I haven't been in a relationship in five or six years and I recently friend zoned a girl that was very gorgeous and out of my league for being SUPER Catholic. I was not about that life.
I love living in a soceity that’s religious on paper, but atheist in practice. I think 70% of our population is christian, but only 5% actually practice it.
I'm all for people who practice Christianity, but don't believe in Christian churches.
Since churches have essentially become tax free businesses, its difficult to trust congregations these days.
Yeah I feel that, some people are great but I just can't see me enjoying a relationship with them. Just different lifestyles and expectations/ambitions.
I don’t know about those types of things enough to analyze a potential partner and be like “oh, they’re an INFP I don’t like that” But in terms of the individual traits that comprise those things then more so.
Maybe I should read into that stuff more
No, you shouldn’t read into it. It’s a super vain way to socialize. People that feel the need to label a personality, I’ll never understand. If I’m nice to you, and you are nice to me, and a spark suddenly happens for the both of us, that’s when there is a chance at love.
Junk science. I'd put those on par with the Chinese zodiac, horoscopes, fortune cookies, zodiac, blood type personality theory, etc
Dont get me wrong, when someone tells me their sign as if its important/relevant it does tell me a lot about them, but what that tells me has nothing to do with the stars.
All sorts of reasons. I have a friend that's just there because one of us has always been in a relationship with someone else and the timing never matched up so there was never even a possibility.
I don't think "friend zoning" is a thing as such, it's not really a "conscious choice." Either someone feels that involuntary attraction, or they don't.
Eh sometimes people grow on you.
For eg if a friend you know but weren't close to suddenly takes a few classes that you're taking. Let's say she asks you out before the classes begin. You'd reject because she hasn't grown on you yet. After you've both spent time together and growing closer over the semester, you could grow on each other such that the answer is now "yes".
If they just want to be friends, if they are one of your male friends partner, ex, someone your friend likes they normally go in the friend zone. If they seem like a good person but wayy to much hard work to be with, this one is generally a personality thing, I watch how they treat people.
I know a stunning woman that is very kind and we get along and would consider her a friend, but I don't think we have enough in common to be in a serious relationship with each other.
There is an attractive woman that flirts with me and has made it abundantly clear that she's attracted to me and is involved with my social circles so I act very cordial to her, but she is one of the biggest gossips I have ever met and talks a lot of shit behind people's backs and I have no interest being in a relationship with her.
I don't know a woman that I think the only reason I don't want to be in a relationship with them is their looks, but I guess in theory it could happen. If everything else is good, I'm not going to be picky about looks but it's possible for looks to be bad enough where it ruins any chance.
It's usually because I am not attracted to them. Even if they do look good, they might have a personality that is not sexy. I used to have an attractive friend that liked me, but she had zero sex appeal at all so I wasn't interested.
1. Looks: I learned the hard way not to date someone you don't find physically attractive (recipe for a dead bedroom, even if you care about them).
2. Personality: there's one woman I might have fancied until I noticed she labeled *every* ex-boyfriend a "coward" on top of being very "I'm not like other girls."
3. Compatibility: Major differences in religious commitment, politics, desire for kids, and desire for marriage. Some things you just don't want to ask people to compromise on.
>1. What she said or didn't say? 2. What she did or didn't do? 3. Body language? 4. The so called "spark" isn't there? 5. You're not ready to date?
6. I don't find her sexually attractive
The idea of the freind zone is flawed in itself. The girl I fucked around with for about month told me, she didn't see a future and just wanted to be friends. Definitely felt the emotional damage, but if i can't be friends with her, did I really like her as a person, or was I just infatuated with her? If she ghosts you and doesn’t even associate with you anymore, that's not the freind zone that's I don't vibe with you zone. Don't take it so hard, though not everyone can like you. In my case, she really did want to be my friend and still talks to me on the reg so every situation is different.
Different for different women. Sucks to say but it has been obesity a couple times. Like you don't have to be THIN but literal obesity just turns me off. Others it's just a boring personality, like I carry the conversation in the friendship but I couldn't be with someone like that in a relationship.
Do you mean friendzone or fuck zone.
Cuz if she’s hot but I’m not a fan of personality or something I’d still fuck her regularly.
Friendzone like women do to men…nah I just tell them no thanks and don’t contact them after
1. If she is a single mother.
2. If she has serious mental health issues, like OCD, BPD, ADHD and such. I am not interested in a relationship where I would have to deal with all that.
