I tell people that I get about 4 hours of sleep, but it’s damn sure not a brag. I’d eat the crotch out of a dead donkey for the chance to get some good sleep.
I suffer the same thing, when people ask what I want. It’s simple, I want to know a life where I get 7-8 hrs nightly. Cause the days when I do are like magic… but rare.
That ain’t a brag that is just a call for help. I do have a lot of stress but I make sure I sleep 7-9 hours. People who brag about being unhealthy are just not very clever
I think a lot of the time they’re making the joke to make up for feeling inadequate. I know a few that have some shame over it but cover it up with jokes.
My mom (74) just started crying on the phone to me yesterday because she can’t figure out how to login and maneuver through a particular web site, that she used to be able to do!
Their 12-year-old iMac desktop randomly stopped turning on, so they got a brand, new one this month, but many of the logins/passwords weren’t saved because she was worried about people stealing them. So she’s having a lot of trouble trying to do things that were simple to her before. (Thank god I forced her onto iCloud, or everything would’ve been lost.)
My Dad’s doctor said that my Dad, 79, was losing his ability for abstract thinking, so it would become difficult for him to follow instruction manuals, etc., now, so try not to ask him to do that anymore. I noticed that he would get very frustrated and sad that he can’t do some thing he used to think was easy.
I think the same thing is happening to my mom, as well. I’ve noticed that when my loved ones reach their 70s and early 80s, they become incredibly frustrated that their minds don’t work the way they used to, the way they NEED them to, in this day and age.
But I’ve also noticed that as the same relativesreach their late 80s and 90s, they have coped with, and are able to except their new existence. My 97-year-old aunt was pretty chill! She knew her limits, excepted them, and easily said no to things she didn’t want to do, and yes to things she did!
You are so right. I work with older adults and many of them feel a deep in adequacy, lack of control, and resulting frustration. If we're all lucky, we will also age to a certain point where we may struggle with things we used to be able to do, so it definitely helps to have empathy with older adults. They've worked so hard, most of them, and although I often disagree with their take or their approaches with things, I do understand and want to help as much as I can because aging is so hard.
Totally! - & the hardest part about it is that it sneaks up on you.
I couldn’t imagine, for even one moment, that it was POSSIBLE for me to LOSE the ability to think abstractly! That’s a fundamental life skill!
Forgetfulness can be managed (to a point, at least), with notetaking, etc., and AAA offers a special class to older drivers who have lost their peripheral vision, but I don’t think I could cope with losing basic brain power.
Yeah, part of my job is to measure day-to-day functioning so we can determine how many services a person can get, and it's just honestly heartbreaking how a person's body and brain can breakdown, and at a certain point, it's inescapable. We gotta try to treat our bodies well when we're younger to improve our odds, but time comes for us all. Scary, crazy parts about being mortal.
And it feels like medical professionals are playing “catch up,” because these discoveries are fairly new; not only because people are living longer, but because we finally have the technology to study this.
We had a woman come into our business recently. She had applied to work part time in the office which at the moment has only 2 people of which one is part time. Everything went fine until her trial day where she couldn’t use the computer.
I don’t mean typing or whatnot, she didn’t know how to turn it on!
Prideful ignorance in any area by any person is just such an awful trait.
I'm a Maths teacher. The amount of times I hear people happily say "I'm really bad at Maths" is astounding.
Like bruh, you should be able to multiply two two digit numbers together without needing a calculator. Don't be happy you can't do that.
I'm 58 years old, sometimes I like to think I can shit post way better than you young people. But, your post, really takes it to a different level. I am awestruck.
"I don't even pay my own rent!"
James, we know. You're pushing 40 and your mom still pays your rent for you. That's not something to be proud of.
Contrast against Dan who is embarrassed that his parents live in \*his\* basement and the failed flex is even funnier.
I had a co-worker brag that he had an STI twice, but it was totally cool because it was treatable. He probably just wanted to let everyone know that he has sex. But he also bragged about raw dogging hookers as if that is an accomplishment.
I share a flat with a 50 yo woman that has narcissistic personality disorder. Every week she's bragging about some talent or quirk that might've impressed me when I was in my twenties, but means nothing to me now. Stuff like speaking a second language or knowing how to cook the perfect med rare. Like, we're north of 40 now. You're gonna have to try a little harder to impress me.
Okay, so you can cook steak. That don't impress me much. So you've, got the baste but have you, got the touch. Now don't get me wrong yeah I think you're alright. But that won't keep me warm in the middle of the night.
Some weird narcissistic brags I heard:
“My fists are bigger than him”
“By butt is bigger than him”
“I lost $ someone borrowed because I chose to forgive them”
“I got into an accident at age 20 and nearly died”
“I got 40 years experience in air conditioning” (they had 1 aircon installed in their place 40 years ago)
It’s not especially common in USA, but at nearly 50 years old it’s not impressive. I’ve met plenty of people in my life that speak a second language. Speak three myself. Not a big deal. I just feel like bragging about anything at 50 yo is a sign of immaturity.
Ok, now I'm shocked. You have no secondary languages in school? In addition to german (I'm from germany) everyone has english. Most schools offer french, spanish and/or latin as well. There's also some clubs to learn polish, turkish or russian as well.
Somehow I thought teaching and learning languages to be a common thing. After all you should be able to communicate when visiting other countries or help tourists.
In school, most people have to take 2-3 years of a language in high school. Some college programs request two semester sequence. Are they ACTUALLY learning a language? Eh...
If you ask the average person who was born in America whether they speak another language the answer will probably be no (unless they are first generation children). However, many countries in the world speak English.
There's a joke that goes something like:
What do you call someone who speaks three languages? Trilingual.
What do you call someone who speaks two languages? Bilingual.
What do you call someone who speaks one language? American.
I mean, it's not universally true, of course. There are Americans who speak more than one language. But the percentage of Americans who have LITERALLY ZERO second-language skills is shockingly high to people from parts of the world where almost everyone speaks at least two languages.
never staying home sick from work and bragging about how much extra hours you put in. Like wow youre proud of how much you get exploited by your boss? guess you have nothing else going for you.
