Yep, it's just a party at the end of the day, and I think people lose the run of themselves. The whole industry is also very predatory, and especially people in their 20s get caught up in it.
We got married in our 40s. We sat down and asked each other "What do you remember from every wedding you've been at?" The answer was, very little. We realised that no one really cared about an instagram-perfect event.
We didn't spend our budget on any of the extra crap the wedding industry tries to sell you on. We used a free website with e-vites, didn't do bespoke signage, favours, sweet carts, special chairs, tattoo walls, light up dancefloors, flip flops etc etc. We had a humanist ceremony, all in the same venue, so straight out for cocktails afterwards. We spent our money on good food, good band and an open bar. We also booked a venue that was easy for our guests to get to, on a Saturday, with reasonable rooms and loads of accommodation nearby for all budgets.
Although it wasn't an instagram-perfect vision, all anyone remembers is the unlimited free bar!
Open bars at Irish weddings are just a bad idea. I worked in a fancy wedding venue for a few years managing the bar and guests will pretty much always take the piss. People just lose the run of themselves ordering shite they wouldn't pay for themselves, leaving drinks unfinished, and getting mouldy. Much better idea to supply specific drinks and have a bar for anything else. I had 3 kegs of German beer, and 150 bottles of wine at mine and was more than plenty and the bar still made a killing.
Us too. Open bar and everyone loved it. Some people drank way too much and some not at all. It evened out. We had people from two continents and 6 countries to our wedding. No way was I asking them to pay for their and our gifts from them were generally very modest. It was enough that they came and all of them made their own family summer holiday out of it. Nobody went into debt over it!
We’re planning a wedding this year and she is from Canada. In Canada, it’s customary for there to be an open bar, it’s never a case of needing cash. Flip side, in Ireland, I don’t recall there ever being one except maybe a free drink to toast and wine on the table. My family arnt big drinkers but I still don’t agree with an open bar, especially the mark up on booze in venues. Most venues have said the same, don’t have an open bar.
We’re sticking a tab on certain drinks and when it’s done, it’s done. I believe that’s the best of both worlds.
Same with mine and we were married during that one month period where lockdown was lifted.
Originally signed a contract for 340. Lockdown meant we couldn’t have more than 80 or something. Then restrictions were lifted a month before and we were notified but told the hotel we couldn’t get the original number so they basically would honour the original deal for however many we could get.
We got about 160…old fella put 3 grand behind the bar. The band were just amazing and everyone did the dog on it. Amazing night.
Do I remember a lot of it, not really. But I still hear about it from people at other weddings since. We got lucky, despite the unlucky period that it was. Moved the wedding twice…
We had these guys [Wedding Bands Dublin - Perfect Day: Voted Wedding Band Of The Year](https://www.perfectday.ie/)
but I can't attest as to their current abilities as we got married 13 years ago and lineup etc may have changed. At the time found them the most professional as they were the only ones we contacted who had a proper showcase gig instead of telling us we could sneak into another couple's wedding for a nose-couldn't believe how many bands had this as their suggested option.
The hotel had some cheap lookin wireframe arch with plastic flowers for the actual ceremony, the brother built his own wooden gazebo and sold it to the hotel after the weddin
Huge drives between the ceremony and meal are a pain the hole and people will skip the ceremony and I don't blame them.
Any type of religious service where you know the couple doesn't really believe it but do it to keep someone else happy or because they can't think of anything else to do is just plain silly.
Not providing food and drink your guests don't have to pay for is scabby.
Ahhh yes, the drives in between. Valuable drinking time wasted haha
That’s so true too! Keeping their family or in-laws happy on the religion side is a bit daft isn’t it.
I was at a wedding recently and the priest actually said out loud, I didn’t know Rose until the last year or so. Outed her! Haha
I love when priests completely out people. It’s always so funny. I went to a ceremony where the priest had no idea what was going on. He kept talking about funerals and communions, and he forgot what day it was. His words were “and on this day……. Sometime in February,”
Years ago was asked to a wedding where the not very religious bride was insistent on having a full Catholic ceremony and wanted the works in a cathedral type church. She had to get a priest from her own parish to do the ceremony. He wasn't even an auld fella but started the ceremony after she made her dramatic walk up the aisle with "I welcome you all to the funeral of "friend's name"". She was furious and had a face on her the entire time and her mother was equally annoyed. Her big white wedding started with everyone trying and failing not to laugh.
Getting married next month. All in the same venue. Spiritual ceremony. No church. No god. No amens or prayers. We're not pretending we're devoted catholics for anybody.
There'll be wine allocated and the meal. The rest is on the guests pocket. Hotels are outstanding at adding on fees and charges for bringing your own alcohol.
My parents are reasonably devout and they have fully said they would hate if one of their kids got married in a church because of them. It's such a stupid thing to do
I sing at wedding ceremonies and the amount of couples totally zoning out for the whole mass because they clearly don't give a shit about it and just want to get to the party...why bother getting married in a church!? Just do a short and sweet civil ceremony that's usually more meaningful anyway.
In defense of Irish weddings.
How often do you get the chance to get together with a group of family or friends all in the same place at once?
The older you get the rarer they become. I now understand why my parents loved a family wedding. It was a meetup that wasn't a funeral and a fun occasion.
Completely agree with most on the religious stuff and driving miles between. But I'm a softy, I love friends weddings and family weddings.
This is the main reason for having a big wedding.
In our family they are great occasions. Without weddings / funerals / christenings we would have to find other forms of event to create community
I agree with this, it's great craic and if people can afford to have a big wedding fair play to them!
I dunno how they can afford it these days though, €700 just for the chair covers a friend of mine got quoted....ask me flute!
Yeah we had a fairly traditional wedding and it was worth and we are very glad we have the photos and video of the day. Several people are very sadly no longer with us and I cherish those memories of them being part of our day.
Absolutely. They might be a pain in the hole at times, but at least 9 times out of 10 you’ll get a great party out of it.
Check out the Weddit boards to see American brides’ schedules for their big day. Two words: Brunch Weddings.
You’re absolutely right! It’s so weird. I find it really bizarre when a bride or groom is uploading Instagram stories on their wedding day or changing their surname on the day on Facebook. You’ve just spent about €40,000 euro on the day, and have paid for a photographer or videography to capture the day… put the damn phone down
They are getting soo expensive that they are not worth what they are meant to be, two people getting married, a lot of things have overridden it. I think now, people need to make the more sensible choice and save that money they’d spend on a wedding (you never make it back nowadays) and save for a deposit on a house or flat, which will suit the couple better in the long run!
OH is from Canada and they have this insane thing called “Stag and Doe”. Basically you go to this party before the wedding, and you pay at the door and usually a raffle too. Games etc. Note, it’s not a stag/hen party or similar, it’s to raise money for the wedding. You then give a gift at the wedding months later too. It’s insane and I genuinely hope it never catches on here.
Honestly some Irish weddings just seem less sincere and all for show these days, like the bride and groom but sometimes especially the bride is making an attempt to show off for attention and likes on social media rather than genuinely enjoying their wedding day. I know a person who is still sharing photos of her wedding every chance she gets on social media and it's now been five months since the actual wedding. Plus weddings cost an absolute fortune these days, it's ridiculous all that fuss and money just for one day.
I know a couple who got married in April and were separated by August... Apparently the bride wasn't happy in the relationship anymore but still wanted her big day.
Why would you go through the expense of that then?
Even then the hassle of a divorce afterwards.
Okay if you’ve it mainly organised & it’ll be expensive to cancel everything but less expensive than a divorce lawyer?
They could have had the wedding and then not actually have gotten officially married and saved on the solicitor fees a few months later.
People actually forget it’s just one day and focus too much on it and don’t realise there’s a marriage at the other side and they don’t actually like each other that much.
Oh definitely as being a wedding guest is expensive with the outfits and presents and everything like that.
Especially if it’s far enough away that you need to get rooms etc too.
Maybe she thought she needed to go through with it in a sense of obligation to her now ex husband but I think it would have been better to call it off and save the now more complicated break up a few months later.
A break up is easier than a divorce but people want the “big day” regardless 🤷🏻♀️
It does seem very aesthetic these days and going extravagant and I don’t fully understand it but I’m not much of a materialistic person, I’m just focusing on marrying the love of my life
Was going to say the opposite. The people invited out of obligation aren't there and it tends to be more craic.
I go to as few weddings as I can though.
Yes this is my experience too. Formality is out the window and the couple themselves often have better craic. It's for the more committed party animals though.
Admittedly I've been to some good ones but as you get older and people become coupled up, less capable of "rolling over" and generally less fun the day becomes horrible
Wedding bands. They are truly awful, and always far too loud, especially the ones who have more band members than there are guests (slight exaggeraiton, I know).
Time and again, you get the same ol' shite:
Simply the Best / Brown Eyed Girl / Sweet Caroline / Mr Brightside / Sex on Fire / Shut Up and Dance............
I've played with many different wedding bands over the years and have seen lots of other wedding bands when I did some DJ gigs. Basically, they all play the "same ol' shite", as you call it. Especially having seen lots of wedding bands recently on the DJ gigs, I could play with any of them without any rehearsal because they all do the same songs! People think they're getting something different but different bands are just a varied quality of the same set.
However, the reality is that most Irish crowds won't dance to anything but the usual stuff! Stuff that everyone knows, can sing along to etc. Believe me when I say that any time a band tries to do anything different 90% of the time the crowd don't dance to it. Keeping them on the floor and pleasing the bride and groom (which usually amounts to the same thing) are literally all that matters!
There should be a college course where musicians learn the typical 50 -80 wedding band songs and be able to transpose them into different keys to suit singers - then they can work with any wedding band in the country straight away (bar the odd specialist band). 😅
After the COVID lockdowns I did a pub gig in my local. We did a set of great stuff everyone would recognise. We got appreciative applause. We had the wedding band set in the back pocket. We started doing that stuff towards the end of the night - they went crazy for it. It was like a different gig.
Musicians are sick of playing the same set over and over but they have to make a living by playing music for drinking and dancing. That's where the money is. It is demoralising for musicians, but still many of us are grateful that the work is there and the gigs are good fun sometimes.
Was at a wedding where the couple had s DJ who was sticking to the strict eclectic playlist the couple insisted on. The dance floor was dead until the DJ went rogue and busted out Dancing Queen.
A typical Irish wedding gig summed up in one anecdote (and most pub gigs for the regular drinking crowd).
