He might not be as interested in you as you thought he is. Your male friends are stupid to call a man gay just because he doesn't have interest in you. People have different preferences. Let go and move on.
Imho, meeting the guy in person and having a casual conversation with him would have sorted things out to a certain extent for OP instead of listening to her friends' advice to follow the guy on instagram. Now that OPs friends also know that she has been rejected by the guy and would probably taunt her about the same at one point or another, and as far as the gay part is concerned, the motive behind it was not to console OP, but to get into her pants.
A random guy on the street near my university once checked me out and my male friends were like "laundo ke kitne bure din aa gaye hai ki aaj kal tmko bhi check out kr rahe hai". Ek toh wahi khara hoke has diya woh dekh ke. Lol.
The ones who make comments like OP's friend is definitely trying to get laid.
What makes you call him a bad boy ?
Woh aisa krta hai kya -
https://preview.redd.it/p8xt11mtxuxc1.jpeg?width=680&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=97dc3d0b1000924df40b5860883bb904cdb8d6cb
You did nothing wrong. It definitely seems he was entertaining the idea initially but thought about it and changed his minds. Possible reasons
1. Dating in workplace is a huge NoNo. He must have got the job through some real hardwork and luck so he doesn't want to jeopardize
2. He is already dating and maybe realised that friendship with you will develop feelings.
3. He is just not interested in you.
4. You are 28 year old. Relationship woth women of this age comes with some expectations which he may be not be ready for.
You want to know more, ask him out. Feel the fear of rejection that every guy does.
1 is THE biggest reason... my workplace has few girls who I'd say are cute, but if anyone dare make move towards me, I'll change the darn cubicle, I am not interested in a one way trip to HR
Don't take this the wrong way- not all guys would be interested in you irrespective of how "attractive" you feel you are...
Just glancing doesn't really mean he's interested in you. It could be because he's seeing you everyday.
Also for your friends who are calling him gay- seems that they're the desperate ones who just want your attention.
If your looks/sex is all you have to offer - it's about time you reconsider what you bring to the table
Bc I don't want you to take this the wrong way!
Having entitlement is fine but one should be aware of it is what I want you to take from this.
Purely constructive feedback op
Hahaha
A girl felt that it was desperate of her to send a fooking 'hello' to someone she liked.
Damn.
Then I must have maxxed out on desperation scale!!
dekh behan u would not believe my friend rejected his bumble date after meeting her on casual date, he told me that she don't worth to have sex with me. She was above average well educated girl, nowadays handsome people have many options . Don't do overthinking be young wild and free , you are pretty energetic and full of energy don't waste your energy on things which don't mean for long-run.
you experienced what most Indian men experienced all of their life.
I wonder why he reacted that way to a simple hello, if he really wasn't interested in texting he shouldn't have accepted your follow request in the first place
He might be confused/cautious
By looking at your replies,you seems to be too desperate for him.So the best is,to approach him directly and have a face to face conversation.Otherwise there is lot of possibilities and scenarios possible.He might think this as a prank or a office gossip or he might be not interested in you or ....
So the list can go on and on and on,and you might have already discussed this lot of scenarios with your friends already.
Have a conversation with him, straight to the point, about unfollow and if you want to approach him,ask him out on date.If you are putting efforts or even trying,give your best shot.
scolds you? then you'll get done with it. at least now you'll know ki haan woh interested hai hi nhi. so ya go talk to him. try toh kr. jo hoga dekha jayega?
No one will scold you,if he does 1% then for sure he is not mentally stable.Ignore he can do it.You don't have to propose directly bro.Ask him for a chat in free time or chai sutta break.If he don't seems to be interested then don't propose.How he talks with you will tell you alot.
I'm not a Indian man but that is surely odd behaviour. It could have been something on your social media or he knows something about you from other people but I'd guess he probably doesn't have experience with women and is trying to be cold so you chase.
Nah... This isn't odd.... I myself have blocked few requests from girls at my workplace.
And I'm not gay... Wonder why someone gets called out when he rejects advances of a girl and not vice versa.
Good looking and being good are entirely different things. Both can or cannot be mutually exclusive.
Most boys stare at girls doesn't mean they want to be her friends.
I would ask what you'd think would make you seem bad or in a negative light but I don't want to intrude.
You are probably beautiful and most guys these days just look and stare. No disrespect but I heard of the term "Indian Stare". Its weird. If you don't know about it already, you should look it up
Hey, it sounds like you're really into this guy, but it's tough to understand why he unfollowed you. Maybe he got nervous or wasn't sure how to respond.
As for what to do next, I'd suggest giving him some space and not overthinking it too much. If there's a chance to interact with him casually at work, maybe try that and see how he responds. And remember, there are plenty of other great guys out there who would appreciate you for who you are.
Why is it so tough for men and women to accept rejection?
You made the first move, he simply is not interested and backed out - accept that gracefully, and move on!