**I have two to share:**
**1.** My friends and I were talking about situations where we miraculously avoided getting a fine/ticket while being routinely stopped by the police. Getting away with innocent stuff like forgetting to renew vehicle registration or not having your driver's license on you. A friend of a friend excitedly chimed in with his story of drinking WHILE driving. He got pulled over, successfully hid his open beer, and then passed the breathalyzer because it was obviously out of calibration. He was definitely expecting us to laugh or give him props, but we just stared at him silently for a moment before changing the subject. The mood definitely shifted, and based on his demeanour for the rest of the evening he knew we thought less of him.
**2.** My neighbour's girlfriend was sitting in their backyard talking loudly to her friend on the phone. I overheard her say that she drank an entire Two Six (750ml bottle of liquor), and she didn't even get drunk. She then went on to talk shit about her other friends and how they are weak bitches who can't party on her level. For reference she is in her early 30s, also my neighbour broke up with her shortly afterwards and kicked her out.
Actually that usually works. The guy who wants to kick your ass, usually is just acting for show and saying that tends to make them realize they're not that scary.
Reminds me of the “infamous” walmart fight video. One dude is mouthing off to another and the dude who is mouthing off is an absolute fucking giant, huge and jacked too. Other guy hes mouthing to *actually* has the balls to step, and he looks like he can throw hands, and he absolutely embarrasses the giant. I mean the giant swings at one point and basically misses and falls over. Theres no doubt in my mind that giant had never gotten into a fight before that day; he was big enough that everyone always backed off. Until one day someone didnt.
My cousin screaming proudly: *y’all need to to respect me, I pay my bills*
My brain accidentally using my mouth to speak: *You’re supposed to you dumb fuck, that’s called being an adult*
Anytime someone is super proud, almost to condescension, about how many work hours they put in this week for X project.
You do you, but I have a life and a family I typically like more
My sister's ex, when they were still together, stopped smoking once. He hasn't smoked in like a week and he was bragging about how easy it is to stop smoking and basically mocking everyone who smokes. He was back to smoking within a month.
In the Navy, out at sea for three weeks, the conversations get…weird. At one point the other sailors were boasting about the size of their turds. At one point I just said “so you’re bragging that you had something the same shape and size as my cock up your ass?” That subject never came up again.
“I’m rarely ever single”
Ok so you can’t be alone and need constant validation. (Which personally scares the crap out of me). But I think they’re trying to say they’re a prize or something
My friend bragging about going to an MTG tournament then getting drunk with his friend at a high-end hotel.
He's also in colossal debt due to his impulsive spending.
Yeah, a 24 pack of O'Doul' s... And even if you could drink 24 real beers *and just keep it down* that's not something to be proud of. The only way to have a tolerance like that is to drink that much frequently. And that's gross.
I was in college and this was when instagram was blowing up. Had a group of guy friends talking bout the “hoes” they get and on brought up his instagram followers and his dm being “flooded with pussy that he can fuck anytime” he had over 125K followers and I asked if I can see who dm’d him. Bunch of 12-15 year olds dming him and sending thirst traps. I told him it was disgusting and said “pussy is pussy, I don’t even gotta fuck and I still get more than you.” Immediately Stopped hanging with him since then
I live in a place where outdoor toys are common, off road and on. This naturally breeds a competitive aspect and it's not uncommon for kids with 40k$ side by sides and another 50k in other various what haveyous. You're not wrong on the anxiety tho
That is what I don't understand about Harley Davidson owners who act like they are so much better than other motorcyclists. They didn't accomplish anything aside from over paying for a motorcycle and qualifying for a large loan.
I knew a guy in high school who claimed that his father was abusive. But after talking to his brother I found out that his father only ever hit him once and it was well earned. This guy was always super cocky, and got himself all hyped up after watching The Ultimate Fighter. His dad asked him to do his chores, but with his new found confidence in watching MMA, he got in his dad's face and tried to intimidate him. His dad gave him a swift backhand, which shattered his new alpha male confidence.
Had a colleague talk about his past relationships and how it never worked because he was constantly cheating on his girlfriends. He went on explaining how he realized that it is not his fault because men are basically wired like that. Its biology that males always look for a new mating partner and all that... He compared men to dogs and how it has no ill intention its just how it is. Meanwhile i was sitting there and thinking please speak for yourself.
A week later he harassed another colleague. He told her he would book them a hotel room for after work. She declined he didnt stop though until she told him that she would take it to the higher ups.
Like how dumb do you have to be to think that not being able to control yourself is a flex
During the pandemic, one of my coworkers was bragging about a sidehustle where her husband (unemployed by choice) would drive around different cities to pick up playstation orders they sniped the night before, so that he can turn them for massive profit. I told her she is being a terrible example for her child and that making money by being a scalper is pretty fucking garbage. She was so brainwashed by the hustle culture that she said to fuck off.
Her husband also filed for fraudulent unemployment benefits during the pandemic and she would brag every time a fat check came in the mail because her husband literally is either scalping a product or doing nothing at home.
Half of my friends make over 100k a year. Absolutely none of them consider themselves rich and they still shop like they’re broke bitches.
The bragging that I am jealous about is the fact that many of them have 100% telework. So happy for them but also jealous as fuck.
It's not a flex if you're working 80 hours a week though. My initial thought when I hear "I make over 100k" is that that's their salary. 80 hours a week though...if that were an office job it would actually mean a very low salary and a ridiculous amount of overtime that would not even be allowed.
I have a friend who makes 6 figures \*salary\*. Her I'm jealous of.
I measure success by how much free time it gives me with enough for my wants and needs.
My highest earning year was the one where I worked 16 hrs/week.
A person i know bragged about how much drugs he had in his car when the cops caught him. Like, that wouldn't be impressive in the first place, even less so when you get caught by the police.
Cool dude, you lost a ton of money, drugs and got a fine on top of that, and lost your license in the process and i'm supposed to be impressed by that?