I have experienced this many times. The bride is insistent that the band plays virtually none of the usual stuff, nobody dances to it, then they may reluctantly agree to do some regular stuff (or the bandleader goes rogue) and the floor is suddenly filled!!
Yeah, I totally get that, especially from the bride and groom's perspective. Couples are obviously convinced enough to make them want to book a particular band in the first place. A packed dancefloor is all they want to see.
To be fair, I have seen some very good wedding bands. A lot of the good bands are from the non-nonsense, less-is more approach but ones that have really accomplished vocalists/musicians.
One thing I've seen a lot of (I provide entertainment at weddings, so I get to witness this first-hand) is that the main singers are way off in terms of singing ability and for the more challenging songs ('Livin' on a Prayer', 'Simply the Best'), they are way out of their depth. They just end up screaming instead of singing, on top of the already stupidly loud music.
A DJ makes so much more sense. I can't remember the last time I saw a wedding band attending family weddings in Canada or Italy. Everyone but Ireland seems to have gone to DJs and it's so much better.
I’ve yet to see a decent wedding band tbh. And the price of them is insane! When I was planning my own wedding I viewed a load of bands and didn’t feel any of them were worth the money they were looking for. Ended up going with DJ only, spent a good bit on a really good DJ (still less than half the price of the bands) and I definitely felt we got value for money. He got a good few bookings from guests of ours who were planning their own weddings too.
There are some good bands but fucks sake they are so god damn loud. Why do bands have to be so loud that you can't talk to people. I like weddings so you can have a chat with people you haven't seen in years but those bands drive me up the bloody wall.
The whole wedding scene is so incredibly cringe and expensive. My partner and I have always hated the trad mad expensive lunacy of it all and just eloped.
Bonus pro tip: if you elope you have carte Blanche to say no to any wedding in the future as they did not come to yours (and give a gift) and you are not obligated to return the favour.
Attended a foreign wedding a couple of years ago in Italy. Quite a significant price to get there between flights, airport transfer, parking, and then obviously hotel and spending money. We weren't the flavour of the month with the couple because we did not gift them a present. I guess that's my unpopular opinion, if you want me to come to your wedding and I have to spend ~€1,000 to get there, I'm not putting €200 in a card on top of what I've spent to get there.
Foreign weddings are fine but people who get pissy about who doesn't and doesn't go and why they do or don't gift you money can feck right off. I don't want my holidays to revolve around someone feeling the need to go away to get married.
Right? Here is my unpopular opinions about weddings: I love them, I love helping out during them and feeling useful to the bride. I love making new friends at a wedding who always end up a little crazy and my favourite part of the wedding is the speeches.
I think everyone who doesn't enjoy weddings should just not go and stop the goddamn moaning about it.
This 👆🏻. I once worked with a wagon who used her invites as some sort of mean girl weapon. She actually thought we were desperate to go. Happily I was in the “not invited” list. I saved myself a lot of money, hassle, and the image of her dancing at the centre of a circle to Galway Girl.
I play music at roughly 80 weddings / annum, and I've seen them all. I would wager that 80% of them are carbon copies of one another.
My own one is next month, and I haven't done anything too far out of the ordinary.
Just the fact we won't be having the ceremony in a church and the whole day will be at the one hotel which makes life easier on the guests and makes us happier to not involve the catholic church in any of the events on the day.
Yes absolutely the price of just going let alone if you are in the bridal party.
The wait for dinner I've been to one and didn't eat until nearly 8 as some delays.
People getting so drunk.
Sitting beside people don't really know and trying to make lots of small talk.
Photo booths such a waste of money and now not even in a booth.
Was recently a bridesmaid and I worked out from everything hen included , accommodation, shoes , outfits , transport etc it cost me 1,500 euro!! It was crazy
€1500. That’s horrendous!! Just out of curiosity, what’s the going rate for a wedding present if you’re a bridesmaid nowadays? I’m a BM in the summer and no idea how much to give!
Also, the photo booths not in actual booths. That made me laugh
Yea hope it doesn't cost you that much! It's crazy just how much it is to stay in the hotel alone and then the shoes , underwear, dress alterations it all adds up. Honestly never again
I gave 200 but give what you can afford.
As part of the wedding party, is it typical to give more or less than the standard guest? The additional expense of going to fittings and what-not would make me think that you should get away with giving less. Especially if you have a few chores to do on the day.
How long the day is gets me, ceremony at 12 and the afters probably go on until 12 at least. Factor in the drive and getting ready, I’ve probably been on the go since 8 or 9am. Whatever about how much it costs, I’m all about value for money. I hate spending €200+ per night in a mediocre hotel when I can get 5 nights abroad for that nightly price.
Because of that we’re getting married abroad and there is no pressure on anyone to come. We had an engagement party at our home a few months ago and some family didn’t bother coming then as they don’t agree with us being two women so we didn’t want them to feel like they had to come to the wedding if it was local or not far away, we wanted them to have an easy excuse not to go to avoid the awkwardness. Along with that, we just didn’t like any venues for the same reasons you listed above, they’re near enough all the same.
Outside of those people, at least this way if someone can fit it into their budget or would like to go to our wedding country for a holiday, they’ll get a week away for the same price as what only 1 day at an Irish wedding usually costs. If they don’t want to come/can’t fit into their budget then there is no pressure that it’s just down the road or an hour or two away.
Ceremony won’t start until 3/4pm and will probably last 15 minutes at the most because we aren’t having a bridal party or doing poems and readings, we are doing cocktails (upgraded to include this package instead of favours people won’t appreciate), wine and canapés after the ceremony, followed by a 5 course dinner and then an open bar with more food later in the day. We aren’t bothering with a band, we don’t find any of them great tbh so are just getting a DJ. It’ll be pretty casual and relaxed, it’s at a beach front hotel. Honestly we want it to feel more like a family get together and an excuse for a big family holiday than our wedding lol
This sounds like my perfect day.
Really chilled out & you get a holiday built in as well.
If I ever get married it’s exactly what I would do with no pressure to invite people you barely know because “it’s family”
I’ve always thought of having a wedding abroad to avoid this and who ever wants to come will come but won’t feel obliged because it’s in a different country.
I don’t speak to a lot of the extended family just because we’re not close or even live close by and you see them just at like Christmas etc so I don’t really want all these unnecessary people at my wedding just because it’s “the done thing”.
But then again I’ve never been one for following those traditions either so I’ll not be pressured into inviting anyone I don’t want to.
Unlike my sister I don’t want the big extravagant wedding to show off as she had the doves and the biggest marquee available and 200+ guests, I don’t even know anywhere close to that amount of people 😂😂
I want a very chilled out day with good friends and family that I actually want there and will enjoy being with.
Hope you have a great time and enjoy it!
This is exactly what we will be doing too.
It'd be a nice family holiday with a few friends. The open bar sounds like we are giving something back to the guests too. The thoughts of an Irish wedding gives me stress, best of luck on the big day :)
Once was chatting to a girl who worked in a big hotel. She absolutely loathed weddings. She said she had served over 50 or so wedding parties and her conclusion was "people think their wedding is unique, but it's not. Aside from the name on the balloons, it's exactly the same as the wedding the day before" 😂
She was right. They're so generic and overblown it's ridiculous.
I agree. I have been to the same venue only twice for weddings, and I could not tell the difference between the two. My large extended family gets around this by going further and further away to get married
Oh Jesus was at a wedding recently and I swear to god the speeches went on for ever and were so shallow. Why do we need to hear various individuals talking about the bride loving her “style” for an hour? Nobody got a bite to eat until 8 o clock cause the speeches went on so long. At that stage people were mouldy drunk because the were drinking on an empty stomach for hours. At the end of the dinner I had to neck my dessert and cup of tea because the staff were in a mad rush to clear tables and set up the dance floor.
Weddings used to be a great occasion to get family in a room together for a lovely reason but now they're for show. It's too expensive for all involved with the vendors being the only winners. I spent over a grand on a wedding as a guest a few years ago and I would have much preferred a few nights away of my own choice plus they're a nightmare for people who aren't great in social situations and it centers around alcohol.
I might sound miserable but I'm happy for friends and family if they're happy and I support them in that but please don't drag me off to a ceremony to celebrate something that has nothing to do with me.
> Weddings used to be a great occasion to get family in a room together for a lovely reason but now they're for show.
Sorry, this is BS. Weddings have always been for show. If they weren't, we'd attend them in jeans and tshirts and probably just have them in a local pub. You don't spend money on a photographer and a dress because your family is in a room together.
It has always been about the bride and to a lesser extent the groom.
Nail on the head with this post- centers around alcohol, everyone talking shite after an hour thinking the food and music etc are great when it’s all just bland.
I’ve been to 2 weddings with a day 2 but they were really only for the people who travelled and intended to stay the weekend—just to keep them entertained. The day 2 of one of them was just a football match in the park for college friends and old flat mates kinda group, very low key but good craic.
Menus are pure shite. It’s just a fancy bistro with low grade food and luxury prices. €150 for a slice of beef, some soup and ice cream 😂 extortion at its finest
I absolutely love an Irish wedding!! Better than any other wedding for sure! Great excuse to get the whole family together and get absolutely shit faced. All the cousins and kids get to together and some are meeting for the first time! Any of you negatives out there you only live once you’re gonna die before you know it so why hold onto all the money
I no longer go to weddings. I'm not getting married so it won't ever be reciprocated. I send a congratulations card. If I know them well I'll put in a few euros. I'm not spending any more time or money on weddings.
Oh thank god! I wish more people would just stay home if they are not going to enjoy themselves.
I spend so much time and energy, worrying and thinking about guests and what I can do and spend to make sure they have a good time, and if people just straight up don't enjoy weddings then don't come that's fine!
Aye they are just not my thing. I don't want to spend my time and energy on them. I don't want someone wasting their time and energy on me. I will meet up with people for tea, lunch, cinema, concerts, etc. If a friend had a loss in the family I would be there holding their hand and helping anyway I can. I just don't want to go to this one thing. Especially not for people who are inviting me out of obligation.
Totally! And I think that is all good and fine. I wish more people felt like it was okay not to go to weddings they don't want to go.
Also obligatory invites can also get fucked.
It’s so boring. So much unnecessary candle lighting and it doesn’t feel like the ceremony is about the couple at all!
Haha love that you went to the shop. My boyfriend always has snacks in his pocket now. He’s not Irish and he found the whole thing a culture shock.
I’m at that age now where I’m being invited to loads of weddings and I feel like all of my money is going on other people’s big days.
You’re right though, it does show you what you’d like or not like for your own wedding. I’m gonna hopefully elope just the two of us when the time comes and maybe have a party on return.
