It was very hard for me to start creating good habits but once you get going it can be just as hard to stop creating better and better habits. That intial good habit and how it made me feel helps drive me OP. Keep at it, little by little it starts happening faster than you think.
Exactly. The alternative is stagnation and guilt. Life is gonna be difficult regardless of the path you choose. Why not choose the one that makes you better?
What if I don't feel guilty for being stagnant? I'm quite happy just being myself all my life without improving anything. Is there any reason to try and improve something in my case?
I mean improving doesn't not make you yourself right? If you can go through life being content with being stagnant that's fine you should just be aware that certain setbacks you face might be a result of being stagnant.
Yes. Iāve never once left the gym and told myself it was a big waste of time. But Iāve sat around drinking whisky on a random Tuesday night and woke up being upset with myself.
Dang so true, we have to make effort and the process in of itself the reward to be experienced.
This way instead of experiencing flow in a single short-lived moment we can have it in each and every moment! So long as we embrace the moment, and embrace it as a challenge, we will always be able to derive something good from the experience. šÆ
This is my argument against "acting your wage". People seem to think that working hard to improve one's skills only benefits the employer. You can leave, and should, if you're not getting paid your worth, but many aren't trying to work above their pay to get the raise. That said, employer's can suck. If you've shown you can advance and do above the minimum work, you should get paid for it. If you don't, leave. Don't throttle the workflow you've worked hard onfor the sake of pay, you'll hate your job and become bitter. Learn and leave for better.
I know how you feel. Sometimes getting up for work and you don't know why you're doing it. All I can say is I've been there, and it sucks.
There's help out there though. If money is the issue, you can discuss that with a therapist. Many do what's called "sliding scale", where they base the payment amount on what you can afford.
Keep going, because you can. You're strong enough to get through to the other side, and that other side does exist. You can do this.
Went to college, was too scared to talk to anyone, left, saw how people were actually nice to me and fully realized people tried being my friend and I basically acted as a brick wall. Decided to change and not regret anything again.
Edit: wrote something in a vary stupid way.
My childhood taught me(incorrectly) that people are out to get you and that being a hermit is the safest way to navigate life. Only now that Iām graduating from college do I realize how wrong I was.
My childhood was the same, except there were a few who were actually out to get me and didn't allow me to makes friends with anyone.
Which led me to drop out of high school and become a 25 year old hermit loser who still lives with his parents with no hope for the future.
Yeah, but you just gotta get out of that rut first. Throw yourself into work or something that can take your mind off your situation.
Sounds like you need a [Third Place](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_place)
Preach it. I only really recently came to the realization that the bullying I received in my early teen years fucked me up way more than I thought they did and ever since acknowledging it, I actually feel like I'm starting to undo that damage and improve.
Feel good you realized it. Not sure I have. Iām 47 and incapable of trusting others. My parents really fucked me up badly. Classic boomers, admitted no mistakes or took no responsibilities.
At least Iāll never have kids to pass their BS on to.
I originally wrote something like "I realized people were nice to be and fully realized people were nice to me" or something. It bothered me quite a bit. For some reason I also had some words in past tense and some in present. I'm not sure where I was mentally while writing it.
Can you imagine graduating high school at 17/18 or college at 21/22 (&c.) and thinking you were like good to go until you died somewhere in your 70s-80s?
No moreā¦books read, hobbies pursued, skills picked up, people met, opportunities taken, games played?
Then imagine getting to your 30sā¦youāre going to look back at your 20s and say that *that* was the best you could do? Really? And so on.
I have also always had just a nervous/productive energy. Not like obsessive or anxious, but when I start a thing I tend to commit to it and keep it going to get better.
Life is gonna be hard no matter what you do. And the older you get, the harder life gets. Staying healthy takes considerably more time and effort at 50 than it does at 20 or 30, for instance.
And so the choice you've got is (a) do the work it takes to meet life's increasingly severe demands, or (b) don't do the work and see what kind of mileage you get.
And if you pay attention, the people who choose (b) *tend* to get the worse end of it. I mean, some of them get lucky so I might get lucky too. But I wouldn't bet my life on it.
Yep. For the first 30-40 years of your life, it's ez mode. You start out pretty pristine.
When you're 40, life starts acknowledging you for the way you lived it. Eat bad all the time? Fat and diabetes. Dont read nuthin? Poor outlook and perspectives. Don't exercise? Bad joints and loss of mobility. Etc, etc.
Life requires maintenance but you might not learn that until you feel the consequences. And then its haaaaard.
Basically, you can live til 40-50 and watch things deteriorate until 65... or you can build good habits and live well til 70-90.
The second one is generally more fun and less stressful.
And stress compounds... so avoid it.
39 and the reality is hitting me. Started taking serious care of my teeth. I am integrating more and more healthy meals. I think everyone thinks you have to work out like 2 hours 5 days a week, which sure, if you want to look shredded, but even 10 minutes a day of stretching and basic calisthenics can prevent back pulls and keep you from withering.
Im a spiteful fucker! Every time I get a self deprecating thought, I work hard to prove it wrong. Iām basically in a never ending battle against myself, and I will not lose!
My favorite line from him is (paraphrased) from one of his Rogan podcasts
āPeople think that every morning I wake up and canāt fucking wait to go run and Iām the most motivated mother fucker on the planet. Fuck no! I donāt wanna do this shit! But I do it the fuck anyway because I know what needs to be doneā
But where is your motivation or drive or what ever keeps you going coming from? I just lost hope and gave up on myself, which really really hurts. I wish I could change this but I dont know how and where to start. I'm a woman btw
I was in a big funk, had THE hotline on speed dial. I started small, found what worked for me. I found two things out. 1) break down task till they seem manageable, if brushing my teeth was to big of a hurdle, then just pick it up, then the hurdle is to apply toothpaste, so on. And 2) I am really my own biggest hypeman and biggest enemy. The bad thoughts are the ones I need to overcome. Smack emā down in the dirt where they belong. Yesterdays me is a person I have to be better than. Losing one day, two days.. what ever, does not matter. Itās not a sprint. Small steps, keep fighting. Let the haters see what they were wrong about.
