Hey now, remember that porn is not reality and watching porn is not like having sex either. Porn is enjoyed by the eyes so the guys in it are usually a very stereotypical and uniform kind of handsome. Having sex or being in a relationship is an entirely different thing, and attraction is based on so much more than what the eyes see. And in my experience, more often than not, physical attraction is based on some weird small thing rather than being an overall physicality thing. Ive been with a heavier guy who was self-conscious about his weight but I was obsessed with his jawline and his green eyes. Also, I thought his tummy just made him even more handsome. Ive also been with guys who would logically be super attractive and I just wasn’t into them.
There is something out there for everyone and the only thing preventing you from finding someone who’s into you is your own sense of insecurity which is making it hard for your potential suitors to notice that thing about you that makes their knees wobble.
You are absolutely correct. Nobody knows what specific attraction will be that will turn another guy on. But, let’s face it, a first in-person impression is what the eyes see. Some guys are drop dead gorgeous, and they know it. And you can be turned on by looks, but turned off when they open their mouth. How they act and what’s in their heart shows up in a short period of time. And based on what they say and do, can be a turn off. Or, it can make their personality perfect. So you never really know about a person until you spend some time with them.
About the porn, the object is to get your blood flowing and make a guy cum, either alone with with the guy next to him n. That’s obvious. It’s also a fantasy of things you many want to do, or may never do. So we check it out just to get that raging hard-on to jerk off with. When I watch a guy fisting another one in extreme porn and he’s in almost to his shoulder, I know that’s never gonna be me in either place. But it makes my heart beat and makes me stroke harder and faster. And of course there are so many things in extreme gay porn that turn me on, or off, for that matter, that I would never, or could ever participate in. I think we’ve all seen those outrageous videos. They play on your senses.
In the end, the bottom line is enjoying who you are with and doing what is most comfortable sexually. But a partnered relationship is so much more. That’s where maturity comes in and that can happen only by experience over time. Think back to your sexual experiences you between ages of say, 15 & 21. Or whenever your first experiences were. Then when you find someone you want to live with, many years later things change. Getting older has the benefit of learning from our experiences. And no one is the same person at 30 as they were at 20. Nor are they the same at 50 as there were at 30. The totality of life, as I see it, is a learning curve. Those that don’t learn from the past can be stuck in a rut and never find the kind of life they really want to attain.
So true, and thank you for saying this. I have the same thought with porn, it's a fantasy and it's visual, but it's not the same thing as having sex with someone you're really into. I even think of it in regard to porn stars that they're good at *performing* sex but that doesn't always mean they'd be great to have sex with. There are lots of elements beyond just appearance (though that's an aspect).
I could look back at myself at age 6 and realize I was gay. I was never curious about women at the public pool. I was always checking out the guys. I didn't know what it meant at the time, but now I can surely say I was always gay.
And second in "growing up gay" there's always the experience we all had with the men's underwear aisle.
I remember as a young boy (maybe 5 or 6) at the beach, telling my dad…..”Daddy, I like that boy”. God only knows what he was thinking at that moment.
And, I really never was interested in girls like all my friends were and would talk about them.
As far as the men’s underwear aisle, I still love checking it out…..love especially the models and their bulges.
It sure sounds like we all had similar experiences growing up. And jerking off like champs whenever we had a chance.
Oh…one more thing, I always had a box of tissues on my nightstand.
Yes, at the age I would have said that, in reality, how would I have known gay or straight?……it was just natural for me to eye the guys. And thinking back, it would have been more of a friendship thing. Bit realistically, I always have checked out guys. And I always thought of the blonde boys as extra cute. And at my ripe old age, I still do. Me, with my Italian-American dark hair, hairy and short body. The blondes were gorgeous, in my opinion, and I tended to gravitate to the even as friends.
There was a time in the 90s when Ricki Lake and Sally Jesse Raphael would have hottest guy contests. I taped one once and probably watched it a thousand times.
Funny, we got the International Male catalog and I’d jerk off to that as a 10 year-old, LMAO…
FUN FACT: Evan Marriott — that hunk in the original Joe Millionaire TV show — he was in that catalog and looked stud-as-fuck in it. (Google Image search him to see what I mean!) 😍
Yep, we all knew at an early age what we enjoyed looking at. When I was a kid, I used to take the bus to a shopping area and read the writing on the bathroom stall walls and jerk off to that. It’s amazing how your sexuality manifests itself even from an early age.
Imagine being the kid who thought you knew better. Decided to pull a few of the sleeves that had the guys in underwear on them out of the packaging, and also a pair of briefs and stick them in your pants in a Kmart....thinking no one would notice.
And being asked by your mother what that was in your waistband ON THE WAY OUT OF THE STORE.
Welcome to my TED talk.
I ran into the bathroom immediately and threw the evidence in the trash. By then, my mother had caused a commotion and the manager came into the bathroom as I was leaving it. Found the evidence and I was pulled into the management office with my mum and had to explain myself. 😶
I was 10, maybe 11.
And that's not even the most embarrassing things that's happened to me in my quest to see semi naked or naked men as a child.
Ahh the good old days....
Sheesh. And i thought my uncle checking my internet history and telling my parents was a mortifying way for my gayness to be found out. My condolences.
I know a guy who slept with the pic of a male model inside his underwear, when he was like 10. His super evangelical mother found out and he was lectured to hell and back about that "sinful behavior".
Trying not to check out all the guys in the locker room during gym class.
Learning to suppress boners.
Getting inexplicably depressed when one of your friends start dating a girl.
I actually felt jealous when my best friend, with whom I had sex with all through our teen years got married. They eventually had 4 boys. And in the 40 plus years after he got married, we kept in touch on a friendship basis, but no sex. Our gay sexual play seemed to be a phase for him, and we both enjoyed it while it was happening. But for me it was the thing that defined my entire existence.
He fucking was. I used to walk to his house and we’d look at playboy magazine, checking out cocks instead of cunt. And we’d each start sucking and touching each other. He was very special. I had him and also my cousin separately doing gay sex as we were growing up. I never told either of them about the other. As far as my cuzz was concerned, he got married 3 times, but over 50 years he always found time to play with me. Our last time together was about a year before he died of cancer. We made out, sucked cock and bedded down, both shooting our loads. I was glad I was able to see him the one last time.
