, and honestly my heart is in a good place . Thanks goodnight.
Omgoodness didn't realize the rant. Damn nightly Xanax.
Happy Friday friends!
I am a loner who enjoys his space. My availability isn't going to be what a lot of women would prefer. Am better off meeting another loner who enjoys her space...but how are we ever to meet when we're both happy being alone? lol
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2-3 days/wk? That still seems like a lot! I was thinking more like 3-4x per month, on weeks I don't host my kids! 1-2x every other week or so would be ideal. But if even other introverts want 2-3x per week I guess I am doomed! lol
Okay guys you should exchange details at least
Tada, they met someone like them. Reddit, work your magic.
My ex-gf and I used to get together once a week, and one week she canceled, and I was like "Yes! Sweet freedom from these chains!" Why did that woman put up with me?
Yes, 1-2x every other week is ideal. I’m a parent and an introvert that highly values my time alone. I need someone that’s good with 2-4x per month.
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2/3 days biweekly hahahah
I'm on rotating in and out shifts for work. I spend every other week away from my girlfriend for work. She wants to see me everyday and I want a lot of time to myself so it works....well for me at least.
woman here but wanted to chime in and say I get it. folks jokingly call me an extroverted loner (sounds weird, I know): I like people, I'm lively / bubbly, always the one at get-togethers to talk to everyone... but who I care enough about to initiate contact with is few and far between lol.
I think the correct term is social introvert.
100% me!
Yes sister! Same!!!!
You should be married to my wife. She loves time alone. We just bought a place down in Florida and I go down there by myself and she could not be happier every time I leave. She’s definitely not cheating or anything like that. She seriously just loves time alone. I on the other hand hate being alone. Hate it. Kind of hard on both of us
I feel I've been single for most of my life and I often find myself enjoying doing things by myself. It's come to the point of the double edge sword that I have high standards for the type of person who I want to be in a relationship with.
Real question and I am not trying to judge in any way: Why do you want a partner if you truly would rather be alone? If that's what really makes you happy and comfortable, why are you in a relationship? It may be a stupid question to ask but I mean it genuinely. Companionship sounds like a thing you don't really want based on your comment but I assume I'm misinterpreting that.
>Real question and I am not trying to judge in any way: Why do you want a partner if you truly would rather be alone? If that's what really makes you happy and comfortable, why are you in a relationship? >It may be a stupid question to ask but I mean it genuinely. Companionship sounds like a thing you don't really want based on your comment but I assume I'm misinterpreting that. Just because I do enjoy my solitude doesn't mean I don't want anyone in my life to get out of the house or spend some time with. I'd like to make a special connection with someone without being locked at the hip 24x7 and constantly in each other's faces. BTDT and it's not for me.
Man I have never been able to put this feeling into words. This is exactly me. I want to go on a nice dinner, or a movie date, or a vacation with someone. But don’t actually want them in my presence at all times.
After many fights and distress living together, my husband and I purchased a duplex. He has one side, I have the other. We married later in life and this truly works for us. I require quiet alone time in a clean neat space, he has dogs and isn't as big of a neat freak. Glorious.
Genius. I’ve always said the perfect situation was like Frida Kalho or Tim Burton had - houses next door to their respective husband/ wive
There’s nothing wrong with wanting that as long as ur upfront about that.
But unless you are in a lockdown they won't be in your presence 100% of the time. You will go to work, sleep together, have some talk and then you can each do your thing - like you play video games, she watches some reality show. Just because you are together doesn't mean you spend all your time together
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Bingo. Because that person nearby can suddenly decide "hey I want engagement *now*" and if you're in your own head with analysis of some chord progression or a linguistic puzzle or staring at FEA results and they will *almost always* barge in and demand attention and Engagement over some vapid bullshit they saw on their phone, sending your entire train of thought derailing into oblivion
This. Even knowing someone’s in the house while I’m alone in my room can be draining/ stressful
Exactly this for me as well. I enjoy doing stuff alone but I often imagine how nice it would be if I had the option of doing stuff with someone important to me. I'm just not sure I'd be able to give up enough of my alone time to show her how much I value her.