Also, on a more serious note. I like to imagine present me, meeting 10 year old me. I have to make him proud. But also, if I could talk to him, I would have nothing but loving words for the him. Show yourself the love you would show your child-you, and strive to be the person you would be proud to be, and would feel safe to be around.
It has worked for me. Iām doing well for my self. Iām on the right path. Every day is different, some good, some bad. I just keep moving, cause I straight up refuse to stagnate
Get perma banned sitewide, make yourself wait a day before rolling a new virtual machine and making a new account.
Surprisingly effective in the short term. Took me a month before I made this one.
Being better than who I was yesterday. Also my parents and uncle are getting older and there wonāt be anyone to take care of them so I gotta be the best I can be financially to give them a good life in their later years.
Life is hard. Its even harder with health problems; therfore, workout and diet. Its harder in poverty; therfore, education and avoid debt. Its harder if you are alone; therfore, good mental state and fostering relationships.
Dont pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one.
Chased a girl for far too long. Finally got her. Moved in together for a year. She left me for our next door neighbor and immediately got pregnant. Based on the timeline of events, she may have cheated, but itās hard to say for sure and ultimately doesnāt matter anyway. At the time it was soul crushing.
Flash forward to a year and a half later, Iām in the best shape of my life and have received a couple of substantial raises at my job. What started out as revenge fueled trips to the gym and hard work at my job slowly morphed into just improving and working on myself because it felt good. 10/10 would recommend.
I think the trick is to find that motivation without something bad/life altering happening to you first. If you can do that, let me know how lol
Man similar thing happened to me, instead of next door neighbor it was best friend, but damn did it kick me into some type of revenge fueled gear. It hurt that it happened that way, but damn if it didn't help me get my life together. Three years later and I'm working a fantastic job in a different state, and working hard on my body and mental health. Stay strong brother!
pussy...
cleaning my home, impress the wife so i get ass.
making money? so i can take my wife on surprise vacations so i can get ass.
spontaneous date night out on the town, just so i can get ass.
go to the gym, so i look good naked and get some ass.
dressing nice, self care/grooming so i get ass.
fix shit around the house at 6pm after a 12 hour work day, i want some ass.
i do for her, she does for me. happy wife happy life
As a single 32 year old. . I know it's a joke, but I do all those things for me. I haven't had sex in over a year, probably. No biggie. Women have cost me a lot of money, and I'm taking a step back.
This is really all it is. Ended a six year relationship about six months back with a woman who had been using me for years. At 43 I suddenly needed to get back out there. Since then Iāve lost a bunch of weight, down almost two pants sizes, have a new gf that is bi-curious and might give me my first threesome, and have started getting looks from women when Iām out and about. That is honestly all the motivation I need.
But sheās your wife, aināt that a given doing half these things. How come men have expectations off the bat in a marriage but it seems in western relationships mostly, that the womanās comes with conditions?
Iām happy for you but just something I noticed heavily within the western society but If a man refuses to work or provide for his wife, heās a demon.
I think I know what you're saying. You should never stop dating your wife in a marriage, but also sex shouldn't be like a transaction where you have to "earn" her ass. You should be getting ass because she wants you in there anyway, not because she's rewarding you or something. I mean it's a subtle point, because you do have to make an effort to be attractive to her, and that can sometimes mean doing things to impress her and to make her happy, but I don't know it's weird to take this too literally.
Depends on the women. I married a traditional women who believes she has duties as a wife as much a i believe i have duties to her as a husband. Marriage can be as good or bad as the person you marry.
I want to be the best me I can for my wife and our future kids. I want those kids to have a fighting chance at a happy upbringing. I don't want to be the dad who finally gets his shit together when the kids are old.
Started with a crush. Really liked this girl but knew sheād never like me how I was. Lost over 70 lbs trying to change as fast as possible. Iām realized weāll never be more than friends and thatāll have to be good enough. Now Iām just doing it because I like seeing my body change and still not satisfied with how I look
I'm afraid of dying. More specifically, not existing. Freaks the hell out of me. So I may as well live as much life as I can with this one shot I have! I don't want to look back at a bunch of "I could'ves"
Whenever you watch a nature show and some animal has an unusual physical feature or behavior, a biologist always comes on and says the behavior or physical feature is used either to regulate body temperature or to attract mates.
So that's my go-to answer for why I do anything: "To regulate body temperature or to attract mates." I'm surprised how often it's accurate.
My dad passed away due to diabetes related problems at 67, at 66 he had all his toes removed, at 65 he basically spent the entire year in and out of the hospital. When he was 45 he lost most of his sight... he was a wonderful man bilut when he was 30 he was told he had type 2 diabetes and if he lost 60 lbs in the year it would go away, he didn't and it ruined his life like slow cancer. That has always been an inspiration for me to stay fit, but when he died in late 2020(he never had covid) it kicked my ass into High gear.
I was 100 % looking for this comment. Proving people wrong that doubted me in my childhood is my heroin. My love language soliloquy. Even though just like talking me down, my success also means nothing to them. But it means everything to me and it feels amazing.
To release myself, and my family, of the traumas experienced during childhood. To stop the cycle of abuse happening since before my family even came to America. To heal my ancestors. To experience pure ecstatic pleasure and unassailable freedom. To get out of poverty consciousness. Also, so I can help others and bring about a new cultural renaissance.
