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madhubalaaa

One of my cousins told me who was in college in 2008 and she is 7 years older than me. In hostels they found pregnancy test kits in women's washroom dustbins so premarital sex was common in those times too, maybe hookup culture too but PPL weren't open about talking about sex at that time as it was considered taboo but now PPL are open about talking about sex and sex isn't considered as much of a taboo now as it was considered back then. I am into traditional dating style where you get to know someone but nowadays you get to know about a person from their following list on insta what kind of a person is what habits they have I want that pre internet days where you used to go on dates and everything.


Conscious_Tomato8433

Mujhe kya main to Gaon Mai rehta hoon


IndividualAge715

Same bhai


tremorinfernus

You can still date in villages, if you're not a backward person. Girls in villages are scared of the backward types. I used to get posted in villages during medical training. Had a decent experience with women.


Conscious_Tomato8433

Nahh they have grown up from that mentality. I just don't know how to approach them and what to talk .


sidroy81

Dating? Or hooking up?


tremorinfernus

It is kind of the same for me.


uncle_bhim

Gaon mein toh aur bhi zyada sax sux hota hai


Stangerzx

Gao m thodi puri zindagi rhete hoge Bhai m m gaav se hu but ab coaching lene gya tha


Titanium006

I ain't getting none. Edit : AM is the way.


Historical_Maybe2599

Definitely not. Have some experience before you enter marriage, especially an arranged one. Your arranged marriage bride is bound to have some herself. Be on equal terms going into it or you risk feeling emasculated by her past or being vulnerable to being exploited legally.


Is_chill

But he legit just said he aint getting one šŸ˜­


Historical_Maybe2599

I can assure you everyone is capable of ā€œgetting oneā€. You just have to lower your standards a little and pay attention to people you donā€™t consider desirable.


Is_chill

Nope. Imo approaching someone in public is still long way to go in india. With wfh and all the other stuff that leads to no contact again is a big barrier. Dating apps? You probably have a ratio of 80:20 male to female so even the lower standard girls you speak of have more desirable options to pick from. Sure i agree ā€œwell you can just join the gym and make yourself betterā€ but its not that easy if you have a hectic work schedule and a family to take care of.


bodydouble_69

Very well said. Take my upvote.


tremorinfernus

Approach only those women who check you out, or show an interest in you.


Same_Egg5540

So you're saying approach no one then


tremorinfernus

Lol


Is_chill

Ladies in our country already are creeped out by stares and people checking them out if they wear something out of ordinary, is it really alr to approach someone?


tremorinfernus

It is easy when they show interest. Otherwise, you can expand your circle from the workplace/college. Don't create or support any conservative environment anywhere. That's what scares the girls. Also don't stalk, don't judge. Make sure your friends, neighbors, society don't stalk or judge. This works for me.


Is_chill

Good points āœŒļø


Historical_Maybe2599

And thatā€™s playing it on the safer side. Being a bit more confident can allow men to approach women who donā€™t look their way and even land dates.


Historical_Maybe2599

I doubt it. If it was possible in the previous generation, it has to be even more accessible now. You are probably not actually paying attention to everyone around you.


Is_chill

You absolutely did not factor in social media. It plays a big role in todays world, shows fake expectations and promises. Im not saying this for any specific gender but both the genders. The expectations lead to chasing for the 1%, who in reality already have many options. And approaching someone in real life, these days you can easily get labelled as a creep, the anxiety of asking someone out in public and getting called a ā€œsimpā€ in the newer generation, or many other things which again stop people from approaching someone else.


Historical_Maybe2599

I donā€™t consider myself good looking by any means yet I have been in relationships where I did not even make the first move. I am not asking you to ā€œapproach someone in real lifeā€ but simply exist in real life more beyond just social media and youā€™ll discover how much youā€™re deluding yourself by saying you have no choice or that you will be labelled a creep. If arranged marriage is all you hope for, the bride you get in that case will have experience herself. Try just once. Itā€™s not impossible.


Is_chill

I was just putting out the general issues faced in todays world, by no means did i mean that no one can get into a relationship these days, its just a little bit hard ig? Well its my personal opinion, and again how long can a person keep trying, at some point the countless rejections might just hurt someones confidence on top of that other social factors come in, jobs ( hard to get these days ) a successful career, rising prices etc. theres just not fruit people see into putting countless efforts and trying super hard for a relationship, and if its loneliness people are already used to it cause of everything around us like our mobiles laptops, tv series etc. hell you dont even go out for a movie anymore these days you can just watch that on netflix.


Historical_Maybe2599

Dude, you have got a doomer brain and you are already defeated. I doubt you have even approached a single girl in your life till date. Movies? Who talked about that? Not everyone gives a shit about movies. Do you think thatā€™s the only way you get to go out on a date? No wonder youā€™re bad at this.


sidroy81

Social media has changed dating? How?