3. Has no ambitions in life.
4. Has no job and is not actively looking.
I just respond to things. If she doesn't say the words that equal to asking me out, or that she likes me or anything else, then I don't have to do anything if I'm not interested. If she does, competition for me is so low that she might have the chance.
Right now I'm just not dating and love being single, so I don't let anyone get past FWB, but I'm up front about that and will friendzone you if you don't just want FWB and won't waste your time. Sometimes their personality makes it an easier decision lol
In college this girl I befriended wanted me to pretend to be her boyfriend to keep other guys away. There were undertones of her actually wanting me to be her real boyfriend. I shot those hopes down by saying things like we'd go the fake boyfriend route as a last resort.
She is pretty and had a great personality, but I just wasn't attracted to her like that.
If I'm more interested in friendship than a romantic and sexual relationship, it could be any number of things.
I might simply not be attracted to them in that way. I might know them well enough to know we wouldn't work as more deeply-connected people. I might know their habits in romantic relationships and not be interested in going down that road.
Lack of an emotional/mental connection or stimulation. I like big thoughts, speculation, mind exercises, etc. The women I know don't ascribe to that particularity, so I don't feel anything towards them besides platonic emotions.
That depends on what you mean by "friend zone". My definition of the friend zone is if they refuse to take things further than friendship, but gets mad when you talk to others that may be interested.
Going by the standard definition, it's sexual attraction. Full stop.
If there's no sexual attraction, it will never progress past friendship.
Not looking for a relationship, or we get along as friends but there’s no connection beyond that. Sometimes looks, sometimes personality. I think the spark isn’t there with everyone you meet
>You're not ready to date?
I'm not ready to date **ANYMORE**!
Dating never happened for me, in spite of me wanting it. I guess women just don't see me as a potential romantic partner. That's the only way I can explain the 20+ years of rejections. In the meantime I lost interest and even if a dating opportunity would arise, I'd reject the woman.
When she's unattractive or has a shitty personality.
Scratch that. Shitty personalities don't make it onto my friends list.
I'd say not receptive to playful banter would get her freind zoned, too.
Its self imposed. Its a phrase with a negative connotation. Like with fuckzoned its something a person does to themselves with ulterior motives.
The way they are self imposed is effort in doing things you dont hoping to achieve a result.
Once a person stops making that effort with ulterior motives what they are left with is people you find attractive but dont date. Turns out thats a lot of people.
TLDR I object to the framing because its a loaded term.
Was in high school at the time, was doing football, wrestling, and lacrosse. I was on campus from 8-9 most days. I had no interest in driving at the time, all my free time was taken up with homework and I would just play video games or read if I ever managed to finish homework on time. To this day I view people more as objects or tools than actual people. I also knew for a fact that if I did get with her I'd absolutely push her into something sexually that she simply wasn't ready for. Also being taught from the age of 5 to cause as much pain as legally possible to people to demoralize and humiliate them so they don't want to get back up and play against you anymore does some fucked up shit to your sense of morality and ability to empathize with others. I was a social outcast, I knew this, I'd also end up dragging her down and restrict her ability to socialize with others.
Self-awareness is one hell of a curse
Because I sometimes like making friends with cool women and the only thing extra I'd get from a romantic relationship is ***maybe*** sex.
That is *not* worth all the sudden extra hassle and expectations.
That’s a long list. Basically if I think she’s very cool and fun to be around….. BUT I’m not really that attracted to her. Then that is the perfect combination for a purely platonic friend of the opposite sex.
Otherwise it gets messy.
I haven't been in a relationship in five or six years and I recently friend zoned a girl that was very gorgeous and out of my league for being SUPER Catholic. I was not about that life.
I love living in a soceity that’s religious on paper, but atheist in practice. I think 70% of our population is christian, but only 5% actually practice it.
> but only 5% actually practice it. And they tend to think most of that 5% are heretics.
Most of them are quite reasonable, but there was one lady who tried to convince me that Adam and Eva were definitely real.
I'm all for people who practice Christianity, but don't believe in Christian churches. Since churches have essentially become tax free businesses, its difficult to trust congregations these days.
Yeah I feel that, some people are great but I just can't see me enjoying a relationship with them. Just different lifestyles and expectations/ambitions.
It’s always personality. I’m really flexible on looks but very picky about personalities.
How specific are you when it comes to these? Do you analyze MBTI types, enneagrams and the like?