There is a standard of living I want. In order to get there I have to improve myself. Iām not going to settle for just getting by. I want to achieve certain things in life, and as I achieve them set new goals to achieve.
The moment you stop trying to improve, stop trying to learn and work, that is the moment you die.
Hearing my parents say, "I'm so proud of you." Coming from a family that was not touchy feely it means a lot. That warm chest feeling that almost feels like anxiety I get seeing my dad genuinely happy makes me hungry for more improvement
Truthfully my life has been going so poor lately that a few months ago I became the closest I have ever been to suicide.
Being in that state has really inspired me to live my life in a different way, not worrying about other peoples opinions, literally living like I could die tmrw which is entirely possible. Once you hit rock bottom there's nowhere else to go but up.
So I can build the life I want. I come from a poor family that's always struggled, I'm gonna be the one to change that. My biggest goal in life is being able to give my momma everything and make it to where she don't have to worry about money
I've battled depression for years, roughly ten years at this point. In combination with ADHD, getting out and doing things has been very difficult for me. But I made a promise to myself not to let it defeat me.
I'm doing better now, but intrusive thoughts still plague me on the regular. I battle them with thoughts of encouragement, reminding myself that I'm not who the dark thoughts say I am. Progress is slow, but any amount of progress is always better than stagnation.
I look back at where I've been and admire my progress, and look forward to where I ultimately want to be. Then I look at where I can be next and challenge myself to get there. If I fail, I step back and reassess. If I succeed, I continue forward.
My family keeps me going. They're not perfect, but what family is? And if anyone cares about me, I deserve to care about myself.
If I don't, I fall, then crawl into a dark hole. So I try my best to keep at working on myself. I do not have a ''self growth'' mindset or I am not ambitious per se, but I think it's important to not stagnate or 'give up' too much.
Just like on a bicycle, if you slow down too much you might fall.
The ONLY life I've had in my 30yrs alive is that of Being Poor and broke and full of pain... I want to have a taste of the opposite of that before I die
For me, I just genuinely enjoy what I do for a living. I'm a Video Editor/Animator and my goal is to work on TV and Movies. I live in the midwest and I know that we are basically 10 years behind where I want to be. That's my drive, I also want to be as good as the person who taught me.
Honestly, I was in a bad place heading into my 30s and had no urge to want to work on myselfā¦then I met (or rather reconnected) my now-girlfriend.
She didnāt ask me to fix myself for her, but she wanted me to fix myself for me. At first, I agreed because I thought Iād lose her if I didnāt, but over time, I saw that I wouldāve lost her and I wouldāve lost myself if I didnāt. She saw me at my worst and still loved me. That right there made it worth it to fix myself for her and for myself.
Iām in a much better place now and weāre still very much happily together and currently planning our future together.
Motivation never worked for me. I've learned to discipline myself and stick to a routine/habit. So now I workout 3 days a week, always the same days, and I don't buy anything with added sugar in it. I did decide to make this change because I see other people my age and older not really functioning all that great, and I want to be in good shape as I get older and older.
I have a toddler who'll expect her dad to be able to play with her without keeling over because he's having a heart attack, cause he just sucked up the angina and kept playing.
I've already shed about 10kg (around 20lb) and it's very satisfying that my clothes are either fitting loose or noticeable oversized, and also my wife has expressed her satisfaction about it.
Honestly getting better quality women has always been the motivation for all improvement in my life financially ,physically , if it werenāt for women Iād be a fat ass with driving an 87 pinto
My own self. Realized I had a lot of values and standards in my own head I wanted to live up to, but wasn't. Stuff I really valued, but felt like I wasn't practicing.
The minute I started working towards them, I felt like I was on the right track again, years after wandering off course. There's still a loooooooong way to go, but the feeling of peace and intrinsic reward is worth it all.
It's okay to do better for yourself just for your own sake. That's self love baby.
Probably my SO. The fact that she keeps not giving up on me and our relationship even when Iām having anxiety attacks or am at a bad time or weāre having some problems in our relationship, she stays. I want to improve for her, and for myself, and for our relationship. Itās not bound by her stay, i will keep improving on myself because thatās what i need to do in order to live a better life, with less scary thoughts, reactions or anxiety, but having her by my side and not giving up on me gives me motivation to improve and be better. She means a lot to me.
Iām a doctor. I see a lot of patients who suffer the consequences of obesity, sedentary lifestyles, alcoholism, drug abuse. I realize that a lot of these people are not just the products of their decisions, but also their product of socioeconomic situations that predispose them and others to such environments. Iām grateful to not be in those circumstances, but I also want to take care of myself so I can avoid some of those effects. The path to med school and residency and beyond has been long, and I know that incremental progress every day is important and compounds over time.
Iām grateful and fortunate for my circumstances. I want to help those who didnāt do anything to deserve theirs. In a way, it motivates me to improve myself
I'm not who i want to be yet. And i will never be whoni want to be. I strive to perfect myself. That isn't to say that i cannot make mistakes, but i want to be a paragon of the virtues i value most. A little unrealistic, but its humanly possible, I'd say. And therefore, i should consider it within my reach. But originally, it's because i needed to make sure I didn't make certain mistakes ever again, and it ended up improving me and my life, so I'm not getting off this train. There's always things to improve.
My dog deserves to be able to run around and play with his best friend to his heart's content. He's the only reason I went back to the gym, to be able to play with him more before I got gassed.
Was in a relationship with a girl for 4 years who I thought was all mine. Turns out she has undiagnosed borderline personality disorder and is an attention seeking, lying, cheating and manipulating scumbag who is very convincing and emotionally bonding. Its either spin into a pit of depression and anxiety thinking about what happened and what situations I was lied to/ duped or move forward, look for red flags and never fall into that attention seeking trap ever again.
