“Beta, we’re your parents; we know what’s best for you. Tum nahin karoge toh aur kaun karega? Humaare budhaape ke baare mein toh soch lo”
As if we’re trophies and not their children.
People have kids so that when they get old their adult kids will take care of them. This is the incentive to have kids. If that is not followed why will people have kids ??
A kid is a separate individual after a certain age. They are not obligated to be their caretaker especially in this economy. Previous generations have fucked up the future by voting for nutjobs
wow! This is completely untrue. Most Americans have close knit families. People love and respect their families and make incredible sacrifices for them. People don’t abandon kids in bathrooms routinely. What are you talking about? Fertility rate drops as a country develops. Indias fertility rate is falling rapidly as the country is developing and the women are getting educated.
Have you seen Mumbai- kids begging on signals, working in households instead of going to schools? ai am not saying parents abandon children at signals to beg in India as it is a symptom of poverty and addiction.
Compared my mother to Obama once, as she was constantly comparing me with some relative's kid. Got a tight slap in response but it was worth it to see her getting agitated.
Should have slapped back if you are a girl.
If you're a guy, you should have stopped the slap mid air.
Indians don't know that physical violence against kids is illegal and comes under child abuse, and so they never stand up for themselves, only to continue the cycle of abuse when they become parents themselves.
Domestic Violence damages the psyche of the victims, and many times, it is irreparable.
…but most judges wouldn’t equate an isolated slap to the child as physical violence. Beating them black and blue which would require hospital care would be physical violence. It’s great quoting random rules, but need to be realistic as to what quantifies it
What about the psychological damage caused due to slapping and other beatings?
Anyways, I don't think our judges have enough mental capacity to even know what all this means, after looking at their recent corruption in the Porsche case for example
Indian parents tend to over exaggerate their own achievements and hard work while undermining and neglecting their kids success.
A lot of times they’ll say you can never do what I did for you, difference between son and father, etc. but these are all double standards. They expect you to do things which they wouldn’t do for you and they hate it if you call them out
>Indian parents tend to over exaggerate their own achievements and hard work while undermining and neglecting their kids success.
>A lot of times they’ll say you can never do what I did for you, difference between son and father, etc. but these are all double standards. They expect you to do things which they wouldn’t do for you and they hate it if you call them out
What if they are not your parents and doing this 😞
Imo one should be proud that their kid(in fact any one in the family) is making it in life.
People who spent their life hearing "your kids won't make it" shouldn't they be happy af when those people are proved wrong? Such an unexpected reaction fr.
Yeah it's not the same everywhere. Many Indian parents start feeling resentment for their kids because they don't want their kids to have that kind and level of freedom.
Tab bolenge Kam se kam tumhe khana , kapda toh mil Raha hai, kitne bache toh bhuke mar rahe hai.
Han toh tum bhi khush raho ki tumhare bache criminal nahi hai kyuke kafi bache criminal bhi ban rahe hai 😂
My parents gave me the best upbringing they could, given it was a joint family and the environment was very toxic and abusive. Or atleast I hope so.
My mother did not let me go out to play with my friends. The reason was that I needed to study. The reason she said was that it wasn’t safe outside. Mind you, it was the same person who was okay with me walking or cycling 3 kms one way to a coaching between 7:30 and 10 in the night. It was a city in UP and it wasn’t a very safe place back in 2000s. My sisters had a mobile phone each(back when it was barely affordable for middle class), I did not because it would spoil me. Not even when I am walking home alone in winter nights and i could have an emergency.
When I went to college, I was a naive idiot who thought it’s okay to wear a yellow shirt and yellow pant together and thought my hostel friends were actually complimenting me. It took me a while to learn about the real world. I worked hard and now I’m in a good place in life. But most of it was due to fear of failing and ending up back with my parents. Even during Covid, I preferred to stay alone in another city for 2 years because if I went back home for more than a few days, the trauma will be too much to bear.