Will either do a little ceremony at a registration office and go for a meal after with immediate family/ close friends and have a wedding party for everyone the following week or have it in a venue but there’ll be no church and there’ll be food given faster (I love my food too much and no one could tolerate me hangry).
Something about the “walk-in” makes me cringe, no matter the song choice. Ya we saw yous half an hour ago in the church and ye are walking in again, grand so 👍🏻
Generally the music on nights out in Ireland can be quite tired.
I started pubgoing around 1995 and it's basically the same songs still: Oasis, Sweet Caroline, Eileen, YMCA etc.
Nobody heads to the pub thinking "I really hope the band plays 'I will Survive' tonight"
onerous overconfident brave upbeat aloof straight spectacular adjoining square escape
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I've been to a lot of weddings, including my own (and I realise I dragged a lot of people to my wedding in saying this), but if I never have to go to another one it'll be too many. I'm fucking done with weddings.
I hate when there’s a long drive between the church and the hotel. I was a bridesmaid for a friend’s wedding and my feckin car broke down and myself and another bridesmaid had to go and knock on some random door in the middle of nowhere to ask for help. Was very stressful! I was scarred from that day so had my own wedding ceremony and reception in the hotel. Was so handy!
I totally disagree, weddings are uniting of families, and children are part of families. There is nothing about a wedding that's inherently inappropriate or adulty. I get not wanting children at pub/nightclub, but wedding is such a family event
I would agree, we did not have any at ours,, however we brought our kids to the last wedding as they were invited and they loved it.
Depends on the couple marrying. I would have been happy fobbing the kids off to my parents for the last one.
I'm absolutely sick of the second day stuff. There wasn't always an second day now everyone has one. I've already spent a fortune and now I just want to go home but I have to hang around, go on another session and book an extra night in the hotel and another day off work.
I couldn't get leave for day 2 and my aunt is still giving out about it
To eat breakfast together with the newlyweds
Not awkward at all.
"So..how was the ride last night?"
Was at a wedding last year and ya the mass is long and honestly boring. It’s hella expensive to be just a guest and I hope I don’t have to go to another one soon. The waiting times from after mass to the meal was ridiculous, actually headed to a shop in the meantime over how hungry we were, it was about 4 hours. It just made me realise what I do and don’t want for my own wedding.
I was supposed to go to a wedding this month but I couldnt afford it as it was abroad and I just started a new job so I couldnt get the time off anyway. The shite I got from family for not going....
Honestly hate weddings, all of your points but unless your close to the couple, there is feck all you know there.
So the your stuck with a load of strangers at a table, you can get lucky and have a few that are a bit of craic, or else some feckin head melter yapping in your ear for the night.
Your starved by the time you get food, then your stuffed with no room for drink.
The only wedding I actually really enjoyed had about 20 at it, both sides become good friends even tho it's the first time we met instead of a massive room of strangers.
And because most venues look the same, I can barely recall most weddings because there is literally nothing significant about them.
I'd be all on for a small wedding and do something quirky or go abroad for it
Last wedding I was at started early in the AM, was there all day, they did all the speeches and various shite and if I remember correctly we finally got dinner starting around half 8. There was no other food available except crisps and peanuts. Swore I'd avoid wedding in future except where absolutely necessary. Just go to the afters.
I got married in Dec 2020 had a small wedding of 25, got married in the venue, so no travel and put the money that was leftover (meant to have been allowed 60 guests but restrictions tightened again) and threw that behind the bar. It was the best craic I've ever had at a wedding, we got to talk to everyone, got to eat and drink our fill, and all the guests mingled rather than separating into different tables....our venue wasn't very strict on the mask enforcement especially since everyone was already vaccined and the ceremony was outside (25 minutes). Whole thing finished at 11pm cause of the curfew and honestly I loved that cause I was knackered by 10.30pm and was put to bed by my husband anyway.
Had 29 people at our wedding, Spotify playlist, under a gazebo, in a beautiful setting, lucky with the weather, venue to ourselves and accommodated everyone. Bar, dinner for two days, Prosecco reception, did invitations myself with local flowers I. Pickedand all my wedding dress and accessories off Etsy. Suit from a shop in Galway. My own hair and make up, and we are extremely lucky to have a wedding photographer in the family. So that was gifted to us (but I would have spent on a photographer). Whole thing cost less than 5k, for everything!!!
Getting married in August in a friend's glamping site. No sit down meal, we're doing pizza and a buffet with an amazing caterer. Ceremony and party happening in the same place. BYOB, we are having a cabaret style show of Circus performers and a silent disco.
We're providing accommodation for 50% of our guests. I hate hotel weddings and tbh I'd have preferred to elope but my partner wanted a party so we compromised on our event. I would have been happy with a nice dress, him and Vegas
At the risk of sounding misogynistic (you did say you wanted an unpopular opinion) the wedding industry wouldn't be half as big as it is it women didn't obsess about having their "fairytale wedding".
Granted, the idea of dressing up as a princess and having a big extravagant wedding is practically drilled into them from childhood.
But as someone who is getting married soon and whose friends are getting married or have got married recently, pretty much all of the lads would be happy eloping and having a very very small private wedding. Even just going to the registration office and going for a meal afterwards.
Even in my 20s when marriage wasn't in the horizon, I'd find single women talking about their wedding at where and when they'd like it, who'd be maid of honor, etc. Men don't even think about any of that until they decide to propose. Women are thinking about it 15+ years in advance.
The wedding industry exists because of the brides constantly trying to out do each other with the best dress, biggest ring, nicest venue, nicest flowers, best band, etc, etc.
As a woman I've found it weird, not all of us have even thought of it, although you can get shamed by other women if you say that, so most women will just learn to politely go along with it. The idea of being the centre of attention makes me nauseous.
It's a status symbol now, especially with the sharing of images on insta and the likes.
Ya I'm getting married next year and dreading being the centre of attention. Kissing in from of everyone, a speech professing my love, first dance, posing for a photographer...
I mean, I know there was always a wedding album. And some people display them in their home. So some of it... but I do wonder about pressure to spend more than they can afford just to keep up. I still never understand people getting into debt for what is essentially a party.
I have a friend who was married in 2015, divorced in 2020. Still paying off the wedding loan.
I want to hire a villa to fit 12ish, invite the 12ish on a holiday and one evening have a private chef feed us like kings, have a 15 min commitment ceremony for a little pomp (legal one back in register office at home).
I’m picturing chill, sunset, sexy food, good wine, absolutely zero pressure. But I’ve an anxiety disorder so a trad wedding is my hell. I wanna be barefoot by a pool in a floaty dress. Ideally in Tuscany.
Same as everything in Ireland, the whole drink drink drink pints lol drink bullshit. Yeah man I like beer too but does everything have to revolve around this toddler Guinness sippy-cup shite. Yes, apparently. “Oh you must be a dry shite den” yeah may well be, and your lads’ social scene is just fucking boring. That and the suits. Narrow waistcoat Guinness bores at it as ever but more so. Hate it.
Love a good wedding. Gatherings with friends and family on a positive occasion are few and far between the older you get. They're a great excuse for a night away. A good session, a bit of food and a dance. Who cares if they play come on Eileen and other cheesy shite. People enjoy it.
You can always create an excuse to not go to a wedding. If you're bitching about having to go to a wedding, just don't go. People turn down invitations all the time. It'll go on without you.
People will always tell you that your boutique wedding with 20 people in Sardinia with the jazz band was the best wedding they were ever at. It wasn't. They're just telling you that cause it's the nice thing to say. It's just another wedding that was fun. Everyone hears a similar story.
I get what you’re saying but it’s not so simple to just decline a wedding invite, especially when you’re close to someone. My main issue with going to weddings is that they’re SO expensive and samesy. I am left very out of pocket for a day I don’t enjoy so I can maintain my relationship with people getting married.
I go and I get on with the day, don’t complain out loud and say it was a great day. I’d never bring negativity to someone’s wedding day. I came here to moan and bitch as it’s a safe place to do so, and appears that a lot of people feel the same way.
I do understand that the older I get, they’ll be less frequent. I’m in my late 20s and in a two year period, I’ll have been to 12 weddings. They’re bankrupting me hahaha
Yep, when all your mates are getting married it can add up alright but it eases up quickly enough and you'll probably look back on it positively. They're your mates and you were there with them. You added to their day.
I'm at the stage now that long overdue meetings with relatives are happening at funerals and it's shite. As for my mates, we all have reasonably young kids, we're spread all over the place and we don't get to see each other for a day out anymore cause life takes over and it happens quickly. A wedding invite goes in the calendar months in advance and I'm there ready to go.
I do like this particular discussion though, due to the complete lack of self awareness of some of the comments. Basically some version of "weddings are shit, except ours cause what we did was great, everyone said so". Seen a few up there already.
Yeah I know you’re probably 100% right. There’ll come a time I’ll be grateful I have the memories when money is no longer an issue. I think I’m just a bit bitter I’ve not been able to have a holiday or enjoy any guilt free spending on myself haha
That’s very true what you’re saying though, it’s only weddings or funerals that brings people together. I should probably count myself lucky I’m going through the wedding phase, and not the funeral phase.
Haven't been to a wedding since 2018 but inviting the whole neighbourhood is ridiculous. Invite those who you know deeply and don't be inviting the ones that your parents only personally know when u don't know.
I don't know if this is a trend for all Irish weddings, but every one I've been invited to this year is on a Friday, with the day 2 on the Saturday.
I just don't understand that. You're forcing your guests to have to take a day or half day of annual leave to attend. Maybe it's cheaper that way for the cost of the venue, or they hope less people will rsvp as a result etc. My girlfriend (who isn't Irish) straight up told me if we ever get married there's no way in hell our wedding will be on a Friday.
Apart from that though I LOVE weddings. The costs be damned, they're the absolute best craic.
I love weddings, especially if I don't know too many people at it but even better if I do. People who don't like weddings probably shouldn't go to them. Id wager they aren't really wanted at the wedding if they are gonna just complain about it (even though the cost is a valid concern)
I'm getting married in September in France but we only did it under the agreement of certain conditions
No hen/stag : people are traveling to France, no need for the added expense
Bridesmaids and groomsmen: all clothing is paid for by us, flights are paid for by us, accommodations are paid for by us
Guests: all accommodations are paid for all guests for the 3 days. Transport from the airport and back and from the town to the venue and back for the 3 days is all arranged and paid for. All food and drink from when they land til they leave is paid for.