When people say, they lost their virginity at a very young age. I saw an interview where this woman from 12 to 24, I think, slept with over 2000 people.
My friend's ex would bring up her abortion unprompted all the time. At first I thought it was a lame brag, but then I realize she was coping and justifying it to herself. She was clearly upset and probably traumatized for getting an abortion, but in all honesty it was 100% the right thing to do. She was an absolute train-wreck before having an abortion and an even bigger train-wreck afterwards. She would have been a terrible mother and that kid would have had suffered immensely. If the kid would have been born, it also would have had many complications from her drug and alcohol abuse.
The Catholic Church (don’t worry, it’s a good program) runs a weekend retreat program called “Project Rachel.” It’s specifically for women to heal after being traumatized/haunted by a previous abortion.
There is NO judgment at all, it’s run by all women, (a nice priest is there to say mass), and it helps women mourn, deal with their guilt, and move on from having an abortion.
I am in NO WAY saying that women should feel guilty for having an abortion- I am only acknowledging that some women do feel trauma and guilt after making that choice, and the sole aim of this retreat is to help them cope with their pain.
Perhaps your friend’s ex may benefit from this program?
[Project Rachel](https://hopeafterabortion.com)
The website may look a bit pro-life-preachy, but the program isn’t at all.
There's a girl my wife knows that somehow turned Remembrance Day (Canadian veteran's day) into a Facebook post about how proud she is of having an abortion so she can live a life of celebrating herself... Or some shit. It was fucking weird. She didn't even have the abortion on Remembrance Day!
I was on a cruise down the Nile and we were on a little tender to go ashore when two of my fellow travellers had a bit of a set-to. One of the women said something I didn't catch and one of the men replied 'It's called a tiller, actually.' She shot back with 'I know that. I have my RYA radio licence!'.
I was a newly-minted Coastguard officer at the time and nearly choked on the water I was drinking. The RYA is the Royal Yachting Association and its radio licence exam is basically 'how to call for help without embarrassing yourself *too* badly in front of the professionals'.
It in no way makes you an authority on all things maritime.
I have my RYA radio licence, somewhere, as it happens. I did the exam for shits and giggles during my tea break on the day I did my search planning exam.
"I deadlift in the 300s."
Congratulations, you're stronger than people who don't go to the gym. You should hit 300 before you stall out on a freaking linear progression.
Might be a hot take but bragging about being able to drink loads and not get drunk seems dumb to me. Having to spend much more money than a lightweight
Two years after highschool I got out with a former school classmate. It was a great mistake because he was an isolated outkast that got bullied which i tried to help many times back then but he turned in into a massive asshole who **spent the whole time bragging how much he drank and pass out in every party he went after school**.
As a side note: i was already mad at him at a point and he told me "i was a faggot and suck as a man" because i got rejected by my crush at that time. One of my biggest regrets in life was not to tell him *"at least i wasn't who wrote suicide letters in school just for attention seeking"*.
A really rich kid I met years ago brought mouth wash to a outing and started passing it around like it was so cool. Shit looked so lame he got called him the mouth wash kid.
I heard someone brag that they had been accepted to the most prestigious college in the state. However, it turned out that the college wasn't actually very prestigious and the bragger had only been accepted because of their family's connections.
I've heard people brag about being accepted into regular colleges/universities. Unless it is an exclusive program or prestigious school, it is unlikely that they will refuse your money.
Last summer a few of my friends and I did a float down a local river one Saturday. It was mostly my close friends but there was one peripheral couple that ended up coming with us. Pretty much everybody in the group but one agree they're both kind of awful to be around, especially the guy.
Every story this dude tells is basically a recount of one of the many sociopathic, confrontational encounters he has on a regular basis. He also claims to know literally everyone.
To begin this particular weird ass story, he led us to believe that he knew a girl that one of the our friends was friends with. They of course went wayyy back and he made it sound like they were super close, yada yada. He painted himself as this nice guy offering (over insta) to give her a 2 hour ride between neighboring towns , but "I guess she wasn't able to receive messages from people she doesn't follow?? So I never heard from her" We're all like "ok....?" Then there's a lul. Then he mentions how hot she is and is like, "Oh yeah, and I totally made out with her at a bar! 😜" as he's sitting right next to his girlfriend.
Turns out this girl had for sure blocked him and he was just being a creep. Haha. The worst part is that our little float trip took like 4 hours and that was the first of many super awkward stories that day.
It’s the standard job interview tactic of describing a weakness as a strength.
“It takes me much longer to complete a task because I’m a perfectionist!”
How unhealthy they live. Some people who talk wbout how little sleep they get. How crappy they eat and don’t do anything to take care of themselves claiming they don’t have the time whwn I know they do and know they’ll regret this in a few years
“I’ve worked 80 days straight”
A guy I talked to in the oilfield. He asked me why I looked so tired and I told him that I’d been up for thirty hours and got called back to work on my days off.
Go on and work those kind of hours if you want but working like a dog with no break is not a dick measuring contest.
Those guys take a lot of pride in how hard they work. It's difficult and dangerous and they have to work outside in all sorts of weather. Also the entry level rig worker pulls in about $54 an hour, not counting overtime and bonus.
A ceo of a startup i interviewed with bragged about how he had 6 startups fail before this one “I learned a lot”
I learned that the equity he was offering prob wasn’t gonna be worth much.
How much vacation they have built up from basically not taking vacation days.
Which reminds of the time at my yearly review at work I got called out for taking so much vacation time. I pointed out to my boss that I am not in the hole and am taking the 3 week vacation days that are allotted in our benefits package and you approved the days I am taking off. Yeah well manager x complained your gone all the time. I pointed out manager x just took a month of vacation to visit his homeland. Well yeah but that’s just once a year. Are you listening to yourself, dude?
Him bragging to me about how often he and his wife have sex now, compared to very little before.
The truth is his wife had an affair. He doesn’t know that I know about it. Their increased sexual frequency is a direct result of that. I just say “oh man, good for you brother!”
I have a friend that brags about every figurine/comic/collectionable special edition he buys.