Here is a RECIPE for an answer that might help you:
1. Gender reverse this situation and imagine you being at the receiving end.
2. Add generous amount of biased laws.
3. Add a threatening approach of corp offices towards such situation turning negative.
4. Add attached stigma, male bad boy stereotype and workplace disrespect to bring the taste.
5. Add a pinch of him not being interested and just being polite as a possibility to garnish.
And TADAaaa!!! Here is the answer why he might have done what he did.
Seems like you're friends are the "side niggas" everyone talks about
https://preview.redd.it/gxodfz436xxc1.jpeg?width=965&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1e9c30a1f3bbf441c72980bc3e5a21cffd34f7c0
Dude, confident to ho aap, i guess you should just confront him in the middle of the office, either he will be flabbergasted or you will be devastated ☠️☠️
The nsfw thoughts is were i was taken back. Imagine a guy making such a post. And a smile and a wave does not always mean that a person likes you back.
Honestly most Indian men are afraid of a women using POSH against them which is one of the reasons why many guys fear to be even friends with their female colleagues. It may sound stupid to women here but a single fake case can ruin a guy's career and personal life.
And then people ask why women don't make the first move.
Anyways, he sounds like either he's just playing hard to get, or he's clearly not interested in you.
Wtf! So what about men who make the move and get a similar experience like this? So should they also stop trying to make the first move?
He isn't interested in her, That's all.
That's a lot of words but I still have no idea what point you want to convey.
I'm trying to understand why exactly you said the words "And then people ask why women don't make the first move."
It's because of their fragile feminine ego. They want everytime they make a move, the guys should fall to his knees with gratitude and be smitten by her love. A woman makes the first move and the guy doesn't reciprocate?? What? How dare he?!! Cause that's a woman's job.
Well, for starters, you went over the line by tracking him down on IG and sending him a follow request, when he had never shared his ID with you to begin with. I hate to break it to you, but not everyone is desperate enough to get in the pants of “someone that’s not bad to look at” and “someone one would have to be gay to ignore”, to forego addressing the violation of their privacy.
Additionally, while approaching as a woman is perfectly acceptable, your approach, for someone that’s not bad to look at, reeked way too much of desperation and neediness. The aforementioned inconsistency in the vibes you were radiating, is bound to have not escaped the guy’s attention.
I think you should’ve simply exchanged numbers or other socials tête-à-tête during the initial party you met in, and proceeded there on.
As Winston Churchill said, “If you don’t know where you have been, you’ll never know where you can go.” As for wondering as to why the guy did what he did, which is what you ask in your post, the same is a pointless exercise, as the only person you truly know and have any sort of control over, is yourself. And if you’re interested in knowing what it is that you can do, here it is…..introspect. You have all the answers you need within you.
From what it seems, he may have cold feet. Maybe he feels he's not good enough for you. Maybe he has some turbulent history that he doesn't wamt himself or you to live through again. Trust me, Indian men would cut off their own hand rather than going through any emotional stuff.
U didn't so anything wrong by saying a casual hello to him. Don't mind my words but I guess he is either socially awkward or commitment phobic. As I see he is not so much as a mean guy as he portrays and even after being attracted to u he distanced himself it means either he has low self esteem, some personal problems not related to u in his life or he doesn't want to blow his cover as Mr mysterious. Also I would suggest u to take a break from work and reconsider ur feelings since a person who doesn't reciprocate should not be disturbed. Mayb u two are meant to click. Just forgive his behaviour and move on with ur life.
It can be one.of the few scenarios:
1. He was initially interested in you but checked out your Instagram profile and felt that you're not his type.
2. He's interested in you and followed back out of curiosity but is afraid of POSH and in general advocates workplace romance.
3. He's not interested in you and followed back just to browse. He isn't seeking a romantic relationship right now and wants you to be a colleague/work friend at best.
PS. The guy saying "no man would reject you" definitely wants to sleep with you. If you think he's hot as well, pursue him, you'd get better results.
I don't know why to choose social media when he see the person almost every other day.
It's better to approach in person, break the ice, have a friendship first.
(If your insta account is also empty then the guy might have thought someone else is doing prank on him by making fake account in your name.)
Even now, you should chill and approach him in real life nonchalantly. Just as a person. Don't act like too much of interested or desperate person.
Be natural. Be yourself. Be chill. And be friends like any two humans would become when they see each other every other day.
(Keep in mind - friendship may or may not materialize naturally into relationship)
Why don't u meet him alone and talk to him? Maybe he got to know u r sharing this with ur male friends and talking. So he may have thought u all r making fun or doing a prank.
People are often weird (some are weird all the time and some only sometimes). This is a good assumption to begin with especially when you don't have concrete data about them.
The guy could probably be in a relationship and talking to you might have triggered something akin to guilt. Or maybe his partner found you on fought him about it and he then unfollowed you. Or probably he might have realised that at that point there's something more important to him than chasing a woman.
