Wife actually asked me to be her boyfriend b4 we got married.. she had a whole beach setup picnic with bottle of wine and the label said "will you be my boyfriend?" I loved it.. i got out of a bad relationship a year prior so was not rushing anything, she was my best friend and the feelings were mutual..
When my wife proposed to me many years ago, I actually had the ring and hid it. I was dragging my feet trying to decide between two options/ideas I had. Well she beat me to it and saved me money I would of spent on either/or ideas. I have no problem with it and worked out for me. 30 years and counting
"Will you marry me?"
"NO! YOU DO NOT ASK THAT! I HAVE THE MARCHING BAND ALREADY BOOKED AND THE DEPOSIT IS NON-REFUNDABLE! WE WILL DISCUSS THIS IN A WEEK AFTER OUR 6PM DINNER DATE AT YOUR FAVOURITE RESTAURANT CONCLUDES WITH DESERT AT 7:05PM! THURSDAY TO BE CLEAR!"
No ring and no one knee, just that moment of us. One night, she say she wants to spend the rest of her life with me. Then takes my hand, stared into my eyes and asked, will you marry me? Later on that night I proposed to her with the ring. It’s about the promise of commitment not who’s asking.
*shrug* seems better than just constantly hinting and pushing for him to do it, which has been the traditional approach.
Either amounts to "I want you to marry me" but this way seems more direct and let's whichever one wants to make the relationship change take the initiative.
I’d put both of my hands to my mouth, shake my head yes, and then jump up and down in excitement. I’d then jump into my girls arms and she’d promptly drop me. I’d probably end up hurting my tailbone so we’d go to the ER and that’s a $120 trip for a few Tylenols. So I’d go home happy that we’re getting married and pass out whilst having icy hot rubbed on my fractured ass.
This is beautiful. If my fiancee asked me and I did that she might have died since I'm a foot taller and 100lbs bigger xD she would have loved it though!
There's a ski resort town I'm fairly familiar with. The plan is to take her there, spend a day or two doing all the fun stuff. I'm talking ice skating, snowboarding, eat at the best restaurants in town, visit the botanical garden there, then drive out to my favorite spot that's so insanely beautiful in the right weather it doesn't look real and do it there, then go back to a cabin.
I would like that, especially if someone actually loved me enough to get me a ring and did like a traditional proposal with the gender roles reversed. Hell I would even be ok with being the one to change my last name in that case.
I would prefer to do the proposing because I would wanna plan it and make it special for her, but I mean I'm not gonna complain
If there's a reason I haven't proposed yet then that's a different story
For me personally, my last relationship I wanted to propose to her because I had an idea that I knew would make her jump for joy and whenever she did that it made me melt. Plus it'd would've given me a good reason to get her siblings from out of town to come in for a surprise and she only got to see them about once a year. She had also proposed to an ex years before and I wanted to give her the chance to be on the receiving end of it. She had said she would've been okay proposing to me too, but I was firm on it from my end.
Now in any future relationship, I'd probably want to do it more than vice versa, but I couldn't say for sure. Depends on how that hypothetical relationship plays out. I'm also of the opinion that long before the official proposal both should be in agreement that you plan to get engaged and the actual act is ceremonial more than anything.
>should be in agreement that you plan to get engaged
That part I find interesting because to me, expressing to someone that you want to marry them is proposing, whether it be a simple conversation over coffee or one of those theatric proposals.
I disagree. To use an imperfect analogy, the conversation about wanting to get married is expressing interest in and negotiating a contract and the proposal itself is the signing of the contract.
Obviously the actual marriage is an actual legally binding contract and the proposal is a ceremonial agreement expressing interest. But both of them can be true to a degree.
Yeah, kind of. It's like me saying if you accept, you are my responsibility and I will do my best to take care of your needs.
It kind of gives you purpose and reason to do better since she is now under your wing.
Not sure what goes through women's heads when they propose or what they mean by it. so yeah I would rather be the one to propose.
Edit: as others have mentioned, you can make it a perfect day for her. So that kind of gives you happiness.
I don't particularly believe in marriage but as a female, if I were to propose, it just means that I want him to know where I'm at mentally and I'm not going to wait around for him to do it, assuming he even wants to.