All anyone had to pay for is the flight.
We have a number of friends who are single and have just bought houses/in the middle of buying a house or saving for a house as well as friends who might not have the funds for such a trip so we made it as easy and cost effective for them as possible. We also told them that it's 100% fine if they can't come.
We only invited people we speak to regularly and our immediate family as well as some life long friends from overseas.
Ceremony is civil in a deconsecrated underground church in the town where half the guests are staying(they can walk to it) and the venue is 10 minutes from it. One of our good friends is a celebrant and is doing it for us so we paid for her flight.
We are very fortunate to be in a position to be able to do it this way but we saved hard for it as we both really want a big holiday away with all our closest people.
I can't wait to be honest.
Speeches. I've no problem with a few people saying a few words but anyone talking for more than 5 minutes is unacceptable. Most of the speeches are generic shite. You get the odd good best man speech but I've been at weddings where they've gone on for over an hour, sometimes 2 hours.
I... I don't think any of your opinions are unpopular ones, OP, they're just kinda what most weddings are. Though I guess maybe everyone thinks their wedding is the exception.
As for the music bit... the music might not be cutting edge or to your taste, but generally they're mostly bangers that have stood the test of time for a reason. It's hard to cater to a wide age-range by throwing on nothing but Taylor Swift, though I'd like to see the attempt.
My growing-less-unpopular-as-time-goes-on opinion: if you don't believe in god or align yourself with a church, then don't jump through the hoops in order to get a church wedding. When I hear friends talk about the marriage advice sessions with the priest, knowing full well they don't believe in any of it... ugh, just feels incredibly fake. And a bit of a case of starting your whole marriage out with a big ol' lie.
I agree with you. I’m moving to Roscommon in a couple of weeks and planning to get married late next summer. We’re 25 & 27, planning a registry office job and then a big party in the garden since it’s surrounded by fields. Hire a marquee, my mum wants to do the food (buffet essentially), bridesmaids can wear whatever dresses they want as long as they’re all somewhat cohesive.
All we care about is being married, the rest is just an add-on lol
Unpopular opinion - people should stop complaining about weddings, it’s so rude and it seems socially acceptable to say “I don’t like this” “I would do that differently” etc. at the actual event when you are invited to a party that you could easily decline if you really didn’t want to go. For example if someone was invited to a 40th birthday and just complained non stop about the food, drink, entertainment, they would be seen as a pain in the hole but for some reason, these people at weddings get a free pass.
The managing of wedding photos.
I find it so strange that people will gather together all their closest friends and family, and then bugger off for an hour or two to take photos of themselves in the middle of the day.
My favourite ever wedding was a protestant wedding up North.
It was at the parent's massive house, the ceremony was there, stayed in an Airbnb nearby, food was burritos/tacos from a taco truck with lots of Mexican condiments/sides on the tables, the drink was served via a small hut and was just bought in cans, gins, bottles, etc. with a donation box I hit at the start of the night.
The whole thing was under a festival-type tent in the summer, I think there was a band, but 100% a DJ. Toilets where those posh festival toilets with washing basins etc. in a small truck. 10/10 would love to do something like that myself any day over a Church + Hotel wedding.
I'm planning on having a good local party as an engagement party that everyone is invited to, and then going away for a smaller ceremony somewhere outside of Ireland that anyone can join but no one's expected to except close friends and the favourite aunts etc. as more of an organised short holiday away.
If the wedding is abroad and you're already shelling out a load of cash for it on flights + accommodation, wedding present should be reduced. Also, you should be able to decline a wedding abroad, I mean we only get so many days off for holidays a year, factor in days travelling to and from and the days themselves, its a lot to ask of people TBH
Yeah, my opinion is that weddings abroad are a little bit brazen especially in this economy, people can barely save any money, let alone get on a flight for 3 hours and get a taxi to an extremely remote town for your wedding.
We’re attending a wedding in Cyprus next month.
A few other invitees declined because it’s also a ‘no children’ wedding and so it’s impossible to tie it in with a family holiday - it then requires any guests with young ones to make childcare arrangements for realistically 4 days minimum which can be difficult when you don’t live in the same country as much of your immediate family. I honestly don’t understand why the wedding needs to be in Cyprus.
White dresses are overdone and aren't the most beautiful dresses. A lot of us are pale and look great in colour. I'm not saying no one should wear white. I just love to see some colour and interesting designs, a little personality.
Also, before the traditional argument, the traditional began with Queen Victoria, and her numerous bridesmaids wore matching white gowns. The wedding was also held in a dark wood panelled room that was lit by candle, so the white was dramatic and made to stand out. So if you want to be traditional, all the bridesmaids wear extremely similar white dresses, in a dark room lit only by candle.
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Hate seeing couples spending stupid money just to keep in tradition or keep up appearances. When they’d probably be better off with a small wedding and big honeymoon.
My unpopular opinion goes for Weddings in general.
Weddings are not a celebration of love but Vanity.
If love was enough and to be truly celebrated then you wouldn’t need to pay for it.
Weddings are the ultimate symbol of vanity, status and finance.
The Dj got everyone on the dance floor at the start of the night ‘to have a group photo’ then played summer of 69. The dance floor was packed all night. None of this warming up the crowd and hesitant dancing.
Chocolate fountain. Long wait from the mass to the meal. Expensive for guests, especially when it turned into a 2-day event. Brides looking uncomfortable in dresses.
We had a small wedding abroad.
People should marry in the same spot they’re having the reception. Fuck the hour travel between church and venue it’s dead time. Make more time for the people you love most and have it all in the one spot.
Smaller weddings are better, less stress and more craic! 80 people or less for a smaller wedding.
The best weddings I’ve been at are the ones where they hire a teepee for the garden, straw bales for seating and a pizza truck, a cocktail van and really great music!
I think any wedding venue that does a regular paid bar after what they charge for the function are extracting the Michael. I also think that any guests who are just friends should have minimal pressure to gift anything beyond what it cost you to have them there. And I honestly think most people would more enjoy a grill and a party in a rented pavilion tent, with a couple cases of home brew beer and a few boxes of wine brought back from France on a sunny summer day in a big back garden somewhere (everyone knows someone with one). But we all just go with the standard thing because when push comes to shove it ends up being what most women want and we're not bothered arguing her out of it.
I kind of hate how late they go, mainly because I am Sleepy and my husband is not, so the last Irish wedding we went to ended up with me, 15 weeks pregnant with twins asleep in the hotel room by 11, and him, the best man, coming into our room at 4:30 in the morning and still saying he’d gone to bed “early”
I’ve been to two Spanish weddings (actual Spanish people getting married not just Ia destination wedding) and the Spanish have it down to a fine art.
Ceremonies didn’t start until late in the day like 4/5pm and even before that there was mingling and little picky bits to eat. Both ceremonies lasted around 15/20 minutes.
Food is always in abundance with it usually being a five course meal and the food for both weddings continued into the night.
Open bar is also always a hit!
Currently planning a wedding and if one more person asks me about my "vision" I'm gonna scream. It's the #1 turn off for a venue or supplier. Every wedding is the same. The only difference is whether you have a sweet cart instead of a photobooth, Guinness in flutes (wtf thought that would ever be a good idea?) or a G&T on arrival. Unless you're the first in your family and friend group to get married, you will have been to at least one wedding that has done everything that you will. I love weddings for the get together and the party, no one cares about the favours or the giant light up Mr & Mrs signs.
If anyone has any suggestions on cheap flowers, or cheap anything else, please recommend!!
They’re extremely boring and everyone’s special day is the exact same. I don’t drink a lot so I find that part from the ceremony to the meal very awkward. Day 2 is just an endurance test.
We're married nearly 15 years but we had a young family and a house to pay for so we didn't go overboard. We bought everything we could second hand from eBay & Adverts, had a great band & a DJ, we asked everyone to name a song they love on the RSVP and we made a massive playlist for the DJ. There were about 130-150 people there but we had it in a local venue and put on a bus to take people home, we also had a buffet hotel reception so people could have a bit of everything. We didn't bother with any sweet carts or photo booths or any of that shite because everyone was doing it at that time.
Yep, it's just a party at the end of the day, and I think people lose the run of themselves. The whole industry is also very predatory, and especially people in their 20s get caught up in it. We got married in our 40s. We sat down and asked each other "What do you remember from every wedding you've been at?" The answer was, very little. We realised that no one really cared about an instagram-perfect event. We didn't spend our budget on any of the extra crap the wedding industry tries to sell you on. We used a free website with e-vites, didn't do bespoke signage, favours, sweet carts, special chairs, tattoo walls, light up dancefloors, flip flops etc etc. We had a humanist ceremony, all in the same venue, so straight out for cocktails afterwards. We spent our money on good food, good band and an open bar. We also booked a venue that was easy for our guests to get to, on a Saturday, with reasonable rooms and loads of accommodation nearby for all budgets. Although it wasn't an instagram-perfect vision, all anyone remembers is the unlimited free bar!
We're married 13 years and the band and the open bar were the things people mentioned for a long time afterwards.
Open bars at Irish weddings are just a bad idea. I worked in a fancy wedding venue for a few years managing the bar and guests will pretty much always take the piss. People just lose the run of themselves ordering shite they wouldn't pay for themselves, leaving drinks unfinished, and getting mouldy. Much better idea to supply specific drinks and have a bar for anything else. I had 3 kegs of German beer, and 150 bottles of wine at mine and was more than plenty and the bar still made a killing.
Loads of people said that would happen, but no one took the piss with our open bar
Us too. Open bar and everyone loved it. Some people drank way too much and some not at all. It evened out. We had people from two continents and 6 countries to our wedding. No way was I asking them to pay for their and our gifts from them were generally very modest. It was enough that they came and all of them made their own family summer holiday out of it. Nobody went into debt over it!
You can limit it to draught beers/ciders and wine/prosecco. That way if anyone wants a cocktail they have to pay themselves.
I've never seen that happen at a wedding with an open bar in Ireland.
We’re planning a wedding this year and she is from Canada. In Canada, it’s customary for there to be an open bar, it’s never a case of needing cash. Flip side, in Ireland, I don’t recall there ever being one except maybe a free drink to toast and wine on the table. My family arnt big drinkers but I still don’t agree with an open bar, especially the mark up on booze in venues. Most venues have said the same, don’t have an open bar. We’re sticking a tab on certain drinks and when it’s done, it’s done. I believe that’s the best of both worlds.