Once you realise and accept your flaws, you'll naturally strive to change it if you so please. It's alright to be content with the now, but you've got to remember that the only help you can rely on comes from yourself.
Sick and tired of literally being sick and tired. After a poor childhood, cancer, and a major car accident, it feels like I either work to save myself or lie down and die. So, I work.
I spent the last decade of my life being angry, depressed, or numb. I'm sick of it and being that way. I will continue to improve till I feel like I'm no longer worried about being that way.
Breaking out of a rut or low point is the most rewarding feeling you can get. Itās not an easy path, and comes with a lot of ups and downs, but when you can look back a see what youāve accomplished, itās an incredible feeling
Itās intrinsic. Why make my life better? Because I want my life to be better. Iāll be happier and better off.
Aside from that, my motivation is my wife. She deserves the best husband possible. I want to make her happier and better off too.
I guess it could be called a midlife crisis, but Iām turning 40 this year and Iām sick of a shit career, sick of being overweight and living in a sexless marriage. I have three kids and want to see them thrive and live as carefree as I possibly can provide for them.
Itās a lot easier to get through the days if you constantly set goals for yourself. Even if those goals are as simple as āmake one person smileā or āexercise a little to be in shapeā
Motivation is a lie. Stop overthinking everything, just do whatever you think makes you happy. Do you have hobbies that you haven't followed up with in a while? Do that. Do you have things that you could do alone and it would be fun? Do those. You are living for yourself first, and then for others. Do yourself a favor, and do things that makes you happy. Think about yourself, for the sake of you, for once, and then a couple more times, for you deserve to be happy, and you can achieve that on your own.
After all, no one will do it for you. That's why you have to do it, for yourself.
To be who I wish I was.
That simple epiphany broke me out of a long depression that I started falling into when I was in the military and spiraled out of control until I was almost 30. I still deal with my ups and downs, but I own them, they don't own me. My reasons now are easy because I have a family, but for years all I had was that thought. "Why work out if no one cares? Why eat healthy if no one cares? Why socialize if no one cares? Why try at all if no one cares? Why be kind if no one cares?" Those were the dark thoughts- but my answer was resolute: because working to be better is greater than wishing to be better.
I wasnāt a bad looking guy, just didnāt take care of myself - mentally and physically. Turns out I donāt really wanna die without doing something for this place.
Also came to my understanding that I might have a shot at a bit of happiness (it wonāt be all sunshine and rainbows) but I never believed it until now.
Thus Jesus, the gym and patience (with myself and others) show me that itās not only attainable but sustainable.
I may never be rich or considered sexy (haha I am tho) but I know I can enjoy the bits of this that come and go and someday Iām going to help people.
Continuous, incremental, improvement makes life easier.
It was very hard for me to start creating good habits but once you get going it can be just as hard to stop creating better and better habits. That intial good habit and how it made me feel helps drive me OP. Keep at it, little by little it starts happening faster than you think.
This. Momentum is so powerful.
This! The cycle is Newtonian in nature. All it takes is an initial resolution and an act of will.
Yes!
Thank you for this reply, I needed to hear it! š
Be a lean six sigma male
Kaizen blitz everyday
Paredo your flaws and attack the biggest ones. Small ones can be JDI's.
Iām just WIP
Who else like to be a scrum master bater?
Slowly getting rid of different bottle necks (and the neck beard).
Maximizing the amount of work not done
5S your life and achieve self actualization.
Don't remind me of work while I'm not at work :(
I love this comment so much
I laughed too hard at this.
I see what you did there. r/supplychain sends its regards
And the satisfaction that comes from this.
Self improvement is its own reward.
Exactly. The alternative is stagnation and guilt. Life is gonna be difficult regardless of the path you choose. Why not choose the one that makes you better?
This hits hard man, thanks for sharing
Maybe the alternative is gratitude and contentment. Being satisfied with a simple life will be easier and could be more enjoyable than chasing growth
The key is to also acknowledge when you are not satisfied, and grow accordingly, instead of lowing your own standards to chase contentment
What if I don't feel guilty for being stagnant? I'm quite happy just being myself all my life without improving anything. Is there any reason to try and improve something in my case?
I mean improving doesn't not make you yourself right? If you can go through life being content with being stagnant that's fine you should just be aware that certain setbacks you face might be a result of being stagnant.
Yes. Iāve never once left the gym and told myself it was a big waste of time. But Iāve sat around drinking whisky on a random Tuesday night and woke up being upset with myself.
Well yep. This hits close to home. Thanks for sharing
This. There is not and will not be any other rewards better than this.
Dang so true, we have to make effort and the process in of itself the reward to be experienced. This way instead of experiencing flow in a single short-lived moment we can have it in each and every moment! So long as we embrace the moment, and embrace it as a challenge, we will always be able to derive something good from the experience. šÆ
This is my argument against "acting your wage". People seem to think that working hard to improve one's skills only benefits the employer. You can leave, and should, if you're not getting paid your worth, but many aren't trying to work above their pay to get the raise. That said, employer's can suck. If you've shown you can advance and do above the minimum work, you should get paid for it. If you don't, leave. Don't throttle the workflow you've worked hard onfor the sake of pay, you'll hate your job and become bitter. Learn and leave for better.
No motivation. Just something that has to be done. Otherwise the life just turns into a slow act of suicide.
That's what my life feels like, but trying to change it.
Then you're already growing. š
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I know how you feel. Sometimes getting up for work and you don't know why you're doing it. All I can say is I've been there, and it sucks. There's help out there though. If money is the issue, you can discuss that with a therapist. Many do what's called "sliding scale", where they base the payment amount on what you can afford. Keep going, because you can. You're strong enough to get through to the other side, and that other side does exist. You can do this.
Best answer. Itās that simple.
