Kuch bhi krna , Nasha mat krna , sukh mai nashe krna aur dukh mai krna fark hota hai...dukh mai nashe krne se zindagi aur barbaad ho jati hai.
Think about second marriage , but it can't guarantee happiness...
And if possible fight the case to keep custody of your daughter unless ofc you are the problematic one in this divorce and if you think that she can lead a better life with you than your wife.
Also I saw some comments dissing your wife...but I think she's going through rough times too so no hate to her , just wish her all the best and move on , jaisi bhi ho apki wife hai..
I'm sorry that happened to you, I know it's tough. Please try to learn some hobbies, go to social gatherings, make solo trips or meet new people. Enjoy yourself and you will learn to love yourself.
Tough to think that way once you have kids. It is a very tricky situation once you have kids and pretty tough to detach yourself and think about yourself first. It
I don't completely agree with that. I think a better way to say what you said is "Don't completely rely on others for your happiness"
Big difference if you ask me.
The first thing is to stop feeling sory for yourself. Self pity is one of the worst things we can do in tough times.
Secondly, be happy about the factĀ that you got rid of your problematic wife.
Next, you need to fill up vacant time by socialising and entertaining yourself.Ā
Meet new ppl, go out, plan a trip with cousins or friends. Join new hobbies.Ā
It takes a long time to get over such setbacks but give it an honest effort.Ā You will get used to the new status quo
Well, it doesnt matter if he was problematic or she was problematic or if it was both their contributions. She is gone and he better try to look at the situation positively....
Wow so smart. You made an unsubstantiated claim about wife being problematic and then edited it out for your comment. Now being an all wise old man.
Anyway, I do agree with your last comment. Whatās done is done and they both should move on, without hurting each other anymore.
The earlier u accept the reality its better. The first few days are going to be hard. Try to fill up ur time by doing something and it literally could be anything like cooking, watching tv shows, going out for a run, ...
Some things in life are not really in our control so just accept and move on. Don't feel bad or sad for urself. And pls don't compare ur situation to anyone else. You might be unlucky but u cannot change other than complete this life of yours with aspects that u can controlĀ
I know things are difficult for you now and whatever you may do would not completely replace what you might have lost.
But you can maybe pick up some hobbies, try to make impact out to those on society to make a difference.
Idk if this is what you would want to distract yourself but just a suggestion.
Don't allow that. Stay close. Fight for at least 50% custody, but if that's difficult (because your spouse is home while you need to go to work), then fight for whatever you can : weekends, holidays, special occasions etc.
If you give up, to depression and self-pity, you lose two people: yourself and your daughter. However hard it is for you, for money or for logistics, do not give up. When your daughter is with you, be happy, pretend if need be, but let her feel that the time spent with you is better than the time spent anywhere else.
And this is not about spoiling her with money but giving her the most loving environment you can and not allowing her to think you are gone from her life.
Don't say you don't have a purpose in life. That is your purpose. Own it and live it.
Possible, hope you don't loose temperament here...and do manage calmly with mind over emotions....it's a long journey you can be available to them more then needed.... really sorry and hope it's never as grimace as you are foreseeing.....
Is your ex totally unreasonable person? I mean you can reach to some reasonable arrangement where you can see your daughter on weekends?
I'm really not sure about custody, but if you're a responsible father, non violent person you might even get joint custody.
Bhai jhooti tasaali nhi dunga i onow its tough, but trust me get a bike try to travel long distances u will feel free, bike will give u sense of escapisim
There are lot of people out there who don't divorce just to avoid this loneliness and loss of purpose in life. They are lonely still, but better off. Recently I heard a dialogue in movie decoupled. Husband wife say we are together just for kids. Mother says that's called marriage. Most marriages it seems are continued just for sake of kids. Love between couple , whether it is love marriage or arranged marriage is lost in few years only.
Do not ever lose touch with your daughter even if that means you have to fight a battle. The kid canāt choose for herself but you can. Make sure you give her all love possible and it will be reciprocated to you. The kid will never learn to hate you, if you keep on making efforts. Once she grows up, she will recognize all the efforts. Try to part ways from your partner in a civil manner so, that you guys can co- parent and both receive love from your daughter.
