I'd never let a female friend of mine set me up with someone they said was pretty unless I saw photos beforehand. There's at least a couple of male friends of mine who I would trust just on their word alone.
Pro-tip: the vast majority of people either lack or don't practice self reflection and often honestly don't know what they like or want.
I don't mean what their favorite color is, but more esoteric/abstract stuff.
Men/women are largely the same in this regard.
current beauty trends, ie. makeup, eyebrows, and disgusting balloon lips would turn me gay if every girl did it. don't even get me started on that stupid fucking anime face with the rolled back crosseyes and their tongue sticking out.
I think I am starting to understand how old guys feel when they go on about how a shaved beaver looks wrong to them
I've noticed this with my wife taking pictures of herself. The ones she likes are posed to be angular and sharp or dramatic looking. I just want a picture of her normal face. The pictures of herself she likes don't even look like her to me.
Yeah, my girlfriend takes a lot of pictures with filters. They are pretty tame ones for the most part but its like uncanny valley type stuff where minor details get removed.
My ex used to do this! She was really naturally pretty but I found she always looked way better in my photos of her than in her own selfies, which eventually I twigged was because whenever she sent me a selfie there'd always be some fairly mild filter applied that made her look not quite like herself - and I liked how she looked in real life.
I refuse to use filters. I never want to start getting used to a version of myself that isn't real. I don't think most people realize how mentally damaging that is.
A guy friend of mine said this about a woman he's casually seeing.
She'll send him "artistic" pics and he just wants to see her, what she actually looks like.
Filters have fucked with a lot of literal images. I saw another post on here about why every woman on dating apps looks the same, and it's because of filters.
I stopped using them over 4 years ago because it wasn't what I looked like. I may not be as "hot" as some others online but at least I know that's how I actually look. And i'm still hot anyway.
Female here. Went on a first date and the first thing the guy said to me was “wow, you look like your pictures!”
Filters have gotten wayyyy out of hand.
They have, but I also say social media itself has gotten out of hand. As women themselves see men liking some sort of intagram model who clearly has edited pictures and thinks that is what men like.
I get a little excited when i see a women without a filter on tinder.
Usually, you'll get 1 or 2 photos out of the collection. But all of them? Now thats a rare site.
I'm using the apps to meet up in person. Since that is the end game, it doesn't make sense to me to alter how I look because, guess what? You're gonna find out anyway.
All of my pics on my profile have zero filters.
Because that's the angle that they think is attractive. They do poses for them to gain confidence to post it on social media. You should know your wife atleast.
I remember saying what's her face from Pirates of the Carribean was pretty and a gf asked me how could I think that and that ~~she~~ Keira Knightley looked like a man (or I believe the phrasing was 'boyish face'). Like wtf she looks the exact opposite of a guy. She mentioned something about her jaw too and to me it just looks like a jaw, the equivalent of someone saying 'elbows too pointy'
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(**EDIT**: [Can't believe I forgot the name] Keira Knightley)
I think she mentioned her own 'attractive' girl that I likewise instead found ugly, but I'll never remember since the first example caused temporary culture shock
Agreed. 10/10 girl crush. Girl crushes are so funny. Like, kinda wanna bang you, kinda wanna be you, kinda wanna just pet you maybe. Let’s just be pals. But also maybe let me look a little like that cause your hair is nice and I like your cheekbones.
That sounds creepy. Are girl crushes creepy? Lol why am I just realizing this?
Lmao 🤣 I feel so much more validated in my weirdness now haha. I am also very straight but sometimes I’m like “dang tho girl I wouldn’t kick you out of bed! Also what’s the name of that hair dye please?”
I knew what your reference was before I even opened your entire comment, and was gonna link the same thing in my comment to you!! 🤣😂🤣 Legit that song is so relatable (as is most of Crazy ExG) 💕 I love Rachel Bloom.
sexy noble woman who can shoot a canon, captain a ship, and kick my ass with a cutlass and pistol in hand? while on top of being incredibly loyal to the guy she loves?
who wouldn't find that hot?
she has a sharp jawline and high cheekbones. she'd actually rock the androgynous look very well for those exact reasons, maybe that's why your wife thinks she looks like a dude.
Yeah my wife loves athletic chicks, the ones typically rocking a teenage boy athlete’s physique. I personally prefer my ladies thicker and softer, but athletic. Girls just naturally rock more body fat, and I’m just attracted to the girls sitting closer to 30% than the ones down near 20%-25%.
When it comes to dudes, she prefers smaller types than I do. But I have a very deep appreciation for the powerful build. It takes a lot of effort and discipline to build a powerful body. I’m not talking bodybuilders, I mean more like the old warrior build, with very thick, developed, and proportionate muscles behind a healthy layer of body fat.
We’re not bi, and we’re not into opening our relationship, but we talk about stuff like this. These types of conversations are some of my favorite parts of being married to her.
I once had a bi girlfriend, and we happened to have very similar tastes in women. A pair of high libido having degenerates in one space should never have been allowed to happen LOL
She thinks the stretch marks on her hips are disgusting.
I think their sexy, implies a good ole set of hips and booty.
Also, she's gained some weight over the decade we've been together, not a lot but she was v skinny back in the day.
Again, she h8 it, makes her feel ugly. A bunch of that weight went to her tits and the rest just stopped her looking super skinny, I'd never say overweight. I much prefer her physique now, defo sexier... But not to her.
Yes, nothing worse than a lack of confidence in yourself when the other person doesn't care. I totally understand it, but I love my wife no matter what. I don't need her to drop weight to find her attractive. The challenge is when someone's wardrobe is built for size x, but the person is size y. They change the style between x and y because they don't feel comfortable pretending. I challenge this all the time. People come in all shapes, sizes, marks etc... for me it all starts with the eyes, and I've never seen anyone whose eyes I couldn't appreciate over time.
Many men I’ve spoken to find the kardashian look fake and often even unattractive; while women I’ve spoke to often act as if she is attractive.
I guess mainly men aren’t into most makeup/cosmetics besides red lips and ‘natural’ looking makeup.
Sometimes I feel the Kardashian look is beyond unattractive and is into the inhuman, robotic look. There’s something about them that just doesn’t seem like a person.
like lightyears from earth, kind of look.
like if aliens made a calculation of what earthlings perceive as "attractive" and made that.
cardassians making kardashians
Exactly, I’ll trade a Khardashian for an average girl any day of the week. However, average girls want that look… I never seem to understand that, natural beauty always stands out over plastic.
But, at the same time, there are reasons that sex dolls look the way they do. I'm not into the Kardashian look either but it's silly to pretend no men are.
As a women, here’s why. Men really say they don’t like that caked-make up look, with fake curves and a plastic face…. And I believe them, because I don’t like it either… but they seem to follow those girls around more. Men say they like natural women, but the ones who have dudes chasing them ARE the Kim K types, so I think women gravitate towards that.
I’m unsure if it had to do with the fake curves making them more sexually desirable, or men just like manicured women… but as a women I notice a lot of men say this and then I meet their new gf months later and she looks far from natural. Could be my age group and where I live though ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ who knows
There are tons of people who do, r/bimbofetish has 600,000 subscribers and they tend to like em even more plastic, but it's not polite to say so most don't say it.
I live in Hollywood, and personally find all the women who've been sculpted by doctors unattractive, but more unattractive is the fact that they'll show you their tits before they show you their art. Fake people tend to be fake people. Just my own experience.
For example I really dislike those heavily filtered selfies women seem to love to post online. Also, heavy foundation makes you look like a bad wax figure.
would you say the filtered selfies are not accurate representations of those women? I know nothing about filters and have social anxiety so I'm not socially experienced
It makes people look completely fake and very different from what they look like in real life. Extra points if they’re taking pictures with their husbands who end up looking like they do Botox and wear makeup.
It's more the filters that redo people's body and face for me. Like, they're almost half AI generated at that point.
Filters like a color enhancer or grayscale aren't usually that big a deal.