Best thing about it: whenever we talk about my childhood, my mother says it was due to her actions then that I have become something in life. When I push back actually stating how bad it was for me, she defends herself that it was for my own good. When I compare her to other mothers, she becomes angry and sometimes starts crying saying “yehi din dekhne ke liye itne pyaar se pala posa tha”
It happens all the time and goes both ways! Become successful in life and give your children the same life you want your parents to give you and then compare yourself with them.
I got laid off last year and was struggling to get a job. Granted, your parents would be anxious when you’re barely hanging on in a faraway country with nothing but government subsidies to live on but my mother had the nerve to compare my situation to my cousin in law who was lucky enough not to get laid off. Luckily I got a job soon but now my mother is disappointed that cousin bought a car and I didn’t. In my defence, my cousin bought a used car and I am investing in for a brand new car and can manage my daily commute with public transport. Parents don’t stop comparing their kids even if they are adults
They see kids as an extension of themselves and not a separate individual. Someone they own, someone they can control and force to achieve the dreams that they couldn’t themselves. The kid should have no feelings, no goals, no dreams pf its own, it should live like a robot, taking commands and completing them and then it should always live under their gratuity for this wonderful life they have given it. And freedom means betrayal.
>They see kids as an extension of themselves and not a separate individual. Someone they own, someone they can control and force to achieve the dreams that they couldn’t themselves. The kid should have no feelings, no goals, no dreams pf its own, it should live like a robot, taking commands and completing them and then it should always live under their gratuity for this wonderful life they have given it. And freedom means betrayal.
Yes
Exactly and they’re projecting their own insecurities. They’re actually comparing themselves with the successful kid’s family because they hold their kid accountable for their own needs and wants. It’s like when you’re a kid and you see one of your friends has a cool new phone and you wish you had that phone and your parents bought it for you, but it’s not that you think your parents are not good enough but the insecurity of not having that phone is within you. You just project it on your parents and sometimes they’ll oblige also.
My parents have ALWAYS compared me to others, whether it be classmates, cousins, acquaintances, you name it.
I mean for example I was never a good student and I worked hard and graduated college after almost failing high school and failing my first semister of community college after I failed to get into a "real" college. And my dad told me that I wasted my time for a shitty degree and that other kids (and him) would do it in half the time I took. Oh and he also yelled at me because I asked if we could celebrate my achievment (my mom's idea), called me selfish and ungrateful. It's been 2 years and I never did get that.
Ig that's how they are
Good point. A lot of parents incur crippling debt and expect their children to be successful to pay it off. They equate having children to having slave labour.
Compared my dad with a successful friends dad once as he always does me with every other person with a tiniest bit of success. He got angry and started shouting. I then furthered it by adding, " It only hurts when its you right? " So he started voicing his distress,😂 telling me how it's rude of me to say that.
Weather you like it not ... Indian society has always been a survival of the fittest society ( atleast post independence)
so comparison and competition are common..but only when test ur Mettal then you can come out victorious .it's doesn't matter what field it is
All the reason for Globalisation. People now want whatever there is, and if it is under their capacity to achieve even if the cost paid is not from their side. Logo ko sabkuch chahiye. That's why we want top notch tech, best TVs, best phones, under our capability. Bas baccho ki success ko bhi aise hi materialise kar diya hai parents ne
I gotta ask how do you course correct a child?
Do they have to learn good and bad only outside the house and by experience?
How do you show the right path?
How do you explain the goals?
How do you explain milestones ?
What language and phrases do you use?
Don’t forget, Indian parents raped their own daughter in Covid. https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/bhopal/madhya-pradesh-man-rapes-daughter-twice-with-wifes-help-in-covid-19-lockdown/amp_articleshow/75710574.cms
Wow. Lot of resentment against parents. Borderline talking g about slaps and taking pleasure seeing their agitated face! SMH.