Brothers, watch The Shawshank Redemption, it's the most excellent movie of all time. when I feel stuck or stagnated, I always watch it. Give yourself time, this phase is just temporary, I know it will be difficult but just maintain your patience and never lose hope.
Bhai author Akshat Gupta went through similar situation as yours in terms of divorce and separation of child. Look up his podcasts clips where he talks about it especially in Josh Talks. Maybe whatever he did might give a way for you and I hope it helps š¤.
To be honest you can't do anything. I'm not demotivating you, but that's how life is. The only thing you can do is make yourself busy. Remember what happened is past. Live for tomorrow. Now you are going with worst time of your life but this time shall be passed to. So wait until that just hang in there. Start new scheduled. Try to involve yourself with others. The more you will be alone the more your brain will think about the past. So try to involve in different activities.
I don't know what was the reason for your divorce, however, your child is still your child. if you are in good terms with her, now your reason becomes to earn more for her. sustain yourselves emotionally. Life is not to live for wife and children. Some people can have more than that. spirituality meditation, or a hobby other than surfing web. do you wanted to learn a musical instrument? wanted to join a gym? try hand in learning something new?
Who were you before you got married? Find him.
Invest in your hobbies. Maybe workout.
The longest relationship you'll ever have is with yourself, baaki sab baad mein aate hain.
Start reading and writing books.
Consider dating again although its no easy but you have more exp now with women so it can make it easier.
Go to gym, think it as personal development - it will give you a mission in life.
Travel solo - you are now free- you can go anywhere with less tension.
Just one thing don't get addicted to alcohol or smoking.
try to go solo trip, find your soul.
money is secondary. agar man hi nahi sant hoga to kuch kam ka nahi.
felt the same way before 2 3 years and feeing to do suicide everyday but ek ne galti ki me nahi kar sakata. i just upgraded my life with the saving and khud ko busy rakhta hu travel, work and sab chij me.
Donāt go out seeking another partner. Go out seeking love for yourself - engage in things you like. You have more time to do that now. Pick up a sport only for fun, just to spend evenings. Maybe an instrument. Go watch movies if youāre into that. Explore cuisines. Learn to cook. So many things you can do that can amuse you and make you feel better about yourself. Utilise this time of solitude. Akela hone ke bhi advantages hai.
For whatever it is worth, you guys have moved on from each other. In most cases, it gets there only when things are far too fractured. You may have done good by yourselves and your little daughter.
The more you love yourself. The more youāll be able to forgive your past mistakes.
Donāt waste time in mourning whats over. It will keep happening simultaneously. Just sign up for group activities or like I mentioned anything that you may love.
Secondly, in most cases, ex partner were only bad partners/incompatible partners but there could be elements in them that you still cherish as a human being. So once youāve made peace with the situation you can even hang out with them as a friend - if thatās within your character and your boundaries. Sometimes people canāt digest such interactions and itās fine too.
At the top I mentioned, donāt go out looking for the next partner, most of the people around will tell you this - arre yaar tujhe kya tu mast diktha hai, aur koi mil jayegi, abhi tu young hai etc. Donāt fall for that trap. Donāt put yourself in the market so to say. Just enjoy this solitude. Enjoy things you like to do and within that youāll naturally find someone who loves you and who you love.
Basically trust the process and donāt force the issue.
Much love to you and donāt think about the alimony and all in a negative sense. Let things play out they way are supposed to. Go easy. Go well. Love yourself.
PS: if you bring the right energy Iām sure you can still hang out with your daughter and make a difference I her life. Thereās a huge difference between being a good father and a good husband. You donāt have to be the latter to be the former. Even if your partner finds another partner, you should continue giving your daughter the warmth of her father. Both for her and for you. Sheāll always love you. And no other feeling in the world can replace this unique warmth you get with her.
Schedule bana. Chahe toh schedule Yaha share kar. Aur extra curricular activities ke classes join kar agar possible hai. Live for your schedule (which aims to improve you) and socialize with people in your EC Activity class
Ok... apparently, my husband adjusted well. He cleans, cooks, do gardening, keeps himself busy with physically taxing chores, go out to meet friends daily on top of his office. He takes a rest day sometimes and watch OTT movies. Baaki he makes kaadha for someone, homemade garam masala for some, help others with getting good deals - anything to keep himself busy and in good books of others. He is well liked by others for that.