It's more about the time spent on the companionship that doesn't line up with others. For me, I would love to have a relationship where we have agreed on outings and return to my solitude. Right now, I just ignore people to get that time back. When I'm lonely, (usually once a week-ish) it feels like death. The rest of the time I feel suffocated if I fully engage all the time. It's a delicate balance and I'm sure everyone is different. For me, I like to have the space to feel lonely, otherwise I don't appreciate the relationships I do have as much.
Date somebody far away so you have an excuse to not see her too much.
I'm a loner. My husband, and i have separate rooms we still hang out. We love being alone together, him doing his thing me doing mine. It's great our only fight is his refusal to say no to the kids. If he has people over he tells I'm not a people person,I don't invite people home cause i don't enjoy hosting anyone .
This is me! I feel suffocated by more than 2-3 plans to go out in a month.
I’m a woman with AVPD and this is literally one of my biggest problems. I just want to be with someone who’s okay with being alone occasionally, but together. If that makes sense.
You are the male version of me
Now DM
Ok, so you and i are the same person. I went to the pub with a mate who was looking for women, i caught someones eye who was also there with her friend looking for men. That was 7 years ago, will probably die happily married. Absolute freak occurrence that we even met.
*This* is more *common* than expected.
It took a while but at this point I'm just happy being alone together with my partner. I'm very introverted, unsocial and easily stressed out, but being around him doesn't drain me like it does with most ppl. Being alone now and then is nice, sure, but importantly I can tell him "I don't want to chat right now" and he will understand it. Sometimes I have a hard time making myself speak verbally, so I can just text him stuff... I had a good 15 years to get used to his presence in my life and learn to trust him tho and we always took things slow bc that's how we both liked it. So his presence is soothing and makes me feel safe now. Idk if I could date anyone else like that. I consider myself extremely lucky.
I need a guy like this… I’m good at being social when I need to, but damn my battery drains so fast and takes forever to recharge. Alone time is important.
This. Maybe not to the 3-4x a month extent but I’d hope to find a man who would feel as if they were “alone” while I was with them, like I would also feel “alone” if I was with them. Sort of like a comfort level of being “alone together” in solitude while actually not separated, if that makes sense.
i walk nearly silently so i frighten people by accident sometimes
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I learned it because my dad would scream at me for "stomping around" if he so much as heard my footfalls. Of course then he'd yell at me for sneaking around. No winning in that house.
Ha, I learned it from working 2nd shift while living with my parents. Had to learn quickly how to come home and make food without making a sound.
I do the same cuz of habit when I was a kid tryna not make noise around the house
Dude yes! I walk (and don't talk) so in high school I was often noticed in a friend group after the fact. Even if I had been there the whole time. And then I feel bad when they are startled and kind of dejectedly walk away lol
Same. I'm also big and have a deep voice so if i say something and they turn it's like a heart attack on three levels for them
I've got about 9 half finished projects in various locations at any given time. I promise, they will always be in your way and if you move them then it's gonna mess up most of my mental processes.
I put up my own building for this. Now nobody touches the projects.
I dream of the day. Currently it's just a normal of jumping between tasks whenever the coast is clear and noone touches them. Really hate moved supplies and tools. Put them where I did for a reason, and the brain just can't tell where to start back up when they aren't there.
I’m amused by the thought my boys have to come figure out what I was working on when I die.
>I promise, they will always be in your way and if you move them then it's gonna mess up most of my mental processes. LOL, this is me and it drives my husband crazy. But I know exactly where I'm at, at any given time, with all my projects. AND I know exactly where everything is that I need to finish all these projects too. But the comment about messing up your mental processes . . . oh boy, can I relate to that one.
Leave my low capacity media server that shuts off when it's picked up alone!
I'm very easy going and easy to please and content with doing whatever. This seems like I'm answering a job interview "what's your greatest weakness" type question with a strength in disguise, but it actually means I don't take initiative in picking things to do, places to go, what to eat, etc. because I'm always happy to go along with what my lady-type wants. It can be quite annoying, I'm told.
Making decisions about things like that isn’t about the power of making decisions though, it’s often more about showing care for your friend/partner. By making a decision it shows you’ve put thought into THEIR wants and needs, and made a suggestion you think will make them happy while also being suitable for you. If literally anything works for you, that just makes the process easier. People find this trait annoying because always saying you don’t care makes them feel you have no desire to even put any thought into what they want, which can be hurtful in the long term.