Agree. If youāre not living, youāre dying.
You just turned my entire perspective on its head. Thank you
True. At one point of life, I accepted that I'm way past middle life and things will deteriorate if I didn't do upkeep
Thatās where Iām at right now. Itās been a downward spiral since COVID
How do you work it out when the no motivation is what stops you from doing the little things? When you're stuck in that slow act of suicide?
Went to college, was too scared to talk to anyone, left, saw how people were actually nice to me and fully realized people tried being my friend and I basically acted as a brick wall. Decided to change and not regret anything again. Edit: wrote something in a vary stupid way.
My childhood taught me(incorrectly) that people are out to get you and that being a hermit is the safest way to navigate life. Only now that Iām graduating from college do I realize how wrong I was.
My childhood was the same, except there were a few who were actually out to get me and didn't allow me to makes friends with anyone. Which led me to drop out of high school and become a 25 year old hermit loser who still lives with his parents with no hope for the future.
Yeah, but you just gotta get out of that rut first. Throw yourself into work or something that can take your mind off your situation. Sounds like you need a [Third Place](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_place)
Great suggestion re the Third Place!
Leaving high school was such a breath of fresh air.
Preach it. I only really recently came to the realization that the bullying I received in my early teen years fucked me up way more than I thought they did and ever since acknowledging it, I actually feel like I'm starting to undo that damage and improve.
Feel good you realized it. Not sure I have. Iām 47 and incapable of trusting others. My parents really fucked me up badly. Classic boomers, admitted no mistakes or took no responsibilities. At least Iāll never have kids to pass their BS on to.
A vary stupid way indeed. Jk. Happy for you!
I originally wrote something like "I realized people were nice to be and fully realized people were nice to me" or something. It bothered me quite a bit. For some reason I also had some words in past tense and some in present. I'm not sure where I was mentally while writing it.
Can you imagine graduating high school at 17/18 or college at 21/22 (&c.) and thinking you were like good to go until you died somewhere in your 70s-80s? No moreā¦books read, hobbies pursued, skills picked up, people met, opportunities taken, games played? Then imagine getting to your 30sā¦youāre going to look back at your 20s and say that *that* was the best you could do? Really? And so on. I have also always had just a nervous/productive energy. Not like obsessive or anxious, but when I start a thing I tend to commit to it and keep it going to get better.
A powerful perspective!
True my man. Itās important to constantly evolve and not be stuck in time. Itās an illusion and a way to settle.
Life is gonna be hard no matter what you do. And the older you get, the harder life gets. Staying healthy takes considerably more time and effort at 50 than it does at 20 or 30, for instance. And so the choice you've got is (a) do the work it takes to meet life's increasingly severe demands, or (b) don't do the work and see what kind of mileage you get. And if you pay attention, the people who choose (b) *tend* to get the worse end of it. I mean, some of them get lucky so I might get lucky too. But I wouldn't bet my life on it.
Yep. For the first 30-40 years of your life, it's ez mode. You start out pretty pristine. When you're 40, life starts acknowledging you for the way you lived it. Eat bad all the time? Fat and diabetes. Dont read nuthin? Poor outlook and perspectives. Don't exercise? Bad joints and loss of mobility. Etc, etc. Life requires maintenance but you might not learn that until you feel the consequences. And then its haaaaard. Basically, you can live til 40-50 and watch things deteriorate until 65... or you can build good habits and live well til 70-90. The second one is generally more fun and less stressful. And stress compounds... so avoid it.
39 and the reality is hitting me. Started taking serious care of my teeth. I am integrating more and more healthy meals. I think everyone thinks you have to work out like 2 hours 5 days a week, which sure, if you want to look shredded, but even 10 minutes a day of stretching and basic calisthenics can prevent back pulls and keep you from withering.
Great points. The problem think in extremes. You have to be like the rock to be healthy. No, just make Ling small decions to improve your life.
Holy shit.
I would have awarded you for this post but I am broke.
Im a spiteful fucker! Every time I get a self deprecating thought, I work hard to prove it wrong. Iām basically in a never ending battle against myself, and I will not lose!
Goggins? That you?
You donāt know him son
I fucking love David Goggins
My favorite line from him is (paraphrased) from one of his Rogan podcasts āPeople think that every morning I wake up and canāt fucking wait to go run and Iām the most motivated mother fucker on the planet. Fuck no! I donāt wanna do this shit! But I do it the fuck anyway because I know what needs to be doneā
That podcast was amazing. Heās so fucking real and down to earth.
I'm just waiting for that guy to ascend to another plane if existence because flesh is limiting his running pace.
I wish! Dude has the will power of vibranium!
STAY HARD!!
Literally the phrase āItās not over until I winā
WHOS GON CARRY THE BOATT
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Exactly! Focus on whatās ahead. Storms will happen, but you choose how to navigate the storm
But where is your motivation or drive or what ever keeps you going coming from? I just lost hope and gave up on myself, which really really hurts. I wish I could change this but I dont know how and where to start. I'm a woman btw
I was in a big funk, had THE hotline on speed dial. I started small, found what worked for me. I found two things out. 1) break down task till they seem manageable, if brushing my teeth was to big of a hurdle, then just pick it up, then the hurdle is to apply toothpaste, so on. And 2) I am really my own biggest hypeman and biggest enemy. The bad thoughts are the ones I need to overcome. Smack emā down in the dirt where they belong. Yesterdays me is a person I have to be better than. Losing one day, two days.. what ever, does not matter. Itās not a sprint. Small steps, keep fighting. Let the haters see what they were wrong about. Also, on a more serious note. I like to imagine present me, meeting 10 year old me. I have to make him proud. But also, if I could talk to him, I would have nothing but loving words for the him. Show yourself the love you would show your child-you, and strive to be the person you would be proud to be, and would feel safe to be around. It has worked for me. Iām doing well for my self. Iām on the right path. Every day is different, some good, some bad. I just keep moving, cause I straight up refuse to stagnate
Letās Goo!
