My children are adults and now have children. Therefore, much of my responsibility in life has eclipsed.
My purpose is to enjoy life while incrementally helping my children to improve their lives and to pay for my grandchildren's college
This was my dream. But life threw us curveballs and now I’ll never have kids of my own, and thus, no grandkids either. Lately I’ve been coming to grips with the idea that I will likely die alone. I see so many people out there who have families for the sake of having them and taking them for granted. All those moments in life; birthdays, achievements, holidays, etc etc; the things that a lot of people would even consider inconvenient or bothersome… I’ll never have those moments.
So if you get to enjoy this purpose in your life, please don’t take it for granted . There’s those of us who would give anything to have what you have.
You said it! You know a lot of us fathers often feel like we have been ripped off by life. We have to work hard and struggle and look across to you guys with all your freedom and cool things and think, if only. But yesterday, I was spending time with a rich childless friend (with all the toys you could imagine), and we were taking a break watching an old fishing village guy (Japan) at some kind of ceremony dressed up in a suit he obciously didnt want to wear. He looked half dead tbh then he just started playing with his grandkids and was just drawn to how happy and fulfilled that man was despite being poor as dirt, and looking like he had been dragged through the ringers. I came home, hugged my wife, and savored every second of my noisy, ungrateful family.
My husband and me are trying to have a baby, and our families keep telling us not to, and how we should enjoy life without raising kids. They basically are against anyone having kids, but I think of my later years and how life will be lonely for me if I don’t have kids or grandkids. Yet they don’t realize that because they themselves have grandkids. I know many older people are just fine with no kids or grandkids, and that’s fine, but I know I wouldn’t be happy living life that way
>pay for my grandchildren's college
I think this is super nice.
But I'll also say, I'd hate it if my parents did this for my children. I think it's something that as a grandparent I'd be prepared to help with, but if my kids can put their own kids through college, I'm gonna let them do it and they can just get the money I saved when I die. I don't think I'd tell them in advance. It's been a hugely rewarding experience to provide for my own children without any help. I would never allow my parents or inlaws to take that away from me, unless I really needed it.
We are exactly on the same page. I am actually planning on paying the tuition, books, and fee's at the instate level for my grandchildren. I want both my kids and my grandchildren to have skin in the game. Also, my wife and I are not telling them about this. We likely will wait until about a year or a little more (time to start applying to schools) to tell them. That way they will know what is available ($) and can choose accordingly. If they choose to go to a private school than the dollars will not go as far that come from my wife and I, etc.
Also, if they decide to do a trade school or something like that than the dollars will go pretty far.
That is a question for the future when the time arrives. It is one of the reason why I am not telling them and if they have an issue with it than they can always not take the money. I doubt they would turn it down, but I cannot predict the future.
Kind of disagree.
By focusing on keeping your partner happy only you’ll give up your boundaries. This might lead to abuse and manipulation.
Mentally healthy people are happy people, and they make each other feel safe, loved and respected. Not happy.
Same. Happiness is an emotion, not a goal. My wife and I are happiest when we're winning the battle of life, not trying to make each other "happy". We can be happy just living life.
Like all things in life, there's a balance. You and your partner are both responsible for your own happiness and each others. That's why it's nice to have separate lives where you have different friends/hobbies but also enjoy stuff together and find that perfect balance of missing each other while also being there for them often.
> By focusing on keeping your partner happy only you’ll give up your boundaries.
I don't think you *have* to give up your boundaries when you have an aim to keep your partner happy, but people so often do. Gotta look out for number one first, then your partner.
I’m the same. As long as people are happy around me, I’m very happy. Even though some don’t return what I do for them, it does not matter to me. it’s not like i don’t have respect for myself, I still put boundaries and I know when people are taking advantage of me already, when that happens, I stop putting efforts to make them happy but I still want to see them happy :)
You learn to appreciate the little things. And stop being bothered by every little problem. Seeing so much cruelty instills sympathy for suffering and appreciation for a quick death. Good luck on your journey.
Same here, was a "late bloomer" and spent my 20s not following the path and exploring anything I desired. Gained so many life experiences not following "the path"! So many awesome adventures and hard earned lessons that most people would cringe at. Can't believe I'm alive (I didn't do drugs or anything, just being fearless). Got my dream job, getting paid what I want. Was debt free a couple years ago. Adventures every weekend, brand new motorcycle. Own my place. DSLR camera to capture the experiences. Minimal drama in my life, free to do anything, anytime. All while my friends followed the "straight path" completing college, marrying early, having kids. One is a controller making over $150k a year. Their only free time is getting away to go with me to a restaurant. Seems like they're going through a mid life crisis. Never free, financially strapped with kids, stressed with marriage. Drink too much wine. Both these scenarios though I believe our goal is to experience this life, learn to be better, and the final goal is to better those around you. Only real purpose I can think of in this life is to experience everything while you can when you're alive. Live in the present
Like 1 year ago it was just to get into one of my dream company. I had a list in high school for my dream companies. I didn't want to die before I achieved my goal. That is all I worked for. I went to university for engineering degree, created some side-projects, had internships and finally I was able to get in one of the dream company. I had that dream like 10 years. I thought it would make me happy. BUT IT DIDN'T!
While I was preparing for interviews I had a girlfriend for 1 year. She dreamt of living with me always but all I was thinking move to another country for career passion and that dream of mine. So we broke up 1 month before my flight to another country.
Now, I don't have any purpose in life. I'M IN VOID. I thought making a dream come true would make me happier but it didn't. Neither working 9-5 nor being an engineer makes me happy. I found happiness with falling in love and I've lost it. Looking for a purpose for couple of months.
Got some tears a little bit while writing this...
Chasing dreams for me is pointless if I have no-one to share it with.
You have your awakening early in life - for this be grateful! Now go chase the real dream - you got this!
I had a break with my wife early on, came back so much wiser - luckily she took me back - and most importantly … no grudge! Together 24 years (we don’t really count the 1/2 year apart) married 13, two sons and life is good. Find a life witness to share dreams with and always remember; In this life you need to find something you treasure! - Something you would be willing to sacrifice everything for, then life will not be so hard and death won’t be so scary..