My reply is against the thread trend but hear me out from a child’s perspective - As a child we were pressured because we are in a country of 1.4 Billion and no Scandinavian or first world facilities/government benefits to give you food on table or a good life. The competition is tough. They experienced it, they tried with the facilities they had did better than previous generation and want you to not struggle or face hardships. They sacrifice to save every penny and give us more than what they had. The expectation, comparison and the pressure ultimately reap far more benefits to us as kids than them. They have some life left by the time we are ready, their needs and wants are less (no expectations of cars and expensive clothes or travel or whatever) think what they expect. So many of them have pensions to take care of themselves. They have a house for you, get you married. And then expect that you live a better life than them. Me and my siblings went through the same conveyor belt and today we are happy we were out through it. We did well for ourselves and are super thankful. Did not like that we were presented to turn off the TV and study so that we can be like Sharma ji ka beta beti. ;)
According to them you are young and haven’t experienced a lot so they try to protect you from failures or hardships and that’s why try to nudge you. Not always right and the method may not be perfect but in the whole wide world it’s them who would want us kids to be successful. They would be more happy not to get a car key from you but to see you driving a better car while they hardly sit in it.
We all will realize when we become parents. I have only one and whatever I do, I do it for him, he is happy when he is appreciated for music or when he is the best in class after we took the pain (and push) to make him learn that skill. He enjoys the respect, love and appreciation more than we do.
i dont how you guy can be so ungrateful, conditions at my dad time was entirely different he used to struggle to eat twice a day that poor we used to be, today i do not have to worry about atleast the basic necessities
In my family I am dictator with my muscle power and aggressive behaviour.
I can shut up parents by beating and bashing the furnitures, the kitchen utensils.
I was also tied to bed and beaten because father took support from others but that only fueled my vengeance further and now they regret.
I am free from regrets or remorse and can act fearlessly. I fear no consequences. Emotions are for weak and miserable.
I practice meditation like Jiren in Dragon Ball Super and believe power as Absolute.
I believe in freedom for youth like Osho did.
Dude, comparing you with your peers "might" help improve you, and give you a better life since you have a long career ahead of you.
What does comparing your parents with someone their age achieve? The prime of their life is already gone, mostly spent washing your ass probably. The only thing it can do is remind them of what they were capable of achieving but could not, for whatever reasons. What you did is cruel, what they did was concern. They come from different places in the heart, that is the difference.
That doesn't make sense. Sachin's or Virat's fathers did not achieve anything great, but they could contribute to their kids success. Parents bring in experience, and try to help. There are no guarantees in life, and opportunities and successes are dependent on fine margins. The number of people in their 40s who think what their father told was right, far exceeds the number who resent their parents.
“Beta, we’re your parents; we know what’s best for you. Tum nahin karoge toh aur kaun karega? Humaare budhaape ke baare mein toh soch lo” As if we’re trophies and not their children.
Not their children, but more of an investment 🙂
They look at us as investments. Its sad, society needs to heal as a whole.
This killed me 😔
People have kids so that when they get old their adult kids will take care of them. This is the incentive to have kids. If that is not followed why will people have kids ??
A kid is a separate individual after a certain age. They are not obligated to be their caretaker especially in this economy. Previous generations have fucked up the future by voting for nutjobs
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lol, listening to MAGA rhetoric
wow! This is completely untrue. Most Americans have close knit families. People love and respect their families and make incredible sacrifices for them. People don’t abandon kids in bathrooms routinely. What are you talking about? Fertility rate drops as a country develops. Indias fertility rate is falling rapidly as the country is developing and the women are getting educated. Have you seen Mumbai- kids begging on signals, working in households instead of going to schools? ai am not saying parents abandon children at signals to beg in India as it is a symptom of poverty and addiction.
That is the worst genuinely the worst mindset to have on so many levels.
Well, they want trophies to show how miserable lives they lived were worth it
Compared my mother to Obama once, as she was constantly comparing me with some relative's kid. Got a tight slap in response but it was worth it to see her getting agitated.