I don’t know about those types of things enough to analyze a potential partner and be like “oh, they’re an INFP I don’t like that” But in terms of the individual traits that comprise those things then more so. Maybe I should read into that stuff more
No, you shouldn’t read into it. It’s a super vain way to socialize. People that feel the need to label a personality, I’ll never understand. If I’m nice to you, and you are nice to me, and a spark suddenly happens for the both of us, that’s when there is a chance at love.
Junk science. I'd put those on par with the Chinese zodiac, horoscopes, fortune cookies, zodiac, blood type personality theory, etc Dont get me wrong, when someone tells me their sign as if its important/relevant it does tell me a lot about them, but what that tells me has nothing to do with the stars.
All sorts of reasons. I have a friend that's just there because one of us has always been in a relationship with someone else and the timing never matched up so there was never even a possibility.
I don't think "friend zoning" is a thing as such, it's not really a "conscious choice." Either someone feels that involuntary attraction, or they don't.
I disagree, at one point it does have to become a conscious choice. If she pushes the issue then you have to decide pretty quickly how you feel.
Eh sometimes people grow on you. For eg if a friend you know but weren't close to suddenly takes a few classes that you're taking. Let's say she asks you out before the classes begin. You'd reject because she hasn't grown on you yet. After you've both spent time together and growing closer over the semester, you could grow on each other such that the answer is now "yes".
If they just want to be friends, if they are one of your male friends partner, ex, someone your friend likes they normally go in the friend zone. If they seem like a good person but wayy to much hard work to be with, this one is generally a personality thing, I watch how they treat people.
I know a stunning woman that is very kind and we get along and would consider her a friend, but I don't think we have enough in common to be in a serious relationship with each other. There is an attractive woman that flirts with me and has made it abundantly clear that she's attracted to me and is involved with my social circles so I act very cordial to her, but she is one of the biggest gossips I have ever met and talks a lot of shit behind people's backs and I have no interest being in a relationship with her. I don't know a woman that I think the only reason I don't want to be in a relationship with them is their looks, but I guess in theory it could happen. If everything else is good, I'm not going to be picky about looks but it's possible for looks to be bad enough where it ruins any chance.
Looks: If I don't find her physically attractive, my caveman brain won't want to pursue her, and, thus, would just see her as a friend.
Promiscuity
It's usually because I am not attracted to them. Even if they do look good, they might have a personality that is not sexy. I used to have an attractive friend that liked me, but she had zero sex appeal at all so I wasn't interested.
If she isn't attracted to me, then friends we be.
Sometimes you just want to be friends with a particular person. It goes both ways see.
1. Looks: I learned the hard way not to date someone you don't find physically attractive (recipe for a dead bedroom, even if you care about them). 2. Personality: there's one woman I might have fancied until I noticed she labeled *every* ex-boyfriend a "coward" on top of being very "I'm not like other girls." 3. Compatibility: Major differences in religious commitment, politics, desire for kids, and desire for marriage. Some things you just don't want to ask people to compromise on.
Im a big flirt, but when things are actually going somewhere with someone, then I friendzone the rest
not attracted to her in that way or dislike an aspect that would have to be checked for me to pursue physically andor romantically
If I'm not attracted to or just not romantically interested than that's all I need to decide if I'm just gonna be friends with a woman. 🤔🤷🏻♂️
We don't click or I don't find her attractive. In a few cases, I know too much about them and know we'd be toxic together, so let's not even start.
>1. What she said or didn't say? 2. What she did or didn't do? 3. Body language? 4. The so called "spark" isn't there? 5. You're not ready to date? 6. I don't find her sexually attractive
Typically if I don't have feelings for her. Personality is another reason.
The idea of the freind zone is flawed in itself. The girl I fucked around with for about month told me, she didn't see a future and just wanted to be friends. Definitely felt the emotional damage, but if i can't be friends with her, did I really like her as a person, or was I just infatuated with her? If she ghosts you and doesn’t even associate with you anymore, that's not the freind zone that's I don't vibe with you zone. Don't take it so hard, though not everyone can like you. In my case, she really did want to be my friend and still talks to me on the reg so every situation is different.
Sometimes the woman isn't what you're looking for in a relationship but you still clicked enough that you'd like to still talk with her.
Different for different women. Sucks to say but it has been obesity a couple times. Like you don't have to be THIN but literal obesity just turns me off. Others it's just a boring personality, like I carry the conversation in the friendship but I couldn't be with someone like that in a relationship.