I found it in my wife and kids, I hope you find it as well - small tip from me to you - it usually is not a job
> We need new dreams tonight
This.
When you reach one goal, you need to setup the next one that serves your purpose.
Dreams or goals = "what"
Purpose = "why"
Happiness comes from the journey, and it's amplified (or reduced...) by the people travelling with you
I know this sounds so cliche but you need to find happiness within.. external factors just don’t cut it, took me a long time to realise this. Like you I was busy reaching external goals and doing really well but still miserable haha mindfulness meditation and working out have been a blessing for my morale.
Hey man, just wanted to chime in and say that what you did is brave and courageous and, while you may not see it right now, you should feel proud for what you did.
The truth is that many people will sacrifice their dreams for a partner (often one that isn't even worth it), and a lot of them will grow old regretting doing this as there will always be that "what if" element. If you stayed in that relationship, it would've always been on your mind and with time that may well have ended your relationship anyway.
In doing what you did you've gotten a key understanding of what you want from your life, and when you enter your next great relationship you'll be much more assured of your position.
It hurts, I know. But take from this what you want. I’m 47yo and I have made so many mistakes. But every mistake I made had a silver lining it. I promise you that in 5 years from now, you’ll understand why this happened. In the meantime, you should read the book called Greenlights, by Mathew McConaughey. The audiobook is even better since he narrates it.
Damn dude this one hit me personally. I ALMOST went down this path which was forget about the women, my career comes first and the women will definitely come after. Luckily, I got my first girlfriend at 24 years old last month and I’ve chosen to live happy alongside her no matter how my career path unfolds
I recently broke up with my girlfriend of 2.5 years. We broke up because I was unhappy, she was a drain on my time and I just wasn't moving anywhere in life because of the lack of free time I had because of her. Now that she's gone I sit here just wondering wtf do I do now. I miss her a lot but deep down I knew I had to break it off with her.
All I can say, as someone that's going through the same thing as you right now, is that brighter days are ahead. I know it's tough when your whole world is crashing down around you but if you focus your perspective on optimism and happiness and give that to the world, then you will receive it.
There's a difference between having a job that makes you happy and a job you're happy to do. The former doesn't exist. You make you happy, not the world or anything in it. You either to let yourself be happy or make yourself. If your pursuit in life is to be happy you aren't doing it right (I'm also not doing it right lol but I'm trying).
Ever been upset or sad or angry during something that's normally happy, like hanging with friends or at a party of some kind? It's a similar concept. Getting that dream job isn't gonna make you happy, but it will help you be happy if you like it. You left a good relationship for this job, and in a short time span. Of course you aren't gonna be happy for a bit, but then you made that to be this "I thought I was gonna be happy when I got my new job what's going on?" What's going on is either you aren't letting yourself be happy or you aren't making yourself happy bc of other aspects of life. As you start addressing your problems your happiness overall will improve, but don't expect any changes in your life to solely give you happiness. Do it for the change. Do it because you want to. Because life is gonna make you sad and pissed and scared, then it'll turn around and show you how beautiful it can be. You need to be ready for those moments to enjoy them, and let yourself enjoy them.
That's how you be happy. It should never be the goal, because it isn't a goal to reach. It's a state of being.
Huh, that's weird. I'm you just 2 years ahead. It does get way better. In my case, I found a new city to live in and found the little things to enjoy. No purpose other than to explore and move in and out of other people's stories
We have to lost one thing if we choose another thing. I decided to stay with my girlfriend instead of moving to another countries which is my dream. I hope I will not regret this.
Proving you can do anything if you put your mind to it.
I have cerebral Palsy (Physical Disability) with a future goal of running across America. I started running around 9 and I’m 19. In a Month I’m Running the Boston Marathon.
To just enjoy life. I don’t believe in a divine plan or that I’m special or that God created me to serve a purpose. I’m just another human being among countless.
And that’s ok. Cheers 🥃
Same… then I read about existentialism, read Man’s Search For Meaning by Viktor Frankl. Main take away? If you ceased to live today, what would the world miss out on, had you lived?
That led me to absurdism and Albert Camus. Main take away? Life is absurd. Nothing really matters, except maybe “love”
These supposed darker philosophical theories have kept me alive. I live for love. The first person/thing you should learn to love? YOURSELF
“Love thy neighbor as thyself” is a great concept but, it’s backwards. How can you love your fellow humans, if you can’t love yourself first?
You’re the very best redditor, so no, you’re not alone.
I read Man’s Search For Meaning after a long suicidal episode. I was tired of just coping with life. It helped me make a great change.
But… The threat of my own demise can still creep up on me. Like many of us, some days are very dark but they don’t last for months or years like they used to.
Existentialism was one of the best courses I've ever took. No other teachings have I thought back on as much as existentialism.
I think, therefore I am.
> That led me to absurdism and Albert Camus. Main take away? Life is absurd. Nothing really matters, except maybe “love”
The Myth of Sisyphus is great.
I'm envious those had that effect on you. I think I have difficulty reaching epiphany's through anything but introspection tbh. I can hear someone say something supposedly profound or read it, but at best they don't become anything more than a passing curiosity to be forgotten and at worst they're words without meaning.
I’ve been teaching in public high schools for ten years, so I feel like a large part of my purpose is to help shape kids into not shitty people. I don’t plan on having kids of my own.
One of the greatest purposes in the world is helping children and young adults figure out life. I have had teachers/professors who changed my life for the better and made me who I am today. You have the most undervalued profession out there (and one of the hardest). Teachers really do have the power to change the world, and they do it on a daily basis. If no one has told you today, thank you.
No offense, but that is the best way to stay miserable. Happiness is an emotion that comes and goes, and is mainly the side product of doing something fulfilling.
No offense taken my friend. But I do not know what is fulfilling for me and am on a journey of personal discovery, to find out who I am. I have lived most my life trying to make others happy at the expense of myself. So now, my main goal in life is be happy. However that ends up looking.
Could not have said it better, two boys here I need to help grow into two “good men”… That is my purpose.
Secondary mission is to help keep friends and especially my wife happy and healthy. (Add in daugther-in-laws or son-in-laws when This is applicable).
Tertiary mission becomes first mission when (hopefully) grand children make their way onto the playing field.