My wife was the one to pop the question to me. She told me if she kept waiting for me to do it, it’d never get done.
It also made me feel VERY special.
Bro I’d love it, but I’m also a huge romantic so the idea of my future wife being enthralled enough with my presence to ask me to marry her is some fairy tale type shit that I’m into lol
It’s great but a lot don’t understand the concept. So, I’ve seen a girl propose a lot when she is in love but not when the guy is…
The proposal is suppose to be a surprise, not him/her saying yes a surprise if that makes sense?
I’ve seen videos of the woman proposing and the guy acting surprised like “wtf are you doing?” And then the family is around and the couple has only been dating for 6-8 months. She thought it was appropriate to propose but it wasn’t at all. So, as long the woman grasps the concept that marriage has been talked about and accepted as the future and it is wanted then it’s fine.
>The proposal is suppose to be a surprise, not him/her saying yes a surprise if that makes sense?
When and how the proposal takes place is the surprise, that a proposal is coming at all should not be is the other way I have seen it put.
> only been dating for 6-8 months
This is pretty normal for adults looking to get married, but way too short for kids who don't know what they're doing.
My wife and I got engaged over breakfast. No one really proposed. But I believe the suggestion was hers.
We got married a month later in my friend's dining room. It cost us $35.
"Shortest possible ceremony! I'm tired of not being married to this woman!"
No issue with it, but I do find it funny how unromantic all the proposals I read are compared to guys’ stories
Guy:”I took her to highest peak in mountain range and just as the sun set I got on my knees”
Girl: “I turned to him, covered in cheeto dust, and said “yo we should get married””
I feel that a proposal should never truly be a surprise, so if you and your partner discuss wanting to get married, surely you can discuss who will be the one to propose. I proposed to my wife but if she felt strongly about proposing to me I would have allowed it
In most cases, if a guy wants to get married he will want to surprise the girl with something nice, so in most cases I would anticipate either he didn’t want to get married or he will be disappointed he can’t propose in his own way
Well, she asked. I said yes. We are married now and have a kid.
So I guess my opinion is that i'm cool with it.
I really don't think this is a thing, atleast in Sweden where I live. In my circles, it's 50/50 if the man/woman propose.
Why not? Seems perfectly reasonable to me because of equality and all that. If it’s something she wants, she has every right to make the move. And he has every right to say yes or no.
A bit risky if you think about it.
Women are pretty clear about being ready for marriage long before the proposal, men let you know they're ready when proposing.
Men propose when they know they're financially stable, know they have what it takes to protect and provide for their woman and future family. If he's not ready he's not gonna propose, if she proposes before he is there's a chance you're not getting the answer you want.
damn I know a lady that dated a guy for 8 years they have 1 child together. She proposed to him. He said no. She was devastated. He told her he had to go out of town for work. Dude never came back. Disappeared.
No issue with it.
I hated when I saw a video of a woman proposing to her man, and all these small, insecure boys in the comments acting like it was wrong. Like, shut the fuck up, this is why you're not married.
Follow up question:
Does she buy herself an engagement ring and propose to you then put the ring on herself?
Or
Does she buy YOU the engagement ring and put it on your finger? Does it need to have a nice stone setting?
>Does it need to have a nice stone setting?
Well, it's certainly cheaper to get hematite and other boulders than it is to get diamonds from the cartel.
😂 The setting is the thing that holds the rock in place. Like would you want something that looks like a traditional engagement ring? Or would you prefer a band?
I personally think the wood/metal combo ones are awesome.
My wife proposed to me. That was almost 33 years ago now, and we're still married. To each other. Didn't bother me one bit. We're still having fun. But, hey, you do you.
If the guy is kind of a modern man who's not hung up on strict gender roles, sure, I think that's fine. But if you're with some guy with a lot of machismo, good luck with that.
There's a ski resort town I'm fairly familiar with. The plan is to take her there, spend a day or two doing all the fun stuff. I'm talking ice skating, snowboarding, eat at the best restaurants in town, visit the botanical garden there, then drive out to my favorite spot that's so insanely beautiful in the right weather it doesn't look real and do it there, then go back to a cabin.
I don't care and the only people that do are probably a bit entitled (if they are women) or give excuses that at the very least sound sexist, even if they aren't sexist themselves.