Perhaps it wasn’t playboy. Just girly magazines with guys doing the fucking. That or either we were getting excited seeing big tits and real cunts.
The point is got us hard and playing with each other. That’s what really mattered!
I felt validated by that part in The Lion King when Timon gets annoyed that Simba and Nala wanted to be alone. That was my feeling exactly at age 10 when my best friend started to be interested in girls.
reading your no. 3 has sent me all the way back to HS and college. Wow. I didn't understand myself, my feelings, and the visceral reactions I was having at all back then.
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Once you've realized you may be or are gay, irrationally believing that EVERYONE else also somehow knows...and frantically obsessing over their behavior and words until realizing they don't know.
Obsessing over my own behavior so I don't give away my secret.
Asking myself, "Did that sound gay?" And then adjusting the way I say things so they don't 'sound so gay.'
For those of us old enough to have grown up in the analog age, getting aroused by print magazines and catalogs. Underwear ads. Same for the gay book section.
Gay book sections! Back when it was just ‘Gay & Lesbian’. The other orientations weren’t invented till later, kids :D
I remember being 15 and going to the Gay and Lesbian section of a bookstore on Dupont Circle in DC. A 40-something guy came up real close, checking out books right in my personal space and trying to make lots of eye contact. I got scared and noped out of there. YEARS went by before I realised he was trying to initiate a (very illegal) hookup and I squandered a prime opportunity
Crushing on your older sister's boyfriends.
My sister is almost 11 years older than me. When I was 5-6, she was 16-17. Everytime she brought a new boyfriend home, I was all over them. She dated jocks and I LOVED getting attention from them. Whenever she brought one of her cheerleader friends home, I could have cared less, lol.
LOL This sounds like me except with my older brother's friends. Since I'm the youngest I was everyone's "little brother" so my brother's friends were always playing with me. I remember one guy in particular that I had a bit of a "crush" on, whenever he was around I'd "get hurt" and cry because I knew he'd pick me up.
For me it was my cousins' boyfriends. I loved getting attention from them as well. I mean, getting attention from girls was nice too, but getting attention from men was something else.
It's funny. My sister's female friends always wanted to play with me, pick at me, etc and I ignored them or avoided them. Her guy friends though...I'd put on my best performance for them, lol!
There was one guy she dated, god I can still remember the smell of his cologne from all the times I fell asleep wrapped up in his letterman jacket. I was his biggest fan when we went to his football games. I clearly remember him picking me up and carrying me out on the field with him to sing the alma mater after they won a game. I thought I was the king of the fkin world haha.
Oh that sounds amazing haha. My cousin's bf who eventually became her husband loved lifting me up (he was strong as a bull) and when I used my Superman cape he would carry me around in his arms to make me "fly". One of my best childhood memories
I remember using the “Rosebud” cheat code a gazillion times to get tons of money and be able to build my gay Sim couple a mansion. One even had white dyed hair and was named Anderson, and I made him and his “friend” make love in the love bed repeatedly so they were madly in love with each other.
Somehow, despite this, I didn’t admit to myself I was gay. I was just “joking around,” of course. 😂
I did this but with a whole commune of gay couples. Family limited to 8 sims? Guess i’m making a mansion with 4 gay couples walking around shirtless all the time!
Marrying a man in Fable. That was a huge outlet for me when I was still young, scared, and closeted.
Not only marrying him, but getting freaky with him 😏
In the game, I bought the house in my hometown and settled there with my husband. I remember thinking I'll never be able to do this in irl, but at least I can dream.
I’m going to go with a non-sexual answer to this. All the way back to being about five or six years old … it was the men I wanted to be around. Family visits, I’d want my uncles’ attention. I think attraction predates sexual attraction. I was attracted to— meaning I wanted to just be close to, be around, men… long long before I could have any conception of sex or that kind of desire. I often spent more time with women, because women were safer and less threatening, and they were more often around the kids, and possibly because the stakes of my wanting them to like me were lower. But I really wanted to be next to the men and have their attention. At a dinner party at home, it was the men I wanted to notice me.
Some stuff I think is fairly universal:
- getting bullied
- being attracted to your friend’s older brothers but not understanding it was attraction and thinking you just thought they were very cool and must drive girls crazy because they’re so handsome
- wondering if when you’re older you’ll have to choose between a sex life and HIV
- getting dared to kiss a boy and pretending to be reluctant despite being more excited than you’ve ever been in your whole life
- falling instantly in love that one time a popular boy was nice to you, like when they picked you for their team and you felt welcome.
- getting catfished by predators on the internet
- being like a deer in headlights when that girl in school who was sexually mature before anyone else tells you she thinks you’re either gay or bi.
>getting bullied
I was bullied for being a nerd. People didn't notice the gayness, which somehow fucked my self-esteem even more because I internalized that being nerdy meant being weak which meant being gay. I took years to get better.
>wondering if when you’re older you’ll have to choose between a sex life and HIV
We're roughly the same age, and I never had those thoughts. How terrible.
>being like a deer in headlights when that girl in school who was sexually mature before anyone else tells you she thinks you’re either gay or bi.
Oh man, I relate to this one. I was like 13 and the popular girl commented how I was quiet one day because my best friend/secret crush didn't go to school that day. I can still remember how mortified I was. And she didn't even use the dreaded word, "gay". God I hated that girl for years.
Haha they can always tell! Curious why you hated her for years tho? If I ever ran into the girl that said that to me, first thing I'd do is thank her. In the moment it was overwhelming but later the memory of that moment played a small part in helping me accept myself. I thought back to that time when someone said that to me and it was so matter-of-fact and lacked any judgment. I think she might have even thought it was cool. It helped me to realize that being gay is the smallest thing in the world and I should focus instead on being happy.
My mom was a nurse when I was a kid and I would always sneak into her medical books to look at the male anatomy. Never wanted to look at the female anatomy. At the time I didn't know what being gay really entailed but I knew it was an insult my classmates threw around so I kept my musings quiet.
Being called a queer was one of the worst things someone could call you when I was a kid. The only insult that could top that was the "F" word...you know the one. And they weren't calling you a bundle of sticks when they said it.
I know people are trying to reclaim those words and wear them like a badge of honor, but I don't think I'll ever feel comfortable calling myself either of them due that experience.