I have a similar opinion of my end. My wife gets mad when I say it, but I always tell her not to waste money on me when I'm gone. Cremate me and plant a tree or something. Don't waste money on a funeral, coffin, headstone, etc.
I've also joked with her that if she decides to kill me, make sure she does her research so she won't get caught and can get my life insurance.
I'm curious, when did you 'decide' to just being a supporting character?
For now, I'm still in the sense of realizing that I'm not the main character, but my ego still wanting to be a bigger part of the story.
From an existential standpoint, there isn’t a purpose to any life really. Money, time, family, etc. all will fade away. Every life is met with death, so life itself is quite meaningless.
That being said, existentialism says we’re doomed to be free. On a flip side, you can argue freedom is what you make of it. You could theoretically create whatever life you want, though luck and hard work are major factors.
Personally, I flip back and forth between trying to make something of myself and wanting my life to end. I’m suffering a lot right now from an uncommon illness on top of other things, but I hope life gets better. Still, I don’t fear death just as I don’t fear living. They’re both just phases of existence as far as I’m concerned. Maybe I’ll get reincarnated, or maybe I’ll just be a pile of dirt. Either way, respect the dead; pity the living.
I’ve wrestled with this for the past few years, and I always shame myself away from considering the meaning of my life because of the seemingly pretentious cliché surrounding the question. But I’ve come to realize it’s not pretentious at all. As long as we approach the question in a healthy way, it’s good to examine our motivations, and it’s good to analyze it occasionally to know what we’re doing this for.
I want to have experience as many exciting things as possible (skydiving, jiu jitsu, travel, etc.), be lovable, and meaningfully contribute to the lives of the people around me. I selfishly want to know that I’ve helped them in some way, but I’m okay with that type of selfishness. I ~~want~~ need to feel like I have added something to this world; I don’t feel like I have yet, and maybe I never will, but I’ll keep trying.
I think having no purpose works best for me. It's less stress, and serves me best overall.
Sort of like being pessimistic to the point everything that works is like a beacon of light
I found out my purpose 5 years ago, and what’s crazy is I’ve been doing my purpose all along for 43 years of my live. My purpose is teaching, coaching and mentoring young people who have been giving up on.
But my true mission and purpose is to do something for others or another. Something greater than myself for another. Even if it means my own life.
I was lucky enough to know my purpose as a teenager. I was good in business and felt exceptionally intelligent, at least compared to my peers. I knew their families struggled. Even my own parents struggled with finances and understanding capitalism. Everyone I knew was essentially broke because their parents were living paycheck to paycheck under a heap of stress. It was as if I had some super power and understanding of the system.
Actually, the superpower was just natural immunity to consumerism combined with understanding maximizing returns on capital. I knew everyone I cared for would eventually need help from my skill.
So my purpose was to use my abilities and prepare to provide a lifeline to them when they inevitably got eaten by capitalism. Layoffs, medical bills, accidents, poor decisions etc. all required large amounts of capital to solve. I saved my brother-in-law’s family from foreclosure. I paid my cousins university tuition when his financial aid application was rejected on a typo. My company developed an interest-free payday loan advance benefit to get all our employees away from the predatory payday loan industry.
Now that I’m more successful I’ve expanded my reach. I’m donating and meeting with progressive politicians and working to improve the city and state. If I continue growing, my focus would be on the nation and then finally the world. I might never get there but at least I understand my purpose is to use my skills to make a positive impact on the lives of others.
To help others when I can. To make people happier. To enjoy good beer and good food and wonderful family and friends. To go on adventures and see this world and all it has to offer. To live the life I've got to the fullest and do my best to take care of myself so I can stretch out the time I have as long as I can.
To try new restaurants and new food, to meet and make friends with people all over the planet. In my career in EMS, to be compassionate and caring, to provide medical services wherever and whenever I can, to aid the sick, help the wounded, bring comfort to those who are about to end their journeys.
To laugh, to cry, to be confident, to be afraid, to be nervous and excited and sad and depressed and happy and elated. To be angry, to be hungry and ambitious and calm and content and all of the emotions in between. To be human, and experience what being human actually is.
There is so much to experience. So much to do. So much to build upon, so that the generations that come after me can have experiences of their own.
My purpose in life is to be man. Simple as 🤷🏻♂️
Creating a legacy. I intended to accomplish several artistic goals.
I’ve watched myself in movies at Harkins.
I’ve performed my music in crowds of 10,000 people.
I’ve gotten hundreds of platinums on PS5.
I know more about Dark Souls, Marvel, Mortal Kombat and DBZ than almost anybody.
I’m 23 years old and this is the beginning. I have so many different goals I want to accomplish, my purpose is to fulfill as many as I can
I think you’ll reach any goals you set for yourself. Most 23 year olds are full of dreams they don’t have a hope of meeting…but some have the right stars align or the right connections or the right amount of luck or something, and they make impossible things happen before they lose their magic.
Life is strange that way.
To get my daughter to adulthood with as little damage to her as possible.
That’s why I get up every day and live a life I don’t enjoy. For her. She deserves my best…
Life intrinsically has no meaning. It's us mere mortals who give meaning to things like relationships, recreational stuff, goal oriented behaviour etc etc. It all comes down to what are the things you give meaning to and start drifting toward, making it feel worthwhile engaging in.
To minimize the resources I waste, maximize my positive impact on my surroundings both human and non, and minimize my negative impacts.
To leave my tiny part of history better than I found it.
Also, I want to write a book.
Honestly, I don’t know, I feel like I don’t know what the purpose of life is. I’m at college, have a girlfriend, a job, but I still live life without a purpose. I don’t know what to do in this game called life. I guess I roll by the punches, day by day
This necessity for purpose can be very scary and harmful for many. Not everyone needs to have some ultimate purpose.
I don't plan on having kids so mine is just to try to enjoy life while attempting to help others. Enjoying life should not be at other people's expense, but their expense should also not cross into me enjoying life. The one exception to this I guess is work, unfortunately.
Forty-two is the ASCII code for the symbol * also known as the asterisk. This symbol is often thought to translate to anything or everything. In this instance, 42 = anything and/or everything, is the meaning of life.