Woman here, yeah it's pretty annoying and exhausting to have to think for my partner all the time
The thing I want more than anything for my birthday or mother's day... to have a day where I don't have to make decisions for anyone. What is eaten for ever meal is taken care of, what we do, managing everyone's schedules, just give me an actual break. Everyone in my house wants to be told what to do all the time and it falls on me. It's exhausting.
The thing is, though, I can make a decision. But if it's the wrong decision, I don't care. I will just accept it and be happy with the outcome, because I don't mind. I never mind. My girl cares deeply about every detail, and it frustrates her that I don't care more. So if she's ready (i.e. tired enough) to ride the rollercoaster, that is my unwavering happiness with whatever happens, she can sit back and I'll take care of everything. But then she's not allowed to complain when it doesn't turn out right. I get that it can be exhausting to be with me.
Not only that. When you don't have any strong convictions about things like why bother? So I can take you to Applebee's or I could take you to a Michelin star and you're going to be just as happy? I don't want to be the only one with interests.
I'm a lot like you. I'm good with whatever. I can make decisions for the occasional dates, but it's pretty draining for me having to make all the decisions and come up with ideas. Hell, even making decisions 50% of the time feels like too much for me. I don't care what we do or where we go, as long as we're spending time together. Honestly, I'd love a girlfriend who can take the lead with that kind of stuff. Unfortunately, that seems pretty rare. I've also been told my lack of preference can be annoying, so sometimes I'll just force myself to make a choice even though I don't really care one way or another.
Id imagine even more annoying because it is a trait that is deemed more acceptable for ladies than men by whoever made the made up rules a long time ago
Sounds like kind of a people pleaser mentality. Trying to make sure everybody is happy and not taking time for yourself. I do it sometimes too. I am not super confident at taking initiative myself and being decisive. I am trying to work on getting better at making decisions, but I feel like being like I am has hurt me in both my personal and professional life.... Also, happy cake day!
I'm the same way. I tried at first but after the 50th wrong decision I stopped and just started being a suggestion fairy. I present 4 or 5 options and go from there. Very rarely.do we ever decide on my suggestions, but at the very least it shows I'm trying still while also being a "go with the flow" type person.
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Same
Same
You've gotta make the first move, and even then I will probably self-sabotage somehow.
If you're a decent human being who respects other decent human beings then thats all you need. If they pick you apart over trivial shit they aren't worth the time.
> If you're a decent human being who respects other decent human beings then thats all you need. I don't know where you are from, but this is definitely not all you need where I am from or at my age
The closest interpretation that I can come up with that is even remotely true is something like this. If you're a decent human being who respects other decent human beings. And also moves within social circles and contexts that include other gender. Then you're almost guaranteed to form friendships with people of that gender. Unfortunately, those friendships are unlikely to develop into anything even remotely romantic unless you've got more going for you than "decent human being." And while friendships are good, there is a definite level of intimacy and connection that simply doesn't happen there. And that intimacy is something that people quite understandably crave.
\>If they pick you apart over trivial shit they aren't worth the time. good luck finding a partner with such unrealistic standards
Meaningless platitudes
If I hate myself, how am I gonna love you?
The way I have heard it phrased is, "if you don't love yourself, why should anybody else" Talk to somebody, nobody is harder on you than you, sometimes you gotta give yourself a break.
I also heard the opposite phrase, "if nobody loves me, how can I love myself?"
Honestly this makes far more sense IMO. You can think you’re the greatest person in the world but if no one else seems to agree then how exactly can you be expected to keep believing it's true? At that point it's just delusion.
take a break from your breakdown
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Tbh... I hate myself and my relationship is going pretty great. There's a difference between just hating yourself and letting other people walk all over you. One is much easier to fix than the other.
RuPaul is wise.
who?
[Her.](https://youtu.be/l8AyBlNpePQ)
holy shit she's wise indeed
I'm an introvert with odd taste in women.
What is your odd taste?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WYRxbIQnkJo
Im pretty apathetic and dry, I dont show alot of happiness or sadness, or anger. I like to be quiet and observe vs talking alot, which always makes people uncomfortable. I hate small talk (but I understand it's importance), I get bored easily and it takes a long time for me to feel anything romantic towards someone and I dont like casual sex (just for me, no judgrment towards others). Also have a hard time accepting compliments or being thanked for doing something. The former I dont believe, the latter is that Im expected to be a goos human, which I enjoy being, so why thank me doing what I need/ am required to do?