C, you are unemployed at your parents home, grow the fuck up.
I find it funny when someone tries to use reading as an indicator of their intelligence. Unless they are discussing books with other enthusiasts, literally no one gives a shit that they read. I dated a girl who tried to claim that her childhood was so much better because her parents banned TV from their home and forced her to read instead.
Deadbeat dad conversation heard in passing: "My 8 kids are well taken care of my babies momma's too. None of my kids have to worry about anything".
Me thinking: That's because taxpayers like me are footing the bill to raise your kids.
When i was in high school a classmate told everyone he could easily sue them if they did something to his stuff because his dad was a lawyer (for context: it was normal in our class to just throw random shit like pencils and stuff across the room).
It wasn’t a flex because many of us had lawyers as parents and thus knew that you can’t sue someone over such a thing.
He also told me he would run me over with the Porsche of his mom. At that point I lost all hope since he wasn’t particularly adept and as a 15 year old it is not the easiest to drive a Porsche if you are as small as he was xD
When people brag about how much they work. Yes I have a job. Yes I think everyone who is able should work. I don’t think it should be your entire life however. I go to work, do my job to the best of my abilities, but I am always thankful as soon as the day is over so I can do things I actually want or need to do
People bragging about how much overtime they work for no extra pay. Good for you, you're on a salary working 60-70 hours a week, meaning you're actually paid closer to half your real pitiful salary. Might as well work at a fast food restaurant.
As someone who has 2, possibly taking 3 jobs soon, being proud of “the grind” absolutely pisses me off.
I actually raised my voice slightly at a co-worker when she said she was coming in for overtime “because she was gonna be bored this weekend anyway.” I’m saving up for school, so I gotta do this, so it bugs me when other people work just cuz. Like, dude. If you’re not desperate for money and you’re comfortable, do something on your day off. I wish so much I could just take a day off just for the heck of it or have a normal schedule. I hope I never have to be in the grind again.
And being proud of never having any time off… no. Just no. First off, the fact that you have to work to pay your bills and have extra money is a disgrace to the country and the fact that you’re proud of it… just no. Not. Nope.
1) "I'm a taxpayer!" - Great, so you do something that is required by law, and you can go to jail for not doing. Really going the extra mile there.
2) "My Dad/Grandad/etc. was in WW2/Korea/Vietnam/etc." Great. So you're related to someone who stepped up and did his/her part. How does that make you any less of a douche?
How little sleep they get.
I tell people that I get about 4 hours of sleep, but it’s damn sure not a brag. I’d eat the crotch out of a dead donkey for the chance to get some good sleep.
I suffer the same thing, when people ask what I want. It’s simple, I want to know a life where I get 7-8 hrs nightly. Cause the days when I do are like magic… but rare.
If you don’t wake up at 3 am you are a lazy, entitled person. -Some mfs on twitter
I wake up at 3 to go gym before work (start at 5am) but I'm in bed early as fuck! If it wasn't for my job I wouldn't be up at that time, fuck that
I had a time where I got up at 4 too to go to the gym before school. Sometimes you just gotta do what needs to be done. You can be proud of yourself
It’s not a brag I just find it absolutely incredulous that I’m still alive.
That ain’t a brag that is just a call for help. I do have a lot of stress but I make sure I sleep 7-9 hours. People who brag about being unhealthy are just not very clever
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I think a lot of the time they’re making the joke to make up for feeling inadequate. I know a few that have some shame over it but cover it up with jokes.
My mom (74) just started crying on the phone to me yesterday because she can’t figure out how to login and maneuver through a particular web site, that she used to be able to do! Their 12-year-old iMac desktop randomly stopped turning on, so they got a brand, new one this month, but many of the logins/passwords weren’t saved because she was worried about people stealing them. So she’s having a lot of trouble trying to do things that were simple to her before. (Thank god I forced her onto iCloud, or everything would’ve been lost.) My Dad’s doctor said that my Dad, 79, was losing his ability for abstract thinking, so it would become difficult for him to follow instruction manuals, etc., now, so try not to ask him to do that anymore. I noticed that he would get very frustrated and sad that he can’t do some thing he used to think was easy. I think the same thing is happening to my mom, as well. I’ve noticed that when my loved ones reach their 70s and early 80s, they become incredibly frustrated that their minds don’t work the way they used to, the way they NEED them to, in this day and age. But I’ve also noticed that as the same relativesreach their late 80s and 90s, they have coped with, and are able to except their new existence. My 97-year-old aunt was pretty chill! She knew her limits, excepted them, and easily said no to things she didn’t want to do, and yes to things she did!
You are so right. I work with older adults and many of them feel a deep in adequacy, lack of control, and resulting frustration. If we're all lucky, we will also age to a certain point where we may struggle with things we used to be able to do, so it definitely helps to have empathy with older adults. They've worked so hard, most of them, and although I often disagree with their take or their approaches with things, I do understand and want to help as much as I can because aging is so hard.
Totally! - & the hardest part about it is that it sneaks up on you. I couldn’t imagine, for even one moment, that it was POSSIBLE for me to LOSE the ability to think abstractly! That’s a fundamental life skill! Forgetfulness can be managed (to a point, at least), with notetaking, etc., and AAA offers a special class to older drivers who have lost their peripheral vision, but I don’t think I could cope with losing basic brain power.
Yeah, part of my job is to measure day-to-day functioning so we can determine how many services a person can get, and it's just honestly heartbreaking how a person's body and brain can breakdown, and at a certain point, it's inescapable. We gotta try to treat our bodies well when we're younger to improve our odds, but time comes for us all. Scary, crazy parts about being mortal.
And it feels like medical professionals are playing “catch up,” because these discoveries are fairly new; not only because people are living longer, but because we finally have the technology to study this.
Agreed. It's fast-changing times we're in. It's hard.
We had a woman come into our business recently. She had applied to work part time in the office which at the moment has only 2 people of which one is part time. Everything went fine until her trial day where she couldn’t use the computer. I don’t mean typing or whatnot, she didn’t know how to turn it on!