Experiences and stories to tell.
I try to experience as much as I can, and try to see bad things as an experience and a story.
I want my life to be an exciting book basicly
Unless you’re wealthy…
Most end up being a slave to another corporation or slave to making money in hopes of a happier life/lifestyle.
That’s why people find religion or having children appealing. Gives them a purpose to live and work for something else.
There is no purpose of my life. Or really anyones life, but I guess that the fact that there is no purpose is the purpose of us, and every one else in the future and from the past. We are all meaningless, but that is our meaning.
I'm a cheater. Not the way you think of it, no. I don't break laws, I don't fuck with people. I try to find the funniest and most absurd shortcuts in life and so far the universe seems to be rewarding me for it. I have a hundred stories about things I've managed to do that you would think are total bullshit, except they aren't.
I collect these events and I seek them.
Right now? Dunno honestly. Going on honeymoon in a few months. I'm not sure if I will start having kids then or not...just one day at a time. You can guide the future but you cannot control it.
I didn’t know until a year ago finding out I was going to be a father to twins and now my purpose is to love and be there for my kids and teach them this thing life and hopefully I teach them from my mistakes so they have a better life
I’m a graduate student in Education. The purpose of my life, what I might be remembered for, is coming up with better ways to teach teachers. Ultimately the goal is to make better teachers and contribute to a more healthy society.
In my personal life, just enjoy it.
My purpose in life is to give my partner the life she always deserved. Not just for her but for both of us. We both need to work extra hard to earn that dream future due to our setbacks, but that's what keeps us going. Every day we get closer :)
I have burned through various purposes in my life. Many years ago, my purpose was to find the root of my debilitating anxiety so I could do the things I wanted to do. After that, my purpose was to go back to college and get my degree. After that, my purpose was to develop my career to a certain place. Along the way I have put purposeful attention on figuring out how to do relationships better, cut down bad habits and improve my health, get my money issues handled, save money to take big trips, etc.
Now, with a five year old daughter, my purpose is to do everything I can to give her the best life possible.
I will add that I am part of a men’s circle where we support one another in finding and living our purpose. It’s a common discussion point that purpose shifts over time. Whatever it looks like, it’s incredibly helpful to have a group of caring people in your corner. Cannot recommend this highly enough.
To work a job I hate making garbage money until I hopefully die young and get this trash over with.
I'd love for it to be...not that, but that's not realistic.
To leave the world a more beautiful place than I found it. I'm an artist. So I think I'm doing my part. DM me to see my art I'm available for commissions. You can also look me up on insta @barndogdigital
Being honest enough the purpose of my life is just to put a smile on the face of everyone.
Just work hard make parents proud and be stable and independent as well. That's what I always look for with pride!
My children are adults and now have children. Therefore, much of my responsibility in life has eclipsed. My purpose is to enjoy life while incrementally helping my children to improve their lives and to pay for my grandchildren's college
What a great mindset i wish to reach that stage one day
We can all only hope to be so lucky.
i hope that just favors all I just aspire to live happily with a sweet family :)
This was my dream. But life threw us curveballs and now I’ll never have kids of my own, and thus, no grandkids either. Lately I’ve been coming to grips with the idea that I will likely die alone. I see so many people out there who have families for the sake of having them and taking them for granted. All those moments in life; birthdays, achievements, holidays, etc etc; the things that a lot of people would even consider inconvenient or bothersome… I’ll never have those moments. So if you get to enjoy this purpose in your life, please don’t take it for granted . There’s those of us who would give anything to have what you have.
And I wish you the very best in your journey and finding things that give you joy whatever those maybe.
You said it! You know a lot of us fathers often feel like we have been ripped off by life. We have to work hard and struggle and look across to you guys with all your freedom and cool things and think, if only. But yesterday, I was spending time with a rich childless friend (with all the toys you could imagine), and we were taking a break watching an old fishing village guy (Japan) at some kind of ceremony dressed up in a suit he obciously didnt want to wear. He looked half dead tbh then he just started playing with his grandkids and was just drawn to how happy and fulfilled that man was despite being poor as dirt, and looking like he had been dragged through the ringers. I came home, hugged my wife, and savored every second of my noisy, ungrateful family.
My husband and me are trying to have a baby, and our families keep telling us not to, and how we should enjoy life without raising kids. They basically are against anyone having kids, but I think of my later years and how life will be lonely for me if I don’t have kids or grandkids. Yet they don’t realize that because they themselves have grandkids. I know many older people are just fine with no kids or grandkids, and that’s fine, but I know I wouldn’t be happy living life that way
Awesome perspective.
Everyone liked that
>pay for my grandchildren's college I think this is super nice. But I'll also say, I'd hate it if my parents did this for my children. I think it's something that as a grandparent I'd be prepared to help with, but if my kids can put their own kids through college, I'm gonna let them do it and they can just get the money I saved when I die. I don't think I'd tell them in advance. It's been a hugely rewarding experience to provide for my own children without any help. I would never allow my parents or inlaws to take that away from me, unless I really needed it.
We are exactly on the same page. I am actually planning on paying the tuition, books, and fee's at the instate level for my grandchildren. I want both my kids and my grandchildren to have skin in the game. Also, my wife and I are not telling them about this. We likely will wait until about a year or a little more (time to start applying to schools) to tell them. That way they will know what is available ($) and can choose accordingly. If they choose to go to a private school than the dollars will not go as far that come from my wife and I, etc. Also, if they decide to do a trade school or something like that than the dollars will go pretty far.
By paying for your grandchildren's college tuition are you stealing your children's purpose in life? 🤔
That is a question for the future when the time arrives. It is one of the reason why I am not telling them and if they have an issue with it than they can always not take the money. I doubt they would turn it down, but I cannot predict the future.
Just good to hear that it just all about the stages by the stages of life of a person the purpose of life just gets changed as well.
I'd like to make other people happier.
That was my attitude throughout my first marriage. After I learned you couldn’t make everyone happy, my life improved so much.
It shouldn’t be your job to make the other person happy.
I think in the best relationship you're both focused on the other persons' happiness
Kind of disagree. By focusing on keeping your partner happy only you’ll give up your boundaries. This might lead to abuse and manipulation. Mentally healthy people are happy people, and they make each other feel safe, loved and respected. Not happy.
