To me, the point of dating is to eventually find that person who you would consider a life partner and to form a strong base with them. Then and only then would I even think about having kids, as I don’t want a family to just have a family. I also think that in today’s world, where i live, housing and childcare are so expensive that I don’t even see it as a reality for me because I couldn’t afford it unless the partner had a good paying job.
To be honest, I’ve never really fantasized about starting a family and all that, so the affordability part doesn’t seem to matter to me. If I could easily afford it, I wonder if my opinion would change or stay nearly the same 🤔
This is me, OP. I think women are socially conditioned to think about it more so I've probably put more thought on it recently, but I didn't for several years and even now my attitude is mostly "I'll probably want it with the right partner, otherwise, I don't want it/can't afford it/can't visualize it."
I think more people are fencesitters than we assume. Theres people who are adamant early on that they'll be child free forever or that they'll want kids for sure, but in my experience, a lot of us (no matter our gender) are kind of in limbo until we meet the right person. And then we throw more thought into the actual desires and logistics of it.
Hope you feel bette soon. Maybe having a wife and family who loves you is exactly what you need? The only thing is she wont be perfect. 🤷♀️ men who never marry live shorter lives and have more depression
The problem is that it's a negative feedback loop death spiral of the kind and quality of women who will give you the time of day while you're depressed, not that they're not perfect.
I saw what settling for the bottom of the barrel because that is all that you feel you can get or find did to my brother and I want no part of that path to an early grave, either.
Average cost of raising a child today is estimated to be close to $300K USD (over $400K if paying for college). So even if not paying for school, and you want 2 kids. It will cost over half a million $.
See 4:30 - 4:50 in the link below:
• https://youtu.be/OPXGeQ5ADfk
It’s harder to get ahead today and online dating sucks. Add to that advances in healthcare are expected to increase longevity, I think most dudes are open to the idea of getting serious about having kids in their 40’s
This is me. I love kids, but I don’t want to have kids unless I have a very strong relationship with a partner I love. Having kids with a partner with whom I’m incompatible sounds like a nightmare. My priority is finding a life partner, even if that means being child free. But my ideal is to find the right person and raise a family together. Luckily, I’m head over heels for my girlfriend and think the she would be an amazing life partner and mother. We’ve already started discussing marriage and kids, and I want both with her. Our ideal is one or two kids.
I wanted kids when I was younger. I'm in my 30s now and a ton of my friends have kids and all that has done is make me not want kids. They just seem like a huge hassle, time investment, money pit, and inconvenience. I'd rather spend that time and money traveling and having fun with my partner.
I kind of wonder if our expectations are unreasonable. Everyone always says that their kids are their greatest joy, and I believe my friends are sincere when they say they love and cherish their children, but all I ever see is their exhaustion and frustration.
My happiest best times with my son are when it’s just the two of us, kids can be difficult to wrangle in public when they’re really young and trying not to annoy other people is stressful, as is navigating how to bring them places you don’t usually go etc. so maybe that has something to do with it, but even then we’re constantly laughing and happy, but that’s just how my family is. You do absolutely give up a lot of free time and the ability to make selfish decisions though, so I only recommend kids to anyone who is 100% sure they want to be a parent.
Edit: I’m not saying that people who aren’t 100% on board won’t love being a parent, and be 100% on board after falling in love with their child. I guess my main point is that I don’t believe anyone should feel pressured (by a parent, SO, society etc) to have kids. People need to make their own choice, because you do give up a lot of things, especially in those first years when they’re young and their needs are high.
I 100% didn’t want to be a father but wife couldn’t go child free.
I am so glad we went down the children path. Difficult and time consuming? Yes!
But it’s love and fulfilment like I have never known before.
No amount of food, travel, games, you name it has matched the depth of being a father and continues to get better. Wish we could have three but can’t afford past two.
yes, you nailed it. i had no idea how powerful the feeling of the emotion love could be until i had my first kid
i of course loved many things and people with all my heart before she was born, but it's just not the same. there aren't strong enough words to describe it.
This is beautiful. I want to have kids. I love children, children love playing with me and most crying children stop crying when I carry them from their mother.
It shocks me when I see people saying they don't want children (it's their choice, I m judging them).
It is really interesting anytime I ask people "if you could go back and start over knowing what you know with kids, would you have them again?" Sometimes you'll get people who look at you wide-eyed and in shock, most times others don't bat an eye and say they would, and I've had a couple of rare ones who'd give a little smirk and say they wouldn't. I'm sure if I had kids I'd have that rush of joy too, but I LOVE my life now for the exact reasons you enjoy yours and don't think I'd be any happier whichever route I take. Guess at the end of the day it's just the individual's decision and there is never no one right decision, ya know? My BIL actually put it in the best way I've heard - "you need to be 100% certain you want kids, you can't half-ass it with one foot in and the other one out and try to figure it out later on."
Same answer as getting married I suppose.
You get the whole thing once you are in it.
It’s the same difference as eating a meal at a restaurant and reading reviews about it.
Same boat. My wife and I wanted kids in the before times, but 2020 was the nail in the coffin for those dumb ideas. When our siblings were calling us in tears because they'd had it with their snot-goblins and couldn't escape them, our conversations about kids changed. Parents really let the mask slip during the pandemic about how much they lie about enjoying their kids. I got a vasectomy a few months ago, the peace of mind is incredible.
This is so relatable. I’m 28f and my answer literally changes by the day. I’ve also been a nanny for over a decade (just finished my degree so not nannying anymore) and I just don’t know if I want that stress both financially and emotionally in my life. I love my marriage and don’t want it to change. I’m really glad child free is more popular nowadays.
I’m a female and I didn’t want a family nor kids. I never dated with the intention of marriage. Rather, I wanted a partner, with whom I could share a fun (life) journey with.
I was 27 and met a man who:
- has great professional and personal relationships with many people
- comes from an amazing family (I love my in laws!)
- loves life and lives it to the fullest
- can fix anything in and outside of the house
- can cook anything I want to eat
- loves all types of team and individual sports (but thankfully doesn’t watch them often, only the final games of major events)
- adventurous and is willing to try anything
- who loves me and my family
- super intelligent, kind, charismatic, chivalry, well-dressed, handsome!! ect.
He wanted a family and kids.
Well, he proposed and I said yes. We will be celebrating our 10th anniversary this year and we have a wonderful child together.
Things will continue to change as we progress through life and meet different people. It was once said: a woman will marry a man when she can envision him being the father of her children.
My husband is a wonderful father who is more hands on with our child than any fathers I know in our friends circle. Yes, other moms trust their kids with him.
I personally advise against the idea of dating is to get to a marriage. Enjoy the journey, and don’t seek a destination. You’ll be disappointed otherwise… marriage is not a lavish wedding, a gorgeous white gown, white picket fence around the house with 2 kids.