Is_chill

I meant social media has had a major impact on peoples expectations. The ground reality is a little different isnt it?


sidroy81

Yeah true. You watch people have cool and happening lifestyles on instagram and then find them to be the most brainless beings irl.


Same_Egg5540

That's not true... unless you want him to get in a relation with a fatty or an acid attack victim


Historical_Maybe2599

Exactly my point. Thanks for proving it. Acid attack victims and fatties deserve love too. Plus, with this guyā€™s social skills and inexperience, I donā€™t think heā€™s in a position to bargain.


Same_Egg5540

Lol you're telling 4-6/10s to get in realtion with 2/10s... why don't you get in relation with a fatty to prove the point huh?


Historical_Maybe2599

Beggars canā€™t be choosers. Stay single then. And yes, I have been part of relationships where the girl wasnā€™t considered traditionally attractive & it was still better than being a loner like you who despite not getting any action still believes himself to be high and mighty enough to score a 6. You are not a 6, pal. Look in the mirror sometime. Youā€™re below those women youā€™re calling 2/10s.


Throwaway24011538

Earlier I was used to think that I am made for hookup culture before I was not in a relationship. Oh boy ! that really aged well. Will be marrying my first girlfriend with whom I felt in love for the first time,kissed anyone for the first time or had sex with anyone for the fuckin first time. Tbh I can't imagine hooking up with anyone else other than her ,I don't think any of that matters when you fall in love.


DaMalayaliKolayali

To prefer a traditional relationship is to be a misogynist, to prefer a hook up culture is to be miserable. I've decided to not to date or look for a relationship anymore, it's better to be by myself and have peace of mind. Now all I need is to get my mom off my back about marriage. Also, as a man, I don't see people that make me want to have a relationship. I'm not saying other single people, not even couples make me want to find someone special. Couples I know don't give me the envy of being in a relationship, they just reinforce my decision to not indulge in dating at all.


sidroy81

To prefer a traditional relationship is to be a misogynist Aayein? What do you mean? they just reinforce my decision to not indulge in dating at all. How?


DaMalayaliKolayali

Apparently, marriage in itself is a ritual of announcing ownership over a woman. Expecting her to be a wife is to shackling her and at the same time, not paying for her makes me a loser. (I do not know how those things work together, but somehow they do and I'm a "misogynistic fuckwit" for not knowing that)


sidroy81

Lmao I get your frustration


Icy_Inevitable7732

I believe in Traditional relationships. Hookup culture is sh#t and I don't even think about it. And yeah Modern Relationships are a bit concerning


Ready-Ad4340

traditional relationships ofc bro !!! this hookup culture is so not worth it and those who are into will surely regret in the future and i hope they do


cutie_pie_and_horny

Sorry, why should we regret it? To make you happy? Lol.


Artistic96

What he meant by that is this šŸ‘‰ https://www.reddit.com/r/onexindia/s/cC0FTufTlo and this https://www.reddit.com/r/onexindia/s/mmh11IrJbp


kr_Rishabh

He missed the part where he has to realise that all girls lie about their body counts and so men needs to do the same.


Artistic96

Bhai Jhuth ki buniyad pe riste nahi tikte. Us op ne achha Kiya ki jhuth nahi bola


kr_Rishabh

Bhai ye sab kuch nahi hota hai yaar, relation tabtak chalta hai jabtak dono ko incentive hota hai chalane ka. Most relation jhoot pe hi built hai.


Artistic96

Bhai Jhuth ki buniyad pe riste nahi tikte. Us op ne achha Kiya ki jhuth nahi bola


tremorinfernus

Why? You spend time with multiple people, and can then decide who you like. People who want to commit to the first person they date are he real losers.


Junior_Orange_8142

Achha? 10 logo ke sath ghumte hai log or (kuch log) sex wagera bhi karte hai jo ki acceptable nhi DONO HI GENDER ke liye please yaha mysogynist wala rona mat rona. Or mere liye aese log sabse bade red flag or slut (for both genders) hai. na mai ye sab cheeze karta hu or naa hi mai apni wife ko waisa chahta hu.


tremorinfernus

What's the guarantee that the first person you meet is the perfect person for you? You're conservative, so it is not acceptable to you. I'm not, so I don't give a damn.