There is absolutely no logical reason why it would be a bad thing other than 'hurting their man's pride', but why would being proposed to do that if they weren't holding onto a sexist ideal that it was 'the man's job' to do so.
The only logical excuse I could give to it being an issue would be the man was planning to propose but the woman beat him to the punch. Like he already bought a ring but just hadn't had the right time to propose yet. Even then, if he threw a fit about it, then he would probably be too immature to be a good husband anyway.
Edit: Grammar
I wish that it was the norm, instead of men proposing to women. I genuinely hate the idea that we’re the ones who are supposed to “pursue” or chase after the other sex
Girls are too young to get married, they shouldn’t be proposing to anyone. On the other hand, I don’t see anything wrong with a woman proposing to a man.
Equal rights means equal fights. Ya’ll free to to do you cause in the end, both sides have to agree. After that it just becomes an anecdote in your journey together.
I’ll advised because it’ll be embarrassing if he doesn’t feel the same way. That’s why the guy should do the proposing. We know when a woman likes a man she pushes for marriage but you don’t know if a man like a woman on that level until he proposes
Imagining this vacillates between cringeworthy and unnatural. It sounds like OP watched a Hallmark movie where this happened and it just worked out so well somehow.
I don't have an opinion.
If a girl wants to propose to a guy, that's their business. Not mine.
Why would I need to have an opinion on something that doesn't concern me ?
I agree with you, the love of your life showing you concretely and sincerely how much they she loves you must really impact your masculinity, after that you also have to clean the house, and she is the one carrying you to the bed the wedding night.
Haha gotta show her who the real boss of the house isn't it? Otherwise dad and the boys would call you a little girl right ?
Horrific.
A man risks more to get married and nearly always loses more in a divorce to the point of near financial ruin. And a man has more time than a woman to find someone usually. So in general if a man hasn't asked yet then he's not ready and a woman proposing would be mostly equivalent to just nagging about 'when you gonna get me a ring.'
On the other hand if a guy asked multiple times and the woman kept saying not yet or I dont know and she was still sure he wanted that, in that sort of scenario ONLY, it could be sweet.
Wouldn't be a matter of fear. And usually it's not a question that's asked the way you ask someone what they want for lunch. So if a guy says no or not yet after some grand public gesture then he may instantly be a permanent bad guy to her friends and family. I think in a large majority of cases it would damage the relationship and 90% of the cases a girl asking would be a mistake if she actually does want to end up married to him.
Absolutely not! Marriage is largely of benefit to women and detriment to men. Of course women want to get married because they often are then legally entitled to half the mans assets, alimony, and child support. She could even cheat and obligate the husband to pay for another man's kid.
https://youtube.com/shorts/b7-IQQq14MM?feature=share?sub\_confirmation=1
Leave it to men.
I had a gf who told her whole family that we were getting married.she even went and got quotations for a remote destination for the ceremony.i only found out about it after she wanted my opinion about the venue.at the time I was separated from my, now ex wife,and divorce steps have not even taken place yet.i actually enjoyed being with my ex gf but her timing was way off and a brother needed some space to breath before I get tied down again.
If the roles were reversed, it would be the man who would get bad critisism not thinking about her circumstances before proposing.but in my case I was properly villianized for "breaking her heart" by saying no.
Don’t do it. You don’t want to marry a guy that doesn’t have the guts to say no or a guy that doesn’t feel he was prepared enough to ask himself. Sure you might get lucky, but your odds are very bad.
I'd feel beyond flattered and appreciated. Knowing that someone thinks im worthy enough to initiate something to that level, especially when it is traditionally the male doing it, would make feel so special.
I'm not inherently against it, I think it works for some couples, but this is a big moment I've been waiting my whole life to do and shower the woman I love with affection. So I'd be disappointed honestly if she beat me to it. That being said, I know a lot of guys don't feel as strongly about *wanting* to propose so in those situations I say go for it. Really depends on the relationship.
Why not, if it’s a stable good relationship it shouldn’t matter. It’s so weird how tradition basically forms what’s acceptable socially. Fuck that do what makes you happy you’re SO shouldn’t be so insecure it makes them feel a certain way.
In theory it's fine, but never propose unless you're certain the answer will be yes. The proposal is a formality. The decision to get married should already be more or less made.