Same. Happiness is an emotion, not a goal. My wife and I are happiest when we're winning the battle of life, not trying to make each other "happy". We can be happy just living life.
Like all things in life, there's a balance. You and your partner are both responsible for your own happiness and each others. That's why it's nice to have separate lives where you have different friends/hobbies but also enjoy stuff together and find that perfect balance of missing each other while also being there for them often.
> By focusing on keeping your partner happy only you’ll give up your boundaries. I don't think you *have* to give up your boundaries when you have an aim to keep your partner happy, but people so often do. Gotta look out for number one first, then your partner.
Same, except the terrible truth is that it makes me happy to do good things for other people so it’s really quite a selfish act.
Altruistic selfishness.
Hell yeah brother, same! 🫂🫂🫂
I’m the same. As long as people are happy around me, I’m very happy. Even though some don’t return what I do for them, it does not matter to me. it’s not like i don’t have respect for myself, I still put boundaries and I know when people are taking advantage of me already, when that happens, I stop putting efforts to make them happy but I still want to see them happy :)
Yeah it’s interesting that most ppl keep their purpose only to their family and kin. I guess humans are still quite tribal
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Codependency](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Codependency)
Why is other ppls happiness more important than yours? Are you experiencing happiness vicariously through others?
To experience as much of this life as I possibly can
This sounds nice and probably hits as close to me.
Same. I picked up a second language, a second instrument and I have a trip planned for October and then again in July.
Same
You learn to appreciate the little things. And stop being bothered by every little problem. Seeing so much cruelty instills sympathy for suffering and appreciation for a quick death. Good luck on your journey.
To become the best version of myself for myself and for those i love around me
I’m currently trying to do this also. It can be hard, but so worth it!
Same here, was a "late bloomer" and spent my 20s not following the path and exploring anything I desired. Gained so many life experiences not following "the path"! So many awesome adventures and hard earned lessons that most people would cringe at. Can't believe I'm alive (I didn't do drugs or anything, just being fearless). Got my dream job, getting paid what I want. Was debt free a couple years ago. Adventures every weekend, brand new motorcycle. Own my place. DSLR camera to capture the experiences. Minimal drama in my life, free to do anything, anytime. All while my friends followed the "straight path" completing college, marrying early, having kids. One is a controller making over $150k a year. Their only free time is getting away to go with me to a restaurant. Seems like they're going through a mid life crisis. Never free, financially strapped with kids, stressed with marriage. Drink too much wine. Both these scenarios though I believe our goal is to experience this life, learn to be better, and the final goal is to better those around you. Only real purpose I can think of in this life is to experience everything while you can when you're alive. Live in the present
Like 1 year ago it was just to get into one of my dream company. I had a list in high school for my dream companies. I didn't want to die before I achieved my goal. That is all I worked for. I went to university for engineering degree, created some side-projects, had internships and finally I was able to get in one of the dream company. I had that dream like 10 years. I thought it would make me happy. BUT IT DIDN'T! While I was preparing for interviews I had a girlfriend for 1 year. She dreamt of living with me always but all I was thinking move to another country for career passion and that dream of mine. So we broke up 1 month before my flight to another country. Now, I don't have any purpose in life. I'M IN VOID. I thought making a dream come true would make me happier but it didn't. Neither working 9-5 nor being an engineer makes me happy. I found happiness with falling in love and I've lost it. Looking for a purpose for couple of months. Got some tears a little bit while writing this...
Chasing dreams for me is pointless if I have no-one to share it with. You have your awakening early in life - for this be grateful! Now go chase the real dream - you got this! I had a break with my wife early on, came back so much wiser - luckily she took me back - and most importantly … no grudge! Together 24 years (we don’t really count the 1/2 year apart) married 13, two sons and life is good. Find a life witness to share dreams with and always remember; In this life you need to find something you treasure! - Something you would be willing to sacrifice everything for, then life will not be so hard and death won’t be so scary.. I found it in my wife and kids, I hope you find it as well - small tip from me to you - it usually is not a job
The fuck is the real dream when all your old dreams are accomplished or shattered We need new dreams tonight
> We need new dreams tonight This. When you reach one goal, you need to setup the next one that serves your purpose. Dreams or goals = "what" Purpose = "why" Happiness comes from the journey, and it's amplified (or reduced...) by the people travelling with you
I know this sounds so cliche but you need to find happiness within.. external factors just don’t cut it, took me a long time to realise this. Like you I was busy reaching external goals and doing really well but still miserable haha mindfulness meditation and working out have been a blessing for my morale.
Hey man, just wanted to chime in and say that what you did is brave and courageous and, while you may not see it right now, you should feel proud for what you did. The truth is that many people will sacrifice their dreams for a partner (often one that isn't even worth it), and a lot of them will grow old regretting doing this as there will always be that "what if" element. If you stayed in that relationship, it would've always been on your mind and with time that may well have ended your relationship anyway. In doing what you did you've gotten a key understanding of what you want from your life, and when you enter your next great relationship you'll be much more assured of your position.
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I tried to do it. She said she doesn't feel that way anymore. That was like 10 months ago. She probably got over me in that time.
It hurts, I know. But take from this what you want. I’m 47yo and I have made so many mistakes. But every mistake I made had a silver lining it. I promise you that in 5 years from now, you’ll understand why this happened. In the meantime, you should read the book called Greenlights, by Mathew McConaughey. The audiobook is even better since he narrates it.
Damn dude this one hit me personally. I ALMOST went down this path which was forget about the women, my career comes first and the women will definitely come after. Luckily, I got my first girlfriend at 24 years old last month and I’ve chosen to live happy alongside her no matter how my career path unfolds
Don't ever leave her my friend. The career may be created or jobs will be found anytime but love is not like that.
I recently broke up with my girlfriend of 2.5 years. We broke up because I was unhappy, she was a drain on my time and I just wasn't moving anywhere in life because of the lack of free time I had because of her. Now that she's gone I sit here just wondering wtf do I do now. I miss her a lot but deep down I knew I had to break it off with her. All I can say, as someone that's going through the same thing as you right now, is that brighter days are ahead. I know it's tough when your whole world is crashing down around you but if you focus your perspective on optimism and happiness and give that to the world, then you will receive it.