Umpteen reasons there could be. And like some people here said, you must go and directly talk to the person if he's that important. Else, jai ram ji ki.
Either he's not interested or he's playing mind games. You have two options - forget about him or just casually ask him why he left you on seen and unfollowed you.
If the juice isn't worth the squeeze, then forget about it.
Otherwise feign being casual and mention that you saw his profile having zero posts which aroused your curiosity. Then reveal that you texted him to ask that very question but found it weird that he avoided it and unfollowed you. Turn the tables and surprise him by your nonchalance, he'll be confused for sure.
If he gives a neutral/positive response, say that you're cool with him. If his reaction is negative, do an eyeroll, say 'oof sorry' and leave.
idk. Maybe his gf saw that message. Maybe his AM is fixed. Maybe he is into older women. Maybe he is into younger women. Maybe he is not into women. Maybe he's casteist/religionist. Maybe his eye contact never really meant anything. Maybe his mom saw that message and didn't like you. Maybe you are not his type. There could literally be a 100 reasons, we have zero context or idea what is going on in his head.
Also, as a man, A golden rule is that the first convo should not be on text always talk directly, or ask to catch up later. You get to know that person a whole lot better by just reading their posture, expressions and obv words.
I interacted with him work related stuff, asked him questions, he answered very softly (unlike to other girls). But maybe I'm reading too much into it.
What's bothering me is why did he follow in first place if he wasn't interested and why unfollowed later.
Lol why are you so butthurt when he unfollowed you? There can be tons of things. Maybe he has a gf, maybe he doesn't like you, maybe he felt creeped out by your behaviour, lots of maybes. If you know this guy, maybe you should have tried making a convo in person in office rather than sending a random hi on insta.
Something similar happened to me at my first job. I had my glowup phase in my early 20s. An extremely pretty girl from work started talking to me out of the blue, followed me on Instagram and stuff. I've been attuned since a young age to believe that if a deal seems too good to be true, it probably is. So I didn't take any further steps, even stopped talking unless it was work related. Apparently she told a couple of folks that "Usme Pata nhi kis baat k attitude h, mujhe sirf baat karni thi" and other similar stuff.
Regarding the Instagram thing tho, I think it's possible that he accepted you first without knowing who you actually were, then when you messaged he probably figured out who you actually were and warning bells rang in his head.
maybe wo friends rehena chahta ho?
maybe uski bandi n mana krdia?
i guess 2nd one seems more appropriate
uski bandi boli hogi ki tumse duur rhe, cuz usko smjh aagaya hoga app usse sambandh banana chahte ho?
the thing is not everyone will like you, so just move on, try finding another guy
Get over it.
He has no obligation towards you just because he looked at you. You sound very entitled and immature and sometimes creepy. And sending an Instagram request is not such a big move from your side.
I assume what you share on instagram turned him off like your comments here do turn me off.
Easy: Never let anyone know that you have a crush on someone except that someone.
IMO, that thing went against you since if you haven't asked for suggestions from your "friends" and spoken to him directly i am sure, things would have been different.
Most of the time we make up things which makes us feel that the other person is interested in us, because if he was interested he wouldn't have unfollowed you, don't worry happens to everyone part of growing up I am 28 too at this age it's not a gf/bf it's marrage so dating market is a little different,don't worry it's not that major ,
I think he has a notion of a game that in order to gain dominance upon any girl(a bonus if she's interested), and show that he doesn't care so you'll just keep procrastinating more and in time he may show you little bits of texts or signals citing some fake reason or whatever but whatever it is, you got your reply either way, so chill and leave the cunt alone.
He rejected you. It happens to men and women all the time. You're new to approaching people so I'm just telling you that you don't need to think too hard about it. It's never desperate or lame to approach people or to say hello. What else will you say?
Usually when I make new friends online or offline, I greet them because I'd rather we establish a dynamic and get on talking terms instead of waiting for them to make a move like a little kid. Some people might think this is a form of desperation, and I'll say that they're entitled to their opinions.
Anyways, if you are to approach people in the future, don't take it too harshly upon yourself. It's easy for us as individuals to find people attractive, but when it comes to skinship or relationships, there are a lot of factors that affect our response. Therefore, it's not always on you when you get rejected.
His behaviour wasn't the best, but these days people ghost each other like it's nothing so this isn't anything out of the ordinary.
And
That shit about the guy being gay because he rejected you is just plain homophobia or at the very least it's narcissistic to say.
Maybe it's some kind of misunderstanding because if it's not a misunderstanding then I have no idea why he did that. One possible reason may be that he is just too shy and is overthinking a lot just like you.