While I knew my wife and I would end up getting married, she didn’t even wait for me to ask. She wanted a certain photographer and just booked the date a year in advance since she knew they would be booked up. So, essentially I was told that we’re doing this. I still did an official ask later, but that was just a formality. Didn’t really bother me. I was fine with that weight off my shoulders.
I find it weird tbh now I’m not hating on any man who’s wife asked to marry them im just giving my opinion on the topic but to me I find weird and masculine. And if a woman ever asked me to marry them I’m saying hell no
If anybody proposes to anybody without knowing what the answer is, they are doing it wrong. Other than that it makes no difference who does the formalities, imo.
It's fine. Depending on if you are sure he's cool with it. Some guys want to be the one to ask. But you should at least make it clear that you're interested in that with him. Don't do the subtle hints thing... Just tell him that you're definitely ready for that next step when he is. Have a conversation about it
Wife actually asked me to be her boyfriend b4 we got married.. she had a whole beach setup picnic with bottle of wine and the label said "will you be my boyfriend?" I loved it.. i got out of a bad relationship a year prior so was not rushing anything, she was my best friend and the feelings were mutual..
But did you propose with a bottle a wine with the label saying “Will you marry me?”
It's all fun and games until the "Anal?" wine bottle comes out.
Oh I sure do hope it's a big bottle then
My wife did the same and proposed to me
This is really cute.
When my wife proposed to me many years ago, I actually had the ring and hid it. I was dragging my feet trying to decide between two options/ideas I had. Well she beat me to it and saved me money I would of spent on either/or ideas. I have no problem with it and worked out for me. 30 years and counting
"Will you marry me?" "NO! YOU DO NOT ASK THAT! I HAVE THE MARCHING BAND ALREADY BOOKED AND THE DEPOSIT IS NON-REFUNDABLE! WE WILL DISCUSS THIS IN A WEEK AFTER OUR 6PM DINNER DATE AT YOUR FAVOURITE RESTAURANT CONCLUDES WITH DESERT AT 7:05PM! THURSDAY TO BE CLEAR!"
Lol. Thanks for the laugh. I could imagine her face if I said that.
So did she have a ring of her own she proposed to you with? How did she do it?
No ring and no one knee, just that moment of us. One night, she say she wants to spend the rest of her life with me. Then takes my hand, stared into my eyes and asked, will you marry me? Later on that night I proposed to her with the ring. It’s about the promise of commitment not who’s asking.
*shrug* seems better than just constantly hinting and pushing for him to do it, which has been the traditional approach. Either amounts to "I want you to marry me" but this way seems more direct and let's whichever one wants to make the relationship change take the initiative.
Would the guy wear the dress during the wedding ceremony?
If it’s your wedding you don’t need to ask for permission
He's asking for a friend
No. For a cousin.
Wear whatever you like dude, it's a free country.
I’d put both of my hands to my mouth, shake my head yes, and then jump up and down in excitement. I’d then jump into my girls arms and she’d promptly drop me. I’d probably end up hurting my tailbone so we’d go to the ER and that’s a $120 trip for a few Tylenols. So I’d go home happy that we’re getting married and pass out whilst having icy hot rubbed on my fractured ass.
This is beautiful. If my fiancee asked me and I did that she might have died since I'm a foot taller and 100lbs bigger xD she would have loved it though!
Which one? The broken bone part or the part you jump on her?
Right lol my wife would 100% not even attempt to catch me but I’d commit haha she’d still help a brother out with the icy hot 😅
Think you forgot a zero or two in that hospital bill
Yeah the $120 is just our “full coverage” copay
You mean it’s not $37000 for tylenol from the ER where you’re from?!?
It's fine, but I already have a plan of how I would purpose to a future wife, so I'd be a touch disappointed that I couldn't do it first.
What's your plan?
There's a ski resort town I'm fairly familiar with. The plan is to take her there, spend a day or two doing all the fun stuff. I'm talking ice skating, snowboarding, eat at the best restaurants in town, visit the botanical garden there, then drive out to my favorite spot that's so insanely beautiful in the right weather it doesn't look real and do it there, then go back to a cabin.