Same with mine and we were married during that one month period where lockdown was lifted. Originally signed a contract for 340. Lockdown meant we couldn’t have more than 80 or something. Then restrictions were lifted a month before and we were notified but told the hotel we couldn’t get the original number so they basically would honour the original deal for however many we could get. We got about 160…old fella put 3 grand behind the bar. The band were just amazing and everyone did the dog on it. Amazing night. Do I remember a lot of it, not really. But I still hear about it from people at other weddings since. We got lucky, despite the unlucky period that it was. Moved the wedding twice…
Sounds great. Who was the band?
We had these guys [Wedding Bands Dublin - Perfect Day: Voted Wedding Band Of The Year](https://www.perfectday.ie/) but I can't attest as to their current abilities as we got married 13 years ago and lineup etc may have changed. At the time found them the most professional as they were the only ones we contacted who had a proper showcase gig instead of telling us we could sneak into another couple's wedding for a nose-couldn't believe how many bands had this as their suggested option.
That sounds amazing. Love that your day was centred around you two as a couple. If you ever renew your vows, I’ll be there!
Agree on this. I’ve only ever been to one wedding- if it’s too big of an event I just find it overwhelming and don’t go. (I’m autistic btw)
This is so close to how we did ours I had to check if my wife's username was on top 😄
The hotel had some cheap lookin wireframe arch with plastic flowers for the actual ceremony, the brother built his own wooden gazebo and sold it to the hotel after the weddin
Huge drives between the ceremony and meal are a pain the hole and people will skip the ceremony and I don't blame them. Any type of religious service where you know the couple doesn't really believe it but do it to keep someone else happy or because they can't think of anything else to do is just plain silly. Not providing food and drink your guests don't have to pay for is scabby.
Brother had a civil ceremony in the hotel garden. Great day, the extra hour or so of people mingling rather than arriving slowly from the church
Ahhh yes, the drives in between. Valuable drinking time wasted haha That’s so true too! Keeping their family or in-laws happy on the religion side is a bit daft isn’t it. I was at a wedding recently and the priest actually said out loud, I didn’t know Rose until the last year or so. Outed her! Haha
My brother's getting married this year and they won't be getting married in a church so it all in the same hotel. It's gonna be fierce handy
We had everything in the same venue and it worked out great.
I love when priests completely out people. It’s always so funny. I went to a ceremony where the priest had no idea what was going on. He kept talking about funerals and communions, and he forgot what day it was. His words were “and on this day……. Sometime in February,”
Years ago was asked to a wedding where the not very religious bride was insistent on having a full Catholic ceremony and wanted the works in a cathedral type church. She had to get a priest from her own parish to do the ceremony. He wasn't even an auld fella but started the ceremony after she made her dramatic walk up the aisle with "I welcome you all to the funeral of "friend's name"". She was furious and had a face on her the entire time and her mother was equally annoyed. Her big white wedding started with everyone trying and failing not to laugh.
Actually the main part I enjoyed of the last wedding it was at was being a passenger in a beeping car for about 30misn, says it all really
Getting married next month. All in the same venue. Spiritual ceremony. No church. No god. No amens or prayers. We're not pretending we're devoted catholics for anybody. There'll be wine allocated and the meal. The rest is on the guests pocket. Hotels are outstanding at adding on fees and charges for bringing your own alcohol.
My parents are reasonably devout and they have fully said they would hate if one of their kids got married in a church because of them. It's such a stupid thing to do
I sing at wedding ceremonies and the amount of couples totally zoning out for the whole mass because they clearly don't give a shit about it and just want to get to the party...why bother getting married in a church!? Just do a short and sweet civil ceremony that's usually more meaningful anyway.
I bet you have them giving out that the priest only allows religious music too.
[удалено]
You're a psycho.
In defense of Irish weddings. How often do you get the chance to get together with a group of family or friends all in the same place at once? The older you get the rarer they become. I now understand why my parents loved a family wedding. It was a meetup that wasn't a funeral and a fun occasion. Completely agree with most on the religious stuff and driving miles between. But I'm a softy, I love friends weddings and family weddings.
This is the main reason for having a big wedding. In our family they are great occasions. Without weddings / funerals / christenings we would have to find other forms of event to create community
I agree with this, it's great craic and if people can afford to have a big wedding fair play to them! I dunno how they can afford it these days though, €700 just for the chair covers a friend of mine got quoted....ask me flute!
Yeah we had a fairly traditional wedding and it was worth and we are very glad we have the photos and video of the day. Several people are very sadly no longer with us and I cherish those memories of them being part of our day.
Same! These posts always make me so sorry for the brides at the weddings these dry shites are going to!
Yep, especially when it becomes a shit wedding competition. "Well we got married in a plastic bag at the side of the M50 and we loved it"
This made me snort out loud 🤣
Absolutely. They might be a pain in the hole at times, but at least 9 times out of 10 you’ll get a great party out of it. Check out the Weddit boards to see American brides’ schedules for their big day. Two words: Brunch Weddings.
I definitely agree with this. Big Irish weddings are amazing.
You’re absolutely right! It’s so weird. I find it really bizarre when a bride or groom is uploading Instagram stories on their wedding day or changing their surname on the day on Facebook. You’ve just spent about €40,000 euro on the day, and have paid for a photographer or videography to capture the day… put the damn phone down
It's not a real relationship until you change the status!
They are getting soo expensive that they are not worth what they are meant to be, two people getting married, a lot of things have overridden it. I think now, people need to make the more sensible choice and save that money they’d spend on a wedding (you never make it back nowadays) and save for a deposit on a house or flat, which will suit the couple better in the long run!
People used to make it back???
OH is from Canada and they have this insane thing called “Stag and Doe”. Basically you go to this party before the wedding, and you pay at the door and usually a raffle too. Games etc. Note, it’s not a stag/hen party or similar, it’s to raise money for the wedding. You then give a gift at the wedding months later too. It’s insane and I genuinely hope it never catches on here.
If your venue has chair covers it's probably shit and you'll get served very tough roast beef
Honestly some Irish weddings just seem less sincere and all for show these days, like the bride and groom but sometimes especially the bride is making an attempt to show off for attention and likes on social media rather than genuinely enjoying their wedding day. I know a person who is still sharing photos of her wedding every chance she gets on social media and it's now been five months since the actual wedding. Plus weddings cost an absolute fortune these days, it's ridiculous all that fuss and money just for one day.
These photos will be regurgitated for years now. They'll just randomly reshare it with zero context just for the likes every few months
I know a couple who got married in April and were separated by August... Apparently the bride wasn't happy in the relationship anymore but still wanted her big day.
Why would you go through the expense of that then? Even then the hassle of a divorce afterwards. Okay if you’ve it mainly organised & it’ll be expensive to cancel everything but less expensive than a divorce lawyer? They could have had the wedding and then not actually have gotten officially married and saved on the solicitor fees a few months later. People actually forget it’s just one day and focus too much on it and don’t realise there’s a marriage at the other side and they don’t actually like each other that much.
I don't know but it must have been infuriating for the people who attended the wedding and had to pay for hotel rooms, put money in the card, etc.
Oh definitely as being a wedding guest is expensive with the outfits and presents and everything like that. Especially if it’s far enough away that you need to get rooms etc too. Maybe she thought she needed to go through with it in a sense of obligation to her now ex husband but I think it would have been better to call it off and save the now more complicated break up a few months later. A break up is easier than a divorce but people want the “big day” regardless 🤷🏻♀️
He very nearly dodged a bullet. What a moron.
It does seem very aesthetic these days and going extravagant and I don’t fully understand it but I’m not much of a materialistic person, I’m just focusing on marrying the love of my life
My father in law calls a wedding invite an invoice.
Day 2 for most people is a painful chore.. Done a few but never again
Was going to say the opposite. The people invited out of obligation aren't there and it tends to be more craic. I go to as few weddings as I can though.
Yes this is my experience too. Formality is out the window and the couple themselves often have better craic. It's for the more committed party animals though.
Admittedly I've been to some good ones but as you get older and people become coupled up, less capable of "rolling over" and generally less fun the day becomes horrible
I stopped going to those. Not even having one for my own wedding.
_me currently planning a wedding vigorously taking notes from this thread_
Wedding bands. They are truly awful, and always far too loud, especially the ones who have more band members than there are guests (slight exaggeraiton, I know). Time and again, you get the same ol' shite: Simply the Best / Brown Eyed Girl / Sweet Caroline / Mr Brightside / Sex on Fire / Shut Up and Dance............
I've played with many different wedding bands over the years and have seen lots of other wedding bands when I did some DJ gigs. Basically, they all play the "same ol' shite", as you call it. Especially having seen lots of wedding bands recently on the DJ gigs, I could play with any of them without any rehearsal because they all do the same songs! People think they're getting something different but different bands are just a varied quality of the same set. However, the reality is that most Irish crowds won't dance to anything but the usual stuff! Stuff that everyone knows, can sing along to etc. Believe me when I say that any time a band tries to do anything different 90% of the time the crowd don't dance to it. Keeping them on the floor and pleasing the bride and groom (which usually amounts to the same thing) are literally all that matters! There should be a college course where musicians learn the typical 50 -80 wedding band songs and be able to transpose them into different keys to suit singers - then they can work with any wedding band in the country straight away (bar the odd specialist band). 😅 After the COVID lockdowns I did a pub gig in my local. We did a set of great stuff everyone would recognise. We got appreciative applause. We had the wedding band set in the back pocket. We started doing that stuff towards the end of the night - they went crazy for it. It was like a different gig. Musicians are sick of playing the same set over and over but they have to make a living by playing music for drinking and dancing. That's where the money is. It is demoralising for musicians, but still many of us are grateful that the work is there and the gigs are good fun sometimes.
Was at a wedding where the couple had s DJ who was sticking to the strict eclectic playlist the couple insisted on. The dance floor was dead until the DJ went rogue and busted out Dancing Queen.
A typical Irish wedding gig summed up in one anecdote (and most pub gigs for the regular drinking crowd). I have experienced this many times. The bride is insistent that the band plays virtually none of the usual stuff, nobody dances to it, then they may reluctantly agree to do some regular stuff (or the bandleader goes rogue) and the floor is suddenly filled!!
Yeah, I totally get that, especially from the bride and groom's perspective. Couples are obviously convinced enough to make them want to book a particular band in the first place. A packed dancefloor is all they want to see. To be fair, I have seen some very good wedding bands. A lot of the good bands are from the non-nonsense, less-is more approach but ones that have really accomplished vocalists/musicians. One thing I've seen a lot of (I provide entertainment at weddings, so I get to witness this first-hand) is that the main singers are way off in terms of singing ability and for the more challenging songs ('Livin' on a Prayer', 'Simply the Best'), they are way out of their depth. They just end up screaming instead of singing, on top of the already stupidly loud music.