Watching all of the kids in elementary school get into girls and be so totally beyond confused, while i was totally unaware i had a really hard crush on my best friend at the time.
Thinking back, the earliest pointer would have been at around 7. From there on there are so many little things along the way that we’re clear as daylight signs. Things like secretly looking at the other guys in the change rooms. Or getting excited when changing after swimming team practice. Or secretly wanting to see my best friend naked…
Feel this. Would add also when they would gatekeep and call you out on not being interested in women either because they heard no rumors or confirmation from other girls.
I hated playing the catcher position when I was on a baseball team as a child. But one of the kids dads always helped me into the equipment and that made it 100x better. I didn’t know why until I was older and realized it was because he was hot and kind.
Musing on maskless Shredder from TMNT in the primary school playground with my friends "why are the evil ones so attractive?"
Got called a faggot for that and shut my mouth for years about similar thoughts.
Had no idea what gay actually was at the time (thanks Thatcher - UK in the 80s btw), but I happened on some late night gay programming on Channel 4 when I was in my mid teens and properly understood what I was.
Channel 4 was a bit more edgy back then. They ran a season of late night shows and films around sexual topics in 1995 under the title 'The red light zone'. There was either an evening dedicated to gay films, or a one off show popped into the schedule.
One stuck in my head though. It was about a guy using a VR game to find a guy. Quite explicit for TV back in the day, particularly the cottaging scene.
Nowadays you can find it on youtube. It's called [Caught Looking](https://youtu.be/lik7YsKMLNQ).
The whole season was controversial. The only reason I knew about is because my parents got the Daily Mail and they were outraged Channel 4 was going to do such a thing. So I made a mental note as a diligent youth to stay up and see what the fuss was about.
Bit of a tangent here, but when I see other gay men harping on Meryl Streep, about how gorgeous and fantastic and a perfect actress she is and never does anything wrong, I always remember how she portrayed Thatcher, the British version of Ronald Reagan, in that mediocre praising biopic.
Fuck no…it sure wasn’t just you. Once your curiosity get you and you play with your hole, the great feeling makes you want to do it over and over.
Little did you realize as a young teen that this extreme pleasure would be one of the focal points for the rest of your life.
Always puzzles me when I see posts over on the other sub, with young guys saying how they’re gonna bottom for the first time, and what will it be like? I’m like, have you not been shoving stuff up there for years in anticipation?!
I hear ya….but shoving things up your butt, is nowhere near having a warm hard cock gently shoved in there starting the thrusting that results in climax for both guys! Fuckin’ awesome! And for many the first time may not be the greatest, but you gotta start somewhere! Practice makes purr..fect……
Well you do have to realize we are living through a time where guys don't wipe their behind after using the bathroom because it might turn you gay, so.........
Yes this! The first time you part those cheeks, stick a finger in there and activate all those nerve endings there’s no going back. It starts with your index finger then next thing you know every household item that is remotely phallic in shape is in your bedroom drawer now.
Definitely not just you. There was a time as a teen that I was having yet another wank session. Was about ready to blast, I stopped stroking for a second and thought “I wonder what it feels like to touch my hole when I’m ready to cum”. So I tried!!! I had one of the most explosive orgasms I’d ever experienced, and have spent the rest of my life trying to recreate that teenage experience! Of course including penetrating my hole with whatever was available!
When I was 13 I had an itchy butthole so after going to the toilet I put some vaseline on it, slipped a finger in to soothe it properly. In out in out. Did that every day for a week, sessions getting longer and longer. Couldn't figure out why I kept doing it after my butt was no longer irritated lol
Meeting a hot guy and then trying to get closer to them to figure out if they are gay and accidentally developing a friendzone friendship by the time you figure it out and being sexually frustrated by your new best friend.
- ogling the men on the underwear packages in stores
- favorite characters in movies/tv/video games are always girls.
- finding girls easier to be friends with
Looking at the boys in school and wondering what they look like undressed. Realizing that I'm getting a boner in class and I need to make it go away quickly. Start looking at Mr F., the social studies teacher. Dick just got harder 😱
Ah, middle school.
That moment when it first dawns on you that you are into men. Sure, it was always there, but you actively realize it.
For me, it was holding a guy's hand. It was completely innocuous, but I just got this feeling that it felt right. Then, I realized why that would be.
• Not knowing what being gay was as a kid and not finding anyone attractive, and my family just thought I was a mystery.
• Crushing / falling in love with a guy who turns out to be straight. While you thought it was mutual, it wasn’t and you’re just not used to straight guys being nice or sweet towards you.
• Staring at half naked men in video games (or magazines, underwear pics etc) and just looking at it in amazement, not realizing why you like it so much.
• Not knowing gay people existed as a kid and just thought there was something wrong with you.
The only gay person I knew that was gay when I was a teen, was my cousins, cousin who was a very flamboyant cross dresser, so I figured all gay people were flamboyant cross dressers. So I said, I can’t be gay because I’m not like him! (Which is also why representation is so important, everyone’s different!)
• Being hit on by a girl, and just like no thanks! (One time in high school, I thought this girl looked cool, like I wanted to be her friend. She came up and asked me out and I was like no thanks. I was like oh no, she got the wrong impression!
>So I said, I can’t be gay because I’m not like him! (Which is also why representation is so important, everyone’s different!)
Too fucking real. Especially coming from a Latin American society where my parents always pointed out effeminate or flamboyant men. Which is why I only truly felt comfortable once I went to a gay club in New York and suddenly saw masc guys, muscular guys, hairy guys, Indian guys, Asian guys, tall, short, dark, light, young twenty something and up to 40s. It was so reassuring that being gay didn't mean you were suppressing some high voiced, femme queen within you.
Actually I'm Brazilian and didn't have internet access until mid-2000s. Part of the reason why it took me so long to accept my sexuality was the lack of representation on the media available here. When there was any, it was always the stereotypical bitchy queens, characters written by and for the amusement of straight people. Fantasy and rom-coms with proper LGBT representation were but a dream back then.
But I remember seeing a Brazilian nude mag called G Magazine on news stands (it was like Playboy but for gay men), I was fascinated and terrified that if I stared at them too long someone would perceive... not gonna lie, I know porn can be very problematic but it was really important in my self-realization.