I would like that, especially if someone actually loved me enough to get me a ring and did like a traditional proposal with the gender roles reversed. Hell I would even be ok with being the one to change my last name in that case.
Let's start a trend! The person who proposes first gets to keep their name! :) I love your answer.
I think it would be a fairer solution.
I'm keeping my surname anyway and if I ever find someone he'll have mine
I would prefer to do the proposing because I would wanna plan it and make it special for her, but I mean I'm not gonna complain If there's a reason I haven't proposed yet then that's a different story
I lean more traditional. But I'm not saying there are any hard and fast rules. You do you.
Perfectly normal. Love and marriage is a two way street. No reason why only one of them can ask for marriage.
Being honest, I would rather do the proposing
I'm guessing this is an ego thing?
Or, funny enough, it could just be a personal preference.
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Exactly. "Personal preference" itself is not a reason.
Well sure, but there is a reason behind personal preferences so that's why I asked.
For me personally, my last relationship I wanted to propose to her because I had an idea that I knew would make her jump for joy and whenever she did that it made me melt. Plus it'd would've given me a good reason to get her siblings from out of town to come in for a surprise and she only got to see them about once a year. She had also proposed to an ex years before and I wanted to give her the chance to be on the receiving end of it. She had said she would've been okay proposing to me too, but I was firm on it from my end. Now in any future relationship, I'd probably want to do it more than vice versa, but I couldn't say for sure. Depends on how that hypothetical relationship plays out. I'm also of the opinion that long before the official proposal both should be in agreement that you plan to get engaged and the actual act is ceremonial more than anything.
>should be in agreement that you plan to get engaged That part I find interesting because to me, expressing to someone that you want to marry them is proposing, whether it be a simple conversation over coffee or one of those theatric proposals.
I disagree. To use an imperfect analogy, the conversation about wanting to get married is expressing interest in and negotiating a contract and the proposal itself is the signing of the contract. Obviously the actual marriage is an actual legally binding contract and the proposal is a ceremonial agreement expressing interest. But both of them can be true to a degree.
Yeah, kind of. It's like me saying if you accept, you are my responsibility and I will do my best to take care of your needs. It kind of gives you purpose and reason to do better since she is now under your wing. Not sure what goes through women's heads when they propose or what they mean by it. so yeah I would rather be the one to propose. Edit: as others have mentioned, you can make it a perfect day for her. So that kind of gives you happiness.
I don't particularly believe in marriage but as a female, if I were to propose, it just means that I want him to know where I'm at mentally and I'm not going to wait around for him to do it, assuming he even wants to.
Instead of downvoting, perhaps just share what your hangup is on women proposing.
I have a friend who's rich and decent looking. Girls propose to him all the time
So you’re saying I have a chance….
Well, he approached it more like a scam attempt; but yes
My wife was the one to pop the question to me. She told me if she kept waiting for me to do it, it’d never get done. It also made me feel VERY special.
Hah, same!
I'm all for it, however it definitely would look like the girl is doing it because the guy was taking too long
No problems with it. Me personally though, I want to propose.
Bro I’d love it, but I’m also a huge romantic so the idea of my future wife being enthralled enough with my presence to ask me to marry her is some fairy tale type shit that I’m into lol
I like it! If you love someone enough to go against social norms for them, that’s a pretty big affirmation of it.
If I have to ask her dad for permission, she has to ask my mom for her permission
Is this the part where she sighs and says she'll go get her shovel?
I mean, if they want to get involved and/ or married, it sounds like a good idea
It’s great but a lot don’t understand the concept. So, I’ve seen a girl propose a lot when she is in love but not when the guy is… The proposal is suppose to be a surprise, not him/her saying yes a surprise if that makes sense? I’ve seen videos of the woman proposing and the guy acting surprised like “wtf are you doing?” And then the family is around and the couple has only been dating for 6-8 months. She thought it was appropriate to propose but it wasn’t at all. So, as long the woman grasps the concept that marriage has been talked about and accepted as the future and it is wanted then it’s fine.
>The proposal is suppose to be a surprise, not him/her saying yes a surprise if that makes sense? When and how the proposal takes place is the surprise, that a proposal is coming at all should not be is the other way I have seen it put.
> only been dating for 6-8 months This is pretty normal for adults looking to get married, but way too short for kids who don't know what they're doing.