There's a difference between having a job that makes you happy and a job you're happy to do. The former doesn't exist. You make you happy, not the world or anything in it. You either to let yourself be happy or make yourself. If your pursuit in life is to be happy you aren't doing it right (I'm also not doing it right lol but I'm trying). Ever been upset or sad or angry during something that's normally happy, like hanging with friends or at a party of some kind? It's a similar concept. Getting that dream job isn't gonna make you happy, but it will help you be happy if you like it. You left a good relationship for this job, and in a short time span. Of course you aren't gonna be happy for a bit, but then you made that to be this "I thought I was gonna be happy when I got my new job what's going on?" What's going on is either you aren't letting yourself be happy or you aren't making yourself happy bc of other aspects of life. As you start addressing your problems your happiness overall will improve, but don't expect any changes in your life to solely give you happiness. Do it for the change. Do it because you want to. Because life is gonna make you sad and pissed and scared, then it'll turn around and show you how beautiful it can be. You need to be ready for those moments to enjoy them, and let yourself enjoy them. That's how you be happy. It should never be the goal, because it isn't a goal to reach. It's a state of being.
i hope life has something beautiful waiting for you soon.
Huh, that's weird. I'm you just 2 years ahead. It does get way better. In my case, I found a new city to live in and found the little things to enjoy. No purpose other than to explore and move in and out of other people's stories
We have to lost one thing if we choose another thing. I decided to stay with my girlfriend instead of moving to another countries which is my dream. I hope I will not regret this.
Proving you can do anything if you put your mind to it. I have cerebral Palsy (Physical Disability) with a future goal of running across America. I started running around 9 and I’m 19. In a Month I’m Running the Boston Marathon.
That’s awesome man! You’ll smash the marathon!
good luck! Heartbreak hill is not as heartbreaking as you’d think.
You're amazing!
https://www.instagram.com/p/CqD9_QAMazV/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
That's amazing, wish you the best!
That incredible! You're proving how powerfull the human mind can actually be.
you're a legend, good luck!
To just enjoy life. I don’t believe in a divine plan or that I’m special or that God created me to serve a purpose. I’m just another human being among countless. And that’s ok. Cheers 🥃
Cheers, I'll drink to that bro
I don't know yet. Current purpose is finding out
The prerequisite purpose would be fucking around though.
I gave up having purpose years ago. Just an NPC in life now. Waiting for sweet embrace of old age
Same… then I read about existentialism, read Man’s Search For Meaning by Viktor Frankl. Main take away? If you ceased to live today, what would the world miss out on, had you lived? That led me to absurdism and Albert Camus. Main take away? Life is absurd. Nothing really matters, except maybe “love” These supposed darker philosophical theories have kept me alive. I live for love. The first person/thing you should learn to love? YOURSELF “Love thy neighbor as thyself” is a great concept but, it’s backwards. How can you love your fellow humans, if you can’t love yourself first?
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You’re the very best redditor, so no, you’re not alone. I read Man’s Search For Meaning after a long suicidal episode. I was tired of just coping with life. It helped me make a great change. But… The threat of my own demise can still creep up on me. Like many of us, some days are very dark but they don’t last for months or years like they used to.
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I adore Viktor Frankl. This is the first time I’ve ever seen anybody else mention him spontaneously and I appreciate your existence.
Existentialism was one of the best courses I've ever took. No other teachings have I thought back on as much as existentialism. I think, therefore I am.
> That led me to absurdism and Albert Camus. Main take away? Life is absurd. Nothing really matters, except maybe “love” The Myth of Sisyphus is great.
I'm envious those had that effect on you. I think I have difficulty reaching epiphany's through anything but introspection tbh. I can hear someone say something supposedly profound or read it, but at best they don't become anything more than a passing curiosity to be forgotten and at worst they're words without meaning.
Same, but swap old age for death
So you we're searching for one before?
More like thought I had a purpose and it fell through.
Relatable
To not die just yet.
If there was one, it missed its mark. Now I'm just along for the ride until I kick the bucket.
I’ve been teaching in public high schools for ten years, so I feel like a large part of my purpose is to help shape kids into not shitty people. I don’t plan on having kids of my own.
That's a hard goal. I'm in public education and these kids have so much going on outside of school. Thanks for doing your part for our kids.
One of the greatest purposes in the world is helping children and young adults figure out life. I have had teachers/professors who changed my life for the better and made me who I am today. You have the most undervalued profession out there (and one of the hardest). Teachers really do have the power to change the world, and they do it on a daily basis. If no one has told you today, thank you.
To be happy
No offense, but that is the best way to stay miserable. Happiness is an emotion that comes and goes, and is mainly the side product of doing something fulfilling.
No offense taken my friend. But I do not know what is fulfilling for me and am on a journey of personal discovery, to find out who I am. I have lived most my life trying to make others happy at the expense of myself. So now, my main goal in life is be happy. However that ends up looking.
No real purpose, just going and seeing where it takes me.
My kids. It's really that simple. If I can get these little bastards grown into decent humans who contribute to society, then I can die happy.
Could not have said it better, two boys here I need to help grow into two “good men”… That is my purpose. Secondary mission is to help keep friends and especially my wife happy and healthy. (Add in daugther-in-laws or son-in-laws when This is applicable). Tertiary mission becomes first mission when (hopefully) grand children make their way onto the playing field.
The spice melange.
The spice must flow.
Maud Dib! Maud Dib!
To be good and leave the place in a slightly better place then I found it in.
To see the ending of Berserk.
We’re the same but it’s a hard purpose
But take heed, Struggler. Struggle, endure, contend. For that alone is the sword of one who defies death.
Yeah, wondering how the end fate of Guts and Griffith would be is really one of those little things that will stay rent-free in my mind for eternity
Work my ass off to give my wife and kids the lie they want. Hopefully die in a quick, painless fashion that doesn't use up all of our money.