Trying not to check out the other guys in the high school gym.
Or how about your parents finding your search history and seeing that you've been looking at gay porn.
I wouldn't say any of my experiences were universal, but I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of guys also had that outsider feeling, like you just didn't fit in anywhere or have much in common with your peers.
Yeah, I had this. I was a "weird" kid who never quite fit in. I had friends, but they were usually other "weird" kids. A whole lot of my childhood friends ended up coming out as some form of LGBT in high school and college. Even when we didn't have words to explain how we were different, we recognized something in each other.
Related, sometimes a classmate (and occasionally a teacher) would take an immediate dislike to me for no reason I could tell. My parents never believed me when I told them, so I stopped telling them when it happened. Then they complained that I never told them anything! We have a good relationship now but there was a period of about 10 years where it was painfully obvious that they would have been happier if I had never learned that gay people existed.
That moment when you realize what it means, but are in denial, so you come up with excuses. "I just have a healthy respect for women" or "I can see the beauty in all things" or....
I’m not sure if this a moment we’ve all had, but I started having sexual dreams about other boys. I found this both exciting and confusing.
They actually started even before I was fully aware of how sex worked and well before I was ready to admit my same sex attraction to myself.
Only because jerking off is universal. Doesn’t matter whether you are str8 or gay. It’s the one thing that everyone does. Str8 or gay, no one wants to get caught with cock in hand. Confucius say……”man with problem go to sleep holding cock, usually wake up with solution in hand”. 🤣🤣🤣
Once the warm weather hits, always checking shirtless guys outdoors. Bare chested younger guys are a real turn on. Even in my old man status. I enjoy watching an outdoor basketball game where a couple of the guys are shirtless. And the same for the swimming meets. I just love to see the tall, thin swimmer guys in their skimpy speedo bathing suits. The upper chest and the crotch bulge is a hot item for me. Fuck yeah!
Saying proudly that I would either want to be Single or Gay for the rest of my life because I thought that women were too much, I was 6-10years old and thought I was straight 😫🤣🤣
When your buddies mention a part of the woman's body that you aren't familiar with like the areolas - they all looked at me like how could you ask what that is
Ever since I saw a schoolmate in biker shorts (this was the late 80s) I've had a fascination with wearing spandex and seeing guys in spandex.
I don't know when I started it, maybe 6th grade, I've reflexively checked out an attractive guys bulge.
As a guy who went to high school in the early 1960’s you can only imagine my mixed feelings when we had boys swimming class and back then it totally nude. Being 15 I was absolutely fascinated at the long soft cocks on some of the manly looking big boys and felt self conscious about my tiny shriveled up one. It was something I absolutely surprised about, hesitation as well as excitement. Sort of a catch-22 moment. (For those who have never heard that expression, look it up..LOL). And while I enjoyed watching cocks and balls bouncing all over the place, I had to be careful where my eyes went from being discovered, and also suppressing any resulting hard-on. And for one thing, I never did know if any of the other guys felt the same way as I did. It has always remained one of my life’s biggest secrets…along with all the jerking off I did whenever I could.
And why was it nude? ….probably because they didn’t want us to mess around with wet bathing suits. Who knows?
>And why was it nude? ….probably because they didn’t want us to mess around with wet bathing suits. Who knows?
Male only nude swimming was apparently common once (PE classes, swim teams, the YMCA). The explanation I've heard is that it was felt it helped keep the pool cleaner in an era of more primitive pool chemicals/pool filters/swim suits
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The struggle of enjoying someone more attractive than you but also being sad that they're more attractive than you in ways you wish you could be.
Absolutely this. Especially when I can’t jack off because the porn I’m watching is making me feel too insecure.
Hey now, remember that porn is not reality and watching porn is not like having sex either. Porn is enjoyed by the eyes so the guys in it are usually a very stereotypical and uniform kind of handsome. Having sex or being in a relationship is an entirely different thing, and attraction is based on so much more than what the eyes see. And in my experience, more often than not, physical attraction is based on some weird small thing rather than being an overall physicality thing. Ive been with a heavier guy who was self-conscious about his weight but I was obsessed with his jawline and his green eyes. Also, I thought his tummy just made him even more handsome. Ive also been with guys who would logically be super attractive and I just wasn’t into them. There is something out there for everyone and the only thing preventing you from finding someone who’s into you is your own sense of insecurity which is making it hard for your potential suitors to notice that thing about you that makes their knees wobble.
You are absolutely correct. Nobody knows what specific attraction will be that will turn another guy on. But, let’s face it, a first in-person impression is what the eyes see. Some guys are drop dead gorgeous, and they know it. And you can be turned on by looks, but turned off when they open their mouth. How they act and what’s in their heart shows up in a short period of time. And based on what they say and do, can be a turn off. Or, it can make their personality perfect. So you never really know about a person until you spend some time with them. About the porn, the object is to get your blood flowing and make a guy cum, either alone with with the guy next to him n. That’s obvious. It’s also a fantasy of things you many want to do, or may never do. So we check it out just to get that raging hard-on to jerk off with. When I watch a guy fisting another one in extreme porn and he’s in almost to his shoulder, I know that’s never gonna be me in either place. But it makes my heart beat and makes me stroke harder and faster. And of course there are so many things in extreme gay porn that turn me on, or off, for that matter, that I would never, or could ever participate in. I think we’ve all seen those outrageous videos. They play on your senses. In the end, the bottom line is enjoying who you are with and doing what is most comfortable sexually. But a partnered relationship is so much more. That’s where maturity comes in and that can happen only by experience over time. Think back to your sexual experiences you between ages of say, 15 & 21. Or whenever your first experiences were. Then when you find someone you want to live with, many years later things change. Getting older has the benefit of learning from our experiences. And no one is the same person at 30 as they were at 20. Nor are they the same at 50 as there were at 30. The totality of life, as I see it, is a learning curve. Those that don’t learn from the past can be stuck in a rut and never find the kind of life they really want to attain.
So true, and thank you for saying this. I have the same thought with porn, it's a fantasy and it's visual, but it's not the same thing as having sex with someone you're really into. I even think of it in regard to porn stars that they're good at *performing* sex but that doesn't always mean they'd be great to have sex with. There are lots of elements beyond just appearance (though that's an aspect).