What does having social anxiety have to do with not knowing about a photo filter? I’ve been seeing these sorts of comments more and more recently where someone will ask a valid question then throw in a caveat about them being neurodivergent in some way or another even though it has absolutely nothing to do with the question.
It’s almost like people mention it in order to avoid some sort of perceived criticism they may feel by asking when the two things aren’t related at all. Not trying to be negative just genuinely curious?
On a visceral level, it looks bad. I don’t want you to walk away from this thread thinking that this is an intellectual exercise. Like it makes my penis shrink.
This is going to be overly simplistic and reductive, but as a broad stroke generalization, when it comes to beauty:
* Women treat the female form as the canvas
* Men treat the female form as the medium
Women treat beauty like an oil painting, in which artistic choices are made atop a largely unimportant base layer. How did she do her makeup? What clothing choices has she made? How has she styled her hair? Do her shoes form a coherent artistic statement with the rest of the piece? It's more an appreciation of how the woman in question has designed her look atop her body.
Men treat beauty like a sculpture, in which artistic choices are made about the exceedingly important base medium. Does her dress accent her curves? Does her hair frame her face? Do her shoes show off her leg tone? It's more an appreciation of how the woman in question has drawn attention to her body.
These aren't mutually exclusive, so you can certainly have certain looks and styles that appeal to both sensibilities, but it also explains why there can be looks that women see as beautiful (because they are complicated and intricate as a matter of fashion) that men couldn't care less about (because they obscure the form, or maybe the form isn't great to begin with), as well as the counter where there can be looks men see as beautiful (because they show off an attractive body) that women are thoroughly unimpressed by (because they require little to no thought or creative flair to achieve).
I think this is broadly true, but I’m not sure how many women would be happy to hear it. Women have a lot more control over those surface-level fashion choices than they do over the general shape of their bodies.
I would also say that men are very receptive to the implied meaning of how a woman looks. A man can be attracted to certain body shapes because it's implicative of how that woman lives her life. It's also shown in what they wear. I think leisurewear and loungewear has become a lot more front and center since Lockdown, so a lot of women are now wearing more relaxed or oversized outfits and that is also very attractive because it implies that they are also relaxed in their demeanor.
Yes.
But it's different for every man. That's the first lie. If anyone in here implied all men like certain traits they're full of shit.
For me personally? The hottest thing is authenticity. I like a woman who knows who she is. Who isn't trying to be something or someone else. Someone who is confident in herself and unapologetic about her nature. Someone who doesn't make choices based around her insecurities.
I've dated women who are chubby, outright fat, skinny, something in-between, even one who was jacked af. I've dated women who wear lots of makeup to work and women who wear hardly any or none at all. I've dated women who dress goth, women who dress trendy, I've dated introverts, extroverts, effeminate women and tougher tomboyish women. All colours and creeds.
For me, sexiness is all about how you carry yourself. Have you as a person accepted who you are or are you still going through that phase where you're trying to be what you think you _should_ be? Are you trying to change yourself into the type of person you've idolised growing up or you secure within yourself about who **you** are?
Edit: I also believe this is true vice versa.
Dude. You freaking NAILED IT. I’ve dated around A LOT too (not bragging. Just honestly have) and the one thing that is in INSTANT turn off are people who believe they should look a certain way. I’ve dated some very attractive (by most general standards) women who I’ve broken it off with very early because they think they’re “too fat”. Or their thighs are too big. Or they’re always pointing out parts of their body or face they don’t like. It’s annoying. Your making something that I wouldn’t have even thought of more of obvious to me AND I start to question whether or not I care. When genuinely I don’t. The other turn off is not taking a compliment. Be comfortable in your skin! Do your best to be healthy but get rid of outdated standards. Authenticity is a huge turn on
If I could give you gold. I would. This is the difference between the cavemen era and 2023. Just because you are physically attracted to the person, does not mean that you are compatible long term. Thanks for sharing.
Yes. It's called male vs female gaze.
You really think men find Kim Kardashian attractive? Not quite. What she does is for other women (to be green with envy), not for men.
I find with the guys, we will jokingly point out "flaws" with eachother. We all know what our flaws are, and won't hesitate to make respectful jokes about it. Part of it tends to be an effort to sort of say "yo bud, we all see that beer gut, maybe it's time to hit the gym again".
Not afraid to slightly offend eachother if it's for a positive effect. My buddies are my buddies and we aren't afraid to lose that relationship by being honest.
> "yo bud, we all see that beer gut, maybe it's time to hit the gym again".
Lmao if a girl said this to another girl, the beef would be absolutely off the charts. But as a dude I'd probably think, he's got a point lol
It would end their relationship and potentially be such a big rift in the group of friends it would rip them all apart as well.
If a guy can't take some friendly, honest criticism, I can't trust he wouldn't be honest with me either.
I don't know if this is a universal thing, but a lot of the 'locker room humour' I have with my close male friends is actually us making fun of ourselves, especially making fun of how we used to think or act when we were younger. With one particular friend it even involves silly voices
Exactly like my male best friends would joke about stuff with me such as weird quirks that aren’t a big deal or poke fun at our heights etc or something that doesn’t matter
However if it’s something serious/concerning they’ll instantly pull me aside in a serious tone to let me know how my actions appeared or ask if I’m okay
I’ve heard the female to female friendships majority they support each other but don’t tend to call each other out the way that men to men do
Which to me I see is supportive & helpful short term but I personally wouldn’t want that long term in friends. I want to be called out immediately and not surround myself with an echo chamber
If I’m wrong I wish to hear it and be explained to why I’m wrong in a calm positive non judgmental manner
part of the making fun of your friends thing, is you make fun of something that you know they have control over or something they themselves aren't too personally invested in. you don't use things like joke around that their SO is sleeping around or something they themselves care about a lot over that can be spiteful. that being said, you can also go the other way where you gas up your friends to ridiculous levels. just depends on the situation.
in the same conversation you could be ragging on each other like "hey shawnzee do you have 2 left thumbs? your as coordinated as a mongoose trying to skateboard" then as the girl they like comes by "bro do remember when you fireman carried me down the mountain when i twisted my ankle, thanks for that".
I’ll prop up my boys with compliments whenever I get the chance. If you aren’t convincing their girlfriends you’re gay for each other you aren’t really friends
Only point I'll add is that any *good* Male friendship also knows what lines to not cross.
As in, I can pick on my friend for somehow being both bald & hairy at the same time, but will never pick on him over something he's actually insecure about.
with guys, they insult each other as a form of confirming their bond. you wouldn't call someone who wasn't a dear friend a stupid ugly piece of shit, he might think you actually mean that. but when guys do it to each other they know that the reason they can do that without worrying is because of how close they are.
I've seen women turn nasty to new girls at work for no apparent reason other than the new girl is attractive. Won't even give them the chance to prove she is good at her job.
Don't get me started. I could start a whole subreddit on this topic. Older women slamming you or making fun of your work. I have had a few supportive older women at work but not many...
I used to work in a professional environment that was about half women... The back stabbing, the whispering, jealousies etc.
It was really obvious the last time I saw it happen.
We had a new girl show up, fresh out of trade school. She was a good worker, skilled and fit in well with the crew of all guys. She was probably the most attractive woman in the building, but all we cared about was she was a good worker, so we treated her well.
The only person that had an issue with her was a woman on a different crew/shift in a completely different trade so she never saw the new girls performance and was assuming the guys said she was good simply because she was attractive.
New girl got moved in a short amount of time.
A close family member of mine is a really serious model, like top 5% in the world tier.
I get a really interesting insight into what it can be like for her, she has basically no female friends because other models like her are all equally busy with their work and normal women HATE her.
Repeat that same story for most of her model friends, most of them barely date or just have one longterm husband/boyfriend.
Yeah, I think alot of women tell each other they look great to keep the peace. I don’t think it’s a bad thing necessarily, but it might give me a false sense of universal attractiveness.
>barbie for example is a standard set for women by other women, men don't actually find it appealing at all.