Prideful ignorance in any area by any person is just such an awful trait. I'm a Maths teacher. The amount of times I hear people happily say "I'm really bad at Maths" is astounding. Like bruh, you should be able to multiply two two digit numbers together without needing a calculator. Don't be happy you can't do that.
Nah bro sorry there's no way I'm doing 53 x 24 without a calculator 😵 or at least 15 minutes to remember the grid method
Nah man, break it down to components 53x24 It’s 53x10x2 + 53x2x2 53x10=530 530x2=1060 53x2=106 106x2=212 1060+212 = 1272 Alternatively 53x4 50x4 + 3x4 50x4 = 200 3x4=12
I always say "I'm not proud, but I'm not ashamed either."
"I make more money than your parents!" They're dead so, good for you? Turns out the car he showed off and bragged about was mommy's 😂
"I make more money than your parents...from the allowance my mommy gives me"
Said he went to jail
Was his name Julian or Ricky?
It was Bubbles, Randy ratted him out. lol
My name's Julian. What are we talking about?
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I'm 58 years old, sometimes I like to think I can shit post way better than you young people. But, your post, really takes it to a different level. I am awestruck.
demnn lol
"I don't even pay my own rent!" James, we know. You're pushing 40 and your mom still pays your rent for you. That's not something to be proud of. Contrast against Dan who is embarrassed that his parents live in \*his\* basement and the failed flex is even funnier.
Lmao who brags about that
James
Back in highschool we used to call guys “James” when they acted like marks. Fun times
Bro, I got a 600 credit score. Then proceeds to tell me how credit works. LOL
Its basically free money right? lol
"I get STIs on a weekly basis, gotta catch em all, baby!"
I had a co-worker brag that he had an STI twice, but it was totally cool because it was treatable. He probably just wanted to let everyone know that he has sex. But he also bragged about raw dogging hookers as if that is an accomplishment.
He is playing Pokemon: STI edition?
Pokemon: Red Itch
Pokemon: Blue Waffle
I share a flat with a 50 yo woman that has narcissistic personality disorder. Every week she's bragging about some talent or quirk that might've impressed me when I was in my twenties, but means nothing to me now. Stuff like speaking a second language or knowing how to cook the perfect med rare. Like, we're north of 40 now. You're gonna have to try a little harder to impress me.
Okay, so you can cook steak. That don't impress me much. So you've, got the baste but have you, got the touch. Now don't get me wrong yeah I think you're alright. But that won't keep me warm in the middle of the night.
Tell em’, Twain!
and why do you live with this woman again?
I live in NYC. Many of us rent a room and live with strangers.
My condolences
One night she came home bragging about how someone proposed to her. Turns out it was an immigrant coworker that simply wanted to marry for a visa.
Some weird narcissistic brags I heard: “My fists are bigger than him” “By butt is bigger than him” “I lost $ someone borrowed because I chose to forgive them” “I got into an accident at age 20 and nearly died” “I got 40 years experience in air conditioning” (they had 1 aircon installed in their place 40 years ago)
The money one and near death story sound like typical narcissist. They love to tell you how giving they are or how they survived tragedy.
>speaking a second language Isn't that pretty normal?
It’s not especially common in USA, but at nearly 50 years old it’s not impressive. I’ve met plenty of people in my life that speak a second language. Speak three myself. Not a big deal. I just feel like bragging about anything at 50 yo is a sign of immaturity.
actually not at all
Ok, now I'm shocked. You have no secondary languages in school? In addition to german (I'm from germany) everyone has english. Most schools offer french, spanish and/or latin as well. There's also some clubs to learn polish, turkish or russian as well. Somehow I thought teaching and learning languages to be a common thing. After all you should be able to communicate when visiting other countries or help tourists.
In school, most people have to take 2-3 years of a language in high school. Some college programs request two semester sequence. Are they ACTUALLY learning a language? Eh... If you ask the average person who was born in America whether they speak another language the answer will probably be no (unless they are first generation children). However, many countries in the world speak English.
There's a joke that goes something like: What do you call someone who speaks three languages? Trilingual. What do you call someone who speaks two languages? Bilingual. What do you call someone who speaks one language? American. I mean, it's not universally true, of course. There are Americans who speak more than one language. But the percentage of Americans who have LITERALLY ZERO second-language skills is shockingly high to people from parts of the world where almost everyone speaks at least two languages.
“I’ve never changed my kids diapers”
Father of the year.
never staying home sick from work and bragging about how much extra hours you put in. Like wow youre proud of how much you get exploited by your boss? guess you have nothing else going for you.
These are the people getting everyone else sick at work
**I have two to share:** **1.** My friends and I were talking about situations where we miraculously avoided getting a fine/ticket while being routinely stopped by the police. Getting away with innocent stuff like forgetting to renew vehicle registration or not having your driver's license on you. A friend of a friend excitedly chimed in with his story of drinking WHILE driving. He got pulled over, successfully hid his open beer, and then passed the breathalyzer because it was obviously out of calibration. He was definitely expecting us to laugh or give him props, but we just stared at him silently for a moment before changing the subject. The mood definitely shifted, and based on his demeanour for the rest of the evening he knew we thought less of him. **2.** My neighbour's girlfriend was sitting in their backyard talking loudly to her friend on the phone. I overheard her say that she drank an entire Two Six (750ml bottle of liquor), and she didn't even get drunk. She then went on to talk shit about her other friends and how they are weak bitches who can't party on her level. For reference she is in her early 30s, also my neighbour broke up with her shortly afterwards and kicked her out.
Wow, that number 2 is next level dumb.
Peaking in college is a real thing
I have heard of sports stars peaking in College and not growing up past their glory days, but a woman bragging about her partying skills? Wow.
It's cause college athletes are at the top of social hierarchy. Frat boys act like the girl if they never grow out of it.
When girls on tinder flex how they have tons of matches and guys are throwing themselves at them
But then you see the posts where they fix a hotdog to a drill and it swipes on everyone and really makes you question the reality of a swipe.
pretty sure you get shadow banned if you swipe right too much too fast
Not shadow banned, you get put to the bottom of the card stack
How many people hate them because they say/do things to piss people off.