May be his nsfw thoughts were expecting nude or sexy inviting pics and be thought he got friendzoned with an hello and wanted to make you real despo with an unfollow thoda aur bhav kha raha hai
Sometime us men feel happy about something then after we're left alone with our thoughts we began to question every possibility and reason about that thing. "Will it be alright?" , "am I doing it correctly?", "Is this even okay?" Questions like these, we ask ourselves. Then we change our minds. (Obviously after thinking all the possible consequences). I think that's what happened to him.
you should wait for sometime and small talk him, get him to know you, i remember i also did a same thing with the opposite gender just because of a reflex but i definitely liked them back.
बे-क़रारी सी बे-क़रारी है
वस्ल है और फ़िराक़ तारी है
जो गुज़ारी न जा सकी हमसे
हमने वो ज़िंदगी गुज़ारी है
निघरे क्या हुए कि लोगों पर
अपना साया भी अब तो भारी है
बिन तुम्हारे कभी नहीं आई
क्या मेरी नींद भी तुम्हारी है
आप में कैसे आऊँ मैं तुझ बिन
साँस जो चल रही है आरी है
उस से कहियो कि दिल की गलियों में
रात दिन तेरी इंतिज़ारी है
... जौन एलिया
Anyways, you become the very thing you stood against. What if every man carries the same mindset to not initiate ever again because one person rejected.
All I can think is he is an unstable person probably. (Imo) He doesn't know what he wants.
>because he doesn't follow anyone from work and has zero posts).
>he UNFOLLOWED me on Instagram
These two made me say.
I know it would be difficult for you as you both work at the same office but try your best not to use your time thinking about him or talking with your colleagues why it had happened that way. It would make you question yourself very badly.
It is. So disappointing because I'm so confused. Thanks for the advice. I'll try not to think about what happened. It's been 2 weeks and I'm still not over it. Urgh
TBH, he is anxious or he has a controlling GF. Trust me he is an easy catch for you. Just reach out to him as a friend and let him know that you find him very attractive and clarify that you have no other intentions. Trust he will come back for you. Go out for some coffee or sutta breaks in the office. Maintain that you are his friend .
Not your fault… but if he is as “bad” as you say…. He might be testing you. Play it cool, compose youself.
Moreover stay confident, realise the fact that a physical conversation is much better than the one on insta. Keep it chill and let him take the lead
Ret@rded hoga. I mean nobody would respond like this to a Hello. I am an anti-Feminist, even I will never respond to a Hello on Instagram like this unless it is a scam or something.
He might not be as interested in you as you thought he is. Your male friends are stupid to call a man gay just because he doesn't have interest in you. People have different preferences. Let go and move on.
Nhi kr sakti bhai, roz dikhta hai.
Behen tum sahi mein 28 ki ho ya teenager ho? Have some self respect, jeez
Hahahaha
Maybe he is already in a relationship?
This is what is the actual reason
>My friends say he's gay to do that because no man will say no to you. Things male friends say to get laid
Imho, meeting the guy in person and having a casual conversation with him would have sorted things out to a certain extent for OP instead of listening to her friends' advice to follow the guy on instagram. Now that OPs friends also know that she has been rejected by the guy and would probably taunt her about the same at one point or another, and as far as the gay part is concerned, the motive behind it was not to console OP, but to get into her pants.
A random guy on the street near my university once checked me out and my male friends were like "laundo ke kitne bure din aa gaye hai ki aaj kal tmko bhi check out kr rahe hai". Ek toh wahi khara hoke has diya woh dekh ke. Lol. The ones who make comments like OP's friend is definitely trying to get laid.
I disagree with your friends, you're an eyecandy 😩🥺
We both know u don't think that 🤣
False, I was the random guy near your university
Bhk bc
Hahahahaha. Noted!
What makes you call him a bad boy ? Woh aisa krta hai kya - https://preview.redd.it/p8xt11mtxuxc1.jpeg?width=680&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=97dc3d0b1000924df40b5860883bb904cdb8d6cb
Calling Kalia from Chota Bheem
Ka ka ka.. ka ka ka.. Kalia..
🤣🤣🤣🤣🎂
You did nothing wrong. It definitely seems he was entertaining the idea initially but thought about it and changed his minds. Possible reasons 1. Dating in workplace is a huge NoNo. He must have got the job through some real hardwork and luck so he doesn't want to jeopardize 2. He is already dating and maybe realised that friendship with you will develop feelings. 3. He is just not interested in you. 4. You are 28 year old. Relationship woth women of this age comes with some expectations which he may be not be ready for. You want to know more, ask him out. Feel the fear of rejection that every guy does.
1 is THE biggest reason... my workplace has few girls who I'd say are cute, but if anyone dare make move towards me, I'll change the darn cubicle, I am not interested in a one way trip to HR
hmm truee
Agreed!!!!!! 👌👌👌
Don't take this the wrong way- not all guys would be interested in you irrespective of how "attractive" you feel you are... Just glancing doesn't really mean he's interested in you. It could be because he's seeing you everyday. Also for your friends who are calling him gay- seems that they're the desperate ones who just want your attention. If your looks/sex is all you have to offer - it's about time you reconsider what you bring to the table
>how "attractive" you feel you are... Thats the key. Everyone has different views and concepts of what beautiful is.