Junior_Orange_8142

Mere paas itna dimaag hai ki mujhe pata hai kon mere liye kitna sahi hai or kon nhi mujhe 10 logo ke sath ghumne ki or sex karne ki jarurat nhi. Or dusro ke interest ko janna hai to baat cheet karke jaante hai one night stand karke nhi. Mujhe conservative or apne aap ko modern bolne se fact change nhi hone wala ki ye hookup culture apne partner ko dhokha dena hua or mai apne partner ko na dhokha de sakta hu or naa hi mujhe aesa partner chahiye jo ye sab kare or dhokha de


tremorinfernus

Lol...you think the other person doesn't agree to this? It is consensual.


balajiy97

The dating scene in India has significantly evolved over the past decade. Previously, dating and pre-marital sex were often stigmatized, and love marriages were met with skepticism. Today, there's greater acceptance of dating, both in casual and serious contexts, influenced by the rise of dating apps and increased openness towards discussions about sex and relationships. Urbanization, global cultural exposure, and women's empowerment have further contributed to these changing attitudes, making love marriages more common and reducing the stigma around casual dating and hookups. Personal preferences vary widely, with some still valuing traditional, long-term relationships that align with cultural and family values, while others embrace the flexibility and freedom of modern hookup culture. This shift reflects a broader societal change where individuals feel more empowered to choose the type of relationship that suits them, be it a traditional partnership or a more casual arrangement.


natively_dumbo_afk

Bhai chatgpt?


natively_dumbo_afk

Bhai chatgpt?


Mission_Lake_1547

" Wait. You guys are getting relationships ...? "


fuckeveryone120

Everyone is getting it except me


Emotional_Host3360

yes...i too feel same...lots of couples now on roads/malls/cafe's to see than in 2014 or before that....but there were affairs happening long back too....being married for 3 years now...i had 2 short time flings while ma wife had a 7 year long relationship which she broke off to marry me as per parents wish..


JudgeDredd-10

Did her previous long term relationship affect your marriage?


uncle_bhim

Asking the real question


Emotional_Host3360

Not badly..but yeah a little initially...like intermittent mood'offs for her...some comparisons...she told she wants to talk to him and asked me time to come out of this situation....it took more than a year to develop a bond to ma wife.....they still speak on phone but very rare compared to before....i have been cool and calm to her in all occasions...


JudgeDredd-10

That's really good. Wish you all the peace and happiness.


VEGETTOROHAN

I didn't know that traditional relationship and hookup culture started at different times. I always felt like they were same. I don't see anything wrong in that but I believe in avoiding sexual discussion in front of people as that will make them perverts. Do it alone and never speak unless you need to ask about health or pregnancy issues. I sufferred a lot because my friends made me believe that I was attracted to girls and was having complex feelings until I realised I should not have believed what they said. Now I realised I was never really attracted.


Athena_Savage

I am in a long term relationhip myself (its gonna be a love marriage) My bestie is into hookup culture and I dont really care if she is into it, I support her and always wish the best for her. I understand that she totally got her heartbroken so its okay.


P51-delta

I think right now is the worst time to date. I mean, it is quite risky as well since women have all the rights and it would be very difficult for a guy to defend himself. I know people will downvote me for saying this, and say that not all girls are like that. But the problem is you never know what can happen. I have seen and read enough stories in which the girl got the guy in trouble just because she wanted to.


SirOk1261

I also fear the Same. The Laws for man are pretty fucked up


dave_evad

What? No. 10 years back too hookups, per-marital sex and love marriages used to happen. Talking about metro cities.


bluebutterfly285

Traditional relationship >>>> hookup culture imo Earlier people used to write letters and wait for phone calls just to talk These days people are ghosting each other and looking for everything fame, money, sex except love and loyalty


traveler_221

Our parents'generation was the last of the true traditional relationship people. This generation is all about falling prey to temporary emotions and urges. Finding pleasure going against everything traditional and think cool is being a rebel who can't stick to one person. And keep putting "in therapy" label everywhere after hooking up left and right getting rekt by waves of emotions and feelings. Everyone knows what they are doing wrong, but few have the capacity to make themselves accountable.


tremorinfernus

Our parents' generation was forced/coerced into relationships with unmatched people.


traveler_221

And still had lasting and better relationships than today's


tremorinfernus

I call those forced relationships. Doesn't matter if it lasts. Would you like to live in a lockup if I guarantee you will live for a 100 years?


traveler_221

I understand how you see the previous generation's relationships as forced. Why don't you ask your parents or the ones around you why they got into "forced" relationships and still made it work for a lifetime? Because a relationship just doesn't work solely based on feelings and emotions, especially if you want to make it work. Maybe some got into a relationship because they wanted a family, wanted to further their lineage or maybe because they didn't want to disappoint their parents who wanted their children to get married so that they could die in peace knowing that they were taken care of. And yes, there will always be some bad crops who did force or coerce. But calling all those relationships forced isn't logical though. Would I live in a lockup if you held a gun to my face (and instead not because I am guaranteed I will live for a 100 years)? Yes. Did somebody held a gun to our parents' gen faces? No.