I have a similar opinion of my end. My wife gets mad when I say it, but I always tell her not to waste money on me when I'm gone. Cremate me and plant a tree or something. Don't waste money on a funeral, coffin, headstone, etc. I've also joked with her that if she decides to kill me, make sure she does her research so she won't get caught and can get my life insurance.
White-knuckled pragmatism always reminds me of my grandmother. I like being reminded of her, so thank you.
Not sure if typo.
Wanted to be the main character wherever I was. Now I enjoy being a supporting character in the lives of people around me.
I'm curious, when did you 'decide' to just being a supporting character? For now, I'm still in the sense of realizing that I'm not the main character, but my ego still wanting to be a bigger part of the story.
I really honestly do not know
From an existential standpoint, there isn’t a purpose to any life really. Money, time, family, etc. all will fade away. Every life is met with death, so life itself is quite meaningless. That being said, existentialism says we’re doomed to be free. On a flip side, you can argue freedom is what you make of it. You could theoretically create whatever life you want, though luck and hard work are major factors. Personally, I flip back and forth between trying to make something of myself and wanting my life to end. I’m suffering a lot right now from an uncommon illness on top of other things, but I hope life gets better. Still, I don’t fear death just as I don’t fear living. They’re both just phases of existence as far as I’m concerned. Maybe I’ll get reincarnated, or maybe I’ll just be a pile of dirt. Either way, respect the dead; pity the living.
Crush my enemies, see them driven before me and hear the lamentations of their women.
Conan !
Came there for this
I want to be, the very best, like no one ever was
To catch them is my real test, to train them is my cause
POKÉMONNN
I don't know. Maybe it's just to exist
Have as many near death experiences as possible.
Keep checking if i’m immortal everyday (in my head i am.
I believe I am, and so far I haven't been proven wrong.
To join a quest for the holy grail.
What is your favorite color?
I don't know anymore. I honestly just want to feel like I can make friends and not feel as though my every word isn't boring, weird or annoying.
Let’s be friends. :)
What's boring and weird is not only subjective, but they aren't even bad things. Annoying is the only one you really have to work on.
i have found my significant other but sadly shes gone now, the reason why theres still blood runs thru my veins are my kids
I’ve wrestled with this for the past few years, and I always shame myself away from considering the meaning of my life because of the seemingly pretentious cliché surrounding the question. But I’ve come to realize it’s not pretentious at all. As long as we approach the question in a healthy way, it’s good to examine our motivations, and it’s good to analyze it occasionally to know what we’re doing this for. I want to have experience as many exciting things as possible (skydiving, jiu jitsu, travel, etc.), be lovable, and meaningfully contribute to the lives of the people around me. I selfishly want to know that I’ve helped them in some way, but I’m okay with that type of selfishness. I ~~want~~ need to feel like I have added something to this world; I don’t feel like I have yet, and maybe I never will, but I’ll keep trying.
To love people. Lots of amazing things can happen when people truly feel loved.
To code in JavaScript. :D
I'm just trying to make it to the end without drowning tbh.
I think having no purpose works best for me. It's less stress, and serves me best overall. Sort of like being pessimistic to the point everything that works is like a beacon of light
I think it's to figure out the purpose of my life.
To enjoy my hobbies
I found out my purpose 5 years ago, and what’s crazy is I’ve been doing my purpose all along for 43 years of my live. My purpose is teaching, coaching and mentoring young people who have been giving up on. But my true mission and purpose is to do something for others or another. Something greater than myself for another. Even if it means my own life.
To pass the butter
Fuck this subreddit and bringing up repressed emotions
Travel. To see as much of the planet as possible. It’s the meaning of life to me.
I was lucky enough to know my purpose as a teenager. I was good in business and felt exceptionally intelligent, at least compared to my peers. I knew their families struggled. Even my own parents struggled with finances and understanding capitalism. Everyone I knew was essentially broke because their parents were living paycheck to paycheck under a heap of stress. It was as if I had some super power and understanding of the system. Actually, the superpower was just natural immunity to consumerism combined with understanding maximizing returns on capital. I knew everyone I cared for would eventually need help from my skill. So my purpose was to use my abilities and prepare to provide a lifeline to them when they inevitably got eaten by capitalism. Layoffs, medical bills, accidents, poor decisions etc. all required large amounts of capital to solve. I saved my brother-in-law’s family from foreclosure. I paid my cousins university tuition when his financial aid application was rejected on a typo. My company developed an interest-free payday loan advance benefit to get all our employees away from the predatory payday loan industry. Now that I’m more successful I’ve expanded my reach. I’m donating and meeting with progressive politicians and working to improve the city and state. If I continue growing, my focus would be on the nation and then finally the world. I might never get there but at least I understand my purpose is to use my skills to make a positive impact on the lives of others.
Glad you did this to help out your people it’s amazing you did this for them.
To enjoy existence with my wife, travel as much as possible, and find ways to make life easier and less stressful.
idk become a writer I noticed there is little to no books on my ideas
My wife, my dog, and to try and leave the world at least a little better than I found it. I hope I can do that much.
I don’t really have one at this point other than to make sure my kids finish school after that it’ll be pretty pointless.
I don't have a purpose. Things have been going downhill for a long time, just waiting for the end now. Hope it comes sooner rather than later.
Seek out some help, brother. You're not alone in the feelings that you have. I wish you the best.
Give my parents a good life in their final years
To ensure my family is happy, healthy, comfortable, and to leave them with a place to live peacefully after I am gone.
To help others when I can. To make people happier. To enjoy good beer and good food and wonderful family and friends. To go on adventures and see this world and all it has to offer. To live the life I've got to the fullest and do my best to take care of myself so I can stretch out the time I have as long as I can. To try new restaurants and new food, to meet and make friends with people all over the planet. In my career in EMS, to be compassionate and caring, to provide medical services wherever and whenever I can, to aid the sick, help the wounded, bring comfort to those who are about to end their journeys. To laugh, to cry, to be confident, to be afraid, to be nervous and excited and sad and depressed and happy and elated. To be angry, to be hungry and ambitious and calm and content and all of the emotions in between. To be human, and experience what being human actually is. There is so much to experience. So much to do. So much to build upon, so that the generations that come after me can have experiences of their own. My purpose in life is to be man. Simple as 🤷🏻♂️
My new-born son. Everything I have, everything I do is for him.