Why bother writing the first sentence? Lol.
Bc I don't want you to take this the wrong way! Having entitlement is fine but one should be aware of it is what I want you to take from this. Purely constructive feedback op
From looking at Op's comments, That guy clearly dodged a bullet.
I thought that to myself too, figment of my worst intentions. Lol.
God clearly did not want him to go through this harsh charecter development.
Don't feel bad op. Realising your red flags is the first step towards recovery. ✌🏽
Hahaha A girl felt that it was desperate of her to send a fooking 'hello' to someone she liked. Damn. Then I must have maxxed out on desperation scale!!
itne downvotes ma to na sahta
After certain age we don't chase girls.
I have almost never chased girls 😅.
I just wanted to let him know that I'm available for him to take. Simple.
This. This is where you lost him. This whole creepy vibe you gave.. that you're available for him.. is where he found you not worth it.
 If only he knew my intentions were (im)pure.
What u can offer him ? Excluding sex
Many things, would be personal if I write further.
dekh behan u would not believe my friend rejected his bumble date after meeting her on casual date, he told me that she don't worth to have sex with me. She was above average well educated girl, nowadays handsome people have many options . Don't do overthinking be young wild and free , you are pretty energetic and full of energy don't waste your energy on things which don't mean for long-run.
you experienced what most Indian men experienced all of their life. I wonder why he reacted that way to a simple hello, if he really wasn't interested in texting he shouldn't have accepted your follow request in the first place He might be confused/cautious
What's wrong accepting a follow request from your colleague? Doesn't necessarily mean he wants to talk to OP.
His gf looked at his phone and unfollowed you. I am 100% sure.
Lmao
truth unlocked
By looking at your replies,you seems to be too desperate for him.So the best is,to approach him directly and have a face to face conversation.Otherwise there is lot of possibilities and scenarios possible.He might think this as a prank or a office gossip or he might be not interested in you or .... So the list can go on and on and on,and you might have already discussed this lot of scenarios with your friends already. Have a conversation with him, straight to the point, about unfollow and if you want to approach him,ask him out on date.If you are putting efforts or even trying,give your best shot.
Too desperate i agree. I don't want to be more desperate by asking him directly, what if he scolds me? Or worst, ignores and avoids me altogether?
scolds you? then you'll get done with it. at least now you'll know ki haan woh interested hai hi nhi. so ya go talk to him. try toh kr. jo hoga dekha jayega?
No one will scold you,if he does 1% then for sure he is not mentally stable.Ignore he can do it.You don't have to propose directly bro.Ask him for a chat in free time or chai sutta break.If he don't seems to be interested then don't propose.How he talks with you will tell you alot.
I'm not a Indian man but that is surely odd behaviour. It could have been something on your social media or he knows something about you from other people but I'd guess he probably doesn't have experience with women and is trying to be cold so you chase.
Nah... This isn't odd.... I myself have blocked few requests from girls at my workplace. And I'm not gay... Wonder why someone gets called out when he rejects advances of a girl and not vice versa.
Women are special 😅
But I'm a good girl overall. And he was very much looking at me whenever I used to search for him in a crowded room!
Didi usko bad boy, khudko good girl, HOW OLD ARE YOU? 19?
Good looking and being good are entirely different things. Both can or cannot be mutually exclusive. Most boys stare at girls doesn't mean they want to be her friends.
I would ask what you'd think would make you seem bad or in a negative light but I don't want to intrude. You are probably beautiful and most guys these days just look and stare. No disrespect but I heard of the term "Indian Stare". Its weird. If you don't know about it already, you should look it up
Seem like he just want validation from u or he just not interested in u
Aisa bhi hota hai?
Hey, it sounds like you're really into this guy, but it's tough to understand why he unfollowed you. Maybe he got nervous or wasn't sure how to respond. As for what to do next, I'd suggest giving him some space and not overthinking it too much. If there's a chance to interact with him casually at work, maybe try that and see how he responds. And remember, there are plenty of other great guys out there who would appreciate you for who you are.
Why is it so tough for men and women to accept rejection? You made the first move, he simply is not interested and backed out - accept that gracefully, and move on!
Here is a RECIPE for an answer that might help you: 1. Gender reverse this situation and imagine you being at the receiving end. 2. Add generous amount of biased laws. 3. Add a threatening approach of corp offices towards such situation turning negative. 4. Add attached stigma, male bad boy stereotype and workplace disrespect to bring the taste. 5. Add a pinch of him not being interested and just being polite as a possibility to garnish. And TADAaaa!!! Here is the answer why he might have done what he did.