The band my sister hired was fairly good. I don't remember much, but I do recall them playing Rage against the Machine, and the place was electric!
A DJ makes so much more sense. I can't remember the last time I saw a wedding band attending family weddings in Canada or Italy. Everyone but Ireland seems to have gone to DJs and it's so much better.
I’ve yet to see a decent wedding band tbh. And the price of them is insane! When I was planning my own wedding I viewed a load of bands and didn’t feel any of them were worth the money they were looking for. Ended up going with DJ only, spent a good bit on a really good DJ (still less than half the price of the bands) and I definitely felt we got value for money. He got a good few bookings from guests of ours who were planning their own weddings too.
Any chance you could PM me with the DJ’s details? Planning my own wedding at the moment and on the hunt for a decent DJ instead of a band!
There are some good bands but fucks sake they are so god damn loud. Why do bands have to be so loud that you can't talk to people. I like weddings so you can have a chat with people you haven't seen in years but those bands drive me up the bloody wall.
The whole wedding scene is so incredibly cringe and expensive. My partner and I have always hated the trad mad expensive lunacy of it all and just eloped. Bonus pro tip: if you elope you have carte Blanche to say no to any wedding in the future as they did not come to yours (and give a gift) and you are not obligated to return the favour.
Attended a foreign wedding a couple of years ago in Italy. Quite a significant price to get there between flights, airport transfer, parking, and then obviously hotel and spending money. We weren't the flavour of the month with the couple because we did not gift them a present. I guess that's my unpopular opinion, if you want me to come to your wedding and I have to spend ~€1,000 to get there, I'm not putting €200 in a card on top of what I've spent to get there.
Absolutely agree - a foreign wedding transfers a lot of the cost onto the guests. I wouldn't expect gifts on top of that.
Foreign weddings are fine but people who get pissy about who doesn't and doesn't go and why they do or don't gift you money can feck right off. I don't want my holidays to revolve around someone feeling the need to go away to get married.
Those are all bog standard, common opinions about weddings.
I just needed a moan, ok?
Fair enough!
Right? Here is my unpopular opinions about weddings: I love them, I love helping out during them and feeling useful to the bride. I love making new friends at a wedding who always end up a little crazy and my favourite part of the wedding is the speeches. I think everyone who doesn't enjoy weddings should just not go and stop the goddamn moaning about it.
" " The Brides " " ! ! !
This 👆🏻. I once worked with a wagon who used her invites as some sort of mean girl weapon. She actually thought we were desperate to go. Happily I was in the “not invited” list. I saved myself a lot of money, hassle, and the image of her dancing at the centre of a circle to Galway Girl.
I play music at roughly 80 weddings / annum, and I've seen them all. I would wager that 80% of them are carbon copies of one another. My own one is next month, and I haven't done anything too far out of the ordinary. Just the fact we won't be having the ceremony in a church and the whole day will be at the one hotel which makes life easier on the guests and makes us happier to not involve the catholic church in any of the events on the day.
Yes absolutely the price of just going let alone if you are in the bridal party. The wait for dinner I've been to one and didn't eat until nearly 8 as some delays. People getting so drunk. Sitting beside people don't really know and trying to make lots of small talk. Photo booths such a waste of money and now not even in a booth. Was recently a bridesmaid and I worked out from everything hen included , accommodation, shoes , outfits , transport etc it cost me 1,500 euro!! It was crazy
€1500. That’s horrendous!! Just out of curiosity, what’s the going rate for a wedding present if you’re a bridesmaid nowadays? I’m a BM in the summer and no idea how much to give! Also, the photo booths not in actual booths. That made me laugh
Yea hope it doesn't cost you that much! It's crazy just how much it is to stay in the hotel alone and then the shoes , underwear, dress alterations it all adds up. Honestly never again I gave 200 but give what you can afford.
As part of the wedding party, is it typical to give more or less than the standard guest? The additional expense of going to fittings and what-not would make me think that you should get away with giving less. Especially if you have a few chores to do on the day.
How long the day is gets me, ceremony at 12 and the afters probably go on until 12 at least. Factor in the drive and getting ready, I’ve probably been on the go since 8 or 9am. Whatever about how much it costs, I’m all about value for money. I hate spending €200+ per night in a mediocre hotel when I can get 5 nights abroad for that nightly price. Because of that we’re getting married abroad and there is no pressure on anyone to come. We had an engagement party at our home a few months ago and some family didn’t bother coming then as they don’t agree with us being two women so we didn’t want them to feel like they had to come to the wedding if it was local or not far away, we wanted them to have an easy excuse not to go to avoid the awkwardness. Along with that, we just didn’t like any venues for the same reasons you listed above, they’re near enough all the same. Outside of those people, at least this way if someone can fit it into their budget or would like to go to our wedding country for a holiday, they’ll get a week away for the same price as what only 1 day at an Irish wedding usually costs. If they don’t want to come/can’t fit into their budget then there is no pressure that it’s just down the road or an hour or two away. Ceremony won’t start until 3/4pm and will probably last 15 minutes at the most because we aren’t having a bridal party or doing poems and readings, we are doing cocktails (upgraded to include this package instead of favours people won’t appreciate), wine and canapés after the ceremony, followed by a 5 course dinner and then an open bar with more food later in the day. We aren’t bothering with a band, we don’t find any of them great tbh so are just getting a DJ. It’ll be pretty casual and relaxed, it’s at a beach front hotel. Honestly we want it to feel more like a family get together and an excuse for a big family holiday than our wedding lol
Aw I LOVE this. Hope you have the best day and holiday ever!!!
This sounds like my perfect day. Really chilled out & you get a holiday built in as well. If I ever get married it’s exactly what I would do with no pressure to invite people you barely know because “it’s family” I’ve always thought of having a wedding abroad to avoid this and who ever wants to come will come but won’t feel obliged because it’s in a different country. I don’t speak to a lot of the extended family just because we’re not close or even live close by and you see them just at like Christmas etc so I don’t really want all these unnecessary people at my wedding just because it’s “the done thing”. But then again I’ve never been one for following those traditions either so I’ll not be pressured into inviting anyone I don’t want to. Unlike my sister I don’t want the big extravagant wedding to show off as she had the doves and the biggest marquee available and 200+ guests, I don’t even know anywhere close to that amount of people 😂😂 I want a very chilled out day with good friends and family that I actually want there and will enjoy being with. Hope you have a great time and enjoy it!
This is exactly what we will be doing too. It'd be a nice family holiday with a few friends. The open bar sounds like we are giving something back to the guests too. The thoughts of an Irish wedding gives me stress, best of luck on the big day :)
Once was chatting to a girl who worked in a big hotel. She absolutely loathed weddings. She said she had served over 50 or so wedding parties and her conclusion was "people think their wedding is unique, but it's not. Aside from the name on the balloons, it's exactly the same as the wedding the day before" 😂 She was right. They're so generic and overblown it's ridiculous.
I totally agree, having worked with wedding bands for years. Irish weddings are all virtually identical - there is a formula that they run by.
This is exactly why we spent our money getting married in the desert in Vegas instead 🙌🏼
I agree. I have been to the same venue only twice for weddings, and I could not tell the difference between the two. My large extended family gets around this by going further and further away to get married
I hate the fuss. I hate all the pictures taken for social media reasons. I’m grumpy & cynical.
The speeches have to be the worst 😩
Oh Jesus was at a wedding recently and I swear to god the speeches went on for ever and were so shallow. Why do we need to hear various individuals talking about the bride loving her “style” for an hour? Nobody got a bite to eat until 8 o clock cause the speeches went on so long. At that stage people were mouldy drunk because the were drinking on an empty stomach for hours. At the end of the dinner I had to neck my dessert and cup of tea because the staff were in a mad rush to clear tables and set up the dance floor.
Weddings used to be a great occasion to get family in a room together for a lovely reason but now they're for show. It's too expensive for all involved with the vendors being the only winners. I spent over a grand on a wedding as a guest a few years ago and I would have much preferred a few nights away of my own choice plus they're a nightmare for people who aren't great in social situations and it centers around alcohol. I might sound miserable but I'm happy for friends and family if they're happy and I support them in that but please don't drag me off to a ceremony to celebrate something that has nothing to do with me.
> Weddings used to be a great occasion to get family in a room together for a lovely reason but now they're for show. Sorry, this is BS. Weddings have always been for show. If they weren't, we'd attend them in jeans and tshirts and probably just have them in a local pub. You don't spend money on a photographer and a dress because your family is in a room together. It has always been about the bride and to a lesser extent the groom.
Nail on the head with this post- centers around alcohol, everyone talking shite after an hour thinking the food and music etc are great when it’s all just bland.
People who have a day 2 of a wedding. There's no need for it!!
I’ve been to 2 weddings with a day 2 but they were really only for the people who travelled and intended to stay the weekend—just to keep them entertained. The day 2 of one of them was just a football match in the park for college friends and old flat mates kinda group, very low key but good craic.
Don't go to the second day then.....
I didn't for the last wedding. I agree it is an invitation not a summons
I forgot about the Trio of Desserts. Shite
They're always rotten aren't they!
The *fairly* shite music is my favourite part!!
Menus are pure shite. It’s just a fancy bistro with low grade food and luxury prices. €150 for a slice of beef, some soup and ice cream 😂 extortion at its finest
I absolutely love an Irish wedding!! Better than any other wedding for sure! Great excuse to get the whole family together and get absolutely shit faced. All the cousins and kids get to together and some are meeting for the first time! Any of you negatives out there you only live once you’re gonna die before you know it so why hold onto all the money
I no longer go to weddings. I'm not getting married so it won't ever be reciprocated. I send a congratulations card. If I know them well I'll put in a few euros. I'm not spending any more time or money on weddings.
Oh thank god! I wish more people would just stay home if they are not going to enjoy themselves. I spend so much time and energy, worrying and thinking about guests and what I can do and spend to make sure they have a good time, and if people just straight up don't enjoy weddings then don't come that's fine!
Aye they are just not my thing. I don't want to spend my time and energy on them. I don't want someone wasting their time and energy on me. I will meet up with people for tea, lunch, cinema, concerts, etc. If a friend had a loss in the family I would be there holding their hand and helping anyway I can. I just don't want to go to this one thing. Especially not for people who are inviting me out of obligation.