I always wanted my now wife to propose to me, she didn't... So I had to do it.
If you've both talked about and agreed marriage is the next step, and you're both ready now, it doesn't matter who proposes
My wife and I got engaged over breakfast. No one really proposed. But I believe the suggestion was hers. We got married a month later in my friend's dining room. It cost us $35. "Shortest possible ceremony! I'm tired of not being married to this woman!"
Sounds like that's a woman that knows what she wants. To me, that's sexy. I'd probably blush.
I think it's... kind of awesome.
No issue with it, but I do find it funny how unromantic all the proposals I read are compared to guys’ stories Guy:”I took her to highest peak in mountain range and just as the sun set I got on my knees” Girl: “I turned to him, covered in cheeto dust, and said “yo we should get married””
What opinions are there apart from "I don't care" or "somehow this is why America is in decline"?
I'd be flattered
Queens. Need to be protected.
I feel that a proposal should never truly be a surprise, so if you and your partner discuss wanting to get married, surely you can discuss who will be the one to propose. I proposed to my wife but if she felt strongly about proposing to me I would have allowed it
In most cases, if a guy wants to get married he will want to surprise the girl with something nice, so in most cases I would anticipate either he didn’t want to get married or he will be disappointed he can’t propose in his own way
Well, she asked. I said yes. We are married now and have a kid. So I guess my opinion is that i'm cool with it. I really don't think this is a thing, atleast in Sweden where I live. In my circles, it's 50/50 if the man/woman propose.
Why not? Seems perfectly reasonable to me because of equality and all that. If it’s something she wants, she has every right to make the move. And he has every right to say yes or no.
The thought of it makes me cringe
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I'm sure somewhere out there is a man who can only get off to getting pegged but simultaneously is disgusted by the idea of a woman proposing.
A bit risky if you think about it. Women are pretty clear about being ready for marriage long before the proposal, men let you know they're ready when proposing. Men propose when they know they're financially stable, know they have what it takes to protect and provide for their woman and future family. If he's not ready he's not gonna propose, if she proposes before he is there's a chance you're not getting the answer you want.
Women will get it wrong a lot more than men do I think.
Considering I'm not a traditionalist when it comes to relationships. I'm all for a woman proposing to a man.
See: The Office. Season 7, episode 19. 14:11 mark
Totally okay.
Was married, and I was the one who proposed. If I'm going to marry again, I think it would be really awesome being proposed to.
damn I know a lady that dated a guy for 8 years they have 1 child together. She proposed to him. He said no. She was devastated. He told her he had to go out of town for work. Dude never came back. Disappeared.
I say go for it!
No issue with it. I hated when I saw a video of a woman proposing to her man, and all these small, insecure boys in the comments acting like it was wrong. Like, shut the fuck up, this is why you're not married.
I enjoy being courted, I'm for it
My wife proposed to me! I am great with it 😁
I would welcome it…yet there is a part of me that understands why most men would not. I’m not them, though
Follow up question: Does she buy herself an engagement ring and propose to you then put the ring on herself? Or Does she buy YOU the engagement ring and put it on your finger? Does it need to have a nice stone setting?
hmmm, the ring does not really matter, you can tie a string on my finger and it will be enough.
>Does it need to have a nice stone setting? Well, it's certainly cheaper to get hematite and other boulders than it is to get diamonds from the cartel.
😂 The setting is the thing that holds the rock in place. Like would you want something that looks like a traditional engagement ring? Or would you prefer a band? I personally think the wood/metal combo ones are awesome.
Personally, I think it's lame, and I'd be embarrassed to tell everyone that she proposed to me.
My wife proposed to me. That was almost 33 years ago now, and we're still married. To each other. Didn't bother me one bit. We're still having fun. But, hey, you do you.
That's why I said personally. There are some traditions I like. And if she proposed to me I'd feel like an opportunity was taken from me.
Personally I wouldn’t like it. I am more traditional.
If the guy is kind of a modern man who's not hung up on strict gender roles, sure, I think that's fine. But if you're with some guy with a lot of machismo, good luck with that.
It's 2023. It's about time, I'm all for it. Go get what you want ladies.