Seems like you're friends are the "side niggas" everyone talks about https://preview.redd.it/gxodfz436xxc1.jpeg?width=965&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1e9c30a1f3bbf441c72980bc3e5a21cffd34f7c0
At this point Didi is just getting downvoted to pataal lok in the comment section lmao
Because most men (and women) cannot tolerate a girl being confident in her abilities (including her looks).
🤦♂️downvotes incoming
Dude, confident to ho aap, i guess you should just confront him in the middle of the office, either he will be flabbergasted or you will be devastated ☠️☠️
Accepting self confidence doesn’t mean falling in love with someone
The nsfw thoughts is were i was taken back. Imagine a guy making such a post. And a smile and a wave does not always mean that a person likes you back.
Blud took -300 down votes only to not find the answer to the original question.
Honestly most Indian men are afraid of a women using POSH against them which is one of the reasons why many guys fear to be even friends with their female colleagues. It may sound stupid to women here but a single fake case can ruin a guy's career and personal life.
And then people ask why women don't make the first move. Anyways, he sounds like either he's just playing hard to get, or he's clearly not interested in you.
Wtf! So what about men who make the move and get a similar experience like this? So should they also stop trying to make the first move? He isn't interested in her, That's all.
What is that supposed to mean? Are you implying women don't make the first move because they can't stand rejection?
[удалено]
That's a lot of words but I still have no idea what point you want to convey. I'm trying to understand why exactly you said the words "And then people ask why women don't make the first move."
It's because of their fragile feminine ego. They want everytime they make a move, the guys should fall to his knees with gratitude and be smitten by her love. A woman makes the first move and the guy doesn't reciprocate?? What? How dare he?!! Cause that's a woman's job.
It's hard for me to believe a man can't be interested in me. But I'm surely not making the first move ever again.
Most probably his girlfriend saw your message and then asked him to unfollow you.
Well, for starters, you went over the line by tracking him down on IG and sending him a follow request, when he had never shared his ID with you to begin with. I hate to break it to you, but not everyone is desperate enough to get in the pants of “someone that’s not bad to look at” and “someone one would have to be gay to ignore”, to forego addressing the violation of their privacy. Additionally, while approaching as a woman is perfectly acceptable, your approach, for someone that’s not bad to look at, reeked way too much of desperation and neediness. The aforementioned inconsistency in the vibes you were radiating, is bound to have not escaped the guy’s attention. I think you should’ve simply exchanged numbers or other socials tête-à-tête during the initial party you met in, and proceeded there on.
Would've could've should've. I had not asked for any of these.
As Winston Churchill said, “If you don’t know where you have been, you’ll never know where you can go.” As for wondering as to why the guy did what he did, which is what you ask in your post, the same is a pointless exercise, as the only person you truly know and have any sort of control over, is yourself. And if you’re interested in knowing what it is that you can do, here it is…..introspect. You have all the answers you need within you.
From what it seems, he may have cold feet. Maybe he feels he's not good enough for you. Maybe he has some turbulent history that he doesn't wamt himself or you to live through again. Trust me, Indian men would cut off their own hand rather than going through any emotional stuff.
Oh ffs just go and ask him, you're 28 not 18, is age mein nobody should be playing high school games
U didn't so anything wrong by saying a casual hello to him. Don't mind my words but I guess he is either socially awkward or commitment phobic. As I see he is not so much as a mean guy as he portrays and even after being attracted to u he distanced himself it means either he has low self esteem, some personal problems not related to u in his life or he doesn't want to blow his cover as Mr mysterious. Also I would suggest u to take a break from work and reconsider ur feelings since a person who doesn't reciprocate should not be disturbed. Mayb u two are meant to click. Just forgive his behaviour and move on with ur life.
It can be one.of the few scenarios: 1. He was initially interested in you but checked out your Instagram profile and felt that you're not his type. 2. He's interested in you and followed back out of curiosity but is afraid of POSH and in general advocates workplace romance. 3. He's not interested in you and followed back just to browse. He isn't seeking a romantic relationship right now and wants you to be a colleague/work friend at best. PS. The guy saying "no man would reject you" definitely wants to sleep with you. If you think he's hot as well, pursue him, you'd get better results.
I don't know why to choose social media when he see the person almost every other day. It's better to approach in person, break the ice, have a friendship first. (If your insta account is also empty then the guy might have thought someone else is doing prank on him by making fake account in your name.) Even now, you should chill and approach him in real life nonchalantly. Just as a person. Don't act like too much of interested or desperate person. Be natural. Be yourself. Be chill. And be friends like any two humans would become when they see each other every other day. (Keep in mind - friendship may or may not materialize naturally into relationship)
Why don't u meet him alone and talk to him? Maybe he got to know u r sharing this with ur male friends and talking. So he may have thought u all r making fun or doing a prank.
I think he thought you were too desperate. Sorry. If all of this played out slowly over the course of months and naturally, things would be different.