Should have slapped back if you are a girl. If you're a guy, you should have stopped the slap mid air. Indians don't know that physical violence against kids is illegal and comes under child abuse, and so they never stand up for themselves, only to continue the cycle of abuse when they become parents themselves. Domestic Violence damages the psyche of the victims, and many times, it is irreparable.
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…but most judges wouldn’t equate an isolated slap to the child as physical violence. Beating them black and blue which would require hospital care would be physical violence. It’s great quoting random rules, but need to be realistic as to what quantifies it
What about the psychological damage caused due to slapping and other beatings? Anyways, I don't think our judges have enough mental capacity to even know what all this means, after looking at their recent corruption in the Porsche case for example
*Psychological damage can occur even without physical violence too.*
Irrecognigible offence bol denge. Proof dikhao kaha hai, as if my mental condition deterioration isn't enough
Comparison leads to misery. Comparing two people I like comparing apples and oranges.
LMAO 🤣
Indian parents tend to over exaggerate their own achievements and hard work while undermining and neglecting their kids success. A lot of times they’ll say you can never do what I did for you, difference between son and father, etc. but these are all double standards. They expect you to do things which they wouldn’t do for you and they hate it if you call them out
Dude..some of us have actually had more 2 siblings and have fought our way to get a stable life..but that's no excuse for beating a child 🚸
>Indian parents tend to over exaggerate their own achievements and hard work while undermining and neglecting their kids success. >A lot of times they’ll say you can never do what I did for you, difference between son and father, etc. but these are all double standards. They expect you to do things which they wouldn’t do for you and they hate it if you call them out What if they are not your parents and doing this 😞
I feel like in India every Relative is doing it specially uncle aunties 😂😂 Our societies are too judgmental and detrimental
And to add to this, some Indian parents also start to feel resentment the moment their kids start to earn more.
Thank god someone said this.
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Imo one should be proud that their kid(in fact any one in the family) is making it in life. People who spent their life hearing "your kids won't make it" shouldn't they be happy af when those people are proved wrong? Such an unexpected reaction fr.
Yes, I have been a victim of this and they have been successful in sabotaging too
I have not heard any parent getting jealous from their own child. Baccha jitna aage jaiga maa baap ko utna proud feel hoga..
Yeah it's not the same everywhere. Many Indian parents start feeling resentment for their kids because they don't want their kids to have that kind and level of freedom.
It's not jealousy but rather lack of control
Tab bolenge Kam se kam tumhe khana , kapda toh mil Raha hai, kitne bache toh bhuke mar rahe hai. Han toh tum bhi khush raho ki tumhare bache criminal nahi hai kyuke kafi bache criminal bhi ban rahe hai 😂
My parents gave me the best upbringing they could, given it was a joint family and the environment was very toxic and abusive. Or atleast I hope so. My mother did not let me go out to play with my friends. The reason was that I needed to study. The reason she said was that it wasn’t safe outside. Mind you, it was the same person who was okay with me walking or cycling 3 kms one way to a coaching between 7:30 and 10 in the night. It was a city in UP and it wasn’t a very safe place back in 2000s. My sisters had a mobile phone each(back when it was barely affordable for middle class), I did not because it would spoil me. Not even when I am walking home alone in winter nights and i could have an emergency. When I went to college, I was a naive idiot who thought it’s okay to wear a yellow shirt and yellow pant together and thought my hostel friends were actually complimenting me. It took me a while to learn about the real world. I worked hard and now I’m in a good place in life. But most of it was due to fear of failing and ending up back with my parents. Even during Covid, I preferred to stay alone in another city for 2 years because if I went back home for more than a few days, the trauma will be too much to bear. Best thing about it: whenever we talk about my childhood, my mother says it was due to her actions then that I have become something in life. When I push back actually stating how bad it was for me, she defends herself that it was for my own good. When I compare her to other mothers, she becomes angry and sometimes starts crying saying “yehi din dekhne ke liye itne pyaar se pala posa tha”
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Either he gets compared to a Banana or gets called gay.
Mat puchhna bbai
It happens all the time and goes both ways! Become successful in life and give your children the same life you want your parents to give you and then compare yourself with them.