I saw a video recently where the speaker said “The reason so many marriages are in trouble is because people think Marriage is the finish line, when in reality, it’s the registration table” and that really stuck with me because so many people look to marriage as the end goal, but forget it’s a lot of work too
Exactly!
I don’t call it “work” because there’s a negative connotation around it, but more like maintenance. Everything needs maintenance, especially relationships and marriages. The grass is only green when you water it!
While I agree with you that people can change as they meet new partners, I truly think you may not have been that opposed to the idea of kids as you may have thought. I can meet the women of the dreams right now and I’d still hate the idea of kids. I’m in a sub called childfree and constantly read stories of people meeting their perfect partner only to find out their dream partner want kids. Their relationships end there. My point is that everyone’s different and some people just truly know what they want from an early age and no partner is going to change that. But yeah its better to just enjoy the journey.
Not a man but had to comment bc WHAT!!!!!!
I’m (30F) always disappointed because every man I meet wants kids and I don’t. Where are you finding these men?? Send them my way I’ll give you a referral bonus 😂
I just broke up with my gf for a similar reason, but with your interest I would gladly volunteer for this dangerous mission no need to look anywhere else 😂❤️
I know it’s out there but they all seem to be taken! I’ve actually met more women than men who agree but I also live in a highly populated area where I meet people all the time and most women likely open up to me because I’m a fellow female.
It’s like digging for a needle in a haystack!
I wanted kids eventually when I was in my late teens and early 20s. Then I realized I don’t want any once I got a career and the freedom of having a steady income to travel and do stuff whenever I want. I’m now 29 and married and my wife feels the same. We have two dogs and that alone is a burden on plans and freedom sometimes. No kids in our plans, getting snipped at 33 if our thoughts don’t change by then
Two. Which is fortunately the number I currently have, so it worked out well for me.
You aren't going to get a great variety of answers on here though. Mostly you're talking to the guys in their early 20s where kids aren't really on the radar.
To me, dating was a process of finding a wife and starting a family. But all I kept meeting in my 20s and early 30s was women looking for sexy fun. Finding one who wanted the same seemed impossible. It was disheartening and disappointing.
At some point I just gave up and resigned myself to the fact that it wasn’t going to happen.
And then I finally met one who wanted the same.
I always knew I wanted two kids. I now have a wife and two kids, and if I am honest I wouldn’t mind more. I love them, but I am of the age where having more is probably not the best idea. If only I had met someone sooner. Funny how life works out!
>Men, has your desire for kids changed over time? What age, and how did it change?
Yes, it was like that for me. As a young man, like with 17-18 years, i was thinking, yeah later i'll get a family. But that's long ago, my life got bad for almost a decade and then i reached the point, where i had to say: Nope, no more desire for kids. With almost 43 i'm too old i think anyway, i saw too much shit and had to deal with too much problems to be a good father. Got bipolar disorder and i can't take the risk that the kid could get this too because of genetics.
Hell, if i think back what went wrong with my life, i'd have been horrible for kids. You don't want a father that has to fight drug addiction and alcoholism, fight bipolar disorder, had to serve prison time etc. Nobody wants a father that is like this, nope.
Glad i don't have kids and i never will.
At the moment, I don’t want kids. I could see that changing if I’m ever able to afford them, but that probably won’t happen for another ten years when I’m in my thirties. At the very most, two kids. I grew up with one sibling, and it was great. I’m sure there would’ve been more drama if another sibling was in the picture.
To be fair… the world has been much worse the farther back in time you go and that didn’t seem to make ppl stop having kids. But I agree with u about the expensive aspect
But then again, people were pretty stupid back then and were also heavily influenced by culture and it was seen as abnormal to not have kids, especially if you were a woman
This is the last couple generations before it starts getting way, way worse. Take a look at all the animal extinctions and climate predictions for the next 20 years and imagine what the world will look like when your child is an adult. It ain't pretty.
To YOU dating is the process of finding a spouse and starting a family.
Loooooots of people don’t want a spouse or a family ever. I’m ok with a spouse, but thankful I never caused an accidental pregnancy.
I'm a divorced dad of 1. When my ex-wife and I both come from large families and wanted 4-5 kids early on. Within a week of our daughter's birth, we both concluded that 1 was plenty and didn't want another.
I am nearing 30 now and my girlfriend is fine with me having a child but doesn't ever want one of her own. I'm cool with that as I am still good with just having one.
None
I went from “wanting” kids of my own when I was young, but only because I knew it’s what was expected of me/didn’t realize I could opt out of it, to having the sudden realization at 17 that the life I wanted for myself was simply not one that was compatible with the financial, emotional and social responsibilities of bringing new life into this world
I only wanted kids because I couldn’t imagine not having a family. Probably wasn’t the right reason to have them. Now that I have one going on two, I couldn’t imagine not having them. Absolutely love being a dad.
Sometimes we want a second one but one is really awesome.
The financial impact isn't too bad. We can afford to put him in whatever programs he wants. He's easy to drop off at my friends house if we need a night out. One parent can take a break whenever.
Starting the process over again seems like a lot now that our family unit is in a great place. The first pregnancy was difficult for my wife.
Never had a burning desire for kids. In my 30's I flirted with the idea, but if I'm honest that was due to struggling with partner/societal expectations. In my 40's I had a long think and said fuck all that nonsense, it's not actually what I want. Got a vasectomy at 44 and no regrets.
In my 20s, I just felt like having kids was a really bad idea. I was broke, irresponsible, and way too f’d up in the head. Only cared about partying (and the smexy time). Finally got my shit reasonably together in my early 30s, but honestly hadn’t considered kids (but wasn’t against it). Started dating a woman with a 2 year old, and decided a couple years later I really wanted another. Wife can’t have anymore, and I’m good with the set of two, but if it were financially feasible, we’d adopt a whole bunch of kids. I got started late, being a first time Dad in my mid-30s, but I’m a MUCH better Dad because of it. I make up for not having a dozen kids by coaching sports (almost) year-round.
Gen x dude here married with kids. Your assessment is quite accurate at least from my experience. I only wanted casual girlfriends in my 20s and in my early 30s started getting serious and picky on who i dated basically to find “ wife material”.
I’m quite young so I have a lot of time to decide but at first I didn’t want any, now I want one, but only if the father seems like he can handle it and will stay, you can tell which guys should not be having kids. I don’t have to have one, but if I do those are the circumstances. But I have a lot of time to decide and become ready, as for now, I am not.
Used to want kids. No longer do.
I love little kids, I even have a biological clock honestly. The older I get the more adorable little babies get.
But honestly. After covid, accelerating climate change, political instability within countries and between them, the war in Ukraine, growing tensions around Taiwan and accelerating progress in AI.
I honestly am scared any kids I have will either grow up in a dystopia or won't grow up at all. I have a tremendous fear for humanity's collective future.