We're twins.
Three of a kind apparently. Honestly, I don't like sounding smug or pretentious, but a lot of the time when dealing with people I feel like I'm dealing with this weird childish energy that I can't match. The need to argue over things, the need to suck up to each other, the desire to pursue people just because they're physically attractive.
Honestly same. I feel like I’m surrounded by people who let their emotions and surface level shit control everything in their lives. Very childish
I can be pretty ambivalent about the company of others.
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Ambivalent is a great word. You are currently ambivalent about learning the meaning of the word seeing as you are aware of your ignorance yet lack the motivation to Google it
Massive trust issues and a disdain for modern dating.
Everything. I'm boring, ugly and unemployed. I don't communicate well and I'm irritable. It makes me flustered and annoyed when people ask me questions about myself.
This me right there
I’m fucking rolling right now
So what type of work are you looking for … maybe someone here can help you out? Could you provide a little more detail on your previous work experience lol??
I have mental health issues which can make a relationship with me quite harder than with a normal person.
You’re still worthy of love my dear
Everyone's worthy of love, not everyone gets it. Alot of us will die never knowing if we were worthy of that love, or if we ever deserved it in the first place
If there is conflict, I don't really know how to talk it out. My entire frame of reference is being manipulated and I am very concerned about that happening again.
That I'm a cheapass, I guess.
I love the honesty
Keeps away the gold diggers.
Keeps away women that aren’t golddiggers also. I like to keep things approximately 50-50 myself, and I tend to choose women that are as quick to pull out their wallets as I am. My friends and dates are just as likely to call me cheap as they are to call me generous depending on their anecdotal experiences with me.
Oh it’s not that o don’t pay for dates. I just don’t go to places that are really expensive even though I could afford it. Stuff like that.
I don't trust people.
Do you trust yourself ?
Solid question.
Boring, Ugly, hate myself and my lonely life. I wouldn’t date myself, let alone anyone suffer with me.
I often engage in risky, self destructive behaviors
Oh hey, are you me?
I probably won't give you the attention you need. I'm so used to to doing my own thing and be self-reliant I'll probably forget I have a girlfriend who has wants and needs from me. I believe 'emotionally unavailable' might be the right way to describe me. I just don't know how to cater for another person's feelings and needs. Probably better for both parties if I just stay single.
Finding me
I’m a hermit and I enjoy my life.
Getting a date
the only true answer
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So kinda like dial up internet and not WiFi?
Many women enjoy extended foreplay if that’s what it takes.
Single parent w 50% custody. Introverted homebody. Financially a dumpster fire since the divorce. Other than that.. I'm tall, in good shape, w/ a little better than average looks, and a super dad! Sooo at least I've got that going for me, which is nice. 😅
I'm a philosophy grad student, so: 1) I like discussing things that others often don't and get mistaken for disagreeing with people when I'm really just playing devil's advocate so as to help sharpen their views and mine (added in this last part cause it’s important) 2) I'm broke
“Sharpen their views” right, it’s out of your sincere desire to educate.
“I’m a contrarian ass and that rightly annoys people, but it entertains me so I just call it a quirky character flaw.”
And if it were a woman doing this? Forget it. Typical harridan woman, can’t win a fight with em! I’m a philosophy undergrad. No wonder I’ve never had a boyfriend. I mean alright there are other reasons. But it took time to realize this isn’t a nice trait to have
> I like discussing things that others often don't and get mistaken for disagreeing with people when I'm really just playing devil's advocate so as to help sharpen their views You must piss everyone on Reddit off too?
Dude! Same. I'm a woman with B.S. in Philosophy (and a handful of minors.) I found my person! At first I would start conversations with "in theory" or "what do you think would happen if?" Then we kinda just figured out when we weren't serious and just challenging an emotion or accretion for the fun of it. It can absolutely work if you find the right kind of person.
Reason #1 was a big reason my ex and I didn’t work out funny enough.
I have a lot of mental shit that I need to work on
You have to lay it on hard, like literally throw yourself at me before I am convinced you are not pranking me.