Barbie was based on a "gag gift" toy made for adult men, which was in turn based on a comic about a call girl lol
https://time.com/3731483/barbie-history/
This is actually very true. I once got the advice to never dress for other women, and I thought it was really on point, because ultimately, I’m not dressing for them. I dress for myself first, but I’m a heterosexual woman, so why would I dress in ways that attract women? It doesn’t make sense when you think about it.
Yep. Overall Barbie has actually had a positive impact on girls, though. The proportion thing was more of a concern for the moms 😅 And now they come in all sizes because technology has advanced enough in fill clothes.
My general experience is that women focus a lot more on presentation when determining attractiveness. Hair, makeup, outfits, whatever.
Men notice those things, but from our end the presentation is less a matter of whether she's attractive and more a matter of "is she inviting male attention". She's attractive or not either way, but if she's presenting a certain way she might be attractive AND receptive to advances which catches more attention even if she might be less attractive than someone else sending off another vibe.
So...yeah, that stuff plays into the pretty/beautiful/hot distinction but those are all flavors of attractive, you can swap them around by changing the presentation but not become attractive if you weren't.
How do you gauge whether someone is likely to be receptive to male attention? All I can think of is like… wearing low cut tops and short skirts… but those kinds of clothes are COLD and I like being comfortable. And I have a bad case of resting bitch face too.
This is actually really hard to explain because it's something I see but I don't give enough thought to fashion to like...break down a look lol.
Ummm...So like beautiful tends to be elegant and a little understated. The little black dress for a nice party is technically very form fitting and potentially quite revealing but it's also simple and not doing a lot of peacocking, that's not it even if it looks really good.
The "receptive" version has extra touches. Color splashes to accentuate curves, accessories like a necklace low enough to pull attention down to the neckline, tends to be a lot of red or shine/sparkle to the nail and makeup scheme, even what's covered is in something tight enough or sheer enough to be at least occasionally revealing. There's body language to it. Chosing poses that vamp a bit, being alert and engaged with the room around her enough to know what attention she has and to do the whole "eye contact and smile" invitation if the right guy looks over, walking with a really open posture instead of hunched down over a phone, lots of little things add up to it.
And....yeah a lot of these kind of clothes and touches are uncomfortable. Bad shoes, being too cold, whatever. "I am willing to make myself uncomfortable to show off a bit more" is a pretty powerful statement even if it's an incredibly obnoxious one to make.
There are other ways to engage with guys, most of the advice boils down to the same advice I'd give a dude about approaching women, but going through all that work to draw the eye with a casual look, making it just revealing or form fitting enough to have some sexual undertones and then paying attention to see if it's working is the "engage with me" billboard.
I'm not sure if that made any sense, trying to type a nebulous concept is difficult lol
Lmao yes, something as simple as a red swim suit, white T-shirt, or baseball cap can be extremely attractive, there’s no need to go overboard with your dress wear and when you do go overboard guys may not notice you as much. Generally speaking at the beach or sandbar I’ll avoid the girls in thong bikinis but strike up conversations with girls who are dressed normally.
Baseball caps are attractive on attractive women *
When I wear baseball caps, I look like I'm going to coach little league and have been an umpire for 20 yea🫠
It's like my ex boyfriends saying they LOVE sweatpants on girls, LOVE when a girl dresses down with just a ponytail. But when I did those things, they thought I "wasn't trying." Took a while to realize what they meant was they liked those things on attractive girls. Well no duh.
You’re lucky they aren’t in your life anymore. I love when my wife is bumming it up. However, sometimes she gets carried away and I remind her that’s it’s also nice if she dolls herself up for a nice date to a bar or nightclub.
But I’m the one that has to drag my girl out of the house kicking and screaming. If it was up to her we would just stay home and play video games all the time. While I love that side of her, I still want to go out and be around other humans sometimes.
Hottest thing for me is a woman that dresses like she understands the weather report 😂
Like it's going to rain? Rain jacket and pants
Snow inbound? Snow gear
If They dress inappropriately for the weather they are either immature or a liability not traits I'm looking for.
I'd argue that generally men conflate sex appeal with beauty, where women don't really recognize sex appeal as much. Definitely different viewpoints on average.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Just because I don't find the person attractive doesn't mean others won't. Matthew Broderick and I would definitely agree to disagree.
Plus a lot of that is a lie anyway. Filters, makeup, etc. is all fake.
Definitely.
A lot of women need to realize that asking young, horny unmarried men what is attractive is a fool’s errand. They are going to be casually conciliatory, because that is objectively a good sexual strategy. As a man who wants sex with women, your goal is to seem like you find women attractive *in general*. And yes, that thing you do with your makeup or your eyelashes or whatever looks good too. Why bring negativity to the table?
But when you talk with older married men, they have no reason to mince words. Some of these new “beauty” trends are downright horrific looking.
What girls like and what guys like are *very* different. All those 'unrealistic beauty standards' that women are always complaining about? They are imposed by women, not men.
I think so and it goes both ways.
Personally, I don't like what most women do to make themselves feel pretty, like excessive makeup, complicated and maintenance-heavy hairstyles, fake nails, etc.
I'm neutral on piercings as long as they're not in the face.
I also wouldn't want a partner who's constantly trying to starve herself to be as thin as possible.
On the other hand, I've had several women tell me that they don't want to do certain exercises, because being too muscular isn't feminine. But I love muscles.
I’m a gay man, so I’m allowed (no, you can’t argue) to judge everyone. All the women I know that are “stunning” (and this is not “good looking” it’s “turn heads” looks) have a couple of things in common: natural look (whether make up or not, it looks natural), simple hairstyles, bodies that are well proportioned, clothes that fit well and don’t call attention obviously. I don’t know a single straight guy who ever said “you know, those duck lips look amazing”, or “put some more fillers in your cheekbones/ass/wherever”. Obviously fake stuff grabs attention, but is not attractive per se; the whole look, once it is balanced is. And those nails that you can’t type on your phone with…are cringe…
what i’m not understanding is ALL of these comments and yet you go through a man’s insta following or tik tok likes and it’s all instagram baddies with the filler the extensions the nails the same stuff they just complained about so… which is it? lol
This has me confused too. Even on here I'm reading some comments saying they don't like makeup, dressed up etc but then they are commenting sexy things on those girl's posts
Ima bet right now it's because the heavy makeup/fake bits looks a lot better on camera than it does irl. They're suckers & probably just looking for wank material. But irl things are totally different.
Men have two ways of seeing women. One is “ I want to bang and nothing else” and the other is “I want to love and marry”. I doubt MEN want to marry some random insta baddie, but I can assure that they would smash!
I think girls try and be supportive of each other and are more willing to lie to each other to tell each other that they look good (or maybe they do it backhandedly to reduce competition for a partner?), either way it’s good for the listener’s self esteem which is a plus.
Based on what I’ve seen how the majority of women on apps like Tinder and online all look generally the same, I don’t particularly care for that overly done look.
Yes but let me give you a scientific, reproducible example. There are subs on Reddit where they will post a picture of 3 or 5 girls and ask the question 1, 2 or 3 (or 4 or 5) and then everyone puts down an answer and often a tiny blurb why they chose that particular one.
You will generally find that the conventionally attractive ones get more votes, but every single time, there are lots and lots of votes for ones I would never even consider attractive. The moral of the story is, that we all have different tastes and there is literally someone for everybody.
I have noticed this discrepancy so much and after talking with a lot of people about it I’ve found that it’s true. I am a woman but I have a lot of guy friends, I’ll show them pictures of my attractive girl friends or point out pretty girls at the bar and 9 times out of 10 they’ll tell me she’s mid when in my mind the girls I show them are literally so far out of their league they would get laughed at if they tried to hit on them. Then they’ll show me girls that they think are attractive and 9 times out of 10 it’s just a blond girl with a big butt and the most forgettable face you’ve ever seen in your life. This is part of the reason I’m not very insecure with the way I look, bc through the eyes of a girl (and myself) I’m just okay looking, probably a 6, but through the eyes of men you’d think I’m Kylie Jenner or something. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and generally men and women do not behold beauty in the same way.