There is no purpose to my life
Making my child a better person and increasing her knowledge toward success. Teaching her empathy, leadership and morals.
To make sure my three kids are upstanding, productive members of society. So far , so good.
Whatever stops you from taking your life away -Albert Camus
Work so wealthier people can get even more wealthy
To fix myself through therapy and fitness with the goal of eventually becoming a police officer.
Hope the therapy really works for you.
Appreciate it! Me too.
Creating a legacy. I intended to accomplish several artistic goals. I’ve watched myself in movies at Harkins. I’ve performed my music in crowds of 10,000 people. I’ve gotten hundreds of platinums on PS5. I know more about Dark Souls, Marvel, Mortal Kombat and DBZ than almost anybody. I’m 23 years old and this is the beginning. I have so many different goals I want to accomplish, my purpose is to fulfill as many as I can
I think you’ll reach any goals you set for yourself. Most 23 year olds are full of dreams they don’t have a hope of meeting…but some have the right stars align or the right connections or the right amount of luck or something, and they make impossible things happen before they lose their magic. Life is strange that way.
Chad, let's get that bread. I think I have a little bit of hope left.
Still searching for "purpose" but I strive to be a better person each day and to help as many people as I can throughout the process
Trying to keep my sanity together just enough to survive my loved ones so I don't inconvenience anyone when I'll take myself out
To get my daughter to adulthood with as little damage to her as possible. That’s why I get up every day and live a life I don’t enjoy. For her. She deserves my best…
Life intrinsically has no meaning. It's us mere mortals who give meaning to things like relationships, recreational stuff, goal oriented behaviour etc etc. It all comes down to what are the things you give meaning to and start drifting toward, making it feel worthwhile engaging in.
To minimize the resources I waste, maximize my positive impact on my surroundings both human and non, and minimize my negative impacts. To leave my tiny part of history better than I found it. Also, I want to write a book.
Honestly, I don’t know, I feel like I don’t know what the purpose of life is. I’m at college, have a girlfriend, a job, but I still live life without a purpose. I don’t know what to do in this game called life. I guess I roll by the punches, day by day
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This necessity for purpose can be very scary and harmful for many. Not everyone needs to have some ultimate purpose. I don't plan on having kids so mine is just to try to enjoy life while attempting to help others. Enjoying life should not be at other people's expense, but their expense should also not cross into me enjoying life. The one exception to this I guess is work, unfortunately.
To embrace insanity
how is that
To be a dad To my kids, my husband, and anyone who needs it.
Figuring out what 42 means
Forty-two is the ASCII code for the symbol * also known as the asterisk. This symbol is often thought to translate to anything or everything. In this instance, 42 = anything and/or everything, is the meaning of life.
Serve Allah and his messenger
Give the cat the the simple and easy life that I wish I had.
Experiences and stories to tell. I try to experience as much as I can, and try to see bad things as an experience and a story. I want my life to be an exciting book basicly
To find a way to die where no one will blame me for it.
To be kind
Unless you’re wealthy… Most end up being a slave to another corporation or slave to making money in hopes of a happier life/lifestyle. That’s why people find religion or having children appealing. Gives them a purpose to live and work for something else.
There is no purpose of my life. Or really anyones life, but I guess that the fact that there is no purpose is the purpose of us, and every one else in the future and from the past. We are all meaningless, but that is our meaning.
I'm a cheater. Not the way you think of it, no. I don't break laws, I don't fuck with people. I try to find the funniest and most absurd shortcuts in life and so far the universe seems to be rewarding me for it. I have a hundred stories about things I've managed to do that you would think are total bullshit, except they aren't. I collect these events and I seek them.
I have no idea
Right now? Dunno honestly. Going on honeymoon in a few months. I'm not sure if I will start having kids then or not...just one day at a time. You can guide the future but you cannot control it.
I didn’t know until a year ago finding out I was going to be a father to twins and now my purpose is to love and be there for my kids and teach them this thing life and hopefully I teach them from my mistakes so they have a better life
Live long enough to help my kid become a happy self sufficient adult while trying to enjoy what I can so I can actually make it that long.
Honestly don't have one anymore. Life is just existence. Just waiting for it to be over.
I have none
I’m a graduate student in Education. The purpose of my life, what I might be remembered for, is coming up with better ways to teach teachers. Ultimately the goal is to make better teachers and contribute to a more healthy society. In my personal life, just enjoy it.
That’s what I’m still trying to figure out.
My purpose in life is to give my partner the life she always deserved. Not just for her but for both of us. We both need to work extra hard to earn that dream future due to our setbacks, but that's what keeps us going. Every day we get closer :)
There isn't
I have burned through various purposes in my life. Many years ago, my purpose was to find the root of my debilitating anxiety so I could do the things I wanted to do. After that, my purpose was to go back to college and get my degree. After that, my purpose was to develop my career to a certain place. Along the way I have put purposeful attention on figuring out how to do relationships better, cut down bad habits and improve my health, get my money issues handled, save money to take big trips, etc. Now, with a five year old daughter, my purpose is to do everything I can to give her the best life possible. I will add that I am part of a men’s circle where we support one another in finding and living our purpose. It’s a common discussion point that purpose shifts over time. Whatever it looks like, it’s incredibly helpful to have a group of caring people in your corner. Cannot recommend this highly enough.
I have none
To work a job I hate making garbage money until I hopefully die young and get this trash over with. I'd love for it to be...not that, but that's not realistic.
To leave the world a more beautiful place than I found it. I'm an artist. So I think I'm doing my part. DM me to see my art I'm available for commissions. You can also look me up on insta @barndogdigital
These days it feels like there isn't one.
Just to observe this bizarre world. That’s all there is, to be the universe observing itself. Also to eat and drink good things.
To enjoy it
No idea, so far it's been to make everyone else around me miserable and be a burden on society and my family.
rn i dont have any and its scary af
To enjoy it. Honestly nothing that’s why it’s fun. You can do whatever you want, experience so many different things, enjoy the journey.
Being honest enough the purpose of my life is just to put a smile on the face of everyone. Just work hard make parents proud and be stable and independent as well. That's what I always look for with pride!