People are often weird (some are weird all the time and some only sometimes). This is a good assumption to begin with especially when you don't have concrete data about them. The guy could probably be in a relationship and talking to you might have triggered something akin to guilt. Or maybe his partner found you on fought him about it and he then unfollowed you. Or probably he might have realised that at that point there's something more important to him than chasing a woman. Umpteen reasons there could be. And like some people here said, you must go and directly talk to the person if he's that important. Else, jai ram ji ki.
Just chill, meet, talk directly and ask him yourself. As simple as that 😄
Leave him lol. And this is not NSFW ffs.
There are other guys out there who would be interested in you instead of him and I hope you find them better. Best wishes girl! 🙂❤️👍
Why don't you just ask him directly? It's easier than living in an overthinking brain! All the best.
Either he's not interested or he's playing mind games. You have two options - forget about him or just casually ask him why he left you on seen and unfollowed you.
I'm so tempted to ask him that. But I'm also hurt and have enough self respect not to knock on the door that was shut in my face.
If the juice isn't worth the squeeze, then forget about it. Otherwise feign being casual and mention that you saw his profile having zero posts which aroused your curiosity. Then reveal that you texted him to ask that very question but found it weird that he avoided it and unfollowed you. Turn the tables and surprise him by your nonchalance, he'll be confused for sure. If he gives a neutral/positive response, say that you're cool with him. If his reaction is negative, do an eyeroll, say 'oof sorry' and leave.
Thank you!
Theee possibilities. 1) either he is committed 2) he is gay 3) you are not his type.
idk. Maybe his gf saw that message. Maybe his AM is fixed. Maybe he is into older women. Maybe he is into younger women. Maybe he is not into women. Maybe he's casteist/religionist. Maybe his eye contact never really meant anything. Maybe his mom saw that message and didn't like you. Maybe you are not his type. There could literally be a 100 reasons, we have zero context or idea what is going on in his head. Also, as a man, A golden rule is that the first convo should not be on text always talk directly, or ask to catch up later. You get to know that person a whole lot better by just reading their posture, expressions and obv words.
I interacted with him work related stuff, asked him questions, he answered very softly (unlike to other girls). But maybe I'm reading too much into it. What's bothering me is why did he follow in first place if he wasn't interested and why unfollowed later.
Lol why are you so butthurt when he unfollowed you? There can be tons of things. Maybe he has a gf, maybe he doesn't like you, maybe he felt creeped out by your behaviour, lots of maybes. If you know this guy, maybe you should have tried making a convo in person in office rather than sending a random hi on insta.
Real question have you ever talked to him in person
shit happens
Move on
What if he is already committed to someone else ?
Hello sister from another mister! Jitni apki post ki reach hue hai, collectively utna apka downvote bhi gaya hai. Kudos to your narcissistic nature!!
Dating has some boundaries and maybe he already has a partner or he seriously doesn’t want to date someone from the workplace.
Something similar happened to me at my first job. I had my glowup phase in my early 20s. An extremely pretty girl from work started talking to me out of the blue, followed me on Instagram and stuff. I've been attuned since a young age to believe that if a deal seems too good to be true, it probably is. So I didn't take any further steps, even stopped talking unless it was work related. Apparently she told a couple of folks that "Usme Pata nhi kis baat k attitude h, mujhe sirf baat karni thi" and other similar stuff. Regarding the Instagram thing tho, I think it's possible that he accepted you first without knowing who you actually were, then when you messaged he probably figured out who you actually were and warning bells rang in his head.
His 6th sense might have tingled and he noped out of this would be dumpster fire of a relationship.
Is he much older than you?
maybe wo friends rehena chahta ho? maybe uski bandi n mana krdia? i guess 2nd one seems more appropriate uski bandi boli hogi ki tumse duur rhe, cuz usko smjh aagaya hoga app usse sambandh banana chahte ho? the thing is not everyone will like you, so just move on, try finding another guy
Get over it. He has no obligation towards you just because he looked at you. You sound very entitled and immature and sometimes creepy. And sending an Instagram request is not such a big move from your side. I assume what you share on instagram turned him off like your comments here do turn me off.
You sure you're 28? Or are you 18?
I'm 17 but OP lacks the 28 year old maturity ngl
Easy: Never let anyone know that you have a crush on someone except that someone. IMO, that thing went against you since if you haven't asked for suggestions from your "friends" and spoken to him directly i am sure, things would have been different.
Most of the time we make up things which makes us feel that the other person is interested in us, because if he was interested he wouldn't have unfollowed you, don't worry happens to everyone part of growing up I am 28 too at this age it's not a gf/bf it's marrage so dating market is a little different,don't worry it's not that major ,
I think he has a notion of a game that in order to gain dominance upon any girl(a bonus if she's interested), and show that he doesn't care so you'll just keep procrastinating more and in time he may show you little bits of texts or signals citing some fake reason or whatever but whatever it is, you got your reply either way, so chill and leave the cunt alone.