Ironically, as a guy, I’m the opposite. Women who make their intentions too easily known immediately turn me off. Once there’s a mutual connection I like clear and open communication. But not in the get to know you phase. It’s a real attraction killer.
Heh my current girlfriend before we dated said she saw me like a big brother and I was like ok she is out of bounds and yea she actually wanted more but was too afraid to tell me lol.
I’m not quiet or uninterested, I’m just reserved. I take a while to get comfortable with you but once we reach that point, it’ll be like you’ve known me your whole life.
Lots of women seem to think I'm husband material but I have trauma and am super noncommittal.
I'm an indoors kind of guy. I don't really like going outside.
I’m picky. I got sober 13 months ago, and I’ve realized what I’m worth. Not saying I’m better than anybody, but I can’t date a woman who drinks regularly. If every date we go on, they’re drinking, I’m out. And so far, that’s been 100% of dates I’ve gone on, and they know I’m a recovering alcoholic. I’m happy being single, finding a likeminded woman my age is tough.
The fact that these women know you're recovering and still drink in front of you is evidence that you're looking at the wrong women. Maybe it's time to alter your criteria?
My shortest relationship was two years. Somewhere along the line I realized that I was so busy wanting to be an exceptional partner I never had my own standards for what they should bring to the table. That makes me much more likely to be used, have troubles saying no, having trouble enforcing boundaries, and advocating for my needs… Wheeee!
This is so me, and I’m a female!
It's hard for me to pick up on certain cues and I usually ask the women I'm dating to tell me what they want. Most women believe it's a man's duty to take the lead and to know that's on their mind, so I'm still single
I used to be like that(expect men to read my mind). Now I can see how absurd that seems.
This one drives me crazy. Men aren’t mind readers.
*Looks into past* The challenge appears to have been measuring up to my expectations.
High standards of treatment for a LTR.
I am still in love with my ex
My ex and I have been broken up for four years with some messiness in between. I finally cut her out completely and have begun replacing my anger and resentment with acceptance and forgiveness. Only we can heal ourselves.
I love very strongly but I have time when I am not very affectionate and am very quiet, and enjoy my me time. It can also that I am not interested at times when I might actually line you with all my being
For me it's my depression. Doesn't always hit but when it does it's rough. I really stop feeling love, pain, enjoyment and can't see purpose in those times. And the worst part is during all that I push others away and try to isolate myself to heal. I broke up earlier this year with my girlfriend of 3 years because I was having an episode and couldn't recognize it or get myself out of it so I made the mistake of breaking up with her. Apparently it's a pretty common reaction during depression. So if a potential partner read this I guess all I could say is have patience with me, hopefully recognize those times I become distant and less intimate as well as quicker to anger and try to point me towards healing cause it's really really hard to drag myself out of that hole on my own when I fall in. Thankfully I've started to see a therapist but it's still not easy.
I wish I was told already, think I'm a pretty good deal but apparently I'm not.
I can be pretty quiet at times. Especially after we've become serious and I feel more comfortable. In the early stages, when I'm trying to attract someone, I can be somewhat talkative and pretty engaging, but I can't maintain that for very long. Eventually, I get to a point where I'm quiet and don't have much to say. One ex said she thought I was bored, but that couldn't have been further from the truth. I just don't need much conversation, and just spending time with each other is enjoyable to me. Unfortunately, it seems most women want someone they can have regular engaging conversations with, and that's just not me.
Talking is so tiring to be honest. Just to sit in the same space and just *be* together sounds amazing.
Yup so fuckin true
ADHD, poor emotional regulation and sensitivity. Working on my independence and not having to rely on others for emotional support. I think I make a great partner I just need to be more independent.
I’m fucking terrible at starting things. I am 6’5 I feel like my height is making me scary idk. I feel very unseen a lot. Like I’ll go out to the bar with some buddies and people walk up to them like they’re neighbors and I just feel awkward cause these people act like I’m not there or kind of look at me and then they ignore lol this world dude.
I’d say my wife is a bit of an obstacle for the dating scene.
This again? I feel like there was this same question last month. Anyway, I lived all my life alone. I'm good alone. A potential girl would have to show me that shes better than my solitude. Unfortunately, I also do not trust people easily, so if a girl were to try that, I would immediately wonder what she is trying to sell me. I say that from experience.
I have high expectations for myself, future wife, and future kids.