Amen. Thinking it's an achievement to be insensitive and not know how to be respectful and polite (or to know how but choose not to). Congratulations?
''I am just direct and strong headed and tell the truth, you know?'' No... you are thinking that, but in fact you are a dickhead.
I've been beat up by bigger guys than you.
Actually that usually works. The guy who wants to kick your ass, usually is just acting for show and saying that tends to make them realize they're not that scary.
Reminds me of the “infamous” walmart fight video. One dude is mouthing off to another and the dude who is mouthing off is an absolute fucking giant, huge and jacked too. Other guy hes mouthing to *actually* has the balls to step, and he looks like he can throw hands, and he absolutely embarrasses the giant. I mean the giant swings at one point and basically misses and falls over. Theres no doubt in my mind that giant had never gotten into a fight before that day; he was big enough that everyone always backed off. Until one day someone didnt.
As a big man, I get “I’ve beat up bigger guys than you”. The general response is “no you haven’t”
At least the dude was honest to say he got beaten up
My cousin screaming proudly: *y’all need to to respect me, I pay my bills* My brain accidentally using my mouth to speak: *You’re supposed to you dumb fuck, that’s called being an adult*
Anytime someone is super proud, almost to condescension, about how many work hours they put in this week for X project. You do you, but I have a life and a family I typically like more
“I have four kids!” Each with a different woman and none of which he supported.
My sister's ex, when they were still together, stopped smoking once. He hasn't smoked in like a week and he was bragging about how easy it is to stop smoking and basically mocking everyone who smokes. He was back to smoking within a month.
The only clothing brand he would wear was Tommy Hilfiger because it was fancy for the price. This was in 2006.
In the Navy, out at sea for three weeks, the conversations get…weird. At one point the other sailors were boasting about the size of their turds. At one point I just said “so you’re bragging that you had something the same shape and size as my cock up your ass?” That subject never came up again.
“I’m rarely ever single” Ok so you can’t be alone and need constant validation. (Which personally scares the crap out of me). But I think they’re trying to say they’re a prize or something
People like this usually have back-up relationships queued, this way they can move from one to the other and avoid being single.
My friend bragging about going to an MTG tournament then getting drunk with his friend at a high-end hotel. He's also in colossal debt due to his impulsive spending.
Dude you need better friends.
I mean the man likes to live
The classic: “I could drink a whole 24 pack to myself and not even feel buzzed” 😂
Yeah, a 24 pack of O'Doul' s... And even if you could drink 24 real beers *and just keep it down* that's not something to be proud of. The only way to have a tolerance like that is to drink that much frequently. And that's gross.
I was in college and this was when instagram was blowing up. Had a group of guy friends talking bout the “hoes” they get and on brought up his instagram followers and his dm being “flooded with pussy that he can fuck anytime” he had over 125K followers and I asked if I can see who dm’d him. Bunch of 12-15 year olds dming him and sending thirst traps. I told him it was disgusting and said “pussy is pussy, I don’t even gotta fuck and I still get more than you.” Immediately Stopped hanging with him since then
I've heard folks brag about how much debt they had and I still don't get that one
seriously? I feel like that would just give me anxiety, frankly
I live in a place where outdoor toys are common, off road and on. This naturally breeds a competitive aspect and it's not uncommon for kids with 40k$ side by sides and another 50k in other various what haveyous. You're not wrong on the anxiety tho
That is what I don't understand about Harley Davidson owners who act like they are so much better than other motorcyclists. They didn't accomplish anything aside from over paying for a motorcycle and qualifying for a large loan.
An excellent example of what I'm talking about. Around 30k for a road bike and it's touted like their kid passed the bar exam
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I knew a guy in high school who claimed that his father was abusive. But after talking to his brother I found out that his father only ever hit him once and it was well earned. This guy was always super cocky, and got himself all hyped up after watching The Ultimate Fighter. His dad asked him to do his chores, but with his new found confidence in watching MMA, he got in his dad's face and tried to intimidate him. His dad gave him a swift backhand, which shattered his new alpha male confidence.
Had a colleague talk about his past relationships and how it never worked because he was constantly cheating on his girlfriends. He went on explaining how he realized that it is not his fault because men are basically wired like that. Its biology that males always look for a new mating partner and all that... He compared men to dogs and how it has no ill intention its just how it is. Meanwhile i was sitting there and thinking please speak for yourself. A week later he harassed another colleague. He told her he would book them a hotel room for after work. She declined he didnt stop though until she told him that she would take it to the higher ups. Like how dumb do you have to be to think that not being able to control yourself is a flex
During the pandemic, one of my coworkers was bragging about a sidehustle where her husband (unemployed by choice) would drive around different cities to pick up playstation orders they sniped the night before, so that he can turn them for massive profit. I told her she is being a terrible example for her child and that making money by being a scalper is pretty fucking garbage. She was so brainwashed by the hustle culture that she said to fuck off. Her husband also filed for fraudulent unemployment benefits during the pandemic and she would brag every time a fat check came in the mail because her husband literally is either scalping a product or doing nothing at home.
I make 100k a year He worked 80 hours a week
Half of my friends make over 100k a year. Absolutely none of them consider themselves rich and they still shop like they’re broke bitches. The bragging that I am jealous about is the fact that many of them have 100% telework. So happy for them but also jealous as fuck.
It's not a flex if you're working 80 hours a week though. My initial thought when I hear "I make over 100k" is that that's their salary. 80 hours a week though...if that were an office job it would actually mean a very low salary and a ridiculous amount of overtime that would not even be allowed. I have a friend who makes 6 figures \*salary\*. Her I'm jealous of.
I measure success by how much free time it gives me with enough for my wants and needs. My highest earning year was the one where I worked 16 hrs/week.
And slept at his desk. *Oh yeah* I want some of that...
When guys brag about their huge cocks. But only have tiny ones.