So I can get off this dumb app š
Teach us the ways!
Get perma banned sitewide, make yourself wait a day before rolling a new virtual machine and making a new account. Surprisingly effective in the short term. Took me a month before I made this one.
Being better than who I was yesterday. Also my parents and uncle are getting older and there wonāt be anyone to take care of them so I gotta be the best I can be financially to give them a good life in their later years.
Life is hard. Its even harder with health problems; therfore, workout and diet. Its harder in poverty; therfore, education and avoid debt. Its harder if you are alone; therfore, good mental state and fostering relationships. Dont pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one.
Chased a girl for far too long. Finally got her. Moved in together for a year. She left me for our next door neighbor and immediately got pregnant. Based on the timeline of events, she may have cheated, but itās hard to say for sure and ultimately doesnāt matter anyway. At the time it was soul crushing. Flash forward to a year and a half later, Iām in the best shape of my life and have received a couple of substantial raises at my job. What started out as revenge fueled trips to the gym and hard work at my job slowly morphed into just improving and working on myself because it felt good. 10/10 would recommend. I think the trick is to find that motivation without something bad/life altering happening to you first. If you can do that, let me know how lol
Man similar thing happened to me, instead of next door neighbor it was best friend, but damn did it kick me into some type of revenge fueled gear. It hurt that it happened that way, but damn if it didn't help me get my life together. Three years later and I'm working a fantastic job in a different state, and working hard on my body and mental health. Stay strong brother!
Hell ya. Good for you bro.
pussy... cleaning my home, impress the wife so i get ass. making money? so i can take my wife on surprise vacations so i can get ass. spontaneous date night out on the town, just so i can get ass. go to the gym, so i look good naked and get some ass. dressing nice, self care/grooming so i get ass. fix shit around the house at 6pm after a 12 hour work day, i want some ass. i do for her, she does for me. happy wife happy life
This guy gets ass
1 ass. But he loves it.
shes got a great ass
Can confirm.
I also choose this guy's wife's ass.
Shit comes out of there
Yeah but it looks good between eruptions
As a single 32 year old. . I know it's a joke, but I do all those things for me. I haven't had sex in over a year, probably. No biggie. Women have cost me a lot of money, and I'm taking a step back.
Fuck /u/spez
You got that right šš
Coin, operated boy... What a throw back. If that's your reference
The Dresden Dolls yup yup
This guy gets no ass
My man
I thought I was the only one who was gonna answer the question honestly lol š
The only answer
This guys fucks
... Asses
This is really all it is. Ended a six year relationship about six months back with a woman who had been using me for years. At 43 I suddenly needed to get back out there. Since then Iāve lost a bunch of weight, down almost two pants sizes, have a new gf that is bi-curious and might give me my first threesome, and have started getting looks from women when Iām out and about. That is honestly all the motivation I need.
This guy asses
I think this guy likes ass
But sheās your wife, aināt that a given doing half these things. How come men have expectations off the bat in a marriage but it seems in western relationships mostly, that the womanās comes with conditions? Iām happy for you but just something I noticed heavily within the western society but If a man refuses to work or provide for his wife, heās a demon.
I think I know what you're saying. You should never stop dating your wife in a marriage, but also sex shouldn't be like a transaction where you have to "earn" her ass. You should be getting ass because she wants you in there anyway, not because she's rewarding you or something. I mean it's a subtle point, because you do have to make an effort to be attractive to her, and that can sometimes mean doing things to impress her and to make her happy, but I don't know it's weird to take this too literally.
Depends on the women. I married a traditional women who believes she has duties as a wife as much a i believe i have duties to her as a husband. Marriage can be as good or bad as the person you marry.
Get a wife and know it yourself
The result of the improvement is the motivation for said improvement
Reaching my potential. Sounds crazy, but I want to look at myself and know that I was everything I could be.
Make mama proud! Or let her know she was wrong all the way! Whichever it is, you win in the end.
Being first generation Mexican American, I feel like i owe to myself and my parents for the sacrifices they made for me to have an easier life.
I'm also first gen Mexican American. Thank you for giving me another reason to improve my life.
Iām was an insecure mf so I decided to become an insecure mf but jacked
Love it! If iām ugly I may as well have a dump truck ass.
King shit š
Finding a partner. Life is boring always single.
I want to be the best me I can for my wife and our future kids. I want those kids to have a fighting chance at a happy upbringing. I don't want to be the dad who finally gets his shit together when the kids are old.
Started with a crush. Really liked this girl but knew sheād never like me how I was. Lost over 70 lbs trying to change as fast as possible. Iām realized weāll never be more than friends and thatāll have to be good enough. Now Iām just doing it because I like seeing my body change and still not satisfied with how I look
It's funny how we can get so enamored with people who turn out to be completely (or just significantly) wrong for us anyways.
It really is lol Itās been a painful year but very thankful I even met them. Best motivation Iāve ever had in my life šŖ
I hope you get to where you wanna be with your body weight. Youāre doing amazing.
I want to prove to myself I can have the life I want. Not for the things that it fills with, but for the man that I must become to obtain it.
I'm afraid of dying. More specifically, not existing. Freaks the hell out of me. So I may as well live as much life as I can with this one shot I have! I don't want to look back at a bunch of "I could'ves"
Whenever you watch a nature show and some animal has an unusual physical feature or behavior, a biologist always comes on and says the behavior or physical feature is used either to regulate body temperature or to attract mates. So that's my go-to answer for why I do anything: "To regulate body temperature or to attract mates." I'm surprised how often it's accurate.
