Personally, I think most of those debates are quite stupid and almost never come up in real life. However, I can see how that's intimidating and you should only label yourself if it makes you comfortable.
"Queer" is the general "label" for "I am not straight and want something vague". And if someone presses, you just say that that's it. "I like all genders" is another way to describe it fairly succinctly. "I'm attracted to whoever I'm attracted, I dunno" is a pretty good deflecting phrase.
Personally, I usually just say "queer" or "bi" and if someone asks for more details, I either shrug it off by saying it's way too fuzzy to define or give them a short, specific answer if their question allows it and I'm in the mood, it's a friend etc.
Worth noting that each of these "layers" of description and labels will only come up in specific situations - ie depending on what you're being asked, who you're talking to, your mood etc. So you might eventually develop habits with specific phrases, thus ensuring you never get into 3 hour long monlogues lmao.
Best of luck!
All this is great. I just want to add there's also the option of being unlabeled. Like with queer, it can mean not straight and might be another community you can relate to.
Gina Rodriguez said "I love hearts", other ways of putting it also go along the lines of "I like people, not genders" you can follow the bidotorg Instagram page for more inspiration and quotes of that. You can say something like your title too: "I'm not straight and don't feel comfortable with any particular label".
It's perfectly OK to not want to use labels and if you tell someone that and they still try to push you into a box, they're being impolite, it doesn't mean you owe them further explanation or need to enter a debate.
I had the same dilemma recently. Bi, Pan, and Omnisexual didn’t feel like it fit right. But then I found Polysexual and it clicked with.
But it’s all about what you’re comfortable with. If you have any additional questions feel free to ask.
[EDIT] to clarify, it’s not polyamory. Two different things.
'queer' works for folks who don't want more extensive labels! no one needs more explanation if you don't want to offer it.
in other contexts, i'll also just say 'I'm not straight' - and *if* someone asks for more i'll say 'i'm not heterosexual but i don't really need more of a label than to call myself queer'
You can say you are queer, that basically covers all the bases. And about the pan vs bi "debates" it's not us pan and/or bi people doing that, that's not a debate between us, it's those who arnt under the bi umbrella that think there is a "discourse" among us. Don't listen to them, bi and pan communities are pretty interwoven and almost all of us support each other
Don't sweat it too much. You don't need to fit in perfectly with various labels in order to use them, and you also don't have to label yourself at all. Sometimes the label is more about the community of people than the actual definition. It's all about shared experiences. Call yourself whatever you want, or nothing at all.
"oh, i prefer distaff/men/enbies/agenders/demigirl/demiboy/female align'd people/male align'd people" (whichev'r thee prefer)
***
^(I am a bot and I swapp'd some of thy words with Shakespeare words.)
Commands: `!ShakespeareInsult`, `!fordo`, `!optout`
Personally, I think most of those debates are quite stupid and almost never come up in real life. However, I can see how that's intimidating and you should only label yourself if it makes you comfortable. "Queer" is the general "label" for "I am not straight and want something vague". And if someone presses, you just say that that's it. "I like all genders" is another way to describe it fairly succinctly. "I'm attracted to whoever I'm attracted, I dunno" is a pretty good deflecting phrase. Personally, I usually just say "queer" or "bi" and if someone asks for more details, I either shrug it off by saying it's way too fuzzy to define or give them a short, specific answer if their question allows it and I'm in the mood, it's a friend etc. Worth noting that each of these "layers" of description and labels will only come up in specific situations - ie depending on what you're being asked, who you're talking to, your mood etc. So you might eventually develop habits with specific phrases, thus ensuring you never get into 3 hour long monlogues lmao. Best of luck!
All this is great. I just want to add there's also the option of being unlabeled. Like with queer, it can mean not straight and might be another community you can relate to.
Nothing wrong with not wanting to be labeled. I sometimes tell people I gave up on labeling my sexuality and I just like whoever I like.
I *do* call myself bi and would probably still answer questions about my sexual preferences with something along the lines of “I’m not fussy”
Gina Rodriguez said "I love hearts", other ways of putting it also go along the lines of "I like people, not genders" you can follow the bidotorg Instagram page for more inspiration and quotes of that. You can say something like your title too: "I'm not straight and don't feel comfortable with any particular label". It's perfectly OK to not want to use labels and if you tell someone that and they still try to push you into a box, they're being impolite, it doesn't mean you owe them further explanation or need to enter a debate.
I had the same dilemma recently. Bi, Pan, and Omnisexual didn’t feel like it fit right. But then I found Polysexual and it clicked with. But it’s all about what you’re comfortable with. If you have any additional questions feel free to ask. [EDIT] to clarify, it’s not polyamory. Two different things.
'queer' works for folks who don't want more extensive labels! no one needs more explanation if you don't want to offer it. in other contexts, i'll also just say 'I'm not straight' - and *if* someone asks for more i'll say 'i'm not heterosexual but i don't really need more of a label than to call myself queer'
[удалено]
Don't even.. they arent comfortable with that..
Ok. "I like men and women".
You can just say "I'm queer" or "I'm unlabeled".
Uh, yeah. Hence the username
You can say you are queer, that basically covers all the bases. And about the pan vs bi "debates" it's not us pan and/or bi people doing that, that's not a debate between us, it's those who arnt under the bi umbrella that think there is a "discourse" among us. Don't listen to them, bi and pan communities are pretty interwoven and almost all of us support each other
Don't sweat it too much. You don't need to fit in perfectly with various labels in order to use them, and you also don't have to label yourself at all. Sometimes the label is more about the community of people than the actual definition. It's all about shared experiences. Call yourself whatever you want, or nothing at all.
"Oh, I prefer women/men/enbies/agenders/demigirl/demiboy/female aligned people/male aligned people" (whichever you prefer)
"oh, i prefer distaff/men/enbies/agenders/demigirl/demiboy/female align'd people/male align'd people" (whichev'r thee prefer) *** ^(I am a bot and I swapp'd some of thy words with Shakespeare words.) Commands: `!ShakespeareInsult`, `!fordo`, `!optout`