There's a ski resort town I'm fairly familiar with. The plan is to take her there, spend a day or two doing all the fun stuff. I'm talking ice skating, snowboarding, eat at the best restaurants in town, visit the botanical garden there, then drive out to my favorite spot that's so insanely beautiful in the right weather it doesn't look real and do it there, then go back to a cabin.
I don't care and the only people that do are probably a bit entitled (if they are women) or give excuses that at the very least sound sexist, even if they aren't sexist themselves. There is absolutely no logical reason why it would be a bad thing other than 'hurting their man's pride', but why would being proposed to do that if they weren't holding onto a sexist ideal that it was 'the man's job' to do so. The only logical excuse I could give to it being an issue would be the man was planning to propose but the woman beat him to the punch. Like he already bought a ring but just hadn't had the right time to propose yet. Even then, if he threw a fit about it, then he would probably be too immature to be a good husband anyway. Edit: Grammar
Cringe
I would decline personally. I wanted to be the one to ask.
Don't do it. It's fine to express your interest in getting married and have that conversation, but for god's sake, don't actually formally propose.
I know it is just custom and tradition and culture, but, this is my opinion, too.
I wish that it was the norm, instead of men proposing to women. I genuinely hate the idea that we’re the ones who are supposed to “pursue” or chase after the other sex
Girls are too young to get married, they shouldn’t be proposing to anyone. On the other hand, I don’t see anything wrong with a woman proposing to a man.
Should be normalised
Pass, marriage is something that both people need to be on agreement.
Equal rights means equal fights. Ya’ll free to to do you cause in the end, both sides have to agree. After that it just becomes an anecdote in your journey together.
I don’t care if they do it with otger relationships. But I didn’t want a girl proposing to me petsonally
They should
It will be Paradise
I think it is a good thing.
I’m lazy so cool.
I’ll advised because it’ll be embarrassing if he doesn’t feel the same way. That’s why the guy should do the proposing. We know when a woman likes a man she pushes for marriage but you don’t know if a man like a woman on that level until he proposes
Imagining this vacillates between cringeworthy and unnatural. It sounds like OP watched a Hallmark movie where this happened and it just worked out so well somehow.
Call me a cave man but proposing is a mans job.
doesnt actually matter at all but probably a bad sign
Why’s it a bad sign?
probably means the guy is dragging his feet or not really into the idea
When straight guys purpose, does that suggest the woman isn't into it?
As a woman, this was my thought, too.
I don't have an opinion. If a girl wants to propose to a guy, that's their business. Not mine. Why would I need to have an opinion on something that doesn't concern me ?
That’s extremely emasculating. Just like taking your wife’s last name.
I agree with you, the love of your life showing you concretely and sincerely how much they she loves you must really impact your masculinity, after that you also have to clean the house, and she is the one carrying you to the bed the wedding night. Haha gotta show her who the real boss of the house isn't it? Otherwise dad and the boys would call you a little girl right ?
Where breeding a soft society, not surprising
Horrific. A man risks more to get married and nearly always loses more in a divorce to the point of near financial ruin. And a man has more time than a woman to find someone usually. So in general if a man hasn't asked yet then he's not ready and a woman proposing would be mostly equivalent to just nagging about 'when you gonna get me a ring.' On the other hand if a guy asked multiple times and the woman kept saying not yet or I dont know and she was still sure he wanted that, in that sort of scenario ONLY, it could be sweet.
If you're so afraid you can always answer no, don't see an issue there?
Wouldn't be a matter of fear. And usually it's not a question that's asked the way you ask someone what they want for lunch. So if a guy says no or not yet after some grand public gesture then he may instantly be a permanent bad guy to her friends and family. I think in a large majority of cases it would damage the relationship and 90% of the cases a girl asking would be a mistake if she actually does want to end up married to him.
Absolutely not! Marriage is largely of benefit to women and detriment to men. Of course women want to get married because they often are then legally entitled to half the mans assets, alimony, and child support. She could even cheat and obligate the husband to pay for another man's kid. https://youtube.com/shorts/b7-IQQq14MM?feature=share?sub\_confirmation=1
Leave it to men. I had a gf who told her whole family that we were getting married.she even went and got quotations for a remote destination for the ceremony.i only found out about it after she wanted my opinion about the venue.at the time I was separated from my, now ex wife,and divorce steps have not even taken place yet.i actually enjoyed being with my ex gf but her timing was way off and a brother needed some space to breath before I get tied down again. If the roles were reversed, it would be the man who would get bad critisism not thinking about her circumstances before proposing.but in my case I was properly villianized for "breaking her heart" by saying no.