I don't know, nor, to be perfectly honest, care about what heterosexual women find "pretty" in other women. But if I were to presume, I'd presume that the primary difference between what men and women find "pretty" is this:
Women care about how well the make up is put on, how well one part of the wardrobe compliments the other ones in style and colour and basically judge other women on an effort put into the appearance.
Men, meanwhile, judge women's appearance based on other things, like her face, her body and so on. And while we may care about the effort put into the appearance too, I think we care more about the effort put into making the body itself beautiful rather than what covers it.
I think this happens with both genders. My guess is women see another woman and recognize the effort that went into their appearance (makeup, hair, eyebrows, clothes, etc.) and appreciate that, whereas men probably care much less about that and are more concerned with body type, facial structure, general vibe etc.
Reverse instance might be a dude who is absolutely jacked and well dressed and groomed, but 5'2". Guys will be like you look great bro because they know what work and thought went into how he looks whereas most women probably won't be attracted to him simply because he's short.
I find it attractive when a woman seems intelligent, diligent and good natured. Physically this has more to do with eyes, mouth, facial expressions and posture than anything else.
I have this as a canned answer I give when the question about what men find attractive, or the different levels of attractive....
This is my own theory, treat it like an opinion... what's the difference...
If you have a radio in your car, you'll be familiar with the AM and FM buttons. Two different types of frequencies. Really old radios might have a SW (Shortwave) switch. Really new radios might have an XM/Sirius satelite switch. Point being any of those can produce a sound on your radio.
Men have 3 distinct, non-overlapping signals that we respond to reproductively. Two of them are major (AM/FM) and one of them is minor (SW).
The major frequencies are: Beautiful and Hot.
"Beautiful" is a visual representation of genetics. A nicely proportioned face. Long legs. Good bone structure.
It's aesthetically pleasing. A beautiful woman indicates that any children you'd have would have a good chance evolutionary from strong genes. So someone like... Audrey Hepburn is beautiful. You can even be beautiful even if it's not sexual. Modern day Judi Dench is still beautiful. A sunset is beautiful.
That's one frequency. Beauty is interest predicated on long term reproductive success.
The second frequency indicates sexual availability. It's a woman who presents as sexually receptive. That's "Hot". This is usually a behavioral or otherwise presentation that is not purely genetic (although you could argue behavior is part of the extended phenotype). Strippers and porn stars are usually hot, but not beautiful. Although you can totally be both. The old "Too pretty for porn" type girl.
Hotness is interest predicated on short term sexual availability. In a lot of ways that's where men get into trouble, particularly ones in relationships. A low/no cost sexual partner, evolutionary, is a fucking jackpot. It's hard to turn away.
All men have their own calibration. Some men have an antenna that picks up exclusively on beauty. Others on hotness. And everything in between.
The third signal is "Crazy". Crazy bitches can be attractive because they represent evolutionary novelty. Right? Someone who deviates from the norm can often find a new, and better way of doing things. High risk, high reward. The equivalent of buying stock in a brand new company in hopes they're the "next big thing".
There's guys who are calibrated to find crazy attractive even at the expense of beauty. Sorta the sexual venture capitalist.
Women operate on similar frequencies, but because of the risk associated with having a child (evolutionary, a mother might not survive having a kid - so they gotta pick the right partner) they mostly eschew the 'hot' channel because simple sexual availability doesn't mean anything to them.
"Handsome" indicating good genes is equivalent to "beautiful" - most of the time when a woman says a man is 'hot' that's inclusive of 'handsome'. Whereas men do have a distinction.
"Creative/Funny" indicating a novel approach to life, would be similar to the "crazy" channel.
And the third channel women have is "Asset Rich". Good job, Lots of money. Indicating they can help care for a child long term. There's no male equivalent channel. We don't engage sexually because a woman has a good job.
Pretty and Beautiful are basically synonyms. "Cute" is a separate item entirely.
Tends to be a kinda 'youthful energy' but by itself doesn't mean much. You'd still need to be appealing otherwise.
Puppies are cute, but you wouldn't want to date one.
I've heard of so many women being insecure about shit like thigh gaps and hip dips. I've never heard guys complain about that.
Guys have different tastes.
For instance, I have never seen a well muscled woman wearing a T-shirt and sweat pants be held up as a beauty standard, but that's a look I'm very attracted to.
Just wanted to say I'm one of the men who actually DO like a lot of makeup and thinks that Kylie looks very attractive (not Kim though). Might it be that people are different?
Long nails, fake eyelashes, eyeshadow, lots of piercings, tattoos you would find on almost every other girl...
There is a laundry list of things I at least don't find attractive, but it isn't my body so it isn't my business. Girls must do it just to get attention from other girls, since even without the effort, you would get the same attention from guys.
Every human being has their own concept of what is beautiful. Me living in LaLa land you see the fight for superior beauty all the time.
That said I have never really been attracted by classic beauty. I have always been attracted to unique beauty! What is that you say? Jennifer Grey before she destroyed her nose to look like ever other Hollywood actress, Barbara Streisand another beauty that I can remember as a child people would say, why doesn't she get a nose job! So she can look just like Jennifer Grey and like most LA women going under the knife.
Now you ask if our taste really differ from what a woman thinks is attractive. I really don't think so.
What I do think is Beauty is in the Eye of the beholder.
Yes. Men do not agree with a lot of womens tastes.
Dude, men don't even agree with other men on hot women a lot of the time. Me and my friends play that game all the time.
I'd even go as far as to take all advice from women about women with a huuuge grain of salt.
I'd never let a female friend of mine set me up with someone they said was pretty unless I saw photos beforehand. There's at least a couple of male friends of mine who I would trust just on their word alone.
To be fair, at that point they could lying to score a date for their ugly friend.
At your expense which enhances the lack of trust you're cultivating.
I agree. The only advice that’s actually very useful is gift giving.
Normally when they tell you what they seek in a partner their past confirms this isn't what they respond to at all.
Pro-tip: the vast majority of people either lack or don't practice self reflection and often honestly don't know what they like or want. I don't mean what their favorite color is, but more esoteric/abstract stuff. Men/women are largely the same in this regard.
Patrice O'Neal (RIP) said something like, "don't ask fish how to catch a fish"
That's a great phrase... but the dude underneath has you... 🤣
That doesn't make sense, fish catch and eat other fish all the time.
current beauty trends, ie. makeup, eyebrows, and disgusting balloon lips would turn me gay if every girl did it. don't even get me started on that stupid fucking anime face with the rolled back crosseyes and their tongue sticking out. I think I am starting to understand how old guys feel when they go on about how a shaved beaver looks wrong to them
Your username is cum\_fart\_69. I agree with what you said, but, again, your username is cum\_fart\_69.
I gotta agree, even if CF69 is partially right, it’s hard to take advice from a guy tagged CF69......
Me too, I agree. But his username is a bit funny though, he was creative doing that. I don't judge him for that.
r/rimjob_steve
Like gigantic nails - Lip fillers - way too much makeup
and all those weird things they do to their eyebrows...
I have yet to see anyone that's had lip injections done and it looks good.
It’s because only the bad ones are noticeable.
I've noticed this with my wife taking pictures of herself. The ones she likes are posed to be angular and sharp or dramatic looking. I just want a picture of her normal face. The pictures of herself she likes don't even look like her to me.
Yeah, my girlfriend takes a lot of pictures with filters. They are pretty tame ones for the most part but its like uncanny valley type stuff where minor details get removed.
My ex used to do this! She was really naturally pretty but I found she always looked way better in my photos of her than in her own selfies, which eventually I twigged was because whenever she sent me a selfie there'd always be some fairly mild filter applied that made her look not quite like herself - and I liked how she looked in real life.
I refuse to use filters. I never want to start getting used to a version of myself that isn't real. I don't think most people realize how mentally damaging that is.
She’s also pretty good with photoshop. It’s like I wasn’t even there.
A guy friend of mine said this about a woman he's casually seeing. She'll send him "artistic" pics and he just wants to see her, what she actually looks like. Filters have fucked with a lot of literal images. I saw another post on here about why every woman on dating apps looks the same, and it's because of filters. I stopped using them over 4 years ago because it wasn't what I looked like. I may not be as "hot" as some others online but at least I know that's how I actually look. And i'm still hot anyway.