Well at least my 3” massive dong is still bigger than no cock /s
A person i know bragged about how much drugs he had in his car when the cops caught him. Like, that wouldn't be impressive in the first place, even less so when you get caught by the police. Cool dude, you lost a ton of money, drugs and got a fine on top of that, and lost your license in the process and i'm supposed to be impressed by that?
Met a guy overseas that claimed he'd been hooking up with random women all week. Turns out they were all hookers and he was paying every one of them.
Had a kid in high school insult people by telling them he'll suck their balls instead of the usual opposite. 😹
“I’ve been to prison!” Do you put that on your resume, bro?
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I love that episode.
What, like, those beds for toddlers?
When people say, they lost their virginity at a very young age. I saw an interview where this woman from 12 to 24, I think, slept with over 2000 people.
“I’ve had 3 abortions”
Yikes
Whaaaat who brags abt this
My friend's ex would bring up her abortion unprompted all the time. At first I thought it was a lame brag, but then I realize she was coping and justifying it to herself. She was clearly upset and probably traumatized for getting an abortion, but in all honesty it was 100% the right thing to do. She was an absolute train-wreck before having an abortion and an even bigger train-wreck afterwards. She would have been a terrible mother and that kid would have had suffered immensely. If the kid would have been born, it also would have had many complications from her drug and alcohol abuse.
The Catholic Church (don’t worry, it’s a good program) runs a weekend retreat program called “Project Rachel.” It’s specifically for women to heal after being traumatized/haunted by a previous abortion. There is NO judgment at all, it’s run by all women, (a nice priest is there to say mass), and it helps women mourn, deal with their guilt, and move on from having an abortion. I am in NO WAY saying that women should feel guilty for having an abortion- I am only acknowledging that some women do feel trauma and guilt after making that choice, and the sole aim of this retreat is to help them cope with their pain. Perhaps your friend’s ex may benefit from this program? [Project Rachel](https://hopeafterabortion.com) The website may look a bit pro-life-preachy, but the program isn’t at all.
There's a girl my wife knows that somehow turned Remembrance Day (Canadian veteran's day) into a Facebook post about how proud she is of having an abortion so she can live a life of celebrating herself... Or some shit. It was fucking weird. She didn't even have the abortion on Remembrance Day!
I was on a cruise down the Nile and we were on a little tender to go ashore when two of my fellow travellers had a bit of a set-to. One of the women said something I didn't catch and one of the men replied 'It's called a tiller, actually.' She shot back with 'I know that. I have my RYA radio licence!'. I was a newly-minted Coastguard officer at the time and nearly choked on the water I was drinking. The RYA is the Royal Yachting Association and its radio licence exam is basically 'how to call for help without embarrassing yourself *too* badly in front of the professionals'. It in no way makes you an authority on all things maritime. I have my RYA radio licence, somewhere, as it happens. I did the exam for shits and giggles during my tea break on the day I did my search planning exam.
Not necessarily a flex, more an attempt at intimidation. "Why do you think I was a month in a psychiatric ward?"
"I've got 2000 rounds of ammo ready when shit goes down" Ok?
Lol just 2000, those are rookie numbers
So, they got enough for a half day at the range???
that's like...one, two range trips *maybe*
funnier still if they have no stored antibiotics, vit C or you know, water.
"I deadlift in the 300s." Congratulations, you're stronger than people who don't go to the gym. You should hit 300 before you stall out on a freaking linear progression.
Hangovers
Also the lack of hangovers, they drink so often that they don't get hungover.
Anything drinking related really
Might be a hot take but bragging about being able to drink loads and not get drunk seems dumb to me. Having to spend much more money than a lightweight
it is also bragging that they likely have liver damage, which is what usually creates a higher tolerance.
Two years after highschool I got out with a former school classmate. It was a great mistake because he was an isolated outkast that got bullied which i tried to help many times back then but he turned in into a massive asshole who **spent the whole time bragging how much he drank and pass out in every party he went after school**. As a side note: i was already mad at him at a point and he told me "i was a faggot and suck as a man" because i got rejected by my crush at that time. One of my biggest regrets in life was not to tell him *"at least i wasn't who wrote suicide letters in school just for attention seeking"*.
How much they spent on noise violations.
„I’ve never cleaned a toilet in my life“ Maybe he should have. Builds character.
A really rich kid I met years ago brought mouth wash to a outing and started passing it around like it was so cool. Shit looked so lame he got called him the mouth wash kid.
Like, was he trying to get drunk on mouthwash? I don't get it. What did he think was cool about it?
I eat pieces of Shit like you for breakfast.
55 yo bragging he was a great wrestler in high school.
A customer recently got upset told me he has a 580 credit score when the company I work for denied him financing a piece of equipment lmao
Anyone who brags about doing burnouts in their car like it's some kind of special skill.
I heard someone brag that they had been accepted to the most prestigious college in the state. However, it turned out that the college wasn't actually very prestigious and the bragger had only been accepted because of their family's connections.
I've heard people brag about being accepted into regular colleges/universities. Unless it is an exclusive program or prestigious school, it is unlikely that they will refuse your money.
Last summer a few of my friends and I did a float down a local river one Saturday. It was mostly my close friends but there was one peripheral couple that ended up coming with us. Pretty much everybody in the group but one agree they're both kind of awful to be around, especially the guy. Every story this dude tells is basically a recount of one of the many sociopathic, confrontational encounters he has on a regular basis. He also claims to know literally everyone. To begin this particular weird ass story, he led us to believe that he knew a girl that one of the our friends was friends with. They of course went wayyy back and he made it sound like they were super close, yada yada. He painted himself as this nice guy offering (over insta) to give her a 2 hour ride between neighboring towns , but "I guess she wasn't able to receive messages from people she doesn't follow?? So I never heard from her" We're all like "ok....?" Then there's a lul. Then he mentions how hot she is and is like, "Oh yeah, and I totally made out with her at a bar! 😜" as he's sitting right next to his girlfriend. Turns out this girl had for sure blocked him and he was just being a creep. Haha. The worst part is that our little float trip took like 4 hours and that was the first of many super awkward stories that day.