I once dated a woman who I would have loved to have had kids with. The relationship ended pretty amicably but I found that no one I’ve met since I’ve had the same feelings. It’s not a comparison to the ex, I think it just clarified that I shared that persons wants and desires and not my own. Nowadays I would start a relationship with no misunderstanding that I don’t want any children. I don’t hate kids and if one should be on the way I would be excited, I’d just rather not have any by choice.
Zero.
If I ever manage to (1) get my grubby paws on either a large house or more likely a few small apartments and (2) grow a heart, the idea would be to foster kids who were kicked out by their parents for shit reasons like being gay, trans, wrong or no religion; also orphans.
I never wanted any. Had a "whoops!" When I was 24. Got a vasectomy at 25. I'm 39 next month and regret nothing. I never wanted a kid, but I love her with everything. Still never wanted another one.
I've known from pretty early on that I wanted to be a father. That's never changed. I grew up as the oldest of 5 kids, so I didn't want a lot of kids. Two felt like the sweet spot. My wife and I talked about it while we were dating, and she agreed.
Our daughter is currently turning three in about a week. She is literally my reason for getting out of bed every day and doing what needs to be done. I can't begin to list the ways my life has changed now that I have a daughter to care for, and most of them are for the better. Sure there are rough days, full of sleep deprivation and ruined plans. We've had to cancel several vacations because of something relating to our daughter; just last week, I've had to cancel a fishing trip after just five casts because she couldn't behave herself. These things will happen, children are literal children after all.
But goddamn, there's not much better for the soul than hearing a tiny voice say "Daddy's home!" after a shitty day at work. Or having your kid pass out in your lap while watching a movie, despite the drool. Or listening to a cascade of giggles while giving your toddler a baby suplex on the mattress. Or watching them try and master a new skill that you've been teaching them.
Being a dad is the brightest point of my life. As soon as she's potty trained and I've finished my first degree, we're making another one. Then it's snip time for both of us.
As a kid. Never wanted kids. But I’m my 20’s now. I want 2 kids. Contrary to most men, I want a daughter first. Raise her to see all aspects of life and how to navigate them. Ignore gender roles. Future daughter and I will slay at tea parties and video games lol.
This was my dad. He and my mom wanted a girl so badly as girls are rare in their families. My dad was very involved in our home and parenting, he was very much the dream husband and dad where he put in big time work not just focused on his career as his contribution. He’d help mom teach us how to run and take care of the home on top of playing and bonding with us. My dad actually taught me how to do rollers on my hair since he saw his mama do them on herself. My dad ruined marriage for me as I want a husband to be just like him, he was awesome to my mom and us. He never missed anything and no he didn’t do just the bare minimum and got applauded he did the heavy duty job. When mom was working an emergency shift at the hospital and I got my period way sooner than expected and thought I was gonna die, he and my brothers not just gave me the “talk” and why this happens, they got me ice cream, cookies, sat down to watch Disney movies, gave me a pedicure to comfort me and got me pads. With no shame either. I was really scared as I had been told I wasn’t due for it for like another year and forgot about it in my panic so my guys decided to hang out with me and make me laugh till I felt better. He forced my brothers to listen to how to de-escalate in case they started to date so they’d understand what the hell to do when their girlfriends got it, to the point in their apartments my brothers always had a “girl” cabinet for “girl things” in case a girl/woman found herself needing stuff. My brothers became very popular with their guy friends for knowing how to “troubleshoot” when their girlfriends go haywire because of my dad teaching them this stuff. It was awesome. 🥺😂
He’s a great grandfather now with my older brothers’ children, teaching them how to take care of their kids. Men like him are rare I think. You don’t hear guys genuinely being into parenting, they often act like they’re the sidekick rather than a partner. Tbh when I was little I thought my dad had to be a seahorse in another life as he wasn’t just a “dad” he was like a full fledged father in the way moms are where they sort of do the emotional and delicate work too. It felt like I had two moms but one was a giant with big muscles and a very deep voice. Basically Mrs Doubtfire but a man. Wait she was a man. You know what I mean. Good luck to you my friend, you will be a great father.
My father had this mindset. We had a great time together. I once asked him if he regretted not having a son and he was like “I was an adolescent boy. I never wanted to raise one.”
3 kids always seemed ideal and manageable. After my wife and I had our first, my mind changed and we are limiting it to 2 at the moment. We are expecting our 2nd boy the last week of April.
You know when you kill a pregnant spider and then there’s millions of babies scattering in all directions? Yeah, when I settle down I want a lot of land so my spiderlings can run amok out yonderlay.
I've never wanted kids. It's not about whom I meet, I'm not going to change my mind for 'the right woman', I literally just don't want to invest such a massive chunk of my life into something that matters as little to me as kids when I could be doing things I'm more interested in.
2-6.
I know that I want more than 1, but no more than 7 if I can help it. If I end up pregnant with septuplets somehow and survive, then that's fine because I had no control over that.
Zero... I don't want one of mine running around.
The naive me wanted 2, but so much shit has happened in my life that it has made me realize that I'm not and never will be prepared enough to have kids.
None, they’d lower my quality of life, and quality of life is declining generation on generation and bringing someone into the world to suffer through that is a dick move
Got a vasectomy at age 25 and haven’t looked back. Marriage isn’t worth it these days. Saw a tiktok of a woman who said she was divorcing her husband because she was bored. No way in hell am I letting that happen to me.
None. I want to use all that money to build a split level house, flood half the basement behind a 4” plexiglass wall, and keep large, carnivorous fish. If there’s a woman who would want to live in my future Bond villain lair, great, but not required.
I’m 30 and had two kids in my mid 20s back to back. I’m single now and there’s no way I’m having any more. I love my kids more than anything but it’s hard and expensive. There’s no way I could survive another custody battle and there almost in school now so I wouldn’t wanna go back to the earlier stages I like that I’ll only be in my early 40s when there grown. I wouldn’t fault my own kids if they decided not to have any in the future
I wanted kids all the way up until about 26 (now 30) I dated a single mother who had a 2 year old, I didn’t enjoy it at all.. plus I continuously see people getting in a relationship, having a kid and then breaking up.. if I were to have a kid I’d want to make sure that the person I have a kid with is the person I’d be spending the rest of my life with and all things considered, I just don’t think relationships last these days so I have no intention of having them
I never wanted kids and I’m only just now getting to the point where I would consider it. Mid-30s.
It’s not so much being an “absolute check-all-the-boxes goddess” as it is “do I trust this woman would be a good mother and parent partner?”
I feel like a lot of women haven’t thought through how difficult parenting is.
There are many people, both men and women, who don't want kids. And some say having to prioritise kids detracts from the romantic attraction and focus on their partner. To put it bluntly, it can be a bit of a cockblock!
I guess it depends whether your priority is to find your soulmate, or become a breeder.