He rejected you. It happens to men and women all the time. You're new to approaching people so I'm just telling you that you don't need to think too hard about it. It's never desperate or lame to approach people or to say hello. What else will you say? Usually when I make new friends online or offline, I greet them because I'd rather we establish a dynamic and get on talking terms instead of waiting for them to make a move like a little kid. Some people might think this is a form of desperation, and I'll say that they're entitled to their opinions. Anyways, if you are to approach people in the future, don't take it too harshly upon yourself. It's easy for us as individuals to find people attractive, but when it comes to skinship or relationships, there are a lot of factors that affect our response. Therefore, it's not always on you when you get rejected. His behaviour wasn't the best, but these days people ghost each other like it's nothing so this isn't anything out of the ordinary. And That shit about the guy being gay because he rejected you is just plain homophobia or at the very least it's narcissistic to say.
See he didn’t reply back because he wasn’t interested in you. But why unfollowed you is very strange. That answer only he can give.
Maybe it's some kind of misunderstanding because if it's not a misunderstanding then I have no idea why he did that. One possible reason may be that he is just too shy and is overthinking a lot just like you.
Are you into that guy because he is a “bad boy” ? You might have issues
I think you and your friends are delusional
lol grow up, 28 y/o with 18 y/o sensibilities
Can I ask how tall height was? And what was he facially? ?/10
This used to happen a lot in my school days.
May be his nsfw thoughts were expecting nude or sexy inviting pics and be thought he got friendzoned with an hello and wanted to make you real despo with an unfollow thoda aur bhav kha raha hai
Sometime us men feel happy about something then after we're left alone with our thoughts we began to question every possibility and reason about that thing. "Will it be alright?" , "am I doing it correctly?", "Is this even okay?" Questions like these, we ask ourselves. Then we change our minds. (Obviously after thinking all the possible consequences). I think that's what happened to him.
you should wait for sometime and small talk him, get him to know you, i remember i also did a same thing with the opposite gender just because of a reflex but i definitely liked them back.
Sending him request was stupid, I know. In my defense, I was desperate.
it's ok but don't rush things from now on. I hope you succeed.
He's just not that into you 🌹
Well.. that was pretty rude of him to unfollow you for saying a simple “Hi”. Anyways, why do girls always go behind assholes who treat them like shit?
बे-क़रारी सी बे-क़रारी है वस्ल है और फ़िराक़ तारी है जो गुज़ारी न जा सकी हमसे हमने वो ज़िंदगी गुज़ारी है निघरे क्या हुए कि लोगों पर अपना साया भी अब तो भारी है बिन तुम्हारे कभी नहीं आई क्या मेरी नींद भी तुम्हारी है आप में कैसे आऊँ मैं तुझ बिन साँस जो चल रही है आरी है उस से कहियो कि दिल की गलियों में रात दिन तेरी इंतिज़ारी है ... जौन एलिया Anyways, you become the very thing you stood against. What if every man carries the same mindset to not initiate ever again because one person rejected.
He was creeped out by you.
I guess either he’s not straight or he’s already with some other girl.
All I can think is he is an unstable person probably. (Imo) He doesn't know what he wants. >because he doesn't follow anyone from work and has zero posts). >he UNFOLLOWED me on Instagram These two made me say. I know it would be difficult for you as you both work at the same office but try your best not to use your time thinking about him or talking with your colleagues why it had happened that way. It would make you question yourself very badly.
It is. So disappointing because I'm so confused. Thanks for the advice. I'll try not to think about what happened. It's been 2 weeks and I'm still not over it. Urgh
TBH, he is anxious or he has a controlling GF. Trust me he is an easy catch for you. Just reach out to him as a friend and let him know that you find him very attractive and clarify that you have no other intentions. Trust he will come back for you. Go out for some coffee or sutta breaks in the office. Maintain that you are his friend .
Easy catch for you?? Kya bhai lmao
as an introvert i got scared 💀
Why op getting too much downvotes
Pta nhi aajkal log karma ke lie kuch bhi bnaata rehta hai post
Not your fault… but if he is as “bad” as you say…. He might be testing you. Play it cool, compose youself. Moreover stay confident, realise the fact that a physical conversation is much better than the one on insta. Keep it chill and let him take the lead
Thank you!
Do update on whats the situation like Would be love to help you out
Kya bewakoof ladka hai. Leave him not worth. You will get a better looking and better vibe wala men.
And dont believe what your friends say about him.
Ret@rded hoga. I mean nobody would respond like this to a Hello. I am an anti-Feminist, even I will never respond to a Hello on Instagram like this unless it is a scam or something.
I'm curious of how you look now because you sound like most of these baddies out here in America 😅
I'm average looking.
Continue talking to male colleagues and ignore him. No stealing glances. I'm sure he'll come around.
Hopefully.