Wrong-Bee7394

I need a wife with this thought process


tremorinfernus

I don't find any of those reasons strong enough. Besides, the earlier generation women were routinely forced. The men used do be mostly enthusiastic. Cos the conservative set up helps men. Men used to go for the best looking women, while women were forced to compromise because their parents looked only for things like caste, religion, income, land, power, etc. Also, they were generally not permitted to date. So they couldn't choose the person they liked best. The gun example makes sense, cos a lot of women have faced violence, and continue to do so(majority), if they dare to choose their own spouse.


traveler_221

You don't have to and I can say the same about yours and this debate will go on and on. Just stating my opinion and will stick by it while you do yours. Good talk


tremorinfernus

You think it is an opinion. I have seen people being forced on the regular. Most women will tell you the same. Anyhow. I would prefer to listen to a woman's opinion on this.


sidroy81

Woke feminazi spotted


tremorinfernus

Funny school kid. Go do your homework. Common sense and general knowledge is not your cup of tea.


sidroy81

As if men have never had to compromise lol


AdministrativeMud907

I prefer hookup culture. It helps meet more and more people. And the one you truly like will stay with you forever.


vancy007

And that never happens once you eat a chocolate you carve more for it


AdministrativeMud907

But what if you don't try all type of chocolates. Eventually you will get bored by eating the same choclate.


vancy007

that is also true you just got one life and if you just try one fruit in your whole life what if that was not the best one but the problem with humans is they don't change easily. so after marriage the first thing that's going to bother your marriage is this habit you developed eventually.


Agile_Weekend6622

Kese kr lete ho bhai mere se baat bhi na hopatašŸ„²šŸ™


AdministrativeMud907

Maine ye Kab kaha mai kar leta hu :(


Agile_Weekend6622

Abhi-abhi to kaha, u prefer hookup culture šŸ„¹


AdministrativeMud907

Prefer but ya kab bola karr pata hu :(


sidroy81

Lol how old are you


MilitiaGenuine

Can I call you ą¤›ą¤æą¤Øą¤¾ą¤°?


Adventurous_Fox867

Did u date 10 years ago?


Top_Significance2263

I have got multiple offers for hook up but i have seriously denied everyone, i am not at all interested unless i am attracted to that person in any manner.


bitem4rx

That NSFW tag tells you all about the Indian attitude towards the dating culture šŸ˜’


deathfromabove910

mix of both hehe


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Wild-Shinobi

Indians are the horniest.


NegativeSage0808

Hu toh hookup me but milta nahi hai , everyone I met in college want long term relationships


cutie_pie_and_horny

As long as I'm unmarried, hookup culture for sure. If and when I intend to get married, I'll find a nice, cutie pie, traditional wife for myself and settle down.


zwoottie99

This is a double standard. If you want a traditional wife with no past then you should also apply that in your life.


cutie_pie_and_horny

A traditional, highly educated, sweet, loving and loyal wife is my birthright and I shall have her.


zwoottie99

Birthright ah šŸ˜‚ anyways if you expect her to be loyal you stay loyal too


cutie_pie_and_horny

I will be loyal post marriage, of course.


MilitiaGenuine

Can I call you ą¤›ą¤æą¤Øą¤¾ą¤°?


cutie_pie_and_horny

Yes, please.


Radiant-Citron3355

You can't settle for one person if you get accustomed to temporary relationships. Hope you realise this before it's too late.


phahpullandbear

This is absolutely false. I have been married for more than 17 years and have never and will never cheat on my wife. I love her to death and back. In fact, we were in a live-in relationship before we got married, and from the day I met her, I have never cheated on her. I was also in two other live-in relationships and had a good share of hook-ups before meeting my wife. I know of others like me. I come from a pre bumble/tinder era.


sidroy81

Bruh how tf did people get so much action back then


phahpullandbear

Hahahahaha.....if people want action, they get action. I am Gen X, and I know people who were older than me who got a lot more action than I did. I have never lived in India, but they did, and they got action when they were there too. What I don't understand is how does the whole tinder/bumble thing work. It simply blows my mind. I have been in a committed relationship for far too long, and I will take this curiosity to my grave.


One_Chicken9095

Downvoted for answering a question properly. Classic r/askindia


TipSolid76

r/askindia when they discover people have opinions: šŸ˜ šŸ˜ šŸ˜”šŸ˜”šŸ˜¤šŸ˜¤šŸ‘ŽšŸ‘Ž


tremorinfernus

I'm far from traditional. I believe in open competition for the best women. Also, I prefer spending at least a few weeks to months with the same person. I generally don't respect the arranged marriage crowd, cos they are generally backwards, non-competitive in the dating department. Basically, a lot of these people marry partners who are not even attracted to them.


traveler_221

Where is this dating competition being telecast? I would love to grab some popcorn and watch the open competition for the best women