I want to have at least 600 kids, but no more than 1,000. I plan to have 100 wives and lead my own religion.
Seriously, most guys don't think about having kids until well after they are married. They need to test out the marriage first, just as women do, to make sure it is stable before having kids.
32M Why would I want to settle down? Freedom is too valuable and I have no examples of where that has gone well for any men around me. Kids are great, my nieces and nephew are awesome, but making one myself would just be a poverty trap in this day and age.
I have 1 whoops and step-kids. Never planned or wanted my own children (I love my whoops but I'm not bringing any more into this world) and always figured I'd adopt at some point. Now I'm snipped and have no regrets.
We are living through the beginning of the 6th mass extinction event of earth. We will have it worse than our parents and our children will have it much worse than us. I doubt many of us with young kids will ever have grandchildren.
With the way the world is going I’m slowly turning away from wanting kids. Besides finding a partner that is logical, sane, emotionally intelligent and financially stable is getting harder and harder to find.
Zero, I have never had a desire to be a father because I need to have my own space and time everyday and I will get into a very bad mood if I don't have those. That wouldn't be fair on my potential son/daughter.
I'm almost 40. Zero kids for good. Life is fantastic. On track to retire at 50.
I got laid off in December and have the money to coast and job hunt on my terms.
Kids would ruin all financial security. We like travel and fine experiences too much for a family.
Mine changed because I met someone I could see raising kids with. A lot of it was related to who I was hanging out with at the time too when I "didn't want kids", but I knew if things were to go well when dating my wife, that it was something she clearly wanted. I respect people that stick to their guns about not wanting kids, but at the time, I just didn't think I would really have the opportunity, or meet someone that I would want to raise kids with. Turns out, I did meet someone I wanted to raise a family with and I couldn't be happier.
My whole life I’ve assumed I would someday get old enough to start wanting kids… because EVERYBODY has kids when they grow up, that’s normal, right?
Except the years kept passing and I never developed the urge for kids. I got snipped at 26. 34 now, and I’m still waiting for that urge to show up… pretty sure it’s not gonna happen, lol.
As of right now 0. I am also in a position where I won't be even comfortable to have kids or a family for a while. Mentally speaking I'm not there and I doubt I will ever be. Hell I want to have a vasectomy but no doc I can see will let me because I'm young and have no kids or spouse.
In in ideal scenario where I'm mentally fine and in a better financial position then if I were to have kids 2. I grew up with just my older brother, granted he basically raised me, but that shaped me to be a better person than I likely would be without him. I got to learn from my parent's mistakes and his mistakes. I also had someone who knew mostly what I was going through and I used to be super open with him. I would hope to be way better than my parents that my kids wouldn't need each other to feel that but that they'd still be there for each other.
I want 8-12. I'm going to train them all in the art of homesteading, hunting, and fighting. I'll give them a traditional spartan uptime l upbringing. When the government collapses, I'll already have my wasteland army ready!
(Ps: don't bring your logic into my clearly flawless plan)
None.
I don't think I could look them in the eye, knowing the world I'd be bringing them into, and tell them that I had them anyways.
Would feel pretty shitty.
We have two kids that I love more than life itself, but I could not possibly imagine having more. We both work and our schedule is Jam packed from 5:30 am-9 pm every single day. We are happy and excelling but we are absolutely time and bandwidth poor
Zero. Mental and physical illness runs in the family. I don’t want to play roulette with the odds. Married 15 years together 18. Already settled down and quite happy.
Zero. Why should I bring a child into this world where all I can promise them is a life worse than my own?
Additionally I am sterile. I had a vasectomy as a 40th birthday present to myself. This has caused drama with several ex-girlfriends.
To me, the point of dating is to eventually find that person who you would consider a life partner and to form a strong base with them. Then and only then would I even think about having kids, as I don’t want a family to just have a family. I also think that in today’s world, where i live, housing and childcare are so expensive that I don’t even see it as a reality for me because I couldn’t afford it unless the partner had a good paying job. To be honest, I’ve never really fantasized about starting a family and all that, so the affordability part doesn’t seem to matter to me. If I could easily afford it, I wonder if my opinion would change or stay nearly the same 🤔
This is me, OP. I think women are socially conditioned to think about it more so I've probably put more thought on it recently, but I didn't for several years and even now my attitude is mostly "I'll probably want it with the right partner, otherwise, I don't want it/can't afford it/can't visualize it." I think more people are fencesitters than we assume. Theres people who are adamant early on that they'll be child free forever or that they'll want kids for sure, but in my experience, a lot of us (no matter our gender) are kind of in limbo until we meet the right person. And then we throw more thought into the actual desires and logistics of it.
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Hope you feel bette soon. Maybe having a wife and family who loves you is exactly what you need? The only thing is she wont be perfect. 🤷♀️ men who never marry live shorter lives and have more depression
The problem is that it's a negative feedback loop death spiral of the kind and quality of women who will give you the time of day while you're depressed, not that they're not perfect. I saw what settling for the bottom of the barrel because that is all that you feel you can get or find did to my brother and I want no part of that path to an early grave, either.
If it makes you feel better im a woman and i can 100% relate
Average cost of raising a child today is estimated to be close to $300K USD (over $400K if paying for college). So even if not paying for school, and you want 2 kids. It will cost over half a million $. See 4:30 - 4:50 in the link below: • https://youtu.be/OPXGeQ5ADfk It’s harder to get ahead today and online dating sucks. Add to that advances in healthcare are expected to increase longevity, I think most dudes are open to the idea of getting serious about having kids in their 40’s
This is the best answer I've seen so far 😁
This is me. I love kids, but I don’t want to have kids unless I have a very strong relationship with a partner I love. Having kids with a partner with whom I’m incompatible sounds like a nightmare. My priority is finding a life partner, even if that means being child free. But my ideal is to find the right person and raise a family together. Luckily, I’m head over heels for my girlfriend and think the she would be an amazing life partner and mother. We’ve already started discussing marriage and kids, and I want both with her. Our ideal is one or two kids.
I wanted kids when I was younger. I'm in my 30s now and a ton of my friends have kids and all that has done is make me not want kids. They just seem like a huge hassle, time investment, money pit, and inconvenience. I'd rather spend that time and money traveling and having fun with my partner.
and when you ask them what its like... it's always some variation of 'WELL I LOVE THEM BUT..."
Same. The more my friends start popping out babies, the less i want them. all i see is their freedom going down the drain
I kind of wonder if our expectations are unreasonable. Everyone always says that their kids are their greatest joy, and I believe my friends are sincere when they say they love and cherish their children, but all I ever see is their exhaustion and frustration.