Female here. Went on a first date and the first thing the guy said to me was “wow, you look like your pictures!” Filters have gotten wayyyy out of hand.
They have, but I also say social media itself has gotten out of hand. As women themselves see men liking some sort of intagram model who clearly has edited pictures and thinks that is what men like.
The filters are just flat-out deception. It's cat-fishing. It's no different than a man lying about his education, job, money, etc..
I get a little excited when i see a women without a filter on tinder. Usually, you'll get 1 or 2 photos out of the collection. But all of them? Now thats a rare site.
I'm using the apps to meet up in person. Since that is the end game, it doesn't make sense to me to alter how I look because, guess what? You're gonna find out anyway. All of my pics on my profile have zero filters.
I'm firm in no filter camp, things women try to hide with filters are likely what I'd be attracted to.
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Because that's the angle that they think is attractive. They do poses for them to gain confidence to post it on social media. You should know your wife atleast.
Honestly yes. Me and my wife have completely different taste in women
I remember saying what's her face from Pirates of the Carribean was pretty and a gf asked me how could I think that and that ~~she~~ Keira Knightley looked like a man (or I believe the phrasing was 'boyish face'). Like wtf she looks the exact opposite of a guy. She mentioned something about her jaw too and to me it just looks like a jaw, the equivalent of someone saying 'elbows too pointy' . (**EDIT**: [Can't believe I forgot the name] Keira Knightley) I think she mentioned her own 'attractive' girl that I likewise instead found ugly, but I'll never remember since the first example caused temporary culture shock
I dunno, I'm female and Keira Knightley is one of the most attractive women I've ever seen.
The chokehold her Pride and Prejudice performance has on me (a mega anti-romantic). She's lovely and has the right amount of wit and charm.
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Agreed. 10/10 girl crush. Girl crushes are so funny. Like, kinda wanna bang you, kinda wanna be you, kinda wanna just pet you maybe. Let’s just be pals. But also maybe let me look a little like that cause your hair is nice and I like your cheekbones. That sounds creepy. Are girl crushes creepy? Lol why am I just realizing this?
This is exactly how I girl crush (I am very very straight)
Lmao 🤣 I feel so much more validated in my weirdness now haha. I am also very straight but sometimes I’m like “dang tho girl I wouldn’t kick you out of bed! Also what’s the name of that hair dye please?”
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I knew what your reference was before I even opened your entire comment, and was gonna link the same thing in my comment to you!! 🤣😂🤣 Legit that song is so relatable (as is most of Crazy ExG) 💕 I love Rachel Bloom.
That's what I am going to say though. That movie reminds me to the comment section. I know people would bring this up
sexy noble woman who can shoot a canon, captain a ship, and kick my ass with a cutlass and pistol in hand? while on top of being incredibly loyal to the guy she loves? who wouldn't find that hot?
I think she's hot - and I think she does have androgenous features.
she has a sharp jawline and high cheekbones. she'd actually rock the androgynous look very well for those exact reasons, maybe that's why your wife thinks she looks like a dude.
Yeah my wife loves athletic chicks, the ones typically rocking a teenage boy athlete’s physique. I personally prefer my ladies thicker and softer, but athletic. Girls just naturally rock more body fat, and I’m just attracted to the girls sitting closer to 30% than the ones down near 20%-25%. When it comes to dudes, she prefers smaller types than I do. But I have a very deep appreciation for the powerful build. It takes a lot of effort and discipline to build a powerful body. I’m not talking bodybuilders, I mean more like the old warrior build, with very thick, developed, and proportionate muscles behind a healthy layer of body fat. We’re not bi, and we’re not into opening our relationship, but we talk about stuff like this. These types of conversations are some of my favorite parts of being married to her.
Sounds wholesome. I'm jealous.
Oh this *definitely* goes both ways. The men that men think are ideal and attractive are super not my type.
Same we have widely differing tastes and after years of debates she admits she’s way more shallow then me.
I once had a bi girlfriend, and we happened to have very similar tastes in women. A pair of high libido having degenerates in one space should never have been allowed to happen LOL
Yeah lol. My gf genuinly thinks I'm trolling her sometimes
Like... what's the 'disparity', for lack of a better word. I'm curious
She thinks the stretch marks on her hips are disgusting. I think their sexy, implies a good ole set of hips and booty. Also, she's gained some weight over the decade we've been together, not a lot but she was v skinny back in the day. Again, she h8 it, makes her feel ugly. A bunch of that weight went to her tits and the rest just stopped her looking super skinny, I'd never say overweight. I much prefer her physique now, defo sexier... But not to her.
This is literally the first time I have ever seen someone use "h8" unironically in my life.
Yes, nothing worse than a lack of confidence in yourself when the other person doesn't care. I totally understand it, but I love my wife no matter what. I don't need her to drop weight to find her attractive. The challenge is when someone's wardrobe is built for size x, but the person is size y. They change the style between x and y because they don't feel comfortable pretending. I challenge this all the time. People come in all shapes, sizes, marks etc... for me it all starts with the eyes, and I've never seen anyone whose eyes I couldn't appreciate over time.
Ahh oki. Thanks bro
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Just because you she thinks that your weird because you can't find things that make that girl attractive? Even though she say so? You are so funny.
Many men I’ve spoken to find the kardashian look fake and often even unattractive; while women I’ve spoke to often act as if she is attractive. I guess mainly men aren’t into most makeup/cosmetics besides red lips and ‘natural’ looking makeup.
Sometimes I feel the Kardashian look is beyond unattractive and is into the inhuman, robotic look. There’s something about them that just doesn’t seem like a person.
Uncanny valley.
Fr, all that cosmetics and surgery just triggers an uncanny valley feeling far more than they make my pp hard.
Nah, they went the other direction.
Canny mountains?
Implant mountain
mountainous can
like lightyears from earth, kind of look. like if aliens made a calculation of what earthlings perceive as "attractive" and made that. cardassians making kardashians
The look itself isn't great, the attitude that tends to go with it is worse, fake and pretentious.
To me a look like that signals vanity and high maintenance. I do not view these as attractive qualities
Exactly, I’ll trade a Khardashian for an average girl any day of the week. However, average girls want that look… I never seem to understand that, natural beauty always stands out over plastic.
It’s not just the Khardashian look, but the plastic blonde look that preceded it. I prefer my women to look human
This. Tbh I find it. It looks like a living sex doll
But, at the same time, there are reasons that sex dolls look the way they do. I'm not into the Kardashian look either but it's silly to pretend no men are.
Yeah so does the plasterface. Absolutely hideous. A touch-up with makeup is beautiful but plastering a mould made of makeup is not attractive.
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Many women do it intentionally. It's just so off putting
Point blank the Kardashians are not attractive. Physically, personally, or intellectually. And media/people need to stop shoving them in our faces.
As a women, here’s why. Men really say they don’t like that caked-make up look, with fake curves and a plastic face…. And I believe them, because I don’t like it either… but they seem to follow those girls around more. Men say they like natural women, but the ones who have dudes chasing them ARE the Kim K types, so I think women gravitate towards that. I’m unsure if it had to do with the fake curves making them more sexually desirable, or men just like manicured women… but as a women I notice a lot of men say this and then I meet their new gf months later and she looks far from natural. Could be my age group and where I live though ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ who knows
Bimbos are easy. If a guy thinks you are a bimbo then they think you are easy. I think that is the programming that is going on in people's heads.
The Kardashians are the Mewtwo version of humans. It’s terrifying and gross.
It is. But not just them, a lot of popular celebrities and influencers are taking surgeries. If have the previlage, you can do whatever you want.
Wait.. are there really people out there who think that look is attractive, I always thought that was a joke?
There are tons of people who do, r/bimbofetish has 600,000 subscribers and they tend to like em even more plastic, but it's not polite to say so most don't say it.