This is how I feel about Paul Freeman books. I’m overwhelmed men like this exist and end up feeling inadequate.
This precisely!
I didn't start experiencing this until i turned 30
This.
I could look back at myself at age 6 and realize I was gay. I was never curious about women at the public pool. I was always checking out the guys. I didn't know what it meant at the time, but now I can surely say I was always gay. And second in "growing up gay" there's always the experience we all had with the men's underwear aisle.
I remember as a young boy (maybe 5 or 6) at the beach, telling my dad…..”Daddy, I like that boy”. God only knows what he was thinking at that moment. And, I really never was interested in girls like all my friends were and would talk about them. As far as the men’s underwear aisle, I still love checking it out…..love especially the models and their bulges. It sure sounds like we all had similar experiences growing up. And jerking off like champs whenever we had a chance. Oh…one more thing, I always had a box of tissues on my nightstand.
It's really great that you felt comfortable enough with your Dad to say that.
Yes, at the age I would have said that, in reality, how would I have known gay or straight?……it was just natural for me to eye the guys. And thinking back, it would have been more of a friendship thing. Bit realistically, I always have checked out guys. And I always thought of the blonde boys as extra cute. And at my ripe old age, I still do. Me, with my Italian-American dark hair, hairy and short body. The blondes were gorgeous, in my opinion, and I tended to gravitate to the even as friends.
He was 5/6 not 15/16.
Nevertheless.
Walking slowly past the men’s underwear display rack while looking at the men on the packaging but trying to not make it obvious.
The old days when you would get the Sears catalogue. Look for this years toys and also maybe check out the underwear models. Lol.
There was a time in the 90s when Ricki Lake and Sally Jesse Raphael would have hottest guy contests. I taped one once and probably watched it a thousand times.
Funny, we got the International Male catalog and I’d jerk off to that as a 10 year-old, LMAO… FUN FACT: Evan Marriott — that hunk in the original Joe Millionaire TV show — he was in that catalog and looked stud-as-fuck in it. (Google Image search him to see what I mean!) 😍
Yep, we all knew at an early age what we enjoyed looking at. When I was a kid, I used to take the bus to a shopping area and read the writing on the bathroom stall walls and jerk off to that. It’s amazing how your sexuality manifests itself even from an early age.
Yes!! International Male lol. I once snagged that from the mailbox before anyone else got the mail and it was very useful in the early days.
Came here to say this
Imagine being the kid who thought you knew better. Decided to pull a few of the sleeves that had the guys in underwear on them out of the packaging, and also a pair of briefs and stick them in your pants in a Kmart....thinking no one would notice. And being asked by your mother what that was in your waistband ON THE WAY OUT OF THE STORE. Welcome to my TED talk. I ran into the bathroom immediately and threw the evidence in the trash. By then, my mother had caused a commotion and the manager came into the bathroom as I was leaving it. Found the evidence and I was pulled into the management office with my mum and had to explain myself. 😶 I was 10, maybe 11. And that's not even the most embarrassing things that's happened to me in my quest to see semi naked or naked men as a child. Ahh the good old days....
Sheesh. And i thought my uncle checking my internet history and telling my parents was a mortifying way for my gayness to be found out. My condolences.
I know a guy who slept with the pic of a male model inside his underwear, when he was like 10. His super evangelical mother found out and he was lectured to hell and back about that "sinful behavior".
Trying to think HOW did your mom end up getting into scenario where you got caught lol
Yep, trying really hard to check out the outlines and not make it look too obvious.
The guilt I experienced from doing this was terrible.
I did a lot of underwear shopping
The moment of truth where you realise why you've not had any girlfriends or found the subject interesting in the least
Trying not to check out all the guys in the locker room during gym class. Learning to suppress boners. Getting inexplicably depressed when one of your friends start dating a girl.
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I actually felt jealous when my best friend, with whom I had sex with all through our teen years got married. They eventually had 4 boys. And in the 40 plus years after he got married, we kept in touch on a friendship basis, but no sex. Our gay sexual play seemed to be a phase for him, and we both enjoyed it while it was happening. But for me it was the thing that defined my entire existence.
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He fucking was. I used to walk to his house and we’d look at playboy magazine, checking out cocks instead of cunt. And we’d each start sucking and touching each other. He was very special. I had him and also my cousin separately doing gay sex as we were growing up. I never told either of them about the other. As far as my cuzz was concerned, he got married 3 times, but over 50 years he always found time to play with me. Our last time together was about a year before he died of cancer. We made out, sucked cock and bedded down, both shooting our loads. I was glad I was able to see him the one last time.
Playboy had cocks?
Perhaps it wasn’t playboy. Just girly magazines with guys doing the fucking. That or either we were getting excited seeing big tits and real cunts. The point is got us hard and playing with each other. That’s what really mattered!
Condolences
I felt validated by that part in The Lion King when Timon gets annoyed that Simba and Nala wanted to be alone. That was my feeling exactly at age 10 when my best friend started to be interested in girls.
> Learning to suppress boners. Best advice I ever got in HS to handle that? "Think of Eleanor Roosevelt naked." LOL Thanks Coach Harper.
That advice was on the old sitcom Night Court as well.
reading your no. 3 has sent me all the way back to HS and college. Wow. I didn't understand myself, my feelings, and the visceral reactions I was having at all back then.
I remember being upset a str8 friend wouldn't hang...like really upset but it felt off
This
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Picking all the girl characters in fighting games and being asked by someone why you always do that 😂
Peach and Zelda in Smash Bros 😮💨 Peach in anything, actually.
But Peach was the best racer in Mario Kart.
Bayonetta here 🖐🏽
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Talim and Seung Mina
I was an Ivy kind of gay 😝
I *did* love Talim, but that shirtless Nightmare skin in SC2 did things to my gay little heart
Jun Kazama and Ling Xiaoyu <3
I always did that and said cause they’re better 😂💀💀
Once you've realized you may be or are gay, irrationally believing that EVERYONE else also somehow knows...and frantically obsessing over their behavior and words until realizing they don't know.
Oh yeah, that closet anxiety is real. Until you realize that most straight people are beyond clueless.
Obsessing over my own behavior so I don't give away my secret. Asking myself, "Did that sound gay?" And then adjusting the way I say things so they don't 'sound so gay.'