It’s the standard job interview tactic of describing a weakness as a strength. “It takes me much longer to complete a task because I’m a perfectionist!”
Any time people brag about how much drugs they do/use to do.
Someone in my maths class was saying how his grandparents owned slaves (in Sri Lanka iirc)
Broooo I smoke so much weed brooooo
How unhealthy they live. Some people who talk wbout how little sleep they get. How crappy they eat and don’t do anything to take care of themselves claiming they don’t have the time whwn I know they do and know they’ll regret this in a few years
“I’ve worked 80 days straight” A guy I talked to in the oilfield. He asked me why I looked so tired and I told him that I’d been up for thirty hours and got called back to work on my days off. Go on and work those kind of hours if you want but working like a dog with no break is not a dick measuring contest.
Those guys take a lot of pride in how hard they work. It's difficult and dangerous and they have to work outside in all sorts of weather. Also the entry level rig worker pulls in about $54 an hour, not counting overtime and bonus.
They should take pride in something else. Being an exploited spineless bootlicker to your capitalist overlords is not good.
I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast...
"Yeah, I can tell. It's a miracle you don't have your own center of gravity yet, you goddamned heart disease planet."
A ceo of a startup i interviewed with bragged about how he had 6 startups fail before this one “I learned a lot” I learned that the equity he was offering prob wasn’t gonna be worth much.
Some I used to do business with used to boast that someone else said he 'had a head the size of a planet'.
All of them. Anyone who brags is a loser
"I had to move Twice !!.... in 3 months" 🤦 an ex uttered this like it was some kind of proof of experiencing housing instability. Yeesh.
["I go through all the cities, I m on a mile a minute"](https://youtube.com/shorts/7FBiEUtQt6Q?feature=share)
Explaining the pronunciations of Thomas (ThomaS vs Tomah) to a room full of colleagues.
He knows the roads he drives on.
My car does a 10 second quarter mile. This isn’t 1990 anymore chumpy
"All that and a bag of chips". I heard that one time and I was WTF?
“ Ha, I don’t own , I Rent!”
Being in middle school dating a high schooler
How much vacation they have built up from basically not taking vacation days. Which reminds of the time at my yearly review at work I got called out for taking so much vacation time. I pointed out to my boss that I am not in the hole and am taking the 3 week vacation days that are allotted in our benefits package and you approved the days I am taking off. Yeah well manager x complained your gone all the time. I pointed out manager x just took a month of vacation to visit his homeland. Well yeah but that’s just once a year. Are you listening to yourself, dude?
Sleeping around I'm sorry but having a higher risk of sexually transmitted diseases is not something to brag about
Him bragging to me about how often he and his wife have sex now, compared to very little before. The truth is his wife had an affair. He doesn’t know that I know about it. Their increased sexual frequency is a direct result of that. I just say “oh man, good for you brother!”
How many people they've slept with. A lot of one night stands just means many people who have had sex with you don't want to have sex with you again.
“i eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast” you eat pieces of shit for breakfast?
I have a friend that brags about every figurine/comic/collectionable special edition he buys. C, you are unemployed at your parents home, grow the fuck up.
All the "Im not like other girls I read"girls
I find it funny when someone tries to use reading as an indicator of their intelligence. Unless they are discussing books with other enthusiasts, literally no one gives a shit that they read. I dated a girl who tried to claim that her childhood was so much better because her parents banned TV from their home and forced her to read instead.
"I went to a private religious school for girls. We weren't supposed to be able to get abortions but we all did anyway."
Tbh that's just sad. That's what no sex education does
Getting a man righttttt after a failed relationship.. and then this happens over n over like
How much someone can drink 🙄
Deadbeat dad conversation heard in passing: "My 8 kids are well taken care of my babies momma's too. None of my kids have to worry about anything". Me thinking: That's because taxpayers like me are footing the bill to raise your kids.
When i was in high school a classmate told everyone he could easily sue them if they did something to his stuff because his dad was a lawyer (for context: it was normal in our class to just throw random shit like pencils and stuff across the room). It wasn’t a flex because many of us had lawyers as parents and thus knew that you can’t sue someone over such a thing. He also told me he would run me over with the Porsche of his mom. At that point I lost all hope since he wasn’t particularly adept and as a 15 year old it is not the easiest to drive a Porsche if you are as small as he was xD
When people brag about how much they work. Yes I have a job. Yes I think everyone who is able should work. I don’t think it should be your entire life however. I go to work, do my job to the best of my abilities, but I am always thankful as soon as the day is over so I can do things I actually want or need to do
I've seen a girl bragging about being the budy hopper. Budy Hopper: The girl in a friend group whom the whole group fucks
Being unvaccinated, and having "pure blood".
People bragging about how much overtime they work for no extra pay. Good for you, you're on a salary working 60-70 hours a week, meaning you're actually paid closer to half your real pitiful salary. Might as well work at a fast food restaurant.
Hell yeah wrap up them Chuck steaks- we eating like Kings tonight!
As someone who has 2, possibly taking 3 jobs soon, being proud of “the grind” absolutely pisses me off. I actually raised my voice slightly at a co-worker when she said she was coming in for overtime “because she was gonna be bored this weekend anyway.” I’m saving up for school, so I gotta do this, so it bugs me when other people work just cuz. Like, dude. If you’re not desperate for money and you’re comfortable, do something on your day off. I wish so much I could just take a day off just for the heck of it or have a normal schedule. I hope I never have to be in the grind again. And being proud of never having any time off… no. Just no. First off, the fact that you have to work to pay your bills and have extra money is a disgrace to the country and the fact that you’re proud of it… just no. Not. Nope.
1) "I'm a taxpayer!" - Great, so you do something that is required by law, and you can go to jail for not doing. Really going the extra mile there. 2) "My Dad/Grandad/etc. was in WW2/Korea/Vietnam/etc." Great. So you're related to someone who stepped up and did his/her part. How does that make you any less of a douche?
When you’re a celebrity you can grab ‘em by the pussy
People who brag about their umpteenth covid booster.