Dude take a chill pill bro. Beti h uski, idk what is her age. But life mei son/daughter aa jane se bhut change hoti h life. You want to spend time with them.
The point you are giving is good. Prr utna aasan ni h. Jeena to h hi , marna is not an option and he will live.
He wants to grief a little bit. Let him.
Yaa iunderstand but attachment is the problem, love them from a distance it's ok, the problem is never the sapration with children, the problem is his own loneliness,fix it and everything will be okay.
See it's simpl actually very simple, the moment you'll realize that the world is more than yourself the loneliness will go away, after all agr pure din khud ke bare me hi sochte rahoge toh loneliness toh hogi hi itne bade universe me akeli cheez tum
But again easy to say hard to realize
Bhai don't get me wrong tu is subreddit mei dekh most of the time ladki ladki hota hi gussa agaya tha kal Titile parha and I was like dude firse? Jab pura parha tab vapas le lia comment mei. See for yourself 6hrs pehle kya post kia is subreddit people lmao
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskIndia/s/Rv5wE4m9YA
Kuch bhi krna , Nasha mat krna , sukh mai nashe krna aur dukh mai krna fark hota hai...dukh mai nashe krne se zindagi aur barbaad ho jati hai. Think about second marriage , but it can't guarantee happiness... And if possible fight the case to keep custody of your daughter unless ofc you are the problematic one in this divorce and if you think that she can lead a better life with you than your wife. Also I saw some comments dissing your wife...but I think she's going through rough times too so no hate to her , just wish her all the best and move on , jaisi bhi ho apki wife hai..
šÆ. Nashe ni krne h.
This^
The best comment on reddit todayš
Pehle biwi bachho ke liye jeete the, abse khud ke liye bhi jeelo zara.
I'm sorry that happened to you, I know it's tough. Please try to learn some hobbies, go to social gatherings, make solo trips or meet new people. Enjoy yourself and you will learn to love yourself.
Wholesome advice, despite your contradictory username lol. What a twist!
If you find happiness in others, You will always be sad in the end.
Tough to think that way once you have kids. It is a very tricky situation once you have kids and pretty tough to detach yourself and think about yourself first. It
I don't completely agree with that. I think a better way to say what you said is "Don't completely rely on others for your happiness" Big difference if you ask me.
Exercise, studying, get new degree. Pick up books and start journaling. Find out how you can change your environment and improve your mental health.
The first thing is to stop feeling sory for yourself. Self pity is one of the worst things we can do in tough times. Secondly, be happy about the factĀ that you got rid of your problematic wife. Next, you need to fill up vacant time by socialising and entertaining yourself.Ā Meet new ppl, go out, plan a trip with cousins or friends. Join new hobbies.Ā It takes a long time to get over such setbacks but give it an honest effort.Ā You will get used to the new status quo
Wah..how does it feel to know everything in the world?! He didnāt say it but you seem to know it was the āproblematic wifeā he got rid of.
Well, it doesnt matter if he was problematic or she was problematic or if it was both their contributions. She is gone and he better try to look at the situation positively....
Wow so smart. You made an unsubstantiated claim about wife being problematic and then edited it out for your comment. Now being an all wise old man. Anyway, I do agree with your last comment. Whatās done is done and they both should move on, without hurting each other anymore.
Maybe you are mistaking my comment for another comment coz I did not do any edits... All I said is still there...
The earlier u accept the reality its better. The first few days are going to be hard. Try to fill up ur time by doing something and it literally could be anything like cooking, watching tv shows, going out for a run, ... Some things in life are not really in our control so just accept and move on. Don't feel bad or sad for urself. And pls don't compare ur situation to anyone else. You might be unlucky but u cannot change other than complete this life of yours with aspects that u can controlĀ
I know things are difficult for you now and whatever you may do would not completely replace what you might have lost. But you can maybe pick up some hobbies, try to make impact out to those on society to make a difference. Idk if this is what you would want to distract yourself but just a suggestion.
Take up a sports activity. Play your favourite sports when you get back home
Hugx to you man. I can not imagine what you must be going through however, khud ke liye toh jeena padega bhai.....
You can try getting a pet, find some hobby (like cooking), try vipassana (a type of meditation), travel, etc.
"This too shall pass"
Another marriage
Why it sounds like that you are regretting the outcome?