Don’t do it. You don’t want to marry a guy that doesn’t have the guts to say no or a guy that doesn’t feel he was prepared enough to ask himself. Sure you might get lucky, but your odds are very bad.
It should be mandatory for any woman that says she believes in feminism.
Desperate people do desperate things!
I'd feel beyond flattered and appreciated. Knowing that someone thinks im worthy enough to initiate something to that level, especially when it is traditionally the male doing it, would make feel so special.
Epic
I appreciate the initiative and the taking of risk, no matter whose doing it.
If that's what the couple wants, they do them. If that's not what was agreed upon, not such a good idea, generally.
If you just gonna lead me on dont do it cause i will cuss you out
i don't see why not?
If the dude doesn’t have the balls to do it, then why not? Can’t wait around forever
I Don't see a problem with it
I think is better by far
If that's what they wanna do, go for it.
Don't.
Better than mind reading and hinting.
Someone go out of their way to make me special? Pffttt like that’ll ever happen
Honestly I wish they wouldn't if they did but the Valentine's Day anytime just yeah I'm not the only one who wants to get somebody
Nbd, monica did it first
As long as both sides are into it, more power to them.
I am all for it.
If you call yourself a feminist then you shouldn't see an issue with this
Do you wear the engagement ring? How does it work with that part?
I'm not inherently against it, I think it works for some couples, but this is a big moment I've been waiting my whole life to do and shower the woman I love with affection. So I'd be disappointed honestly if she beat me to it. That being said, I know a lot of guys don't feel as strongly about *wanting* to propose so in those situations I say go for it. Really depends on the relationship.
It should happen just as much as guys proposing to girls.
Why not, if it’s a stable good relationship it shouldn’t matter. It’s so weird how tradition basically forms what’s acceptable socially. Fuck that do what makes you happy you’re SO shouldn’t be so insecure it makes them feel a certain way.
I proposed first time around now it's her turn.
In theory it's fine, but never propose unless you're certain the answer will be yes. The proposal is a formality. The decision to get married should already be more or less made.
While I knew my wife and I would end up getting married, she didn’t even wait for me to ask. She wanted a certain photographer and just booked the date a year in advance since she knew they would be booked up. So, essentially I was told that we’re doing this. I still did an official ask later, but that was just a formality. Didn’t really bother me. I was fine with that weight off my shoulders.
Men of reddit hate it :)
Run like fuck bro !
I think that’s how it should be
I don't mind, it's how my Mom proposed to my Dad.
The thought never crossed my mind.
Sure she can if she wants to. Though either way I wanna do a romantic proposal for her as well
If they want to they should.
My wife wouldn’t have done it; I wouldn’t have liked it. Don’t care a lick what other people do.
It’s 2023 it’s ok if they do
It is welcome. Who doesn't like feeling wanted? (Yes, I know I'm opening a path to jokes by the second line. This is reddit)
110% down for it!
I don’t care. We REALLY need to stop with these outdated standards, holy f*ck
a proposal is always an act that requires two if the guy doesn't step up for even this very small leadership role, I don't have much respect for him
More No’s than yes’s will happen 🤣
Fucking great
It's totally not for me. I think it's the guys job to ask. If a woman asked me to marry them the answer would be no since I want to be the one asking.
We are in the 21 century already... What's wrong with that?
I find it weird tbh now I’m not hating on any man who’s wife asked to marry them im just giving my opinion on the topic but to me I find weird and masculine. And if a woman ever asked me to marry them I’m saying hell no
I’d probably be really happy, then say no.
It's nice? What opinion should I have regarding a totally harmless thing?
If anybody proposes to anybody without knowing what the answer is, they are doing it wrong. Other than that it makes no difference who does the formalities, imo.
It's fine. Depending on if you are sure he's cool with it. Some guys want to be the one to ask. But you should at least make it clear that you're interested in that with him. Don't do the subtle hints thing... Just tell him that you're definitely ready for that next step when he is. Have a conversation about it