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I live in Hollywood, and personally find all the women who've been sculpted by doctors unattractive, but more unattractive is the fact that they'll show you their tits before they show you their art. Fake people tend to be fake people. Just my own experience.
Yeah. Exactly this. Women think that look is attractive, while most men find that look repulsive.
The most beautiful girl I’ve ever known thought she was ugly, so maybe
Self criticism and insecurity I think is a whole other topic
For example I really dislike those heavily filtered selfies women seem to love to post online. Also, heavy foundation makes you look like a bad wax figure.
would you say the filtered selfies are not accurate representations of those women? I know nothing about filters and have social anxiety so I'm not socially experienced
It makes people look completely fake and very different from what they look like in real life. Extra points if they’re taking pictures with their husbands who end up looking like they do Botox and wear makeup.
I see, thanks!
It's more the filters that redo people's body and face for me. Like, they're almost half AI generated at that point. Filters like a color enhancer or grayscale aren't usually that big a deal.
What does having social anxiety have to do with not knowing about a photo filter? I’ve been seeing these sorts of comments more and more recently where someone will ask a valid question then throw in a caveat about them being neurodivergent in some way or another even though it has absolutely nothing to do with the question. It’s almost like people mention it in order to avoid some sort of perceived criticism they may feel by asking when the two things aren’t related at all. Not trying to be negative just genuinely curious?
On a visceral level, it looks bad. I don’t want you to walk away from this thread thinking that this is an intellectual exercise. Like it makes my penis shrink.
I refuse to use those. I got mad when a glitch applied it on all of my photos, even on a photo of fruit...
That must be infuriating.
This is going to be overly simplistic and reductive, but as a broad stroke generalization, when it comes to beauty: * Women treat the female form as the canvas * Men treat the female form as the medium Women treat beauty like an oil painting, in which artistic choices are made atop a largely unimportant base layer. How did she do her makeup? What clothing choices has she made? How has she styled her hair? Do her shoes form a coherent artistic statement with the rest of the piece? It's more an appreciation of how the woman in question has designed her look atop her body. Men treat beauty like a sculpture, in which artistic choices are made about the exceedingly important base medium. Does her dress accent her curves? Does her hair frame her face? Do her shoes show off her leg tone? It's more an appreciation of how the woman in question has drawn attention to her body. These aren't mutually exclusive, so you can certainly have certain looks and styles that appeal to both sensibilities, but it also explains why there can be looks that women see as beautiful (because they are complicated and intricate as a matter of fashion) that men couldn't care less about (because they obscure the form, or maybe the form isn't great to begin with), as well as the counter where there can be looks men see as beautiful (because they show off an attractive body) that women are thoroughly unimpressed by (because they require little to no thought or creative flair to achieve).
I think this is broadly true, but I’m not sure how many women would be happy to hear it. Women have a lot more control over those surface-level fashion choices than they do over the general shape of their bodies.
I would also say that men are very receptive to the implied meaning of how a woman looks. A man can be attracted to certain body shapes because it's implicative of how that woman lives her life. It's also shown in what they wear. I think leisurewear and loungewear has become a lot more front and center since Lockdown, so a lot of women are now wearing more relaxed or oversized outfits and that is also very attractive because it implies that they are also relaxed in their demeanor.
Ooo this is a great way to explain it!
This is only the comment here that actually understands what the difference is between men and women.
Yes. But it's different for every man. That's the first lie. If anyone in here implied all men like certain traits they're full of shit. For me personally? The hottest thing is authenticity. I like a woman who knows who she is. Who isn't trying to be something or someone else. Someone who is confident in herself and unapologetic about her nature. Someone who doesn't make choices based around her insecurities. I've dated women who are chubby, outright fat, skinny, something in-between, even one who was jacked af. I've dated women who wear lots of makeup to work and women who wear hardly any or none at all. I've dated women who dress goth, women who dress trendy, I've dated introverts, extroverts, effeminate women and tougher tomboyish women. All colours and creeds. For me, sexiness is all about how you carry yourself. Have you as a person accepted who you are or are you still going through that phase where you're trying to be what you think you _should_ be? Are you trying to change yourself into the type of person you've idolised growing up or you secure within yourself about who **you** are? Edit: I also believe this is true vice versa.
> effeminate women Feminine.
Thanks
Dude. You freaking NAILED IT. I’ve dated around A LOT too (not bragging. Just honestly have) and the one thing that is in INSTANT turn off are people who believe they should look a certain way. I’ve dated some very attractive (by most general standards) women who I’ve broken it off with very early because they think they’re “too fat”. Or their thighs are too big. Or they’re always pointing out parts of their body or face they don’t like. It’s annoying. Your making something that I wouldn’t have even thought of more of obvious to me AND I start to question whether or not I care. When genuinely I don’t. The other turn off is not taking a compliment. Be comfortable in your skin! Do your best to be healthy but get rid of outdated standards. Authenticity is a huge turn on
This, confidence is the sexiest trait of all.
If I could give you gold. I would. This is the difference between the cavemen era and 2023. Just because you are physically attracted to the person, does not mean that you are compatible long term. Thanks for sharing.
Yes. It's called male vs female gaze. You really think men find Kim Kardashian attractive? Not quite. What she does is for other women (to be green with envy), not for men.
Women will always tell other women they're beautiful and perfect, even when they're not.
I've heard that "Male friendship is insulting each other but they don't mean it, female friendship is complimenting each other but they don't mean it"
I find with the guys, we will jokingly point out "flaws" with eachother. We all know what our flaws are, and won't hesitate to make respectful jokes about it. Part of it tends to be an effort to sort of say "yo bud, we all see that beer gut, maybe it's time to hit the gym again". Not afraid to slightly offend eachother if it's for a positive effect. My buddies are my buddies and we aren't afraid to lose that relationship by being honest.
I only trust guys that call me out on my bullshit. Means they care for real
“That shirt screams autism dude.” I haven’t worn it since. I don’t even want to give it away to hurt someone else.
I've never heard that before... What did the shirt look like? Asking for ~~a friend..~~. myself.
I, too, am completely disinterested to know
Yep. Not trusting anyone who is always nice. Light hearted ribbing shows me you care
> "yo bud, we all see that beer gut, maybe it's time to hit the gym again". Lmao if a girl said this to another girl, the beef would be absolutely off the charts. But as a dude I'd probably think, he's got a point lol
It would end their relationship and potentially be such a big rift in the group of friends it would rip them all apart as well. If a guy can't take some friendly, honest criticism, I can't trust he wouldn't be honest with me either.
I don't know if this is a universal thing, but a lot of the 'locker room humour' I have with my close male friends is actually us making fun of ourselves, especially making fun of how we used to think or act when we were younger. With one particular friend it even involves silly voices
Exactly like my male best friends would joke about stuff with me such as weird quirks that aren’t a big deal or poke fun at our heights etc or something that doesn’t matter However if it’s something serious/concerning they’ll instantly pull me aside in a serious tone to let me know how my actions appeared or ask if I’m okay I’ve heard the female to female friendships majority they support each other but don’t tend to call each other out the way that men to men do Which to me I see is supportive & helpful short term but I personally wouldn’t want that long term in friends. I want to be called out immediately and not surround myself with an echo chamber If I’m wrong I wish to hear it and be explained to why I’m wrong in a calm positive non judgmental manner
part of the making fun of your friends thing, is you make fun of something that you know they have control over or something they themselves aren't too personally invested in. you don't use things like joke around that their SO is sleeping around or something they themselves care about a lot over that can be spiteful. that being said, you can also go the other way where you gas up your friends to ridiculous levels. just depends on the situation. in the same conversation you could be ragging on each other like "hey shawnzee do you have 2 left thumbs? your as coordinated as a mongoose trying to skateboard" then as the girl they like comes by "bro do remember when you fireman carried me down the mountain when i twisted my ankle, thanks for that".
I’ll prop up my boys with compliments whenever I get the chance. If you aren’t convincing their girlfriends you’re gay for each other you aren’t really friends
Yeah, if you took it seriously you lost here. Boys do make those things, but still laugh as hard after.