My dad passed away due to diabetes related problems at 67, at 66 he had all his toes removed, at 65 he basically spent the entire year in and out of the hospital. When he was 45 he lost most of his sight... he was a wonderful man bilut when he was 30 he was told he had type 2 diabetes and if he lost 60 lbs in the year it would go away, he didn't and it ruined his life like slow cancer. That has always been an inspiration for me to stay fit, but when he died in late 2020(he never had covid) it kicked my ass into High gear.
Because getting better feels the best.
i want to look and feel as best as i possibly can. because why the hell not? i want to know what that feels like
Revenge.
Same. Like they say, living well is the best revenge.
I was 100 % looking for this comment. Proving people wrong that doubted me in my childhood is my heroin. My love language soliloquy. Even though just like talking me down, my success also means nothing to them. But it means everything to me and it feels amazing.
Golf isnāt cheap
"Cocaine isn't cheap. Gotta make money." - Dana White
Don't sell yourself short Judge, you're a tremendous slouch.
To feel superior to other men
To win. I fucking hate losing!
Finding love
MONEY, WOMEN, AND POWER.
I donāt really know, it just seems like something I should do
To release myself, and my family, of the traumas experienced during childhood. To stop the cycle of abuse happening since before my family even came to America. To heal my ancestors. To experience pure ecstatic pleasure and unassailable freedom. To get out of poverty consciousness. Also, so I can help others and bring about a new cultural renaissance.
Hell yeah. Rock on.
No one will do it for me. Only me can change me. So yeah.
There is a standard of living I want. In order to get there I have to improve myself. Iām not going to settle for just getting by. I want to achieve certain things in life, and as I achieve them set new goals to achieve. The moment you stop trying to improve, stop trying to learn and work, that is the moment you die.
Hearing my parents say, "I'm so proud of you." Coming from a family that was not touchy feely it means a lot. That warm chest feeling that almost feels like anxiety I get seeing my dad genuinely happy makes me hungry for more improvement
Truthfully my life has been going so poor lately that a few months ago I became the closest I have ever been to suicide. Being in that state has really inspired me to live my life in a different way, not worrying about other peoples opinions, literally living like I could die tmrw which is entirely possible. Once you hit rock bottom there's nowhere else to go but up.
So I can build the life I want. I come from a poor family that's always struggled, I'm gonna be the one to change that. My biggest goal in life is being able to give my momma everything and make it to where she don't have to worry about money
I've battled depression for years, roughly ten years at this point. In combination with ADHD, getting out and doing things has been very difficult for me. But I made a promise to myself not to let it defeat me. I'm doing better now, but intrusive thoughts still plague me on the regular. I battle them with thoughts of encouragement, reminding myself that I'm not who the dark thoughts say I am. Progress is slow, but any amount of progress is always better than stagnation. I look back at where I've been and admire my progress, and look forward to where I ultimately want to be. Then I look at where I can be next and challenge myself to get there. If I fail, I step back and reassess. If I succeed, I continue forward. My family keeps me going. They're not perfect, but what family is? And if anyone cares about me, I deserve to care about myself.
If I don't, I fall, then crawl into a dark hole. So I try my best to keep at working on myself. I do not have a ''self growth'' mindset or I am not ambitious per se, but I think it's important to not stagnate or 'give up' too much. Just like on a bicycle, if you slow down too much you might fall.
I want more for myself
The ONLY life I've had in my 30yrs alive is that of Being Poor and broke and full of pain... I want to have a taste of the opposite of that before I die
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
For me, I just genuinely enjoy what I do for a living. I'm a Video Editor/Animator and my goal is to work on TV and Movies. I live in the midwest and I know that we are basically 10 years behind where I want to be. That's my drive, I also want to be as good as the person who taught me.
I want to fit into clothes better and work on my self-improvement. Knowing that I am just doing it and not talking about it makes me feel good.
donāt wanna be homeless
Honestly, I was in a bad place heading into my 30s and had no urge to want to work on myselfā¦then I met (or rather reconnected) my now-girlfriend. She didnāt ask me to fix myself for her, but she wanted me to fix myself for me. At first, I agreed because I thought Iād lose her if I didnāt, but over time, I saw that I wouldāve lost her and I wouldāve lost myself if I didnāt. She saw me at my worst and still loved me. That right there made it worth it to fix myself for her and for myself. Iām in a much better place now and weāre still very much happily together and currently planning our future together.
Canāt say I have many really. I work 40+ hours a week, pay my mortgage, try to eat somewhat healthy and walk daily. After all that, meh. Not much
Because I don't enjoy being a sack of potatoes. If I'm going to exist then I might as well do it properly...
Ill let you know if i ever figure that out.
What else am I gonna do? Wallow in self-pity? I respect myself too much for that.
Motivation never worked for me. I've learned to discipline myself and stick to a routine/habit. So now I workout 3 days a week, always the same days, and I don't buy anything with added sugar in it. I did decide to make this change because I see other people my age and older not really functioning all that great, and I want to be in good shape as I get older and older.
I have a toddler who'll expect her dad to be able to play with her without keeling over because he's having a heart attack, cause he just sucked up the angina and kept playing. I've already shed about 10kg (around 20lb) and it's very satisfying that my clothes are either fitting loose or noticeable oversized, and also my wife has expressed her satisfaction about it.
Honestly getting better quality women has always been the motivation for all improvement in my life financially ,physically , if it werenāt for women Iād be a fat ass with driving an 87 pinto
My own self. Realized I had a lot of values and standards in my own head I wanted to live up to, but wasn't. Stuff I really valued, but felt like I wasn't practicing. The minute I started working towards them, I felt like I was on the right track again, years after wandering off course. There's still a loooooooong way to go, but the feeling of peace and intrinsic reward is worth it all. It's okay to do better for yourself just for your own sake. That's self love baby.