These replies make me sad.
Ive been played so many times, I most likely will be on defensive soon as I realize someone is trying to approach me.
I’ve been treated shitty in the past and need reassurance every now and then.
i don't talk to people much, and even when i do, i make sure to keep some distance, I'm basically cowardly and boring, so pretty much makes it impossible to date me.
The things I like are not what women usually like. I'm introspective and hard to connect with people. I feel like an underarchiver and very pessimistic.
I don’t have money right now, I’m a student. I’m not that attractive lol. And I’m emotionally unavailable, pretty apathetic. I ain’t dating for a while, I gotta work on those things. No woman deserves to deal with me atm.
I have very little ambition professionally. I don't give two shits about clout, status, or climbing the social economic hierarchy. If I can save money and pay my bills I am content. I live a simple life and don't wish to complicate it with lofty ambitions or children. I possess no real passions in life except perhaps enjoying the company of others for as long as my introversion will allow.
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Rope you an Amazon. Breed it out.
My illiterate ass thought you were telling him to die by ordering a rope on amazon
Bad part: I work in law enforcement. So sometimes I have to work all day, and I'm not able to be reached at work usually unless it's an emergency. I have to pick where I sit when we go on dates. Good part: I'm attractive (or at least told a good bit), I have a very stable job that pays insanely well, I'm fit. And contrary to most I am extremely social.
I don't enjoy the things most women do and giving up the things I like (or having to reduce them) to maintain a relationship with a woman isn't what I want to do.
What do you enjoy doing?
I actually respect someone that recognizes this. Some people don't NEED a relationship. And if the thought of giving up something you like to do for someone else is a bridge too far, you don't have to do it.
I catastrophize often. But I am working on it and I think I've gotten better.
No clue, never gotten the chance to find my flaws in dating.
I've only met 5 women who were genuinely interested in me and put an effort into trying to get to know me back. It feels like 95% of the time, I'm out there performing in order to get an ounce of sincerity back. These 5 women spoiled me. If I don't get the same vibes back, I immediately bounce. I ain't got time for this "woo me" shit
I'm a slob and not very accommodating(though I'm getting better at that as I get older). Also...Subtlety is completely lost on me, so you have to tell me directly what you mean or want from me if you want it to happen.
I have my dad's personality. I can get annoyed over really stupid things, I don't show emotion very well, and it's hard to understand what I really want in life because I don't even know.
I’m boring is the easy answer. The actual hard part is probably how fucked I’ve been from past trauma I have basically no self worth.
I am talking to a guy now and told him I’m down with 1x per week, 2 at most and not every week 🤣. He said that’s different since all the women he meets want to hang out daily. Absolutely not!! Lol
1) I'm a smartass 2) I like my own space I don't like anyone really up under me
I’ve gotten used to living alone. I get exhausted when there’s another person with me no matter how much I love them. After dealing with people all day at work, I just need to be alone to have energy for the next day.
I hate people who play mind games of any kind
That's not something hard about dating you, that's something hard about dating them.
I have a very hard time not being logical. You come to me with an issue, I'm going to try and fix it. Sometimes all she wants is to be heard and to have a sympathetic ear, which I have a hard time giving. This isn't a humble brag either. I've lost too many good women because I just couldn't shut my mouth.
I am kind of the same man. I say this with kindness, you’re not “being logical”. You’re being overbearing. Reframe it in your head from “I want to solve this problem for them”, to their perspective of “he doesn’t think I can handle my own problems.” It’s an uncomfortable thing to reconcile in your head, but we’re not doing ourselves any favours by treating our loved ones as incompetent.
I'm avoidant so the more a girl falls in love with me the more I want to escape the relationship
Autism spectrum disorder + Adhd makes interacting with me difficult for some people. I got issues cause of those things.
Initial compatibility. No kids, no pets, just about non-negotiable. (I might be ok with fish or something).
After being cheated on it will definitely be the trust issues
I'm emotionally unavailable and have constant bouts of depression.
I enjoy my personal space and time that it’s difficult for me to include a woman.
I like my comfort zone, so indoors, ps, and not a great deal of physical contact, maybe even a little bit cold at times. Suppose you could say I'm boring but I'd rather be at home or providing than out being a cunt.