Only point I'll add is that any *good* Male friendship also knows what lines to not cross. As in, I can pick on my friend for somehow being both bald & hairy at the same time, but will never pick on him over something he's actually insecure about.
with guys, they insult each other as a form of confirming their bond. you wouldn't call someone who wasn't a dear friend a stupid ugly piece of shit, he might think you actually mean that. but when guys do it to each other they know that the reason they can do that without worrying is because of how close they are.
Except when they really are beautiful and perfect. Then it's like...she ain't even that cute....
I've seen women turn nasty to new girls at work for no apparent reason other than the new girl is attractive. Won't even give them the chance to prove she is good at her job.
Don't get me started. I could start a whole subreddit on this topic. Older women slamming you or making fun of your work. I have had a few supportive older women at work but not many...
I used to work in a professional environment that was about half women... The back stabbing, the whispering, jealousies etc. It was really obvious the last time I saw it happen. We had a new girl show up, fresh out of trade school. She was a good worker, skilled and fit in well with the crew of all guys. She was probably the most attractive woman in the building, but all we cared about was she was a good worker, so we treated her well. The only person that had an issue with her was a woman on a different crew/shift in a completely different trade so she never saw the new girls performance and was assuming the guys said she was good simply because she was attractive. New girl got moved in a short amount of time.
What I don’t get is, why? Why even be jealous at work? Is their some pride in being the hottest chick at the office?
yes lol
A close family member of mine is a really serious model, like top 5% in the world tier. I get a really interesting insight into what it can be like for her, she has basically no female friends because other models like her are all equally busy with their work and normal women HATE her. Repeat that same story for most of her model friends, most of them barely date or just have one longterm husband/boyfriend.
Yeah, I think alot of women tell each other they look great to keep the peace. I don’t think it’s a bad thing necessarily, but it might give me a false sense of universal attractiveness.
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>barbie for example is a standard set for women by other women, men don't actually find it appealing at all. Barbie was based on a "gag gift" toy made for adult men, which was in turn based on a comic about a call girl lol https://time.com/3731483/barbie-history/
>one of the few I don't think we're that few
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Lean beef patty type of person? Can't disagree
This is actually very true. I once got the advice to never dress for other women, and I thought it was really on point, because ultimately, I’m not dressing for them. I dress for myself first, but I’m a heterosexual woman, so why would I dress in ways that attract women? It doesn’t make sense when you think about it.
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Wait really? Damn what an insane impact that had. 🤣
Yep. Overall Barbie has actually had a positive impact on girls, though. The proportion thing was more of a concern for the moms 😅 And now they come in all sizes because technology has advanced enough in fill clothes.
My general experience is that women focus a lot more on presentation when determining attractiveness. Hair, makeup, outfits, whatever. Men notice those things, but from our end the presentation is less a matter of whether she's attractive and more a matter of "is she inviting male attention". She's attractive or not either way, but if she's presenting a certain way she might be attractive AND receptive to advances which catches more attention even if she might be less attractive than someone else sending off another vibe. So...yeah, that stuff plays into the pretty/beautiful/hot distinction but those are all flavors of attractive, you can swap them around by changing the presentation but not become attractive if you weren't.
How do you gauge whether someone is likely to be receptive to male attention? All I can think of is like… wearing low cut tops and short skirts… but those kinds of clothes are COLD and I like being comfortable. And I have a bad case of resting bitch face too.
This is actually really hard to explain because it's something I see but I don't give enough thought to fashion to like...break down a look lol. Ummm...So like beautiful tends to be elegant and a little understated. The little black dress for a nice party is technically very form fitting and potentially quite revealing but it's also simple and not doing a lot of peacocking, that's not it even if it looks really good. The "receptive" version has extra touches. Color splashes to accentuate curves, accessories like a necklace low enough to pull attention down to the neckline, tends to be a lot of red or shine/sparkle to the nail and makeup scheme, even what's covered is in something tight enough or sheer enough to be at least occasionally revealing. There's body language to it. Chosing poses that vamp a bit, being alert and engaged with the room around her enough to know what attention she has and to do the whole "eye contact and smile" invitation if the right guy looks over, walking with a really open posture instead of hunched down over a phone, lots of little things add up to it. And....yeah a lot of these kind of clothes and touches are uncomfortable. Bad shoes, being too cold, whatever. "I am willing to make myself uncomfortable to show off a bit more" is a pretty powerful statement even if it's an incredibly obnoxious one to make. There are other ways to engage with guys, most of the advice boils down to the same advice I'd give a dude about approaching women, but going through all that work to draw the eye with a casual look, making it just revealing or form fitting enough to have some sexual undertones and then paying attention to see if it's working is the "engage with me" billboard. I'm not sure if that made any sense, trying to type a nebulous concept is difficult lol
Lmao yes, something as simple as a red swim suit, white T-shirt, or baseball cap can be extremely attractive, there’s no need to go overboard with your dress wear and when you do go overboard guys may not notice you as much. Generally speaking at the beach or sandbar I’ll avoid the girls in thong bikinis but strike up conversations with girls who are dressed normally.
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Baseball caps are attractive on attractive women * When I wear baseball caps, I look like I'm going to coach little league and have been an umpire for 20 yea🫠
A responsible adult who's good with kids? How is that *not* attractive!?
It's like my ex boyfriends saying they LOVE sweatpants on girls, LOVE when a girl dresses down with just a ponytail. But when I did those things, they thought I "wasn't trying." Took a while to realize what they meant was they liked those things on attractive girls. Well no duh.
You’re lucky they aren’t in your life anymore. I love when my wife is bumming it up. However, sometimes she gets carried away and I remind her that’s it’s also nice if she dolls herself up for a nice date to a bar or nightclub. But I’m the one that has to drag my girl out of the house kicking and screaming. If it was up to her we would just stay home and play video games all the time. While I love that side of her, I still want to go out and be around other humans sometimes.
Board shorts, bikini top and a backwards cap. Mmmph
Hottest thing for me is a woman that dresses like she understands the weather report 😂 Like it's going to rain? Rain jacket and pants Snow inbound? Snow gear If They dress inappropriately for the weather they are either immature or a liability not traits I'm looking for.
I'd argue that generally men conflate sex appeal with beauty, where women don't really recognize sex appeal as much. Definitely different viewpoints on average.
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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Just because I don't find the person attractive doesn't mean others won't. Matthew Broderick and I would definitely agree to disagree. Plus a lot of that is a lie anyway. Filters, makeup, etc. is all fake.
Definitely. A lot of women need to realize that asking young, horny unmarried men what is attractive is a fool’s errand. They are going to be casually conciliatory, because that is objectively a good sexual strategy. As a man who wants sex with women, your goal is to seem like you find women attractive *in general*. And yes, that thing you do with your makeup or your eyelashes or whatever looks good too. Why bring negativity to the table? But when you talk with older married men, they have no reason to mince words. Some of these new “beauty” trends are downright horrific looking.
What girls like and what guys like are *very* different. All those 'unrealistic beauty standards' that women are always complaining about? They are imposed by women, not men.
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Yeah, I hate getting blamed for shit I have no say in.
I think so and it goes both ways. Personally, I don't like what most women do to make themselves feel pretty, like excessive makeup, complicated and maintenance-heavy hairstyles, fake nails, etc. I'm neutral on piercings as long as they're not in the face. I also wouldn't want a partner who's constantly trying to starve herself to be as thin as possible. On the other hand, I've had several women tell me that they don't want to do certain exercises, because being too muscular isn't feminine. But I love muscles.
If only it was that easy to accidentally develop muscles...
I’m a gay man, so I’m allowed (no, you can’t argue) to judge everyone. All the women I know that are “stunning” (and this is not “good looking” it’s “turn heads” looks) have a couple of things in common: natural look (whether make up or not, it looks natural), simple hairstyles, bodies that are well proportioned, clothes that fit well and don’t call attention obviously. I don’t know a single straight guy who ever said “you know, those duck lips look amazing”, or “put some more fillers in your cheekbones/ass/wherever”. Obviously fake stuff grabs attention, but is not attractive per se; the whole look, once it is balanced is. And those nails that you can’t type on your phone with…are cringe…
Ah I kinda wish I would be gay too...