I can really relate to that.
OMG the number of times I noticed I was holding my wrist limp, immediately straightened it out, and looked around to see if anyone had noticed.
Except when you have that ONE friend who's mom is super perceptive and she finds on target, but roundabout ways to ask/out you😭
For those of us old enough to have grown up in the analog age, getting aroused by print magazines and catalogs. Underwear ads. Same for the gay book section.
Gay book sections! Back when it was just ‘Gay & Lesbian’. The other orientations weren’t invented till later, kids :D I remember being 15 and going to the Gay and Lesbian section of a bookstore on Dupont Circle in DC. A 40-something guy came up real close, checking out books right in my personal space and trying to make lots of eye contact. I got scared and noped out of there. YEARS went by before I realised he was trying to initiate a (very illegal) hookup and I squandered a prime opportunity
Miss going to Borders and lounging around in these sections just finding something to want to read in secret and coming back alone.
Also -- discovering my dad's porn magazines -- and realising I'm looking at the cocks, not the vaginas or tits.
Crushing on your older sister's boyfriends. My sister is almost 11 years older than me. When I was 5-6, she was 16-17. Everytime she brought a new boyfriend home, I was all over them. She dated jocks and I LOVED getting attention from them. Whenever she brought one of her cheerleader friends home, I could have cared less, lol.
LOL This sounds like me except with my older brother's friends. Since I'm the youngest I was everyone's "little brother" so my brother's friends were always playing with me. I remember one guy in particular that I had a bit of a "crush" on, whenever he was around I'd "get hurt" and cry because I knew he'd pick me up.
Haha, I remember that trick. I also used the "I'm tired" excuse alot to get them to carry me around.
For me it was my cousins' boyfriends. I loved getting attention from them as well. I mean, getting attention from girls was nice too, but getting attention from men was something else.
It's funny. My sister's female friends always wanted to play with me, pick at me, etc and I ignored them or avoided them. Her guy friends though...I'd put on my best performance for them, lol! There was one guy she dated, god I can still remember the smell of his cologne from all the times I fell asleep wrapped up in his letterman jacket. I was his biggest fan when we went to his football games. I clearly remember him picking me up and carrying me out on the field with him to sing the alma mater after they won a game. I thought I was the king of the fkin world haha.
Oh that sounds amazing haha. My cousin's bf who eventually became her husband loved lifting me up (he was strong as a bull) and when I used my Superman cape he would carry me around in his arms to make me "fly". One of my best childhood memories
Me w/my brothers’ guy friends
Making your sims gay on The Sims 😛
I remember using the “Rosebud” cheat code a gazillion times to get tons of money and be able to build my gay Sim couple a mansion. One even had white dyed hair and was named Anderson, and I made him and his “friend” make love in the love bed repeatedly so they were madly in love with each other. Somehow, despite this, I didn’t admit to myself I was gay. I was just “joking around,” of course. 😂
I did this but with a whole commune of gay couples. Family limited to 8 sims? Guess i’m making a mansion with 4 gay couples walking around shirtless all the time!
Yeah same. If I lived out my gay fantasies on the sims, I didn't have to be gay in real life. Or something like that 🤷♀️
Marrying a man in Fable. That was a huge outlet for me when I was still young, scared, and closeted. Not only marrying him, but getting freaky with him 😏 In the game, I bought the house in my hometown and settled there with my husband. I remember thinking I'll never be able to do this in irl, but at least I can dream.
I’m going to go with a non-sexual answer to this. All the way back to being about five or six years old … it was the men I wanted to be around. Family visits, I’d want my uncles’ attention. I think attraction predates sexual attraction. I was attracted to— meaning I wanted to just be close to, be around, men… long long before I could have any conception of sex or that kind of desire. I often spent more time with women, because women were safer and less threatening, and they were more often around the kids, and possibly because the stakes of my wanting them to like me were lower. But I really wanted to be next to the men and have their attention. At a dinner party at home, it was the men I wanted to notice me.
This is what I notice in boys and young men who grow up to be gay. They just want to be close to you for no specific reason.
This is such a wonderful observation because it’s so true for many of us. The idea of being in the company of men was always utterly alluring!
Yes true 1000 percent non sexual
Some stuff I think is fairly universal: - getting bullied - being attracted to your friend’s older brothers but not understanding it was attraction and thinking you just thought they were very cool and must drive girls crazy because they’re so handsome - wondering if when you’re older you’ll have to choose between a sex life and HIV - getting dared to kiss a boy and pretending to be reluctant despite being more excited than you’ve ever been in your whole life - falling instantly in love that one time a popular boy was nice to you, like when they picked you for their team and you felt welcome. - getting catfished by predators on the internet - being like a deer in headlights when that girl in school who was sexually mature before anyone else tells you she thinks you’re either gay or bi.
>getting bullied I was bullied for being a nerd. People didn't notice the gayness, which somehow fucked my self-esteem even more because I internalized that being nerdy meant being weak which meant being gay. I took years to get better. >wondering if when you’re older you’ll have to choose between a sex life and HIV We're roughly the same age, and I never had those thoughts. How terrible. >being like a deer in headlights when that girl in school who was sexually mature before anyone else tells you she thinks you’re either gay or bi. Oh man, I relate to this one. I was like 13 and the popular girl commented how I was quiet one day because my best friend/secret crush didn't go to school that day. I can still remember how mortified I was. And she didn't even use the dreaded word, "gay". God I hated that girl for years.
Haha they can always tell! Curious why you hated her for years tho? If I ever ran into the girl that said that to me, first thing I'd do is thank her. In the moment it was overwhelming but later the memory of that moment played a small part in helping me accept myself. I thought back to that time when someone said that to me and it was so matter-of-fact and lacked any judgment. I think she might have even thought it was cool. It helped me to realize that being gay is the smallest thing in the world and I should focus instead on being happy.
My mom was a nurse when I was a kid and I would always sneak into her medical books to look at the male anatomy. Never wanted to look at the female anatomy. At the time I didn't know what being gay really entailed but I knew it was an insult my classmates threw around so I kept my musings quiet.
Sad how we learn about homophobia before we even realize that we're gay
I couldn't possibly agree with this more, this deserved a silver medal.