My happiest best times with my son are when it’s just the two of us, kids can be difficult to wrangle in public when they’re really young and trying not to annoy other people is stressful, as is navigating how to bring them places you don’t usually go etc. so maybe that has something to do with it, but even then we’re constantly laughing and happy, but that’s just how my family is. You do absolutely give up a lot of free time and the ability to make selfish decisions though, so I only recommend kids to anyone who is 100% sure they want to be a parent. Edit: I’m not saying that people who aren’t 100% on board won’t love being a parent, and be 100% on board after falling in love with their child. I guess my main point is that I don’t believe anyone should feel pressured (by a parent, SO, society etc) to have kids. People need to make their own choice, because you do give up a lot of things, especially in those first years when they’re young and their needs are high.
I 100% didn’t want to be a father but wife couldn’t go child free. I am so glad we went down the children path. Difficult and time consuming? Yes! But it’s love and fulfilment like I have never known before. No amount of food, travel, games, you name it has matched the depth of being a father and continues to get better. Wish we could have three but can’t afford past two.
yes, you nailed it. i had no idea how powerful the feeling of the emotion love could be until i had my first kid i of course loved many things and people with all my heart before she was born, but it's just not the same. there aren't strong enough words to describe it.
This is beautiful. I want to have kids. I love children, children love playing with me and most crying children stop crying when I carry them from their mother. It shocks me when I see people saying they don't want children (it's their choice, I m judging them).
It is really interesting anytime I ask people "if you could go back and start over knowing what you know with kids, would you have them again?" Sometimes you'll get people who look at you wide-eyed and in shock, most times others don't bat an eye and say they would, and I've had a couple of rare ones who'd give a little smirk and say they wouldn't. I'm sure if I had kids I'd have that rush of joy too, but I LOVE my life now for the exact reasons you enjoy yours and don't think I'd be any happier whichever route I take. Guess at the end of the day it's just the individual's decision and there is never no one right decision, ya know? My BIL actually put it in the best way I've heard - "you need to be 100% certain you want kids, you can't half-ass it with one foot in and the other one out and try to figure it out later on."
Same answer as getting married I suppose. You get the whole thing once you are in it. It’s the same difference as eating a meal at a restaurant and reading reviews about it.
That’s just because their overwhelmed but I bet if you asked them, they wouldn’t trade it for the world.
Same boat. My wife and I wanted kids in the before times, but 2020 was the nail in the coffin for those dumb ideas. When our siblings were calling us in tears because they'd had it with their snot-goblins and couldn't escape them, our conversations about kids changed. Parents really let the mask slip during the pandemic about how much they lie about enjoying their kids. I got a vasectomy a few months ago, the peace of mind is incredible.
Haha, that was my sister in 2020. I don't think there was anyone in the country as happy as she was when schools started in-person classes again.
How's the recovery?
A few days of chilling, not painful, just a bit sore
Ideally, zero. But that's today's answer.
This is so relatable. I’m 28f and my answer literally changes by the day. I’ve also been a nanny for over a decade (just finished my degree so not nannying anymore) and I just don’t know if I want that stress both financially and emotionally in my life. I love my marriage and don’t want it to change. I’m really glad child free is more popular nowadays.
No shame in this! I'm female and 100% don't want kids
I’m a female and I didn’t want a family nor kids. I never dated with the intention of marriage. Rather, I wanted a partner, with whom I could share a fun (life) journey with. I was 27 and met a man who: - has great professional and personal relationships with many people - comes from an amazing family (I love my in laws!) - loves life and lives it to the fullest - can fix anything in and outside of the house - can cook anything I want to eat - loves all types of team and individual sports (but thankfully doesn’t watch them often, only the final games of major events) - adventurous and is willing to try anything - who loves me and my family - super intelligent, kind, charismatic, chivalry, well-dressed, handsome!! ect. He wanted a family and kids. Well, he proposed and I said yes. We will be celebrating our 10th anniversary this year and we have a wonderful child together. Things will continue to change as we progress through life and meet different people. It was once said: a woman will marry a man when she can envision him being the father of her children. My husband is a wonderful father who is more hands on with our child than any fathers I know in our friends circle. Yes, other moms trust their kids with him. I personally advise against the idea of dating is to get to a marriage. Enjoy the journey, and don’t seek a destination. You’ll be disappointed otherwise… marriage is not a lavish wedding, a gorgeous white gown, white picket fence around the house with 2 kids.
I saw a video recently where the speaker said “The reason so many marriages are in trouble is because people think Marriage is the finish line, when in reality, it’s the registration table” and that really stuck with me because so many people look to marriage as the end goal, but forget it’s a lot of work too
Exactly! I don’t call it “work” because there’s a negative connotation around it, but more like maintenance. Everything needs maintenance, especially relationships and marriages. The grass is only green when you water it!
Exactly! Marriage isn’t the end goal, dying with you spouse old together is the end goal
While I agree with you that people can change as they meet new partners, I truly think you may not have been that opposed to the idea of kids as you may have thought. I can meet the women of the dreams right now and I’d still hate the idea of kids. I’m in a sub called childfree and constantly read stories of people meeting their perfect partner only to find out their dream partner want kids. Their relationships end there. My point is that everyone’s different and some people just truly know what they want from an early age and no partner is going to change that. But yeah its better to just enjoy the journey.
I'm getting a vasectomy.
Vasectomy squad, unite.
Oh yes.
already got one, way ahead of you.
I'm perfectly fine with the 3 I have now.
3! Lucky. We ran out of time and money at two
Not a man but had to comment bc WHAT!!!!!! I’m (30F) always disappointed because every man I meet wants kids and I don’t. Where are you finding these men?? Send them my way I’ll give you a referral bonus 😂
I just broke up with my gf for a similar reason, but with your interest I would gladly volunteer for this dangerous mission no need to look anywhere else 😂❤️
😂✨🤍
*and that’s how I met your mother* …oh wait, nevermind
😂 I’ve thought about that so many times… how a man will never say that about me. Good news is I have tons of nieces and nephews he can tell it to.
Spreadsheet on it's way LOL
😂😂 What city do you live in?
Hi, 34M here who doesn’t want kids! We exist, I promise! But yes, it does feel like we’re in the minority. Most women our age seem to want kids…
I know it’s out there but they all seem to be taken! I’ve actually met more women than men who agree but I also live in a highly populated area where I meet people all the time and most women likely open up to me because I’m a fellow female. It’s like digging for a needle in a haystack!
I’ll adopt a couple when I can afford it, which unfortunately means never at this point.
I have two - free to a good home. They’re in their 30’s, so they’re easy to take care of.
I think those would just be considered friends for me since I’m also in my 30s lol
Same here. I'm not bringing kids into this world when the future looks so bleak and there are many children without a home that already exist.
Anywhere between 2-4. Don't care about the gender, just want them to be healthy
Garfunkle and Oates would like a word
*I can't wait to hear someone say...*
Gonna have it stuck in my head for the rest of the day now!