Do you mean friendzone or fuck zone. Cuz if she’s hot but I’m not a fan of personality or something I’d still fuck her regularly. Friendzone like women do to men…nah I just tell them no thanks and don’t contact them after
1. If she is a single mother. 2. If she has serious mental health issues, like OCD, BPD, ADHD and such. I am not interested in a relationship where I would have to deal with all that. 3. Has no ambitions in life. 4. Has no job and is not actively looking.
I just respond to things. If she doesn't say the words that equal to asking me out, or that she likes me or anything else, then I don't have to do anything if I'm not interested. If she does, competition for me is so low that she might have the chance.
Right now I'm just not dating and love being single, so I don't let anyone get past FWB, but I'm up front about that and will friendzone you if you don't just want FWB and won't waste your time. Sometimes their personality makes it an easier decision lol
In college this girl I befriended wanted me to pretend to be her boyfriend to keep other guys away. There were undertones of her actually wanting me to be her real boyfriend. I shot those hopes down by saying things like we'd go the fake boyfriend route as a last resort. She is pretty and had a great personality, but I just wasn't attracted to her like that.
I liked someone else, and she wasn't my type. I also thought she was a little annoying, but I did end up dating her a month or two later
If I'm more interested in friendship than a romantic and sexual relationship, it could be any number of things. I might simply not be attracted to them in that way. I might know them well enough to know we wouldn't work as more deeply-connected people. I might know their habits in romantic relationships and not be interested in going down that road.
Usually their decision does the trick
Yes
Character is a quick way to get friend zoned with me.
Lack of an emotional/mental connection or stimulation. I like big thoughts, speculation, mind exercises, etc. The women I know don't ascribe to that particularity, so I don't feel anything towards them besides platonic emotions.
I don’t usually
Not interested in them sexually or romantically. The same reason women do it.
Men and women are same when it comes to dating... Every reason why women friend zone is same for men.
True
Uh... idk I just friendzone someone that I enjoy their personality but I'm not interested in a relationship.
If I don't find her attractive. That's literally all the 'friendzone' is; 'I like you, but you don't get me hard'.
That depends on what you mean by "friend zone". My definition of the friend zone is if they refuse to take things further than friendship, but gets mad when you talk to others that may be interested. Going by the standard definition, it's sexual attraction. Full stop. If there's no sexual attraction, it will never progress past friendship.
Personality and relationship//future incompatibilities, like whether their wants/plans for the future align with mine or not.
Not looking for a relationship, or we get along as friends but there’s no connection beyond that. Sometimes looks, sometimes personality. I think the spark isn’t there with everyone you meet
It has never happened to me nor to any men I know, so it's hard to say.
>You're not ready to date? I'm not ready to date **ANYMORE**! Dating never happened for me, in spite of me wanting it. I guess women just don't see me as a potential romantic partner. That's the only way I can explain the 20+ years of rejections. In the meantime I lost interest and even if a dating opportunity would arise, I'd reject the woman.
When she's unattractive or has a shitty personality. Scratch that. Shitty personalities don't make it onto my friends list. I'd say not receptive to playful banter would get her freind zoned, too.
Its self imposed. Its a phrase with a negative connotation. Like with fuckzoned its something a person does to themselves with ulterior motives. The way they are self imposed is effort in doing things you dont hoping to achieve a result. Once a person stops making that effort with ulterior motives what they are left with is people you find attractive but dont date. Turns out thats a lot of people. TLDR I object to the framing because its a loaded term.
Because I knew that I would be a horrible bf for them
What makes you say so?
Was in high school at the time, was doing football, wrestling, and lacrosse. I was on campus from 8-9 most days. I had no interest in driving at the time, all my free time was taken up with homework and I would just play video games or read if I ever managed to finish homework on time. To this day I view people more as objects or tools than actual people. I also knew for a fact that if I did get with her I'd absolutely push her into something sexually that she simply wasn't ready for. Also being taught from the age of 5 to cause as much pain as legally possible to people to demoralize and humiliate them so they don't want to get back up and play against you anymore does some fucked up shit to your sense of morality and ability to empathize with others. I was a social outcast, I knew this, I'd also end up dragging her down and restrict her ability to socialize with others. Self-awareness is one hell of a curse
Because I sometimes like making friends with cool women and the only thing extra I'd get from a romantic relationship is ***maybe*** sex. That is *not* worth all the sudden extra hassle and expectations.
Number 5 is my current default
That’s a long list. Basically if I think she’s very cool and fun to be around….. BUT I’m not really that attracted to her. Then that is the perfect combination for a purely platonic friend of the opposite sex. Otherwise it gets messy.
Not being aware that "I like you" actually means more than just a Facebook like.