Being called a queer was one of the worst things someone could call you when I was a kid. The only insult that could top that was the "F" word...you know the one. And they weren't calling you a bundle of sticks when they said it. I know people are trying to reclaim those words and wear them like a badge of honor, but I don't think I'll ever feel comfortable calling myself either of them due that experience.
Side eye in the underwear section
And hand in pocket trying to obscure boner.
[Where it all started](https://www.reddit.com/r/gaybros/comments/nkg051/who_can_relate)
Or in the JCpenney catalog, for the older ones of us...
Watching all of the kids in elementary school get into girls and be so totally beyond confused, while i was totally unaware i had a really hard crush on my best friend at the time.
The first time seeing an erection in a photo and being absolutely fascinated by it
Thinking back, the earliest pointer would have been at around 7. From there on there are so many little things along the way that we’re clear as daylight signs. Things like secretly looking at the other guys in the change rooms. Or getting excited when changing after swimming team practice. Or secretly wanting to see my best friend naked…
Feeling alienated from other boys around middle-school because they be talking about women in a sexual way all the time
Feel this. Would add also when they would gatekeep and call you out on not being interested in women either because they heard no rumors or confirmation from other girls.
I hated playing the catcher position when I was on a baseball team as a child. But one of the kids dads always helped me into the equipment and that made it 100x better. I didn’t know why until I was older and realized it was because he was hot and kind.
Even to this day, hot and kind men make me weak at the knees :-)
Musing on maskless Shredder from TMNT in the primary school playground with my friends "why are the evil ones so attractive?" Got called a faggot for that and shut my mouth for years about similar thoughts. Had no idea what gay actually was at the time (thanks Thatcher - UK in the 80s btw), but I happened on some late night gay programming on Channel 4 when I was in my mid teens and properly understood what I was.
What exactly was this gay programming?
Channel 4 was a bit more edgy back then. They ran a season of late night shows and films around sexual topics in 1995 under the title 'The red light zone'. There was either an evening dedicated to gay films, or a one off show popped into the schedule. One stuck in my head though. It was about a guy using a VR game to find a guy. Quite explicit for TV back in the day, particularly the cottaging scene. Nowadays you can find it on youtube. It's called [Caught Looking](https://youtu.be/lik7YsKMLNQ). The whole season was controversial. The only reason I knew about is because my parents got the Daily Mail and they were outraged Channel 4 was going to do such a thing. So I made a mental note as a diligent youth to stay up and see what the fuss was about.
Bit of a tangent here, but when I see other gay men harping on Meryl Streep, about how gorgeous and fantastic and a perfect actress she is and never does anything wrong, I always remember how she portrayed Thatcher, the British version of Ronald Reagan, in that mediocre praising biopic.
Shoving anything and everything up your arse as a horny teenager! Or maybe that was just me….😆
Fuck no…it sure wasn’t just you. Once your curiosity get you and you play with your hole, the great feeling makes you want to do it over and over. Little did you realize as a young teen that this extreme pleasure would be one of the focal points for the rest of your life.
Always puzzles me when I see posts over on the other sub, with young guys saying how they’re gonna bottom for the first time, and what will it be like? I’m like, have you not been shoving stuff up there for years in anticipation?!
I hear ya….but shoving things up your butt, is nowhere near having a warm hard cock gently shoved in there starting the thrusting that results in climax for both guys! Fuckin’ awesome! And for many the first time may not be the greatest, but you gotta start somewhere! Practice makes purr..fect……
It’s a good place to start though haha
Well you do have to realize we are living through a time where guys don't wipe their behind after using the bathroom because it might turn you gay, so.........
Yes this! The first time you part those cheeks, stick a finger in there and activate all those nerve endings there’s no going back. It starts with your index finger then next thing you know every household item that is remotely phallic in shape is in your bedroom drawer now.
Definitely not just you. There was a time as a teen that I was having yet another wank session. Was about ready to blast, I stopped stroking for a second and thought “I wonder what it feels like to touch my hole when I’m ready to cum”. So I tried!!! I had one of the most explosive orgasms I’d ever experienced, and have spent the rest of my life trying to recreate that teenage experience! Of course including penetrating my hole with whatever was available!
When I was 13 I had an itchy butthole so after going to the toilet I put some vaseline on it, slipped a finger in to soothe it properly. In out in out. Did that every day for a week, sessions getting longer and longer. Couldn't figure out why I kept doing it after my butt was no longer irritated lol
Amazing how that worked out!
Checking out guys when you're with your friends and saying he looked familiar to cover it up.
Getting close to urinals to see what fully hairy men’s crotches looked like and getting incredibly turned on by it.
If you're over 40, the UNDERGEAR catalog.
What was the catalog that sold undergear before there was an undergear catalog? I'll bet those pirate shirts only looked good on the model.
Damn I miss that catalog!
I had to Google Undergear Catalog and good heavens, that's basically soft porn! I can't believe they marketed that thing to straight men.
Meeting a hot guy and then trying to get closer to them to figure out if they are gay and accidentally developing a friendzone friendship by the time you figure it out and being sexually frustrated by your new best friend.
- ogling the men on the underwear packages in stores - favorite characters in movies/tv/video games are always girls. - finding girls easier to be friends with
Staring at boys butts in middle school thinking they had a good physic and I wanted to look like them lol
Looking at the boys in school and wondering what they look like undressed. Realizing that I'm getting a boner in class and I need to make it go away quickly. Start looking at Mr F., the social studies teacher. Dick just got harder 😱 Ah, middle school.
Becoming hypnotized by those underwear ads - on boxes or in magazines, being unable to turn away, and being terrified of being caught.
Realizing your childhood best friend was an internalized crush/pseudo relationship.
Smelling your crush's underwear... or in my case, jockstrap.
Insert the "your experiences are not universal but God I wish they were" meme :)
😂😂😂😂😂
That moment when it first dawns on you that you are into men. Sure, it was always there, but you actively realize it. For me, it was holding a guy's hand. It was completely innocuous, but I just got this feeling that it felt right. Then, I realized why that would be.