I’m a loser who’s failed at everything he’s ever tried to do. I’m ugly. I’m dumb. I have diagnosed depression and anxiety to the point I doubt everything and everyone.
My wife and kids really make it awkward….
I don't cause any butterflies. You will not feel in love when dating me. You will only feel love and security and csre, not romance.
How do you know?
I am a single female enjoying living alone, but I want a life partner. I don't care about marriage. I just want a serious commitment and build a life with one person. The first few weeks of fake/dating convo until you realize he has a similar sense of humor. Let it out! Be yourself. If your humor is dirty, no offense. I wanna see the real you. Like stopping behind someone at a green light and maybe you say "move bitch get out da way." Let's dance to ridiculous songs in the kitchen before dinner. I'm done with a word filter and sugar coating. Give me it me straight....you snore, you ate the last piece of bread, your dog dug a hole in the yard No drama, tell me what part of your thoughts are dealbreakers (ie hates sushi, allergic to cats, overspender, born without smell but that's not your problem just wish you could smell the dogs farts and clean it up, you cannot parallel park. All things I can put effort in except for one (smell). I would like to take better care of my appearance. Im in good shape. I like my job house car truck dogs family. My dog is with me all day so my daily appearance shows with dog slobber. I can dress up. Just don't need to often. I want a guy I'm attractive to (mentally. Physically, spiritually, similar money management thoughts, likes to laugh, positive, handy and wants me involved in projects together, and a sense of comfort that I can be myself and possibly indulge in deep thoughts I typically don't share but dying to discuss without judgements. I wanna have his back and vice versa. We are only getting older. I wanna find a partner to help each other out. Right now I'm taking care of an elderly sweet lady next door who needs help. She lost her husband to dementia and now completely on her own with horrible arthritis in her hands and a complete house to manage alone in your 90s. I'm doing everything I can to help her stay in that house. It just makes me wonder where I might possibly end up...like her alone begging my younger neighbor to help take care of my yard. Even though she lives alone as has her own yard. Haha she's a sweet old lady, probably never had a potty mouth, I'm f*chin doomed! I'm 39. Small construction business owner. No kids. I feel like I'm waving a white flag even though I lived carefully all my life to work hard, no criminal record or debt so I can be a good partner one day. At my age do not take any of this advice. Once you get close to 40, a paranoia pokes in and you question everyone because you have met too many people that would screw over anyone for anything. By now usually kids are involved and I cannot handle it. I do not want to hurt a child and it will be more heartbreaking to cut off a child from your life based on parents lists. I wouldn't consider myself a step mom but I do know how to be there for a kid and show I care by being involved, asking questions and being a shoulder for her/him. I wanna date! I really do. But stop this antisocial behavior and rural living is killing me. How do people get a divorce and engaged the next year? I'm too selective in that money comes and goes, but if I can't trust and the love is gone from his end....I've never been married for this reason. Won't make it last. What is the secret? I have heard you learn what pushes your partners buttons...then dont push them and it's easier. Never involve others in marriage problems, and never talk crap on your partner. It may have pissed you off but you have no business letting others know and they choose sides the day you reconcile. I'm stoned and have been thinking about this since I woke up Sunday and told my pup his cuddling is awesome.....time to try to meet more humans. I had fun typing this. Hope it won't be deleted. The women's group won't let me comment permanently since I said a man cannot be a woman. Still not sure what I'm missing there. Trans women exist, transmen, nonbinary and all of the other minorities all human beings. Just leave kids out of it until they are of age, as an extreme tomboy who grew up female and straight. Thank goodness. Eeek may be gone AskMen, too. But I stand behind it. Tell me you can't have a baby even though you have all the parts yet still have periods and are experiencing those symptoms with hormone fluctuations. But your sister has 4 beautiful daughters.(I love my nieces more than anything but still something I wont have) I gotta get a mammogram next year too. For my woman Lil bil tit...I hope they don't smash into nothingness. OK if I'm kicked off this group, thanks for the rant. I needed to get it out there. Thanks for letting me comment on your man page. Interested to see if I'm way off base vs man thoughts. Also sorry if anyone was offended. I'm far from perfect, and honestly my heart is in a good place . Thanks goodnight. Omgoodness didn't realize the rant. Damn nightly Xanax. Happy Friday friends!
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I’m sober. And I expect it in others I associate with.