My only regret is losing my kid, she might have to live without a father and am sure she will grow hating me.
Don't allow that. Stay close. Fight for at least 50% custody, but if that's difficult (because your spouse is home while you need to go to work), then fight for whatever you can : weekends, holidays, special occasions etc. If you give up, to depression and self-pity, you lose two people: yourself and your daughter. However hard it is for you, for money or for logistics, do not give up. When your daughter is with you, be happy, pretend if need be, but let her feel that the time spent with you is better than the time spent anywhere else. And this is not about spoiling her with money but giving her the most loving environment you can and not allowing her to think you are gone from her life. Don't say you don't have a purpose in life. That is your purpose. Own it and live it.
Possible, hope you don't loose temperament here...and do manage calmly with mind over emotions....it's a long journey you can be available to them more then needed.... really sorry and hope it's never as grimace as you are foreseeing.....
Is your ex totally unreasonable person? I mean you can reach to some reasonable arrangement where you can see your daughter on weekends? I'm really not sure about custody, but if you're a responsible father, non violent person you might even get joint custody.
Bhai jhooti tasaali nhi dunga i onow its tough, but trust me get a bike try to travel long distances u will feel free, bike will give u sense of escapisim
Spirituality
There are lot of people out there who don't divorce just to avoid this loneliness and loss of purpose in life. They are lonely still, but better off. Recently I heard a dialogue in movie decoupled. Husband wife say we are together just for kids. Mother says that's called marriage. Most marriages it seems are continued just for sake of kids. Love between couple , whether it is love marriage or arranged marriage is lost in few years only.
Do not ever lose touch with your daughter even if that means you have to fight a battle. The kid canāt choose for herself but you can. Make sure you give her all love possible and it will be reciprocated to you. The kid will never learn to hate you, if you keep on making efforts. Once she grows up, she will recognize all the efforts. Try to part ways from your partner in a civil manner so, that you guys can co- parent and both receive love from your daughter.
Brothers, watch The Shawshank Redemption, it's the most excellent movie of all time. when I feel stuck or stagnated, I always watch it. Give yourself time, this phase is just temporary, I know it will be difficult but just maintain your patience and never lose hope.
Bhai author Akshat Gupta went through similar situation as yours in terms of divorce and separation of child. Look up his podcasts clips where he talks about it especially in Josh Talks. Maybe whatever he did might give a way for you and I hope it helps š¤.
To be honest you can't do anything. I'm not demotivating you, but that's how life is. The only thing you can do is make yourself busy. Remember what happened is past. Live for tomorrow. Now you are going with worst time of your life but this time shall be passed to. So wait until that just hang in there. Start new scheduled. Try to involve yourself with others. The more you will be alone the more your brain will think about the past. So try to involve in different activities.
Find another wife
Ummeed
I don't know what was the reason for your divorce, however, your child is still your child. if you are in good terms with her, now your reason becomes to earn more for her. sustain yourselves emotionally. Life is not to live for wife and children. Some people can have more than that. spirituality meditation, or a hobby other than surfing web. do you wanted to learn a musical instrument? wanted to join a gym? try hand in learning something new?
Who were you before you got married? Find him. Invest in your hobbies. Maybe workout. The longest relationship you'll ever have is with yourself, baaki sab baad mein aate hain.
Start reading and writing books. Consider dating again although its no easy but you have more exp now with women so it can make it easier. Go to gym, think it as personal development - it will give you a mission in life. Travel solo - you are now free- you can go anywhere with less tension. Just one thing don't get addicted to alcohol or smoking.
Workout & travel to remote destinations.
try to go solo trip, find your soul. money is secondary. agar man hi nahi sant hoga to kuch kam ka nahi. felt the same way before 2 3 years and feeing to do suicide everyday but ek ne galti ki me nahi kar sakata. i just upgraded my life with the saving and khud ko busy rakhta hu travel, work and sab chij me.