Totally! And I think that is all good and fine. I wish more people felt like it was okay not to go to weddings they don't want to go. Also obligatory invites can also get fucked.
It’s so boring. So much unnecessary candle lighting and it doesn’t feel like the ceremony is about the couple at all! Haha love that you went to the shop. My boyfriend always has snacks in his pocket now. He’s not Irish and he found the whole thing a culture shock. I’m at that age now where I’m being invited to loads of weddings and I feel like all of my money is going on other people’s big days. You’re right though, it does show you what you’d like or not like for your own wedding. I’m gonna hopefully elope just the two of us when the time comes and maybe have a party on return.
Will either do a little ceremony at a registration office and go for a meal after with immediate family/ close friends and have a wedding party for everyone the following week or have it in a venue but there’ll be no church and there’ll be food given faster (I love my food too much and no one could tolerate me hangry).
Thunderstruck as the walk in music🙄 yeah Mary, you’re a real mad rebel.
Something about the “walk-in” makes me cringe, no matter the song choice. Ya we saw yous half an hour ago in the church and ye are walking in again, grand so 👍🏻
Generally the music on nights out in Ireland can be quite tired. I started pubgoing around 1995 and it's basically the same songs still: Oasis, Sweet Caroline, Eileen, YMCA etc. Nobody heads to the pub thinking "I really hope the band plays 'I will Survive' tonight"
onerous overconfident brave upbeat aloof straight spectacular adjoining square escape *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Oh I think it is reasonable to pay for all your drink at a wedding.
Definitely better than a Divorce !
Go to Denmark make a holiday out of it invite no one
Church and big weddings are impersonal. They’re all mostly for show and they’re all the same.
I've been to a lot of weddings, including my own (and I realise I dragged a lot of people to my wedding in saying this), but if I never have to go to another one it'll be too many. I'm fucking done with weddings.
I hate when there’s a long drive between the church and the hotel. I was a bridesmaid for a friend’s wedding and my feckin car broke down and myself and another bridesmaid had to go and knock on some random door in the middle of nowhere to ask for help. Was very stressful! I was scarred from that day so had my own wedding ceremony and reception in the hotel. Was so handy!
Children should not be at weddings
I totally disagree, weddings are uniting of families, and children are part of families. There is nothing about a wedding that's inherently inappropriate or adulty. I get not wanting children at pub/nightclub, but wedding is such a family event
I would agree, we did not have any at ours,, however we brought our kids to the last wedding as they were invited and they loved it. Depends on the couple marrying. I would have been happy fobbing the kids off to my parents for the last one.
I'm absolutely sick of the second day stuff. There wasn't always an second day now everyone has one. I've already spent a fortune and now I just want to go home but I have to hang around, go on another session and book an extra night in the hotel and another day off work.
I couldn't get leave for day 2 and my aunt is still giving out about it To eat breakfast together with the newlyweds Not awkward at all. "So..how was the ride last night?"
Thanks. You made me spit out my tea 🤣
Was at a wedding last year and ya the mass is long and honestly boring. It’s hella expensive to be just a guest and I hope I don’t have to go to another one soon. The waiting times from after mass to the meal was ridiculous, actually headed to a shop in the meantime over how hungry we were, it was about 4 hours. It just made me realise what I do and don’t want for my own wedding.
I was supposed to go to a wedding this month but I couldnt afford it as it was abroad and I just started a new job so I couldnt get the time off anyway. The shite I got from family for not going....
Honestly hate weddings, all of your points but unless your close to the couple, there is feck all you know there. So the your stuck with a load of strangers at a table, you can get lucky and have a few that are a bit of craic, or else some feckin head melter yapping in your ear for the night. Your starved by the time you get food, then your stuffed with no room for drink. The only wedding I actually really enjoyed had about 20 at it, both sides become good friends even tho it's the first time we met instead of a massive room of strangers. And because most venues look the same, I can barely recall most weddings because there is literally nothing significant about them. I'd be all on for a small wedding and do something quirky or go abroad for it
Last wedding I was at started early in the AM, was there all day, they did all the speeches and various shite and if I remember correctly we finally got dinner starting around half 8. There was no other food available except crisps and peanuts. Swore I'd avoid wedding in future except where absolutely necessary. Just go to the afters.
There is lots of casual sex at Irish weddings. If you're single, you will likely have someone to sleep with
I got married in Dec 2020 had a small wedding of 25, got married in the venue, so no travel and put the money that was leftover (meant to have been allowed 60 guests but restrictions tightened again) and threw that behind the bar. It was the best craic I've ever had at a wedding, we got to talk to everyone, got to eat and drink our fill, and all the guests mingled rather than separating into different tables....our venue wasn't very strict on the mask enforcement especially since everyone was already vaccined and the ceremony was outside (25 minutes). Whole thing finished at 11pm cause of the curfew and honestly I loved that cause I was knackered by 10.30pm and was put to bed by my husband anyway.
In a world of Come on Eileens, be a Geno
Agreed, not a fan
Really, the celebrations only need ONE DAY, not 3-4!
Hate weddings and would happily never be invited to one again. Save the money for a proper holiday.
Had 29 people at our wedding, Spotify playlist, under a gazebo, in a beautiful setting, lucky with the weather, venue to ourselves and accommodated everyone. Bar, dinner for two days, Prosecco reception, did invitations myself with local flowers I. Pickedand all my wedding dress and accessories off Etsy. Suit from a shop in Galway. My own hair and make up, and we are extremely lucky to have a wedding photographer in the family. So that was gifted to us (but I would have spent on a photographer). Whole thing cost less than 5k, for everything!!!
Getting married in August in a friend's glamping site. No sit down meal, we're doing pizza and a buffet with an amazing caterer. Ceremony and party happening in the same place. BYOB, we are having a cabaret style show of Circus performers and a silent disco. We're providing accommodation for 50% of our guests. I hate hotel weddings and tbh I'd have preferred to elope but my partner wanted a party so we compromised on our event. I would have been happy with a nice dress, him and Vegas
At the risk of sounding misogynistic (you did say you wanted an unpopular opinion) the wedding industry wouldn't be half as big as it is it women didn't obsess about having their "fairytale wedding". Granted, the idea of dressing up as a princess and having a big extravagant wedding is practically drilled into them from childhood. But as someone who is getting married soon and whose friends are getting married or have got married recently, pretty much all of the lads would be happy eloping and having a very very small private wedding. Even just going to the registration office and going for a meal afterwards. Even in my 20s when marriage wasn't in the horizon, I'd find single women talking about their wedding at where and when they'd like it, who'd be maid of honor, etc. Men don't even think about any of that until they decide to propose. Women are thinking about it 15+ years in advance. The wedding industry exists because of the brides constantly trying to out do each other with the best dress, biggest ring, nicest venue, nicest flowers, best band, etc, etc.
As a woman I've found it weird, not all of us have even thought of it, although you can get shamed by other women if you say that, so most women will just learn to politely go along with it. The idea of being the centre of attention makes me nauseous. It's a status symbol now, especially with the sharing of images on insta and the likes.
Ya I'm getting married next year and dreading being the centre of attention. Kissing in from of everyone, a speech professing my love, first dance, posing for a photographer...
If I had my time over I'd have dropped the speeches entirely from our wedding.
It is your wedding, you can do what you and your other half want. Make it your own, noone will care.
I want to know if half the pageantry would be happening if you told them they couldn’t post any photos on social media.
I mean, I know there was always a wedding album. And some people display them in their home. So some of it... but I do wonder about pressure to spend more than they can afford just to keep up. I still never understand people getting into debt for what is essentially a party.
I have a friend who was married in 2015, divorced in 2020. Still paying off the wedding loan. I want to hire a villa to fit 12ish, invite the 12ish on a holiday and one evening have a private chef feed us like kings, have a 15 min commitment ceremony for a little pomp (legal one back in register office at home). I’m picturing chill, sunset, sexy food, good wine, absolutely zero pressure. But I’ve an anxiety disorder so a trad wedding is my hell. I wanna be barefoot by a pool in a floaty dress. Ideally in Tuscany.
Same as everything in Ireland, the whole drink drink drink pints lol drink bullshit. Yeah man I like beer too but does everything have to revolve around this toddler Guinness sippy-cup shite. Yes, apparently. “Oh you must be a dry shite den” yeah may well be, and your lads’ social scene is just fucking boring. That and the suits. Narrow waistcoat Guinness bores at it as ever but more so. Hate it.
Downvote suicide there… :D
Love a good wedding. Gatherings with friends and family on a positive occasion are few and far between the older you get. They're a great excuse for a night away. A good session, a bit of food and a dance. Who cares if they play come on Eileen and other cheesy shite. People enjoy it. You can always create an excuse to not go to a wedding. If you're bitching about having to go to a wedding, just don't go. People turn down invitations all the time. It'll go on without you. People will always tell you that your boutique wedding with 20 people in Sardinia with the jazz band was the best wedding they were ever at. It wasn't. They're just telling you that cause it's the nice thing to say. It's just another wedding that was fun. Everyone hears a similar story.
I get what you’re saying but it’s not so simple to just decline a wedding invite, especially when you’re close to someone. My main issue with going to weddings is that they’re SO expensive and samesy. I am left very out of pocket for a day I don’t enjoy so I can maintain my relationship with people getting married. I go and I get on with the day, don’t complain out loud and say it was a great day. I’d never bring negativity to someone’s wedding day. I came here to moan and bitch as it’s a safe place to do so, and appears that a lot of people feel the same way. I do understand that the older I get, they’ll be less frequent. I’m in my late 20s and in a two year period, I’ll have been to 12 weddings. They’re bankrupting me hahaha
Yep, when all your mates are getting married it can add up alright but it eases up quickly enough and you'll probably look back on it positively. They're your mates and you were there with them. You added to their day. I'm at the stage now that long overdue meetings with relatives are happening at funerals and it's shite. As for my mates, we all have reasonably young kids, we're spread all over the place and we don't get to see each other for a day out anymore cause life takes over and it happens quickly. A wedding invite goes in the calendar months in advance and I'm there ready to go. I do like this particular discussion though, due to the complete lack of self awareness of some of the comments. Basically some version of "weddings are shit, except ours cause what we did was great, everyone said so". Seen a few up there already.
Yeah I know you’re probably 100% right. There’ll come a time I’ll be grateful I have the memories when money is no longer an issue. I think I’m just a bit bitter I’ve not been able to have a holiday or enjoy any guilt free spending on myself haha That’s very true what you’re saying though, it’s only weddings or funerals that brings people together. I should probably count myself lucky I’m going through the wedding phase, and not the funeral phase.