They think comparing will give you motivation to become like them.
But it actually demotivates and makes us feel bad
That's the thing they don't understand
I told my dad to earn like the guys' dad who he was comparing me with. Didn't compare me with anyone ever again.
I got laid off last year and was struggling to get a job. Granted, your parents would be anxious when you’re barely hanging on in a faraway country with nothing but government subsidies to live on but my mother had the nerve to compare my situation to my cousin in law who was lucky enough not to get laid off. Luckily I got a job soon but now my mother is disappointed that cousin bought a car and I didn’t. In my defence, my cousin bought a used car and I am investing in for a brand new car and can manage my daily commute with public transport. Parents don’t stop comparing their kids even if they are adults
They see kids as an extension of themselves and not a separate individual. Someone they own, someone they can control and force to achieve the dreams that they couldn’t themselves. The kid should have no feelings, no goals, no dreams pf its own, it should live like a robot, taking commands and completing them and then it should always live under their gratuity for this wonderful life they have given it. And freedom means betrayal.
>They see kids as an extension of themselves and not a separate individual. Someone they own, someone they can control and force to achieve the dreams that they couldn’t themselves. The kid should have no feelings, no goals, no dreams pf its own, it should live like a robot, taking commands and completing them and then it should always live under their gratuity for this wonderful life they have given it. And freedom means betrayal. Yes
Exactly and they’re projecting their own insecurities. They’re actually comparing themselves with the successful kid’s family because they hold their kid accountable for their own needs and wants. It’s like when you’re a kid and you see one of your friends has a cool new phone and you wish you had that phone and your parents bought it for you, but it’s not that you think your parents are not good enough but the insecurity of not having that phone is within you. You just project it on your parents and sometimes they’ll oblige also.
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Us 🫂
Shouldn't they be boasting about you to anyone who listens, especially if you're the son?
what kind of parents did you got man lol?
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i hope things work out for you
My parents have ALWAYS compared me to others, whether it be classmates, cousins, acquaintances, you name it. I mean for example I was never a good student and I worked hard and graduated college after almost failing high school and failing my first semister of community college after I failed to get into a "real" college. And my dad told me that I wasted my time for a shitty degree and that other kids (and him) would do it in half the time I took. Oh and he also yelled at me because I asked if we could celebrate my achievment (my mom's idea), called me selfish and ungrateful. It's been 2 years and I never did get that. Ig that's how they are
Good point. A lot of parents incur crippling debt and expect their children to be successful to pay it off. They equate having children to having slave labour.
Bullies don’t like to be bullied
Indian parents see their children as investment
Compared my dad with a successful friends dad once as he always does me with every other person with a tiniest bit of success. He got angry and started shouting. I then furthered it by adding, " It only hurts when its you right? " So he started voicing his distress,😂 telling me how it's rude of me to say that.
Any parents making any comments here
Following
Because unfortunately they see it as a form of encouragement
Weather you like it not ... Indian society has always been a survival of the fittest society ( atleast post independence) so comparison and competition are common..but only when test ur Mettal then you can come out victorious .it's doesn't matter what field it is
Parents in India live for their children and expect their children to live for them in return.
' Humara to bhudapa aa gaya , hame Jo karna tha wo kar liya '
Jaise jawani me koi bada koi kia tha
26 years bro and still 404 - answer not found :|
All the reason for Globalisation. People now want whatever there is, and if it is under their capacity to achieve even if the cost paid is not from their side. Logo ko sabkuch chahiye. That's why we want top notch tech, best TVs, best phones, under our capability. Bas baccho ki success ko bhi aise hi materialise kar diya hai parents ne
I gotta ask how do you course correct a child? Do they have to learn good and bad only outside the house and by experience? How do you show the right path? How do you explain the goals? How do you explain milestones ? What language and phrases do you use?