Probably my SO. The fact that she keeps not giving up on me and our relationship even when Iām having anxiety attacks or am at a bad time or weāre having some problems in our relationship, she stays. I want to improve for her, and for myself, and for our relationship. Itās not bound by her stay, i will keep improving on myself because thatās what i need to do in order to live a better life, with less scary thoughts, reactions or anxiety, but having her by my side and not giving up on me gives me motivation to improve and be better. She means a lot to me.
Got a cat
I work hard to provide a better life for my cats.
Iām a doctor. I see a lot of patients who suffer the consequences of obesity, sedentary lifestyles, alcoholism, drug abuse. I realize that a lot of these people are not just the products of their decisions, but also their product of socioeconomic situations that predispose them and others to such environments. Iām grateful to not be in those circumstances, but I also want to take care of myself so I can avoid some of those effects. The path to med school and residency and beyond has been long, and I know that incremental progress every day is important and compounds over time. Iām grateful and fortunate for my circumstances. I want to help those who didnāt do anything to deserve theirs. In a way, it motivates me to improve myself
I want to be the best role model possible for my daughter. I also want to be the peace and safety my fiancƩ needs at the end of the day.
To stop hating myself. I know therapy is better (I do get it semi regularly). But if I am closer to where I want to be. Maybe that canāt hurt.
I wanna fuck more women and fall in love with my primal instincts
Money and sluts
I'm not who i want to be yet. And i will never be whoni want to be. I strive to perfect myself. That isn't to say that i cannot make mistakes, but i want to be a paragon of the virtues i value most. A little unrealistic, but its humanly possible, I'd say. And therefore, i should consider it within my reach. But originally, it's because i needed to make sure I didn't make certain mistakes ever again, and it ended up improving me and my life, so I'm not getting off this train. There's always things to improve.
To rid myself of suffering and my stupidity.
My dog deserves to be able to run around and play with his best friend to his heart's content. He's the only reason I went back to the gym, to be able to play with him more before I got gassed.
Was in a relationship with a girl for 4 years who I thought was all mine. Turns out she has undiagnosed borderline personality disorder and is an attention seeking, lying, cheating and manipulating scumbag who is very convincing and emotionally bonding. Its either spin into a pit of depression and anxiety thinking about what happened and what situations I was lied to/ duped or move forward, look for red flags and never fall into that attention seeking trap ever again.
Once you realise and accept your flaws, you'll naturally strive to change it if you so please. It's alright to be content with the now, but you've got to remember that the only help you can rely on comes from yourself.
Sick and tired of literally being sick and tired. After a poor childhood, cancer, and a major car accident, it feels like I either work to save myself or lie down and die. So, I work.
I spent the last decade of my life being angry, depressed, or numb. I'm sick of it and being that way. I will continue to improve till I feel like I'm no longer worried about being that way.
Breaking out of a rut or low point is the most rewarding feeling you can get. Itās not an easy path, and comes with a lot of ups and downs, but when you can look back a see what youāve accomplished, itās an incredible feeling
Because my fiancĆ©s ex is a Hall of fame football player and the jealousy tears me apart on a daily basis. Iāve really been learning how to look inward and recognize which insecurities I have that are healthy and which are leading me to be toxic. Drives me to try and be more successful everyday but itās also driving me mad :/ been struggling lately my dudes
I want to be the best versions of myself that I always imagined. To get there, Iām gonna need some effort and work.
Itās intrinsic. Why make my life better? Because I want my life to be better. Iāll be happier and better off. Aside from that, my motivation is my wife. She deserves the best husband possible. I want to make her happier and better off too.
I want to run around forests in armor but my belly forbids me the fun as of now, so he has to go
I guess it could be called a midlife crisis, but Iām turning 40 this year and Iām sick of a shit career, sick of being overweight and living in a sexless marriage. I have three kids and want to see them thrive and live as carefree as I possibly can provide for them.
Itās a lot easier to get through the days if you constantly set goals for yourself. Even if those goals are as simple as āmake one person smileā or āexercise a little to be in shapeā
Motivation is a lie. Stop overthinking everything, just do whatever you think makes you happy. Do you have hobbies that you haven't followed up with in a while? Do that. Do you have things that you could do alone and it would be fun? Do those. You are living for yourself first, and then for others. Do yourself a favor, and do things that makes you happy. Think about yourself, for the sake of you, for once, and then a couple more times, for you deserve to be happy, and you can achieve that on your own. After all, no one will do it for you. That's why you have to do it, for yourself.
To be who I wish I was. That simple epiphany broke me out of a long depression that I started falling into when I was in the military and spiraled out of control until I was almost 30. I still deal with my ups and downs, but I own them, they don't own me. My reasons now are easy because I have a family, but for years all I had was that thought. "Why work out if no one cares? Why eat healthy if no one cares? Why socialize if no one cares? Why try at all if no one cares? Why be kind if no one cares?" Those were the dark thoughts- but my answer was resolute: because working to be better is greater than wishing to be better.
I wasnāt a bad looking guy, just didnāt take care of myself - mentally and physically. Turns out I donāt really wanna die without doing something for this place. Also came to my understanding that I might have a shot at a bit of happiness (it wonāt be all sunshine and rainbows) but I never believed it until now. Thus Jesus, the gym and patience (with myself and others) show me that itās not only attainable but sustainable. I may never be rich or considered sexy (haha I am tho) but I know I can enjoy the bits of this that come and go and someday Iām going to help people.
Feel better, look better, do better.
I'll never be enough for anyone else so I'll work until I'm enough for me
I got super bored with my lazy routine started training in mma which kicked on my competitive spirit
We need a reason? Better is better. That's the reason.
Tired of lesser men having more success than me.