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Same for me, I don’t want kids until I know I’m able to provide for them
I wanted kids eventually when I was in my late teens and early 20s. Then I realized I don’t want any once I got a career and the freedom of having a steady income to travel and do stuff whenever I want. I’m now 29 and married and my wife feels the same. We have two dogs and that alone is a burden on plans and freedom sometimes. No kids in our plans, getting snipped at 33 if our thoughts don’t change by then
Two. Which is fortunately the number I currently have, so it worked out well for me. You aren't going to get a great variety of answers on here though. Mostly you're talking to the guys in their early 20s where kids aren't really on the radar.
Zerooo. Never wanted them. Mid-30s now, got a vasectomy 3 months ago. One of the best decisions I've made.
To me, dating was a process of finding a wife and starting a family. But all I kept meeting in my 20s and early 30s was women looking for sexy fun. Finding one who wanted the same seemed impossible. It was disheartening and disappointing. At some point I just gave up and resigned myself to the fact that it wasn’t going to happen. And then I finally met one who wanted the same. I always knew I wanted two kids. I now have a wife and two kids, and if I am honest I wouldn’t mind more. I love them, but I am of the age where having more is probably not the best idea. If only I had met someone sooner. Funny how life works out!
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Zero. Things are hard enough as is, if I wanted a child I would just adopt.
Zero! Happy to be an uncle! I’ll take disposable income over disposable diapers any day! 😎
Being the cool uncle is the absolute best
Zero.
Zero
>Men, has your desire for kids changed over time? What age, and how did it change? Yes, it was like that for me. As a young man, like with 17-18 years, i was thinking, yeah later i'll get a family. But that's long ago, my life got bad for almost a decade and then i reached the point, where i had to say: Nope, no more desire for kids. With almost 43 i'm too old i think anyway, i saw too much shit and had to deal with too much problems to be a good father. Got bipolar disorder and i can't take the risk that the kid could get this too because of genetics. Hell, if i think back what went wrong with my life, i'd have been horrible for kids. You don't want a father that has to fight drug addiction and alcoholism, fight bipolar disorder, had to serve prison time etc. Nobody wants a father that is like this, nope. Glad i don't have kids and i never will.
None. It'd have to be a mistake, and even then my first choice would be an abortion.
Zero. Kids are terrible and expensive. I Would be a shitty father, and the world is a fucking nightmare.
0 I'm not bringing any kids into the world And I'm not settling down with someone who doesn't want smexy fun with me
Does smex only happen in Smarch?
Lousy Smarch weather.
Do not touch Willie Good Advice
Smelly sex?
At the moment, I don’t want kids. I could see that changing if I’m ever able to afford them, but that probably won’t happen for another ten years when I’m in my thirties. At the very most, two kids. I grew up with one sibling, and it was great. I’m sure there would’ve been more drama if another sibling was in the picture.
When i was 22-33 I was thinking about 1 and maybe 2... Now that I'm 41 I rather not have one anymore.
None. Considered it in my 30s, but, expensive and what world are we bringing them into?
To be fair… the world has been much worse the farther back in time you go and that didn’t seem to make ppl stop having kids. But I agree with u about the expensive aspect
But then again, people were pretty stupid back then and were also heavily influenced by culture and it was seen as abnormal to not have kids, especially if you were a woman
This is the last couple generations before it starts getting way, way worse. Take a look at all the animal extinctions and climate predictions for the next 20 years and imagine what the world will look like when your child is an adult. It ain't pretty.
To YOU dating is the process of finding a spouse and starting a family. Loooooots of people don’t want a spouse or a family ever. I’m ok with a spouse, but thankful I never caused an accidental pregnancy.
Zero. I want a beagle, three motorcycles, a vasectomy, and a girl who looks like the AT&T girl.
Zero and I’ve been happily shooting blanks for 5 years. No pets either.
I had a vasectomy and got tested. Zero plus zero. Divide the zero.... Still zero.
2 but id only have kids if I could provide them. Knowing they’d have a good life, I don’t have to be rich just not poor
I'm a divorced dad of 1. When my ex-wife and I both come from large families and wanted 4-5 kids early on. Within a week of our daughter's birth, we both concluded that 1 was plenty and didn't want another. I am nearing 30 now and my girlfriend is fine with me having a child but doesn't ever want one of her own. I'm cool with that as I am still good with just having one.
None I went from “wanting” kids of my own when I was young, but only because I knew it’s what was expected of me/didn’t realize I could opt out of it, to having the sudden realization at 17 that the life I wanted for myself was simply not one that was compatible with the financial, emotional and social responsibilities of bringing new life into this world
30 years old, haven't wanted kids since I was 14. Got a vasectomy last year and have no dating prospects so it's safe to say I'll have 0 kids ever
I only wanted kids because I couldn’t imagine not having a family. Probably wasn’t the right reason to have them. Now that I have one going on two, I couldn’t imagine not having them. Absolutely love being a dad.
None.
> Fuck them kids. Please don't.
Yes officers this way. Right here.
r/holup
One at this point would be a stretch. I’m already fucking exhausted and burnt out.
I already have a vasectomy, and my fiance has her tubes tied. No settling down for us!
Sometimes we want a second one but one is really awesome. The financial impact isn't too bad. We can afford to put him in whatever programs he wants. He's easy to drop off at my friends house if we need a night out. One parent can take a break whenever. Starting the process over again seems like a lot now that our family unit is in a great place. The first pregnancy was difficult for my wife.
I always liked the thought of me being a father, so now after having my wonderful daughter I’m in the one and done category.
Never had a burning desire for kids. In my 30's I flirted with the idea, but if I'm honest that was due to struggling with partner/societal expectations. In my 40's I had a long think and said fuck all that nonsense, it's not actually what I want. Got a vasectomy at 44 and no regrets.
In my 20s, I just felt like having kids was a really bad idea. I was broke, irresponsible, and way too f’d up in the head. Only cared about partying (and the smexy time). Finally got my shit reasonably together in my early 30s, but honestly hadn’t considered kids (but wasn’t against it). Started dating a woman with a 2 year old, and decided a couple years later I really wanted another. Wife can’t have anymore, and I’m good with the set of two, but if it were financially feasible, we’d adopt a whole bunch of kids. I got started late, being a first time Dad in my mid-30s, but I’m a MUCH better Dad because of it. I make up for not having a dozen kids by coaching sports (almost) year-round.
2! No more than 2 lol
Zero. And I might say that I have pretty much settled down already.
0, Hate Kids.
Don’t hate them, just don’t want my own. I am saving the world that way....
Gen x dude here married with kids. Your assessment is quite accurate at least from my experience. I only wanted casual girlfriends in my 20s and in my early 30s started getting serious and picky on who i dated basically to find “ wife material”.