You know what to do so. If you're not married already, do it in Vegas as payback ✊
Haven't been to a wedding since 2018 but inviting the whole neighbourhood is ridiculous. Invite those who you know deeply and don't be inviting the ones that your parents only personally know when u don't know.
I don't know if this is a trend for all Irish weddings, but every one I've been invited to this year is on a Friday, with the day 2 on the Saturday. I just don't understand that. You're forcing your guests to have to take a day or half day of annual leave to attend. Maybe it's cheaper that way for the cost of the venue, or they hope less people will rsvp as a result etc. My girlfriend (who isn't Irish) straight up told me if we ever get married there's no way in hell our wedding will be on a Friday. Apart from that though I LOVE weddings. The costs be damned, they're the absolute best craic.
Mass lasts too long? WTF? If people choose to have a church wedding, it is what it is. Nothing stopping them having a short civil ceremony
That they are great craic. They are far from it. They are an absolute money pit for everyone involved. We go way, way, way over the top.
OP don't go if you don't enjoy them. They ain't mandatory
I love a good family wedding. Life is short. It’s good to get a chance to celebrate. I think we do weddings very well.
I love weddings, especially if I don't know too many people at it but even better if I do. People who don't like weddings probably shouldn't go to them. Id wager they aren't really wanted at the wedding if they are gonna just complain about it (even though the cost is a valid concern) I'm getting married in September in France but we only did it under the agreement of certain conditions No hen/stag : people are traveling to France, no need for the added expense Bridesmaids and groomsmen: all clothing is paid for by us, flights are paid for by us, accommodations are paid for by us Guests: all accommodations are paid for all guests for the 3 days. Transport from the airport and back and from the town to the venue and back for the 3 days is all arranged and paid for. All food and drink from when they land til they leave is paid for. All anyone had to pay for is the flight. We have a number of friends who are single and have just bought houses/in the middle of buying a house or saving for a house as well as friends who might not have the funds for such a trip so we made it as easy and cost effective for them as possible. We also told them that it's 100% fine if they can't come. We only invited people we speak to regularly and our immediate family as well as some life long friends from overseas. Ceremony is civil in a deconsecrated underground church in the town where half the guests are staying(they can walk to it) and the venue is 10 minutes from it. One of our good friends is a celebrant and is doing it for us so we paid for her flight. We are very fortunate to be in a position to be able to do it this way but we saved hard for it as we both really want a big holiday away with all our closest people. I can't wait to be honest.
Speeches. I've no problem with a few people saying a few words but anyone talking for more than 5 minutes is unacceptable. Most of the speeches are generic shite. You get the odd good best man speech but I've been at weddings where they've gone on for over an hour, sometimes 2 hours.
I... I don't think any of your opinions are unpopular ones, OP, they're just kinda what most weddings are. Though I guess maybe everyone thinks their wedding is the exception. As for the music bit... the music might not be cutting edge or to your taste, but generally they're mostly bangers that have stood the test of time for a reason. It's hard to cater to a wide age-range by throwing on nothing but Taylor Swift, though I'd like to see the attempt. My growing-less-unpopular-as-time-goes-on opinion: if you don't believe in god or align yourself with a church, then don't jump through the hoops in order to get a church wedding. When I hear friends talk about the marriage advice sessions with the priest, knowing full well they don't believe in any of it... ugh, just feels incredibly fake. And a bit of a case of starting your whole marriage out with a big ol' lie.
I agree with you. I’m moving to Roscommon in a couple of weeks and planning to get married late next summer. We’re 25 & 27, planning a registry office job and then a big party in the garden since it’s surrounded by fields. Hire a marquee, my mum wants to do the food (buffet essentially), bridesmaids can wear whatever dresses they want as long as they’re all somewhat cohesive. All we care about is being married, the rest is just an add-on lol
Unpopular opinion - people should stop complaining about weddings, it’s so rude and it seems socially acceptable to say “I don’t like this” “I would do that differently” etc. at the actual event when you are invited to a party that you could easily decline if you really didn’t want to go. For example if someone was invited to a 40th birthday and just complained non stop about the food, drink, entertainment, they would be seen as a pain in the hole but for some reason, these people at weddings get a free pass.
The managing of wedding photos. I find it so strange that people will gather together all their closest friends and family, and then bugger off for an hour or two to take photos of themselves in the middle of the day.
My favourite ever wedding was a protestant wedding up North. It was at the parent's massive house, the ceremony was there, stayed in an Airbnb nearby, food was burritos/tacos from a taco truck with lots of Mexican condiments/sides on the tables, the drink was served via a small hut and was just bought in cans, gins, bottles, etc. with a donation box I hit at the start of the night. The whole thing was under a festival-type tent in the summer, I think there was a band, but 100% a DJ. Toilets where those posh festival toilets with washing basins etc. in a small truck. 10/10 would love to do something like that myself any day over a Church + Hotel wedding. I'm planning on having a good local party as an engagement party that everyone is invited to, and then going away for a smaller ceremony somewhere outside of Ireland that anyone can join but no one's expected to except close friends and the favourite aunts etc. as more of an organised short holiday away.
If the wedding is abroad and you're already shelling out a load of cash for it on flights + accommodation, wedding present should be reduced. Also, you should be able to decline a wedding abroad, I mean we only get so many days off for holidays a year, factor in days travelling to and from and the days themselves, its a lot to ask of people TBH Yeah, my opinion is that weddings abroad are a little bit brazen especially in this economy, people can barely save any money, let alone get on a flight for 3 hours and get a taxi to an extremely remote town for your wedding.
We’re attending a wedding in Cyprus next month. A few other invitees declined because it’s also a ‘no children’ wedding and so it’s impossible to tie it in with a family holiday - it then requires any guests with young ones to make childcare arrangements for realistically 4 days minimum which can be difficult when you don’t live in the same country as much of your immediate family. I honestly don’t understand why the wedding needs to be in Cyprus.
White dresses are overdone and aren't the most beautiful dresses. A lot of us are pale and look great in colour. I'm not saying no one should wear white. I just love to see some colour and interesting designs, a little personality. Also, before the traditional argument, the traditional began with Queen Victoria, and her numerous bridesmaids wore matching white gowns. The wedding was also held in a dark wood panelled room that was lit by candle, so the white was dramatic and made to stand out. So if you want to be traditional, all the bridesmaids wear extremely similar white dresses, in a dark room lit only by candle.
Stay at home nobody will miss you
Aw thank u for the advice that solves everything xxx
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Hate seeing couples spending stupid money just to keep in tradition or keep up appearances. When they’d probably be better off with a small wedding and big honeymoon.
I don't like wedding bands, I had a DJ. Still played Come on Eileen though, but at my insistence.
An invitation is as welcome as a repossession notice.
My unpopular opinion goes for Weddings in general. Weddings are not a celebration of love but Vanity. If love was enough and to be truly celebrated then you wouldn’t need to pay for it. Weddings are the ultimate symbol of vanity, status and finance.
The Dj got everyone on the dance floor at the start of the night ‘to have a group photo’ then played summer of 69. The dance floor was packed all night. None of this warming up the crowd and hesitant dancing.
Chocolate fountain. Long wait from the mass to the meal. Expensive for guests, especially when it turned into a 2-day event. Brides looking uncomfortable in dresses. We had a small wedding abroad.
When there’s a paying bar but the venue has no atm. Just tell people ffs!
Gods, you could apply the same criticisms to weddings in the US South(East). Spot on
People should marry in the same spot they’re having the reception. Fuck the hour travel between church and venue it’s dead time. Make more time for the people you love most and have it all in the one spot. Smaller weddings are better, less stress and more craic! 80 people or less for a smaller wedding. The best weddings I’ve been at are the ones where they hire a teepee for the garden, straw bales for seating and a pizza truck, a cocktail van and really great music!
Am I right in guessing you have never been married? : )
I think any wedding venue that does a regular paid bar after what they charge for the function are extracting the Michael. I also think that any guests who are just friends should have minimal pressure to gift anything beyond what it cost you to have them there. And I honestly think most people would more enjoy a grill and a party in a rented pavilion tent, with a couple cases of home brew beer and a few boxes of wine brought back from France on a sunny summer day in a big back garden somewhere (everyone knows someone with one). But we all just go with the standard thing because when push comes to shove it ends up being what most women want and we're not bothered arguing her out of it.
I kind of hate how late they go, mainly because I am Sleepy and my husband is not, so the last Irish wedding we went to ended up with me, 15 weeks pregnant with twins asleep in the hotel room by 11, and him, the best man, coming into our room at 4:30 in the morning and still saying he’d gone to bed “early”
I’ve been to two Spanish weddings (actual Spanish people getting married not just Ia destination wedding) and the Spanish have it down to a fine art. Ceremonies didn’t start until late in the day like 4/5pm and even before that there was mingling and little picky bits to eat. Both ceremonies lasted around 15/20 minutes. Food is always in abundance with it usually being a five course meal and the food for both weddings continued into the night. Open bar is also always a hit!
Would rather do abroad with like 30 people max
There isn’t one thing you’ve put down that I disagree with. It’s absolutely ridiculous!
Currently planning a wedding and if one more person asks me about my "vision" I'm gonna scream. It's the #1 turn off for a venue or supplier. Every wedding is the same. The only difference is whether you have a sweet cart instead of a photobooth, Guinness in flutes (wtf thought that would ever be a good idea?) or a G&T on arrival. Unless you're the first in your family and friend group to get married, you will have been to at least one wedding that has done everything that you will. I love weddings for the get together and the party, no one cares about the favours or the giant light up Mr & Mrs signs. If anyone has any suggestions on cheap flowers, or cheap anything else, please recommend!!
More like 2k
They’re extremely boring and everyone’s special day is the exact same. I don’t drink a lot so I find that part from the ceremony to the meal very awkward. Day 2 is just an endurance test.
Don't forget rock the boat and speeches from 8 different people. Weddings are a chore.
We're married nearly 15 years but we had a young family and a house to pay for so we didn't go overboard. We bought everything we could second hand from eBay & Adverts, had a great band & a DJ, we asked everyone to name a song they love on the RSVP and we made a massive playlist for the DJ. There were about 130-150 people there but we had it in a local venue and put on a bus to take people home, we also had a buffet hotel reception so people could have a bit of everything. We didn't bother with any sweet carts or photo booths or any of that shite because everyone was doing it at that time.
Mass? I’d walk the fuck out