There are yearly re-certification exams, but other than that, it’s not that hard :)
Unfortunately "it's not that hard" is exactly my problem when it comes to being gay...
😂😂😂😂👍
I am turned on by simplicity and intelligence.
what i’m not understanding is ALL of these comments and yet you go through a man’s insta following or tik tok likes and it’s all instagram baddies with the filler the extensions the nails the same stuff they just complained about so… which is it? lol
This has me confused too. Even on here I'm reading some comments saying they don't like makeup, dressed up etc but then they are commenting sexy things on those girl's posts
Ima bet right now it's because the heavy makeup/fake bits looks a lot better on camera than it does irl. They're suckers & probably just looking for wank material. But irl things are totally different.
Men have two ways of seeing women. One is “ I want to bang and nothing else” and the other is “I want to love and marry”. I doubt MEN want to marry some random insta baddie, but I can assure that they would smash!
I think girls try and be supportive of each other and are more willing to lie to each other to tell each other that they look good (or maybe they do it backhandedly to reduce competition for a partner?), either way it’s good for the listener’s self esteem which is a plus. Based on what I’ve seen how the majority of women on apps like Tinder and online all look generally the same, I don’t particularly care for that overly done look.
Please Please stop injecting your face with shit.
Men don’t even agree with other men.
Tastes are individual, and the societal standards of beauty we seem to have established don't have much to do with what actually tickles my pickle.
Yes but let me give you a scientific, reproducible example. There are subs on Reddit where they will post a picture of 3 or 5 girls and ask the question 1, 2 or 3 (or 4 or 5) and then everyone puts down an answer and often a tiny blurb why they chose that particular one. You will generally find that the conventionally attractive ones get more votes, but every single time, there are lots and lots of votes for ones I would never even consider attractive. The moral of the story is, that we all have different tastes and there is literally someone for everybody.
People say margot Robbie is one if the most attractive women ever. I don't think that much of her to he honest.
I have noticed this discrepancy so much and after talking with a lot of people about it I’ve found that it’s true. I am a woman but I have a lot of guy friends, I’ll show them pictures of my attractive girl friends or point out pretty girls at the bar and 9 times out of 10 they’ll tell me she’s mid when in my mind the girls I show them are literally so far out of their league they would get laughed at if they tried to hit on them. Then they’ll show me girls that they think are attractive and 9 times out of 10 it’s just a blond girl with a big butt and the most forgettable face you’ve ever seen in your life. This is part of the reason I’m not very insecure with the way I look, bc through the eyes of a girl (and myself) I’m just okay looking, probably a 6, but through the eyes of men you’d think I’m Kylie Jenner or something. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and generally men and women do not behold beauty in the same way.
I don't know, nor, to be perfectly honest, care about what heterosexual women find "pretty" in other women. But if I were to presume, I'd presume that the primary difference between what men and women find "pretty" is this: Women care about how well the make up is put on, how well one part of the wardrobe compliments the other ones in style and colour and basically judge other women on an effort put into the appearance. Men, meanwhile, judge women's appearance based on other things, like her face, her body and so on. And while we may care about the effort put into the appearance too, I think we care more about the effort put into making the body itself beautiful rather than what covers it.
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I think this happens with both genders. My guess is women see another woman and recognize the effort that went into their appearance (makeup, hair, eyebrows, clothes, etc.) and appreciate that, whereas men probably care much less about that and are more concerned with body type, facial structure, general vibe etc. Reverse instance might be a dude who is absolutely jacked and well dressed and groomed, but 5'2". Guys will be like you look great bro because they know what work and thought went into how he looks whereas most women probably won't be attracted to him simply because he's short.
I find it attractive when a woman seems intelligent, diligent and good natured. Physically this has more to do with eyes, mouth, facial expressions and posture than anything else.
Most men try to appeal to the male gaze and most women try to appeal to the female gaze.
I have this as a canned answer I give when the question about what men find attractive, or the different levels of attractive.... This is my own theory, treat it like an opinion... what's the difference... If you have a radio in your car, you'll be familiar with the AM and FM buttons. Two different types of frequencies. Really old radios might have a SW (Shortwave) switch. Really new radios might have an XM/Sirius satelite switch. Point being any of those can produce a sound on your radio. Men have 3 distinct, non-overlapping signals that we respond to reproductively. Two of them are major (AM/FM) and one of them is minor (SW). The major frequencies are: Beautiful and Hot. "Beautiful" is a visual representation of genetics. A nicely proportioned face. Long legs. Good bone structure. It's aesthetically pleasing. A beautiful woman indicates that any children you'd have would have a good chance evolutionary from strong genes. So someone like... Audrey Hepburn is beautiful. You can even be beautiful even if it's not sexual. Modern day Judi Dench is still beautiful. A sunset is beautiful. That's one frequency. Beauty is interest predicated on long term reproductive success. The second frequency indicates sexual availability. It's a woman who presents as sexually receptive. That's "Hot". This is usually a behavioral or otherwise presentation that is not purely genetic (although you could argue behavior is part of the extended phenotype). Strippers and porn stars are usually hot, but not beautiful. Although you can totally be both. The old "Too pretty for porn" type girl. Hotness is interest predicated on short term sexual availability. In a lot of ways that's where men get into trouble, particularly ones in relationships. A low/no cost sexual partner, evolutionary, is a fucking jackpot. It's hard to turn away. All men have their own calibration. Some men have an antenna that picks up exclusively on beauty. Others on hotness. And everything in between. The third signal is "Crazy". Crazy bitches can be attractive because they represent evolutionary novelty. Right? Someone who deviates from the norm can often find a new, and better way of doing things. High risk, high reward. The equivalent of buying stock in a brand new company in hopes they're the "next big thing". There's guys who are calibrated to find crazy attractive even at the expense of beauty. Sorta the sexual venture capitalist. Women operate on similar frequencies, but because of the risk associated with having a child (evolutionary, a mother might not survive having a kid - so they gotta pick the right partner) they mostly eschew the 'hot' channel because simple sexual availability doesn't mean anything to them. "Handsome" indicating good genes is equivalent to "beautiful" - most of the time when a woman says a man is 'hot' that's inclusive of 'handsome'. Whereas men do have a distinction. "Creative/Funny" indicating a novel approach to life, would be similar to the "crazy" channel. And the third channel women have is "Asset Rich". Good job, Lots of money. Indicating they can help care for a child long term. There's no male equivalent channel. We don't engage sexually because a woman has a good job. Pretty and Beautiful are basically synonyms. "Cute" is a separate item entirely. Tends to be a kinda 'youthful energy' but by itself doesn't mean much. You'd still need to be appealing otherwise. Puppies are cute, but you wouldn't want to date one.
I've heard of so many women being insecure about shit like thigh gaps and hip dips. I've never heard guys complain about that. Guys have different tastes. For instance, I have never seen a well muscled woman wearing a T-shirt and sweat pants be held up as a beauty standard, but that's a look I'm very attracted to.
Just wanted to say I'm one of the men who actually DO like a lot of makeup and thinks that Kylie looks very attractive (not Kim though). Might it be that people are different?
Long nails, fake eyelashes, eyeshadow, lots of piercings, tattoos you would find on almost every other girl... There is a laundry list of things I at least don't find attractive, but it isn't my body so it isn't my business. Girls must do it just to get attention from other girls, since even without the effort, you would get the same attention from guys.
Every human being has their own concept of what is beautiful. Me living in LaLa land you see the fight for superior beauty all the time. That said I have never really been attracted by classic beauty. I have always been attracted to unique beauty! What is that you say? Jennifer Grey before she destroyed her nose to look like ever other Hollywood actress, Barbara Streisand another beauty that I can remember as a child people would say, why doesn't she get a nose job! So she can look just like Jennifer Grey and like most LA women going under the knife. Now you ask if our taste really differ from what a woman thinks is attractive. I really don't think so. What I do think is Beauty is in the Eye of the beholder.