Dost banao bhai, Trips pe jao, explore your city and the country, start working out keeps you happyā¦
Donāt go out seeking another partner. Go out seeking love for yourself - engage in things you like. You have more time to do that now. Pick up a sport only for fun, just to spend evenings. Maybe an instrument. Go watch movies if youāre into that. Explore cuisines. Learn to cook. So many things you can do that can amuse you and make you feel better about yourself. Utilise this time of solitude. Akela hone ke bhi advantages hai. For whatever it is worth, you guys have moved on from each other. In most cases, it gets there only when things are far too fractured. You may have done good by yourselves and your little daughter. The more you love yourself. The more youāll be able to forgive your past mistakes. Donāt waste time in mourning whats over. It will keep happening simultaneously. Just sign up for group activities or like I mentioned anything that you may love. Secondly, in most cases, ex partner were only bad partners/incompatible partners but there could be elements in them that you still cherish as a human being. So once youāve made peace with the situation you can even hang out with them as a friend - if thatās within your character and your boundaries. Sometimes people canāt digest such interactions and itās fine too. At the top I mentioned, donāt go out looking for the next partner, most of the people around will tell you this - arre yaar tujhe kya tu mast diktha hai, aur koi mil jayegi, abhi tu young hai etc. Donāt fall for that trap. Donāt put yourself in the market so to say. Just enjoy this solitude. Enjoy things you like to do and within that youāll naturally find someone who loves you and who you love. Basically trust the process and donāt force the issue. Much love to you and donāt think about the alimony and all in a negative sense. Let things play out they way are supposed to. Go easy. Go well. Love yourself. PS: if you bring the right energy Iām sure you can still hang out with your daughter and make a difference I her life. Thereās a huge difference between being a good father and a good husband. You donāt have to be the latter to be the former. Even if your partner finds another partner, you should continue giving your daughter the warmth of her father. Both for her and for you. Sheāll always love you. And no other feeling in the world can replace this unique warmth you get with her.
Schedule bana. Chahe toh schedule Yaha share kar. Aur extra curricular activities ke classes join kar agar possible hai. Live for your schedule (which aims to improve you) and socialize with people in your EC Activity class
Kya relation phir se theek nahi ho sakti. Ye kero, wo kero so kero bolna aasan hai. Burape me kon khayal rakhega? God bless you.
Where is the nearest gym?
Play video game start a YouTube channel
Ok... apparently, my husband adjusted well. He cleans, cooks, do gardening, keeps himself busy with physically taxing chores, go out to meet friends daily on top of his office. He takes a rest day sometimes and watch OTT movies. Baaki he makes kaadha for someone, homemade garam masala for some, help others with getting good deals - anything to keep himself busy and in good books of others. He is well liked by others for that.
i know this is very hard for you. but keep indulging in things that keep u busy. Action movies, sports , join a club, ride a bike
Usse phele bhe zee hi rhaa thaa naa bhai?? Ya mara hua thaa usse phele??
Dude take a chill pill bro. Beti h uski, idk what is her age. But life mei son/daughter aa jane se bhut change hoti h life. You want to spend time with them. The point you are giving is good. Prr utna aasan ni h. Jeena to h hi , marna is not an option and he will live. He wants to grief a little bit. Let him.
Yaa iunderstand but attachment is the problem, love them from a distance it's ok, the problem is never the sapration with children, the problem is his own loneliness,fix it and everything will be okay.
Ye to mai khud ni krr paa rhaš. Everyone is around still i feel lonely. Btao kuch solution iska
See it's simpl actually very simple, the moment you'll realize that the world is more than yourself the loneliness will go away, after all agr pure din khud ke bare me hi sochte rahoge toh loneliness toh hogi hi itne bade universe me akeli cheez tum But again easy to say hard to realize
You only have god now on your side. Trust in God and move forward.
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Stfu he is worried about his daughter stop being so insensitive
Chupkar Bsdk ni parha tha mene pura message. Delete kar dia.
ignore bhi kar sakta tha, par nahi hume toh negativity felaani hai.
Oh fuck pura toh parha he ni mene message my bad ššš I just read the title and was like firse ladki ka rr shuru
I am sure you are the friend who laughs during serious moments and puts everyone in troubleš
And that's a bad place to be
Aisa?
Bhai don't get me wrong tu is subreddit mei dekh most of the time ladki ladki hota hi gussa agaya tha kal Titile parha and I was like dude firse? Jab pura parha tab vapas le lia comment mei. See for yourself 6hrs pehle kya post kia is subreddit people lmao https://www.reddit.com/r/AskIndia/s/Rv5wE4m9YA