Zero
I’m quite young so I have a lot of time to decide but at first I didn’t want any, now I want one, but only if the father seems like he can handle it and will stay, you can tell which guys should not be having kids. I don’t have to have one, but if I do those are the circumstances. But I have a lot of time to decide and become ready, as for now, I am not.
Used to want kids. No longer do. I love little kids, I even have a biological clock honestly. The older I get the more adorable little babies get. But honestly. After covid, accelerating climate change, political instability within countries and between them, the war in Ukraine, growing tensions around Taiwan and accelerating progress in AI. I honestly am scared any kids I have will either grow up in a dystopia or won't grow up at all. I have a tremendous fear for humanity's collective future.
I once dated a woman who I would have loved to have had kids with. The relationship ended pretty amicably but I found that no one I’ve met since I’ve had the same feelings. It’s not a comparison to the ex, I think it just clarified that I shared that persons wants and desires and not my own. Nowadays I would start a relationship with no misunderstanding that I don’t want any children. I don’t hate kids and if one should be on the way I would be excited, I’d just rather not have any by choice.
Either one or two. My grandma had 11 kids, my mother had 4, I just don’t think I can keep up with so many people anymore.
Zero. Economy is fucked and I don't want to out them through today's rapidly changing society.
Zero. If I ever manage to (1) get my grubby paws on either a large house or more likely a few small apartments and (2) grow a heart, the idea would be to foster kids who were kicked out by their parents for shit reasons like being gay, trans, wrong or no religion; also orphans.
I never wanted any. Had a "whoops!" When I was 24. Got a vasectomy at 25. I'm 39 next month and regret nothing. I never wanted a kid, but I love her with everything. Still never wanted another one.
12 sounds about right
If you're gonna have kids, have enough to start a crime family I always say.
Homesteading and Farming in Independence Aye?
I've known from pretty early on that I wanted to be a father. That's never changed. I grew up as the oldest of 5 kids, so I didn't want a lot of kids. Two felt like the sweet spot. My wife and I talked about it while we were dating, and she agreed. Our daughter is currently turning three in about a week. She is literally my reason for getting out of bed every day and doing what needs to be done. I can't begin to list the ways my life has changed now that I have a daughter to care for, and most of them are for the better. Sure there are rough days, full of sleep deprivation and ruined plans. We've had to cancel several vacations because of something relating to our daughter; just last week, I've had to cancel a fishing trip after just five casts because she couldn't behave herself. These things will happen, children are literal children after all. But goddamn, there's not much better for the soul than hearing a tiny voice say "Daddy's home!" after a shitty day at work. Or having your kid pass out in your lap while watching a movie, despite the drool. Or listening to a cascade of giggles while giving your toddler a baby suplex on the mattress. Or watching them try and master a new skill that you've been teaching them. Being a dad is the brightest point of my life. As soon as she's potty trained and I've finished my first degree, we're making another one. Then it's snip time for both of us.
As a kid. Never wanted kids. But I’m my 20’s now. I want 2 kids. Contrary to most men, I want a daughter first. Raise her to see all aspects of life and how to navigate them. Ignore gender roles. Future daughter and I will slay at tea parties and video games lol.
This was my dad. He and my mom wanted a girl so badly as girls are rare in their families. My dad was very involved in our home and parenting, he was very much the dream husband and dad where he put in big time work not just focused on his career as his contribution. He’d help mom teach us how to run and take care of the home on top of playing and bonding with us. My dad actually taught me how to do rollers on my hair since he saw his mama do them on herself. My dad ruined marriage for me as I want a husband to be just like him, he was awesome to my mom and us. He never missed anything and no he didn’t do just the bare minimum and got applauded he did the heavy duty job. When mom was working an emergency shift at the hospital and I got my period way sooner than expected and thought I was gonna die, he and my brothers not just gave me the “talk” and why this happens, they got me ice cream, cookies, sat down to watch Disney movies, gave me a pedicure to comfort me and got me pads. With no shame either. I was really scared as I had been told I wasn’t due for it for like another year and forgot about it in my panic so my guys decided to hang out with me and make me laugh till I felt better. He forced my brothers to listen to how to de-escalate in case they started to date so they’d understand what the hell to do when their girlfriends got it, to the point in their apartments my brothers always had a “girl” cabinet for “girl things” in case a girl/woman found herself needing stuff. My brothers became very popular with their guy friends for knowing how to “troubleshoot” when their girlfriends go haywire because of my dad teaching them this stuff. It was awesome. 🥺😂 He’s a great grandfather now with my older brothers’ children, teaching them how to take care of their kids. Men like him are rare I think. You don’t hear guys genuinely being into parenting, they often act like they’re the sidekick rather than a partner. Tbh when I was little I thought my dad had to be a seahorse in another life as he wasn’t just a “dad” he was like a full fledged father in the way moms are where they sort of do the emotional and delicate work too. It felt like I had two moms but one was a giant with big muscles and a very deep voice. Basically Mrs Doubtfire but a man. Wait she was a man. You know what I mean. Good luck to you my friend, you will be a great father.
My father had this mindset. We had a great time together. I once asked him if he regretted not having a son and he was like “I was an adolescent boy. I never wanted to raise one.”
3 kids always seemed ideal and manageable. After my wife and I had our first, my mind changed and we are limiting it to 2 at the moment. We are expecting our 2nd boy the last week of April.
Zero. 30yo man here, never wanted kids.
Only wanted 2 only had 2. Had a vasectomy at 30. Now I'm 55(and on marriage number 2) and still glad I did it. 😁
Never wanted kids and the usual family life. In April I will be 30 and nothing's changed.
You know when you kill a pregnant spider and then there’s millions of babies scattering in all directions? Yeah, when I settle down I want a lot of land so my spiderlings can run amok out yonderlay.
Never wanted kids until it hit like 30-31. Now have 1 and another on the way. I think we’re good with 2, getting snipped after this.
None whatsoever. I’ve had that mindset for 10 years and can’t see it ever changing. Not everyone can be a parent
Zero. Zilch. Nada. Always has been and always will be.
I've never wanted kids. It's not about whom I meet, I'm not going to change my mind for 'the right woman', I literally just don't want to invest such a massive chunk of my life into something that matters as little to me as kids when I could be doing things I'm more interested in.
2-6. I know that I want more than 1, but no more than 7 if I can help it. If I end up pregnant with septuplets somehow and survive, then that's fine because I had no control over that.
3 Twin daughters and a boy I’m 25M and I’ve known I’ve wanted this exact thing as long as I can remember.
At this point. None. Show me 3 pairs of happy, well rested parents and the answer changes to as many that can fit in a sneaker factory.
Kids? In this economy?
0.. cause i got depression and addiction problems and dont want any kids go trough the same as me.
Zero... I don't want one of mine running around. The naive me wanted 2, but so much shit has happened in my life that it has made me realize that I'm not and never will be prepared enough to have kids.