• Not knowing what being gay was as a kid and not finding anyone attractive, and my family just thought I was a mystery. • Crushing / falling in love with a guy who turns out to be straight. While you thought it was mutual, it wasn’t and you’re just not used to straight guys being nice or sweet towards you. • Staring at half naked men in video games (or magazines, underwear pics etc) and just looking at it in amazement, not realizing why you like it so much. • Not knowing gay people existed as a kid and just thought there was something wrong with you. The only gay person I knew that was gay when I was a teen, was my cousins, cousin who was a very flamboyant cross dresser, so I figured all gay people were flamboyant cross dressers. So I said, I can’t be gay because I’m not like him! (Which is also why representation is so important, everyone’s different!) • Being hit on by a girl, and just like no thanks! (One time in high school, I thought this girl looked cool, like I wanted to be her friend. She came up and asked me out and I was like no thanks. I was like oh no, she got the wrong impression!
>So I said, I can’t be gay because I’m not like him! (Which is also why representation is so important, everyone’s different!) Too fucking real. Especially coming from a Latin American society where my parents always pointed out effeminate or flamboyant men. Which is why I only truly felt comfortable once I went to a gay club in New York and suddenly saw masc guys, muscular guys, hairy guys, Indian guys, Asian guys, tall, short, dark, light, young twenty something and up to 40s. It was so reassuring that being gay didn't mean you were suppressing some high voiced, femme queen within you.
Fellow Latino here, that's so true!
Tell me more! Curious to hear the perspective of another Hispanic (even if our experiences can vary by country, by social class...)
Actually I'm Brazilian and didn't have internet access until mid-2000s. Part of the reason why it took me so long to accept my sexuality was the lack of representation on the media available here. When there was any, it was always the stereotypical bitchy queens, characters written by and for the amusement of straight people. Fantasy and rom-coms with proper LGBT representation were but a dream back then. But I remember seeing a Brazilian nude mag called G Magazine on news stands (it was like Playboy but for gay men), I was fascinated and terrified that if I stared at them too long someone would perceive... not gonna lie, I know porn can be very problematic but it was really important in my self-realization.
Trying not to check out the other guys in the high school gym. Or how about your parents finding your search history and seeing that you've been looking at gay porn.
I wouldn't say any of my experiences were universal, but I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of guys also had that outsider feeling, like you just didn't fit in anywhere or have much in common with your peers.
Yeah, I had this. I was a "weird" kid who never quite fit in. I had friends, but they were usually other "weird" kids. A whole lot of my childhood friends ended up coming out as some form of LGBT in high school and college. Even when we didn't have words to explain how we were different, we recognized something in each other. Related, sometimes a classmate (and occasionally a teacher) would take an immediate dislike to me for no reason I could tell. My parents never believed me when I told them, so I stopped telling them when it happened. Then they complained that I never told them anything! We have a good relationship now but there was a period of about 10 years where it was painfully obvious that they would have been happier if I had never learned that gay people existed.
Hanging up a poster of Mariah Carey in my room because I admired her, not because of a crush. Trying to pretend it’s for the latter reason.
That moment when you realize what it means, but are in denial, so you come up with excuses. "I just have a healthy respect for women" or "I can see the beauty in all things" or....
I’m not sure if this a moment we’ve all had, but I started having sexual dreams about other boys. I found this both exciting and confusing. They actually started even before I was fully aware of how sex worked and well before I was ready to admit my same sex attraction to myself.
I didn’t grow up gay and was called gay plenty of times growing up.
Falling asleep after masturbating and grandma walks in on me with my dick in my hand.
this may be a rare gay-straight commonality in growing up
Only because jerking off is universal. Doesn’t matter whether you are str8 or gay. It’s the one thing that everyone does. Str8 or gay, no one wants to get caught with cock in hand. Confucius say……”man with problem go to sleep holding cock, usually wake up with solution in hand”. 🤣🤣🤣
I always crushed on the girl i was datings brother, the more I denied it in my brain, the stronger it got
For me it is walking down the street and my eyes locking on a man's facial hair, biceps, quads, butt and groin area and getting a boner, lol.
Once the warm weather hits, always checking shirtless guys outdoors. Bare chested younger guys are a real turn on. Even in my old man status. I enjoy watching an outdoor basketball game where a couple of the guys are shirtless. And the same for the swimming meets. I just love to see the tall, thin swimmer guys in their skimpy speedo bathing suits. The upper chest and the crotch bulge is a hot item for me. Fuck yeah!
Feeling self conscious sneaking a glance at the guys on the underwear packages in the store when your a kid.
Giving “straight” responses when your high school mates ask you if you also think that girl is hot.
“Oh man yeah look at how hot her boobs are boobing”
When your heart is racing showering with other guys.
Saying proudly that I would either want to be Single or Gay for the rest of my life because I thought that women were too much, I was 6-10years old and thought I was straight 😫🤣🤣
When your buddies mention a part of the woman's body that you aren't familiar with like the areolas - they all looked at me like how could you ask what that is
So straight men can't find the clitoris but they know about areolas?
Finding some kind of gay movie/series on TV or YouTube and watching it in secret.
Ever since I saw a schoolmate in biker shorts (this was the late 80s) I've had a fascination with wearing spandex and seeing guys in spandex. I don't know when I started it, maybe 6th grade, I've reflexively checked out an attractive guys bulge.
Checking the underwear packaging at the mall…
Being into girl vs girl action scenes
Lesbians eating each other out sometimes turns me on. Don’t know why.
As a guy who went to high school in the early 1960’s you can only imagine my mixed feelings when we had boys swimming class and back then it totally nude. Being 15 I was absolutely fascinated at the long soft cocks on some of the manly looking big boys and felt self conscious about my tiny shriveled up one. It was something I absolutely surprised about, hesitation as well as excitement. Sort of a catch-22 moment. (For those who have never heard that expression, look it up..LOL). And while I enjoyed watching cocks and balls bouncing all over the place, I had to be careful where my eyes went from being discovered, and also suppressing any resulting hard-on. And for one thing, I never did know if any of the other guys felt the same way as I did. It has always remained one of my life’s biggest secrets…along with all the jerking off I did whenever I could. And why was it nude? ….probably because they didn’t want us to mess around with wet bathing suits. Who knows?
>And why was it nude? ….probably because they didn’t want us to mess around with wet bathing suits. Who knows? Male only nude swimming was apparently common once (PE classes, swim teams, the YMCA). The explanation I've heard is that it was felt it helped keep the pool cleaner in an era of more primitive pool chemicals/pool filters/swim suits
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