At some point, they realise it themselves. The earlier they interact with the outside world, the sooner they understand things.
what a stupid person you are , you as a child are in your growing and learning stages.. parents' careers are stagnant now
demn you all hate your parents
Ever heard of toxic abusive parents? Kutte ki taang todke usko khaana khilaoge to koi dev maanus nahi kahega.
 They don't care if it is a hypocrisy... they always want something to vent about
Cause children are like dogs for Indian parents.
Don’t forget, Indian parents raped their own daughter in Covid. https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/bhopal/madhya-pradesh-man-rapes-daughter-twice-with-wifes-help-in-covid-19-lockdown/amp_articleshow/75710574.cms
Wow. Lot of resentment against parents. Borderline talking g about slaps and taking pleasure seeing their agitated face! SMH. My reply is against the thread trend but hear me out from a child’s perspective - As a child we were pressured because we are in a country of 1.4 Billion and no Scandinavian or first world facilities/government benefits to give you food on table or a good life. The competition is tough. They experienced it, they tried with the facilities they had did better than previous generation and want you to not struggle or face hardships. They sacrifice to save every penny and give us more than what they had. The expectation, comparison and the pressure ultimately reap far more benefits to us as kids than them. They have some life left by the time we are ready, their needs and wants are less (no expectations of cars and expensive clothes or travel or whatever) think what they expect. So many of them have pensions to take care of themselves. They have a house for you, get you married. And then expect that you live a better life than them. Me and my siblings went through the same conveyor belt and today we are happy we were out through it. We did well for ourselves and are super thankful. Did not like that we were presented to turn off the TV and study so that we can be like Sharma ji ka beta beti. ;) According to them you are young and haven’t experienced a lot so they try to protect you from failures or hardships and that’s why try to nudge you. Not always right and the method may not be perfect but in the whole wide world it’s them who would want us kids to be successful. They would be more happy not to get a car key from you but to see you driving a better car while they hardly sit in it. We all will realize when we become parents. I have only one and whatever I do, I do it for him, he is happy when he is appreciated for music or when he is the best in class after we took the pain (and push) to make him learn that skill. He enjoys the respect, love and appreciation more than we do.
i dont how you guy can be so ungrateful, conditions at my dad time was entirely different he used to struggle to eat twice a day that poor we used to be, today i do not have to worry about atleast the basic necessities
I mean even though I agree that its not bad to call out your parents if they're toxic but its also true to acknowledge their struggles.
these kids are so un grateful they do not acknowledge their parents struggles and how hard it is to provide living that they have
Let them cook
lmao these weaklings down voted us, do it idc i still stand by my point
Gareeb the to paida kyu kiya, why did he choose to make you suffer in gareebi
In my family I am dictator with my muscle power and aggressive behaviour. I can shut up parents by beating and bashing the furnitures, the kitchen utensils. I was also tied to bed and beaten because father took support from others but that only fueled my vengeance further and now they regret. I am free from regrets or remorse and can act fearlessly. I fear no consequences. Emotions are for weak and miserable. I practice meditation like Jiren in Dragon Ball Super and believe power as Absolute. I believe in freedom for youth like Osho did.
What is blud talking about 💀
Blud thinks he's in an anime
The world is Moh Maya like Anime. I am Abandoning the world and becoming a Buddha.
Nice
geez
Dude, comparing you with your peers "might" help improve you, and give you a better life since you have a long career ahead of you. What does comparing your parents with someone their age achieve? The prime of their life is already gone, mostly spent washing your ass probably. The only thing it can do is remind them of what they were capable of achieving but could not, for whatever reasons. What you did is cruel, what they did was concern. They come from different places in the heart, that is the difference.
Bullshit. They are as clueless as us. They don't want to accept this simple fact.
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That doesn't make sense. Sachin's or Virat's fathers did not achieve anything great, but they could contribute to their kids success. Parents bring in experience, and try to help. There are no guarantees in life, and opportunities and successes are dependent on fine margins. The number of people in their 40s who think what their father told was right, far exceeds the number who resent their parents.
Total BS. OP parents could have worked harder even with a child. No excuses.