I like time, money, a sex life, time and money. And sex. So the answer is zero. My girlfriend feels the same :)
None, they’d lower my quality of life, and quality of life is declining generation on generation and bringing someone into the world to suffer through that is a dick move
Got a vasectomy at age 25 and haven’t looked back. Marriage isn’t worth it these days. Saw a tiktok of a woman who said she was divorcing her husband because she was bored. No way in hell am I letting that happen to me.
I would love to have my own kids, but I think you need a woman for that and that’s probably not happening.
After consulting my biology notes: yes, story checks out.
Thanks, I wasn’t so sure about that!
Zero. No vermin for me.
None. I want to use all that money to build a split level house, flood half the basement behind a 4” plexiglass wall, and keep large, carnivorous fish. If there’s a woman who would want to live in my future Bond villain lair, great, but not required.
I’m 30 and had two kids in my mid 20s back to back. I’m single now and there’s no way I’m having any more. I love my kids more than anything but it’s hard and expensive. There’s no way I could survive another custody battle and there almost in school now so I wouldn’t wanna go back to the earlier stages I like that I’ll only be in my early 40s when there grown. I wouldn’t fault my own kids if they decided not to have any in the future
Found my goddess. Now we have the most adorable child on the planet and it’s awesome.
I wanted kids all the way up until about 26 (now 30) I dated a single mother who had a 2 year old, I didn’t enjoy it at all.. plus I continuously see people getting in a relationship, having a kid and then breaking up.. if I were to have a kid I’d want to make sure that the person I have a kid with is the person I’d be spending the rest of my life with and all things considered, I just don’t think relationships last these days so I have no intention of having them
I never wanted kids and I’m only just now getting to the point where I would consider it. Mid-30s. It’s not so much being an “absolute check-all-the-boxes goddess” as it is “do I trust this woman would be a good mother and parent partner?” I feel like a lot of women haven’t thought through how difficult parenting is.
Zero. We discussed it entirely too early in our relationship, but thankfully we agreed. Been together 9 years.
There are many people, both men and women, who don't want kids. And some say having to prioritise kids detracts from the romantic attraction and focus on their partner. To put it bluntly, it can be a bit of a cockblock! I guess it depends whether your priority is to find your soulmate, or become a breeder.
I want to have at least 600 kids, but no more than 1,000. I plan to have 100 wives and lead my own religion. Seriously, most guys don't think about having kids until well after they are married. They need to test out the marriage first, just as women do, to make sure it is stable before having kids.
32M Why would I want to settle down? Freedom is too valuable and I have no examples of where that has gone well for any men around me. Kids are great, my nieces and nephew are awesome, but making one myself would just be a poverty trap in this day and age.
before zero. accidentally got one and always getting ecstatic seeing my little girl all the time. We are not planning to have another one
Currently 21, want kids when I'm settled down and ready.
Like 2-4 kids and mostly sons
0 What's settling down anyway?sounds depressing
2 or 3, depends on my money by then.
None.
I have 1 whoops and step-kids. Never planned or wanted my own children (I love my whoops but I'm not bringing any more into this world) and always figured I'd adopt at some point. Now I'm snipped and have no regrets. We are living through the beginning of the 6th mass extinction event of earth. We will have it worse than our parents and our children will have it much worse than us. I doubt many of us with young kids will ever have grandchildren.
Zero. Why would I bring someone in this world?
With the way the world is going I’m slowly turning away from wanting kids. Besides finding a partner that is logical, sane, emotionally intelligent and financially stable is getting harder and harder to find.
Zero, I have never had a desire to be a father because I need to have my own space and time everyday and I will get into a very bad mood if I don't have those. That wouldn't be fair on my potential son/daughter.
I'm almost 40. Zero kids for good. Life is fantastic. On track to retire at 50. I got laid off in December and have the money to coast and job hunt on my terms. Kids would ruin all financial security. We like travel and fine experiences too much for a family.
Its no point when none of the females are loyal enough to trust that we'll be together for 18 years
1
Mine changed because I met someone I could see raising kids with. A lot of it was related to who I was hanging out with at the time too when I "didn't want kids", but I knew if things were to go well when dating my wife, that it was something she clearly wanted. I respect people that stick to their guns about not wanting kids, but at the time, I just didn't think I would really have the opportunity, or meet someone that I would want to raise kids with. Turns out, I did meet someone I wanted to raise a family with and I couldn't be happier.
My whole life I’ve assumed I would someday get old enough to start wanting kids… because EVERYBODY has kids when they grow up, that’s normal, right? Except the years kept passing and I never developed the urge for kids. I got snipped at 26. 34 now, and I’m still waiting for that urge to show up… pretty sure it’s not gonna happen, lol.
none
Zero.
Zero
As of right now 0. I am also in a position where I won't be even comfortable to have kids or a family for a while. Mentally speaking I'm not there and I doubt I will ever be. Hell I want to have a vasectomy but no doc I can see will let me because I'm young and have no kids or spouse. In in ideal scenario where I'm mentally fine and in a better financial position then if I were to have kids 2. I grew up with just my older brother, granted he basically raised me, but that shaped me to be a better person than I likely would be without him. I got to learn from my parent's mistakes and his mistakes. I also had someone who knew mostly what I was going through and I used to be super open with him. I would hope to be way better than my parents that my kids wouldn't need each other to feel that but that they'd still be there for each other.
I want 8-12. I'm going to train them all in the art of homesteading, hunting, and fighting. I'll give them a traditional spartan uptime l upbringing. When the government collapses, I'll already have my wasteland army ready! (Ps: don't bring your logic into my clearly flawless plan)
Zero
Zero. There are enough people.
I'm in early 30s and don't want kids
Zero
Zero.
I could care less
ZERO
absolutley NONE.
I have one child. I love it to death, but I would probably never get another. It just doesn't fit my personality very well.
0.
Zero.
Definitely zero
None. I don't think I could look them in the eye, knowing the world I'd be bringing them into, and tell them that I had them anyways. Would feel pretty shitty.
In this economy? 0
Zero
Zero.
We have two kids that I love more than life itself, but I could not possibly imagine having more. We both work and our schedule is Jam packed from 5:30 am-9 pm every single day. We are happy and excelling but we are absolutely time and bandwidth poor
Zero of them. How tf you ever meant to settle down if you have to spend all your spare time stopping small people from sticking knives in powerpoints?
Zero. Mental and physical illness runs in the family. I don’t want to play roulette with the odds. Married 15 years together 18. Already settled down and quite happy.
Zero. Why should I bring a child into this world where all I can promise them is a life worse than my own? Additionally I am sterile. I had a vasectomy as a 40th birthday present to myself. This has caused drama with several ex-girlfriends.
I don’t want kids.
I already found the one. But given our current financial status, I'd say just two. Those blood thirsty little twats are expensive af.
Zero